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Bad, Batman, and Joker: Thread Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Batman movies and then asked it to write a Batman movie of its own. Here is the first page. BATHAN INT. TRADITIONAL BATCAVE BATMAN stands next to his batmobile and uses hia batcomputer. He'e sometimes Bruce Wayne sometimes Batman. Alltimes orphan BATMAN This is now a safe city. I have punched a penguin into prison ALFRED, Batman's loyal batler, carries a tray of goth ham ALFRED Eat a dinner, Mattress Wayne. An explosion explodes. THE JOKER and TWo-FACE enter the cave Joker is a clown but insane. Two-Face is a man but attorney. BATMAN No! It is Two-Face and One-Face They hate me for being a bat Batman throws Alfred at Two-Face. Two-Face flips Alfred like a coin. Alfred lands heade up which mean8 Two-Face goes home. BATMAN (CONT 'D) It is just you and I, the Joker Bat versus clown. Moral enemies THE JOKER I am such a freak. Society is bad You drink water, I drink anarchy BATMAN I drink bats just like a bat would! Batman looks around for his parents, but they are still dead This makes him have anger. He fires a batrocket. The Joker deflects it with his sick sense of humor. A clownly power. THE JOKER I have never followed a rule. That is my rule. Do you follow? I don't BATMAN Alfred, give birth to Robin Alfred begins the process since it is his job. The Joker now has a present in his hand. He juggles it over to Batman THE JOKER Happy batday, Birthman Batman opens the present since he's a coupon for new parents, but is expired. This is a Joker joke. good guy. It contains a meirl
Bad, Batman, and Joker: Thread
 Keaton Patti
 @KeatonPatti
 I forced a bot to watch over 1,000
 hours of Batman movies and then
 asked it to write a Batman movie
 of its own. Here is the first page.
 BATHAN
 INT. TRADITIONAL BATCAVE
 BATMAN stands next to his batmobile and uses hia batcomputer.
 He'e sometimes Bruce Wayne sometimes Batman. Alltimes orphan
 BATMAN
 This is now a safe city. I have
 punched a penguin into prison
 ALFRED, Batman's loyal batler, carries a tray of goth ham
 ALFRED
 Eat a dinner, Mattress Wayne.
 An explosion explodes. THE JOKER and TWo-FACE enter the cave
 Joker is a clown but insane. Two-Face is a man but attorney.
 BATMAN
 No! It is Two-Face and One-Face
 They hate me for being a bat
 Batman throws Alfred at Two-Face. Two-Face flips Alfred like
 a coin. Alfred lands heade up which mean8 Two-Face goes home.
 BATMAN (CONT 'D)
 It is just you and I, the Joker
 Bat versus clown. Moral enemies
 THE JOKER
 I am such a freak. Society is bad
 You drink water, I drink anarchy
 BATMAN
 I drink bats just like a bat would!
 Batman looks around for his parents, but they are still dead
 This makes him have anger. He fires a batrocket. The Joker
 deflects it with his sick sense of humor. A clownly power.
 THE JOKER
 I have never followed a rule. That
 is my rule. Do you follow? I don't
 BATMAN
 Alfred, give birth to Robin
 Alfred begins the process since it is his job. The Joker now
 has a present in his hand. He juggles it over to Batman
 THE JOKER
 Happy batday, Birthman
 Batman opens the present since he's a
 coupon for new parents, but is expired. This is a Joker joke.
 good guy. It contains a
meirl

meirl

Crazy, Facebook, and Fail: Add Friend A fellow melanated creative recieved this deliberate discouragement in his tumblr inbox...what's crazy is...I can't really say that anonymous is wrong though. #Sad #P0C #WherelsTheSupport Ananymous s... you know ur kickstarter is going to fail, right? tumblr and the rest of the world doesn't care about visual novels featuring black people nearly as much as you seem to think they do. just look at how little notes your little project gets. Like Comment Share EN OF 2AL blackmoonbabe: askhimemiyaanthy: feminismdoneright: I’m going to point out some weird things about @projecttrinity‘s upcoming visual novel “Women of Xal” in relation to this site. 1) It’s an upcoming Kickstarter bound otome game that very obviously is PoC / People of Color WoC/ Women of Color centric. We’ve got a bi female lead with several romancable women. And it’s in a harsh matriarchal society ready to give some brutal parallels to our own. Being helmed by a very capable and snarky Black writer. The two programmers are women. The artists are women. The singers are women. One of the animators is a woman. AND THERE’S TANGIBLE QUALITY TO IT! I thought we’ve been asking for more projects like this for years now. But Tumblr has been the most quiet of the four sites it’s updating on??? (Youtube, Facebook, LemmSoftForums, Tumblr)  2) How are hateful anons finding this project before everyone else? Why are we letting Black creatives feel like the anon has a point about Tumblr not caring? Isn’t this site notorious for propping up content like this? Where are my feminists at?! Like, I truly get it: Most of you will have only just heard of this. And Tumblr didn’t make it easy in the first place. Tags and timing are madly important. But so are reblogs and follows! You’re reading this now - there’s nothing truly stopping you from showing that anon the middle finger. For every time WE DON’T JUST ‘HEART’ A CREATIVE’S POST and reblog/follow their content, we prove hateful anons like this wrong. And every time we prove them wrong, we send an encouraging message to other minorities who want to share their passions with the world, but face that uphill battle. And hey, the writer clearly has faith in this site still: You can find out more about the project here. Or, better yet, follow, and support the team here! (Bonus Note: If you’re someone who has been reblogging a lot of content from this team as well, cheers, fellow sisters! 3) Something unrelated, but, please help support! :)  Tumblr’s pretty good about ignoring black creators, hell alot of black people on tumblr are pretty good about ignoring black creators. Which really goes to show you most of the folks on here are just being performative for good noodle stars and aren’t really about anything.
Crazy, Facebook, and Fail: Add Friend
 A fellow melanated creative recieved this deliberate discouragement in his tumblr
 inbox...what's crazy is...I can't really say that anonymous is wrong though. #Sad
 #P0C #WherelsTheSupport
 Ananymous s...
 you know ur kickstarter is going to fail, right? tumblr and the rest of the world doesn't
 care about visual novels featuring black people nearly as much as you seem to think they
 do. just look at how little notes your little project gets.
 Like
 Comment
 Share

 EN
 OF
 2AL
blackmoonbabe:

askhimemiyaanthy:

feminismdoneright:

I’m going to point out some weird things about @projecttrinity‘s upcoming visual novel “Women of Xal” in relation to this site.
1) It’s an upcoming Kickstarter bound otome game that very obviously is PoC / People of Color  WoC/ Women of Color centric. We’ve got a bi female lead with several romancable women. And it’s in a harsh matriarchal society ready to give some brutal parallels to our own. Being helmed by a very capable and snarky Black writer. The two programmers are women. The artists are women. The singers are women. One of the animators is a woman. AND THERE’S TANGIBLE QUALITY TO IT! I thought we’ve been asking for more projects like this for years now. But Tumblr has been the most quiet of the four sites

it’s updating on???

 (Youtube, Facebook, LemmSoftForums, Tumblr) 
2) How are hateful anons finding this project before everyone else? Why are we letting Black creatives feel like the anon has a point about Tumblr not caring? Isn’t this site notorious for propping up content like this? Where are my feminists at?!
Like, I truly get it: Most of you will have only just heard of this. And Tumblr didn’t make it easy in the first place. Tags and timing are madly important. But so are reblogs and follows! You’re reading this now - there’s nothing truly stopping you from showing that anon the middle finger. For every time WE DON’T JUST ‘HEART’ A CREATIVE’S POST and reblog/follow their content, we prove hateful anons like this wrong. And every time we prove them wrong, we send an encouraging message to other minorities who want to share their passions with the world, but face that uphill battle.
And hey, the writer clearly has faith in this site still:

You can find out more about the project here.
Or, better yet, follow, and support the team here!

(Bonus Note: If you’re someone who has been reblogging a lot of content from this team as well, cheers, fellow sisters! 3)

Something unrelated, but, please help support! :) 

Tumblr’s pretty good about ignoring black creators, hell alot of black people on tumblr are pretty good about ignoring black creators. Which really goes to show you most of the folks on here are just being performative for good noodle stars and aren’t really about anything.

blackmoonbabe: askhimemiyaanthy: feminismdoneright: I’m going to point out some weird things about @projecttrinity‘s upcoming visual nove...

Fucking, Horses, and News: sartorialadventure: captainoftheseaqueen: xcgirl08: shoujofeels: becausetheinternet: A 2500 year old mummy that had some amazing tattoos. WHAT. NO FUCKING WAY. YO HOLD ON.  IT GETS BETTER. This mummy, found in the  Altai mountains of Siberia, is actually that of a young woman who died at about the age of twenty-five; she is thought to have been a member of the Pazyryk tribe. She was buried with six horses and two similarly-tattooed men (the horned griffon that decorates her shoulder also appears on the man buried closest to her, covering most of his right side), possibly escorts. She was also wearing a horse-hair wig, silk, and elaborate boots, which is all a level of ceremony that would have likely only been accorded to a woman of high rank. You didn’t get inked like this unless you were very important, and had worked your way up to that importance.  …Hence, of course, the references to her by researchers as ‘The Ukok Princess,’ although due to the lack of weapons in her grave they have concluded that the woman was in fact a healer or a storyteller.   And now I’m all consumed with curiosity: Who was she? What amazing things did she accomplish? Why these symbols, and what did they mean? Who were the two men alongside her? The most informative article about it can be found here, although I would completely eat up any other information you guys could find.  @blackbearmagic Makes me think of the 5,000-year-old Persian woman they found who was 6 feet tall and had a golden prosthetic eye.
Fucking, Horses, and News: sartorialadventure:
captainoftheseaqueen:

xcgirl08:

shoujofeels:

becausetheinternet:

A 2500 year old mummy that had some amazing tattoos.

WHAT.
NO FUCKING WAY.

YO HOLD ON. 
IT GETS BETTER.
This mummy, found in the  Altai mountains of Siberia, is actually that of a young woman who died at about the age of twenty-five; she is thought to have been a member of the Pazyryk tribe.
She was buried with six horses and two similarly-tattooed men (the horned griffon that decorates her shoulder also appears on the man buried closest to her, covering most of his right side), possibly escorts. She was also wearing a horse-hair wig, silk, and elaborate boots, which is all a level of ceremony that would have likely only been accorded to a woman of high rank. You didn’t get inked like this unless you were very important, and had worked your way up to that importance. 
…Hence, of course, the references to her by researchers as ‘The Ukok Princess,’ although due to the lack of weapons in her grave they have concluded that the woman was in fact a healer or a storyteller.  
And now I’m all consumed with curiosity: Who was she? What amazing things did she accomplish? Why these symbols, and what did they mean? Who were the two men alongside her?
The most informative article about it can be found here, although I would completely eat up any other information you guys could find. 


@blackbearmagic

Makes me think of the 5,000-year-old Persian woman they found who was 6 feet tall and had a golden prosthetic eye.

sartorialadventure: captainoftheseaqueen: xcgirl08: shoujofeels: becausetheinternet: A 2500 year old mummy that had some amazing tattoos...

Funny, God, and Head: jumpingjacktrash: arrghigiveup: cimness: China's netizens are all in a twitter over the account of a carpenter who was commissioned to make a cinnabar red high-backed chair with the finials at the top to be "in the shape of dragons' heads" (chéng lóngtóu Unfortunately, he misinterpreted the directions to mean "lin the shape ofl Jackie Chan's head" ("Chénglóng tóu ) (via Language Log Reanalysis, Jackie Chan edition) LMAO ok so to elaborate on this absolute gem, notice how the characters provided for "in the shape of dragons' heads" and "lin the shape of Jackie Chan's head" are identical? That wasn't a typo The thing you need to understand about Chinese names is that they all have meaning. And I don't mean that in the sense of "if you trace the etymology back through two languages it has its roots in a Hebrew phrase that means "God is my " that many Western names have. I mean that in the sense of "almost all of these words are still in regular use today and my parents very literally named me "pretty [and] wise" in Chinese. (Sidenote: This is why we get annoyed at made up 'Chinese' names that just pull two random vaguely Chinese-sounding syllables together. It is blindingly obvious when it's not a real name). (chéng) means "to become", "to turn into" L (lóng) is "dragon". Thus, Jackie Chan's Chinese stage name, (Chénglóng), literally means "become dragon". ((tóu), of course, means "head") (Further sidenote: This is actually a bit of a pun/reference. Specifically, it is a reference to Bruce Lee, whose stage name was (Xiãolóng), or, "Little dragon". So Jackie's chosen stage name means both "become dragon", and "become [like] Bruce Lee") The other thing you need to know about Chinese is that we don't put spaces between terms in written text. What all this means is that the way you'd write "Icarvel into dragon heads" can be identical to the way you'd write "Icarvel Jackie Chan's head", and literally the only difference would be where you pause when you vocalise it: before lóngtóu, or after chénglóng. XD i think the chair turned out great 25 Funny Tumblr Posts to Make You Laughing Today
Funny, God, and Head: jumpingjacktrash:
 arrghigiveup:
 cimness:
 China's netizens are all in a twitter over the
 account of a carpenter who was
 commissioned to make a cinnabar red
 high-backed chair with the finials at the
 top to be "in the shape of dragons' heads"
 (chéng lóngtóu Unfortunately, he
 misinterpreted the directions to mean "lin
 the shape ofl Jackie Chan's head"
 ("Chénglóng tóu )
 (via Language Log
 Reanalysis, Jackie Chan
 edition)
 LMAO ok so to elaborate on this absolute gem,
 notice how the characters provided for "in the
 shape of dragons' heads" and "lin the shape of
 Jackie Chan's head" are identical? That wasn't a
 typo
 The thing you need to understand about
 Chinese names is that they all have meaning.
 And I don't mean that in the sense of "if you
 trace the etymology back through two
 languages it has its roots in a Hebrew phrase
 that means "God is my " that many
 Western names have. I mean that in the sense
 of "almost all of these words are still in regular
 use today and my parents very literally named
 me "pretty [and] wise" in Chinese.
 (Sidenote: This is why we get annoyed at made
 up 'Chinese' names that just pull two random
 vaguely Chinese-sounding syllables together. It
 is blindingly obvious when it's not a real name).
 (chéng) means "to become", "to turn into"
 L (lóng) is "dragon". Thus, Jackie Chan's
 Chinese stage name, (Chénglóng),
 literally means "become dragon". ((tóu), of
 course, means "head")
 (Further sidenote: This is actually a bit of a
 pun/reference. Specifically, it is a reference to
 Bruce Lee, whose stage name was
 (Xiãolóng), or, "Little dragon". So Jackie's
 chosen stage name means both "become
 dragon", and "become [like] Bruce Lee")
 The other thing you need to know about
 Chinese is that we don't put spaces between
 terms in written text.
 What all this means is that the way you'd
 write "Icarvel into dragon heads" can
 be identical to the way you'd write "Icarvel
 Jackie Chan's head", and literally the only
 difference would be where you pause when
 you vocalise it: before lóngtóu, or after
 chénglóng. XD
 i think the chair turned out great
25 Funny Tumblr Posts to Make You Laughing Today

25 Funny Tumblr Posts to Make You Laughing Today

Ass, Bitch, and Fucking: vialsofbrightforgettingpowders ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN sO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH. NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITHA BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED of only they taught beauty class like this Best description of sugar scrub ever.
Ass, Bitch, and Fucking: vialsofbrightforgettingpowders
 ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN
 SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR
 NOTEPAD
 THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW
 YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I
 KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE
 FUCKERS
 YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT
 YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN
 THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM
 TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A
 NEWBORN
 sO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND
 SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND
 MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART
 OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL
 BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO
 SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL
 THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR
 MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU
 WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM
 SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH.
 NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED
 PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITHA BUBBLE
 BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND
 SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS
 VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE
 NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND
 SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A
 HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER
 THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near
 your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really
 important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way
 its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR
 HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS
 WORKING
 NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU
 HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN
 EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN
 BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF
 BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE
 GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT
 WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF
 YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS
 CLASS DISMISSED
 of only they taught beauty class like this
Best description of sugar scrub ever.

Best description of sugar scrub ever.