zoos
 zoos

zoos

ducking
ducking

ducking

the keys
the keys

the keys

every time
every time

every time

fashionable
fashionable

fashionable

useful
useful

useful

escape
escape

escape

cage
cage

cage

list of
list of

list of

caging
caging

caging

🔥 | Latest

Anaconda, Animals, and Be Like: if i were a zookeeper my intrusive thoughts would be wild pumpkinvictor brain: slap that penguin. right across his little blubbery tummy. it'll jiggle. me: no??? that's mean??? brain: polar bear, then pumpkinvictor brain: the lons just got fed raw meat brain: steal it and eat it in front of them me:.. pumpkinvictor ttle-king-smashmouth AS A ZOOKEEPERI CAN CONFIRM THIS IS 100% A REAL STRUGGLE rowan i want you to know that this is the best possible reply i could have received I work with animals and this is true for me. No, I cannot eat sea stars out the touch tank no matter HOW good you think the cronch will be, brain. sometimes you wonder what was going through the head of the first human to eat something really weird and then you see this post and stop wondering harinezumiko This 100% was me at the zoo. Don't touch Melon, he's mean. Okay, but I have to touch Bob to make him get his stupid emu head out of my shirt, so what if I also touch Melon until he likes it? Sephiroth is angery because he has one wing and sometimes attacks people? I want to pet him also. Also he won't get off the rock I have to clean anyway, surely a little pets on the good side will be fine. Martha and Stewart are assholes that tag-team while the pond is filling? I bet I could CUDDLE THEM The female deer will excitedly nuzzle you in the stomach for feeding them. This is fine, because they don't have antlers. The male deer is locked up while we're putting out food because he will gouge you to death with his little nubby asymmetrical homs, because he thinks the females are doing it. The entire monkey enclosure will eat your fingers for a single fruit loop. They also have the smallest arms and can reach through holes they ve made in the tarp on the gate to their enclosure. Do not hold hands with the monkeys. (2nd gen old man monkey will also pee on the keepers that don't give him fruit loops. He is a jerk) The rehabilitated bear that still sits like she's on a couch because she did that when she was living in a crack house? Yes, she looks chill. Yes, she looks The Softest. No, do not pet her back through the fence. No, do not go into the corridor and try to offer treats for pets. Big Mac does not know he will break your ribs, but YOU know he will break your ribs. Do not enter Big Mac's enclosure no matter how much he chuffs and displays his belly and rubs on the cage and looks sad. Yes, he genuinely wants pets. Yes, Pinkie is deliberately getting pets where he can see it as a sign of dominance even though she's a housecat and he could eat her in approximately one bite. The turtle is mean. Period. He is an old man and he does not like you. He does not like the parrot getting fries and he does not like that he is in a kiddie pool to warm up because his enclosure lost power, and he does not like you behind him preparing food for the owls and raptors. Petting him will not help this. He will rock back and forth and mean mug you forever because he is a grumpy old man. All of the rabbits need more handling on principle. They don't know you and they äre very distressed that you're täking their poop away. They can learn, a little, kind of. The guinea pig is insane and will not leam. Do not pet the guinea pig. this post is gathering some highly blessed zoo stories i love it! thank you as biologist, can confirm brain: that frog is very small me: well spotted, brain brain: put smol frog in mouth me: no! brain: that lynx.. .Jooks so fluffy me: it does brain: we should pet it. me: it's awake and angry so no. brain: baaaaby bunny. me: yup brain: baby bunny goes in pocket me: nooo it doesn't. Ah-I read the one about the sea star crunch and I immediately thought of if I ate one, what goo would come out. Would it be like a mozzarella stick? The texture seems to fit right. What if someone served someone a sea star instead of a mozzarella stick in the shape of a sea star? Would they eat t? Would IilI eat it? What if I knew it was a sea star? Would I STILL eat i? I kinda just want mozzarella sticks but now they could all be sea star limbs so I have to be careful... Source: snowquee.. Wanimal Bintrusive thoughts 8200 98,700 notes Intrusive Thoughts
Anaconda, Animals, and Be Like: if i were a zookeeper my intrusive thoughts would be wild
 pumpkinvictor
 brain: slap that penguin. right across his little blubbery
 tummy. it'll jiggle.
 me: no??? that's mean???
 brain: polar bear, then
 pumpkinvictor
 brain: the lons just got fed raw meat
 brain: steal it and eat it in front of them
 me:..
 pumpkinvictor
 ttle-king-smashmouth
 AS A ZOOKEEPERI CAN
 CONFIRM THIS IS 100% A REAL
 STRUGGLE
 rowan i want you to know that this is the best possible reply i
 could have received
 I work with animals and this is true for me. No, I cannot eat
 sea stars out the touch tank no matter HOW good you think
 the cronch will be, brain.
 sometimes you wonder what was going through the head of
 the first human to eat something really weird and then you
 see this post and stop wondering
 harinezumiko
 This 100% was me at the zoo. Don't touch Melon, he's mean.
 Okay, but I have to touch Bob to make him get his stupid emu
 head out of my shirt, so what if I also touch Melon until he
 likes it?
 Sephiroth is angery because he has one wing and sometimes
 attacks people? I want to pet him also. Also he won't get off
 the rock I have to clean anyway, surely a little pets on the
 good side will be fine.
 Martha and Stewart are assholes that tag-team while the
 pond is filling? I bet I could CUDDLE THEM
 The female deer will excitedly nuzzle you in the stomach for
 feeding them. This is fine, because they don't have antlers.
 The male deer is locked up while we're putting out food
 because he will gouge you to death with his little nubby
 asymmetrical homs, because he thinks the females are doing
 it.
 The entire monkey enclosure will eat your fingers for a single
 fruit loop. They also have the smallest arms and can reach
 through holes they ve made in the tarp on the gate to their
 enclosure. Do not hold hands with the monkeys. (2nd gen old
 man monkey will also pee on the keepers that don't give him
 fruit loops. He is a jerk)
 The rehabilitated bear that still sits like she's on a couch
 because she did that when she was living in a crack house?
 Yes, she looks chill. Yes, she looks The Softest. No, do not
 pet her back through the fence. No, do not go into the corridor
 and try to offer treats for pets.
 Big Mac does not know he will break your ribs, but YOU know
 he will break your ribs. Do not enter Big Mac's enclosure no
 matter how much he chuffs and displays his belly and rubs on
 the cage and looks sad. Yes, he genuinely wants pets. Yes,
 Pinkie is deliberately getting pets where he can see it as a
 sign of dominance even though she's a housecat and he
 could eat her in approximately one bite.
 The turtle is mean. Period. He is an old man and he does not
 like you. He does not like the parrot getting fries and he does
 not like that he is in a kiddie pool to warm up because his
 enclosure lost power, and he does not like you behind him
 preparing food for the owls and raptors. Petting him will not
 help this. He will rock back and forth and mean mug you
 forever because he is a
 grumpy old man.
 All of the rabbits need more handling on principle. They don't
 know you and they äre very distressed that you're täking their
 poop away. They can learn, a little, kind of. The guinea pig is
 insane and will not leam. Do not pet the guinea pig.
 this post is gathering some highly blessed zoo stories i love it!
 thank you
 as biologist, can confirm
 brain: that frog is very small
 me: well spotted, brain
 brain: put smol frog in mouth
 me: no!
 brain: that lynx.. .Jooks so fluffy
 me: it does
 brain: we should pet it.
 me: it's awake and
 angry so no.
 brain: baaaaby bunny.
 me: yup
 brain: baby bunny goes in pocket
 me: nooo it doesn't.
 Ah-I read the one about the sea star crunch and I
 immediately thought of if I ate one, what goo would come out.
 Would it be like a mozzarella stick? The texture seems to fit
 right. What if someone served someone a sea star instead of
 a mozzarella stick in the shape of a sea star? Would they eat
 t? Would IilI eat it? What if I knew it was a sea star? Would I
 STILL eat i? I kinda just want mozzarella sticks but now they
 could all be sea star limbs so I have to be careful...
 Source: snowquee..
 Wanimal Bintrusive thoughts 8200
 98,700 notes
Intrusive Thoughts

Intrusive Thoughts

Be Like, Chill, and Fucking: We were following a lioness carrying her cub & she was getting really tired An elephant showed up wanting to help the lioness. The elephant put its trunk down, the cub jumped up & the elephant carried the lion cub!! S28, 3km from S entrance Tinged by Sloof Lirpa topsydead: I’m telling you elephants are chill motherfuckers. They fucking love being helpful. They once defended a man with heatstroke from a truck that came to rescue him. They knew he was sick, laying against a tree for shade. They were watching over him and petting him, and they threatened to charge the vehicle for coming towards him. Another person passed out, and elephants cried over her and buried her body in a traditional elephant funeral. (Piling branches on her). And were quite spooked when she got up later.And an elephant was helping workers to put logs in holes for a wall. On one hole, the elephant absolutely refused to set the log in, despite being punished and goaded. Turns out there was a sleeping dog in the hole. There are so many good elephants stories. They will even help zookeepers wash other elephants– literally, a zookeeper can be like “[Name 1], please wash [Name 2]” and he will go wash that elephant correctly.Listen guys. Not only are elephants people, but they’re largely better people than us. I’m 10000% serious.
Be Like, Chill, and Fucking: We were following a lioness carrying
 her cub & she was getting really tired
 An elephant showed up wanting to
 help the lioness. The elephant put its
 trunk down, the cub jumped up & the
 elephant carried the lion cub!!
 S28, 3km from S entrance
 Tinged by Sloof Lirpa
topsydead:
I’m telling you elephants are chill motherfuckers. They fucking love being helpful. They once defended a man with heatstroke from a truck that came to rescue him. They knew he was sick, laying against a tree for shade. They were watching over him and petting him, and they threatened to charge the vehicle for coming towards him. Another person passed out, and elephants cried over her and buried her body in a traditional elephant funeral. (Piling branches on her). And were quite spooked when she got up later.And an elephant was helping workers to put logs in holes for a wall. On one hole, the elephant absolutely refused to set the log in, despite being punished and goaded. Turns out there was a sleeping dog in the hole.
There are so many good elephants stories. They will even help zookeepers wash other elephants– literally, a zookeeper can be like “[Name 1], please wash [Name 2]” and he will go wash that elephant correctly.Listen guys. Not only are elephants people, but they’re largely better people than us. I’m 10000% serious.

topsydead: I’m telling you elephants are chill motherfuckers. They fucking love being helpful. They once defended a man with heatstroke from...

Be Like, Chill, and Fucking: We were following a lioness carrying her cub & she was getting really tired An elephant showed up wanting to help the lioness. The elephant put its trunk down, the cub jumped up & the elephant carried the lion cub!! S28, 3km from S entrance Tinged by Sloof Lirpa topsydead: I’m telling you elephants are chill motherfuckers. They fucking love being helpful. They once defended a man with heatstroke from a truck that came to rescue him. They knew he was sick, laying against a tree for shade. They were watching over him and petting him, and they threatened to charge the vehicle for coming towards him. Another person passed out, and elephants cried over her and buried her body in a traditional elephant funeral. (Piling branches on her). And were quite spooked when she got up later.And an elephant was helping workers to put logs in holes for a wall. On one hole, the elephant absolutely refused to set the log in, despite being punished and goaded. Turns out there was a sleeping dog in the hole. There are so many good elephants stories. They will even help zookeepers wash other elephants– literally, a zookeeper can be like “[Name 1], please wash [Name 2]” and he will go wash that elephant correctly.Listen guys. Not only are elephants people, but they’re largely better people than us. I’m 10000% serious.
Be Like, Chill, and Fucking: We were following a lioness carrying
 her cub & she was getting really tired
 An elephant showed up wanting to
 help the lioness. The elephant put its
 trunk down, the cub jumped up & the
 elephant carried the lion cub!!
 S28, 3km from S entrance
 Tinged by Sloof Lirpa
topsydead:
I’m telling you elephants are chill motherfuckers. They fucking love being helpful. They once defended a man with heatstroke from a truck that came to rescue him. They knew he was sick, laying against a tree for shade. They were watching over him and petting him, and they threatened to charge the vehicle for coming towards him. Another person passed out, and elephants cried over her and buried her body in a traditional elephant funeral. (Piling branches on her). And were quite spooked when she got up later.And an elephant was helping workers to put logs in holes for a wall. On one hole, the elephant absolutely refused to set the log in, despite being punished and goaded. Turns out there was a sleeping dog in the hole.
There are so many good elephants stories. They will even help zookeepers wash other elephants– literally, a zookeeper can be like “[Name 1], please wash [Name 2]” and he will go wash that elephant correctly.Listen guys. Not only are elephants people, but they’re largely better people than us. I’m 10000% serious.

topsydead: I’m telling you elephants are chill motherfuckers. They fucking love being helpful. They once defended a man with heatstroke from...

Be Like, Chill, and Fucking: We were following a lioness carrying her cub & she was getting really tired An elephant showed up wanting to help the lioness. The elephant put its trunk down, the cub jumped up & the elephant carried the lion cub!! S28, 3km from S entrance Tinged by Sloof Lirpa topsydead: I’m telling you elephants are chill motherfuckers. They fucking love being helpful. They once defended a man with heatstroke from a truck that came to rescue him. They knew he was sick, laying against a tree for shade. They were watching over him and petting him, and they threatened to charge the vehicle for coming towards him. Another person passed out, and elephants cried over her and buried her body in a traditional elephant funeral. (Piling branches on her). And were quite spooked when she got up later.And an elephant was helping workers to put logs in holes for a wall. On one hole, the elephant absolutely refused to set the log in, despite being punished and goaded. Turns out there was a sleeping dog in the hole. There are so many good elephants stories. They will even help zookeepers wash other elephants– literally, a zookeeper can be like “[Name 1], please wash [Name 2]” and he will go wash that elephant correctly.Listen guys. Not only are elephants people, but they’re largely better people than us. I’m 10000% serious.
Be Like, Chill, and Fucking: We were following a lioness carrying
 her cub & she was getting really tired
 An elephant showed up wanting to
 help the lioness. The elephant put its
 trunk down, the cub jumped up & the
 elephant carried the lion cub!!
 S28, 3km from S entrance
 Tinged by Sloof Lirpa
topsydead:
I’m telling you elephants are chill motherfuckers. They fucking love being helpful. They once defended a man with heatstroke from a truck that came to rescue him. They knew he was sick, laying against a tree for shade. They were watching over him and petting him, and they threatened to charge the vehicle for coming towards him. Another person passed out, and elephants cried over her and buried her body in a traditional elephant funeral. (Piling branches on her). And were quite spooked when she got up later.And an elephant was helping workers to put logs in holes for a wall. On one hole, the elephant absolutely refused to set the log in, despite being punished and goaded. Turns out there was a sleeping dog in the hole.
There are so many good elephants stories. They will even help zookeepers wash other elephants– literally, a zookeeper can be like “[Name 1], please wash [Name 2]” and he will go wash that elephant correctly.Listen guys. Not only are elephants people, but they’re largely better people than us. I’m 10000% serious.

topsydead: I’m telling you elephants are chill motherfuckers. They fucking love being helpful. They once defended a man with heatstroke from...