Keeping
Keeping

Keeping

Riches
Riches

Riches

Bigly
Bigly

Bigly

I Have
I Have

I Have

8 Minutes
8 Minutes

8 Minutes

Died
Died

Died

From
From

From

Long
Long

Long

The
The

The

Love Is
Love Is

Love Is

🔥 | Latest

Told: How many other lies have I been told by the council?
Told: How many other lies have I been told by the council?

How many other lies have I been told by the council?

Told: How many other lies have I been told by the council? by TheguywholikesReddit MORE MEMES
Told: How many other lies have I been told by the council? by TheguywholikesReddit
MORE MEMES

How many other lies have I been told by the council? by TheguywholikesReddit MORE MEMES

Told: justcatposts: “My cat Blackberry has done this before but my friends told me it was really impressive and I should share..” (Source)
Told: justcatposts:

“My cat Blackberry has done this before but my friends told me it was really impressive and I should share..” (Source)

justcatposts: “My cat Blackberry has done this before but my friends told me it was really impressive and I should share..” (Source)

Told: After making the front page of reddit, my wife told me “you’ve had your fun, now cut your hair!”
Told: After making the front page of reddit, my wife told me “you’ve had your fun, now cut your hair!”

After making the front page of reddit, my wife told me “you’ve had your fun, now cut your hair!”

Told: After making the front page of reddit, my wife told me “you’ve had your fun, now cut your hair!”
Told: After making the front page of reddit, my wife told me “you’ve had your fun, now cut your hair!”

After making the front page of reddit, my wife told me “you’ve had your fun, now cut your hair!”

Told: justcatposts: My aunts cat hates when she leaves so she guards her keys everyday. I told her to film it as proof and this is what she sent me. (Source)
Told: justcatposts:

My aunts cat hates when she leaves so she guards her keys everyday. I told her to film it as proof and this is what she sent me. (Source)

justcatposts: My aunts cat hates when she leaves so she guards her keys everyday. I told her to film it as proof and this is what she se...

Told: Had to remake this meme cuz people told me too…
Told: Had to remake this meme cuz people told me too…

Had to remake this meme cuz people told me too…

Told: Many people told me to post it here
Told: Many people told me to post it here

Many people told me to post it here

Told: relyonloveonceinawhile: whoopsrobots: equilateralwaffle: kotsuso: sophygurl: blindly-nostalgic: itseasytoremember: itseasytoremember: itseasytoremember: itseasytoremember: every day the same telemarketing company calls us. I’ve asked to be taken off their calling list, I’ve tried to be civil, I’ve even tried to not answer the phone, yet they’ll keep calling. So now I’ve resorted to making the phones calls as annoying as possible for them. Today I asked the person to hold while I got a pen and paper. As of now, they’ve been waiting 45 minutes. Update: I just asked him if he was still there, then when he said yes i told him i had found a pen but no paper, but that i’m still looking. It’s been an hour. I HAVE LITERALLY BEEN ON TUMBLR AND YOUTUBE WHILE THIS GUY WAITS. IT’S BEEN ALMOST AN HOUR AND A HALF Update: After an hour and 35 minutes I told him that i had found paper, but my pen was dead. He hung up. Ah well, i’ll just do it again tomorrow! You are the future As a former telemarketer, I can tell you that the only reason that guy hung on the line for so long was because he didn’t really want to make any more calls anyway and was probably reading a book or chatting with friends while you pretended to find paper and pen. He was enjoying your mischief as much, if not more, than you were. You literally gave this guy an acceptable reason to take an hour and a half break. You are his hero. He likely only finally hung up because it was officially his break time anyway. He probably told all his co-workers about your call and they’ll be laughing about it for weeks. Holy shit, is this a happy ending to a post where everybody actually wins? ACTUALLY YES because according to parental unit number one, telemarketers get paid by how long they’re on the phone with someone. so you were literally helping this friend get paid by doing absolutely shit vive la resistance Chaotic Good
Told: relyonloveonceinawhile:
whoopsrobots:

equilateralwaffle:

kotsuso:

sophygurl:

blindly-nostalgic:

itseasytoremember:

itseasytoremember:

itseasytoremember:

itseasytoremember:

every day the same telemarketing company calls us. I’ve asked to be taken off their calling list, I’ve tried to be civil, I’ve even tried to not answer the phone, yet they’ll keep calling. So now I’ve resorted to making the phones calls as annoying as possible for them.
Today I asked the person to hold while I got a pen and paper. As of now, they’ve been waiting 45 minutes.

Update:
I just asked him if he was still there, then when he said yes i told him i had found a pen but no paper, but that i’m still looking. It’s been an hour.

I HAVE LITERALLY BEEN ON TUMBLR AND YOUTUBE WHILE THIS GUY WAITS. IT’S BEEN ALMOST AN HOUR AND A HALF

Update:
After an hour and 35 minutes I told him that i had found paper, but my pen was dead. He hung up. Ah well, i’ll just do it again tomorrow!

You are the future

As a former telemarketer, I can tell you that the only reason that guy hung on the line for so long was because he didn’t really want to make any more calls anyway and was probably reading a book or chatting with friends while you pretended to find paper and pen. He was enjoying your mischief as much, if not more, than you were. You literally gave this guy an acceptable reason to take an hour and a half break. You are his hero. He likely only finally hung up because it was officially his break time anyway. He probably told all his co-workers about your call and they’ll be laughing about it for weeks.

Holy shit, is this a happy ending to a post where everybody actually wins?

ACTUALLY YES because according to parental unit number one, telemarketers get paid by how long they’re on the phone with someone. so you were literally helping this friend get paid by doing absolutely shit

vive la resistance

Chaotic Good

relyonloveonceinawhile: whoopsrobots: equilateralwaffle: kotsuso: sophygurl: blindly-nostalgic: itseasytoremember: itseasytoremembe...

Told: I’m told you were the best
Told: I’m told you were the best

I’m told you were the best

Told: some body once told me
Told: some body once told me

some body once told me

Told: But God told me to tell you
Told: But God told me to tell you

But God told me to tell you

Told: This is Tiger. He just turned 31. We are told he is the oldest cat in the state of Illinois (via)
Told: This is Tiger. He just turned 31. We are told he is the oldest cat in the state of Illinois (via)

This is Tiger. He just turned 31. We are told he is the oldest cat in the state of Illinois (via)

Told: I was told to post it here
Told: I was told to post it here

I was told to post it here

Told: I’m told you were the best
Told: I’m told you were the best

I’m told you were the best

Told: I’m told you were the best by mileslikesmemeslol MORE MEMES
Told: I’m told you were the best by mileslikesmemeslol
MORE MEMES

I’m told you were the best by mileslikesmemeslol MORE MEMES

Told: But God told me to tell you
Told: But God told me to tell you

But God told me to tell you

Told: But God told me to tell you by Kelmo7 MORE MEMES
Told: But God told me to tell you by Kelmo7
MORE MEMES

But God told me to tell you by Kelmo7 MORE MEMES

Told: My friend told me that I look like a popsicle stick.
Told: My friend told me that I look like a popsicle stick.

My friend told me that I look like a popsicle stick.

Told: my epic teacher today in our zoom class told us why we shouldn’t use tik tok (yes he is Indian) he uses reddit lets see if we can get him to see this
Told: my epic teacher today in our zoom class told us why we shouldn’t use tik tok (yes he is Indian) he uses reddit lets see if we can get him to see this

my epic teacher today in our zoom class told us why we shouldn’t use tik tok (yes he is Indian) he uses reddit lets see if we can get him...

Told: My son told me to stop sleeping with more than two pillows :)
Told: My son told me to stop sleeping with more than two pillows :)

My son told me to stop sleeping with more than two pillows :)

Told: some buddha once told me
Told: some buddha once told me

some buddha once told me

Told: some buddha once told me
Told: some buddha once told me

some buddha once told me

Told: My friend told me that I look like a popsicle stick.
Told: My friend told me that I look like a popsicle stick.

My friend told me that I look like a popsicle stick.

Told: My friend told me that I look like a popsicle stick.
Told: My friend told me that I look like a popsicle stick.

My friend told me that I look like a popsicle stick.

Told: My cab driver tonight was so excited to share with me that he’d made the cover of the calendar. I told him l’d help let the world see
Told: My cab driver tonight was so excited to share with me that he’d made the cover of the calendar. I told him l’d help let the world see

My cab driver tonight was so excited to share with me that he’d made the cover of the calendar. I told him l’d help let the world see

Told: A customer called asking if we were practicing social distancing with her sandwiches. I told her we are, but tbh guys I’m running out of space.
Told: A customer called asking if we were practicing social distancing with her sandwiches. I told her we are, but tbh guys I’m running out of space.

A customer called asking if we were practicing social distancing with her sandwiches. I told her we are, but tbh guys I’m running out of...

Told: A customer called asking if we were practicing social distancing with her sandwiches. I told her we are, but tbh guys I’m running out of space.
Told: A customer called asking if we were practicing social distancing with her sandwiches. I told her we are, but tbh guys I’m running out of space.

A customer called asking if we were practicing social distancing with her sandwiches. I told her we are, but tbh guys I’m running out of...

Told: TFW you find out the chick you’ve been hitting it off for weeks told you she was a digital content creator and it is actually an onlyfans account by spreadcollar MORE MEMES
Told: TFW you find out the chick you’ve been hitting it off for weeks told you she was a digital content creator and it is actually an onlyfans account by spreadcollar
MORE MEMES

TFW you find out the chick you’ve been hitting it off for weeks told you she was a digital content creator and it is actually an onlyfans...

Told: 10 years since Bill Gates told me that lunch was a once a day thing.
Told: 10 years since Bill Gates told me that lunch was a once a day thing.

10 years since Bill Gates told me that lunch was a once a day thing.

Told: My friend told me to post this here
Told: My friend told me to post this here

My friend told me to post this here

Told: The child actors of the Harry Potter movies were told to do their homework while filming to add realism. From his face, I think it’s math.
Told: The child actors of the Harry Potter movies were told to do their homework while filming to add realism. From his face, I think it’s math.

The child actors of the Harry Potter movies were told to do their homework while filming to add realism. From his face, I think it’s math.

Told: The child actors of the Harry Potter movies were told to do their homework while filming to add realism. From his face, I think it’s math.
Told: The child actors of the Harry Potter movies were told to do their homework while filming to add realism. From his face, I think it’s math.

The child actors of the Harry Potter movies were told to do their homework while filming to add realism. From his face, I think it’s math.

Told: 10 years since Bill Gates told me that lunch was a once a day thing.
Told: 10 years since Bill Gates told me that lunch was a once a day thing.

10 years since Bill Gates told me that lunch was a once a day thing.

Told: rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milstein’s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed. “I guess at some point while she’s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,” said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was “the only possible conclusion” about the light-gray rock in his girlfriend’s bathroom. “I mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But it’s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think it’s probably something she actually uses while under the water.” “I really don’t know how it all works,” Ferris added. “All I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, there’s a rock involved.” Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on. In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when he’s in Milstein’s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriend’s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average person’s considering she has added a rock into the mix. Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful. “I tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,” Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. “I could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe I’m wrong.” “There is a chance it could be a hair thing,” Ferris continued. “Maybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I don’t know.” Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time. “It could be for cleaning the bathtub,” said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. “Like every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.” While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower. “I wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when she’s over here,” said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath & Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their “shower rocks.” “Or I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.” “I’m probably not going to do that,” Ferris added. At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milstein’s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place.
Told: rubitrightintomyeyes:

theonion:

Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine
SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milstein’s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed.
“I guess at some point while she’s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,” said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was “the only possible conclusion” about the light-gray rock in his girlfriend’s bathroom. “I mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But it’s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think it’s probably something she actually uses while under the water.”
“I really don’t know how it all works,” Ferris added. “All I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, there’s a rock involved.”
Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on.
In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when he’s in Milstein’s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriend’s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average person’s considering she has added a rock into the mix.
Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful.
“I tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,” Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. “I could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe I’m wrong.”
“There is a chance it could be a hair thing,” Ferris continued. “Maybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I don’t know.”
Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time.
“It could be for cleaning the bathtub,” said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. “Like every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.”
While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower.
“I wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when she’s over here,” said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath & Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their “shower rocks.” “Or I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.”
“I’m probably not going to do that,” Ferris added.
At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milstein’s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place.

rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full...

Told: Told VP my backend is robust and versatile
Told: Told VP my backend is robust and versatile

Told VP my backend is robust and versatile

Told: My boyfriend told me “Under no circumstances are you allowed to catch the bouquet”. Apparently God had other plans.
Told: My boyfriend told me “Under no circumstances are you allowed to catch the bouquet”. Apparently God had other plans.

My boyfriend told me “Under no circumstances are you allowed to catch the bouquet”. Apparently God had other plans.

Told: My boyfriend told me “Under no circumstances are you allowed to catch the bouquet”. Apparently God had other plans.
Told: My boyfriend told me “Under no circumstances are you allowed to catch the bouquet”. Apparently God had other plans.

My boyfriend told me “Under no circumstances are you allowed to catch the bouquet”. Apparently God had other plans.

Told: anxieusly: lies i’ve told therapists. pt 4.
Told: anxieusly:



lies i’ve told therapists. pt 4.

anxieusly: lies i’ve told therapists. pt 4.

Told: geezus-louisus: fuck that baby shoes story. this is the shortest saddest story ever told.
Told: geezus-louisus:
fuck that baby shoes story. this is the shortest saddest story ever told.

geezus-louisus: fuck that baby shoes story. this is the shortest saddest story ever told.

Told: I’m truly curious on who told her this was cute?
Told: I’m truly curious on who told her this was cute?

I’m truly curious on who told her this was cute?

Told: I’m truly curious on who told her this was cute? by sellm3candii__ MORE MEMES
Told: I’m truly curious on who told her this was cute? by sellm3candii__
MORE MEMES

I’m truly curious on who told her this was cute? by sellm3candii__ MORE MEMES