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Ass, Fall, and Hail Mary: I almost died today. Here is the true story So Iwas derping in my backyard today, picking up dog crap. The whole time, my dog was just sitting there watching me, enjoying the sight. So I go to the small section in between my trampoline and my fence. Now if any of you haven't seen my trampoline, it is really old and there are these black foam things on the bars that used to hold up a net, but they are mostly destroyed now. So I walk in the narrow space, and I get completely covered by the hugest web I've ever felt. All over my face, all over my chest and shoulders. I freak out, but I realize that there is no worries. I see no spider, and it would have to be a big ass spider to concoct such a glorious web. Well, sure enough, in the middle of my struggle to break free, I look up, and slowly, ever so slowly, I see the huge, black-brown mass of a spider about the size of my fist crawl out of some old, decaying foam protectors. I stare at it; it stares back. I look closely for any threads connecting us, and there, glinting back at me with sunlight, is one strand of spider web, connecting the hulk spider to my face. It realizes the fact at the same time as me, and thinks, "Yes! This boy's eye sockets will make excellent breeding holes for my eggs!! and starts a full on crawling sprint towards me. I freak out, and begin to struggle even more and more to release myself from this web. It reaches the halfway mark and sees me begin to escape, so it goes for gold. The Hail Mary play. A daring leap straight for the head. Time slows down. This thing has all legs extended, blocking out the sun. A sure death for me. My left arm breaks free from the web. This could be my chance! A quick and decisive left cross reaches the spider JUST in time knocking the behemoth against the fence. It looks dazed; begins to squirm around on the ground, preparing for a counteroffensive. I don't give it a chance. I take the poop shovel in both my hands, shout a battle cry of pure victorious slaughter and smash my enemy into a crumpled pile, each strike emanating a loud crunch of the monster's body.I emerge the survivor in this battle. Thank you video games, for my improved reaction time, lest I fall victim to fate Unlike Comment Share 3 hours ago you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com epicjohndoe: This Man Should Write A Novel
Ass, Fall, and Hail Mary: I almost died today. Here is the true story
 So Iwas derping in my backyard today, picking up dog crap. The whole
 time, my dog was just sitting there watching me, enjoying the sight. So I
 go to the small section in between my trampoline and my fence. Now if
 any of you haven't seen my trampoline, it is really old and there are
 these black foam things on the bars that used to hold up a net, but they
 are mostly destroyed now. So I walk in the narrow space, and I get
 completely covered by the hugest web I've ever felt. All over my face, all
 over my chest and shoulders. I freak out, but I realize that there is no
 worries. I see no spider, and it would have to be a big ass spider to
 concoct such a glorious web. Well, sure enough, in the middle of my
 struggle to break free, I look up, and slowly, ever so slowly, I see the
 huge, black-brown mass of a spider about the size of my fist crawl out
 of some old, decaying foam protectors. I stare at it; it stares back. I look
 closely for any threads connecting us, and there, glinting back at me
 with sunlight, is one strand of spider web, connecting the hulk spider to
 my face. It realizes the fact at the same time as me, and thinks, "Yes!
 This boy's eye sockets will make excellent breeding holes for my eggs!!
 and starts a full on crawling sprint towards me. I freak out, and begin to
 struggle even more and more to release myself from this web. It
 reaches the halfway mark and sees me begin to escape, so it goes for
 gold. The Hail Mary play. A daring leap straight for the head. Time slows
 down. This thing has all legs extended, blocking out the sun. A sure
 death for me. My left arm breaks free from the web. This could be my
 chance! A quick and decisive left cross reaches the spider JUST in time
 knocking the behemoth against the fence. It looks dazed; begins to
 squirm around on the ground, preparing for a counteroffensive. I don't
 give it a chance. I take the poop shovel in both my hands, shout a battle
 cry of pure victorious slaughter and smash my enemy into a crumpled
 pile, each strike emanating a loud crunch of the monster's body.I
 emerge the survivor in this battle. Thank you video games, for my
 improved reaction time, lest I fall victim to fate
 Unlike Comment Share 3 hours ago
 you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com
epicjohndoe:

This Man Should Write A Novel

epicjohndoe: This Man Should Write A Novel

Future, God, and Tumblr: SO YOu KNOW YOu'RE IN A COMIC BOOK. COMIC BOOK, EVEN AND YOU THINK THAT GIVES YOu SPECIAL PROTECTI N. WHAT? BECAUSE YOU'RE POPULAR? WELL,TVE NEVER HEARD OF YOu. YOuR NAME IS GWEN? GuARANTEE ANYONE WHO DOESN'T READ THIS THINKS YOU'RE GWEN STACY. WA DO YOu KNOW WHO'S HEARD OF MEP вин! EVERYONE. エHAVE HAD HUNDREDS F issuES. DON'T KNOW HOW MANY SERIES. GUEST- APPEAR EVERYWHERE, COMICS VIDEO GAMES. TV SHOWS. AND SO MUCH MERCHANDISE AND NEVER FORGET.. THE HIGHEST- GROSSING R-RATED FILM OF ALL TIME FIRST APPEARED AS A BACKUP IN HOWARD THE DUCK. YOU HOWEVER.. BECAUSE THEY WEREN'T SURE IF ANYONE WOULD LIKE You OH GOD, YOU'RE RIGHT. YOU ARE THE LAST PERSON WHO CAN KILL ME. ANYWAY... IT FEELS FITTING THAT AM THE HAND OF YOUR CANCELATION BYE-BYE, "GWEN" POOLE." IF You'RE SO POWERFUL... WAIT IF YOu KNOW ALL THIS... STUFF... THEN WHY ARE YOL TRAPPED BY ARCADE? WHY ARE YOU JUST PLAYING OUT THIS STORY? RIGHT LAST WORDS GO FOR IT BECAUSE... WE ALL JUST LIVE HERE. DON'T WE? chefpyro: This pause in the fight actually highlights an important difference between Deadpool and Gwenpool. They both acknowledge their existence as comic book characters and utilize their knowledge of the internal rules of their comic book world to their advantage, but Gwen is the only one of the two with the idea to rebel against the Powers That Be, where Deadpool is fine just playing out the story. This difference later on leads into Gwenpool’s rejection of her evil future self, when she knowingly erases her future heel turn so she won’t have to hurt her heroes as a villain. Cool stuff.
nsfw
Future, God, and Tumblr: SO YOu
 KNOW YOu'RE
 IN A COMIC
 BOOK.
 COMIC BOOK, EVEN
 AND YOU THINK THAT
 GIVES YOu SPECIAL
 PROTECTI N. WHAT?
 BECAUSE YOU'RE
 POPULAR?
 WELL,TVE
 NEVER HEARD
 OF YOu.
 YOuR NAME IS
 GWEN? GuARANTEE
 ANYONE WHO DOESN'T READ
 THIS THINKS YOU'RE
 GWEN STACY.
 WA
 DO YOu
 KNOW WHO'S HEARD
 OF MEP
 вин!
 EVERYONE.
 エHAVE
 HAD HUNDREDS F
 issuES. DON'T KNOW
 HOW MANY SERIES. GUEST-
 APPEAR EVERYWHERE, COMICS
 VIDEO GAMES. TV SHOWS.
 AND SO MUCH
 MERCHANDISE
 AND NEVER
 FORGET..
 THE
 HIGHEST-
 GROSSING
 R-RATED FILM
 OF ALL
 TIME
 FIRST
 APPEARED
 AS A BACKUP IN
 HOWARD THE
 DUCK.
 YOU
 HOWEVER..
 BECAUSE
 THEY WEREN'T
 SURE IF ANYONE
 WOULD LIKE
 You
 OH
 GOD, YOU'RE
 RIGHT.
 YOU ARE
 THE LAST
 PERSON WHO
 CAN KILL
 ME.
 ANYWAY...
 IT FEELS
 FITTING THAT AM THE
 HAND OF YOUR CANCELATION
 BYE-BYE, "GWEN"
 POOLE."

 IF You'RE SO
 POWERFUL...
 WAIT
 IF YOu
 KNOW ALL THIS...
 STUFF...
 THEN
 WHY ARE YOL
 TRAPPED BY ARCADE?
 WHY ARE YOU JUST
 PLAYING OUT THIS
 STORY?
 RIGHT
 LAST WORDS
 GO FOR IT
 BECAUSE...
 WE ALL
 JUST LIVE HERE.
 DON'T WE?
chefpyro:

This pause in the fight actually highlights an important difference between Deadpool and Gwenpool.
They both acknowledge their existence as comic book characters and utilize their knowledge of the internal rules of their comic book world to their advantage, but Gwen is the only one of the two with the idea to rebel against the Powers That Be, where Deadpool is fine just playing out the story.
This difference later on leads into Gwenpool’s rejection of her evil future self, when she knowingly erases her future heel turn so she won’t have to hurt her heroes as a villain.
Cool stuff.

chefpyro: This pause in the fight actually highlights an important difference between Deadpool and Gwenpool. They both acknowledge their ex...