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Welcome To Mcdonalds: tumblr Follow bitchhpunk debrides I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (say bye bus!) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it I'm glad there's a teacher version of accidentally called teacher mom when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people my lord" mugsandpugs1 One time during family prayer, dad began: "our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you? thomrainierskies One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say Welcome to White Castle, what's your crave?) asked, "Welcome to White Castle, what's your problem? She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing mirab3lle Yesterday I went to Wendy's and the girl said "Welcome to McDonalds" and then just sighed Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered please open your books to page eight", and we just kind of stared at each other blinking i work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy - ill ask the same question twice, or say "$2.60 is your total while handing back their change, or say "how are you doing today?" instead of "have a good day! like name it ive bungled it but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said: 'few books are well written, fewer still are important, and this book manages to be both as i handed her the bag i was trying to say thanks, youre all set and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said thanks, youre important there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said she blinked and then said "oh thank youl youre important tool the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his response was "at least you said something NICE. last week i accidentally combined youre welcome and 'no problem into youre a problem" one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, This is why we use our walking feet. we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, yeah, okay, i should've done that." gin-and-eschatonic I've spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexively say shit like "behind and "coming around" as I maneuver through spaces and around people which, actually not such a bad thing. I'm a big guy and can come across as imposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help avoid collisions Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a coming with a knife" while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my Hello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks, Alex narwhalsarefalling i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat if he needed something sugar4ndroses I have woken up in a cold sweat saying is that for here or to go? only-in-movies Conversely, in my old job I rarely answered outside calls so was only used to picking up to colleagues in random ways. So one day while fixing something at a different desk I answered what I thought was an internal call with "how do, I have usurped admin only to realise it was external and a board member on the line The CEO banned me from the phones while trying not to laugh I have worked in a variety of café/restaurant jobs, and in my most recent cafe job people were allowed to bring their leashed dogs through the line with them. One day someone came through the line with an adorable pup, and when the dog looked up at me as I was checking them out, I said "would you like that dog for here or to go? Source debrides 438,007 notes Brain glitch stories
Welcome To Mcdonalds: tumblr
 Follow
 bitchhpunk
 debrides
 I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I
 accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (say bye
 bus!) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it
 I'm glad there's a teacher version of accidentally called teacher mom
 when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call
 people my lord"
 mugsandpugs1
 One time during family prayer, dad began: "our father who art in heaven,
 American Airlines, how can I help you?
 thomrainierskies
 One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was
 supposed to say Welcome to White Castle, what's your crave?)
 asked, "Welcome to White Castle, what's your problem?
 She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing
 mirab3lle
 Yesterday I went to Wendy's and the girl said "Welcome to McDonalds" and then
 just sighed
 Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered
 please open your books to page eight", and we just kind of stared at each other
 blinking
 i work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy - ill ask the same
 question twice, or say "$2.60 is your total while handing back their change, or
 say "how are you doing today?" instead of "have a good day! like name it ive
 bungled it
 but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the
 front said: 'few books are well written, fewer still are important, and this book
 manages to be both
 as i handed her the bag i was trying to say thanks, youre all set and instead my
 brain mashed up the review and i said thanks, youre important
 there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said
 she blinked and then said "oh thank youl youre important tool
 the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his
 response was "at least you said something NICE. last week i accidentally
 combined youre welcome and 'no problem into youre a problem"
 one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on
 my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room
 and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared
 and said, This is why we use our walking feet.
 we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, yeah, okay, i
 should've done that."
 gin-and-eschatonic
 I've spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexively say
 shit like "behind and "coming around" as I maneuver through spaces and
 around people
 which, actually not such a bad thing. I'm a big guy and can
 come across as
 imposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help
 avoid collisions
 Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a coming with a
 knife" while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining
 I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my
 Hello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks,
 Alex
 narwhalsarefalling
 i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my
 legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat
 if he needed something
 sugar4ndroses
 I have woken up in a cold sweat saying is that for here or to go?
 only-in-movies
 Conversely, in my old job I rarely answered outside calls so was only used to
 picking up to colleagues in random ways. So one day while fixing something at a
 different desk I answered what I thought was an internal call with "how do, I have
 usurped admin only to realise it was external and a board member on the line
 The CEO banned me from the phones while trying not to laugh
 I have worked in a variety of café/restaurant jobs, and in my most recent cafe job
 people were allowed to bring their leashed dogs through the line with them.
 One day someone came through the line with an adorable pup, and when the
 dog looked up at me as I was checking them out, I said "would you like that dog
 for here or to go?
 Source debrides
 438,007 notes
Brain glitch stories

Brain glitch stories

Welcome To Mcdonalds: tumblr Follow bitchhpunk debrides I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object(say bye bus) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it autisticcole I'm glad there's a teacher version of accidentally called teacher 'mom when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people my lord One time during family prayer, dad began: our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you? One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say Welcome to White Castle, what's your crave?) asked, "Welcome to White Castle, what's your problem? She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing. Yesterday I went to Wendy's and the girl said "Welcome to McDonalds" and then just sighed Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered please open your books to page eight, and we just kind of stared at each other, blinking work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy -ill ask the same question twice, or say $2.60 is your total" while handing back their change, or say "how are you doing today?" instead of have a good day! like name it ive bungled it but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said: Tew books are well wntten, fewer still are important, and this book manages to be both as i handed her the bag i was trying to say "thanks, youre all set and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said thanks, youre important there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said. she blinked and then said oh thank you! youre important too! the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his response was "at least you said something NICE last week i accidentally combined youre welcome' and 'no problem' into 'youre a problem agrestenoir one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, This is why we use our walking feet we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, yeah, okay, i should ve done that. I've spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexivey say shit like behind" and coming around as I maneuver through spaces and around people. Which, actually, not such a bad thing. I'm a big guy and can come across as mposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help avoid collisions. Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a coming with a knife" while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my Hello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks Alex i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat t he needed something I have woken up in a cold sweat saying is that for here or to go? only-in-movies Conversely, in my old job I rarely answered outside calls so was only used to picking up to colleagues in random ways. So one day while fixing something at a different desk I answered what I thought was an internal call with "how do, I have usurped admin" only to realise it was external and a board member on the line. The CEO banned me from the phones while trying not to laugh. I have worked in a variety of caté/restaurant jobs, and in my most recent cafe job people were allowed to bring their leashed dogs through the line with them. One day someone came through the line with an adorable pup, and when the dog looked up at me as I was checking them out, I said "would you like that dog for here or to go? only-in-movies Conversely, in my old job I rarely answered outside calls so was only used to picking up to colleagues in random ways. So one day while fixing something at a different desk I answered what I thought was an internal call with "how do, I have usurped admin" only to realise it was external and a board member on the line. The CEO banned me from the phones while trying not to laugh I have worked in a variety of caté/restaurant jobs, and in my most recent cafe job people were allowed to bring their leashed dogs through the line with them One day someone came through the line with an adorable pup, and when the dog looked up at me as I was checking them out, I said "would you like that dog for here or to go? Source debrides 438,007 notes Sometimes your brain just glitches
Welcome To Mcdonalds: tumblr
 Follow
 bitchhpunk
 debrides
 I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I
 accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object(say bye
 bus) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it
 autisticcole
 I'm glad there's a teacher version of accidentally called teacher 'mom
 when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call
 people my lord
 One time during family prayer, dad began: our father who art in heaven,
 American Airlines, how can I help you?
 One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was
 supposed to say Welcome to White Castle, what's your crave?)
 asked, "Welcome to White Castle, what's your problem?
 She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing.
 Yesterday I went to Wendy's and the girl said "Welcome to McDonalds" and then
 just sighed
 Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered
 please open your books to page eight, and we just kind of stared at each other,
 blinking
 work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy -ill ask the same
 question twice, or say $2.60 is your total" while handing back their change, or
 say "how are you doing today?" instead of have a good day! like name it ive
 bungled it
 but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the
 front said: Tew books are well wntten, fewer still are important, and this book
 manages to be both
 as i handed her the bag i was trying to say "thanks, youre all set and instead my
 brain mashed up the review and i said thanks, youre important
 there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said.
 she blinked and then said oh thank you! youre important too!
 the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his
 response was "at least you said something NICE last week i accidentally
 combined youre welcome' and 'no problem' into 'youre a problem
 agrestenoir
 one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on
 my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room
 and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared
 and said, This is why we use our walking feet
 we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, yeah, okay, i
 should ve done that.
 I've spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexivey say
 shit like behind" and coming around as I maneuver through spaces and
 around people.
 Which, actually, not such a bad thing. I'm a big guy and can come across as
 mposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help
 avoid collisions.
 Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a coming with a
 knife" while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining
 I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my
 Hello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks
 Alex
 i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my
 legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat
 t he needed something
 I have woken up in a cold sweat saying is that for here or to go?
 only-in-movies
 Conversely, in my old job I rarely answered outside calls so was only used to
 picking up to colleagues in random ways. So one day while fixing something at a
 different desk I answered what I thought was an internal call with "how do, I have
 usurped admin" only to realise it was external and a board member on the line.
 The CEO banned me from the phones while trying not to laugh.
 I have worked in a variety of caté/restaurant jobs, and in my most recent cafe job
 people were allowed to bring their leashed dogs through the line with them.
 One day someone came through the line with an adorable pup, and when the
 dog looked up at me as I was checking them out, I said "would you like that dog
 for here or to go?
 only-in-movies
 Conversely, in my old job I rarely answered outside calls so was only used to
 picking up to colleagues in random ways. So one day while fixing something at a
 different desk I answered what I thought was an internal call with "how do, I have
 usurped admin" only to realise it was external and a board member on the line.
 The CEO banned me from the phones while trying not to laugh
 I have worked in a variety of caté/restaurant jobs, and in my most recent cafe job
 people were allowed to bring their leashed dogs through the line with them
 One day someone came through the line with an adorable pup, and when the
 dog looked up at me as I was checking them out, I said "would you like that dog
 for here or to go?
 Source debrides
 438,007 notes
Sometimes your brain just glitches

Sometimes your brain just glitches

Welcome To Mcdonalds: Employees: We want $15 an hour McDonalds ORDER ORDER HERE HERE TTStoryTime Sorry for no captions. It's the new 🌊 tho - I don't usually like eating fast food but a nigga is starving word to Ethiopia. So I pull into the McDonald's drive thru and wait for the machine to talk. "Hi welcome to McDonald's" "Hi, can I have a large ice cream cone with no cone and no ice cream?" "Ice cream machine broke." "Damn OK. Well in that case can I have a Big Mac and a small drink?" "🅱IG Ma🅱 Ma🅱chine broke." "What? What's a 🅱ig Ma🅱?" "My nigga you don't know what a 🅱ig Ma🅱 is? 😂👋👌💯" "What language are you speaking?' "Sir can you please order there are people behind you." "Ummm okay... Can I just have a large drink?" "Drink machine broke." "Ugh I'm tired of this let me speak to the manager!" "Manager machine broke." At this point I'm so irritated I park my car and walk into the building. "Can I please speak to the person in charge?" I say to cashier. "Person in charge machine broke." I face-palmed and walk out of the door. I went to the trunk of my car and pulled out the M14 I was saving for class tomorrow. When I entered the store again, I pointed the gun at all of the employees. The people behind me screamed and ran. Noone dared move. "Ima give y'all motherfuckers one more chance. Either I talk to who's in charge or I kill all of you. What's it gonna be?" To my left I see a black guy in a wheelchair dressed differently roll towards the register. "Are you the manager?" I ask. He nods. "Why the hell are your employees saying the machines are broken?" He gestures behind him. It was the Ice cream machine with a note on it that read: "Broke" To the right was another machine Id never seen before. "🅱ig Ma🅱 ma🅱hine broke." He said. I looked at his wheelchair. His legs were skinny and lifeless. "Manager machine broke?" I asked. He nodded. "O." I say quietly. I put the gun down and walk out of the store. Suddenly I realized I forgot something. I turn around and say: "What about the Person in charge machine?" "Nigga is you dumb?" All the employees laugh. Little did they know I still had that M14 in my hands 😉
Welcome To Mcdonalds: Employees: We want $15 an hour
 McDonalds
 ORDER
 ORDER
 HERE
 HERE
TTStoryTime Sorry for no captions. It's the new 🌊 tho - I don't usually like eating fast food but a nigga is starving word to Ethiopia. So I pull into the McDonald's drive thru and wait for the machine to talk. "Hi welcome to McDonald's" "Hi, can I have a large ice cream cone with no cone and no ice cream?" "Ice cream machine broke." "Damn OK. Well in that case can I have a Big Mac and a small drink?" "🅱IG Ma🅱 Ma🅱chine broke." "What? What's a 🅱ig Ma🅱?" "My nigga you don't know what a 🅱ig Ma🅱 is? 😂👋👌💯" "What language are you speaking?' "Sir can you please order there are people behind you." "Ummm okay... Can I just have a large drink?" "Drink machine broke." "Ugh I'm tired of this let me speak to the manager!" "Manager machine broke." At this point I'm so irritated I park my car and walk into the building. "Can I please speak to the person in charge?" I say to cashier. "Person in charge machine broke." I face-palmed and walk out of the door. I went to the trunk of my car and pulled out the M14 I was saving for class tomorrow. When I entered the store again, I pointed the gun at all of the employees. The people behind me screamed and ran. Noone dared move. "Ima give y'all motherfuckers one more chance. Either I talk to who's in charge or I kill all of you. What's it gonna be?" To my left I see a black guy in a wheelchair dressed differently roll towards the register. "Are you the manager?" I ask. He nods. "Why the hell are your employees saying the machines are broken?" He gestures behind him. It was the Ice cream machine with a note on it that read: "Broke" To the right was another machine Id never seen before. "🅱ig Ma🅱 ma🅱hine broke." He said. I looked at his wheelchair. His legs were skinny and lifeless. "Manager machine broke?" I asked. He nodded. "O." I say quietly. I put the gun down and walk out of the store. Suddenly I realized I forgot something. I turn around and say: "What about the Person in charge machine?" "Nigga is you dumb?" All the employees laugh. Little did they know I still had that M14 in my hands 😉

TTStoryTime Sorry for no captions. It's the new 🌊 tho - I don't usually like eating fast food but a nigga is starving word to Ethiopia. S...