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Mario
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funny memes
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super: shittymoviedetails: In the movie Despicable Me (2010), we can see the reason why vector calls himself a super villain as he isn’t wearing his Wii remote safety strap
super: shittymoviedetails:

In the movie Despicable Me (2010), we can see the reason why vector calls himself a super villain as he isn’t wearing his Wii remote safety strap

shittymoviedetails: In the movie Despicable Me (2010), we can see the reason why vector calls himself a super villain as he isn’t wearin...

super: inquisitorhotpants: burntcopper: futureevilscientist: optimysticals: uovoc: konec0: sleepyferret: shitfacedanon: dat-soldier: sonnetscrewdriver: dat-soldier: did-you-kno: Source back the fuck up There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up. So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him. The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off. Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes. did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out This just keeps getting better I fucking love history. ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yi… OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire. The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponent’s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, y’know, kinda sucked. On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like “shit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.” Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And that’s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap When Sima Yi comes he’s all like “yo come on in bro” and Sima Yi is like “yeah he’s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluff” and he’s about to head in when he realizes wait. he knows that i think he’s bluffing. and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like “he know that I know that he knows that etc.”), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave. Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan was based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, there’s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat.  and that’s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely just to deceive one man, and it worked. Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his side’s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river. Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy.  Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then he’s like, ”Ok guys that’s enough.” They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemy’s arrows. Zhuge Liang is legend. I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History. If you want to see this in cinematic glory, watch Red Cliff. Especially since it makes Zhuge Liang look like this: Red Cliff is 50% bloody battles and 50% eye candy and about half of that eye-candy is due to Zhuge Liang I fully support watching Red Cliff; it’s gloriously silly entertainment during the battle scenes. Guess what just got moved to the top of my watch list?? :D
super: inquisitorhotpants:

burntcopper:

futureevilscientist:

optimysticals:

uovoc:

konec0:

sleepyferret:

shitfacedanon:

dat-soldier:

sonnetscrewdriver:

dat-soldier:

did-you-kno:

Source


back the fuck up


There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up.
So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him.
The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off.
Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes.


did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out


This just keeps getting better

I fucking love history.

ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok
so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yi… OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire.
The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponent’s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, y’know, kinda sucked.
On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like “shit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.” Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And that’s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap
When Sima Yi comes he’s all like “yo come on in bro”
and Sima Yi is like “yeah he’s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluff” and he’s about to head in when he realizes
wait. he knows that i think he’s bluffing.
and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like “he know that I know that he knows that etc.”), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave.
Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan was based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, there’s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat. 
and that’s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely just to deceive one man, and it worked.

Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his side’s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river.
Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy. 
Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then he’s like, ”Ok guys that’s enough.” They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemy’s arrows.
Zhuge Liang is legend.

I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History.

If you want to see this in cinematic glory, watch Red Cliff.
Especially since it makes Zhuge Liang look like this:
Red Cliff is 50% bloody battles and 50% eye candy and about half of that eye-candy is due to Zhuge Liang

I fully support watching Red Cliff; it’s gloriously silly entertainment during the battle scenes.

Guess what just got moved to the top of my watch list?? :D

inquisitorhotpants: burntcopper: futureevilscientist: optimysticals: uovoc: konec0: sleepyferret: shitfacedanon: dat-soldier: so...

super: lyrica-in-nerdvana: daysofstorm: pilgrim-soulinyou: jeremyyyallan: fagraklett: Chinese emperor Ai of Han, fell in love with a minor official, a man named Dong Xian, and bestowed upon him great political power and a magnificent palace. Legend has it that one day while the two men were sleeping in the same bed, the emperor was roused from his sleep by pressing business. Dong Xian had fallen asleep across the emperor’s robe, but rather than awaken his peaceful lover, the Emperor cut his robe free at the sleeve. Thus “the passion of the cut sleeve” became a euphemism for same-sex love in China. — R.G.L. get you a dude who will fuck up his own clothing for you NO OKAY THIS IS REALLY COOL SO SHUT UP AND LISTEN KIDS. Ancient China was super chill about homosexuality okay. Like we have gay emperors and feudal lords, lesbian princesses who were girlfriends with their serving maids, gay ass poets who wrote lots of poems about that one courtesan who played the guzheng so well.In fact homosexuality was so okay that in Shiji, which is basically the Bible of Ancient Chinese history, there is an entire section dedicated to the gay lovers of emperors. What’s the best part? All the laws and criticism about homosexuality in Ancient China were all about shit like prostitution and rape. These laws were  outlawing homosexual stuff were all very specific. For example, there were laws banning male prostitution, but no laws against homosexuality. These laws were passed to stop the spread of prostitution and laws targeting prostitution in general were pretty common in Chinese history. There were also really strict laws about male rape. Rape was punishable by death, regardless of the gender of the victim. Rape a girl, you die. Rape a guy, you die. Have sex with a minor, you die regardless of whether it was consensual. The lightest sentence you could get was slavery where you were bound to the army.Also scholars wrote essays criticising the boyfriends of emperors, saying that they distracted the emperor from work blah blah blah but THEY ALSO DID THE SAME FOR THE CONCUBINES. That’s right - the issue wasn’t homosexuality but rather the hormones of the emperor. They didn’t care about the gender of the emperor’s favourite lover but rather the fact that the emperor was too horny to get shit done.“But WAIT, Modern China is a hardass about homosexuality!!!! How do you explain that!”Yes. That. That’s because of the late Qing years where Western influences entered the country and brought their gross ass homophobic attitudes with them. And the Qing government was so anxious to seem modern and be seen as equals to their Western counterparts. So they adopted Western ways and discarded their previous attitudes about homosexuality. Hence you have Modern China.So the next time someone tries to tell you that being LGBT is wrong because it goes against traditional Chinese values, tell them to go fuck themselves with 3000 years of Chinese queerness.  Here are all the illustrations of historical gay couples by Ryan Grant https://www.advocate.com/arts-entertainment/artist-spotlight/2012/08/11/ryan-grant-longs-history-gay-love#slide-0 This is one of the best things I have ever read.
super: lyrica-in-nerdvana:
daysofstorm:

pilgrim-soulinyou:

jeremyyyallan:

fagraklett:

Chinese emperor Ai of Han, fell in love with a minor official, a man named Dong Xian, and bestowed upon him great political power and a magnificent palace. Legend has it that one day while the two men were sleeping in the same bed, the emperor was roused from his sleep by pressing business. Dong Xian had fallen asleep across the emperor’s robe, but rather than awaken his peaceful lover, the Emperor cut his robe free at the sleeve. Thus “the passion of the cut sleeve” became a euphemism for same-sex love in China. — R.G.L.


get you a dude who will fuck up his own clothing for you

NO OKAY THIS IS REALLY COOL SO SHUT UP AND LISTEN KIDS. Ancient China was super chill about homosexuality okay. Like we have gay emperors and feudal lords, lesbian princesses who were girlfriends with their serving maids, gay ass poets who wrote lots of poems about that one courtesan who played the guzheng so well.In fact homosexuality was so okay that in Shiji, which is basically the Bible of Ancient Chinese history, there is an entire section dedicated to the gay lovers of emperors. What’s the best part? All the laws and criticism about homosexuality in Ancient China were all about shit like prostitution and rape. These laws were  outlawing homosexual stuff were all very specific. For example, there were laws banning male prostitution, but no laws against homosexuality. These laws were passed to stop the spread of prostitution and laws targeting prostitution in general were pretty common in Chinese history. There were also really strict laws about male rape. Rape was punishable by death, regardless of the gender of the victim. Rape a girl, you die. Rape a guy, you die. Have sex with a minor, you die regardless of whether it was consensual. The lightest sentence you could get was slavery where you were bound to the army.Also scholars wrote essays criticising the boyfriends of emperors, saying that they distracted the emperor from work blah blah blah but THEY ALSO DID THE SAME FOR THE CONCUBINES. That’s right - the issue wasn’t homosexuality but rather the hormones of the emperor. They didn’t care about the gender of the emperor’s favourite lover but rather the fact that the emperor was too horny to get shit done.“But WAIT, Modern China is a hardass about homosexuality!!!! How do you explain that!”Yes. That. That’s because of the late Qing years where Western influences entered the country and brought their gross ass homophobic attitudes with them. And the Qing government was so anxious to seem modern and be seen as equals to their Western counterparts. So they adopted Western ways and discarded their previous attitudes about homosexuality. Hence you have Modern China.So the next time someone tries to tell you that being LGBT is wrong because it goes against traditional Chinese values, tell them to go fuck themselves with 3000 years of Chinese queerness. 

Here are all the illustrations of historical gay couples by Ryan Grant https://www.advocate.com/arts-entertainment/artist-spotlight/2012/08/11/ryan-grant-longs-history-gay-love#slide-0


This is one of the best things I have ever read.

lyrica-in-nerdvana: daysofstorm: pilgrim-soulinyou: jeremyyyallan: fagraklett: Chinese emperor Ai of Han, fell in love with a minor o...

super: Windows has a super power.
super: Windows has a super power.

Windows has a super power.

super: Asymptomatic Super spreaders on the loose by tia-alex- MORE MEMES
super: Asymptomatic Super spreaders on the loose by tia-alex-
MORE MEMES

Asymptomatic Super spreaders on the loose by tia-alex- MORE MEMES

super: Asymptomatic Super spreaders on the loose
super: Asymptomatic Super spreaders on the loose

Asymptomatic Super spreaders on the loose

super: Super funny.
super: Super funny.

Super funny.

super: Just super-hero chitchat
super: Just super-hero chitchat

Just super-hero chitchat

super: cursed-40k-thoughts: randomnightlord: cursed-40k-thoughts: randomnightlord: a-40k-author: The new art of Warhammer 40000.  Blood Angels with a glowing coffin? Don’t tell me GW will bring back Sanguinius. I honestly would quite like that, providing they do a good job of narratively justifying and explaining it. The follow up potential of Roboute and Lion and even the traitor Primarchs getting to see/interact with the brother they all saw as the best of them would be super interesting. Providing, again it was done well.That said, I’m also kind of into the idea that the new C’tan-looking angel thing the Necrons have is some kind of AI replication of Sangy, given it has the wings and a big spear and we know Necrontyr would make AI personalities of dead people they deeply respected, and that Szarekh really liked Sangy and thought he would have been a good Emperor.Super unlikely, but I digress. If it’s done well, Sanguinius coming back would be pretty damned cool. I mean….I guess?I would just be kinda salty if the damn Angel would return before any new Night Lords content releases.Yes I know I am beating a dead bat at this point but still I mean, yeah, obviously loyalist Astartes oversaturation remains a pertinent and ongoing issue. I’ve been fairly vocal about that multiple times. I’m just saying that the narrative potential surrounding a Sanguinius comeback is promising. I’m intimately aware that Chaos and Xenos and Guard need more attention on multiple fronts. On all fronts tbh
super: cursed-40k-thoughts:

randomnightlord:

cursed-40k-thoughts:

randomnightlord:
a-40k-author:
The new art of Warhammer 40000. 


Blood Angels with a glowing coffin?
Don’t tell me GW will bring back Sanguinius. 

I honestly would quite like that, providing they do a good job of narratively justifying and explaining it. The follow up potential of Roboute and Lion and even the traitor Primarchs getting to see/interact with the brother they all saw as the best of them would be super interesting. Providing, again it was done well.That said, I’m also kind of into the idea that the new C’tan-looking angel thing the Necrons have is some kind of AI replication of Sangy, given it has the wings and a big spear and we know Necrontyr would make AI personalities of dead people they deeply respected, and that Szarekh really liked Sangy and thought he would have been a good Emperor.Super unlikely, but I digress. If it’s done well, Sanguinius coming back would be pretty damned cool. 


I mean….I guess?I would just be kinda salty if the damn Angel would return before any new Night Lords content releases.Yes I know I am beating a dead bat at this point but still


I mean, yeah, obviously loyalist Astartes oversaturation remains a pertinent and ongoing issue. I’ve been fairly vocal about that multiple times. I’m just saying that the narrative potential surrounding a Sanguinius comeback is promising. I’m intimately aware that Chaos and Xenos and Guard need more attention on multiple fronts. 


On all fronts tbh

cursed-40k-thoughts: randomnightlord: cursed-40k-thoughts: randomnightlord: a-40k-author: The new art of Warhammer 40000.  Blood Ang...

super: just-absolutely-super: momo-de-avis: this is THE FUNNIEST suggestion Word’s grammar thing has ever given me #you is kind#you is smart#you is important#you is well-intentioned
super: just-absolutely-super:

momo-de-avis:
this is THE FUNNIEST suggestion Word’s grammar thing has ever given me
#you is kind#you is smart#you is important#you is well-intentioned

just-absolutely-super: momo-de-avis: this is THE FUNNIEST suggestion Word’s grammar thing has ever given me #you is kind#you is smart#yo...

super: samanthasmiless: Adorable and Super Soft Large Dolphin Plush made perfect for snuggling or relaxing! This will make a lovely and meaningful gift for your Friends and Family!=> AVAILABLE HERE <=
super: samanthasmiless:

Adorable and Super Soft Large Dolphin Plush made perfect for snuggling or relaxing! This will make a lovely and meaningful gift for your Friends and Family!=> AVAILABLE HERE <=

samanthasmiless: Adorable and Super Soft Large Dolphin Plush made perfect for snuggling or relaxing! This will make a lovely and meaning...

super: Really need this super powerful computer!
super: Really need this super powerful computer!

Really need this super powerful computer!

super: samanthasmiless: Adorable and Super Soft Large Dolphin Plush made perfect for snuggling or relaxing! This will make a lovely and meaningful gift for your Friends and Family!=> AVAILABLE HERE <=
super: samanthasmiless:

Adorable and Super Soft Large Dolphin Plush made perfect for snuggling or relaxing! This will make a lovely and meaningful gift for your Friends and Family!=> AVAILABLE HERE <=

samanthasmiless: Adorable and Super Soft Large Dolphin Plush made perfect for snuggling or relaxing! This will make a lovely and meaning...

super: samanthasmiless: Adorable and Super Soft Large Dolphin Plush made perfect for snuggling or relaxing! This will make a lovely and meaningful gift for your Friends and Family!=> AVAILABLE HERE <=
super: samanthasmiless:

Adorable and Super Soft Large Dolphin Plush made perfect for snuggling or relaxing! This will make a lovely and meaningful gift for your Friends and Family!=> AVAILABLE HERE <=

samanthasmiless: Adorable and Super Soft Large Dolphin Plush made perfect for snuggling or relaxing! This will make a lovely and meaning...

super: A Super Smart Genius by Puka_PlayZ MORE MEMES
super: A Super Smart Genius by Puka_PlayZ
MORE MEMES

A Super Smart Genius by Puka_PlayZ MORE MEMES

super: A Super Smart Genius
super: A Super Smart Genius

A Super Smart Genius

super: My ex I met on Tinder only messages me when she’s super drunk and I’ve been waiting since October to finish this joke.
super: My ex I met on Tinder only messages me when she’s super drunk and I’ve been waiting since October to finish this joke.

My ex I met on Tinder only messages me when she’s super drunk and I’ve been waiting since October to finish this joke.

super: The Real Reason (from Kirby’s Super Powers #3)
super: The Real Reason (from Kirby’s Super Powers #3)

The Real Reason (from Kirby’s Super Powers #3)

super: Just got done closing. Super tired. Be gentle.
super: Just got done closing. Super tired. Be gentle.

Just got done closing. Super tired. Be gentle.

super: Super long time by camolina02 MORE MEMES
super: Super long time by camolina02
MORE MEMES

Super long time by camolina02 MORE MEMES

super: Super long time
super: Super long time

Super long time

super: You bet I super liked.
super: You bet I super liked.

You bet I super liked.

super: Super liked
super: Super liked

Super liked

super: Shop owners in your neighborhood tend to be super friendly
super: Shop owners in your neighborhood tend to be super friendly

Shop owners in your neighborhood tend to be super friendly

super: ding-dong-the-bitch-is-dead: ayalaatreides: professor-maple-mod: phoenix-phoenix: stuckinremission: “Sweet dreams are made of this. Who am I to disagree?“ Holy shit this fucking super power. The avengers did Quicksilver WRONG. Holy shit The brilliant thing about this isn’t just the CGI, it’s the clever little touches of humor– mussing the boy’s hair, saving the goldfish, drinking the soda can, the moonwalk, lining up the dart with the dartboard. I notice new details every time I see this clip. You can watch this scene with zero context and still fully enjoy it. You don’t need to know who he is or who he’s saving or why. There’s a guy who runs real fast and he’s saving people from an explosion, and he’s having a blast with it, and that’s all you need to know. It’s entertaining and fully comprehensible even if you know nothing about the movie. That’s damn good filmmaking. @theproblemkyd @blackkatmagic My favorite Live Action Quicksilver! I love Evan Peters! I just,,,, the fact that it’s fast until he shows up, then it slows down, then speeds up as soon as he leaves? And the fact that nothing actually stops moving, you can see everything still going on around him, rather than being so slow any movement is imperceptible so it just kind of looks like he’s frozen time or whatever? The fact that it shows how he can manipulate physics and stuff when he’s going so fast, like using floorboards that are being blown apart as stepping stones to a girl in the stairs? All of it is just so good I love this scene so goddamn much
super: ding-dong-the-bitch-is-dead:

ayalaatreides:
professor-maple-mod:

phoenix-phoenix:

stuckinremission:

“Sweet dreams are made of this. Who am I to disagree?“


Holy shit this fucking super power. The avengers did Quicksilver WRONG.

Holy shit

The brilliant thing about this isn’t just the CGI, it’s the clever little touches of humor– mussing the boy’s hair, saving the goldfish, drinking the soda can, the moonwalk, lining up the dart with the dartboard. I notice new details every time I see this clip. You can watch this scene with zero context and still fully enjoy it. You don’t need to know who he is or who he’s saving or why. There’s a guy who runs real fast and he’s saving people from an explosion, and he’s having a blast with it, and that’s all you need to know. It’s entertaining and fully comprehensible even if you know nothing about the movie. That’s damn good filmmaking.



@theproblemkyd  @blackkatmagic  My favorite Live Action Quicksilver! I love Evan Peters!


I just,,,, the fact that it’s fast until he shows up, then it slows down, then speeds up as soon as he leaves? And the fact that nothing actually stops moving, you can see everything still going on around him, rather than being so slow any movement is imperceptible so it just kind of looks like he’s frozen time or whatever? The fact that it shows how he can manipulate physics and stuff when he’s going so fast, like using floorboards that are being blown apart as stepping stones to a girl in the stairs? All of it is just so good I love this scene so goddamn much

ding-dong-the-bitch-is-dead: ayalaatreides: professor-maple-mod: phoenix-phoenix: stuckinremission: “Sweet dreams are made of this. W...

super: samanthasmiless: Adorable and Super Soft Large Dolphin Plush made perfect for snuggling or relaxing! This will make a lovely and meaningful gift for your Friends and Family!=> AVAILABLE HERE <=
super: samanthasmiless:

Adorable and Super Soft Large Dolphin Plush made perfect for snuggling or relaxing! This will make a lovely and meaningful gift for your Friends and Family!=> AVAILABLE HERE <=

samanthasmiless: Adorable and Super Soft Large Dolphin Plush made perfect for snuggling or relaxing! This will make a lovely and meaning...