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Being Alone, Radio, and The Worst: |HOW TO CRASH-LAND A PLANE ON WATER These instructions apply to small passenger propeller planes (not commercial airliners). 1 Take your place at the controls. If the plane has dual controls, the pilot will be in the left seat. Sit on the right. If the plane has only one set of controls and the pilot is unconscious, remove the pilot from the pilot's seat. Securely fasten your seat belt. 2 Put on the radio headset (if there is one) and call for help. There will be a control button on the yoke (the plane's steering wheel) or a CB-like microphone on the instrument panel. Depress the button to talk release it to listen. Say "Mayday! Mayday!" and give your situation, destination, and plane call numbers (which should be printed on the top of the instru- ment panel). If you get no response, try again on the emergency channel, 121.5. The person on the other end should be able to talk you through proper landing procedures. If you cannot reach someone to talk you through the landing process, you will have to do it alone. beading airspeed indicator altimeter fuel gauge yoke throttle landing gear 3 Get your bearings and identify the instruments. YOKE. This is the steering wheel, and it should be in front of you. The yoke turns the plane and controls its pitch. Pull back on the column to bring the nose up, push forward to point it down. Turn it left to turn the plane left, turn it right to turn the plane right. The yoke is very sensitive-move it only an inch or two in either direction to turn the plane. While cruising, the nose of the plane should be about three inches below the horizon. ф awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills
Being Alone, Radio, and The Worst: |HOW TO
 CRASH-LAND
 A PLANE ON WATER
 These instructions apply to small passenger propeller
 planes (not commercial airliners).
 1 Take your place at the controls.
 If the plane has dual controls, the pilot will be in the
 left seat. Sit on the right. If the plane has only one
 set of controls and the pilot is unconscious, remove
 the pilot from the pilot's seat. Securely fasten your
 seat belt.
 2 Put on the radio headset (if there is one) and call
 for help.
 There will be a control button on the yoke (the
 plane's steering wheel) or a CB-like microphone on
 the instrument panel. Depress the button to talk
 release it to listen. Say "Mayday! Mayday!" and give
 your situation, destination, and plane call numbers
 (which should be printed on the top of the instru-
 ment panel). If you get no response, try again on
 the emergency channel, 121.5. The person on the
 other end should be able to talk you through proper
 landing procedures. If you cannot reach someone to
 talk you through the landing process, you will have
 to do it alone.

 beading
 airspeed indicator
 altimeter
 fuel gauge
 yoke
 throttle
 landing gear
 3 Get your bearings and identify the instruments.
 YOKE. This is the steering wheel, and it should be in
 front of you. The yoke turns the plane and controls its
 pitch. Pull back on the column to bring the nose up,
 push forward to point it down. Turn it left to turn the
 plane left, turn it right to turn the plane right. The
 yoke is very sensitive-move it only an inch or two in
 either direction to turn the plane. While cruising, the
 nose of the plane should be about three inches below
 the horizon.
 ф
awesomage:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

Being Alone, Radio, and The Worst: |HOW TO CRASH-LAND A PLANE ON WATER These instructions apply to small passenger propeller planes (not commercial airliners). 1 Take your place at the controls. If the plane has dual controls, the pilot will be in the left seat. Sit on the right. If the plane has only one set of controls and the pilot is unconscious, remove the pilot from the pilot's seat. Securely fasten your seat belt. 2 Put on the radio headset (if there is one) and call for help. There will be a control button on the yoke (the plane's steering wheel) or a CB-like microphone on the instrument panel. Depress the button to talk release it to listen. Say "Mayday! Mayday!" and give your situation, destination, and plane call numbers (which should be printed on the top of the instru- ment panel). If you get no response, try again on the emergency channel, 121.5. The person on the other end should be able to talk you through proper landing procedures. If you cannot reach someone to talk you through the landing process, you will have to do it alone. beading airspeed indicator altimeter fuel gauge yoke throttle landing gear 3 Get your bearings and identify the instruments. YOKE. This is the steering wheel, and it should be in front of you. The yoke turns the plane and controls its pitch. Pull back on the column to bring the nose up, push forward to point it down. Turn it left to turn the plane left, turn it right to turn the plane right. The yoke is very sensitive-move it only an inch or two in either direction to turn the plane. While cruising, the nose of the plane should be about three inches below the horizon. ф awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills
Being Alone, Radio, and The Worst: |HOW TO
 CRASH-LAND
 A PLANE ON WATER
 These instructions apply to small passenger propeller
 planes (not commercial airliners).
 1 Take your place at the controls.
 If the plane has dual controls, the pilot will be in the
 left seat. Sit on the right. If the plane has only one
 set of controls and the pilot is unconscious, remove
 the pilot from the pilot's seat. Securely fasten your
 seat belt.
 2 Put on the radio headset (if there is one) and call
 for help.
 There will be a control button on the yoke (the
 plane's steering wheel) or a CB-like microphone on
 the instrument panel. Depress the button to talk
 release it to listen. Say "Mayday! Mayday!" and give
 your situation, destination, and plane call numbers
 (which should be printed on the top of the instru-
 ment panel). If you get no response, try again on
 the emergency channel, 121.5. The person on the
 other end should be able to talk you through proper
 landing procedures. If you cannot reach someone to
 talk you through the landing process, you will have
 to do it alone.

 beading
 airspeed indicator
 altimeter
 fuel gauge
 yoke
 throttle
 landing gear
 3 Get your bearings and identify the instruments.
 YOKE. This is the steering wheel, and it should be in
 front of you. The yoke turns the plane and controls its
 pitch. Pull back on the column to bring the nose up,
 push forward to point it down. Turn it left to turn the
 plane left, turn it right to turn the plane right. The
 yoke is very sensitive-move it only an inch or two in
 either direction to turn the plane. While cruising, the
 nose of the plane should be about three inches below
 the horizon.
 ф
awesomage:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

Being Alone, Radio, and The Worst: |HOW TO CRASH-LAND A PLANE ON WATER These instructions apply to small passenger propeller planes (not commercial airliners). 1 Take your place at the controls. If the plane has dual controls, the pilot will be in the left seat. Sit on the right. If the plane has only one set of controls and the pilot is unconscious, remove the pilot from the pilot's seat. Securely fasten your seat belt. 2 Put on the radio headset (if there is one) and call for help. There will be a control button on the yoke (the plane's steering wheel) or a CB-like microphone on the instrument panel. Depress the button to talk release it to listen. Say "Mayday! Mayday!" and give your situation, destination, and plane call numbers (which should be printed on the top of the instru- ment panel). If you get no response, try again on the emergency channel, 121.5. The person on the other end should be able to talk you through proper landing procedures. If you cannot reach someone to talk you through the landing process, you will have to do it alone. beading airspeed indicator altimeter fuel gauge yoke throttle landing gear 3 Get your bearings and identify the instruments. YOKE. This is the steering wheel, and it should be in front of you. The yoke turns the plane and controls its pitch. Pull back on the column to bring the nose up, push forward to point it down. Turn it left to turn the plane left, turn it right to turn the plane right. The yoke is very sensitive-move it only an inch or two in either direction to turn the plane. While cruising, the nose of the plane should be about three inches below the horizon. ф awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills
Being Alone, Radio, and The Worst: |HOW TO
 CRASH-LAND
 A PLANE ON WATER
 These instructions apply to small passenger propeller
 planes (not commercial airliners).
 1 Take your place at the controls.
 If the plane has dual controls, the pilot will be in the
 left seat. Sit on the right. If the plane has only one
 set of controls and the pilot is unconscious, remove
 the pilot from the pilot's seat. Securely fasten your
 seat belt.
 2 Put on the radio headset (if there is one) and call
 for help.
 There will be a control button on the yoke (the
 plane's steering wheel) or a CB-like microphone on
 the instrument panel. Depress the button to talk
 release it to listen. Say "Mayday! Mayday!" and give
 your situation, destination, and plane call numbers
 (which should be printed on the top of the instru-
 ment panel). If you get no response, try again on
 the emergency channel, 121.5. The person on the
 other end should be able to talk you through proper
 landing procedures. If you cannot reach someone to
 talk you through the landing process, you will have
 to do it alone.

 beading
 airspeed indicator
 altimeter
 fuel gauge
 yoke
 throttle
 landing gear
 3 Get your bearings and identify the instruments.
 YOKE. This is the steering wheel, and it should be in
 front of you. The yoke turns the plane and controls its
 pitch. Pull back on the column to bring the nose up,
 push forward to point it down. Turn it left to turn the
 plane left, turn it right to turn the plane right. The
 yoke is very sensitive-move it only an inch or two in
 either direction to turn the plane. While cruising, the
 nose of the plane should be about three inches below
 the horizon.
 ф
awesomage:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

Being Alone, Radio, and The Worst: |HOW TO CRASH-LAND A PLANE ON WATER These instructions apply to small passenger propeller planes (not commercial airliners). 1 Take your place at the controls. If the plane has dual controls, the pilot will be in the left seat. Sit on the right. If the plane has only one set of controls and the pilot is unconscious, remove the pilot from the pilot's seat. Securely fasten your seat belt. 2 Put on the radio headset (if there is one) and call for help. There will be a control button on the yoke (the plane's steering wheel) or a CB-like microphone on the instrument panel. Depress the button to talk release it to listen. Say "Mayday! Mayday!" and give your situation, destination, and plane call numbers (which should be printed on the top of the instru- ment panel). If you get no response, try again on the emergency channel, 121.5. The person on the other end should be able to talk you through proper landing procedures. If you cannot reach someone to talk you through the landing process, you will have to do it alone. beading airspeed indicator altimeter fuel gauge yoke throttle landing gear 3 Get your bearings and identify the instruments. YOKE. This is the steering wheel, and it should be in front of you. The yoke turns the plane and controls its pitch. Pull back on the column to bring the nose up, push forward to point it down. Turn it left to turn the plane left, turn it right to turn the plane right. The yoke is very sensitive-move it only an inch or two in either direction to turn the plane. While cruising, the nose of the plane should be about three inches below the horizon. ф awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills
Being Alone, Radio, and The Worst: |HOW TO
 CRASH-LAND
 A PLANE ON WATER
 These instructions apply to small passenger propeller
 planes (not commercial airliners).
 1 Take your place at the controls.
 If the plane has dual controls, the pilot will be in the
 left seat. Sit on the right. If the plane has only one
 set of controls and the pilot is unconscious, remove
 the pilot from the pilot's seat. Securely fasten your
 seat belt.
 2 Put on the radio headset (if there is one) and call
 for help.
 There will be a control button on the yoke (the
 plane's steering wheel) or a CB-like microphone on
 the instrument panel. Depress the button to talk
 release it to listen. Say "Mayday! Mayday!" and give
 your situation, destination, and plane call numbers
 (which should be printed on the top of the instru-
 ment panel). If you get no response, try again on
 the emergency channel, 121.5. The person on the
 other end should be able to talk you through proper
 landing procedures. If you cannot reach someone to
 talk you through the landing process, you will have
 to do it alone.

 beading
 airspeed indicator
 altimeter
 fuel gauge
 yoke
 throttle
 landing gear
 3 Get your bearings and identify the instruments.
 YOKE. This is the steering wheel, and it should be in
 front of you. The yoke turns the plane and controls its
 pitch. Pull back on the column to bring the nose up,
 push forward to point it down. Turn it left to turn the
 plane left, turn it right to turn the plane right. The
 yoke is very sensitive-move it only an inch or two in
 either direction to turn the plane. While cruising, the
 nose of the plane should be about three inches below
 the horizon.
 ф
awesomage:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

Being Alone, Radio, and The Worst: |HOW TO CRASH-LAND A PLANE ON WATER These instructions apply to small passenger propeller planes (not commercial airliners). 1 Take your place at the controls. If the plane has dual controls, the pilot will be in the left seat. Sit on the right. If the plane has only one set of controls and the pilot is unconscious, remove the pilot from the pilot's seat. Securely fasten your seat belt. 2 Put on the radio headset (if there is one) and call for help. There will be a control button on the yoke (the plane's steering wheel) or a CB-like microphone on the instrument panel. Depress the button to talk release it to listen. Say "Mayday! Mayday!" and give your situation, destination, and plane call numbers (which should be printed on the top of the instru- ment panel). If you get no response, try again on the emergency channel, 121.5. The person on the other end should be able to talk you through proper landing procedures. If you cannot reach someone to talk you through the landing process, you will have to do it alone. beading airspeed indicator altimeter fuel gauge yoke throttle landing gear 3 Get your bearings and identify the instruments. YOKE. This is the steering wheel, and it should be in front of you. The yoke turns the plane and controls its pitch. Pull back on the column to bring the nose up, push forward to point it down. Turn it left to turn the plane left, turn it right to turn the plane right. The yoke is very sensitive-move it only an inch or two in either direction to turn the plane. While cruising, the nose of the plane should be about three inches below the horizon. ф awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills
Being Alone, Radio, and The Worst: |HOW TO
 CRASH-LAND
 A PLANE ON WATER
 These instructions apply to small passenger propeller
 planes (not commercial airliners).
 1 Take your place at the controls.
 If the plane has dual controls, the pilot will be in the
 left seat. Sit on the right. If the plane has only one
 set of controls and the pilot is unconscious, remove
 the pilot from the pilot's seat. Securely fasten your
 seat belt.
 2 Put on the radio headset (if there is one) and call
 for help.
 There will be a control button on the yoke (the
 plane's steering wheel) or a CB-like microphone on
 the instrument panel. Depress the button to talk
 release it to listen. Say "Mayday! Mayday!" and give
 your situation, destination, and plane call numbers
 (which should be printed on the top of the instru-
 ment panel). If you get no response, try again on
 the emergency channel, 121.5. The person on the
 other end should be able to talk you through proper
 landing procedures. If you cannot reach someone to
 talk you through the landing process, you will have
 to do it alone.

 beading
 airspeed indicator
 altimeter
 fuel gauge
 yoke
 throttle
 landing gear
 3 Get your bearings and identify the instruments.
 YOKE. This is the steering wheel, and it should be in
 front of you. The yoke turns the plane and controls its
 pitch. Pull back on the column to bring the nose up,
 push forward to point it down. Turn it left to turn the
 plane left, turn it right to turn the plane right. The
 yoke is very sensitive-move it only an inch or two in
 either direction to turn the plane. While cruising, the
 nose of the plane should be about three inches below
 the horizon.
 ф
awesomage:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

Being Alone, Radio, and The Worst: |HOW TO CRASH-LAND A PLANE ON WATER These instructions apply to small passenger propeller planes (not commercial airliners). 1 Take your place at the controls. If the plane has dual controls, the pilot will be in the left seat. Sit on the right. If the plane has only one set of controls and the pilot is unconscious, remove the pilot from the pilot's seat. Securely fasten your seat belt. 2 Put on the radio headset (if there is one) and call for help. There will be a control button on the yoke (the plane's steering wheel) or a CB-like microphone on the instrument panel. Depress the button to talk release it to listen. Say "Mayday! Mayday!" and give your situation, destination, and plane call numbers (which should be printed on the top of the instru- ment panel). If you get no response, try again on the emergency channel, 121.5. The person on the other end should be able to talk you through proper landing procedures. If you cannot reach someone to talk you through the landing process, you will have to do it alone. beading airspeed indicator altimeter fuel gauge yoke throttle landing gear 3 Get your bearings and identify the instruments. YOKE. This is the steering wheel, and it should be in front of you. The yoke turns the plane and controls its pitch. Pull back on the column to bring the nose up, push forward to point it down. Turn it left to turn the plane left, turn it right to turn the plane right. The yoke is very sensitive-move it only an inch or two in either direction to turn the plane. While cruising, the nose of the plane should be about three inches below the horizon. ф awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills
Being Alone, Radio, and The Worst: |HOW TO
 CRASH-LAND
 A PLANE ON WATER
 These instructions apply to small passenger propeller
 planes (not commercial airliners).
 1 Take your place at the controls.
 If the plane has dual controls, the pilot will be in the
 left seat. Sit on the right. If the plane has only one
 set of controls and the pilot is unconscious, remove
 the pilot from the pilot's seat. Securely fasten your
 seat belt.
 2 Put on the radio headset (if there is one) and call
 for help.
 There will be a control button on the yoke (the
 plane's steering wheel) or a CB-like microphone on
 the instrument panel. Depress the button to talk
 release it to listen. Say "Mayday! Mayday!" and give
 your situation, destination, and plane call numbers
 (which should be printed on the top of the instru-
 ment panel). If you get no response, try again on
 the emergency channel, 121.5. The person on the
 other end should be able to talk you through proper
 landing procedures. If you cannot reach someone to
 talk you through the landing process, you will have
 to do it alone.

 beading
 airspeed indicator
 altimeter
 fuel gauge
 yoke
 throttle
 landing gear
 3 Get your bearings and identify the instruments.
 YOKE. This is the steering wheel, and it should be in
 front of you. The yoke turns the plane and controls its
 pitch. Pull back on the column to bring the nose up,
 push forward to point it down. Turn it left to turn the
 plane left, turn it right to turn the plane right. The
 yoke is very sensitive-move it only an inch or two in
 either direction to turn the plane. While cruising, the
 nose of the plane should be about three inches below
 the horizon.
 ф
awesomage:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

Being Alone, Radio, and The Worst: |HOW TO CRASH-LAND A PLANE ON WATER These instructions apply to small passenger propeller planes (not commercial airliners). 1 Take your place at the controls. If the plane has dual controls, the pilot will be in the left seat. Sit on the right. If the plane has only one set of controls and the pilot is unconscious, remove the pilot from the pilot's seat. Securely fasten your seat belt. 2 Put on the radio headset (if there is one) and call for help. There will be a control button on the yoke (the plane's steering wheel) or a CB-like microphone on the instrument panel. Depress the button to talk release it to listen. Say "Mayday! Mayday!" and give your situation, destination, and plane call numbers (which should be printed on the top of the instru- ment panel). If you get no response, try again on the emergency channel, 121.5. The person on the other end should be able to talk you through proper landing procedures. If you cannot reach someone to talk you through the landing process, you will have to do it alone. beading airspeed indicator altimeter fuel gauge yoke throttle landing gear 3 Get your bearings and identify the instruments. YOKE. This is the steering wheel, and it should be in front of you. The yoke turns the plane and controls its pitch. Pull back on the column to bring the nose up, push forward to point it down. Turn it left to turn the plane left, turn it right to turn the plane right. The yoke is very sensitive-move it only an inch or two in either direction to turn the plane. While cruising, the nose of the plane should be about three inches below the horizon. ф awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills
Being Alone, Radio, and The Worst: |HOW TO
 CRASH-LAND
 A PLANE ON WATER
 These instructions apply to small passenger propeller
 planes (not commercial airliners).
 1 Take your place at the controls.
 If the plane has dual controls, the pilot will be in the
 left seat. Sit on the right. If the plane has only one
 set of controls and the pilot is unconscious, remove
 the pilot from the pilot's seat. Securely fasten your
 seat belt.
 2 Put on the radio headset (if there is one) and call
 for help.
 There will be a control button on the yoke (the
 plane's steering wheel) or a CB-like microphone on
 the instrument panel. Depress the button to talk
 release it to listen. Say "Mayday! Mayday!" and give
 your situation, destination, and plane call numbers
 (which should be printed on the top of the instru-
 ment panel). If you get no response, try again on
 the emergency channel, 121.5. The person on the
 other end should be able to talk you through proper
 landing procedures. If you cannot reach someone to
 talk you through the landing process, you will have
 to do it alone.

 beading
 airspeed indicator
 altimeter
 fuel gauge
 yoke
 throttle
 landing gear
 3 Get your bearings and identify the instruments.
 YOKE. This is the steering wheel, and it should be in
 front of you. The yoke turns the plane and controls its
 pitch. Pull back on the column to bring the nose up,
 push forward to point it down. Turn it left to turn the
 plane left, turn it right to turn the plane right. The
 yoke is very sensitive-move it only an inch or two in
 either direction to turn the plane. While cruising, the
 nose of the plane should be about three inches below
 the horizon.
 ф
awesomage:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

Food, Guns, and Head: THERES ONLY ONE WAY To KIL AN EMU SCENES FROM THE SHOOT HIM THROUGH THE BACK OF THE HEAD WHILE HIS MOUTH IS CLOSED OR THROUGH THE FRONT OF HIS HEAD WHEN HIS MOUTH IS OPEN" A SOLDIER SEPTEMBER, 1932: A HISTORIC DROUGHT LEADS THE INLAND EMU HORDES TOWARD HUMAN LANDS IN SEARCH OF FoOD. TWEET TWE TWEET W小 (M EARLY OCTOBER: AUSTRALIAN FARMERS ARE DRIVEN FROM THEIR HOMES BY BATTALIONS OF RAVENOUS EMUS. TWEET TNEET LATE OCTOBER: A ROYAL AUSTRALIAN İİ OCTOBER 31: THE FIRST BATTLE ARTILLERY DETACHMENT, ARMED OF THE GREAT EMU WAR IS WITH MACHINE GUNS AND 10,000 POSTPONED DUE TO RAIN ROUNDS OF AMMUNITON, IS SENT TO RETAKE THE OCCUPIED FARMS NoVEMBER THE EMUS MOBILITYNOVEMBER 2: MORE THAN 1,000 DURABILITY, AND BLIND PANIC EMUS ESCAPE AN AMBUSH AS TWEET TWEET RENDER THEM VIRTUALLY IMMUNE HUMAN FORCES RELOAD. FEWER THAN To MACHINE GUN BULLETS TWELVE EMUS REPORTED DEAD NOVEMBER 4: ATTEMPTS To KILL THEM WITH TRUCK-MOUNTED GUNS ARE ABANDONED AFTER AN EMU GETS CAUGHT IN A STEERING WHEEL TWEET NOVEMBER 5: EACH PACK SEEMS TO NOVEMBER 8 PARLIAMENT ROLLS HAVE ITS LEADER NOW -A BIG BLACK COLLECTIVE EYES, SUGGESTS ANy TWEET PLUMED BIRD WHICH STANDS FULLY MEDALS SHOULD GO TO EMUS WHO SIX FEET HIGH AND KEEPS WATCH HAVE WON EVERY ROUND So FAR NoVEMBER 9 AUSTRALIA DECLARES DEFEAT, RELINQUISHES OCCUPIED TERRITORY TO NEW EMU OVERLORDS. TWEET O2ols KoRJIN BRIGGS ww VeritableHokum.com optimysticals: dat-soldier: shadowmaat: enrique262: The disastrous Australian Emu War. Someone turned it into a comic. YES. never forget the emu war And the rest of the world is like, “WTF Mate?”
Food, Guns, and Head: THERES ONLY ONE WAY To KIL AN EMU SCENES FROM THE
 SHOOT HIM THROUGH THE BACK OF THE
 HEAD WHILE HIS MOUTH IS CLOSED
 OR THROUGH THE FRONT OF HIS HEAD
 WHEN HIS MOUTH IS OPEN" A SOLDIER
 SEPTEMBER, 1932: A HISTORIC DROUGHT LEADS THE INLAND
 EMU HORDES TOWARD HUMAN LANDS IN SEARCH OF FoOD.
 TWEET
 TWE
 TWEET
 W小
 (M
 EARLY OCTOBER: AUSTRALIAN FARMERS ARE DRIVEN FROM
 THEIR HOMES BY BATTALIONS OF RAVENOUS EMUS.
 TWEET
 TNEET

 LATE OCTOBER: A ROYAL AUSTRALIAN İİ OCTOBER 31: THE FIRST BATTLE
 ARTILLERY DETACHMENT, ARMED OF THE GREAT EMU WAR IS
 WITH MACHINE GUNS AND 10,000 POSTPONED DUE TO RAIN
 ROUNDS OF AMMUNITON, IS SENT
 TO RETAKE THE OCCUPIED FARMS
 NoVEMBER THE EMUS MOBILITYNOVEMBER 2: MORE THAN 1,000
 DURABILITY, AND BLIND PANIC EMUS ESCAPE AN AMBUSH AS
 TWEET
 TWEET
 RENDER THEM VIRTUALLY IMMUNE HUMAN FORCES RELOAD. FEWER THAN
 To MACHINE GUN BULLETS
 TWELVE EMUS REPORTED DEAD
 NOVEMBER 4: ATTEMPTS To KILL THEM WITH TRUCK-MOUNTED GUNS
 ARE ABANDONED AFTER AN EMU GETS CAUGHT IN A STEERING WHEEL
 TWEET

 NOVEMBER 5: EACH PACK SEEMS TO NOVEMBER 8 PARLIAMENT ROLLS
 HAVE ITS LEADER NOW -A BIG BLACK COLLECTIVE EYES, SUGGESTS ANy
 TWEET
 PLUMED BIRD WHICH STANDS FULLY MEDALS SHOULD GO TO EMUS WHO
 SIX FEET HIGH AND KEEPS WATCH HAVE WON EVERY ROUND So FAR
 NoVEMBER 9 AUSTRALIA DECLARES DEFEAT, RELINQUISHES
 OCCUPIED TERRITORY TO NEW EMU OVERLORDS.
 TWEET
 O2ols KoRJIN BRIGGS ww VeritableHokum.com
optimysticals:

dat-soldier:

shadowmaat:

enrique262:

The disastrous Australian Emu War.

Someone turned it into a comic. YES.


never forget the emu war

And the rest of the world is like, “WTF Mate?”

optimysticals: dat-soldier: shadowmaat: enrique262: The disastrous Australian Emu War. Someone turned it into a comic. YES. never for...

Fire, Head, and Puns: 00, 285 and ed the popula T 383), "I can't believe I ate that whole pineapple!" Tom said dolehtu "I dropped the toothpaste," Tom said, crestfallen. "We don't have a homerun hitter," Tom said ruthlessly "I keep shocking myself," said Tom, revolted "My steering wheel won't turn," Tom said straightforwardly iThat's the last time I pet a lion," Tom said offhandedly "I'll dig another ditch around the castle," Tom said remotely i "I shouldn't sleep on railroad tracks," said Tom, beside himselfi "I've lost a lot of weight," Tom expounded. "I keep banging my head on things," Tom said bashfully. "I'lI have to telegraph him again," Tom said remorsefully “I can't get down from the mountain." Tom alleged. "Let's play a C, E, and G," said Tom's band, in accord. "You call this a musical?" asked Les miserably "I must make the fire hotter!" Tom bellowed. i i mothmanismyuncle: american-auror-story: jellyfish-blob: quiteawfulpretty: he-wants-the-221d: sweethoneysempai: smarsupial: womandrogyne: I am so aroused right now Oh I know some folks who will get this much faster than I did. @misshoneywheeler @aliceofalonso my favorite pundits. Tag urself im “I keep bashing my head on things,” Tom said bashfully We had to make some of these up for our standardised state testing. “You call this a musical?” I’m SCREAMINF i was halfway through before i realized these were puns i am so mad This was fun to read the first time through before you realized anything It was INCREDIBLE the second time and you realize how blind you were the first time IM SOBBIN HOLY FUCKIN SHIT
Fire, Head, and Puns: 00,
 285
 and
 ed the popula T
 383),
 "I can't believe I ate that whole pineapple!" Tom said dolehtu
 "I dropped the toothpaste," Tom said, crestfallen.
 "We don't have a homerun hitter," Tom said ruthlessly
 "I keep shocking myself," said Tom, revolted
 "My steering wheel won't turn," Tom said straightforwardly
 iThat's the last time I pet a lion," Tom said offhandedly
 "I'll dig another ditch around the castle," Tom said remotely
 i "I shouldn't sleep on railroad tracks," said Tom, beside himselfi
 "I've lost a lot of weight," Tom expounded.
 "I keep banging my head on things," Tom said bashfully.
 "I'lI have to telegraph him again," Tom said remorsefully
 “I can't get down from the mountain." Tom alleged.
 "Let's play a C, E, and G," said Tom's band, in accord.
 "You call this a musical?" asked Les miserably
 "I must make the fire hotter!" Tom bellowed.
 i
 i
mothmanismyuncle:

american-auror-story:

jellyfish-blob:

quiteawfulpretty:

he-wants-the-221d:

sweethoneysempai:


smarsupial:


womandrogyne:

I am so aroused right now


Oh I know some folks who will get this much faster than I did. @misshoneywheeler @aliceofalonso my favorite pundits.


Tag urself im “I keep bashing my head on things,” Tom said bashfully


We had to make some of these up for our standardised state testing.


“You call this a musical?” I’m SCREAMINF

i was halfway through before i realized these were puns i am so mad


This was fun to read the first time through before you realized anything
It was INCREDIBLE the second time and you realize how blind you were the first time


IM SOBBIN HOLY FUCKIN SHIT

mothmanismyuncle: american-auror-story: jellyfish-blob: quiteawfulpretty: he-wants-the-221d: sweethoneysempai: smarsupial: womandro...

Alive, Cars, and Children: THIS CHANGES THE GAME FOREVER theconqueerstador: neurodivergent-crow: halduron-brightwang: immortalismortem: liquidglue: b just wear the seatbelt Mmmmmmm I gotta naysay here. Seatbelts do a LOT of harm. Not everyone can wear one  and not everyone wants to risk it. Just among my own friends and people I know in general; 4 females had a breast cut completely or partially off due to a seat belt. 6 people had their throats cut, to an obviously non-lethal degree. 2 had their stomach’s cut open to a horrifying degree that I won’t elaborate on. Not even counting the uncomfortably awkward belt locations for particularly large, small, fat, skinny people. Females with large breasts get the joy of holding the belt in place or adjusting it every couple seconds. They’re awkward, uncomfortable, painful, and can often cause the injuries in an accident. Sometimes it’s just better to forgo the belt. Those injuries caused by seat belts more than very likely would have been deadly had they not been wearing them. To have enough force to cut skin or cut off a breast in an accident is far more than enough to cause someone to go flying through the windshield of a car, to slam them into the steering column, or through a window resulting in deadly injuries or causing an even bigger accident for other drivers now that your body is in the road along with your crashed car. Are you really going to risk being a smear of ground meat on the pavement because your seat belt was a little uncomfortable or it might cut you? Then I got good news for you, there’s a wide variety of devices made specifically to make seat belts more comfortable and reduce that risk. These make it so that your seat belt won’t cut your neck, a simple sleeve of padded fabric that velcros around it, meaning you can put it anywhere on the belt.  This one does something similar, by readjusting the positioning of the seat belt to move it farther away from your neck and hey, helps a bit with having boobs in the way. They even make ones for children too. Boobs still in the way? While it’s pretty silly looking, this helps keep the seat belt in place so you don’t have to keep adjusting it. And if you’re overweight, they make seat belt extenders so you can still be safe.  But maybe you’re still unsure, then listen to the CDC and all of their sources.  “More than half of the people killed in car crashes were not restrained at the time of the crash.1 Wearing a seat belt is the most effective way to prevent death and serious injury in a crash.Seat belt use is on the rise. Laws, education, and technology have increased seat belt use from 11% in 19812 to nearly 85% in 20103, saving hundreds of thousands of lives. “ “Most drivers and passengers killed in crashes are unrestrained. 53% of drivers and passengers killed in car crashes in 2009 were not wearing restraints.1Seat belts dramatically reduce risk of death and serious injury. Among drivers and front-seat passengers, seat belts reduce the risk of death by 45%, and cut the risk of serious injury by 50%.4Seat belts prevent drivers and passengers from being ejected during a crash. People not wearing a seat belt are 30 times more likely to be ejected from a vehicle during a crash. More than 3 out of 4 people who are ejected during a fatal crash die from their injuries.5Seat belts save thousands of lives each year, and increasing use would save thousands more. Seat belts saved almost 13,000 lives in 2009. If all drivers and passengers had worn seat belts that year, almost 4,000 more people would be alive today” Or this one “ The number of those who escaped injury [by wearing a seat belt] increased by 40% and those with mild and moderate injuries decreased by 35% after seatbelt legislation. There was a significant reduction in soft tissue injuries to the head. Only whiplash injuries to the neck showed a significant increase.” Or this “ Fifty-five percent of those killed in passenger vehicle occupant crashes in 2008 were not wearing a seat belt…” “Wearing a seat belt reduces the risk of fatal injury by almost 50%. For children, the risk of fatal injury is reduced by 71% with the use of child safety seats.“ “Of those thrown completely out of a vehicle in a car crash, 75% died. Only one percent of people totally ejected from their cars had on a seat belt during the crash. Over 30% were not wearing seat belts.“ Conclusion? Wear your fucking seat belt. Tell your kids to wear their fucking seat belt. Tell your friends and family to wear their fucking seat belts. Time and time again it’s been proven that you are significantly more likely to survive a crash if you’re wearing one. Most people think they’re uncomfortable, but when you’re in a crash it can save your life. I’d rather be mildly injured than dead. Wear your seat belt. “uwu dont wear seatbelts bc some people got injured by them” THEY SURVIVED. which is much better than dying bc you flew through the damn windshield!! fucking dumbass. My mom worked as an ICU nurse for 20 years and counting. She came home once a month telling me about the DOA people she saw launched through a windshield because they weren’t wearing a seatbelt. I use the same rule she did when we were kids: my car doesn’t move until everyone in it is buckled in.
Alive, Cars, and Children: THIS CHANGES THE GAME FOREVER
theconqueerstador:

neurodivergent-crow:

halduron-brightwang:

immortalismortem:

liquidglue:


b just wear the seatbelt


Mmmmmmm
I gotta naysay here. Seatbelts do a LOT of harm. Not everyone can wear one  and not everyone wants to risk it. Just among my own friends and people I know in general; 4 females had a breast cut completely or partially off due to a seat belt. 6 people had their throats cut, to an obviously non-lethal degree. 2 had their stomach’s cut open to a horrifying degree that I won’t elaborate on.
Not even counting the uncomfortably awkward belt locations for particularly large, small, fat, skinny people. Females with large breasts get the joy of holding the belt in place or adjusting it every couple seconds.
They’re awkward, uncomfortable, painful, and can often cause the injuries in an accident. Sometimes it’s just better to forgo the belt.

Those injuries caused by seat belts more than very likely would have been deadly had they not been wearing them. To have enough force to cut skin or cut off a breast in an accident is far more than enough to cause someone to go flying through the windshield of a car, to slam them into the steering column, or through a window resulting in deadly injuries or causing an even bigger accident for other drivers now that your body is in the road along with your crashed car. Are you really going to risk being a smear of ground meat on the pavement because your seat belt was a little uncomfortable or it might cut you? Then I got good news for you, there’s a wide variety of devices made specifically to make seat belts more comfortable and reduce that risk.
These make it so that your seat belt won’t cut your neck, a simple sleeve of padded fabric that velcros around it, meaning you can put it anywhere on the belt. 
This one does something similar, by readjusting the positioning of the seat belt to move it farther away from your neck and hey, helps a bit with having boobs in the way.
They even make ones for children too.
Boobs still in the way? While it’s pretty silly looking, this helps keep the seat belt in place so you don’t have to keep adjusting it.
And if you’re overweight, they make seat belt extenders so you can still be safe. 
But maybe you’re still unsure, then listen to the CDC and all of their sources. 
“More than half of the people killed in car crashes were not restrained at the time of the crash.1 Wearing a seat belt is the most effective way to prevent death and serious injury in a crash.Seat belt use is on the rise. Laws, education, and technology have increased seat belt use from 11% in 19812 to nearly 85% in 20103, saving hundreds of thousands of lives. “
“Most drivers and passengers killed in crashes are unrestrained. 53% of drivers and passengers killed in car crashes in 2009 were not wearing restraints.1Seat belts dramatically reduce risk of death and serious injury. Among drivers and front-seat passengers, seat belts reduce the risk of death by 45%, and cut the risk of serious injury by 50%.4Seat belts prevent drivers and passengers from being ejected during a crash. People not wearing a seat belt are 30 times more likely to be ejected from a vehicle during a crash. More than 3 out of 4 people who are ejected during a fatal crash die from their injuries.5Seat belts save thousands of lives each year, and increasing use would save thousands more. Seat belts saved almost 13,000 lives in 2009. If all drivers and passengers had worn seat belts that year, almost 4,000 more people would be alive today”
Or this one
“

 The number of those who escaped injury [by wearing a seat belt] increased by 40% and those with mild and moderate injuries decreased by 35% after seatbelt legislation. There was a significant reduction in soft tissue injuries to the head. Only whiplash injuries to the neck showed a significant increase.”
Or this
“

Fifty-five percent of those killed in passenger vehicle occupant crashes in 2008 were not wearing a seat belt…”
“Wearing a seat belt reduces the risk of fatal injury by almost 50%. For children, the risk of fatal injury is reduced by 71% with the use of child safety seats.“
“Of those thrown completely out of a vehicle in a car crash, 75% died. Only one percent of people totally ejected from their cars had on a seat belt during the crash. Over 30% were not wearing seat belts.“
Conclusion? Wear your fucking seat belt. Tell your kids to wear their fucking seat belt. Tell your friends and family to wear their fucking seat belts. Time and time again it’s been proven that you are significantly more likely to survive a crash if you’re wearing one. Most people think they’re uncomfortable, but when you’re in a crash it can save your life. I’d rather be mildly injured than dead.
Wear your seat belt.


“uwu dont wear seatbelts bc some people got injured by them”
THEY SURVIVED. which is much better than dying bc you flew through the damn windshield!! fucking dumbass.


My mom worked as an ICU nurse for 20 years and counting. She came home once a month telling me about the DOA people she saw launched through a windshield because they weren’t wearing a seatbelt. I use the same rule she did when we were kids: my car doesn’t move until everyone in it is buckled in.

theconqueerstador: neurodivergent-crow: halduron-brightwang: immortalismortem: liquidglue: b just wear the seatbelt Mmmmmmm I gotta ...

Butt, Kim Possible, and Love: Wellit soundslike a sheet of paper but lquess you are referring to whats on the sheet of paper girl steer the giant arship ha would retu 曺ithE 0 e n thisisvodka beeftony Toph's blindness was one of the most excellently handled aspects of AtLA because it wasn't treated like a disability. So often in shows and especially children's animation) disabled characters are limited to apperances in "very special episodes" where the main characters have to learn a lesson that these people are capable "in spite of" their handicaps, like that episode of Kim Possible wherein Kim constantly stumbles over herself around Felix. This approach is often just as insulting as making them the butt of jokes, because it's patronizing and it limits the amount of roles disabled characters are allowed to have Avatar challenged that stereotype with Teo, and then sent a giant middle finger its way by introducing Toph. She's turned what would otherwise be a disability into an advantage, and she's not afraid to crack jokes about it. She functions well enough that the other characters often forget that she is blind, but at the same time it's an integral part of her bending and allows her to be the greatest earthbender ever. It sends a powerful message that having a disability does not make you less of a person, and often affords you a unique perspective that the so-called "normal" people never get to experience. One of the many reasons I love this show. l've reblogged this before, but I'm reblogging it again. Best character <3 Top badass bei fong
Butt, Kim Possible, and Love: Wellit soundslike a sheet of paper but lquess
 you are referring to whats on the sheet of paper
 girl steer the giant arship
 ha
 would retu
 曺ithE
 0
 e n
 thisisvodka
 beeftony
 Toph's blindness was one of the
 most excellently handled aspects
 of AtLA because it wasn't treated
 like a disability. So often in shows
 and especially children's
 animation) disabled characters are
 limited to apperances in "very
 special episodes" where the main
 characters have to learn a lesson
 that these people are capable "in
 spite of" their handicaps, like that
 episode of Kim Possible wherein
 Kim constantly stumbles over
 herself around Felix. This
 approach is often just as insulting
 as making them the butt of jokes,
 because it's patronizing and it
 limits the amount of roles disabled
 characters are allowed to have
 Avatar challenged that stereotype
 with Teo, and then sent a giant
 middle finger its way by
 introducing Toph. She's turned
 what would otherwise be a
 disability into an advantage, and
 she's not afraid to crack jokes
 about it. She functions well
 enough that the other characters
 often forget that she is blind, but
 at the same time it's an integral
 part of her bending and allows her
 to be the greatest earthbender
 ever. It sends a powerful message
 that having a disability does not
 make you less of a person, and
 often affords you a unique
 perspective that the so-called
 "normal" people never get to
 experience.
 One of the many reasons I love
 this show.
 l've reblogged this before, but I'm
 reblogging it again. Best character
 <3
Top badass bei fong

Top badass bei fong