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century
century

century

boarder
boarder

boarder

boarders
boarders

boarders

nvm
nvm

nvm

swim
swim

swim

feelings
feelings

feelings

comming
comming

comming

let me
let me

let me

tons
tons

tons

🔥 | Latest

Beautiful, Community, and God: 21 Answers votes oldest newest You can't parse [X]HTML with regex. Because HTML can't be parsed by regex. Regex is not a tool that can be used to correctly parse HTML. As I have answered in HTML-and-regex questions here so many times before, the use of regex will not allow you to consume HTML. Regular expressions are a tool that is insufficiently sophisticated to understand the constructs employed by HTML. HTML is not a regular language and hence cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Regex queries are not equipped to break down HTML into its meaningful parts. so many times but it is not getting to me. Even enhanced irregular regular expressions as used by Perl are not up to the task of parsing HTML. You will never make me crack. HTML is a language of sufficient complexity that it cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Even Jon Skeet cannot parse HTML using regular expressions. Every time you attempt to parse HTML with regular expressions, the unholy child weeps the blood of virgins, and Russian hackers pwn your webapp. Parsing HTML with regex summons tainted souls into the realm of the living. HTML and regex go together like love, marriage, and ritual infanticide. The <center> cannot hold it is too late. The force of regex and HTML together in the same conceptual space will destroy your mind like so much watery putty. If you parse HTML with regex you are giving in to Them and their blasphemous ways which doom us all to inhuman toil for the One whose Name cannot be expressed in the Basic Multilingual Plane, he comes. HTML-plus-regexp will liquify the nerves of the sentient whilst you observe, your psyche withering in the onslaught of horror. Regex-based HTML parsers are the cancer that is killing StackOverflow it is too late it is too late we cannot be saved the trangession of a child ensures regex will consume all living tissue (except for HTML which it cannot, as previously prophesied) dear lord help us how can anyone survive this scourge using regex to parse HTML has doomed humanity to an eternity of dread torture and security holes using regex as a tool to process HTML establishes a breach between this world and the dread realm of čorrupt entities (like SGML entities, but more corrupt) a mere glimpse of the world of reg ex parsers for HTML will instantly transport a programmer's consciousness into a world of ceaseless screaming, he comes-the pestilent slithy regex-infection will devour your HTML parser, application and existence for all time like Vişual Basic only worse he comes he comes do not fight he comes, his uņholy radiance destroping all enlightenment, HTML tags leaking frọm your eyesiike liquid pain, the song of regular expression parsing-will extinguish the voices of mortal man from the sphere I can see it can you see t it is beautiful the f inal snuf fing of the lies of Man ALL ĮS LOSTALL IS LOST the pony he comes he comes hejcemes the ichor permeates al MY FACEFACEh god no NO NOOoo Ne stop the an ges aře not reâj ZALGO IS TON THË PONY, HECOMES 1811 Have you tried using an XML parser instead? link edit flag edited Nov 14 at 0:18 community wiki bobince regex and html
Beautiful, Community, and God: 21 Answers
 votes
 oldest
 newest
 You can't parse [X]HTML with regex. Because HTML can't be parsed by regex. Regex is not a tool that
 can be used to correctly parse HTML. As I have answered in HTML-and-regex questions here so many
 times before, the use of regex will not allow you to consume HTML. Regular expressions are a tool that is
 insufficiently sophisticated to understand the constructs employed by HTML. HTML is not a regular
 language and hence cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Regex queries are not equipped to break
 down HTML into its meaningful parts. so many times but it is not getting to me. Even enhanced irregular
 regular expressions as used by Perl are not up to the task of parsing HTML. You will never make me
 crack. HTML is a language of sufficient complexity that it cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Even
 Jon Skeet cannot parse HTML using regular expressions. Every time you attempt to parse HTML with
 regular expressions, the unholy child weeps the blood of virgins, and Russian hackers pwn your webapp.
 Parsing HTML with regex summons tainted souls into the realm of the living. HTML and regex go together
 like love, marriage, and ritual infanticide. The <center> cannot hold it is too late. The force of regex and
 HTML together in the same conceptual space will destroy your mind like so much watery putty. If you
 parse HTML with regex you are giving in to Them and their blasphemous ways which doom us all to
 inhuman toil for the One whose Name cannot be expressed in the Basic Multilingual Plane, he comes.
 HTML-plus-regexp will liquify the nerves of the sentient whilst you observe, your psyche withering in the
 onslaught of horror. Regex-based HTML parsers are the cancer that is killing StackOverflow it is too late
 it is too late we cannot be saved the trangession of a child ensures regex will consume all living tissue
 (except for HTML which it cannot, as previously prophesied) dear lord help us how can anyone survive
 this scourge using regex to parse HTML has doomed humanity to an eternity of dread torture and
 security holes using regex as a tool to process HTML establishes a breach between this world and the
 dread realm of čorrupt entities (like SGML entities, but more corrupt) a mere glimpse of the world of reg
 ex parsers for HTML will instantly transport a programmer's consciousness into a world of ceaseless
 screaming, he comes-the pestilent slithy regex-infection will devour your HTML parser, application and
 existence for all time like Vişual Basic only worse he comes he comes do not fight he comes, his uņholy
 radiance destroping all enlightenment, HTML tags leaking frọm your eyesiike liquid pain, the song of
 regular expression parsing-will extinguish the voices of mortal man from the sphere I can see it can you
 see t it is beautiful the f inal snuf fing of the lies of Man ALL ĮS LOSTALL IS LOST the pony he
 comes he comes hejcemes the ichor permeates al MY FACEFACEh god no NO NOOoo Ne
 stop the an ges aře not reâj ZALGO IS TON THË PONY, HECOMES
 1811
 Have you tried using an XML parser instead?
 link edit flag
 edited Nov 14 at 0:18
 community wiki
 bobince
regex and html

regex and html

Another One, Cats, and Run: What's a cool fact about the human body that a lot of people don't know? /r/AskReddit 5h alwaysclimbing5 self.AskReddit Selftext 348 (96%) 446 vault13rev 720 pts 5h (edit 4h) If we were an RPG character, our main stat would be endurance. We are, by animal standards, hellishly undying and unrelenting terrors, these Terminator-esque nightmares that just DO. NOT. STOP So ancestrally we are persistence hunters. That is, our main tactic for catching prey without fancy weapons was to just run them down, especially in our way-back home of the African desert. You can still see it, all over the human body. We are nearly hairless. This lack of insulation means better heat dissipation. We have a ton of sweat glands, next to other mammals. Again, heat dissipation. Another one is our two-legged gait - walking for us is technically just a series of controlled falls. We let gravity do half the work, and as a result use up fewer resources and generate less heat (quadrupeds, on the other hand, have to do more work with more legs). Imean, imagine being a more-or-less gazelle of half a million years ago. You're eating, doing your thing, when this predator arrives, so you run off. Now most predators, they'll only chase for a short distance and then call it a day (watch cats, for instance). But this one... here he is again. So you run. He returns. You run again. He returns. You're getting hot -you have to stop and pant to lose heat, but he just keeps jogging.. You run. He keeps coming. You're tired -you're fast, but not for very long, and this stretches your limits. Eventually you just lay there, exhausted and heat-stunned, and this ludicrous hairless monkey just jogs on over and kills you. That's our claws, our sharp teeth, even without our technology and tool-making. We simply don't stop. siriuszstar:I’m scared
Another One, Cats, and Run: What's a cool fact about the human body
 that a lot of people don't know?
 /r/AskReddit 5h
 alwaysclimbing5
 self.AskReddit
 Selftext
 348 (96%)
 446
 vault13rev 720 pts 5h (edit 4h)
 If we were an RPG character, our main stat would be
 endurance.
 We are, by animal standards, hellishly undying and unrelenting
 terrors, these Terminator-esque nightmares that just DO. NOT.
 STOP
 So ancestrally we are persistence hunters. That is, our main
 tactic for catching prey without fancy weapons was to just run
 them down, especially in our way-back home of the African
 desert. You can still see it, all over the human body.
 We are nearly hairless. This lack of insulation means better
 heat dissipation. We have a ton of sweat glands, next to
 other mammals. Again, heat dissipation. Another one is our
 two-legged gait - walking for us is technically just a series of
 controlled falls. We let gravity do half the work, and as a result
 use up fewer resources and generate less heat (quadrupeds,
 on the other hand, have to do more work with more legs).
 Imean, imagine being a more-or-less gazelle of half a million
 years ago. You're eating, doing your thing, when this predator
 arrives, so you run off. Now most predators, they'll only
 chase for a short distance and then call it a day (watch cats,
 for instance). But this one... here he is again. So you run. He
 returns. You run again. He returns. You're getting hot -you have
 to stop and pant to lose heat, but he just keeps jogging.. You
 run. He keeps coming. You're tired -you're fast, but not for very
 long, and this stretches your limits.
 Eventually you just lay there, exhausted and heat-stunned, and
 this ludicrous hairless monkey just jogs on over and kills you.
 That's our claws, our sharp teeth, even without our technology
 and tool-making. We simply don't stop.
siriuszstar:I’m scared

siriuszstar:I’m scared

Amazon, Chrome, and Click: $ Ecosia, a search engine that use 80% of their profits to plant trees, is planting 1 Million trees in Brazil after the Amazon Rainforest fire tragedy The Happy Broadcast G I don't want to play with you anymore tspicer23: ofgeography: avital-mi-beit: tealishfish: programmerhumour: Programmers are the greatest browsing community (SO mostly)…We can singlehandedly save the planet. I use Ecosia and let me tell you, Google has nothing on this search engine. It’s easy to free up your cache and delete cookies. The option is immediately viewable in settings instead of hidden away in the alcoves of who knows where. Unless you favorite a page, it automatically clears it after 7 days, which is awesome if you hate clearing tabs like I do. They plant trees everywhere. Ecosia updates you on their progress- not with annoying update notifications, but with a button you can click as you type up your search if you’re curious. The tree count is shown just beneath the search bar. It is an app too and only takes up 18.2 MB. That’s the equivalent of nine live pictures on your phone. You can view your own tree count. Mine’s 2,475 trees. I have had the app for six months. Do you know how much acreage that is? It’s a heckin’ ton of acres. It has a safe search mode that actually works. It’s true! also worth noting that ecosia’s servers run on 100% renewable energy and that their tree-planting methods are very cool: https://ecosia.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/articles/360013316554-What-tree-planting-methods-does-Ecosia-use- You can also add tab for a cause. Which is an extension for your web browser that gives you hearts to donate every time you open a new tab. And you can use ecosia as a search engine on it as well! Chrome Firefox
Amazon, Chrome, and Click: $
 Ecosia, a search engine that use
 80% of their profits to plant trees, is
 planting 1 Million trees in Brazil after
 the Amazon Rainforest fire tragedy
 The Happy Broadcast
 G
 I don't want to play with you anymore
tspicer23:


ofgeography:

avital-mi-beit:

tealishfish:

programmerhumour:

Programmers are the greatest browsing community (SO mostly)…We can singlehandedly save the planet.

I use Ecosia and let me tell you, Google has nothing on this search engine. 
It’s easy to free up your cache and delete cookies. The option is immediately viewable in settings instead of hidden away in the alcoves of who knows where.
Unless you favorite a page, it automatically clears it after 7 days, which is awesome if you hate clearing tabs like I do. 
They plant trees everywhere. 
Ecosia updates you on their progress- not with annoying update notifications, but with a button you can click as you type up your search if you’re curious.
The tree count is shown just beneath the search bar.
It is an app too and only takes up 18.2 MB. That’s the equivalent of nine live pictures on your phone. 
You can view your own tree count. Mine’s 2,475 trees. I have had the app for six months. Do you know how much acreage that is? It’s a heckin’ ton of acres. 
It has a safe search mode that actually works.

It’s true!

also worth noting that ecosia’s servers run on 100% renewable energy and that their tree-planting methods are very cool: https://ecosia.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/articles/360013316554-What-tree-planting-methods-does-Ecosia-use-

You can also add tab for a cause. Which is an extension for your web browser that gives you hearts to donate every time you open a new tab. And you can use ecosia as a search engine on it as well!
Chrome
Firefox

tspicer23: ofgeography: avital-mi-beit: tealishfish: programmerhumour: Programmers are the greatest browsing community (SO mostly)…We ...

Alive, Apparently, and Bad: ORihad Herrma M S youmakemelikecharity: rock-moms: vastderp: gaybuttfuckzone: deltasniper1000: So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I’m posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.] Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it’s not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them. THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH) They are the world’s largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE. They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn’t put them where they need to fucking go. So they don’t have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn’t just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it’ll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it’s basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons. “If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators.” No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job. They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it’s so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) “Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!” Do not let that expression fool you, they just don’t have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck. They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them. “Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us.” Yes, thank you. “But if they’re so bad at literally everything, why haven’t they gone extinct.” Great question. BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT’S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that’ll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY. And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it. LIVE OCEAN SUNFISH UPDATE: FISH DISCOVERED TO BE MORE DUMB THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHTSo the top and bottom fins kind of wiggle all of the time and they are not sure exactly why but think it’s stabilization. BUT they can jump by turning on their side and using them as wing type things. It is suspected they do this as a way of “scratching” their parasite ridden bodies. So learning that I was like “huh okay they have a skill.” Then I discovered this: Since they are so terrible at swimming, the current will carry them into deep cold water. Then they die. So I have learned that they are so stupid they just get slowly consumed by a freezing death. All while they have the full ability for that to not happen. Because they’re fucking worthless floating garbage i read this out loud to my marine bio nerd friend and she agrees be nice to them they’re doing their best :(
Alive, Apparently, and Bad: ORihad Herrma M
 S
youmakemelikecharity:

rock-moms:

vastderp:

gaybuttfuckzone:

deltasniper1000:

So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I’m posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.]

Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it’s not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them.

THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH)

They are the world’s largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE.

They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn’t put them where they need to fucking go. 

So they don’t have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn’t just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it’ll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it’s basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons. 

“If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators.” No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job.

They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it’s so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) “Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!” Do not let that expression fool you, they just don’t have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck.

They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them. 

“Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us.” Yes, thank you. “But if they’re so bad at literally everything, why haven’t they gone extinct.” Great question. 

BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT’S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that’ll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY. 

And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it.


LIVE OCEAN SUNFISH UPDATE: FISH DISCOVERED TO BE MORE DUMB THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHTSo
 the top and bottom fins kind of wiggle all of the time and they are not
 sure exactly why but think it’s stabilization. BUT they can jump by 
turning on their side and using them as 
wing type things. It is suspected they do this as a way of “scratching” 
their parasite ridden bodies. So learning that I was like “huh okay they
 have a skill.” Then I discovered this: Since they 
are so terrible at swimming, the current will carry them into deep cold 
water. Then they die. So I have learned that they are so stupid they 
just get slowly consumed by a freezing death. All while they have the 
full ability for that to not happen. Because they’re fucking worthless 
floating garbage



i read this out loud to my marine bio nerd friend and she agrees


be nice to them they’re doing their best :(

youmakemelikecharity: rock-moms: vastderp: gaybuttfuckzone: deltasniper1000: So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the...

Animals, Another One, and Cats: What's a cool fact about the human body that a lot of people don't know? /r/AskReddit5h alwaysclimbing5 self.AskReddit Selftext 348 (96%) 446 vault13rev 720 pts 5h (edit 4h) If we were an RPG character, our main stat would be endurance. We are, by animal standards, hellishly undying and unrelenting terrors, these Terminator-esque nightmares that just DO. NOT STOP So ancestrally we are persistence hunters. That is, our main tactic for catching prey without fancy weapons was to just run them down, especially in our way-back home of the African desert. You can still see it, all over the human body. We are nearly hairless. This lack of insulation means better heat dissipation. We have a ton of sweat glands, next to other mammals. Again, heat dissipation. Another one is our two-legged gait - walking for us is technically just a series of controlled falls. We let gravity do half the work, and as a result use up fewer resources and generate less heat (quadrupeds, on the other hand, have to do more work with more legs). I mean, imagine being a more-or-less gazelle of half a million years ago. You're eating, doing your thing, when this predator arrives, so you run off. Now most predators, they'll only chase for a short distance and then call it a day (watch cats, for instance). But this one... here he is again. So you run. He returns. You run again. He returns. You're getting hot -you have to stop and pant to lose heat, but he just keeps jogging. You run. He keeps coming. You're tired -you're fast, but not for very long, and this stretches your limits. Eventually you just lay there, exhausted and heat-stunned, and this ludicrous hairless monkey just jogs on over and kills you. That's our claws, our sharp teeth, even without our technology and tool-making. We simply don't stop. hollowfeathers: catchymemes: Human vs Animals “Walking is just a series of controlled falls” is actually pretty inspirational.
Animals, Another One, and Cats: What's a cool fact about the human body
 that a lot of people don't know?
 /r/AskReddit5h alwaysclimbing5 self.AskReddit
 Selftext
 348 (96%)
 446
 vault13rev 720 pts 5h (edit 4h)
 If we were an RPG character, our main stat would be
 endurance.
 We are, by animal standards, hellishly undying and unrelenting
 terrors, these Terminator-esque nightmares that just DO. NOT
 STOP
 So ancestrally we are persistence hunters. That is, our main
 tactic for catching prey without fancy weapons was to just run
 them down, especially in our way-back home of the African
 desert. You can still see it, all over the human body.
 We are nearly hairless. This lack of insulation means better
 heat dissipation. We have a ton of sweat glands, next to
 other mammals. Again, heat dissipation. Another one is our
 two-legged gait - walking for us is technically just a series of
 controlled falls. We let gravity do half the work, and as a result
 use up fewer resources and generate less heat (quadrupeds,
 on the other hand, have to do more work with more legs).
 I mean, imagine being a more-or-less gazelle of half a million
 years ago. You're eating, doing your thing, when this predator
 arrives, so you run off. Now most predators, they'll only
 chase for a short distance and then call it a day (watch cats,
 for instance). But this one... here he is again. So you run. He
 returns. You run again. He returns. You're getting hot -you have
 to stop and pant to lose heat, but he just keeps jogging. You
 run. He keeps coming. You're tired -you're fast, but not for very
 long, and this stretches your limits.
 Eventually you just lay there, exhausted and heat-stunned, and
 this ludicrous hairless monkey just jogs on over and kills you.
 That's our claws, our sharp teeth, even without our technology
 and tool-making. We simply don't stop.
hollowfeathers:
catchymemes:
 Human vs Animals
“Walking is just a series of controlled falls” is actually pretty inspirational.

hollowfeathers: catchymemes: Human vs Animals “Walking is just a series of controlled falls” is actually pretty inspirational.

Advice, Dad, and Dude: Lol yeah YOU MATCHED WITH ON 9/20/19 I am her 8 year old son and I am look big for a date for her because I need a dad and when I read ur bio I was like "is this me from the future?" Hi this is not And how are you doing Lol feeling a bit ris ky as I am sitting next to he sleeping (my mom) and using tinder I feel like this is a kinda mission impossible thing ya know? cause I play a heck ton of video games too and I think you would be he perfect father. Addicted to video games already? My kinda fella I sure do but I don't think you should be using her phone and messaging random strangers at your age like that. Plenty of weirdos out there that you shouldn't be talking too. Lol yeah And how are you doing Well u are right but technically I'm not using her phone I'm using her ipad Lol feeling a bit risky as I am sitting next to he sleeping Ashley brown (my mom) and using tinder I feel like this is a kinda mission I'll take ur advice though impossible thing ya know? Might talk to my mom bout u in he morning but bye for now! I sure do but I don't think you should be using her phone and Sent massaaina random etranners at Send Send Type a message Type a message GIF GIF This is what happens when I let the kid use the iPad and then fall asleep 🤦‍♀️ Thanks, random Tinder dude, for not being an asshole. I think I’m too mortified to message him back
Advice, Dad, and Dude: Lol yeah
 YOU MATCHED WITH
 ON 9/20/19
 I am her 8
 year old son and I am look big for
 a date for her because I need a
 dad and when I read ur bio I was
 like "is this me from the future?"
 Hi this is not
 And how are you doing
 Lol feeling a bit ris ky as I am
 sitting next to he sleeping
 (my mom) and using tinder
 I feel like this is a kinda mission
 impossible thing ya know?
 cause I play a heck ton of video
 games too and I think you would
 be he perfect father.
 Addicted to video games already?
 My kinda fella
 I sure do but I don't think you
 should be using her phone and
 messaging random strangers at
 your age like that. Plenty of
 weirdos out there that you
 shouldn't be talking too.
 Lol yeah
 And how are you doing
 Well u are right but technically I'm
 not using her phone I'm using
 her ipad
 Lol feeling a bit risky as I am
 sitting next to he sleeping Ashley
 brown (my mom) and using tinder
 I feel like this is a kinda mission
 I'll take ur advice though
 impossible thing ya know?
 Might talk to my mom bout u in he
 morning but bye for now!
 I sure do but I don't think you
 should be using her phone and
 Sent
 massaaina random etranners at
 Send
 Send
 Type a message
 Type a message
 GIF
 GIF
This is what happens when I let the kid use the iPad and then fall asleep 🤦‍♀️ Thanks, random Tinder dude, for not being an asshole. I think I’m too mortified to message him back

This is what happens when I let the kid use the iPad and then fall asleep 🤦‍♀️ Thanks, random Tinder dude, for not being an asshole. I think...

Another One, Cats, and Run: What's a cool fact about the human body that a lot of people don't know? /r/AskReddit 5h alwaysclimbing5 self.AskReddit Selftext 348 (96%) 446 vault13rev 720 pts 5h (edit 4h) If we were an RPG character, our main stat would be endurance. We are, by animal standards, hellishly undying and unrelenting terrors, these Terminator-esque nightmares that just DO. NOT. STOP So ancestrally we are persistence hunters. That is, our main tactic for catching prey without fancy weapons was to just run them down, especially in our way-back home of the African desert. You can still see it, all over the human body. We are nearly hairless. This lack of insulation means better heat dissipation. We have a ton of sweat glands, next to other mammals. Again, heat dissipation. Another one is our two-legged gait - walking for us is technically just a series of controlled falls. We let gravity do half the work, and as a result use up fewer resources and generate less heat (quadrupeds, on the other hand, have to do more work with more legs). Imean, imagine being a more-or-less gazelle of half a million years ago. You're eating, doing your thing, when this predator arrives, so you run off. Now most predators, they'll only chase for a short distance and then call it a day (watch cats, for instance). But this one... here he is again. So you run. He returns. You run again. He returns. You're getting hot -you have to stop and pant to lose heat, but he just keeps jogging.. You run. He keeps coming. You're tired -you're fast, but not for very long, and this stretches your limits. Eventually you just lay there, exhausted and heat-stunned, and this ludicrous hairless monkey just jogs on over and kills you. That's our claws, our sharp teeth, even without our technology and tool-making. We simply don't stop.
Another One, Cats, and Run: What's a cool fact about the human body
 that a lot of people don't know?
 /r/AskReddit 5h
 alwaysclimbing5
 self.AskReddit
 Selftext
 348 (96%)
 446
 vault13rev 720 pts 5h (edit 4h)
 If we were an RPG character, our main stat would be
 endurance.
 We are, by animal standards, hellishly undying and unrelenting
 terrors, these Terminator-esque nightmares that just DO. NOT.
 STOP
 So ancestrally we are persistence hunters. That is, our main
 tactic for catching prey without fancy weapons was to just run
 them down, especially in our way-back home of the African
 desert. You can still see it, all over the human body.
 We are nearly hairless. This lack of insulation means better
 heat dissipation. We have a ton of sweat glands, next to
 other mammals. Again, heat dissipation. Another one is our
 two-legged gait - walking for us is technically just a series of
 controlled falls. We let gravity do half the work, and as a result
 use up fewer resources and generate less heat (quadrupeds,
 on the other hand, have to do more work with more legs).
 Imean, imagine being a more-or-less gazelle of half a million
 years ago. You're eating, doing your thing, when this predator
 arrives, so you run off. Now most predators, they'll only
 chase for a short distance and then call it a day (watch cats,
 for instance). But this one... here he is again. So you run. He
 returns. You run again. He returns. You're getting hot -you have
 to stop and pant to lose heat, but he just keeps jogging.. You
 run. He keeps coming. You're tired -you're fast, but not for very
 long, and this stretches your limits.
 Eventually you just lay there, exhausted and heat-stunned, and
 this ludicrous hairless monkey just jogs on over and kills you.
 That's our claws, our sharp teeth, even without our technology
 and tool-making. We simply don't stop.