Was
Was

Was

Your
Your

Your

Thinking About
Thinking About

Thinking About

The
The

The

Know Youre
Know Youre

Know Youre

Know Your
Know Your

Know Your

Know You
Know You

Know You

Not
Not

Not

But
But

But

The Ass
The Ass

The Ass

🔥 | Latest

Fucking, God, and Internet: mandatalks: locatescape: ask-link-the-hylian-champion: theinfiknight: memeseverdie: bidfox: rnother-hen: neener-nina: deltadragoon: vikinglibertarian: zombie-alpaca-sex-tarp: bestrooftalkever: coolstoryrob: meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerlin: serionsly: voyagevisuelle: This a Moonmelon, scientifically knows as asidus. This fruit grows in some parts of Japan, and is known for its vibrant blue color. What you probably don’t know about this fruit is that it can switch flavors after you eat it. Everything sour will taste sweet, everything salty will taste bitter, and it gives water a strong orange-like taste. It’s also very expensive…costing about ¥16000 JPY (which is about 200 dollars). or you know this could be photoshopped but idk you tell me this is alexandrias melon (wow) it never grows seeds but it can still produce other melons (its magic) it is grown deep in the jungles of peru and can prevent you from aging well into the hundreds it is known by the natives there as k’uhul ajaw cacao shi-jiiy. its really strange how all of these pictures look exactly the same because everything on the internet is true This is the Peppermeloni. (seriously gosh just look at that sexy mother fucker) Its scientific name is Tumblrous Pepperonus. The only known specimen is in a pot in David Karps treasure dungeon. It is a tradition that a single slice is given to every tumblr blog that reaches 500,000 followers. It has the remarkable property of being as healthy as watermelon but tasting like cheesy pepperoni pizza. This planet is really just so amazing guys wow. Patrickmelon The taste of this melon will always surprise you. I’m fucking done with this site This is the evermelon. If you cut this watermelon a certain way you will find that it has seemingly regenerated. You can do this an infinite number of times and will have a neverending supply of melon. OH GOD I haven’t seen this post in YEARS and THAT is the fucking additon to it!? ALRIGHT THATS IT ITS TIME TO STOP Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Ravenmelon and I’m ebony black  (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips, and a lot of people tell me I look like watermelons (AN: if u don’t know what dat is get da hell out of here!). Nothing will ever be better than the last one HASHBFJGJDHRJFKFKRJ That last one took me out at the god damn kneecaps- Someone wrote a really interesting article about why people believe these sorts of things so easily.
Fucking, God, and Internet: mandatalks:

locatescape:

ask-link-the-hylian-champion:


theinfiknight:


memeseverdie:

bidfox:

rnother-hen:

neener-nina:

deltadragoon:

vikinglibertarian:

zombie-alpaca-sex-tarp:

bestrooftalkever:

coolstoryrob:

meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerlin:

serionsly:

voyagevisuelle:

This a Moonmelon, scientifically knows as asidus. This fruit grows in some parts of Japan, and is known for its vibrant blue color. What you probably don’t know about this fruit is that it can switch flavors after you eat it. Everything sour will taste sweet, everything salty will taste bitter, and it gives water a strong orange-like taste. It’s also very expensive…costing about ¥16000 JPY (which is about 200 dollars).

or you know this could be photoshopped

but idk
you tell me


this is alexandrias melon (wow)
it never grows seeds but it can still produce other melons (its magic)
it is grown deep in the jungles of peru and can prevent you from aging well into the hundreds
it is known by the natives there as k’uhul ajaw cacao shi-jiiy.
its really strange how all of these pictures look exactly the same because everything on the internet is true


This is the Peppermeloni. (seriously gosh just look at that sexy mother fucker) Its scientific name is Tumblrous Pepperonus.
The only known specimen is in a pot in David Karps treasure dungeon. It is a tradition that a single slice is given to every tumblr blog that reaches 500,000 followers.
It has the remarkable property of being as healthy as watermelon but tasting like cheesy pepperoni pizza.
This planet is really just so amazing guys wow.


Patrickmelon
The taste of this melon will always surprise you.

I’m fucking done with this site


This is the evermelon.
If you cut this watermelon a certain way you will find that it has seemingly regenerated. You can do this an infinite number of times and will have a neverending supply of melon.



OH GOD I haven’t seen this post in YEARS and THAT is the fucking additon to it!?

ALRIGHT THATS IT ITS TIME TO STOP


Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Ravenmelon and I’m ebony black  (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips, and a lot of people tell me I look like watermelons (AN: if u don’t know what dat is get da hell out of here!).


Nothing will ever be better than the last one 


HASHBFJGJDHRJFKFKRJ


That last one took me out at the god damn kneecaps-



Someone wrote a really interesting article about why people believe these sorts of things so easily.

mandatalks: locatescape: ask-link-the-hylian-champion: theinfiknight: memeseverdie: bidfox: rnother-hen: neener-nina: deltadragoon...

Cars, Fire, and God: Jared 2 hrs please tell me someone got a video of the fire truck moving swiftly and safely through thousands of protestors tonight you know, for all of the "concerned citizens" at home You, Rick d 20 others 2 Comments 1 Share Like Share Comment THROWBACK NIGHT OLD SCHOOLAPROV Speak Out Against Adam Iverson Muslim Ban! 17 mins For the people who complain about emergency vehicles being blocked: GVE MEY AdamlversonPhotography captain-snark: ohdionne: So Minnesotans showed the fuck up tonight (like we do) - thousands in the street protesting tr*mp’s latest executive disorders. And guess what happened? The old proverb “What if an emergency vehicle needs to get where it’s going” came to life, and the sea went silent and parted to allow it through (swiftly…literally the truck was going about as fast as, if not faster than, it would have been if there had been cars it needed to go around). Please share this. This was a rare occurrence where an emergency vehicle needed to go through the route of a protest, when usually they have predetermined alternative routes, and it went completely fine. Also for the love of god, have more respect for firefighters/EMTs…they know how to do their jobs. They’re ready for anything, including working around protests. So folks can stop using that tired old argument now (not that it was ever backed up by sources anyway). It’s almost as though these protesters who are protesting for human rights are decent human people.
Cars, Fire, and God: Jared
 2 hrs
 please tell me someone got a video of the fire truck
 moving swiftly and safely through thousands of
 protestors tonight
 you know, for all of the "concerned citizens" at home
 You, Rick
 d 20 others
 2 Comments 1 Share
 Like
 Share
 Comment

 THROWBACK NIGHT
 OLD SCHOOLAPROV
 Speak Out Against
 Adam Iverson
 Muslim Ban!
 17 mins
 For the people who complain about emergency
 vehicles being blocked:
 GVE MEY
 AdamlversonPhotography
captain-snark:

ohdionne:

So Minnesotans showed the fuck up tonight (like we do) - thousands in the street protesting tr*mp’s latest executive disorders. And guess what happened? The old proverb “What if an emergency vehicle needs to get where it’s going” came to life, and the sea went silent and parted to allow it through (swiftly…literally the truck was going about as fast as, if not faster than, it would have been if there had been cars it needed to go around).

Please share this. This was a rare occurrence where an emergency vehicle needed to go through the route of a protest, when usually they have predetermined alternative routes, and it went completely fine. Also for the love of god, have more respect for firefighters/EMTs…they know how to do their jobs. They’re ready for anything, including working around protests. 

So folks can stop using that tired old argument now (not that it was ever backed up by sources anyway).

It’s almost as though these protesters who are protesting for human rights are decent human people.

captain-snark: ohdionne: So Minnesotans showed the fuck up tonight (like we do) - thousands in the street protesting tr*mp’s latest execut...

Crazy, Facebook, and Fail: Add Friend A fellow melanated creative recieved this deliberate discouragement in his tumblr inbox...what's crazy is...I can't really say that anonymous is wrong though. #Sad #P0C #WherelsTheSupport Ananymous s... you know ur kickstarter is going to fail, right? tumblr and the rest of the world doesn't care about visual novels featuring black people nearly as much as you seem to think they do. just look at how little notes your little project gets. Like Comment Share EN OF 2AL blackmoonbabe: askhimemiyaanthy: feminismdoneright: I’m going to point out some weird things about @projecttrinity‘s upcoming visual novel “Women of Xal” in relation to this site. 1) It’s an upcoming Kickstarter bound otome game that very obviously is PoC / People of Color WoC/ Women of Color centric. We’ve got a bi female lead with several romancable women. And it’s in a harsh matriarchal society ready to give some brutal parallels to our own. Being helmed by a very capable and snarky Black writer. The two programmers are women. The artists are women. The singers are women. One of the animators is a woman. AND THERE’S TANGIBLE QUALITY TO IT! I thought we’ve been asking for more projects like this for years now. But Tumblr has been the most quiet of the four sites it’s updating on??? (Youtube, Facebook, LemmSoftForums, Tumblr)  2) How are hateful anons finding this project before everyone else? Why are we letting Black creatives feel like the anon has a point about Tumblr not caring? Isn’t this site notorious for propping up content like this? Where are my feminists at?! Like, I truly get it: Most of you will have only just heard of this. And Tumblr didn’t make it easy in the first place. Tags and timing are madly important. But so are reblogs and follows! You’re reading this now - there’s nothing truly stopping you from showing that anon the middle finger. For every time WE DON’T JUST ‘HEART’ A CREATIVE’S POST and reblog/follow their content, we prove hateful anons like this wrong. And every time we prove them wrong, we send an encouraging message to other minorities who want to share their passions with the world, but face that uphill battle. And hey, the writer clearly has faith in this site still: You can find out more about the project here. Or, better yet, follow, and support the team here! (Bonus Note: If you’re someone who has been reblogging a lot of content from this team as well, cheers, fellow sisters! 3) Something unrelated, but, please help support! :)  Tumblr’s pretty good about ignoring black creators, hell alot of black people on tumblr are pretty good about ignoring black creators. Which really goes to show you most of the folks on here are just being performative for good noodle stars and aren’t really about anything.
Crazy, Facebook, and Fail: Add Friend
 A fellow melanated creative recieved this deliberate discouragement in his tumblr
 inbox...what's crazy is...I can't really say that anonymous is wrong though. #Sad
 #P0C #WherelsTheSupport
 Ananymous s...
 you know ur kickstarter is going to fail, right? tumblr and the rest of the world doesn't
 care about visual novels featuring black people nearly as much as you seem to think they
 do. just look at how little notes your little project gets.
 Like
 Comment
 Share

 EN
 OF
 2AL
blackmoonbabe:

askhimemiyaanthy:

feminismdoneright:

I’m going to point out some weird things about @projecttrinity‘s upcoming visual novel “Women of Xal” in relation to this site.
1) It’s an upcoming Kickstarter bound otome game that very obviously is PoC / People of Color  WoC/ Women of Color centric. We’ve got a bi female lead with several romancable women. And it’s in a harsh matriarchal society ready to give some brutal parallels to our own. Being helmed by a very capable and snarky Black writer. The two programmers are women. The artists are women. The singers are women. One of the animators is a woman. AND THERE’S TANGIBLE QUALITY TO IT! I thought we’ve been asking for more projects like this for years now. But Tumblr has been the most quiet of the four sites

it’s updating on???

 (Youtube, Facebook, LemmSoftForums, Tumblr) 
2) How are hateful anons finding this project before everyone else? Why are we letting Black creatives feel like the anon has a point about Tumblr not caring? Isn’t this site notorious for propping up content like this? Where are my feminists at?!
Like, I truly get it: Most of you will have only just heard of this. And Tumblr didn’t make it easy in the first place. Tags and timing are madly important. But so are reblogs and follows! You’re reading this now - there’s nothing truly stopping you from showing that anon the middle finger. For every time WE DON’T JUST ‘HEART’ A CREATIVE’S POST and reblog/follow their content, we prove hateful anons like this wrong. And every time we prove them wrong, we send an encouraging message to other minorities who want to share their passions with the world, but face that uphill battle.
And hey, the writer clearly has faith in this site still:

You can find out more about the project here.
Or, better yet, follow, and support the team here!

(Bonus Note: If you’re someone who has been reblogging a lot of content from this team as well, cheers, fellow sisters! 3)

Something unrelated, but, please help support! :) 

Tumblr’s pretty good about ignoring black creators, hell alot of black people on tumblr are pretty good about ignoring black creators. Which really goes to show you most of the folks on here are just being performative for good noodle stars and aren’t really about anything.

blackmoonbabe: askhimemiyaanthy: feminismdoneright: I’m going to point out some weird things about @projecttrinity‘s upcoming visual nove...

Magic, Vacation, and Sunday: PROPOSED NEW STANDARD YEAR 13 EQUAL SIZED MONTHS (28 days x 13 months = 364, +1 = 365) THE FIRST DAY OF THE MONTH IS ALWAYS A SUNDAY THE LAST DAY OF THE MONTH IS ALWAYS A SATURDAY Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat 2 3 4 5 6 7 89 4 5 67 1 23 8 9 4 5 6 7 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 2 3 1 1 9 10 10 11 12 13 14 10 11 12 13 14 8 12 13 14 8 10 11 12 13 14 11 15 16 20 21 17 18 19 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 26 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 22 23 24 25 27 28 22 23 24 25 26 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 27 28 THE ONE DAY LEFT OVER IS Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat NYD 2 34 89 5 6 7 1 2 1 23 4 5 6 7 NEW YEARS DAY. 5 6 7 1 4 1 10 11 12 13 14 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 8 10 11 12 13 14 IT ISN'T A WEEKDAY OR WEEKEND, IT'S MAGIC, AND ON LEAP YEARS IT'S A DOUBLE VACATION DAY 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 15 17 18 19 20 21 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 THE REST IS EASY. IF SOMEONE SAYS, "I'LL SEE YOU ON THE 19TH," YOU KNOW IT'S ON A THURSDAY. Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat 2 3 8 9 2 S 89 10 6 7 1 4 5 2 3 4 5 6 7 1 4 5 67 1 89 10 10 11 12 13 14 11 12 13 14 12 13 14 11 19 20 21 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 15 16 17 18 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT MONTH, IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER WHAT YEAR, IT'S GOING TO BE ON A THURSDAY. Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat 5 6 7 2 3 4 2 3 6 7 2 3 5 6 1 1 4 5 1 4 7 89 10 89 10 CALCULATING IS EASY, PLANNING IS EASY, AND PAYCHECKS COME WHEN YOU EXPECT THEM. 8 9 10 12 13 14 11 13 14 11 12 13 14 11 12 20 21 15 16 17 18 19 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 XERHINO Programmers nightmare
Magic, Vacation, and Sunday: PROPOSED NEW STANDARD YEAR
 13 EQUAL SIZED MONTHS
 (28 days x 13 months = 364, +1 = 365)
 THE FIRST DAY OF THE MONTH IS ALWAYS A SUNDAY
 THE LAST DAY OF THE MONTH IS ALWAYS A SATURDAY
 Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
 Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
 Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
 Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
 2 3 4 5 6 7
 89
 4 5 67
 1 23
 8 9
 4
 5 6 7
 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
 2
 3
 1
 1
 9 10
 10
 11
 12
 13 14
 10
 11
 12
 13 14
 8
 12 13
 14
 8
 10
 11
 12
 13
 14
 11
 15 16
 20 21
 17
 18
 19
 15
 16
 17
 18
 19 20 21
 15
 16
 17
 18
 19
 20
 21
 15
 16
 17
 18
 19
 20 21
 26
 22
 23
 24
 25
 26
 27
 28
 22
 23
 24
 25
 27
 28
 22
 23
 24
 25
 26
 22
 23
 24
 25
 26
 27 28
 27 28
 THE ONE DAY LEFT OVER IS
 Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
 Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
 Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
 NYD
 2 34
 89
 5 6 7
 1 2
 1 23
 4 5 6 7
 NEW YEARS DAY.
 5 6 7
 1
 4
 1
 10
 11
 12 13
 14
 8
 9
 10
 11
 12 13
 14
 8
 10
 11
 12
 13 14
 IT ISN'T A WEEKDAY OR WEEKEND,
 IT'S MAGIC, AND ON LEAP YEARS
 IT'S A DOUBLE VACATION DAY
 15
 16
 17
 18
 19
 20
 21
 15
 17
 18
 19 20 21
 15
 16
 17
 18
 19
 20 21
 22
 23
 24
 25
 26 27 28
 22
 23
 24
 25
 26
 27 28
 22
 23
 24
 25
 26
 27 28
 THE REST IS EASY. IF SOMEONE SAYS,
 "I'LL SEE YOU ON THE 19TH," YOU
 KNOW IT'S ON A THURSDAY.
 Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
 Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
 Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
 2 3
 8 9
 2 S
 89 10
 6 7
 1
 4
 5
 2
 3
 4
 5 6 7
 1
 4
 5 67
 1
 89 10
 10
 11
 12 13
 14
 11
 12 13 14
 12
 13
 14
 11
 19 20 21
 15
 16
 17
 18
 19
 20 21
 15
 16
 17
 18
 15
 16
 17
 18
 19
 20 21
 22
 23
 24
 25
 26 27 28
 22
 23
 24
 25
 26
 27
 28
 22
 23
 24
 25
 26
 27
 28
 IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT MONTH,
 IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER WHAT YEAR,
 IT'S GOING TO BE ON A THURSDAY.
 Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
 Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
 Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
 5 6 7
 2
 3
 4
 2
 3
 6 7
 2
 3
 5
 6
 1
 1
 4
 5
 1
 4
 7
 89 10
 89 10
 CALCULATING IS EASY, PLANNING IS
 EASY, AND PAYCHECKS COME WHEN
 YOU EXPECT THEM.
 8 9 10
 12
 13 14
 11
 13 14
 11
 12 13 14
 11
 12
 20 21
 15
 16
 17
 18
 19
 15
 16
 17
 18
 19 20 21
 15
 16
 17
 18
 19
 20 21
 22
 23
 24
 25
 26
 27 28
 22
 23
 24
 25
 26
 27 28
 22
 23
 24
 25
 26
 27 28
 XERHINO
Programmers nightmare

Programmers nightmare

Alive, America, and Asian: did you know? Photographer Diana Kim, whose father abandoned her when she was 5, wanted to document the lives of the homeless. Searching for subjects on the streets, she came upon a thin and distant man in rags who looked somewhat familiar. It was her father. By fate or by chance, she'd found him after 25 years. PHOTO: DIANA KIM DIDYOUKNOWBLOG.COM did-you-know: He had schizophrenia. He didn’t recognize her. She did everything she could to connect with him, but he refused treatment, medication, food, or new clothing. Eventually, he said to her: “Diana, I am so sorry for not being in your life. I am so happy that you have a family of your own now. Do better for them… … Don’t worry about me or what everyone says about me. If you want to make me proud and happy, be there for your family the way your mom and I never were. Stop trying to save everyone…just worry about yourself and your family. And don’t forget why I named you Diana, you are the light within the darkness.” So she refused to give up. After suffering a heart attack, he agreed to get help and slowly took control of his own life. One day he suddenly called her to invite her out for coffee. Later that afternoon, she wrote on her blog: “I feel like I just met my father for the first time today.” “I struggled to reconcile my feelings toward my father’s absence in my life, while continuing to care deeply for him and other homeless individuals.” “Over time, I learned to navigate through my feelings of desperation and became more vocal in my community about my father’s condition and what it’s like to watch a loved one battle mental illness.” He is now doing very well, and they are rebuilding their relationship from the ground up. “So long as we are alive in this world, every day is an opportunity to take hold of that ‘second chance.’ There is no failure unless you give up, and he never gave up. And I haven’t given up on him.” Source
Alive, America, and Asian: did you know?
 Photographer Diana Kim, whose
 father abandoned her when she
 was 5, wanted to document the
 lives of the homeless. Searching
 for subjects on the streets, she
 came upon a thin and distant man
 in rags who looked somewhat familiar.
 It was her father. By fate or by chance,
 she'd found him after 25 years.
 PHOTO: DIANA KIM
 DIDYOUKNOWBLOG.COM
did-you-know:


He had schizophrenia. He didn’t recognize her. She did everything she could to connect with him, but he refused treatment, medication, food, or new clothing.


Eventually, he said to her: “Diana, I am so sorry for not being in your life. I am so happy that you have a family of your own now. Do better for them…
… Don’t worry about me or what everyone says about me. If you want to make me proud and happy, be there for your family the way your mom and I never were. Stop trying to save everyone…just worry about yourself and your family. And don’t forget why I named you Diana, you are the light within the darkness.” So she refused to give up.
After suffering a heart attack, he agreed to get help and slowly took control of his own life.
One day he suddenly called her to invite her out for coffee. Later that afternoon, she wrote on her blog: “I feel like I just met my father for the first time today.”
“I struggled to reconcile my feelings toward my father’s absence in my life, while continuing to care deeply for him and other homeless individuals.”
“Over time, I learned to navigate through my feelings of desperation and became more vocal in my community about my father’s condition and what it’s like to watch a loved one battle mental illness.”
He is now doing very well, and they are rebuilding their relationship from the ground up. “So long as we are alive in this world, every day is an opportunity to take hold of that ‘second chance.’ There is no failure unless you give up, and he never gave up. And I haven’t given up on him.”
Source

did-you-know: He had schizophrenia. He didn’t recognize her. She did everything she could to connect with him, but he refused treatment, m...

Ass, Bitch, and Fucking: vialsofbrightforgettingpowders ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN sO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH. NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITHA BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED of only they taught beauty class like this Best description of sugar scrub ever.
Ass, Bitch, and Fucking: vialsofbrightforgettingpowders
 ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN
 SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR
 NOTEPAD
 THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW
 YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I
 KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE
 FUCKERS
 YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT
 YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN
 THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM
 TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A
 NEWBORN
 sO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND
 SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND
 MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART
 OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL
 BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO
 SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL
 THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR
 MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU
 WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM
 SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH.
 NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED
 PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITHA BUBBLE
 BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND
 SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS
 VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE
 NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND
 SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A
 HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER
 THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near
 your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really
 important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way
 its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR
 HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS
 WORKING
 NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU
 HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN
 EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN
 BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF
 BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE
 GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT
 WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF
 YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS
 CLASS DISMISSED
 of only they taught beauty class like this
Best description of sugar scrub ever.

Best description of sugar scrub ever.