The
The

The

lines
 lines

lines

want
 want

want

hands
 hands

hands

no
 no

no

their
their

their

sexs
sexs

sexs

overly
overly

overly

comming
comming

comming

overeating
overeating

overeating

馃敟 | Latest

the city: When my friends ask me to walk around the city two days after leg day. Gymaholic App: https://www.gymaholic.co #fitness #motivation #meme #workout #gymaholic
the city: When my friends ask me to walk around the city two days after leg day.  Gymaholic App: https://www.gymaholic.co  #fitness #motivation #meme #workout #gymaholic

When my friends ask me to walk around the city two days after leg day. Gymaholic App: https://www.gymaholic.co #fitness #motivation #me...

the city: we saved the city!
the city: we saved the city!

we saved the city!

the city: don鈥檛 overcomplicate it. Escape the city, eat/drink healthy, have babies.
the city: don鈥檛 overcomplicate it. Escape the city, eat/drink healthy, have babies.

don鈥檛 overcomplicate it. Escape the city, eat/drink healthy, have babies.

the city: Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix: The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex- periment with a new form called the tandem story The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home- work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para- graph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another para- graph to the story and send it back, also sending an- other copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab- solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any- thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a con- clusion has been reached." The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit. (Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per- manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news si- multaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and care- free, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec- onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em- pires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en- tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie. (Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin- istic semi-literate adolescent. Gary) Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!" Gary) B*tch. (Rebecca) F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea. A+ Ireally liked this one. epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of 鈥楳en Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus鈥
the city: Here's a prime example of "Men Are
 From Mars, Women Are From Venus"
 offered by an English professor from
 the University of Phoenix:
 The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex-
 periment with a new form called the tandem story
 The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the
 person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home-
 work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph
 of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para-
 graph and send another copy to me. The partner will
 read the first paragraph and then add another para-
 graph to the story and send it back, also sending an-
 other copy to me. The first person will then add a third
 paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.
 Remember to re-read what has been written each time
 in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab-
 solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any-
 thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail.
 The story is over when both agree a con-
 clusion has been reached."
 The following was actually turned in by two of his
 English students:
 Rebecca and Gary
 THE STORY:
 (first paragraph by Rebecca)
 At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea
 she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her
 favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded
 her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier
 times, that he liked chamomile.
 But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
 mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating,
 and if she thought about him too much her asthma
 started acting up again. So chamomile was out of
 the
 second paragraph by Gary)
 Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of
 the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4,
 had more important things to think about than the
 neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named
 Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night
 over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he
 said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar
 orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But
 before he could sign off a bluish particle beam
 flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through
 his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent
 him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit.
 (Rebecca)
 He bumped his head and died almost immediately,
 but not before he felt one last pang of regret for
 psychically brutalizing the one woman who had
 ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth
 stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace
 ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per-
 manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie
 read in her newspaper one morning. The news si-
 multaneously excited her and bored her. She
 stared out the window, dreaming of her youth,
 when the days had passed unhurriedly and care-
 free, with no newspaper to read, no television to
 distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at
 all the beautiful things around
 her. "Why must one
 lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
 pondered wistfully
 Gary)
 Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec-
 onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the
 Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its
 lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy
 peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace
 disarmament Treaty through the congress had left
 Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em-
 pires who were determined to destroy the human
 race. Within two hours after the passage of the
 treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for
 Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the
 With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated
 their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en-
 tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President,
 in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters
 on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
 inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized
 poor, stupid Laurie.
 (Rebecca)
 This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
 literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin-
 istic semi-literate adolescent.
 Gary)
 Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered
 tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the
 literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have
 chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of
 F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an
 air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle
 Steele novels!"
 Gary)
 B*tch.
 (Rebecca)
 F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI
 In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.
 A+
 Ireally liked this one.
epicjohndoe:

A Very Good Example Of 鈥楳en Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus鈥

epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of 鈥楳en Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus鈥

the city: Austin Gilkeson @osutein Bruce Wayne paying 90% taxes on income and capital gains over $10 million would do more to help Gotham than Batman ever could. Let's Talk Justice League! @letstalkjla 2d What's your most controversial opinion about Batman? despicabledeadpool: midnight-revelation: despicabledeadpool: Dude, he鈥檚 like, the ultimate philanthropist聽 Gotham, before Bruce Wayne returns to it, is literally falling apart and he all but single-handedly provides the funds necessary to maintain the infrastructure of the city. He keeps the hospitals up and running, prevents the schools from shutting down, keeps Gotham Police Department functional, and keeps organized crime out of Bl眉dhaven by rebuilding it and revitalizing the job sector. Philanthropic billionaire Bruce Wayne is responsible for this, not The Dark Knight Batman. He had absolutely no obligation to do any of this. He didn鈥檛 have to start The Martha Wayne Foundation or The Thomas Wayne Foundation or Wayne Medical or Wayne Industries. He did it because to save Gotham, it would take more than just Batman beating up on the bad guys, stopping organized crime, and getting rid of corrupt officials. Saving a city from crime means nothing if the city and its people are in physical and financial ruin when all is said and done. 鈹忊敁 聽鈹冣攦鈺扁暡 in this鈹冣暠鈺扁暡鈺 聽city鈺扁暠鈺暜鈺测暡 聽we 鈻斺枏鈹椻敍鈻曗枖 聽 聽appreciate鈺扁枖鈻斺枖鈻斺枖鈻斺枖鈻斺枖鈻斺暡 聽Bruce Wayne鈺扁暠鈹忊敵鈹撯暛鈺攺鈹斥敁 鈺测暡聽鈻斺枏鈹椻敾鈹涒攦鈹冣敆鈹烩敍鈻曗枖
the city: Austin Gilkeson
 @osutein
 Bruce Wayne paying 90% taxes on
 income and capital gains over $10
 million would do more to help Gotham
 than Batman ever could.
 Let's Talk Justice League! @letstalkjla 2d
 What's your most controversial opinion about
 Batman?
despicabledeadpool:

midnight-revelation:
despicabledeadpool:

Dude, he鈥檚 like, the ultimate philanthropist聽

Gotham, before Bruce Wayne returns to it, is literally falling apart and he all but single-handedly provides the funds necessary to maintain the infrastructure of the city. He keeps the hospitals up and running, prevents the schools from shutting down, keeps Gotham Police Department functional, and keeps organized crime out of Bl眉dhaven by rebuilding it and revitalizing the job sector. Philanthropic billionaire Bruce Wayne is responsible for this, not The Dark Knight Batman. He had absolutely no obligation to do any of this. He didn鈥檛 have to start The Martha Wayne Foundation or The Thomas Wayne Foundation or Wayne Medical or Wayne Industries. He did it because to save Gotham, it would take more than just Batman beating up on the bad guys, stopping organized crime, and getting rid of corrupt officials. Saving a city from crime means nothing if the city and its people are in physical and financial ruin when all is said and done.

鈹忊敁 聽鈹冣攦鈺扁暡 in this鈹冣暠鈺扁暡鈺 聽city鈺扁暠鈺暜鈺测暡 聽we 鈻斺枏鈹椻敍鈻曗枖 聽 聽appreciate鈺扁枖鈻斺枖鈻斺枖鈻斺枖鈻斺枖鈻斺暡 聽Bruce Wayne鈺扁暠鈹忊敵鈹撯暛鈺攺鈹斥敁 鈺测暡聽鈻斺枏鈹椻敾鈹涒攦鈹冣敆鈹烩敍鈻曗枖

despicabledeadpool: midnight-revelation: despicabledeadpool: Dude, he鈥檚 like, the ultimate philanthropist聽 Gotham, before Bruce Wayne...

the city: kxrxxly: iamezraxc: lauralulliby: gothdesss: pinky鈥揾eart: ressila: nothing鈥揵reaks-like-a-heart: alfrhedoo: lacinari: ixpaloa: ilove-cybershopping: The new trend is here! Unisex Glowing rings! 馃槏馃敟 Wear the vibrancy of the city! There is a certain energy that can be found out of nature and in the city. The bustle of people, the luminous neon and the pulsing nightlife can be felt in your very core. This urban spirit inspired us to create a new collection of rings that reflect the metropolitan. The perfect gift for your friends and family.聽馃槏馃敟 鈥> GET YOURS HERE <鈥 Omg these rings are so cute!!! i want all of them!!聽馃槏 Great rings at great prices. Fantastic communication and customer service. Will absolutely buy from again. Thank you so much. My whole order was great and I loved it all. *casually reblogs this so i don鈥檛 lose it* I want all of them!!! It looks amazing! I really recommend. @trasemc help we need all of them!聽馃挒馃挒 I love all of them! My boyfriend actually bought me one of these for our one year anniversary. 鈥.it鈥檚 so fucking bright that sometimes I have to take it off at night when I go to bed just so there鈥檚 not this big glowing patch in our bed. ITS SO CUTE THOUGH AND I LOVE IT! god I want one so baddddddddddd contemplating whether or not i want to get this for my girlfriend :)聽
the city: kxrxxly:

iamezraxc:
lauralulliby:

gothdesss:

pinky鈥揾eart:

ressila:

nothing鈥揵reaks-like-a-heart:

alfrhedoo:

lacinari:

ixpaloa:

ilove-cybershopping:

The new trend is here! Unisex Glowing rings! 馃槏馃敟
Wear the vibrancy of the city! There is a certain energy that can be found out of nature and in the city. The bustle of people, the luminous neon and the pulsing nightlife can be felt in your very core. This urban spirit inspired us to create a new collection of rings that reflect the metropolitan. The perfect gift for your friends and family.聽馃槏馃敟
鈥> GET YOURS HERE <鈥

Omg these rings are so cute!!! i want all of them!!聽馃槏

Great rings at great prices. Fantastic communication and customer service. Will absolutely buy from again. Thank you so much. My whole order was great and I loved it all.

*casually reblogs this so i don鈥檛 lose it*

I want all of them!!!

It looks amazing! I really recommend.

@trasemc help we need all of them!聽馃挒馃挒

I love all of them!


My boyfriend actually bought me one of these for our one year anniversary. 鈥.it鈥檚 so fucking bright that sometimes I have to take it off at night when I go to bed just so there鈥檚 not this big glowing patch in our bed. ITS SO CUTE THOUGH AND I LOVE IT!

god I want one so baddddddddddd

contemplating whether or not i want to get this for my girlfriend :)聽

kxrxxly: iamezraxc: lauralulliby: gothdesss: pinky鈥揾eart: ressila: nothing鈥揵reaks-like-a-heart: alfrhedoo: lacinari: ixpaloa: il...

the city: The City: Superheroes: 鈥淲e saved the city!鈥 The City:
the city: The City:
Superheroes: 鈥淲e saved the city!鈥 The City:

Superheroes: 鈥淲e saved the city!鈥 The City:

the city: arianod: rainbowbarnacle: alexander-lamington: gallusrostromegalus: jhaernyl: botanyshitposts: spirit-of-science: thebloggerbloggerfun: teafortrouble: eteo: fall-for-nothing: trickster-eridan: buttpilgrim: scientificperfection: kittiesinthemorning: I just don鈥檛 understand how this happened. But here鈥檚 a picture of a lemon from my backyard WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK when life gives yo菢袒态蛽蛶蹋虩泰苔廷 酮虃虁虇覊坛虡虧毯虁l蛧态坦虨袒胎蜁胎虠虙處桐虌庭蛦e蜋汰汰虪蹋虪虋虂桐虃虛虁峁兲浱嵦偼浱執弌虪酞酞亭蜅蜆n痰蛪蹋铜艇炭艇蜎虁s谭虪蛻同瞳挺虆汀 谈蛺亭蜆覊苔毯M贪坦蜋蛧彤虊瞳蛥圈袒虜虆虈虘铜蜎蛬蜆K虪袒太踏虈虁庭E蛡酮蛷瘫踏蜌蜁 虨蛿虦态虘童蛻廷蛥艦蛿苔泰坛蹋號彤蛫通A蛨虛蛡虉虂虁虁虤蜆C獭虪虩蛪酮蛦虜亭蛡酮R态蜋蜁酮虁蜖抹痰號蜌虘虋虛虂F蛶蜁虅I同艇虁虃虘酮蜔蛷檀酞踏蛥C挞贪虧蛽虠蜎同虜虓虛虂虂虤虤岣樚短犔疤程┨程娡囂囂毺昐袒蜄蹋贪虙虉蜔 it鈥檚 back Satan lemon every villain is lemons And finally, dear listeners, a reminder; several concerned citizens have brought to the city鈥檚 attention an irregularity surrounding this summer鈥檚 citrus harvest. City council would like to remind all enterprising fruit pickers to exercise reasonable caution when acquiring these fruits. Grasp the fruit firmly around its circumference, pull slowly but steadily to avoid damaging the tree, and under no circumstances heed its demands of you. Do not acknowledge or obey the depraved whisperings of the demon fruit. And now: The Weather. This kind of looks like a Buddha鈥檚 hand to me they鈥檙e a type of Citron, a citrus closely related to lemons. I wonder if whatever causes that twistedness in Buddha鈥檚 hands is present but dormant/recessive in other citruses? @botanyshitposts do you know about this? a lot of people having been messaging me about this, and honestly i had no idea that Buddha鈥檚 hands existed and it totally seems likely to me??? like honestly that seems like a really plausible explanation, especially because when we look at the demon fruit, the twisty聽鈥榓rms鈥 are going off in all different directions when the only place i can see a twisty arm happening on a lemon is on the top. like if the fruit is developing from the original growth point into a body then why are the offshoots developing the opposite way, from a body into a twisty thing? when in a Buddha鈥檚 hand, it totally makes sense because the twisty things are growing outward anyway.聽 im no pomologist but the similarities in the growth patterns really do reflect in The Demon Fruit.聽 @gallusrostromegalus WAIT I KNOW THIS ONE! The short version is that Citrus is a slutty, slutty genus of plants that can knock up pretty much any other member of the genus and uh鈥 it鈥檚 mots recent relative as of 7 million years ago, becuase why not. Usually that makes for tasty children like tangerines and whatnot, but sometimes Weird Shit happens. All modern citrus are descended from Mandrin oranges, Pumelos and Etrogs, the latter being closest to lemons and which looks like this: It鈥檚 big and lumpy and mostly pith but also tasty as hell so Ye Ancient Malay Archipeligo Orchard Guy gets to breeding these for more tasty innards, presumable inventing lemonade in the process.聽 YAMAOG also finds out that it鈥檚 REALLY easy to seriously mess with the overall appearence of the fruit of these very inbred etrogs, and starts breeding all kinds of nonsense, like Bhudda鈥檚 palms, Modern Lemons and Grapefruit. YAMAOG also noticed that in addition to the occasional ugly inbred mule child, you can also get really strange looking fruit if the tree gets sick, is malnourished, if any part of the flower is damaged, or if the weather just sucks that year.聽 In addition to being a Major Slut, Citrus is also a Fussy Bitch. Looking at the Demon Fruit, my best guesses are If you鈥檝e had weird-shaped fruits off that tree before, you might have a very strange hybrid tree like the dachsund-pitbull one of my neighbors owns. If it鈥檚 only the one fruit, and your tree is producing otherwise normal lemons, that particular flower or branch took some kind of damage or had a viral infection, which fucked up all the hormones and hence your lemon has gone all Ending-Of-Akira on you. GOOD NEWS FOR BOTH SCENARIOS: unless the fruit looks like it鈥檚 actually rotting, it鈥檚 safe to eat!聽 weird fruit shapes in lemons pretty much never makes them dangerous, just maybe a bit more tart than usual. Enjoy a nice glass of demonfruit juice! @motorizedduck relevant
the city: arianod:
rainbowbarnacle:

alexander-lamington:

gallusrostromegalus:

jhaernyl:

botanyshitposts:


spirit-of-science:

thebloggerbloggerfun:

teafortrouble:

eteo:

fall-for-nothing:

trickster-eridan:

buttpilgrim:

scientificperfection:

kittiesinthemorning:

I just don鈥檛 understand how this happened. But here鈥檚 a picture of a lemon from my backyard

WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK

when life gives yo菢袒态蛽蛶蹋虩泰苔廷 酮虃虁虇覊坛虡虧毯虁l蛧态坦虨袒胎蜁胎虠虙處桐虌庭蛦e蜋汰汰虪蹋虪虋虂桐虃虛虁峁兲浱嵦偼浱執弌虪酞酞亭蜅蜆n痰蛪蹋铜艇炭艇蜎虁s谭虪蛻同瞳挺虆汀 谈蛺亭蜆覊苔毯M贪坦蜋蛧彤虊瞳蛥圈袒虜虆虈虘铜蜎蛬蜆K虪袒太踏虈虁庭E蛡酮蛷瘫踏蜌蜁 虨蛿虦态虘童蛻廷蛥艦蛿苔泰坛蹋號彤蛫通A蛨虛蛡虉虂虁虁虤蜆C獭虪虩蛪酮蛦虜亭蛡酮R态蜋蜁酮虁蜖抹痰號蜌虘虋虛虂F蛶蜁虅I同艇虁虃虘酮蜔蛷檀酞踏蛥C挞贪虧蛽虠蜎同虜虓虛虂虂虤虤岣樚短犔疤程┨程娡囂囂毺昐袒蜄蹋贪虙虉蜔

it鈥檚 back

Satan lemon

every villain is lemons

And finally, dear listeners, a reminder; several concerned citizens have brought to the city鈥檚 attention an irregularity surrounding this summer鈥檚 citrus harvest. City council would like to remind all enterprising fruit pickers to exercise reasonable caution when acquiring these fruits. Grasp the fruit firmly around its circumference, pull slowly but steadily to avoid damaging the tree, and under no circumstances heed its demands of you. Do not acknowledge or obey the depraved whisperings of the demon fruit.

And now: The Weather.

This kind of looks like a Buddha鈥檚 hand to me
they鈥檙e a type of Citron, a citrus closely related to lemons. I wonder if whatever causes that twistedness in Buddha鈥檚 hands is present but dormant/recessive in other citruses?

@botanyshitposts do you know about this?

a lot of people having been messaging me about this, and honestly i had no idea that Buddha鈥檚 hands existed and it totally seems likely to me??? like honestly that seems like a really plausible explanation, especially because when we look at the demon fruit, the twisty聽鈥榓rms鈥 are going off in all different directions when the only place i can see a twisty arm happening on a lemon is on the top. like if the fruit is developing from the original growth point into a body then why are the offshoots developing the opposite way, from a body into a twisty thing? when in a Buddha鈥檚 hand, it totally makes sense because the twisty things are growing outward anyway.聽
im no pomologist but the similarities in the growth patterns really do reflect in The Demon Fruit.聽


@gallusrostromegalus 

WAIT I KNOW THIS ONE!
The short version is that Citrus is a slutty, slutty genus of plants that can knock up pretty much any other member of the genus and uh鈥 it鈥檚 mots recent relative as of 7 million years ago, becuase why not. Usually that makes for tasty children like tangerines and whatnot, but sometimes Weird Shit happens.
All modern citrus are descended from Mandrin oranges, Pumelos and Etrogs, the latter being closest to lemons and which looks like this:
It鈥檚 big and lumpy and mostly pith but also tasty as hell so Ye Ancient Malay Archipeligo Orchard Guy gets to breeding these for more tasty innards, presumable inventing lemonade in the process.聽 YAMAOG also finds out that it鈥檚 REALLY easy to seriously mess with the overall appearence of the fruit of these very inbred etrogs, and starts breeding all kinds of nonsense, like Bhudda鈥檚 palms, Modern Lemons and Grapefruit.
YAMAOG also noticed that in addition to the occasional ugly inbred mule child, you can also get really strange looking fruit if the tree gets sick, is malnourished, if any part of the flower is damaged, or if the weather just sucks that year.聽 In addition to being a Major Slut, Citrus is also a Fussy Bitch.
Looking at the Demon Fruit, my best guesses are
If you鈥檝e had weird-shaped fruits off that tree before, you might have a very strange hybrid tree like the dachsund-pitbull one of my neighbors owns.
If it鈥檚 only the one fruit, and your tree is producing otherwise normal lemons, that particular flower or branch took some kind of damage or had a viral infection, which fucked up all the hormones and hence your lemon has gone all Ending-Of-Akira on you.
GOOD NEWS FOR BOTH SCENARIOS: unless the fruit looks like it鈥檚 actually rotting, it鈥檚 safe to eat!聽 weird fruit shapes in lemons pretty much never makes them dangerous, just maybe a bit more tart than usual.
Enjoy a nice glass of demonfruit juice!



@motorizedduck

relevant

arianod: rainbowbarnacle: alexander-lamington: gallusrostromegalus: jhaernyl: botanyshitposts: spirit-of-science: thebloggerblogge...

the city: kxrxxly: iamezraxc: lauralulliby: gothdesss: pinky鈥揾eart: ressila: nothing鈥揵reaks-like-a-heart: alfrhedoo: lacinari: ixpaloa: ilove-cybershopping: The new trend is here! Unisex Glowing rings! 馃槏馃敟 Wear the vibrancy of the city! There is a certain energy that can be found out of nature and in the city. The bustle of people, the luminous neon and the pulsing nightlife can be felt in your very core. This urban spirit inspired us to create a new collection of rings that reflect the metropolitan. The perfect gift for your friends and family.聽馃槏馃敟 鈥> GET YOURS HERE <鈥 Omg these rings are so cute!!! i want all of them!!聽馃槏 Great rings at great prices. Fantastic communication and customer service. Will absolutely buy from again. Thank you so much. My whole order was great and I loved it all. *casually reblogs this so i don鈥檛 lose it* I want all of them!!! It looks amazing! I really recommend. @trasemc help we need all of them!聽馃挒馃挒 I love all of them! My boyfriend actually bought me one of these for our one year anniversary. 鈥.it鈥檚 so fucking bright that sometimes I have to take it off at night when I go to bed just so there鈥檚 not this big glowing patch in our bed. ITS SO CUTE THOUGH AND I LOVE IT! god I want one so baddddddddddd contemplating whether or not i want to get this for my girlfriend :)聽
the city: kxrxxly:

iamezraxc:
lauralulliby:

gothdesss:

pinky鈥揾eart:

ressila:

nothing鈥揵reaks-like-a-heart:

alfrhedoo:

lacinari:

ixpaloa:

ilove-cybershopping:

The new trend is here! Unisex Glowing rings! 馃槏馃敟
Wear the vibrancy of the city! There is a certain energy that can be found out of nature and in the city. The bustle of people, the luminous neon and the pulsing nightlife can be felt in your very core. This urban spirit inspired us to create a new collection of rings that reflect the metropolitan. The perfect gift for your friends and family.聽馃槏馃敟
鈥> GET YOURS HERE <鈥

Omg these rings are so cute!!! i want all of them!!聽馃槏

Great rings at great prices. Fantastic communication and customer service. Will absolutely buy from again. Thank you so much. My whole order was great and I loved it all.

*casually reblogs this so i don鈥檛 lose it*

I want all of them!!!

It looks amazing! I really recommend.

@trasemc help we need all of them!聽馃挒馃挒

I love all of them!


My boyfriend actually bought me one of these for our one year anniversary. 鈥.it鈥檚 so fucking bright that sometimes I have to take it off at night when I go to bed just so there鈥檚 not this big glowing patch in our bed. ITS SO CUTE THOUGH AND I LOVE IT!

god I want one so baddddddddddd

contemplating whether or not i want to get this for my girlfriend :)聽

kxrxxly: iamezraxc: lauralulliby: gothdesss: pinky鈥揾eart: ressila: nothing鈥揵reaks-like-a-heart: alfrhedoo: lacinari: ixpaloa: il...

the city: Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix: The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex- periment with a new form called the tandem story The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home- work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para- graph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another para- graph to the story and send it back, also sending an- other copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab- solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any- thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a con- clusion has been reached." The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit. (Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per- manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news si- multaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and care- free, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec- onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em- pires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en- tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie. (Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin- istic semi-literate adolescent. Gary) Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!" Gary) B*tch. (Rebecca) F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea. A+ Ireally liked this one. epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of 鈥楳en Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus鈥
the city: Here's a prime example of "Men Are
 From Mars, Women Are From Venus"
 offered by an English professor from
 the University of Phoenix:
 The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex-
 periment with a new form called the tandem story
 The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the
 person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home-
 work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph
 of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para-
 graph and send another copy to me. The partner will
 read the first paragraph and then add another para-
 graph to the story and send it back, also sending an-
 other copy to me. The first person will then add a third
 paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.
 Remember to re-read what has been written each time
 in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab-
 solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any-
 thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail.
 The story is over when both agree a con-
 clusion has been reached."
 The following was actually turned in by two of his
 English students:
 Rebecca and Gary
 THE STORY:
 (first paragraph by Rebecca)
 At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea
 she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her
 favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded
 her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier
 times, that he liked chamomile.
 But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
 mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating,
 and if she thought about him too much her asthma
 started acting up again. So chamomile was out of
 the
 second paragraph by Gary)
 Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of
 the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4,
 had more important things to think about than the
 neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named
 Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night
 over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he
 said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar
 orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But
 before he could sign off a bluish particle beam
 flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through
 his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent
 him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit.
 (Rebecca)
 He bumped his head and died almost immediately,
 but not before he felt one last pang of regret for
 psychically brutalizing the one woman who had
 ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth
 stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace
 ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per-
 manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie
 read in her newspaper one morning. The news si-
 multaneously excited her and bored her. She
 stared out the window, dreaming of her youth,
 when the days had passed unhurriedly and care-
 free, with no newspaper to read, no television to
 distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at
 all the beautiful things around
 her. "Why must one
 lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
 pondered wistfully
 Gary)
 Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec-
 onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the
 Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its
 lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy
 peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace
 disarmament Treaty through the congress had left
 Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em-
 pires who were determined to destroy the human
 race. Within two hours after the passage of the
 treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for
 Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the
 With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated
 their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en-
 tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President,
 in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters
 on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
 inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized
 poor, stupid Laurie.
 (Rebecca)
 This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
 literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin-
 istic semi-literate adolescent.
 Gary)
 Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered
 tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the
 literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have
 chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of
 F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an
 air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle
 Steele novels!"
 Gary)
 B*tch.
 (Rebecca)
 F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI
 In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.
 A+
 Ireally liked this one.
epicjohndoe:

A Very Good Example Of 鈥楳en Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus鈥

epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of 鈥楳en Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus鈥

the city: arianod: rainbowbarnacle: alexander-lamington: gallusrostromegalus: jhaernyl: botanyshitposts: spirit-of-science: thebloggerbloggerfun: teafortrouble: eteo: fall-for-nothing: trickster-eridan: buttpilgrim: scientificperfection: kittiesinthemorning: I just don鈥檛 understand how this happened. But here鈥檚 a picture of a lemon from my backyard WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK when life gives yo菢袒态蛽蛶蹋虩泰苔廷 酮虃虁虇覊坛虡虧毯虁l蛧态坦虨袒胎蜁胎虠虙處桐虌庭蛦e蜋汰汰虪蹋虪虋虂桐虃虛虁峁兲浱嵦偼浱執弌虪酞酞亭蜅蜆n痰蛪蹋铜艇炭艇蜎虁s谭虪蛻同瞳挺虆汀 谈蛺亭蜆覊苔毯M贪坦蜋蛧彤虊瞳蛥圈袒虜虆虈虘铜蜎蛬蜆K虪袒太踏虈虁庭E蛡酮蛷瘫踏蜌蜁 虨蛿虦态虘童蛻廷蛥艦蛿苔泰坛蹋號彤蛫通A蛨虛蛡虉虂虁虁虤蜆C獭虪虩蛪酮蛦虜亭蛡酮R态蜋蜁酮虁蜖抹痰號蜌虘虋虛虂F蛶蜁虅I同艇虁虃虘酮蜔蛷檀酞踏蛥C挞贪虧蛽虠蜎同虜虓虛虂虂虤虤岣樚短犔疤程┨程娡囂囂毺昐袒蜄蹋贪虙虉蜔 it鈥檚 back Satan lemon every villain is lemons And finally, dear listeners, a reminder; several concerned citizens have brought to the city鈥檚 attention an irregularity surrounding this summer鈥檚 citrus harvest. City council would like to remind all enterprising fruit pickers to exercise reasonable caution when acquiring these fruits. Grasp the fruit firmly around its circumference, pull slowly but steadily to avoid damaging the tree, and under no circumstances heed its demands of you. Do not acknowledge or obey the depraved whisperings of the demon fruit. And now: The Weather. This kind of looks like a Buddha鈥檚 hand to me they鈥檙e a type of Citron, a citrus closely related to lemons. I wonder if whatever causes that twistedness in Buddha鈥檚 hands is present but dormant/recessive in other citruses? @botanyshitposts do you know about this? a lot of people having been messaging me about this, and honestly i had no idea that Buddha鈥檚 hands existed and it totally seems likely to me??? like honestly that seems like a really plausible explanation, especially because when we look at the demon fruit, the twisty聽鈥榓rms鈥 are going off in all different directions when the only place i can see a twisty arm happening on a lemon is on the top. like if the fruit is developing from the original growth point into a body then why are the offshoots developing the opposite way, from a body into a twisty thing? when in a Buddha鈥檚 hand, it totally makes sense because the twisty things are growing outward anyway.聽 im no pomologist but the similarities in the growth patterns really do reflect in The Demon Fruit.聽 @gallusrostromegalus WAIT I KNOW THIS ONE! The short version is that Citrus is a slutty, slutty genus of plants that can knock up pretty much any other member of the genus and uh鈥 it鈥檚 mots recent relative as of 7 million years ago, becuase why not. Usually that makes for tasty children like tangerines and whatnot, but sometimes Weird Shit happens. All modern citrus are descended from Mandrin oranges, Pumelos and Etrogs, the latter being closest to lemons and which looks like this: It鈥檚 big and lumpy and mostly pith but also tasty as hell so Ye Ancient Malay Archipeligo Orchard Guy gets to breeding these for more tasty innards, presumable inventing lemonade in the process.聽 YAMAOG also finds out that it鈥檚 REALLY easy to seriously mess with the overall appearence of the fruit of these very inbred etrogs, and starts breeding all kinds of nonsense, like Bhudda鈥檚 palms, Modern Lemons and Grapefruit. YAMAOG also noticed that in addition to the occasional ugly inbred mule child, you can also get really strange looking fruit if the tree gets sick, is malnourished, if any part of the flower is damaged, or if the weather just sucks that year.聽 In addition to being a Major Slut, Citrus is also a Fussy Bitch. Looking at the Demon Fruit, my best guesses are If you鈥檝e had weird-shaped fruits off that tree before, you might have a very strange hybrid tree like the dachsund-pitbull one of my neighbors owns. If it鈥檚 only the one fruit, and your tree is producing otherwise normal lemons, that particular flower or branch took some kind of damage or had a viral infection, which fucked up all the hormones and hence your lemon has gone all Ending-Of-Akira on you. GOOD NEWS FOR BOTH SCENARIOS: unless the fruit looks like it鈥檚 actually rotting, it鈥檚 safe to eat!聽 weird fruit shapes in lemons pretty much never makes them dangerous, just maybe a bit more tart than usual. Enjoy a nice glass of demonfruit juice! @motorizedduck relevant
the city: arianod:

rainbowbarnacle:

alexander-lamington:

gallusrostromegalus:

jhaernyl:

botanyshitposts:


spirit-of-science:

thebloggerbloggerfun:

teafortrouble:

eteo:

fall-for-nothing:

trickster-eridan:

buttpilgrim:

scientificperfection:

kittiesinthemorning:

I just don鈥檛 understand how this happened. But here鈥檚 a picture of a lemon from my backyard

WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK

when life gives yo菢袒态蛽蛶蹋虩泰苔廷 酮虃虁虇覊坛虡虧毯虁l蛧态坦虨袒胎蜁胎虠虙處桐虌庭蛦e蜋汰汰虪蹋虪虋虂桐虃虛虁峁兲浱嵦偼浱執弌虪酞酞亭蜅蜆n痰蛪蹋铜艇炭艇蜎虁s谭虪蛻同瞳挺虆汀 谈蛺亭蜆覊苔毯M贪坦蜋蛧彤虊瞳蛥圈袒虜虆虈虘铜蜎蛬蜆K虪袒太踏虈虁庭E蛡酮蛷瘫踏蜌蜁 虨蛿虦态虘童蛻廷蛥艦蛿苔泰坛蹋號彤蛫通A蛨虛蛡虉虂虁虁虤蜆C獭虪虩蛪酮蛦虜亭蛡酮R态蜋蜁酮虁蜖抹痰號蜌虘虋虛虂F蛶蜁虅I同艇虁虃虘酮蜔蛷檀酞踏蛥C挞贪虧蛽虠蜎同虜虓虛虂虂虤虤岣樚短犔疤程┨程娡囂囂毺昐袒蜄蹋贪虙虉蜔

it鈥檚 back

Satan lemon

every villain is lemons

And finally, dear listeners, a reminder; several concerned citizens have brought to the city鈥檚 attention an irregularity surrounding this summer鈥檚 citrus harvest. City council would like to remind all enterprising fruit pickers to exercise reasonable caution when acquiring these fruits. Grasp the fruit firmly around its circumference, pull slowly but steadily to avoid damaging the tree, and under no circumstances heed its demands of you. Do not acknowledge or obey the depraved whisperings of the demon fruit.

And now: The Weather.

This kind of looks like a Buddha鈥檚 hand to me
they鈥檙e a type of Citron, a citrus closely related to lemons. I wonder if whatever causes that twistedness in Buddha鈥檚 hands is present but dormant/recessive in other citruses?

@botanyshitposts do you know about this?

a lot of people having been messaging me about this, and honestly i had no idea that Buddha鈥檚 hands existed and it totally seems likely to me??? like honestly that seems like a really plausible explanation, especially because when we look at the demon fruit, the twisty聽鈥榓rms鈥 are going off in all different directions when the only place i can see a twisty arm happening on a lemon is on the top. like if the fruit is developing from the original growth point into a body then why are the offshoots developing the opposite way, from a body into a twisty thing? when in a Buddha鈥檚 hand, it totally makes sense because the twisty things are growing outward anyway.聽
im no pomologist but the similarities in the growth patterns really do reflect in The Demon Fruit.聽


@gallusrostromegalus 

WAIT I KNOW THIS ONE!
The short version is that Citrus is a slutty, slutty genus of plants that can knock up pretty much any other member of the genus and uh鈥 it鈥檚 mots recent relative as of 7 million years ago, becuase why not. Usually that makes for tasty children like tangerines and whatnot, but sometimes Weird Shit happens.
All modern citrus are descended from Mandrin oranges, Pumelos and Etrogs, the latter being closest to lemons and which looks like this:
It鈥檚 big and lumpy and mostly pith but also tasty as hell so Ye Ancient Malay Archipeligo Orchard Guy gets to breeding these for more tasty innards, presumable inventing lemonade in the process.聽 YAMAOG also finds out that it鈥檚 REALLY easy to seriously mess with the overall appearence of the fruit of these very inbred etrogs, and starts breeding all kinds of nonsense, like Bhudda鈥檚 palms, Modern Lemons and Grapefruit.
YAMAOG also noticed that in addition to the occasional ugly inbred mule child, you can also get really strange looking fruit if the tree gets sick, is malnourished, if any part of the flower is damaged, or if the weather just sucks that year.聽 In addition to being a Major Slut, Citrus is also a Fussy Bitch.
Looking at the Demon Fruit, my best guesses are
If you鈥檝e had weird-shaped fruits off that tree before, you might have a very strange hybrid tree like the dachsund-pitbull one of my neighbors owns.
If it鈥檚 only the one fruit, and your tree is producing otherwise normal lemons, that particular flower or branch took some kind of damage or had a viral infection, which fucked up all the hormones and hence your lemon has gone all Ending-Of-Akira on you.
GOOD NEWS FOR BOTH SCENARIOS: unless the fruit looks like it鈥檚 actually rotting, it鈥檚 safe to eat!聽 weird fruit shapes in lemons pretty much never makes them dangerous, just maybe a bit more tart than usual.
Enjoy a nice glass of demonfruit juice!



@motorizedduck

relevant

arianod: rainbowbarnacle: alexander-lamington: gallusrostromegalus: jhaernyl: botanyshitposts: spirit-of-science: thebloggerblogg...