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Comfortable, Dude, and Dumb: Insomnia Adventures u/Oceanundertow Be me, sleep deprived DM, half an hour ago Get startled by phone ringing It's one of my players Me: "Dude, it's midnight, you good?" Friend: "Yeah yeah, sorry if I woke you. Could I ask for a favor?" OhGodHeKilledSomeone.gif Me: "Uh, sure? Shoot." Friend: "My daughter can't sleep, could you tell a quick story over speakerphone? She loves listening to the recordings of our sessions before bed, but I left my laptop at the office so I can't play them." NaniTheFuck.mp3 Me: "She listens to us to fall asleep?" Friend: "Yeah, but she really likes your plot and NPC acting bits. She calls you 'dumb dumb mister. Guess Dungeon Master is a bit hard for a preschooler." Me: "Wow...well, if it will help her sleep, then sure." Friend: "Thank you! Okay, give me a sec to head back to her room." (pause) "Okay, you're on speaker." Me: "Hey, [daughters name], it's uncle Anon." Daughter: (Happy gasp) "Dumb dumb Mister!" I'veNeverBeenHappierToBeCalledADumbDumb.jpg Me: "You ready for a story about...(DM IMPROV SKILLS ENGAGE)..the time your daddy and his friends went deep into a cursed temple to save a frost dragon egg?" Daughter: (Incomprehensible happy squealing noises) I then proceed to spend nearly 20 min spitballing a story over the phone for the most fascinated little girl until she eventually fell asleep. Friend thanks me for the help and says he'll see me on game night. Lay down in bed, actually feel content and comfortable for once. I should have thanked him I am the dumb dumb mister. positive-memes:Bed time stories
Comfortable, Dude, and Dumb: Insomnia Adventures
 u/Oceanundertow
 Be me, sleep deprived DM, half an hour ago
 Get startled by phone ringing
 It's one of my players
 Me: "Dude, it's midnight, you good?"
 Friend: "Yeah yeah, sorry if I woke you. Could I ask for a
 favor?"
 OhGodHeKilledSomeone.gif
 Me: "Uh, sure? Shoot."
 Friend: "My daughter can't sleep, could you tell a quick
 story over speakerphone? She loves listening to the
 recordings of our sessions before bed, but I left my
 laptop at the office so I can't play them."
 NaniTheFuck.mp3
 Me: "She listens to us to fall asleep?"
 Friend: "Yeah, but she really likes your plot and NPC
 acting bits. She calls you 'dumb dumb mister. Guess
 Dungeon Master is a bit hard for a preschooler."
 Me: "Wow...well, if it will help her sleep, then sure."
 Friend: "Thank you! Okay, give me a sec to head back to
 her room." (pause) "Okay, you're on speaker."
 Me: "Hey, [daughters name], it's uncle Anon."
 Daughter: (Happy gasp) "Dumb dumb Mister!"
 I'veNeverBeenHappierToBeCalledADumbDumb.jpg
 Me: "You ready for a story about...(DM IMPROV SKILLS
 ENGAGE)..the time your daddy and his friends went
 deep into a cursed temple to save a frost dragon egg?"
 Daughter: (Incomprehensible happy squealing noises)
 I then proceed to spend nearly 20 min spitballing a story
 over the phone for the most fascinated little girl until she
 eventually fell asleep. Friend thanks me for the help and
 says he'll see me on game night.
 Lay down in bed, actually feel content and comfortable
 for once. I should have thanked him
 I am the dumb dumb mister.
positive-memes:Bed time stories

positive-memes:Bed time stories

Comfortable, Dude, and Dumb: Insomnia Adventures u/Oceanundertow Be me, sleep deprived DM, half an hour ago Get startled by phone ringing It's one of my players Me: "Dude, it's midnight, you good?" Friend: "Yeah yeah, sorry if I woke you. Could I ask for a favor?" OhGodHeKilledSomeone.gif Me: "Uh, sure? Shoot." Friend: "My daughter can't sleep, could you tell a quick story over speakerphone? She loves listening to the recordings of our sessions before bed, but I left my laptop at the office so I can't play them. NaniTheFuck.mp3 Me: "She listens to us to fall asleep? Friend: "Yeah, but she really likes your plot and NPC acting bits. She calls you 'dumb dumb mister. Guess Dungeon Master is a bit hard for a preschooler." Me: "Wow...well, if it will help her sleep, then sure." Friend: "Thank you! Okay, give me a sec to head back to her room." (pause) "Okay, you're on speaker." Me: "Hey, [daughters name], it's uncle Anon." Daughter: (Happy gasp) "Dumb dumb Mister!" I'veNeverBeenHappierToBeCalledADumbDumb.jpg Me: "You ready for a story about...(DM IMPROV SKILLS ENGAGE)..the time your daddy and his friends went deep into a cursed temple to save a frost dragon egg? Daughter: (Incomprehensible happy squealing noises) I then proceed to spend nearly 20 min spitballing a story over the phone for the most fascinated little girl until she eventually fell asleep. Friend thanks me for the help and says he'll see me on game night. Lay down in bed, actually feel content and comfortable for once. I should have thanked him I am the dumb dumb mister
Comfortable, Dude, and Dumb: Insomnia Adventures
 u/Oceanundertow
 Be me, sleep deprived DM, half an hour ago
 Get startled by phone ringing
 It's one of my players
 Me: "Dude, it's midnight, you good?"
 Friend: "Yeah yeah, sorry if I woke you. Could I ask for a
 favor?"
 OhGodHeKilledSomeone.gif
 Me: "Uh, sure? Shoot."
 Friend: "My daughter can't sleep, could you tell a quick
 story over speakerphone? She loves listening to the
 recordings of our sessions before bed, but I left my
 laptop at the office so I can't play them.
 NaniTheFuck.mp3
 Me: "She listens to us to fall asleep?
 Friend: "Yeah, but she really likes your plot and NPC
 acting bits. She calls you 'dumb dumb mister. Guess
 Dungeon Master is a bit hard for a preschooler."
 Me: "Wow...well, if it will help her sleep, then sure."
 Friend: "Thank you! Okay, give me a sec to head back to
 her room." (pause) "Okay, you're on speaker."
 Me: "Hey, [daughters name], it's uncle Anon."
 Daughter: (Happy gasp) "Dumb dumb Mister!"
 I'veNeverBeenHappierToBeCalledADumbDumb.jpg
 Me: "You ready for a story about...(DM IMPROV SKILLS
 ENGAGE)..the time your daddy and his friends went
 deep into a cursed temple to save a frost dragon egg?
 Daughter: (Incomprehensible happy squealing noises)
 I then proceed to spend nearly 20 min spitballing a story
 over the phone for the most fascinated little girl until she
 eventually fell asleep. Friend thanks me for the help and
 says he'll see me on game night.
 Lay down in bed, actually feel content and comfortable
 for once. I should have thanked him
 I am the dumb dumb mister
Comfortable, Dude, and Dumb: Insomnia Adventures u/Oceanundertow Be me, sleep deprived DM, half an hour ago Get startled by phone ringing It's one of my players Me: "Dude, it's midnight, you good?" Friend: "Yeah yeah, sorry if I woke you. Could I ask for a favor?" OhGodHeKilledSomeone.gif Me: "Uh, sure? Shoot." Friend: "My daughter can't sleep, could you tell a quick story over speakerphone? She loves listening to the recordings of our sessions before bed, but I left my laptop at the office so I can't play them." NaniTheFuck.mp3 Me: "She listens to us to fall asleep?" Friend: "Yeah, but she really likes your plot and NPC acting bits. She calls you 'dumb dumb mister. Guess Dungeon Master is a bit hard for a preschooler." Me: "Wow...well, if it will help her sleep, then sure." Friend: "Thank you! Okay, give me a sec to head back to her room." (pause) "Okay, you're on speaker." Me: "Hey, [daughters name], it's uncle Anon." Daughter: (Happy gasp) "Dumb dumb Mister!" I'veNeverBeenHappierToBeCalledADumbDumb.jpg Me: "You ready for a story about...(DM IMPROV SKILLS ENGAGE)..the time your daddy and his friends went deep into a cursed temple to save a frost dragon egg?" Daughter: (Incomprehensible happy squealing noises) I then proceed to spend nearly 20 min spitballing a story over the phone for the most fascinated little girl until she eventually fell asleep. Friend thanks me for the help and says he'll see me on game night. Lay down in bed, actually feel content and comfortable for once. I should have thanked him I am the dumb dumb mister. Bed time stories
Comfortable, Dude, and Dumb: Insomnia Adventures
 u/Oceanundertow
 Be me, sleep deprived DM, half an hour ago
 Get startled by phone ringing
 It's one of my players
 Me: "Dude, it's midnight, you good?"
 Friend: "Yeah yeah, sorry if I woke you. Could I ask for a
 favor?"
 OhGodHeKilledSomeone.gif
 Me: "Uh, sure? Shoot."
 Friend: "My daughter can't sleep, could you tell a quick
 story over speakerphone? She loves listening to the
 recordings of our sessions before bed, but I left my
 laptop at the office so I can't play them."
 NaniTheFuck.mp3
 Me: "She listens to us to fall asleep?"
 Friend: "Yeah, but she really likes your plot and NPC
 acting bits. She calls you 'dumb dumb mister. Guess
 Dungeon Master is a bit hard for a preschooler."
 Me: "Wow...well, if it will help her sleep, then sure."
 Friend: "Thank you! Okay, give me a sec to head back to
 her room." (pause) "Okay, you're on speaker."
 Me: "Hey, [daughters name], it's uncle Anon."
 Daughter: (Happy gasp) "Dumb dumb Mister!"
 I'veNeverBeenHappierToBeCalledADumbDumb.jpg
 Me: "You ready for a story about...(DM IMPROV SKILLS
 ENGAGE)..the time your daddy and his friends went
 deep into a cursed temple to save a frost dragon egg?"
 Daughter: (Incomprehensible happy squealing noises)
 I then proceed to spend nearly 20 min spitballing a story
 over the phone for the most fascinated little girl until she
 eventually fell asleep. Friend thanks me for the help and
 says he'll see me on game night.
 Lay down in bed, actually feel content and comfortable
 for once. I should have thanked him
 I am the dumb dumb mister.
Bed time stories

Bed time stories

Cars, Facebook, and Police: Police rush in after man heard screaming I'm going to kill you'; discover noise caused by him attacking spider Sydney police say a man was left "quite embarrassed" after several neighbours mistook his efforts to kill a spider for a domestic violence incident. Around 2am on Sunday several police cars rushed to an apartment in the hysterically, a man yelling, "I'm going to kill you, you're dead", and furniture being thrown. A man police described as "out of breath and rather flushed" answered the door and the local area command's Facebook page documented the exchange that followed. "Where's your wife?" an officer asked. "I don't have one," the man replied "Where's your girlfriend?" he pressed. "I don't have one," he said. Police told the man neighbours had heard the screams, the threats to kill, the dull thud of flung furniture. "Come on mate, what have you done to her?" the officer asked. "It was a spider," the man replied sheepishly. "A really big one. "What about the woman screaming?" "Yeah sorry, that was me," he said. "I really, really hate spiders." was down to the man frantically chasing the spider around his apartment with a can of insect spray, police said. They inspected the unit just to be sure, finding nobody injured. "Other than the spider," officers added natitheking20: alsoapun: fadetouched: “What about the woman screaming?” “Yeah sorry, that was me,” he said. “I really, really hate spiders.” @natitheking20 @casualsarcastic @vazisdis @senpai-rekt print this on my grave pls i didnt know im australian
Cars, Facebook, and Police: Police rush in after man heard
 screaming I'm going to kill you';
 discover noise caused by him attacking
 spider

 Sydney police say a man was left "quite embarrassed" after several neighbours
 mistook his efforts to kill a spider for a domestic violence incident.
 Around 2am on Sunday several police cars rushed to an apartment in the
 hysterically, a man yelling, "I'm going to kill you, you're dead", and furniture
 being thrown.
 A man police described as "out of breath and rather flushed" answered the door
 and the local area command's Facebook page documented the exchange that
 followed.
 "Where's your wife?" an officer asked.
 "I don't have one," the man replied
 "Where's your girlfriend?" he pressed.
 "I don't have one," he said.

 Police told the man neighbours had heard the screams, the threats to kill, the dull
 thud of flung furniture. "Come on mate, what have you done to her?" the officer
 asked.
 "It was a spider," the man replied sheepishly. "A really big one.
 "What about the woman screaming?"
 "Yeah sorry, that was me," he said. "I really, really hate spiders."
 was down to the man frantically chasing the spider around his
 apartment with a can of insect spray, police said.
 They inspected the unit just to be sure, finding nobody injured. "Other than the
 spider," officers added
natitheking20:

alsoapun:
fadetouched:


“What about the woman screaming?”
“Yeah sorry, that was me,” he said. “I really, really hate spiders.”



@natitheking20 @casualsarcastic @vazisdis @senpai-rekt print this on my grave pls
i didnt know im australian

natitheking20: alsoapun: fadetouched: “What about the woman screaming?” “Yeah sorry, that was me,” he said. “I really, really hate spider...

Beautiful, Bodies , and Books: Marching for Life, Mother Teresa, and Mrs. Clinto t1 SEAN FITZPATRICK "Why do you think we haven't had a woman as president yet"Fist Lad Hillary Rodham Clinton asked her guest over their lunch at the White House The little woman sitting at table with Mrs. Clinton did not hesitate in her reply "Because she has probably been aborted," said Mother Teresa prochoice-or-gtfo: prochoice-or-gtfo: egalitarianaquagirl: prochoice-or-gtfo: cissypc: #Repost @catholic_truth with @repostapp ・・・ “Why do you think we haven’t had a woman as president yet?” First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton asked her guest over their lunch at the White House. — The little woman sitting at table with Mrs. Clinton did not hesitate in her reply. — “Because she has probably been aborted,” said Mother Teresa. — Read what took place 22 years ago on January 22, 1994 at the National Prayer Breakfast. The keynote speaker was Mother Teresa. Before President and First Lady Clinton, Mother Teresa spoke about the cultural corruption that arises out of crimes against the unborn. The article found here👉🏼👉🏼👉🏼www.crisismagazine.com/2016/marching-for-life-mother-teresa-and-mrs-clinton Mother Teresa was such fucking trash.-V That is so untrue. I disagree with Teresa about Abortion, but she wasn’t trash at all. Let’s play a fun game called “everything you know about Mother Teresa is shit.”She baptized Hindu and Muslim people on their death beds, regardless of their wishes.She supported Haitian dictator Jean-Claude Duvalier and his family, who ran Haiti as a police state, who she said “loved their poor” even when he had stolen tens of millions of dollars from them. She was friends with Charles Keating, a Catholic fundamentalist who was convicted of fraud, racketeering and conspiracy for his involvement in a scam where customers were deceived into buying worthless junk bonds, resulting in many of them losing their life savings. Even though she renounced money, Keating donated $1.25 million to her in the 80′s, and she wrote a letter to the court on his behalf asking for clemency. The prosecuting attorney wrote her back, encouraging her to return the money as it was stolen, but she never replied.When the International Health Organization honoured Teresa in 1989, she spoke at length against abortion and contraception and called AIDS a “just retribution for improper sexual conduct”. Similarly, when Teresa was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1979, she proclaimed in her acceptance speech that abortion was the greatest threat to peace in the world. In 1992, she appeared at an open-air Mass in Ireland and said, “Let us promise Our Lady who loves Ireland so much that we will never allow in this country a single abortion. And no contraceptives.” She also campaigned in Ireland to oppose the successful 1995 referendum to legalize divorce in that predominantly Catholic country.Only 7% of the funds donated to her went to her were used for charity. The rest were funnelled into secret bank accounts or used to build more missions. There are reports of unruly children being strapped to beds and being beaten. Outdated equipment was not replaced. Needles were reused, even in areas with high HIV transmission rates like Haiti, until they were so blunt that they caused pain. Many sisters and volunteers at her Home for Dying Destitutes in Calcutta had no medical training and were required to make important patient care decisions due to the lack of doctors. Her order did not distinguish between curable and incurable patients, meaning that people who could otherwise survive were at risk of dying from infections and a lack of treatment. Some facilities lacked strong analgesics, and needles were rinsed in warm water, leaving them inadequately sterilised. Patients with tuberculosis were not quarantined. Some missions wouldn’t buy food for the people who needed their help, relying instead solely on donated food. The first home that she set up had a mortality rate of 40%.The motivations of her charity work are questionable. None of the eight facilities run by the Missionaries of Charity in Papua New Guinea have any residents in them, and are solely there for the purpose of converting local people to Catholicism. At a 1981 press conference, she was asked: “Do you teach the poor to endure their lot?” She replied, “I think it is very beautiful for the poor to accept their lot, to share it with the passion of Christ. I think the world is being much helped by the suffering of the poor people.”In 2013, in a comprehensive review covering 96% of the literature on Mother Teresa, a group of Université de Montréal academics reinforced the foregoing criticism, detailing, among other issues, the missionary’s practice of “caring for the sick by glorifying their suffering instead of relieving it, … her questionable political contacts, her suspicious management of the enormous sums of money she received, and her overly dogmatic views regarding, in particular, abortion, contraception, and divorce”. Questioning the Vatican’s motivations for ignoring the mass of criticism, the study concluded that Mother Teresa’s “hallowed image—which does not stand up to analysis of the facts—was constructed, and that her beatification was orchestrated by an effective media relations campaign engineered by the anti-abortion BBC journalist Malcolm Muggeridge.Historian Vijay Prashad wrote, “Mother Teresa is the quintessential image of the white woman in the colonies, working to save the dark bodies from their own temptations and failures. […] The Euro-American-dominated international media continue to harbor the colonial notion that white peoples are somehow especially endowed with the capacity to create social change. When nonwhite people labor in this direction, the media typically search for white benefactors or teachers, or else, for white people who stand in the wings to direct the nonwhite actors. Dark bodies cannot act of their own volition to stretch their own capacity, for they must wait, the media seem to imply, for some colonial administrator, some technocrat from IBM or the IMF to tell them how to do things. When it comes to saving the poor, the dark bodies are again invisible, for the media seem to celebrate only the worn out platitudes of such as Mother Teresa and ignore the struggles of those bodies for their own liberation. To open the life of someone like Mother Teresa to scrutiny, therefore, is always difficult. […] Mother Teresa’s work was part of a global enterprise for the alleviation of bourgeois guilt, rather than a genuine challenge to those forces that produce and maintain poverty.”So yeah, sorry. I’m going to call trash trash when I see it.-V Reblogging in case anyone wants to read about what Mother Teresa really did.-V Drag that prune! And lmao @ Catholics for making her a saint lmao omg
Beautiful, Bodies , and Books: Marching for Life, Mother Teresa, and Mrs. Clinto t1
 SEAN FITZPATRICK
 "Why do you think we haven't had a woman as president yet"Fist Lad
 Hillary Rodham Clinton asked her guest over their lunch at the White
 House
 The little woman sitting at table with Mrs. Clinton did not hesitate in her
 reply
 "Because she has probably been aborted," said Mother Teresa
prochoice-or-gtfo:

prochoice-or-gtfo:

egalitarianaquagirl:

prochoice-or-gtfo:

cissypc:

#Repost @catholic_truth with @repostapp
・・・
“Why do you think we haven’t had a woman as president yet?” First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton asked her guest over their lunch at the White House.
—
The little woman sitting at table with Mrs. Clinton did not hesitate in her reply.
—
“Because she has probably been aborted,” said Mother Teresa.
—
Read what took place 22 years ago on January 22, 1994 at the National Prayer Breakfast. The keynote speaker was Mother Teresa. Before President and First Lady Clinton, Mother Teresa spoke about the cultural corruption that arises out of crimes against the unborn. The article found here👉🏼👉🏼👉🏼www.crisismagazine.com/2016/marching-for-life-mother-teresa-and-mrs-clinton

Mother Teresa was such fucking trash.-V

That is so untrue. I disagree with Teresa about Abortion, but she wasn’t trash at all.

Let’s play a fun game called “everything you know about Mother Teresa is shit.”She baptized Hindu and Muslim people on their death beds, regardless of their wishes.She supported Haitian dictator Jean-Claude Duvalier and his family, who ran Haiti as a police state, who she said “loved their poor” even when he had stolen tens of millions of dollars from them. She was friends with Charles Keating, a Catholic fundamentalist who was convicted of fraud, racketeering and conspiracy for his involvement in a scam where customers were deceived into buying worthless junk bonds, resulting in many of them losing their life savings. Even though she renounced money, Keating donated $1.25 million to her in the 80′s, and she wrote a letter to the court on his behalf asking for clemency. The prosecuting attorney wrote her back, encouraging her to return the money as it was stolen, but she never replied.When the International Health Organization honoured Teresa in 1989, she spoke at length against abortion and contraception and called AIDS a “just retribution for improper sexual conduct”. Similarly, when Teresa was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1979, she proclaimed in her acceptance speech that abortion was the greatest threat to peace in the world. In 1992, she appeared at an open-air Mass in Ireland and said, “Let us promise Our Lady who loves Ireland so much that we will never allow in this country a single abortion. And no contraceptives.” She also campaigned in Ireland to oppose the successful 1995 referendum to legalize divorce in that predominantly Catholic country.Only 7% of the funds donated to her went to her were used for charity. The rest were funnelled into secret bank accounts or used to build more missions. There are reports of unruly children being strapped to beds and being beaten. Outdated equipment was not replaced. Needles were reused, even in areas with high HIV transmission rates like Haiti, until they were so blunt that they caused pain. Many sisters and volunteers at her Home for Dying Destitutes in Calcutta had no medical training and were required to make important patient care decisions due to the lack of doctors. Her order did not distinguish between curable and incurable patients, meaning that people who could otherwise survive were at risk of dying from infections and a lack of treatment. Some facilities lacked strong analgesics, and needles were rinsed in warm water, leaving them inadequately sterilised. Patients with tuberculosis were not quarantined. Some missions wouldn’t buy food for the people who needed their help, relying instead solely on donated food. The first home that she set up had a mortality rate of 40%.The motivations of her charity work are questionable. None of the eight facilities run by the Missionaries of Charity in Papua New Guinea have any residents in them, and are solely there for the purpose of converting local people to Catholicism. At a 1981 press conference, she was asked: “Do you teach the poor to endure their lot?” She replied, “I think it is very beautiful for the poor to accept their lot, to share it with the passion of Christ. I think the world is being much helped by the suffering of the poor people.”In 2013, in a comprehensive review covering 96% of the literature on Mother Teresa, a group of Université de Montréal academics reinforced the foregoing criticism, detailing, among other issues, the missionary’s practice of “caring for the sick by glorifying their suffering instead of relieving it, … her questionable political contacts, her suspicious management of the enormous sums of money she received, and her overly dogmatic views regarding, in particular, abortion, contraception, and divorce”. Questioning the Vatican’s motivations for ignoring the mass of criticism, the study concluded that Mother Teresa’s “hallowed image—which does not stand up to analysis of the facts—was constructed, and that her beatification was orchestrated by an effective media relations campaign engineered by the anti-abortion BBC journalist Malcolm Muggeridge.Historian Vijay Prashad wrote, “Mother Teresa is the quintessential image of the white woman in the colonies, working to save the dark bodies from their own temptations and failures. […] The Euro-American-dominated international media continue to harbor the colonial notion that white peoples are somehow especially endowed with the capacity to create social change. When nonwhite people labor in this direction, the media typically search for white benefactors or teachers, or else, for white people who stand in the wings to direct the nonwhite actors. Dark bodies cannot act of their own volition to stretch their own capacity, for they must wait, the media seem to imply, for some colonial administrator, some technocrat from IBM or the IMF to tell them how to do things. When it comes to saving the poor, the dark bodies are again invisible, for the media seem to celebrate only the worn out platitudes of such as Mother Teresa and ignore the struggles of those bodies for their own liberation. To open the life of someone like Mother Teresa to scrutiny, therefore, is always difficult. […] Mother Teresa’s work was part of a global enterprise for the alleviation of bourgeois guilt, rather than a genuine challenge to those forces that produce and maintain poverty.”So yeah, sorry. I’m going to call trash trash when I see it.-V


Reblogging in case anyone wants to read about what Mother Teresa really did.-V

Drag that prune! And lmao @  Catholics for making her a saint lmao omg

prochoice-or-gtfo: prochoice-or-gtfo: egalitarianaquagirl: prochoice-or-gtfo: cissypc: #Repost @catholic_truth with @repostapp ・・・ “Why...