About
About

About

Its
Its

Its

Past
Past

Past

The
The

The

For Now
For Now

For Now

The Future
The Future

The Future

When
When

When

You What
You What

You What

And
And

And

Meant To Be
Meant To Be

Meant To Be

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Bad, Batman, and Joker: Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Batman movies and then asked it to write a Batman movie of its own. Here is the first page. BATMAN INT. TRADITIONAL BATCAVE BATMAN stands next to his batmobile and uses his batcomputer He's sometimes Bruce Wayne sometimes Batman. Alltimes orphan BATMAN This is now a safe city. I have punched a penguin into prison ALFRED, Batman's loyal batler, carries a tray of goth ham ALFRED Eat a dinner, Mattress Wayne An explosion explodes. THE JOKER and TWO-FACE enter the cave Joker is a clown but insane. Two-Face is a man but attorney BATMAN No! It is Two-Face and One-Face. a bat They hate me for being Batman throws Alfred at Two-Face. Two-Face flips Alfred like a coin. Alfred lands heads up which means Two-Face goes home BATMAN (CONT'D) It is just you and I, the Joker. Bat versus clown. Moral enemies THE JOKER I am such a freak. Society is bad You drink water, I drink anarchy ΒΑTMAΝ I drink bats just like a bat would! Batman looks around for his parents, but they are still dead This makes him have anger. He fires a batrocket. The Joker deflects it with his sick sense of humor. A clOwnly power THE JOKER I have never followed a rule. That is my rule. Do you follow? I don't BATMAN Alfred, give birth to Robin Alfred begins the process since it is his job. The Joker now has a present in his hand. He juggles it over to Batman THE JOKER Happy batday, Birthman Batman opens the present since he's a good guy. It contains a coupon for new parents, but is expired. This is a Joker joke
Bad, Batman, and Joker: Keaton Patti
 @KeatonPatti
 I forced a bot to watch over 1,000
 hours of Batman movies and then
 asked it to write a Batman movie of
 its own. Here is the first page.
 BATMAN
 INT. TRADITIONAL BATCAVE
 BATMAN stands next to his batmobile and uses his batcomputer
 He's sometimes Bruce Wayne sometimes Batman. Alltimes orphan
 BATMAN
 This is now a safe city. I have
 punched a penguin into prison
 ALFRED, Batman's loyal batler, carries a tray of goth ham
 ALFRED
 Eat a dinner, Mattress Wayne
 An explosion explodes. THE JOKER and TWO-FACE enter the cave
 Joker is a clown but insane. Two-Face is a man but attorney
 BATMAN
 No! It is Two-Face and One-Face.
 a bat
 They hate me for being
 Batman throws Alfred at Two-Face. Two-Face flips Alfred like
 a coin. Alfred lands heads up which means Two-Face goes home
 BATMAN (CONT'D)
 It is just you and I, the Joker.
 Bat versus clown. Moral enemies
 THE JOKER
 I am such a freak. Society is bad
 You drink water, I drink anarchy
 ΒΑTMAΝ
 I drink bats just like a bat would!
 Batman looks around for his parents, but they are still dead
 This makes him have anger. He fires a batrocket. The Joker
 deflects it with his sick sense of humor. A clOwnly power
 THE JOKER
 I have never followed a rule. That
 is my rule. Do you follow? I don't
 BATMAN
 Alfred, give birth to Robin
 Alfred begins the process since it is his job. The Joker now
 has a present in his hand. He juggles it over to Batman
 THE JOKER
 Happy batday, Birthman
 Batman opens the present since he's a good guy. It contains a
 coupon for new parents, but is expired. This is a Joker joke
Bad, Batman, and Joker: Thread Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Batman movies and then asked it to write a Batman movie of its own. Here is the first page. BATHAN INT. TRADITIONAL BATCAVE BATMAN stands next to his batmobile and uses hia batcomputer. He'e sometimes Bruce Wayne sometimes Batman. Alltimes orphan BATMAN This is now a safe city. I have punched a penguin into prison ALFRED, Batman's loyal batler, carries a tray of goth ham ALFRED Eat a dinner, Mattress Wayne. An explosion explodes. THE JOKER and TWo-FACE enter the cave Joker is a clown but insane. Two-Face is a man but attorney. BATMAN No! It is Two-Face and One-Face They hate me for being a bat Batman throws Alfred at Two-Face. Two-Face flips Alfred like a coin. Alfred lands heade up which mean8 Two-Face goes home. BATMAN (CONT 'D) It is just you and I, the Joker Bat versus clown. Moral enemies THE JOKER I am such a freak. Society is bad You drink water, I drink anarchy BATMAN I drink bats just like a bat would! Batman looks around for his parents, but they are still dead This makes him have anger. He fires a batrocket. The Joker deflects it with his sick sense of humor. A clownly power. THE JOKER I have never followed a rule. That is my rule. Do you follow? I don't BATMAN Alfred, give birth to Robin Alfred begins the process since it is his job. The Joker now has a present in his hand. He juggles it over to Batman THE JOKER Happy batday, Birthman Batman opens the present since he's a coupon for new parents, but is expired. This is a Joker joke. good guy. It contains a meirl
Bad, Batman, and Joker: Thread
 Keaton Patti
 @KeatonPatti
 I forced a bot to watch over 1,000
 hours of Batman movies and then
 asked it to write a Batman movie
 of its own. Here is the first page.
 BATHAN
 INT. TRADITIONAL BATCAVE
 BATMAN stands next to his batmobile and uses hia batcomputer.
 He'e sometimes Bruce Wayne sometimes Batman. Alltimes orphan
 BATMAN
 This is now a safe city. I have
 punched a penguin into prison
 ALFRED, Batman's loyal batler, carries a tray of goth ham
 ALFRED
 Eat a dinner, Mattress Wayne.
 An explosion explodes. THE JOKER and TWo-FACE enter the cave
 Joker is a clown but insane. Two-Face is a man but attorney.
 BATMAN
 No! It is Two-Face and One-Face
 They hate me for being a bat
 Batman throws Alfred at Two-Face. Two-Face flips Alfred like
 a coin. Alfred lands heade up which mean8 Two-Face goes home.
 BATMAN (CONT 'D)
 It is just you and I, the Joker
 Bat versus clown. Moral enemies
 THE JOKER
 I am such a freak. Society is bad
 You drink water, I drink anarchy
 BATMAN
 I drink bats just like a bat would!
 Batman looks around for his parents, but they are still dead
 This makes him have anger. He fires a batrocket. The Joker
 deflects it with his sick sense of humor. A clownly power.
 THE JOKER
 I have never followed a rule. That
 is my rule. Do you follow? I don't
 BATMAN
 Alfred, give birth to Robin
 Alfred begins the process since it is his job. The Joker now
 has a present in his hand. He juggles it over to Batman
 THE JOKER
 Happy batday, Birthman
 Batman opens the present since he's a
 coupon for new parents, but is expired. This is a Joker joke.
 good guy. It contains a
meirl

meirl

Dove, Funny, and Head: Language Why English is so hard to learn 11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid in his hospital bed. 12. There was a row among the oarsmen about who would row. 13. They were too close to the door to close it. 14. The buck does funny things when the does (females) are present. 15.A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. 16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. 17.The wind was too strong to wind the sail around the mast. Marlene Davis YOU think English is easy? Check out the following. 1. The bandage was wound around the wound. 2. The farm was cultivated to produce produce. 3. The dump was so full that the workers had to refuse more refuse. 4. We must polish the Polish furniture shown at the store. 5. He could lead if he would get the lead out. 6. The soldier decided to desert his tasty dessert in the desert. 7. Since there is no time like the pres- ent, he thought it was time to present the present to his girlfriend. 8.A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. 9.When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. 10.1 did not object to the object which he showed me. 18. Upon seeing the tear in her painting she shed a tear. 19.I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. 20. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? Heteronyms These are brilliant. Homonyms or homographs are words of like spelling, but with more than one meaning and sound. When pronounced differently, they are known as heteronyms English is thoroughly tough
Dove, Funny, and Head: Language
 Why English is
 so hard to learn
 11. The insurance was invalid for the
 invalid in his hospital bed.
 12. There was a row among the
 oarsmen about who would row.
 13. They were too close to the door
 to close it.
 14. The buck does funny things when
 the does (females) are present.
 15.A seamstress and a sewer fell
 down into a sewer line.
 16. To help with planting, the farmer
 taught his sow to sow.
 17.The wind was too strong to wind
 the sail around the mast.
 Marlene Davis
 YOU think English
 is easy? Check out
 the following.
 1. The bandage
 was wound around
 the wound.
 2. The farm was cultivated to produce
 produce.
 3. The dump was so full that the
 workers had to refuse more refuse.
 4. We must polish the Polish furniture
 shown at the store.
 5. He could lead if he would get the
 lead out.
 6. The soldier decided to desert his
 tasty dessert in the desert.
 7. Since there is no time like the pres-
 ent, he thought it was time to present the
 present to his girlfriend.
 8.A bass was painted on the head of
 the bass drum.
 9.When shot at, the dove dove into
 the bushes.
 10.1 did not object to the object
 which he showed me.
 18. Upon seeing the tear in her
 painting she shed a tear.
 19.I had to subject the subject to a
 series of tests.
 20. How can I intimate this to my
 most intimate friend?
 Heteronyms
 These are brilliant. Homonyms
 or homographs are words of like
 spelling, but with more than one
 meaning and sound.
 When pronounced differently,
 they are known as heteronyms
English is thoroughly tough

English is thoroughly tough

Dove, Funny, and Head: Language Matters Why English is so hard to learn 11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid in his hospital bed. Marlene Davis YOU think English is easy? Check out the following. 12. There was a row among the oarsmen about who would row. 13. They were too close to the door to close it. 1. The bandage was wound around the wound. 14. The buck does funny things when the does (females) are present. 15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. 2. The farm was cultivated to produce produce. 16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. 3. The dump was so full that the workers had to refuse more refuse. 17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail around the mast. 4. We must polish the Polish furniture shown at the store. 5. He could lead if he would get the lead out. 18. Upon seeing the tear in her painting she shed a tear. 19.I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. 6. The soldier decided to desert his tasty dessert in the desert. 20. How can I intimate this to my 7. Since there is no time like the pres- ent, he thought it was time to present the present to his girlfriend 8. A bass was painted on the head of 9. When shot at, the dove dove into 10. I did not object to the object most intimate friend? Heteronyms or homographs are words of like These are brilliant. Homone the bass drum. the bushes. which he showed me. spelling, but with more than one meaning and sound. When pronounced differently they are known as heteronyms I’m not sure why anyone would desert their tasty dessert in the desert.. but you get the point.
Dove, Funny, and Head: Language Matters
 Why English is
 so hard to learn
 11. The insurance was invalid for the
 invalid in his hospital bed.
 Marlene Davis
 YOU think English
 is easy? Check out
 the following.
 12. There was a row among the
 oarsmen about who would row.
 13. They were too close to the door
 to close it.
 1. The bandage
 was wound around
 the wound.
 14. The buck does funny things when
 the does (females) are present.
 15. A seamstress and a sewer fell
 down into a sewer line.
 2. The farm was cultivated to produce
 produce.
 16. To help with planting, the farmer
 taught his sow to sow.
 3. The dump was so full that the
 workers had to refuse more refuse.
 17. The wind was too strong to wind
 the sail around the mast.
 4. We must polish the Polish furniture
 shown at the store.
 5. He could lead if he would get the
 lead out.
 18. Upon seeing the tear in her
 painting she shed a tear.
 19.I had to subject the subject to a
 series of tests.
 6. The soldier decided to desert his
 tasty dessert in the desert.
 20. How can I intimate this to my
 7. Since there is no time like the pres-
 ent, he thought it was time to present the
 present to his girlfriend
 8. A bass was painted on the head of
 9. When shot at, the dove dove into
 10. I did not object to the object
 most intimate friend?
 Heteronyms
 or homographs are words of like
 These are brilliant. Homone
 the bass drum.
 the bushes.
 which he showed me.
 spelling, but with more than one
 meaning and sound.
 When pronounced differently
 they are known as heteronyms
I’m not sure why anyone would desert their tasty dessert in the desert.. but you get the point.

I’m not sure why anyone would desert their tasty dessert in the desert.. but you get the point.

Children, Christmas, and Cookies: "In our family, we have a special way of transitioning the kids from receiving from Santa, to becoming a Santa. This way, the Santa construct is not a lie that gets discovered, but an unfolding series of good deeds and Christmas spirit When they are 6 or 7, whenever you see that dawning suspicion that Santa may not be a material being, that means the child is ready | take them out "for coffee" at the local wherever. We get a booth, order our drinks, and the following pronouncement is made "You sure have arown an awful lot this year. Not only are you taller, but l can see that your heart has grown, too. [ Point out 2-3 examples of empathetic behavior, consideration of people's feelings, good deeds etc, the kıd has done in the past year]. In fact, your heart has grown so much that I think you are ready to become a Santa Claus You probably have noticed that most of the Santas you see are people dressed up ike him. Some of vour friends miaht have even told you that there is no Santa. A lot of children think that, because they arent ready to BE a Santa yet, but YOU ARE Tell me the best things about Santa. What does Santa get for all of his trouble? [lead the kid from cookies to the good feeling of having done something for someone else]. Well, now YOU are ready to do your first job as a Santa!" Make sure you maintain the proper conspiratorial tone We then have the child choose someone they know-a neighbor, usually. Ihe child'S mission is to secretly, deviously, find out something that the person needs, and then provide it, wrap it, deliver it-and never reveal to the target where it came from. Being a Santa isn't about getting credit, you see. It's unselfish giving My oldest chose the "witch lady" on the corner. She really Was horrible--had a fence around the house and would never let the kids go in and get a stray ball or Frisbee. Shed yell at them to play quieter, etc--a real pill. He noticed when we drove to school that she came out every morning to get her paper in bare feet, so he decided she needed slippers. So then he had to go spy and decide how big her feet were. He hid in the bushes one Saturday, and decided she was a medium. We went to Kmart and bought warm slippers. He wrapped them up, and tagged it "merry Christmas from Santa. After dinner one evening, he slipped down to her house, and slid the package under her driveway gate. The next morning, we watched her waddle out to get the paper, pick up the present, and go inside. My son was all excited, and couldn't wait to see what would happen next. The next morning, as we drove off, there she was, out getting her paper--wearing the slippers. He was ecstatic. I had to remind him that NO ONE could ever know what he did, or he wouldn't be a Santa Over the years, he chose a good number of targets, always coming up with a unique present just for them. One year, he polished up his bike, put a new seat on it, and gave it to one of our friend's daughters. These people were and are very poor. We did ask the dad if it was ok The look on her face, when she saw the bike on the patio with a big bow on it, was almost as good as the look on my son's face When it came time for Son #2 to join the ranks, my oldest came along, and helpeo with the induction speech. They are both excellent gifters, by the way, and never felt that they had been lied to-because they were let in on the Secret of Beinga Santa ofmoonlightandthesun: libertarirynn: cunningcelt: hilarious-nefarious: Source This is bloody genius Love this. I’ve often thought about how to incorporate the magic of “Santa” with the real lessons in generosity as inspired by St. Nicholas. omg this is honestly such a sweet idea! Saving for future child.
Children, Christmas, and Cookies: "In our family, we have a special way of
 transitioning the kids from receiving from
 Santa, to becoming a Santa. This way, the
 Santa construct is not a lie that gets
 discovered, but an unfolding series of
 good deeds and Christmas spirit
 When they are 6 or 7, whenever you see
 that dawning suspicion that Santa may
 not be a material being, that means the
 child is ready
 | take them out "for coffee" at the local
 wherever. We get a booth, order our
 drinks, and the following pronouncement
 is made
 "You sure have arown an awful lot this
 year. Not only are you taller, but l can see
 that your heart has grown, too. [ Point out
 2-3 examples of empathetic behavior,
 consideration of people's feelings, good
 deeds etc, the kıd has done in the past
 year]. In fact, your heart has grown so
 much that I think you are ready to
 become a Santa Claus

 You probably have noticed that most of
 the Santas you see are people dressed up
 ike him. Some of vour friends miaht have
 even told you that there is no Santa. A lot
 of children think that, because they arent
 ready to BE a Santa yet, but YOU ARE
 Tell me the best things about Santa. What
 does Santa get for all of his trouble? [lead
 the kid from cookies to the good feeling
 of having done something for someone
 else]. Well, now YOU are ready to do your
 first job as a Santa!"
 Make sure you maintain the proper
 conspiratorial tone
 We then have the child choose someone
 they know-a neighbor, usually. Ihe child'S
 mission is to secretly, deviously, find out
 something that the person needs, and
 then provide it, wrap it, deliver it-and
 never reveal to the target where it came
 from. Being a Santa isn't about getting
 credit, you see. It's unselfish giving

 My oldest chose the "witch lady" on the
 corner. She really Was horrible--had a
 fence around the house and would never
 let the kids go in and get a stray ball or
 Frisbee. Shed yell at them to play quieter,
 etc--a real pill. He noticed when we drove
 to school that she came out every
 morning to get her paper in bare feet, so
 he decided she needed slippers. So then
 he had to go spy and decide how big her
 feet were. He hid in the bushes one
 Saturday, and decided she was a
 medium. We went to Kmart and bought
 warm slippers. He wrapped them up, and
 tagged it "merry Christmas from Santa.
 After dinner one evening, he slipped down
 to her house, and slid the package under
 her driveway gate. The next morning, we
 watched her waddle out to get the paper,
 pick up the present, and go inside. My son
 was all excited, and couldn't wait to see
 what would happen next. The next
 morning, as we drove off, there she was,
 out getting her paper--wearing the
 slippers. He was ecstatic. I had to remind
 him that NO ONE could ever know what
 he did, or he wouldn't be a Santa

 Over the years, he chose a good number
 of targets, always coming up with a
 unique present just for them. One year, he
 polished up his bike, put a new seat on it,
 and gave it to one of our friend's
 daughters. These people were and are
 very poor. We did ask the dad if it was ok
 The look on her face, when she saw the
 bike on the patio with a big bow on it, was
 almost as good as the look on my son's
 face
 When it came time for Son #2 to join the
 ranks, my oldest came along, and helpeo
 with the induction speech. They are both
 excellent gifters, by the way, and never
 felt that they had been lied to-because
 they were let in on the Secret of Beinga
 Santa
ofmoonlightandthesun:

libertarirynn:

cunningcelt:

hilarious-nefarious:
Source

This is bloody genius


Love this. I’ve often thought about how to incorporate the magic of “Santa” with the real lessons in generosity as inspired by St. Nicholas.

omg this is honestly such a sweet idea! Saving for future child.

ofmoonlightandthesun: libertarirynn: cunningcelt: hilarious-nefarious: Source This is bloody genius Love this. I’ve often thought abou...