I Lost My
I Lost My

I Lost My

Tell
Tell

Tell

The
The

The

Me Waiting
Me Waiting

Me Waiting

When
When

When

Combat
Combat

Combat

spin
 spin

spin

leader
leader

leader

Squad
Squad

Squad

apparently
apparently

apparently

🔥 | Latest

Alive, Being Alone, and Animals: | giraffepoliceforce I really want a science fiction story where aliens come to invade earth and effortlessly wipe out humanity, only to be fought off by the wildlife. They were expecting military resistance. They weren't counting on bears. Asplintercellconviction Imagine coming to a hostile alien world and being attacked by a horde of creatures that can weigh up to 3 tons, run at 30 km/h (19 mph), and bite with a force of 8,100 newtons (1,800 lbf) By the time you realise that they can traverse water, it's too late. The surviving members of your unit manage to make it back by shedding their excess gear and running for their lives the slower ones were crushed to death within minutes You later describe the creature to one of the humans you captured, wanting to know the name of the monstrosity that will haunt your nightmares for cycles to come. The human smiles as it speaks a single word, slowly and distinctly, in its barbaric tongue "Hippopotamus." artiestroke This is giving me the biggest, creepiest grin I might have ever grinned skeletonmug Imagine being the next crew to go down to earth and thinking "it's fine, we got this. We have the weapons and equipment necessary to deal with bears and *shudders hippopotamuses. We'll be fine." And at first you are, you've learned how to dodge. You've learned where their territories are. You know how to defend yourself. But then one night you are sleeping in your shelter. You're in a tree covered temperate part of earth. It seems benign. There are been no sightings of the dreaded "hippos" around. Not even any bears. But there is a slight rustle of the undergrowth. You try and ignore it telling yourself it is just the wind. Then you hear the rustle again. closer this time. You peer out into the darkness but see nothing amongst the trees. The rustle again and now you realise you can smell something. It's musky and slightly foul. It's the smell of an omen, a warning. But what of? Where is this smell coming from. You sit up, but it's too late. The foul smelling creature is on you. You are hit with 17kg of coarse fur and vicious bites. Long dark claws tear in to you and you are pinned down white the striped creature tries to bite your throat. It takes some doing but you manage to wrestle free. Blood drips from your wounds and already they itch with the sign of infection. The creature has a bloodied snout, rust rad, mingling with the black and white hairs. It lets out a terrifying growl from the back of its throat and looks to attack again. It's between you and your knife, so your only choice is to back away. Eventually the creature gives up and snuffles off in to the undergrowth, down a hole near your shelter you hadn't noticed before. When you make it back to your base you once again consult the captive human. "Badger." they say, with a solemn nod. jabberwockypie One word: Moose myurbandream "Our vehicles are far superior to the local human models, in range, speed, armament, and any other metric you care to name! Nothing could possibly-" BAMrumblerumblethumpcrash!! "That's called a moose." morebadbookcovers Wolverines. Also.. dolphins ohgodhesloose The invasion is going slowly. The humans have caught on and are actively destroying information on the planet's flora and fauna before Intelligence can capture and process it. All that they have are survivors accounts. Bears. Hippos. Badgers. Moose. It is becoming obvious this mudball planet is a full-on Death World to the unprepared, and you are so very unprepared. You lost Jaxurn to a plant. Not even a mobile or carnivorous plant, just one that caused a vicious allergic reaction on contact that killed him in less than a rai'kor. Commander Vura'ko died to an insect bite, a tiny local pest that sucked a tiny bit of her blood and apparently replaced it witha bit of its last meal, which was full of disease. Backwash. She died to bug backwash. And yet you honestly envy them after that... thing you encountered... When you got back to base the quarantine officer refused to let you inside. They had to roll a containment tank outside to put you in, because you all knew there would be no chance of eliminating the smell if it got into the ship's air ducts. Smell. You wonder if your nasal slit will ever recover from this stench And the smell would. Not. Leave. After incinerating your gear the Q.O. had you use every cleansing agent they could think of, including a few janitorial ones, and still everyone fled the stench if they were downwind of your tank. Desperate to protect everyone's nasal slits from the smell the quarantine officer interrogated the humans. From them, a glimmer of hope: there was a cure. Somehow the juice of a certain fruit on this mudball was the only thing that could break up the chemicals in the little horror's spray. Immediately the Q.O. sent a team to recover buckets of the stuff and made you bathe in it. That was hours ago and it didn't seem to be working, though. All it was doing was turning your blue skin an interesting shade of purple Sighing in frustration you wave the med-assist on duty over, who only approaches after checking the wind direction. Annoyed, you flip on the tank's vox speaker. "The humans did say it was "grape" juice that removed "skunk" stench, right? majingojira Every night It came for someone almost every night Any soldier alone was a viable target for this native monster that moved unseen by any but the security viewers, usually only spotted in hindsight. They were taken as silently as this earth-monster moved. Sometimes they'd find the remains in the morning taken up a tree and hung there, mostly eaten, as if it were a grisly reminder that the monster was still there, waiting unseen, to strike again. What little they saw of the monster on the vidfeed showed true horror. Yellow eyes that shone with all the light it could gather. It had fangs as long as his grasping digits. Claws half that size formed curved hooks that allowed it to climb up their fortifications with impunity. And in the underbrush, its spots made it almost impossible to see clearly in the undergrowth, if it could be seen at all Even the native sentients, the humans, had a healthy respect and fear for it. The earth natives called the monster a leopard It was a constant fear that muddied the senses, and let the monster hunt even more effectively as the soldiers were always on edge. Sleep deprived with fear, it made them even better targets for the monster. But rumor was that there was worse on this planet. Rumors of a monster like a leopard but larger, and bigger in every imaginable sense. Stripped instead of spotted, which leaped from the underbrush with a sound. A sound that burst eardrums, paralyzed entire units, and let the monster kill with impunity. While the Leopard wrestled soldiers down and ripped their throats out. This other monster, the Tiger killed with its pounce alone. lyricwritesprose "We've been through this," Group Leader 455 snapped. "The dissection of an Earth life form will help the scientists make weapons to combat the rest of this planet's hellbeasts. And these are domesticated. Harmless." The troops were not-quite-looking at her in the way troops do when they don't want to be seen to contradict a ranking officer, but can't quite muster a correct Expression of Enthusiastic Assent. "The name of this species, she pointed out, "is synonymous with dullness and slowness in the language of the Earth barbarians." Well, one language out of several thousand these creatures needed Imperial guidance more than any other world on record-but there was no point in confusing the rank and file. More not-quite-looking. 455 bubbled a sigh and consulted her scanner. "That one," she decided. "Alone in the separate pasture. Scans suggest that it's a male, which means it's probably weaker. Possibly it's kept isolated so that the females don't eat it before mating season. And yes, I know some of you are here on punishment detail, but you're still soldiers of the Imperium. This squad is perfectly capable of handling a lone, helpless, pathetic male cow." petermorwood I'm enjoying this immensely. Wait until the aliens try Australia for size... pokemonsunburn It was a strange creature Tar'van glimpsed at on the vast island known to the humans as 'Australia' "I would warn you not to fuck with us, mate." Their forced guide, a prisioner, had warned with a chilling grin upon capture. "If you think a moose is bad, wait until you tango with a red back." To this day Tar'van fears the creature known as the red back, and what horrors it would bring. The prisioner turned out to be of little help,the stubboness of his people causing them to refuse the danger that the captured human warned of. Tar'van recalls a moment when one of his squad members approached a creature know as a dingo, insistent they had seen these creatures before and they were tame. They barely escaped with 5 of the original 7 members of his squad. Another moment Tar'van recalls was the brutal mauling they witnessed by the hands of a creature called an 'Emu "Don't feel too bad," the prisioner mocked. "We lost a war to the Emu's as well. Now with only 4 members of their squad left, including themself,, Tar'van had learned to listen to the prisoner, to be wary of the simplest of creatures. This human was of the sub-species of Zookeeper' after all. The 'Zookeeper' looks off to the distance, where the creature is. "It's a kangaroo, leave it be and you'll be fine." Tar'van nods, a human signal of acknowledgement if they are correct. The human smiles a bit. "That creature cannot possibly harm us." Tar'van's squad leader protests. "It is so docile. I will aproach it and bring back it's head to show this human is a fearmongering liar." The human reels back, a look of disgust crosses their face and anger passes through their eyes. "Fucking do it mate, I dare ya." The human hisses. The squad leader puffs up their hoinn gland, a sign of pride to their species, and aproached the so called 'Kangaroo! "This will be unpleasant." A squadmate mutters as they watch their leader raise their fist and bring it down on the creature. The 'Kangaroo' looks a little stunned by the impact, before it raises itself upon its strong tail and uses its powerful heind legs to launch their squadleader backwards through the air. Their squadleader lands upon the ground, unmoving with black blooded oozeing from them. It appears Tar'van is the squads leader now. "I don't know what they expected." the human says, smugness filling their tone. "Kangaroos are fucking shreaded. 8- pack and all." Tar'van steps forward to the human, whom inches back in a sign of fear as Tar'van pulls their blade from its holster, and in their first act as leader, frees the human of the bonds around their hands. "Please," Tar'van bags. "Get us back safely" aemiracufic @kryallaorchid, you guys really lost a war to emus? Why was it necessary? kryallaorchid oh, mate, you never mess with the emus kawaguardian (Jesus christ. Dont get us started on kangaroos) They had faced Emu's. They had lost one in the battle but had experienced them. But this was no emu. Looking to their guide, they all stare in horror as his face changes from calculating to fear. Pure, heart consuming horror as he stares at the large bird. "Cassowary... They mimic him in fear. Squawking the horrific name as another joins the first in the mad run towards them. The only ones to survive was the native guide and Tar'van. The guide was carrying the soldier over his shoulder as they made their way back to the settlement. Tar'van was a wreck. Periodically alternating between rocking in complete silence and whispering broken words in horror. When they consulted the native all he said was "Its spring.... Magpie season..." paksenarrion-reader "Listen up, troops. This armour upgrade has been tested both in the laboratories of the best Imperial military scientists and in the field. We are impervious to the stings of any insect on this hell hole of a planet, striped or not! We can brave the perils of its wildlife, and conquer it at long last! Revenge for our fallen companions! Glory to the Emperor!" "Excuse me," the native Terran guide speaks up in a tired tone, and the squad's cheers die on their lips. "This is Japan. You haven't seen what- "Silence, worm! No sting can penetrate this plating! The guide tries to warn them once again, merely earning a blow that throws them to their knees. The troops set out, morale high, certain in their ability to brave the wildlife now and thirsting for vengeance against the non-sentient native species. One soldier thumps his fist against a tree. A hollow sound follows In an instant, the soldier a storm of the striped insects. At first, no one pays it any mind. Their little stings cannot penetrate the new plating, after all the centre of But then the soldier falls to his knees, and the squad stares in horror as the insects enclose him in layer upon layer of their own bodies, all moving. The squad's medic yells a warning at everyone to stay back, watching the readouts of the unfortunate soldier's armour on their diagnostic screen with undisguised horror. The insects aren't even stinging. They simply keep moving, one atop the other, and the soldier's body temperature is slowly rising until he drops to the ground, quite literally cooked alive. The insect swarm takes off, unharmed save for the ones that were crushed when the trooper fell. Finally asked about what happened, the human sighs. "Japanese honeybees. They do this to wasps, too." murkymuse "How?" You ask. "How has your species dominated this planet?" The human bares its teeth. A smile, they call it. Something humans do when they are happy. Yet you can't help but think of all the creatures with the their large fangs and sharp teeth. (What kind of species uses a threat signal as a sign of happiness?) "Persistence and ingenuity." The human answers, still smiling. It doesn't matter that this one is your prisoner. Humans, you decide, are as terrifying as their planet. fallenwithstyle "And scattered about it were the Martians-dead!-slain by the putrefactive and disease bacteria against which their systems were unprepared; slain as the red weed was being slain; slain, after all man's devices had failed, by the humblest things that God, in his wisdom, had put upon this earth." - HG Wells, The War of the Worlds, 1898 catbountry I'm picturing aliens going up against a hoard of Canadian geese, or a swan. I think at that point they'd just give up. invaderdrey Or fire ants eeyore9990 No one even MENTIONED snakes yet... breelandwalker This thing gets better EVERY FUCKING TIME I SEE IT fir-trees-unite "Let us try the creatures that the humans keep for domestic companionship" "Is that a miniature tiger?" "Why does this human own a small pack of wolves?" The aliens ask their human captive why small wolves live with them. "Oh, you mean dogs? Yeah, they're the only animals that can keep up with us. The aliens look at each other in fear. "What do you mean?" "Oh well that's why you guys won' is because humans aren't super fast or strong. I think my middle school biology teacher called us pursuit predators? It means we evolved to hunt things by following them at walking pace until they had to stop to sleep and then catching up to them then. Dogs are the only animals that can keep up with us. Did you know one time a pack of wolves tailed a herd of caribou for three days straight?" "Uh... okay, what about these small round things with big teeth?" "Omg dude no if you give a hamster enought time that little fucker can chew through concrete :" The aliens wonder if the surrender of humanity was a trap. grimm-fairy Somebody do sharks or sea creatures next. Giant squids would wreak havoc on their ships. obsessionality The aliens have sophisticated technology which pretty much allows them to live underwater, which is something even the inventive humans have never managed. Submarines have nothing on alien submersion pods, which can withstand the crushing pressures of even the darkest depths of the oceans and seas. The aliens aren't expecting any difficulties with their underwater expeditions. Of course, that's when four of the life signs on the central screen simply vanish, like they'd never been there Alpha turns on the direct communication lines to the remaining submersion pods, and the only thing they hear through the tinny speakers is screaming. Alpha resists the urge to turn and at the shackled human standing behind them, but Beta, Gamma and Theta have no such compunctions. The human shrugs. "I mean, we've never really been down there so we're not entire sure, but we've heard stories of giant squids and stuff. No smoke without fire, and all that." "There can be neither smoke nor fire underwater, human, cease your prattling." The human snorts. "It's a phrase. A metaphor? Man, I don't know, I studied marine biology, not literature." The human is unable to tell them anything useful about what might have happened to the submersion pods, but retrieved footage later shows tentacled behemoths snaking out of the depths of disturbed silt and cold water, and crushing the submersion pods effortlessly, in full view of the outer-hull cameras. The monsters have giant beaks which rip through the organic alloy sheets, and into the bodies of the pod pilots within. The outer-hull cameras register the blue of fresh spilled blood and gore, at the same time the on-board cameras register screaming and the red glow of critical power failure. The last thing the aliens can see on the retrieved footage is thin, long, snakelike creatures appearing out of the darkness and gloom, creating their own light and descending upon the remains of their brethren. They are accompanied by creatures that look like plastic bags, but which feed upon the toxic remains of the organic alloy of which the pods were made. The human appears completely nonchalant there is no love lost between slave and master. "Wait till you see sharks." endangereduglythings I've seen this post go around a few times, but this time I have some thoughts: 1) This is more or less the plot of Animorphs 2) Earth has Poison Dart Frogs, we're clearly a Death World. 3) I'm now imagining them deciding to set up a base on the poles, because life on this planet is clearly dependant on plants. So, that frozen wasteland should be safe of any dangerous megafauna. Cue Polar Bear out of nowhere. tigriswolf GIANT SQUID. gigiree OH GOD. This is brilliant. slyrider @words-writ-in-starlight ik you've reblogged various versions of this but this one has so many more... words-writ-in-starlight MY FUCKING FAVORITE THING OKAY massivelysuperbbird Of course the aliens are not dumb. So eventually they put their head of operations in some urban area somewhere in western europe, because the humans have long ago killed all the dangerous beasts who used to live there, like bears and wolfs. But then an entire team gets murdered by a grey monstrosity the humans call "elephant" and then one of the dreaded tigers shows up and rippes the head off the consuls body. The vice consul (now new consul, apparently) runs to the human prisoneres in a rage. "You said those monsters do not live here." "I don't know man", one of the humans sais. "They aren't supposed to be here. Maybe they broke out of the zoo." And to his horror, the new consul finds out that the humans have brought animals all over the world for fun, and apparently a tiger can sneak up on you anywhere on this god forsaken planet gemtern @warsmithbryant Source: giraffepoliceforce 904,857 notes [very long] a concept for a sci-fi story which i would absolutely read the shit out of
Alive, Being Alone, and Animals: | giraffepoliceforce
 I really want a science fiction story
 where aliens come to invade earth and
 effortlessly wipe out humanity, only to
 be fought off by the wildlife.
 They were expecting military
 resistance. They weren't counting on
 bears.
 Asplintercellconviction
 Imagine coming to a hostile alien world
 and being attacked by a horde of
 creatures that can weigh up to 3 tons,
 run at 30 km/h (19 mph), and bite with a
 force of 8,100 newtons (1,800 lbf)
 By the time you realise that they can
 traverse water, it's too late. The
 surviving members of your unit manage
 to make it back by shedding their
 excess gear and running for their lives
 the slower ones were crushed to death
 within minutes
 You later describe the creature to one
 of the humans you captured, wanting to
 know the name of the monstrosity that
 will haunt your nightmares for cycles to
 come.
 The human smiles as it speaks a single
 word, slowly and distinctly, in its
 barbaric tongue
 "Hippopotamus."
 artiestroke
 This is giving me the biggest, creepiest
 grin I might have ever grinned
 skeletonmug
 Imagine being the next crew to go down
 to earth and thinking "it's fine, we got
 this. We have the weapons and
 equipment necessary to deal with bears
 and *shudders hippopotamuses. We'll
 be fine."
 And at first you are, you've learned how
 to dodge. You've learned where their
 territories are. You know how to defend
 yourself.
 But then one night you are sleeping in
 your shelter. You're in a tree covered
 temperate part of earth. It seems
 benign. There are been no sightings of
 the dreaded "hippos" around. Not even
 any bears. But there is a slight rustle of
 the undergrowth. You try and ignore it
 telling yourself it is just the wind.
 Then you hear the rustle again. closer
 this time.
 You peer out into the darkness but see
 nothing amongst the trees.
 The rustle again and now you realise
 you can smell something. It's musky
 and slightly foul. It's the smell of an
 omen, a warning. But what of? Where is
 this smell coming from.
 You sit up, but it's too late. The foul
 smelling creature is on you. You are hit
 with 17kg of coarse fur and vicious
 bites. Long dark claws tear in to you
 and you are pinned down white the
 striped creature tries to bite your throat.
 It takes some doing but you manage to
 wrestle free. Blood drips from your
 wounds and already they itch with the
 sign of infection. The creature has a
 bloodied snout, rust rad, mingling with
 the black and white hairs. It lets out a
 terrifying growl from the back of its
 throat and looks to attack again. It's
 between you and your knife, so your
 only choice is to back away.
 Eventually the creature gives up and
 snuffles off in to the undergrowth,
 down a hole near your shelter you
 hadn't noticed before.
 When you make it back to your base
 you once again consult the captive
 human.
 "Badger." they say, with a solemn nod.
 jabberwockypie
 One word: Moose
 myurbandream
 "Our vehicles are far superior to the
 local human models, in range, speed,
 armament, and any other metric you
 care to name! Nothing could possibly-"
 BAMrumblerumblethumpcrash!!
 "That's called a moose."
 morebadbookcovers
 Wolverines.
 Also.. dolphins
 ohgodhesloose
 The invasion is going slowly. The
 humans have caught on and are
 actively destroying information on the
 planet's flora and fauna before
 Intelligence can capture and process it.
 All that they have are survivors
 accounts. Bears. Hippos. Badgers.
 Moose. It is becoming obvious this
 mudball planet is a full-on Death World
 to the unprepared, and you are so very
 unprepared.
 You lost Jaxurn to a plant. Not even a
 mobile or carnivorous plant, just one
 that caused a vicious allergic reaction
 on contact that killed him in less than a
 rai'kor. Commander Vura'ko died to an
 insect bite, a tiny local pest that sucked
 a tiny bit of her blood and apparently
 replaced it witha bit of its last meal,
 which was full of disease. Backwash.
 She died to bug backwash. And yet you
 honestly envy them after that... thing
 you encountered...
 When you got back to base the
 quarantine officer refused to let you
 inside. They had to roll a containment
 tank outside to put you in, because you
 all knew there would be no chance of
 eliminating the smell if it got into the
 ship's air ducts. Smell. You wonder if
 your nasal slit will ever recover from this
 stench
 And the smell would. Not. Leave. After
 incinerating your gear the Q.O. had you
 use every cleansing agent they could
 think of, including a few janitorial ones,
 and still everyone fled the stench if they
 were downwind of your tank. Desperate
 to protect everyone's nasal slits from
 the smell the quarantine officer
 interrogated the humans. From them, a
 glimmer of hope: there was a cure.
 Somehow the juice of a certain fruit on
 this mudball was the only thing that
 could break up the chemicals in the
 little horror's spray. Immediately the
 Q.O. sent a team to recover buckets of
 the stuff and made you bathe in it. That
 was hours ago and it didn't seem to be
 working, though. All it was doing was
 turning your blue skin an interesting
 shade of purple
 Sighing in frustration you wave the
 med-assist on duty over, who only
 approaches after checking the wind
 direction. Annoyed, you flip on the
 tank's vox speaker.
 "The humans did say it was "grape"
 juice that removed "skunk" stench,
 right?
 majingojira
 Every night
 It came for someone almost every
 night
 Any soldier alone was a viable target for
 this native monster that moved unseen
 by any but the security viewers, usually
 only spotted in hindsight. They were
 taken as silently as this earth-monster
 moved. Sometimes they'd find the
 remains in the morning taken up a tree
 and hung there, mostly eaten, as if it
 were a grisly reminder that the monster
 was still there, waiting unseen, to strike
 again.
 What little they saw of the monster on
 the vidfeed showed true horror. Yellow
 eyes that shone with all the light it
 could gather. It had fangs as long as
 his grasping digits. Claws half that size
 formed curved hooks that allowed it to
 climb up their fortifications with
 impunity. And in the underbrush, its
 spots made it almost impossible to see
 clearly in the undergrowth, if it could be
 seen at all
 Even the native sentients, the humans,
 had a healthy respect and fear for it.
 The earth natives called the monster a
 leopard
 It was a constant fear that muddied the
 senses, and let the monster hunt even
 more effectively as the soldiers were
 always on edge. Sleep deprived with
 fear, it made them even better targets
 for the monster.
 But rumor was that there was worse on
 this planet. Rumors of a monster like a
 leopard but larger, and bigger in every
 imaginable sense. Stripped instead of
 spotted, which leaped from the
 underbrush with a sound.
 A sound that burst eardrums, paralyzed
 entire units, and let the monster kill with
 impunity. While the Leopard wrestled
 soldiers down and ripped their throats
 out. This other monster, the Tiger
 killed with its pounce alone.
 lyricwritesprose
 "We've been through this," Group
 Leader 455 snapped. "The dissection
 of an Earth life form will help the
 scientists make weapons to combat the
 rest of this planet's hellbeasts. And
 these are domesticated. Harmless."
 The troops were not-quite-looking at
 her in the way troops do when they
 don't want to be seen to contradict a
 ranking officer, but can't quite muster a
 correct Expression of Enthusiastic
 Assent. "The name of this species,
 she pointed out, "is synonymous with
 dullness and slowness in the language
 of the Earth barbarians." Well, one
 language out of several thousand
 these creatures needed Imperial
 guidance more than any other world on
 record-but there was no point in
 confusing the rank and file.
 More not-quite-looking. 455 bubbled a
 sigh and consulted her scanner. "That
 one," she decided. "Alone in the
 separate pasture. Scans suggest that
 it's a male, which means it's probably
 weaker. Possibly it's kept isolated so
 that the females don't eat it before
 mating season. And yes, I know some
 of you are here on punishment detail,
 but you're still soldiers of the
 Imperium. This squad is perfectly
 capable of handling a lone, helpless,
 pathetic male cow."
 petermorwood
 I'm enjoying this immensely. Wait until
 the aliens try Australia for size...
 pokemonsunburn
 It was a strange creature Tar'van
 glimpsed at on the vast island known to
 the humans as 'Australia'
 "I would warn you not to fuck with us,
 mate." Their forced guide, a prisioner,
 had warned with a chilling grin upon
 capture. "If you think a moose is bad,
 wait until you tango with a red back." To
 this day Tar'van fears the creature
 known as the red back, and what
 horrors it would bring.
 The prisioner turned out to be of little
 help,the stubboness of his people
 causing them to refuse the danger that
 the captured human warned of. Tar'van
 recalls a moment when one of his
 squad members approached a creature
 know as a dingo, insistent they had
 seen these creatures before and they
 were tame. They barely escaped with 5
 of the original 7 members of his squad.
 Another moment Tar'van recalls was the
 brutal mauling they witnessed by the
 hands of a creature called an 'Emu
 "Don't feel too bad," the prisioner
 mocked. "We lost a war to the Emu's as
 well.
 Now with only 4 members of their
 squad left, including themself,, Tar'van
 had learned to listen to the prisoner, to
 be wary of the simplest of creatures.
 This human was of the sub-species of
 Zookeeper' after all.
 The 'Zookeeper' looks off to the
 distance, where the creature is.
 "It's a kangaroo, leave it be and you'll
 be fine." Tar'van nods, a human signal
 of acknowledgement if they are correct.
 The human smiles a bit.
 "That creature cannot possibly harm
 us." Tar'van's squad leader protests. "It
 is so docile. I will aproach it and bring
 back it's head to show this human is a
 fearmongering liar."
 The human reels back, a look of disgust
 crosses their face and anger passes
 through their eyes.
 "Fucking do it mate, I dare ya." The
 human hisses. The squad leader puffs
 up their hoinn gland, a sign of pride to
 their species, and aproached the so
 called 'Kangaroo!
 "This will be unpleasant." A squadmate
 mutters as they watch their leader raise
 their fist and bring it down on the
 creature. The 'Kangaroo' looks a little
 stunned by the impact, before it raises
 itself upon its strong tail and uses its
 powerful heind legs to launch their
 squadleader backwards through the air.
 Their squadleader lands upon the
 ground, unmoving with black blooded
 oozeing from them. It appears Tar'van is
 the squads leader now.
 "I don't know what they expected." the
 human says, smugness filling their tone.
 "Kangaroos are fucking shreaded. 8-
 pack and all."
 Tar'van steps forward to the human,
 whom inches back in a sign of fear as
 Tar'van pulls their blade from its holster,
 and in their first act as leader, frees the
 human of the bonds around their
 hands.
 "Please," Tar'van bags. "Get us back
 safely"
 aemiracufic
 @kryallaorchid, you guys really lost a
 war to emus? Why was it necessary?
 kryallaorchid
 oh, mate, you never mess with the
 emus
 kawaguardian
 (Jesus christ. Dont get us started on
 kangaroos)
 They had faced Emu's. They had lost
 one in the battle but had experienced
 them. But this was no emu.
 Looking to their guide, they all stare in
 horror as his face changes from
 calculating to fear. Pure, heart
 consuming horror as he stares at the
 large bird.
 "Cassowary...
 They mimic him in fear. Squawking the
 horrific name as another joins the first
 in the mad run towards them.
 The only ones to survive was the native
 guide and Tar'van. The guide was
 carrying the soldier over his shoulder as
 they made their way back to the
 settlement.
 Tar'van was a wreck. Periodically
 alternating between rocking in
 complete silence and whispering
 broken words in horror.
 When they consulted the native all he
 said was "Its spring.... Magpie season..."
 paksenarrion-reader
 "Listen up, troops. This armour upgrade
 has been tested both in the laboratories
 of the best Imperial military scientists
 and in the field. We are impervious to
 the stings of any insect on this hell hole
 of a planet, striped or not! We can brave
 the perils of its wildlife, and conquer it
 at long last! Revenge for our fallen
 companions! Glory to the Emperor!"
 "Excuse me," the native Terran guide
 speaks up in a tired tone, and the
 squad's cheers die on their lips. "This is
 Japan. You haven't seen what-
 "Silence, worm! No sting can penetrate
 this plating!
 The guide tries to warn them once
 again, merely earning a blow that
 throws them to their knees. The troops
 set out, morale high, certain in their
 ability to brave the wildlife now and
 thirsting for vengeance against the
 non-sentient native species. One
 soldier thumps his fist against a tree. A
 hollow sound follows
 In an instant, the soldier
 a storm of the striped insects. At first,
 no one pays it any mind. Their little
 stings cannot penetrate the new
 plating, after all
 the centre of
 But then the soldier falls to his knees,
 and the squad stares in horror as the
 insects enclose him in layer upon layer
 of their own bodies, all moving. The
 squad's medic yells a warning at
 everyone to stay back, watching the
 readouts of the unfortunate soldier's
 armour on their diagnostic screen with
 undisguised horror. The insects aren't
 even stinging. They simply keep
 moving, one atop the other, and the
 soldier's body temperature is slowly
 rising until he drops to the ground,
 quite literally cooked alive. The insect
 swarm takes off, unharmed save for the
 ones that were crushed when the
 trooper fell.
 Finally asked about what happened, the
 human sighs. "Japanese honeybees.
 They do this to wasps, too."
 murkymuse
 "How?" You ask. "How has your
 species dominated this planet?"
 The human bares its teeth. A smile,
 they call it. Something humans do when
 they are happy. Yet you can't help but
 think of all the creatures with the their
 large fangs and sharp teeth. (What kind
 of species uses a threat signal as a sign
 of happiness?)
 "Persistence and ingenuity." The human
 answers, still smiling.
 It doesn't matter that this one is your
 prisoner. Humans, you decide, are as
 terrifying as their planet.
 fallenwithstyle
 "And scattered about it were the
 Martians-dead!-slain by the
 putrefactive and disease bacteria
 against which their systems were
 unprepared; slain as the red weed was
 being slain; slain, after all man's devices
 had failed, by the humblest things that
 God, in his wisdom, had put upon this
 earth."
 - HG Wells, The War of the Worlds,
 1898
 catbountry
 I'm picturing aliens going up against a
 hoard of Canadian geese, or a swan.
 I think at that point they'd just give up.
 invaderdrey
 Or fire ants
 eeyore9990
 No one even MENTIONED snakes yet...
 breelandwalker
 This thing gets better EVERY FUCKING
 TIME I SEE IT
 fir-trees-unite
 "Let us try the creatures that the
 humans keep for domestic
 companionship"
 "Is that a miniature tiger?"
 "Why does this human own a small
 pack of wolves?"
 The aliens ask their human captive why
 small wolves live with them.
 "Oh, you mean dogs? Yeah, they're the
 only animals that can keep up with us.
 The aliens look at each other in
 fear. "What do you mean?"
 "Oh well that's why you guys won' is
 because humans aren't super fast or
 strong. I think my middle school biology
 teacher called us pursuit predators? It
 means we evolved to hunt things by
 following them at walking pace until
 they had to stop to sleep and then
 catching up to them then. Dogs are the
 only animals that can keep up with us.
 Did you know one time a pack of wolves
 tailed a herd of caribou for three days
 straight?"
 "Uh... okay, what about these small
 round things with big teeth?"
 "Omg dude no if you give a hamster
 enought time that little fucker can chew
 through concrete :"
 The aliens wonder if the surrender of
 humanity was a trap.
 grimm-fairy
 Somebody do sharks or sea creatures
 next. Giant squids would wreak havoc
 on their ships.
 obsessionality
 The aliens have sophisticated
 technology which pretty much allows
 them to live underwater, which is
 something even the inventive humans
 have never managed. Submarines have
 nothing on alien submersion pods,
 which can withstand the crushing
 pressures of even the darkest depths of
 the oceans and seas.
 The aliens aren't expecting any
 difficulties with their underwater
 expeditions. Of course, that's when four
 of the life signs on the central screen
 simply vanish, like they'd never been
 there
 Alpha turns on the direct
 communication lines to the remaining
 submersion pods, and the only thing
 they hear through the tinny speakers is
 screaming.
 Alpha resists the urge to turn and
 at the shackled human standing behind
 them, but Beta, Gamma and Theta have
 no such compunctions.
 The human shrugs. "I mean, we've
 never really been down there so we're
 not entire sure, but we've heard stories
 of giant squids and stuff. No smoke
 without fire, and all that."
 "There can be neither smoke nor fire
 underwater, human, cease your
 prattling."
 The human snorts. "It's a phrase. A
 metaphor? Man, I don't know, I studied
 marine biology, not literature."
 The human is unable to tell them
 anything useful about what might have
 happened to the submersion pods, but
 retrieved footage later shows tentacled
 behemoths snaking out of the depths
 of disturbed silt and cold water, and
 crushing the submersion pods
 effortlessly, in full view of the outer-hull
 cameras. The monsters have giant
 beaks which rip through the organic
 alloy sheets, and into the bodies of the
 pod pilots within.
 The outer-hull cameras register the
 blue of fresh spilled blood and gore, at
 the same time the on-board cameras
 register screaming and the red glow of
 critical power failure.
 The last thing the aliens can see on the
 retrieved footage is thin, long, snakelike
 creatures appearing out of the darkness
 and gloom, creating their own light and
 descending upon the remains of their
 brethren. They are accompanied by
 creatures that look like plastic bags, but
 which feed upon the toxic remains of
 the organic alloy of which the pods
 were made.
 The human appears completely
 nonchalant there is no love lost
 between slave and master. "Wait till you
 see sharks."
 endangereduglythings
 I've seen this post go around a few
 times, but this time I have some
 thoughts:
 1) This is more or less the plot of
 Animorphs
 2) Earth has Poison Dart Frogs, we're
 clearly a Death World.
 3) I'm now imagining them deciding to
 set up a base on the poles, because life
 on this planet is clearly dependant on
 plants. So, that frozen wasteland should
 be safe of any dangerous megafauna.
 Cue Polar Bear out of nowhere.
 tigriswolf
 GIANT SQUID.
 gigiree
 OH GOD. This is brilliant.
 slyrider
 @words-writ-in-starlight ik you've
 reblogged various versions of this but
 this one has so many more...
 words-writ-in-starlight
 MY FUCKING FAVORITE THING OKAY
 massivelysuperbbird
 Of course the aliens are not dumb. So
 eventually they put their head of
 operations in some urban area
 somewhere in western europe, because
 the humans have long ago killed all the
 dangerous beasts who used to live
 there, like bears and wolfs. But then an
 entire team gets murdered by a grey
 monstrosity the humans call "elephant"
 and then one of the dreaded tigers
 shows up and rippes the head off the
 consuls body. The vice consul (now
 new consul, apparently) runs to the
 human prisoneres in a rage. "You said
 those monsters do not live here." "I
 don't know man", one of the humans
 sais. "They aren't supposed to be here.
 Maybe they broke out of the zoo." And
 to his horror, the new consul finds out
 that the humans have brought animals
 all over the world for fun, and
 apparently a tiger can sneak up on you
 anywhere on this god forsaken planet
 gemtern
 @warsmithbryant
 Source: giraffepoliceforce
 904,857 notes
[very long] a concept for a sci-fi story which i would absolutely read the shit out of

[very long] a concept for a sci-fi story which i would absolutely read the shit out of

Being Alone, Bad, and Blade: WHO WILL YOU SIDE WITH? YOU ARE AN ASTARTE, CALLED UPON BY THE EMPRESS TO ASSIST IN THE UNIFICATION OF HUMANITY IN THE GREAT CRUSADE! HOWEVER, UPON RECEIVING YOUR MISSION YOUR MIND IS FILLED WITH A SULTRY HAZE, WHISPERED PROMISES OF POWER, TECHNOLOGY, LUST, AND LOVE IT IS THE FORCES OF CHAOS ATTEMPTING TO SWAY YOU FROM YOUR PATH! SO WHAT WILL YOU CHOOSE ASTARTE? TEMPLATE WILL YOU CARRY ONWARD TO BRING HUMANITY INTO A NEW AGE? WILL YOU FALL TO CHAOS? PLANET/RULING-BODY WARHAMMER-GAL WARHAMMER-GALS OR WILL YOU FORGE YOUR OWN PATH AND ALLIANCES, SIDING WITH THE STRANGE RACES THAT EXPAND THROUGHOUT THE GALAXY? THE QUESTION STILL STANDS SON OF MAN, WHO WILL YOU SIDE WITH? TITLE +PRO SPRITE +PRO +PRO -CON -CON STATS LOVE POWER ITEM/ABILITY LUST TECH LOVE/LUST ITEM/ABILITY POWER FETISH FETISH TECH ITEM/ABILITY DISLIKE "DESCRIPTION" RULES: 1. YOU CAN ONLY CHOOSE ONE FACTION 2.YOU BEGIN WITH (40) POINTS 3. ALL GALS AND ITEMS WITHIN YOUR FACTION COST HALF 4. IF A GAL IS BOUGHT ALL HER ITEMS ARE OBTAINED 5.ITEMS CAN BE BOUGHT SEPARATELY FROM THE GAL 6. IF NO PRICE IS LISTED, IT CAN'T BE BOUGHT 40 IMPERIUM OF MAN EMPRESS OF MANKIND IMMORTAL MONARCH +LITERALLY GLOWS WITH BEAUTY +COMMANDS ALL OF THE IMPERIUM +KNOWS ALL YOUR DESIRES, AND LOVES THEM +/-WANTS AT LEAST 18 CHILDREN, MAYBE MORE -WILL NEVER TELL YOU WHAT SHE IS PLANNING THE BURNING BLADE GUARANTEES A VICTORY AGAINST CHAOS HOLY LAURELS- GAIN ANOTHER HUMAN LOVER MISSIONARY THE GOLDEN THRONE EXPLORATION ACQUIRE AN ELDAR TECH GIFT INTERSPECIES "THE ALL POWERFUL HEAD OF THE IMPERIUM, SHE SEEKS A BETTER FUTURE FOR HUMANITY, PERHAPS WITH YOU BY HER SIDE? 25 THE MECHANICHUM OF MARS TECH PRIESTESS THE HALL OF JUDGEMENT IMPERIAL JUDGE ADEPTUS ARBITE ORDER OF OUR MARTYRED LADY SISTER OF BATTLE OFFICIO ASSASSINORUM OFFICIO PREFECTUS [DATA REDACTED ROGUE PSYKER EVERSOR ASSASSIN LORD COMMISSAR UNFLINCHING LEADER THE ONE WHO DESTROYS ADEPT MECHANIC DAUGHTER OF THE EMPRESS VOID BORN MUTANT +LOVES TO BE THE CENTER OF ATTENTION +UPHOLDS THE LAW +COMMANDS A SLEW OF IMPERIAL REGIMENTS +FULLY CUSTOMIZABLE +GOOD WITH HER "HANDS +CAN FIX JUST ABOUT ANYTHING +EAGER TO SHOW HER DEVOTION FOR YOU +HAS QUITE THE LOVELY SMILE +GOOD FOR MORALE +STANDS FIRM WITH HER DECISIONS +NOTHING WILL STOP HER FROM GETTING TO YOU +ISA ONE WOMAN ARMY +A SKILLED WARRIOR WITH BLADE AND BOLTER +KNOWS HER WAY AROUND THE STREETS +ABSOLUTELY NOTHING +ALWAYS PRISTINE AND ORGANIZED +HAS A LOT OF HOT SIBLINGS +SEEMS TO KNOW WHATS ON YOUR MIND -WON'T WAVER THE LAW FOR YOU -LIKES TO RAMBLE ABOUT RULES RATHER ATTACHED TO HER DRUGS -NOT MANY FLESHY BITS LEFT -RARELY LOWERS HER "WALL" -HIDES UNDER A WALL OF PRUDISHNESS -ALWAYS -HAS AN EXPLOSIVE PERSONALITY -GIVES YOU HEADACHES -THINKS SHE IS GETTING ON IN YEARS -HER FAITH MAKES HER A TAD CRAZY AT TIMES -TREATS YOU LIKE A DOOFUS PSYKER'S LEXICARNUM RIOT SHIELD BOLT PISTOL TITAN STC TEMPLATE SYNSKIN BODYGLOVE MANTLE OF SAINT OPHELIA POINT THIS AT FOE OR A FEARFUL ALLY TO ABSORBS MOST DAMAGE COMING FROM ACQUIRE PLANS TO MAKE A POWERFUL COLUSSUS, IT JUST NEEDS TO BE BUILT GRANTS THE USER COMMAND OVER THE SKIN TIGHT OUTFIT THAT AMPLIFIES YOUR OWN FLEXIBILITY TO ASTONISHING HEIGHTS CALL UPON AN ENTIRE ORDER OF DEVOUT IMMATERIUM RANGED AND MELEE ATTACKS ALIKE INSPIRE YOUR TROOPS. SISTERS TO ASSIST YOU ON YOUR CRUSADE NEURO GAUNTLET- IMPERIAL VERDICT JUNIOR JUDGE BADGE- SERVITOR HOLLOW NAILS SIMULACRUM IMPERIALIS ALLOWS YOU TO ISSUE LAW UNTO IMPERIAL USED TO "SUBDUE" OTHERS, MAKING THEM GAIN ONE GIRL FROM THE MILITARUM OF WITH THE LIGHEST TOUCH, A PERSONS SENSES BECOME SUPER-SENSTIVE. SHE WILL CREATE A PERSONAL SERVANT NEGATE ONE DOWNSIDE OF ANOTHER ITEM CITIZENS GIVING YOU MORE POWER YOUR CHOOSING FOR YOU TO DO ANY BIDDING YOU DESIRE PASSIVE AT THE COST OF PERSONALITY JUSTICE TAKING CHARGE STUN MAUL LOUD SEX TOYS ASTRONOMICON HAND HOLDING BLESSING OF THE OMNISIAH- ALL MECHNICAL OBJECTS ARE INCAPABLE OF BREAKING WHILE NEAR YOU CUDDLES MELTA BOMBS POWERFIST- THE BOOK OF ST. LUCIUS OBEDIENCE € HERESY BODY MODS BODILY FLUIDS THE LAW SCRATCHING WHEN SOMETHING IS IN YOUR WAY DIRTY THOUGHTS BDSM VARYING SETTINGS FROM TINGLY TO WITH A SINGLE PUNCH YOU CAN TAKE PREVENTS YOU AND OTHER PSYKERS PURIFY CHAOS TAINT, GAIN A PURE LOVER RULE BREAKING FOREPLAY PREMARITAL SEX KISSING EXTRA CRISPY ACCEPT NOTHING ELSE TO CLEAR THE WAY DOWN A CARNIFEX FROM BEING LOST TO THE WARP "A WELL ESTABLISHED LEADER TO MANY IMPERIAL VICTORIES,SHE REFUSES TO RETIRE HER BLADE BUT MAYBE YOU'LL BE THE ONE TO EASE HER UP." "WORKING THE BEAT IN A WRETCHED HIVE CITY, HER BRANCHES EFFICIENCY HAS HELPED TURN THE TIDE OF LAWLESSNESS, NOW SHE WISHES TO AID OTHER PLANETS." "RELEASED FROM HER CAGE WITH ONLY A LOOSE OBJECTIVE, SHE DESIRES NOTHING MORE THEN THE COMPLETE ANNIHILATION OF YOUR ENEMIES." "A RECENT MEMBER TO THE ORDER OF OUR MARTYRED LADY, THIS SISTER IS EAGER TO PROVE HER DEVOTION ALONGSIDE AN ASTARTES SUCH AS YOURSELF." "THE HIGH PRIESTESS OF MARS, SHE DOTES ON YOU IN AN ALMOST ZEALOT FASHION, THOUGH YOUR UNCERTAIN WHETHER THAT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE OR NOT. "A SANCTIONED PSYKER WORKING FOR THE ROGUE TRADERS, SHE SEEMS TO HAVE TAKEN A KEEN INTEREST IN YOU, OR WHATEVER IS GOING ON IN THAT HEAD OF YOURS. 12 12 14 15 TALLARN DESERT RAIDERS NECROMUNDA HIVE WORLD FELINID SPECIALIST CATS PAW TROOPER CATACHAN DEATH WORLD GREEN DEVIL ELITE CATACHAN JUNGLE FIGHTER LEAGUE OF EMBERG CADIAN SHOCK TROOP DEATH KORPS OF KRIEG SQUAT GUILDMASTER SPACE DWARF ENGINEER #8068 ROUGH RIDER ELITE DUNE SCORPION PLASMA GUNNER DAUNTLESS CLONE TROOPER SOLDIER OF THE IMPERIUM +COURAGEOUS WARRIOR GUILDMASTER THOSE THIGHS COULD CRUSH A WATERMELON +LAUGHS IN THE FACE OF DANGER EXCITED TO SHOW YOU HER TALENTS +PHYSICALLY AFFECTIONATE +HAS A COLLECTION OF FANTASTIC TALES +COMPLETELY FEARLESS +BRED TO "SERVE" +EVERY ACTION HERO ROLLED INTO ONE +TIMIDLY SNORTS WHEN SHE LAUGHS +NEVER QUESTIONS ORDERS GIVEN TO HER +CAN OUTDRINK ANYONE +SHORT EVEN AMONGST SQUATS +/-THAT GAP IN HER TEETH WHISTLES +WANTS A BIG FAMILY +CURIOUS TO LEARN ABOUT... FEELINGS +PURRS WHEN SHE IS PLEASED +A TRULY BRAVE SOLDIER -HER BROTHERS ARE EXTREMELY PROTECTIVE -TREATS YOU LIKE THE NEW GUY -ESCHEWS WEALTH AND GLORY -VIOLENT DRUNK -WILL SHRED YOUR FURNITURE -ALMOST SELF-DESTRUCTIVELY SO -KEEPS BRINGING YOU BLOODY TROPHIES -SMELLS A BIT LIKE SULPHUR -HONESTLY KIND OF NAIVE -VERY EMBARRESED WHEN NAKED -IS A TOTAL PUSSY -PROBALY GOING TO DIE TIGERS FELL CLAW A POWERFUL FELINID WEAPON, IT CAN SHEAR CLEAN THROUGH MOST THINGS CATACHAN FANG IMPERIAL INFANTRYMAN'S PRIMER REGIMENT'S WAR STANDARD SUPER HEAVY ARTILLERY BATTERY ORK SPORE ROTGUT IF GIVEN TO AN IMPERIAL SOLDIER THEY 20 INCHES OF GLEAMING STEEL, RENDS A OBTAIN 10 POWER POINTS TO SPEND ON CONSUMER BECOMES PASSIVE, THINGS APPEAR MUCH LARGER THEN THEY ARE REMOVE ONE THREAT FROM THE HISTORY VENUS MANTRAP WITH A SINGLE SWIPE WILL BE INSPIRED TO GREAT DEEDS MORE TROOPS FROM THE MILITARUM BOOKS ENGINEER # 8068 MASK WELL WORN RED BANDANA KITTY OBSCURA MUKAALI WARBEAST REINFORCED FLAK ARMOR DIRE AMASEC- A MASSIVE ANIMAL CAPABLE OF HAULING OTHER CATACHAN FIGHTERS ACCEPT YOU NEGATE ALL MORALE OR EMOTION BASED A POPULAR FELINID DRUG, IT SENDS ANY EASILY THE STRONGEST PROTECTION IN CONSUMER CAN SEE THROUGH GARMENTS YOU ACROSS EVEN THE HARSHEST TERRAIN THE GALAXY AS LONG AS YOU ARE FAITHFUL ISSUES WHILE WORN INTO THEIR TEAM, A TRUE HONOR FEMALE INTO A HEATED TIZZY HAIR PULLING BODY PAINT GENTLE SEX LICKING FRESH PAIR OF SOCKS ANCIENT ORDINATUS MAP- A MAP LEADING TO A WAR ENDING DEVICE JACKHAMMERING DNA SPLICER TAKING ORDERS EXO-ARMOUR BELT SUB BECOMES STUCK TO THE DOM'S GENITALS KORPS CLONE VATS M35 M-GALAXY SHORT PATTERN LASGUN OUTDOOR SEX FACE TOUCHING CHOKING DRUNKEN SEX COWGIRL EAR RUBS PRONE POSITION IMMENSELY POWERFUL AND ACCURATE CREATE YOUR OWN PERSONAL ARMY OF KRIEGERS AN ANCIENT RELIC USED TO CREATE YOU ARE GOING TO NEED THESE, AND SHE SHAVING CAT CALLING BOSSY PARTNERS PILLOW TALK COWARDICE BROUGHT A SPARE FOR YOU SOMEWHERE IN THE EXPANSIVE DESERT HALF ANIMAL ABHUMANS FEARFUL TO FOES OF THE IMPERIUM "A VETERAN OF HELLISH COMBAT CONDITIONS, SHE SEEMS TO COMPLETELY LACK AN OFF SWITCH, BUT VERY MUCH ENJOYS HAVING YOU AS A HUNTING BUDDY NONETHELESS. "FAMED FOR HER SKILLS ON HORSEBACK, SHE ONLY FEELS FREE WITH THE WIND BLOWING ACROSS HER FACE." "A NAMELESS SOLDIER, ONLY IDENTIFIED BY HER RED NECKERCHIEF. SHES QUIET, BUT YOU WOULDNT WANT ANYONE ELSE IN THAT FOX HOLE BESIDE YOU. "HER HOMEWORLD WAS DEVOURED BY TYRANIDS, AND HER ENTIRE RACE WAS SPLINTERED THROUGHOUT THE GALAXY. SHE DESIRES TO UNIFY HER PEOPLE. "A MEMBER OF THE RARE FELINE ABHUMANS, SHE HOPES TO PROVE HER PEOPLE ARE MORE THEN JUST EXOTIC NOVELTIES. "HER HOME RECENTLY DESTROYED, SHE LIVES AMONGST THE STARS IN A GIANT VESSEL, TASKED WITH PROTECTING ALL OF HUMANITY THROUGHOUT THE GALAXY." 10 15 16 10 TAU EMPIRE TRAVELING WARSPHERES HIVE FLEET BEHEMOTH OLD ONE EYE EVIL SUNZ THE OUTER REACH PLANET VESPID FIRE WARRIOR CADRE COMMANDÉR KROOT SHAPER VESPID STINGWING TAU AUXILIARY TROOPER GENESTEALER ORK WARBOSS WHITE FANG OILGUZZLER KINDRED MERCENARY STONEFIST CARNIFEX CORPORAPTOR HOMINIS +LEADS HER OWN WAAAGH +HYPER ADAPTIVE BODY +A CAREFREE AIRHEAD +A WALKING DERVISH OF BLADES +TRIES HER BEST TO BE A GOOD MATE +SMELLS LIKE BLUEBERRIES +CAN WORK ALONGSIDE ANY RACE +A GREAT CHEF TIMID FOR A CARNIFEX +LIKES TO PLAY CHASE +ONCE PUNCHED A SPACE BUG TO DEFF +GOOD WITH DIPLOMANCY +GREAT FLYER AND SCOUT +0DDLY CUDDLY +LOVES TO BE PHYSICAL +DA MOST BIGGEST GAL OF HER TRIBE +EAGER TO GAIN YOU AS AN ALLY +HAPPY TO CARRY YOU AROUND JUST DONT ASK ABOUT THE INGREDIENTS LACKS DEPTH PERCEPTION CRIES WHEN SHE IS ALONE THAT HAIR IS JUST A WEAVE -PREACHES SPACE COMMUNISM NON-STOP -MOSTLY SPEAKS IN SHRIEKS DARK SENSE OF HUMOR COMPLETE AND UTTER WEEB ACCIDENTALLY BREAKS THINGS IN HER WAY HER TEARS ARE ACID SHE WILL KRUMP YOUR PELVIS BOY -HAS REALLY ROUGH SKIN HOUND HORN MOLTED CARAPACE CHITIN CHUNK ADRENAL GLANDS MV52 SHIELD DRONE- WAAAAAAAAAAGH STICK CALL UPON A MASSIVE KROOT HOUND PACK TO DEVOUR YOUR ENEMIES BECOME UNABLE TO RUN OUT OF ENERGY DENSE AND THICK, THIS NATURAL ARMOR APROTOTYPE SHIELD DRONE THAT HAS A WHEN GROUND INTO A HOT BEVERAGE IT 9 GAIN AN UTTERLY MASSIVE ORK WARBAND CAN BE USED AS AN AMAZING SHIELD FOR A PROLONGED PERIOD SURPRISINGLY ACTIVE PERSONALITY BECOMES A POWERFUL APHRODISIAC AS WELL AS THIS ODDLY PHALLIC POLE LOVERS FEAST PHEROMONE TUBE THIS TUBE EMITS A SOFT FRAGRANT SCENT TOXIC SACS WAIFU WALL POSTER COMMUNION HELM- ADAPTING SPORES- AN OVER THE TOP PAINTING OF O'SHASERRA ALLOWS THE KROOT TO ADAPT MORE WHEN INJECTED ALL BODILY SENSES ARE WHEN WORN YOU ARE CAPABLE OF GAIN THE ABILITY TO MATE WITH ALL AMPLIFIED IMMENSELY FOR A SHORT TIME ABUNDANT FEATURES FOR HUMAN LOVERS THAT LURES WOMEN TO YOU THAT YOU CAN'T HELP BUT ADMIRE TALKING TO ANY RACE VIA TELEPATHY RACES OR EVEN INANIMATE OBJECTS BACKRUBS IMPREGNATION GOOD GENES WEAK MATES CLAW-PLAY ESKIMO KISSES KROOT GLANDS GIVES YOU THE ABILITY TO ADAPT BASED SLAVE-PLAY DOMINANCE RIPPER SWARMS MEGA CHOPPA DA SHINIEST SET OF WHEELS THIS SIDE OF DA GALAXY, AROUSES ALL DA ORK LADIES MESOPLARUM ARMOR- YMGARL MUTATION SEED- XV22 STEALTHSUIT PHEROMONES QUICKIES CUM ON WINGS VORE SMALL BOYZ CUMSHOTS A FRANTIC PACK OF TYRANID RIPPERS LIKES AND DISLIKES BECOME THAT OF A EXPERIMENTAL BATTLESUIT THAT USES RESIST ALL ENERGY BASED WEAPONS FOODPLAY WASTING FLUIDS CUDDLING ROUGH SEX ON WHAT YOU EAT SIMILAR TO THE KROOT ANOTHER PERSONS THAT WILL DO YOUR BIDDING CLOAKING TECHNOLOGY TO GO INVISIBLE WHEN WORN "LEADER TO HER OWN WARBAND, SHE AND HER WARRIORS SEEK TO BECOME THE PERFECT MATES FOR THEIR LOVERS THROUGH USE OF THEIR ADAPTIVE TRAITS. "FLOATING ALONE IN A SPACE HULK FOR WHO KNOWS HOW LONG, SHE DESIRES A MATE AND PURPOSE, WILL YOU HELP HER?" "AN ORK WHO GAINED HER TITLE THROUGH KRUMPING SKULLS. SHE WILL NOT ACCEPT THAT ANYONE COULD FEASIBLY BE STRONGER THAN HER. DARE YOU TRY? "A YOUNG FIRE SQUAD LEADER, THE PROSPECT OF GAINING YOU AS AN ALLY HAS HER OVERTLY EXCITED. "AFTER LEADING SEVERAL SUCCESSFUL MISSIONS, SHE WAS ALLOWED TO WORK ON HER OWN. SHE HAS DECIDED TO JOIN A NEW FORCE AND SEE WHAT THEY OFFER." "ABANDONED ON AN ICEWORLD, LONG LOST TO HER HIVE, SHE DUG HERSELF FREE FROM AN ICY PRISON. NOW SHE IS HUNGRY AND DETERMINED TO FIND A NEW HOME. 30 10 11 THE DARK CITY COMMORRAGH KABALITE WARRIOR 16 TOMBWORLD PAVONIS SAUTEKH DYNASTY ULTHWE CRAFTWORLD TALDEER THE OUTER REACH BIEL-TAN CRAFTWORLD THE NIGHT BRINGER CTAN SHARD SHADOWSEER NECRON WARRIOR МАCНA TOMB WORLD GUARDIAN HARLEQUIN MASQUE PLAYER SYBARITE OF THE BLACK HEART ELDAR FARSEER ELDAR FARSEER +A SUCKER FOR ATTENTION +INCREDIBLE ENDURANCE MOTHER WARNED YOU ABOUT GIRLS LIKE HER +INTO REAL KINKY SHIT +WRITES PASSIONATE LUSTY TALES FOR YOU +FLEXIBLE AS A RUBBER BAND +WIELDS POWERFUL PSYCHIC ABILITIES +IMMORTALITY IS PRETTY GREAT +FORGIVES YOU FOR ANY MISTAKE YOU MAKE +LIKES TO STICK HER NECK OUT FOR YOU +CAN PLAY THE ROLE OF JUST ABOUT ANYONE +A BEACON OF HOPE FOR HER PEOPLE +A TOTAL FLIRT +A LITERAL GOD-BEING +CUTE UNDER THAT MASK +HAPPY TO INDULGE YOU +ETERNALLY YOUNG AND SUPPLE +CLAIMS OF MANY SEXUAL EXPLOITS -DOES NOT UNDERSTAND THE WORD NO -THE WAY SHE HEALS IS A BIT CREEPY -IS NEVER GOING TO TAKE IT OFF -IS ACTUALLY A VIRGIN WITHERS AWAY IF SHES NOT HURTING THINGS -LIKES TO NAG YOU -NOT WHAT SHE USED TO BE -LIKES TO TAKE LONG NAPS -ALWAYS IN CHARACTER -YOU MAKE A DELIGHTFUL PINCUSHION ARROGANCE YOU CAN ONLY ADMIRE INSUFFERABLY SO ENTROPIC SCYTHE MIST STAVE A WEAPON THAT CHANNELS MENTAL FORCE TO CRUSH ARMOR AND BONES METAL BAND-AID SOUL STONE IF YOU PERISH WHILST WEARING THIS GEM GHOSTHELM SHADOW FIELD AT THE COST OF A LIFE YOU CAN REVIVE MAGNETIC AND FLEXIBLE, THIS ITEM FIXES CONCEALS YOUR MENTAL PRESENCE GAIN A PROTECTIVE BARRIER OF SHADOW ANOTHER PERSON. ANYTHING DAMAGED UNDERNEATH IT YOUR SOUL WILL BE RETAINED INSIDE IT FROM THE WARP AND MIST EVERFLOWING COWL CONCEALS THE FACIAL DETAILS OF ANYONE DOG-EARRED PLAY SCRIPT TWITCHY SCARAB VIBROBLADE CLEAVES THROUGH THE TOUGHEST ARMOR COMBAT DRUGS MACHA'S VIBROSWORD A CURIOUS SCARAB PET, IT SEEMS TO BE A HANDFULL OF STRANGE PILLS THAT HELP GAIN THE ABILITY TO UNDERSTAND SLIGHTLY USED, TALDEER DOESN'T LIKE HOLDING IT, BUT MAYBE YOU WILL WHO WEARS THIS BROKEN AND HUMS CONSTANTLY INTERPRETIVE DANCE FROM ANY RACE AMPLIFY PHYSICAL CAPABILITIES VIBRATING TENDERLY ALL THE WHILE EATING NECRODERMIS HEAD-PATS VOYEURISM GAUSS GUN PAIN PLAY THE PANACEA EDGING ACTUAL SEX EMBARASSMENT SWEET TALK FLIP BELT- STAFF OF ULTHAMAR RUNE ARMOUR RAPE-PLAY HAVE YOUR FLESH REPLACED WITH A CLANG-CLANG ROLEPLAY LATEX POWERFUL RIFLE THAT BREAKS DOWN WHILE WORN, YOU HAVE CONTROL OVER KISSING A POWERFUL PSYCHIC WEAPON, WILL HELP YOU GARNER RESPECT, EVEN WITH ELDAR A CURE FOR ALL KNOWN EARTHLY ELEGANT WRAITHBONE ARMOUR THAT ENSLAVEMENT MORNING SEX LIVING METAL THAT REPAIRS ITSELF CRITICS SLUTS ANYTHING IT HITS AT THE ATOMIC LEVEL GENTLE SEX YOUR OWN GRAVITY DISEASES DEFENDS YOU FROM PSYCHIC ATTACKS "A ONCE POWERFUL BEING THAT HUNGERS FOR ALL, SHE IS PLEASED WITH YOU FOR FREEING HER FROM HER BINDS, THOUGH YOU'RE UNCERTAIN IF IT WAS A GOOD IDEA." "ASLEEP FOR EONS, THIS WARRIOR HAS FINALLY AWOKEN. SHE IS EXCITED TO SEEWHAT SHE HASMISSED AND IS EAGER TO EXPLORE THE GALAXY AGAIN. "A SOLO TROUPE HARLEQUIN THAT TREATS YOU LIKE ANOTHER ACTOR IN HER OWN PERSONAL PLAY, THOUGH YOUR PART SEEMS TO BE THAT OF HER BELOVED. "LEFT ALONE ON A HELLISH WORLD BY HER COMPATRIOTS, SHE THOUGHT HER LIFE FORFEIT TILL YOU SAVED HER. NOW SHE'S BECOME QUITE ATTACHED TO YOU." "A DAUGHTER OF THE GREAT ELDRAD, EVER PLOTTING, EVEN AMONGST HER OWN PEOPLE, RARELY DO THEY KNOW HER OWN MACHINATIONS. "A DAUGHTER OF THE GREAT ELDRAD, SHE IS ONE OF THE MOST TALENTED FARSEERS BIEL-TAN, HO EVER HER DESPERATION FOR LOVE HINDERS HER FOCUS 40 11 11 11 11 CULT OF CHAOS UNDIVIDED CHAOS CULTIST CHILD OF CHAOS REALM OF DEATH AND DECA NURGLE GRANDMA NURGLE ABANDONED WARPSPACE GREAT SKULL THRONE KHORNE LADY OF RAGE KINGDOM OF PLEASURE SLAANESH SHE WHO THIRSTS THE CRYSTAL LABYRINTH MALAL TZEENTCH FORGOTTEN CHAOS GODDESS CHANGER OF WAYS THE "BELOVED" DAUGHTER OF CHAOS GODS +SEEKS TO RUIN THE OTHER CHAOS GODS +GOD OF SEX, DRUGS, AND ROCK-N-ROLL +MAKES A MEAN SOUP LOVES PLAYING GAMES WITH YOU GODDESS OF BLOOD, WAR, AND MURDER INCREDIBLY OPTIMISTIC RARELY WORRIES ABOUT THINGS +DOESN'T ASK MUCH OF YOU +CURVACEOUS IN ALL THE RIGHT PLACES INTO DOING EVERYTHING WITH YOU +WILL ALWAYS BE DIRECT WITH YOU A GREAT TEACHER +IMMORTAL VIA A POWERFUL NURGLE BLESSING HOTTEST THING IN EXISTENCE +/-SWITCHES FROM SUB TO DOM IN A SNAP +SURPRISINGLY EASY TO PLEASE +ALWAYS HAS A PLAN B SPAEKS IN HWA TUNGE OO KHAY-OS -INCREDIBLY RESTLESS -PLANS MAKE NO SENSE -PRANKSTER AT HEART BEING WITH HER OUSTS YOU FROM OTHERS -THAT ISN'T FAT -ALSO INTO SOME REALLY FREAKY STUFF NOT THE SHARPEST KNIFE IN THE DRAWER WHAT IS DOWN THERE?! A REAL BAD INFLUENCE -SPEAKS ONLY BY YELLING -GROSS ON A WHOLE NEW LEVEL DISC OF TZEENTCH- FORSAKEN AXE- HORN OF NURGLE THE CRIMSON SKULL CROWN BLADE OF THE LAER A RATHER PRETTY LOOKING SKULL A POSSESSED WEAPON INFUSED WITH PLAYING THIS HORN SUMMONS THE DEAD GAIN A DEMONIC ENTITY THAT CAN SOAR GAIN A RATHER UNHAPPY CHAMPION OF KHORNES FAVORITE SKULL, IF YOU HOLD IT SHE WILL LISTEN TO YOUR REQUESTS MARK OF KHORNE- WHEN SLAIN YOUR KILLER WILL SLOWLY DAEMONIC ENERGY THAT HEWS ANYTHING TO RISE AND FOLLOW YOUR ORDERS THE ETHERIC LEYLINES AS A MOUNT YOUR CHOOSING BLOOD OF SLAANESH TURN INTO YOU MARK OF NURGLE- MONOCHROME MASK MARK OF TZEENTCH- MARK OF SLAANESH GIVES YOU THE POWERS OF A DAEMON AND THE CULTIST ASCENDS TO PRINCEHOOD BECOME A MASTER OF ANY WEAPON YOU10 YOU ARE PROTECTED FROM WORLDY HARM ENDURE THE MOST GRIEVIOUS WOUNDS BECOME A MASTER OF THE SEXUAL ARTS10 MAKING YOU HER CHAMPION A TWISTED POWERFUL BODY TO MATCH WIELD IN YOUR HANDS AND PAINFUL STRIKES VIA AN INVISIBLE SHIELD oRe THE ENDLESS GRIMOIRE OF TZEENTCH GAIN A SINGLE FAVOR FROM A CHAOS GOD LOVE BITES TEASING EROTIC LIT INDIFFERENCE SURPRISES BLOOD-PLAY GORECHILD MANREAPER EVERYTHING SLOPPY KISSES DOOM GUITAR- THE BLACK BOOK THE BLACK STAFF RITUAL MATING CREATIVITY PRUDES WORSHIP PASSIONATE SEX BELLY RUBS A CORRUPT STAFF OF VAST POWER WHICH AMPLIFIES THE NOTES YOU STRUM TO A STRANGE BOOK THAT GIVES YOU DARK A BLESSED CHAINAXE THAT BECOMES COATED WITH VIRULENT DISEASES AND NEGLECT PLANNED SEX OF YOUR CHOOSING BOTTOMING BATHS THE POINT OF EXPLOSIVE SONIC ENERGY. KNOWLEDGE OF THE UNIVERSE FILTH THAT ROTS FLESH TO THE TOUCH MORE POWERFUL THE MORE YOU KILL GIVES ITS USER DEFT PSYCHIC ABILITIES "THE APPARENT DAUGHTER OF CHAOS, IT'S SAID SHE IS DESTINED FOR GREATNESS, ALTHOUGH SHE HAS YET TO SEEM SO GREAT." "BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GODDESS! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE! "WAIT ARE YOU SERIOUS? YOU THINK YOU CAN TAKE THE PRINCE OF PLEASURE?! WELL A CHALLENGE IS ALWAYS WELCOME, AND HE THINKS YOU ARE QUITE CUTE. "OF ALL THE GODS, SHE HOLDS THE CRUELEST SENSE OF HUMOR. HER LOVE OF RIDDLES, WORD PLAY, AND DRY WIT, TORMENTING OTHERS TO INSANITY. "WANDERING A LIFELESS VOID IN THE WARP, THIS UNREMEMBERED GODDESS SEEKS TO FOIL HER SISTERS PLANS, NOT FOR REVENGE, BUT JUST BECAUSE IT CAN BE DONE." ELDEST OF THE CHAOS GODS, SHE'S FAIRLY LAZY IN HER ROLE, BUT STILL QUITE POWERFUL WHEN SHE DECIDES TO ACT." CHAOS ELDER XENOS MILITARUM ADMINISTRATUM THE EMPRESS SONENS Behold!
Being Alone, Bad, and Blade: WHO WILL YOU SIDE WITH?
 YOU ARE AN ASTARTE, CALLED UPON BY THE EMPRESS TO ASSIST IN THE UNIFICATION OF HUMANITY IN THE GREAT CRUSADE!
 HOWEVER, UPON RECEIVING YOUR MISSION YOUR MIND IS FILLED WITH A SULTRY HAZE, WHISPERED PROMISES OF POWER, TECHNOLOGY, LUST, AND LOVE
 IT IS THE FORCES OF CHAOS ATTEMPTING TO SWAY YOU FROM YOUR PATH!
 SO WHAT WILL YOU CHOOSE ASTARTE?
 TEMPLATE
 WILL YOU CARRY ONWARD TO BRING HUMANITY INTO A NEW AGE?
 WILL YOU FALL TO CHAOS?
 PLANET/RULING-BODY
 WARHAMMER-GAL
 WARHAMMER-GALS
 OR WILL YOU FORGE YOUR OWN PATH AND ALLIANCES, SIDING WITH THE STRANGE RACES THAT EXPAND THROUGHOUT THE GALAXY?
 THE QUESTION STILL STANDS SON OF MAN, WHO WILL YOU SIDE WITH?
 TITLE
 +PRO
 SPRITE
 +PRO
 +PRO
 -CON
 -CON
 STATS
 LOVE
 POWER ITEM/ABILITY
 LUST
 TECH
 LOVE/LUST ITEM/ABILITY
 POWER
 FETISH
 FETISH
 TECH ITEM/ABILITY
 DISLIKE
 "DESCRIPTION"
 RULES:
 1. YOU CAN ONLY CHOOSE ONE FACTION
 2.YOU BEGIN WITH (40) POINTS
 3. ALL GALS AND ITEMS WITHIN YOUR FACTION COST HALF
 4. IF A GAL IS BOUGHT ALL HER ITEMS ARE OBTAINED
 5.ITEMS CAN BE BOUGHT SEPARATELY FROM THE GAL
 6. IF NO PRICE IS LISTED, IT CAN'T BE BOUGHT
 40
 IMPERIUM OF MAN
 EMPRESS OF MANKIND
 IMMORTAL MONARCH
 +LITERALLY GLOWS WITH BEAUTY
 +COMMANDS ALL OF THE IMPERIUM
 +KNOWS ALL YOUR DESIRES, AND LOVES THEM
 +/-WANTS AT LEAST 18 CHILDREN, MAYBE MORE
 -WILL NEVER TELL YOU WHAT SHE IS PLANNING
 THE BURNING BLADE
 GUARANTEES A VICTORY AGAINST CHAOS
 HOLY LAURELS-
 GAIN ANOTHER HUMAN LOVER
 MISSIONARY
 THE GOLDEN THRONE
 EXPLORATION
 ACQUIRE AN ELDAR TECH GIFT
 INTERSPECIES
 "THE ALL POWERFUL HEAD OF THE IMPERIUM, SHE SEEKS A BETTER FUTURE FOR
 HUMANITY, PERHAPS WITH YOU BY HER SIDE?
 25
 THE MECHANICHUM OF MARS
 TECH PRIESTESS
 THE HALL OF JUDGEMENT
 IMPERIAL JUDGE
 ADEPTUS ARBITE
 ORDER OF OUR MARTYRED LADY
 SISTER OF BATTLE
 OFFICIO ASSASSINORUM
 OFFICIO PREFECTUS
 [DATA REDACTED
 ROGUE PSYKER
 EVERSOR ASSASSIN
 LORD COMMISSAR
 UNFLINCHING LEADER
 THE ONE WHO DESTROYS
 ADEPT MECHANIC
 DAUGHTER OF THE EMPRESS
 VOID BORN MUTANT
 +LOVES TO BE THE CENTER OF ATTENTION
 +UPHOLDS THE LAW
 +COMMANDS A SLEW OF IMPERIAL REGIMENTS
 +FULLY CUSTOMIZABLE
 +GOOD WITH HER "HANDS
 +CAN FIX JUST ABOUT ANYTHING
 +EAGER TO SHOW HER DEVOTION FOR YOU
 +HAS QUITE THE LOVELY SMILE
 +GOOD FOR MORALE
 +STANDS FIRM WITH HER DECISIONS
 +NOTHING WILL STOP HER FROM GETTING TO YOU
 +ISA ONE WOMAN ARMY
 +A SKILLED WARRIOR WITH BLADE AND BOLTER
 +KNOWS HER WAY AROUND THE STREETS
 +ABSOLUTELY NOTHING
 +ALWAYS PRISTINE AND ORGANIZED
 +HAS A LOT OF HOT SIBLINGS
 +SEEMS TO KNOW WHATS ON YOUR MIND
 -WON'T WAVER THE LAW FOR YOU
 -LIKES TO RAMBLE ABOUT RULES
 RATHER ATTACHED TO HER DRUGS
 -NOT MANY FLESHY BITS LEFT
 -RARELY LOWERS HER "WALL"
 -HIDES UNDER A WALL OF PRUDISHNESS
 -ALWAYS
 -HAS AN EXPLOSIVE PERSONALITY
 -GIVES YOU HEADACHES
 -THINKS SHE IS GETTING ON IN YEARS
 -HER FAITH MAKES HER A TAD CRAZY AT TIMES
 -TREATS YOU LIKE A DOOFUS
 PSYKER'S LEXICARNUM
 RIOT SHIELD
 BOLT PISTOL
 TITAN STC TEMPLATE
 SYNSKIN BODYGLOVE
 MANTLE OF SAINT OPHELIA
 POINT THIS AT FOE OR A FEARFUL ALLY TO
 ABSORBS MOST DAMAGE COMING FROM
 ACQUIRE PLANS TO MAKE A POWERFUL
 COLUSSUS, IT JUST NEEDS TO BE BUILT
 GRANTS THE USER COMMAND OVER THE
 SKIN TIGHT OUTFIT THAT AMPLIFIES YOUR
 OWN FLEXIBILITY TO ASTONISHING HEIGHTS
 CALL UPON AN ENTIRE ORDER OF DEVOUT
 IMMATERIUM
 RANGED AND MELEE ATTACKS ALIKE
 INSPIRE YOUR TROOPS.
 SISTERS TO ASSIST YOU ON YOUR CRUSADE
 NEURO GAUNTLET-
 IMPERIAL VERDICT
 JUNIOR JUDGE BADGE-
 SERVITOR
 HOLLOW NAILS
 SIMULACRUM IMPERIALIS
 ALLOWS YOU TO ISSUE LAW UNTO IMPERIAL
 USED TO "SUBDUE" OTHERS, MAKING THEM
 GAIN ONE GIRL FROM THE MILITARUM OF
 WITH THE LIGHEST TOUCH, A PERSONS
 SENSES BECOME SUPER-SENSTIVE.
 SHE WILL CREATE A PERSONAL SERVANT
 NEGATE ONE DOWNSIDE OF ANOTHER ITEM
 CITIZENS GIVING YOU MORE POWER
 YOUR CHOOSING
 FOR YOU TO DO ANY BIDDING YOU DESIRE
 PASSIVE AT THE COST OF PERSONALITY
 JUSTICE
 TAKING CHARGE
 STUN MAUL
 LOUD SEX
 TOYS
 ASTRONOMICON
 HAND HOLDING
 BLESSING OF THE OMNISIAH-
 ALL MECHNICAL OBJECTS ARE INCAPABLE
 OF BREAKING WHILE NEAR YOU
 CUDDLES
 MELTA BOMBS
 POWERFIST-
 THE BOOK OF ST. LUCIUS
 OBEDIENCE
 € HERESY
 BODY MODS
 BODILY FLUIDS
 THE LAW
 SCRATCHING
 WHEN SOMETHING IS IN YOUR WAY
 DIRTY THOUGHTS
 BDSM
 VARYING SETTINGS FROM TINGLY TO
 WITH A SINGLE PUNCH YOU CAN TAKE
 PREVENTS YOU AND OTHER PSYKERS
 PURIFY CHAOS TAINT, GAIN A PURE LOVER
 RULE BREAKING
 FOREPLAY
 PREMARITAL SEX
 KISSING
 EXTRA CRISPY
 ACCEPT NOTHING ELSE TO CLEAR THE WAY
 DOWN A CARNIFEX
 FROM BEING LOST TO THE WARP
 "A WELL ESTABLISHED LEADER TO MANY IMPERIAL VICTORIES,SHE REFUSES TO RETIRE
 HER BLADE BUT MAYBE YOU'LL BE THE ONE TO EASE HER UP."
 "WORKING THE BEAT IN A WRETCHED HIVE CITY, HER BRANCHES EFFICIENCY HAS
 HELPED TURN THE TIDE OF LAWLESSNESS, NOW SHE WISHES TO AID OTHER PLANETS."
 "RELEASED FROM HER CAGE WITH ONLY A LOOSE OBJECTIVE, SHE DESIRES NOTHING
 MORE THEN THE COMPLETE ANNIHILATION OF YOUR ENEMIES."
 "A RECENT MEMBER TO THE ORDER OF OUR MARTYRED LADY, THIS SISTER IS EAGER
 TO PROVE HER DEVOTION ALONGSIDE AN ASTARTES SUCH AS YOURSELF."
 "THE HIGH PRIESTESS OF MARS, SHE DOTES ON YOU IN AN ALMOST ZEALOT FASHION,
 THOUGH YOUR UNCERTAIN WHETHER THAT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE OR NOT.
 "A SANCTIONED PSYKER WORKING FOR THE ROGUE TRADERS, SHE SEEMS TO HAVE
 TAKEN A KEEN INTEREST IN YOU, OR WHATEVER IS GOING ON IN THAT HEAD OF YOURS.
 12
 12
 14
 15
 TALLARN DESERT RAIDERS
 NECROMUNDA HIVE WORLD
 FELINID SPECIALIST
 CATS PAW TROOPER
 CATACHAN DEATH WORLD
 GREEN DEVIL ELITE
 CATACHAN JUNGLE FIGHTER
 LEAGUE OF EMBERG
 CADIAN SHOCK TROOP
 DEATH KORPS OF KRIEG
 SQUAT GUILDMASTER
 SPACE DWARF
 ENGINEER #8068
 ROUGH RIDER ELITE
 DUNE SCORPION
 PLASMA GUNNER
 DAUNTLESS CLONE TROOPER
 SOLDIER OF THE IMPERIUM
 +COURAGEOUS WARRIOR GUILDMASTER
 THOSE THIGHS COULD CRUSH A WATERMELON
 +LAUGHS IN THE FACE OF DANGER
 EXCITED TO SHOW YOU HER TALENTS
 +PHYSICALLY AFFECTIONATE
 +HAS A COLLECTION OF FANTASTIC TALES
 +COMPLETELY FEARLESS
 +BRED TO "SERVE"
 +EVERY ACTION HERO ROLLED INTO ONE
 +TIMIDLY SNORTS WHEN SHE LAUGHS
 +NEVER QUESTIONS ORDERS GIVEN TO HER
 +CAN OUTDRINK ANYONE
 +SHORT EVEN AMONGST SQUATS
 +/-THAT GAP IN HER TEETH WHISTLES
 +WANTS A BIG FAMILY
 +CURIOUS TO LEARN ABOUT... FEELINGS
 +PURRS WHEN SHE IS PLEASED
 +A TRULY BRAVE SOLDIER
 -HER BROTHERS ARE EXTREMELY PROTECTIVE
 -TREATS YOU LIKE THE NEW GUY
 -ESCHEWS WEALTH AND GLORY
 -VIOLENT DRUNK
 -WILL SHRED YOUR FURNITURE
 -ALMOST SELF-DESTRUCTIVELY SO
 -KEEPS BRINGING YOU BLOODY TROPHIES
 -SMELLS A BIT LIKE SULPHUR
 -HONESTLY KIND OF NAIVE
 -VERY EMBARRESED WHEN NAKED
 -IS A TOTAL PUSSY
 -PROBALY GOING TO DIE
 TIGERS FELL CLAW
 A POWERFUL FELINID WEAPON, IT CAN
 SHEAR CLEAN THROUGH MOST THINGS
 CATACHAN FANG
 IMPERIAL INFANTRYMAN'S PRIMER
 REGIMENT'S WAR STANDARD
 SUPER HEAVY ARTILLERY BATTERY
 ORK SPORE ROTGUT
 IF GIVEN TO AN IMPERIAL SOLDIER THEY
 20 INCHES OF GLEAMING STEEL, RENDS A
 OBTAIN 10 POWER POINTS TO SPEND ON
 CONSUMER BECOMES PASSIVE, THINGS
 APPEAR MUCH LARGER THEN THEY ARE
 REMOVE ONE THREAT FROM THE HISTORY
 VENUS MANTRAP WITH A SINGLE SWIPE
 WILL BE INSPIRED TO GREAT DEEDS
 MORE TROOPS FROM THE MILITARUM
 BOOKS
 ENGINEER # 8068 MASK
 WELL WORN RED BANDANA
 KITTY OBSCURA
 MUKAALI WARBEAST
 REINFORCED FLAK ARMOR
 DIRE AMASEC-
 A MASSIVE ANIMAL CAPABLE OF HAULING
 OTHER CATACHAN FIGHTERS ACCEPT YOU
 NEGATE ALL MORALE OR EMOTION BASED
 A POPULAR FELINID DRUG, IT SENDS ANY
 EASILY THE STRONGEST PROTECTION IN
 CONSUMER CAN SEE THROUGH GARMENTS
 YOU ACROSS EVEN THE HARSHEST TERRAIN
 THE GALAXY AS LONG AS YOU ARE FAITHFUL
 ISSUES WHILE WORN
 INTO THEIR TEAM, A TRUE HONOR
 FEMALE INTO A HEATED TIZZY
 HAIR PULLING
 BODY PAINT
 GENTLE SEX
 LICKING
 FRESH PAIR OF SOCKS
 ANCIENT ORDINATUS MAP-
 A MAP LEADING TO A WAR ENDING DEVICE
 JACKHAMMERING
 DNA SPLICER
 TAKING ORDERS
 EXO-ARMOUR BELT
 SUB BECOMES STUCK TO THE DOM'S
 GENITALS
 KORPS CLONE VATS
 M35 M-GALAXY SHORT PATTERN LASGUN
 OUTDOOR SEX
 FACE TOUCHING
 CHOKING
 DRUNKEN SEX
 COWGIRL
 EAR RUBS
 PRONE POSITION
 IMMENSELY POWERFUL AND ACCURATE
 CREATE YOUR OWN PERSONAL ARMY OF
 KRIEGERS
 AN ANCIENT RELIC USED TO CREATE
 YOU ARE GOING TO NEED THESE, AND SHE
 SHAVING
 CAT CALLING
 BOSSY PARTNERS
 PILLOW TALK
 COWARDICE
 BROUGHT A SPARE FOR YOU
 SOMEWHERE IN THE EXPANSIVE DESERT
 HALF ANIMAL ABHUMANS
 FEARFUL TO FOES OF THE IMPERIUM
 "A VETERAN OF HELLISH COMBAT CONDITIONS, SHE SEEMS TO COMPLETELY LACK AN OFF
 SWITCH, BUT VERY MUCH ENJOYS HAVING YOU AS A HUNTING BUDDY NONETHELESS.
 "FAMED FOR HER SKILLS ON HORSEBACK, SHE ONLY FEELS FREE WITH THE WIND
 BLOWING ACROSS HER FACE."
 "A NAMELESS SOLDIER, ONLY IDENTIFIED BY HER RED NECKERCHIEF. SHES QUIET, BUT
 YOU WOULDNT WANT ANYONE ELSE IN THAT FOX HOLE BESIDE YOU.
 "HER HOMEWORLD WAS DEVOURED BY TYRANIDS, AND HER ENTIRE RACE WAS
 SPLINTERED THROUGHOUT THE GALAXY. SHE DESIRES TO UNIFY HER PEOPLE.
 "A MEMBER OF THE RARE FELINE ABHUMANS, SHE HOPES TO PROVE HER PEOPLE ARE
 MORE THEN JUST EXOTIC NOVELTIES.
 "HER HOME RECENTLY DESTROYED, SHE LIVES AMONGST THE STARS IN A GIANT
 VESSEL, TASKED WITH PROTECTING ALL OF HUMANITY THROUGHOUT THE GALAXY."
 10
 15
 16
 10
 TAU EMPIRE
 TRAVELING WARSPHERES
 HIVE FLEET BEHEMOTH
 OLD ONE EYE
 EVIL SUNZ
 THE OUTER REACH
 PLANET VESPID
 FIRE WARRIOR
 CADRE COMMANDÉR
 KROOT SHAPER
 VESPID STINGWING
 TAU AUXILIARY TROOPER
 GENESTEALER
 ORK WARBOSS
 WHITE FANG OILGUZZLER
 KINDRED MERCENARY
 STONEFIST CARNIFEX
 CORPORAPTOR HOMINIS
 +LEADS HER OWN WAAAGH
 +HYPER ADAPTIVE BODY
 +A CAREFREE AIRHEAD
 +A WALKING DERVISH OF BLADES
 +TRIES HER BEST TO BE A GOOD MATE
 +SMELLS LIKE BLUEBERRIES
 +CAN WORK ALONGSIDE ANY RACE
 +A GREAT CHEF
 TIMID FOR A CARNIFEX
 +LIKES TO PLAY CHASE
 +ONCE PUNCHED A SPACE BUG TO DEFF
 +GOOD WITH DIPLOMANCY
 +GREAT FLYER AND SCOUT
 +0DDLY CUDDLY
 +LOVES TO BE PHYSICAL
 +DA MOST BIGGEST GAL OF HER TRIBE
 +EAGER TO GAIN YOU AS AN ALLY
 +HAPPY TO CARRY YOU AROUND
 JUST DONT ASK ABOUT THE INGREDIENTS
 LACKS DEPTH PERCEPTION
 CRIES WHEN SHE IS ALONE
 THAT HAIR IS JUST A WEAVE
 -PREACHES SPACE COMMUNISM NON-STOP
 -MOSTLY SPEAKS IN SHRIEKS
 DARK SENSE OF HUMOR
 COMPLETE AND UTTER WEEB
 ACCIDENTALLY BREAKS THINGS IN HER WAY
 HER TEARS ARE ACID
 SHE WILL KRUMP YOUR PELVIS BOY
 -HAS REALLY ROUGH SKIN
 HOUND HORN
 MOLTED CARAPACE
 CHITIN CHUNK
 ADRENAL GLANDS
 MV52 SHIELD DRONE-
 WAAAAAAAAAAGH STICK
 CALL UPON A MASSIVE KROOT HOUND PACK
 TO DEVOUR YOUR ENEMIES
 BECOME UNABLE TO RUN OUT OF ENERGY
 DENSE AND THICK, THIS NATURAL ARMOR
 APROTOTYPE SHIELD DRONE THAT HAS A
 WHEN GROUND INTO A HOT BEVERAGE IT
 9
 GAIN AN UTTERLY MASSIVE ORK WARBAND
 CAN BE USED AS AN AMAZING SHIELD
 FOR A PROLONGED PERIOD
 SURPRISINGLY ACTIVE PERSONALITY
 BECOMES A POWERFUL APHRODISIAC
 AS WELL AS THIS ODDLY PHALLIC POLE
 LOVERS FEAST
 PHEROMONE TUBE
 THIS TUBE EMITS A SOFT FRAGRANT SCENT
 TOXIC SACS
 WAIFU WALL POSTER
 COMMUNION HELM-
 ADAPTING SPORES-
 AN OVER THE TOP PAINTING OF O'SHASERRA
 ALLOWS THE KROOT TO ADAPT MORE
 WHEN INJECTED ALL BODILY SENSES ARE
 WHEN WORN YOU ARE CAPABLE OF
 GAIN THE ABILITY TO MATE WITH ALL
 AMPLIFIED IMMENSELY FOR A SHORT TIME
 ABUNDANT FEATURES FOR HUMAN LOVERS
 THAT LURES WOMEN TO YOU
 THAT YOU CAN'T HELP BUT ADMIRE
 TALKING TO ANY RACE VIA TELEPATHY
 RACES OR EVEN INANIMATE OBJECTS
 BACKRUBS
 IMPREGNATION
 GOOD GENES
 WEAK MATES
 CLAW-PLAY
 ESKIMO KISSES
 KROOT GLANDS
 GIVES YOU THE ABILITY TO ADAPT BASED
 SLAVE-PLAY
 DOMINANCE
 RIPPER SWARMS
 MEGA CHOPPA
 DA SHINIEST SET OF WHEELS THIS SIDE OF
 DA GALAXY, AROUSES ALL DA ORK LADIES
 MESOPLARUM ARMOR-
 YMGARL MUTATION SEED-
 XV22 STEALTHSUIT
 PHEROMONES
 QUICKIES
 CUM ON WINGS
 VORE
 SMALL BOYZ
 CUMSHOTS
 A FRANTIC PACK OF TYRANID RIPPERS
 LIKES AND DISLIKES BECOME THAT OF
 A EXPERIMENTAL BATTLESUIT THAT USES
 RESIST ALL ENERGY BASED WEAPONS
 FOODPLAY
 WASTING FLUIDS
 CUDDLING
 ROUGH SEX
 ON WHAT YOU EAT SIMILAR TO THE KROOT
 ANOTHER PERSONS
 THAT WILL DO YOUR BIDDING
 CLOAKING TECHNOLOGY TO GO INVISIBLE
 WHEN WORN
 "LEADER TO HER OWN WARBAND, SHE AND HER WARRIORS SEEK TO BECOME THE
 PERFECT MATES FOR THEIR LOVERS THROUGH USE OF THEIR ADAPTIVE TRAITS.
 "FLOATING ALONE IN A SPACE HULK FOR WHO KNOWS HOW LONG, SHE DESIRES A MATE
 AND PURPOSE, WILL YOU HELP HER?"
 "AN ORK WHO GAINED HER TITLE THROUGH KRUMPING SKULLS. SHE WILL NOT
 ACCEPT THAT ANYONE COULD FEASIBLY BE STRONGER THAN HER. DARE YOU TRY?
 "A YOUNG FIRE SQUAD LEADER, THE PROSPECT OF GAINING YOU AS AN ALLY HAS
 HER OVERTLY EXCITED.
 "AFTER LEADING SEVERAL SUCCESSFUL MISSIONS, SHE WAS ALLOWED TO WORK
 ON HER OWN. SHE HAS DECIDED TO JOIN A NEW FORCE AND SEE WHAT THEY OFFER."
 "ABANDONED ON AN ICEWORLD, LONG LOST TO HER HIVE, SHE DUG HERSELF FREE
 FROM AN ICY PRISON. NOW SHE IS HUNGRY AND DETERMINED TO FIND A NEW HOME.
 30
 10
 11
 THE DARK CITY COMMORRAGH
 KABALITE WARRIOR
 16
 TOMBWORLD PAVONIS
 SAUTEKH DYNASTY
 ULTHWE CRAFTWORLD
 TALDEER
 THE OUTER REACH
 BIEL-TAN CRAFTWORLD
 THE NIGHT BRINGER
 CTAN SHARD
 SHADOWSEER
 NECRON WARRIOR
 МАCНA
 TOMB WORLD GUARDIAN
 HARLEQUIN MASQUE PLAYER
 SYBARITE OF THE BLACK HEART
 ELDAR FARSEER
 ELDAR FARSEER
 +A SUCKER FOR ATTENTION
 +INCREDIBLE ENDURANCE
 MOTHER WARNED YOU ABOUT GIRLS LIKE HER
 +INTO REAL KINKY SHIT
 +WRITES PASSIONATE LUSTY TALES FOR YOU
 +FLEXIBLE AS A RUBBER BAND
 +WIELDS POWERFUL PSYCHIC ABILITIES
 +IMMORTALITY IS PRETTY GREAT
 +FORGIVES YOU FOR ANY MISTAKE YOU MAKE
 +LIKES TO STICK HER NECK OUT FOR YOU
 +CAN PLAY THE ROLE OF JUST ABOUT ANYONE
 +A BEACON OF HOPE FOR HER PEOPLE
 +A TOTAL FLIRT
 +A LITERAL GOD-BEING
 +CUTE UNDER THAT MASK
 +HAPPY TO INDULGE YOU
 +ETERNALLY YOUNG AND SUPPLE
 +CLAIMS OF MANY SEXUAL EXPLOITS
 -DOES NOT UNDERSTAND THE WORD NO
 -THE WAY SHE HEALS IS A BIT CREEPY
 -IS NEVER GOING TO TAKE IT OFF
 -IS ACTUALLY A VIRGIN
 WITHERS AWAY IF SHES NOT HURTING THINGS
 -LIKES TO NAG YOU
 -NOT WHAT SHE USED TO BE
 -LIKES TO TAKE LONG NAPS
 -ALWAYS IN CHARACTER
 -YOU MAKE A DELIGHTFUL PINCUSHION
 ARROGANCE YOU CAN ONLY ADMIRE
 INSUFFERABLY SO
 ENTROPIC SCYTHE
 MIST STAVE
 A WEAPON THAT CHANNELS MENTAL FORCE
 TO CRUSH ARMOR AND BONES
 METAL BAND-AID
 SOUL STONE
 IF YOU PERISH WHILST WEARING THIS GEM
 GHOSTHELM
 SHADOW FIELD
 AT THE COST OF A LIFE YOU CAN REVIVE
 MAGNETIC AND FLEXIBLE, THIS ITEM FIXES
 CONCEALS YOUR MENTAL PRESENCE
 GAIN A PROTECTIVE BARRIER OF SHADOW
 ANOTHER PERSON.
 ANYTHING DAMAGED UNDERNEATH IT
 YOUR SOUL WILL BE RETAINED INSIDE IT
 FROM THE WARP
 AND MIST
 EVERFLOWING COWL
 CONCEALS THE FACIAL DETAILS OF ANYONE
 DOG-EARRED PLAY SCRIPT
 TWITCHY SCARAB
 VIBROBLADE
 CLEAVES THROUGH THE TOUGHEST ARMOR
 COMBAT DRUGS
 MACHA'S VIBROSWORD
 A CURIOUS SCARAB PET, IT SEEMS TO BE
 A HANDFULL OF STRANGE PILLS THAT HELP
 GAIN THE ABILITY TO UNDERSTAND
 SLIGHTLY USED, TALDEER DOESN'T LIKE
 HOLDING IT, BUT MAYBE YOU WILL
 WHO WEARS THIS
 BROKEN AND HUMS CONSTANTLY
 INTERPRETIVE DANCE FROM ANY RACE
 AMPLIFY PHYSICAL CAPABILITIES
 VIBRATING TENDERLY ALL THE WHILE
 EATING
 NECRODERMIS
 HEAD-PATS
 VOYEURISM
 GAUSS GUN
 PAIN PLAY
 THE PANACEA
 EDGING
 ACTUAL SEX
 EMBARASSMENT
 SWEET TALK
 FLIP BELT-
 STAFF OF ULTHAMAR
 RUNE ARMOUR
 RAPE-PLAY
 HAVE YOUR FLESH REPLACED WITH A
 CLANG-CLANG
 ROLEPLAY
 LATEX
 POWERFUL RIFLE THAT BREAKS DOWN
 WHILE WORN, YOU HAVE CONTROL OVER
 KISSING
 A POWERFUL PSYCHIC WEAPON, WILL HELP
 YOU GARNER RESPECT, EVEN WITH ELDAR
 A CURE FOR ALL KNOWN EARTHLY
 ELEGANT WRAITHBONE ARMOUR THAT
 ENSLAVEMENT
 MORNING SEX
 LIVING METAL THAT REPAIRS ITSELF
 CRITICS
 SLUTS
 ANYTHING IT HITS AT THE ATOMIC LEVEL
 GENTLE SEX
 YOUR OWN GRAVITY
 DISEASES
 DEFENDS YOU FROM PSYCHIC ATTACKS
 "A ONCE POWERFUL BEING THAT HUNGERS FOR ALL, SHE IS PLEASED WITH YOU FOR
 FREEING HER FROM HER BINDS, THOUGH YOU'RE UNCERTAIN IF IT WAS A GOOD IDEA."
 "ASLEEP FOR EONS, THIS WARRIOR HAS FINALLY AWOKEN. SHE IS EXCITED TO
 SEEWHAT SHE HASMISSED AND IS EAGER TO EXPLORE THE GALAXY AGAIN.
 "A SOLO TROUPE HARLEQUIN THAT TREATS YOU LIKE ANOTHER ACTOR IN HER OWN
 PERSONAL PLAY, THOUGH YOUR PART SEEMS TO BE THAT OF HER BELOVED.
 "LEFT ALONE ON A HELLISH WORLD BY HER COMPATRIOTS, SHE THOUGHT HER LIFE
 FORFEIT TILL YOU SAVED HER. NOW SHE'S BECOME QUITE ATTACHED TO YOU."
 "A DAUGHTER OF THE GREAT ELDRAD, EVER PLOTTING, EVEN AMONGST HER
 OWN PEOPLE, RARELY DO THEY KNOW HER OWN MACHINATIONS.
 "A DAUGHTER OF THE GREAT ELDRAD, SHE IS ONE OF THE MOST TALENTED FARSEERS
 BIEL-TAN, HO EVER HER DESPERATION FOR LOVE HINDERS HER FOCUS
 40
 11
 11
 11
 11
 CULT OF CHAOS UNDIVIDED
 CHAOS CULTIST
 CHILD OF CHAOS
 REALM OF DEATH AND DECA
 NURGLE
 GRANDMA NURGLE
 ABANDONED WARPSPACE
 GREAT SKULL THRONE
 KHORNE
 LADY OF RAGE
 KINGDOM OF PLEASURE
 SLAANESH
 SHE WHO THIRSTS
 THE CRYSTAL LABYRINTH
 MALAL
 TZEENTCH
 FORGOTTEN CHAOS GODDESS
 CHANGER OF WAYS
 THE "BELOVED" DAUGHTER OF CHAOS GODS
 +SEEKS TO RUIN THE OTHER CHAOS GODS
 +GOD OF SEX, DRUGS, AND ROCK-N-ROLL
 +MAKES A MEAN SOUP
 LOVES PLAYING GAMES WITH YOU
 GODDESS OF BLOOD, WAR, AND MURDER
 INCREDIBLY OPTIMISTIC
 RARELY WORRIES ABOUT THINGS
 +DOESN'T ASK MUCH OF YOU
 +CURVACEOUS IN ALL THE RIGHT PLACES
 INTO DOING EVERYTHING WITH YOU
 +WILL ALWAYS BE DIRECT WITH YOU
 A GREAT TEACHER
 +IMMORTAL VIA A POWERFUL NURGLE BLESSING
 HOTTEST THING IN EXISTENCE
 +/-SWITCHES FROM SUB TO DOM IN A SNAP
 +SURPRISINGLY EASY TO PLEASE
 +ALWAYS HAS A PLAN B
 SPAEKS IN HWA TUNGE OO KHAY-OS
 -INCREDIBLY RESTLESS
 -PLANS MAKE NO SENSE
 -PRANKSTER AT HEART
 BEING WITH HER OUSTS YOU FROM OTHERS
 -THAT ISN'T FAT
 -ALSO INTO SOME REALLY FREAKY STUFF
 NOT THE SHARPEST KNIFE IN THE DRAWER
 WHAT IS DOWN THERE?!
 A REAL BAD INFLUENCE
 -SPEAKS ONLY BY YELLING
 -GROSS ON A WHOLE NEW LEVEL
 DISC OF TZEENTCH-
 FORSAKEN AXE-
 HORN OF NURGLE
 THE CRIMSON SKULL CROWN
 BLADE OF THE LAER
 A RATHER PRETTY LOOKING SKULL
 A POSSESSED WEAPON INFUSED WITH
 PLAYING THIS HORN SUMMONS THE DEAD
 GAIN A DEMONIC ENTITY THAT CAN SOAR
 GAIN A RATHER UNHAPPY CHAMPION OF
 KHORNES FAVORITE SKULL, IF YOU HOLD IT
 SHE WILL LISTEN TO YOUR REQUESTS
 MARK OF KHORNE-
 WHEN SLAIN YOUR KILLER WILL SLOWLY
 DAEMONIC ENERGY THAT HEWS ANYTHING
 TO RISE AND FOLLOW YOUR ORDERS
 THE ETHERIC LEYLINES AS A MOUNT
 YOUR CHOOSING
 BLOOD OF SLAANESH
 TURN INTO YOU
 MARK OF NURGLE-
 MONOCHROME MASK
 MARK OF TZEENTCH-
 MARK OF SLAANESH
 GIVES YOU THE POWERS OF A DAEMON AND
 THE CULTIST ASCENDS TO PRINCEHOOD
 BECOME A MASTER OF ANY WEAPON YOU10
 YOU ARE PROTECTED FROM WORLDY HARM
 ENDURE THE MOST GRIEVIOUS WOUNDS
 BECOME A MASTER OF THE SEXUAL ARTS10
 MAKING YOU HER CHAMPION
 A TWISTED POWERFUL BODY TO MATCH
 WIELD IN YOUR HANDS
 AND PAINFUL STRIKES
 VIA AN INVISIBLE SHIELD
 oRe THE ENDLESS GRIMOIRE OF TZEENTCH
 GAIN A SINGLE FAVOR FROM A CHAOS GOD
 LOVE BITES
 TEASING
 EROTIC LIT
 INDIFFERENCE
 SURPRISES
 BLOOD-PLAY
 GORECHILD
 MANREAPER
 EVERYTHING
 SLOPPY KISSES
 DOOM GUITAR-
 THE BLACK BOOK
 THE BLACK STAFF
 RITUAL MATING
 CREATIVITY
 PRUDES
 WORSHIP
 PASSIONATE SEX
 BELLY RUBS
 A CORRUPT STAFF OF VAST POWER WHICH
 AMPLIFIES THE NOTES YOU STRUM TO
 A STRANGE BOOK THAT GIVES YOU DARK
 A BLESSED CHAINAXE THAT BECOMES
 COATED WITH VIRULENT DISEASES AND
 NEGLECT
 PLANNED SEX
 OF YOUR CHOOSING
 BOTTOMING
 BATHS
 THE POINT OF EXPLOSIVE SONIC ENERGY.
 KNOWLEDGE OF THE UNIVERSE
 FILTH THAT ROTS FLESH TO THE TOUCH
 MORE POWERFUL THE MORE YOU KILL
 GIVES ITS USER DEFT PSYCHIC ABILITIES
 "THE APPARENT DAUGHTER OF CHAOS, IT'S SAID SHE IS DESTINED FOR GREATNESS,
 ALTHOUGH SHE HAS YET TO SEEM SO GREAT."
 "BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GODDESS! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!
 "WAIT ARE YOU SERIOUS? YOU THINK YOU CAN TAKE THE PRINCE OF PLEASURE?!
 WELL A CHALLENGE IS ALWAYS WELCOME, AND HE THINKS YOU ARE QUITE CUTE.
 "OF ALL THE GODS, SHE HOLDS THE CRUELEST SENSE OF HUMOR. HER LOVE OF
 RIDDLES, WORD PLAY, AND DRY WIT, TORMENTING OTHERS TO INSANITY.
 "WANDERING A LIFELESS VOID IN THE WARP, THIS UNREMEMBERED GODDESS SEEKS
 TO FOIL HER SISTERS PLANS, NOT FOR REVENGE, BUT JUST BECAUSE IT CAN BE DONE."
 ELDEST OF THE CHAOS GODS, SHE'S FAIRLY LAZY IN HER ROLE, BUT STILL QUITE
 POWERFUL WHEN SHE DECIDES TO ACT."
 CHAOS
 ELDER XENOS
 MILITARUM
 ADMINISTRATUM
 THE EMPRESS
 SONENS
Behold!

Behold!

Chill, Fake, and Fire: WTWK - CHILL FOR KILL/VOTE MAP FAVORITE ZAVOD 311 -DOMINATION BF4 PC View full Server Browser PLAYERS PING PRESET TYPE TICK RATE EXPERIENCE 27/30 25 ms Custom Ranked 60 Hz SPECTATORS 0/2 JOIN SERVER SPECTATOR MAP ROTATION Golmud Ralway Paracel Storm Operation Locker Halnan Resort Zavod 311 Flood Zone Domination Domination Domination Domination Domination Domination SERVER DETAILS WELCOME TO WTWK SERVER | Protected by BF4DB/FAIRFIGHT/PUNKBUSTER/PB_SS/GGC-Streaming REGION Europe-Germany TEAM BALANCE On HIT INDICATOR KICK IDLE PLAYER AFTER SECONDS On PUNKBUSTER ALLOW PUBLIC SPECTATORSS 2 600 On USE 3D SPOTTING On # OF TK BEFORE PLAYER IS KICKED FAIRFIGHT ONLY SQUAD LEADER SPAWN от SHOW HUD PASSWORD oT PLAYER RESPAWN TIME IN % 100 SHOW MINIMAP TEAM TICKET COUNT % 100 SKILL BASED AUTOBALANCER VEHICLES On REGENERATIVE HEALTH On KILL CAM Off PLAYER HEALTH IN % GUN MASTER WEAPONS PRESET 0 VEHICLE RESPAWN DELAY % 100 SHOW ENEMY NAME TAGS On RELOAD FULL MAGS от FRENDLY FIRE 3P VEHICLE CAM # OF PLAYERS TO START ROUND от On BAN PLAYER AFTER # OF KICKS 3 MAX PLAYERS 32 TICKET ELEED RATE 100 LIVE SCOREBOARD ZAVOD 311- DOMINATION: 300 - ROUND TIME: 00:00:0O RU-300 US-300 К SCORE к п SCORE Total 0 1 0 KlBBBear п Tatal п O O C Getting really tired of 'fake servers' in Battlelog / in-game server browser. They report a full or almost-full amount of players when in fact it's empty or only one player (see screenshot).
Chill, Fake, and Fire: WTWK - CHILL FOR KILL/VOTE MAP
 FAVORITE
 ZAVOD 311 -DOMINATION
 BF4 PC
 View full Server Browser
 PLAYERS
 PING
 PRESET
 TYPE
 TICK RATE
 EXPERIENCE
 27/30
 25 ms
 Custom
 Ranked
 60 Hz
 SPECTATORS
 0/2
 JOIN SERVER
 SPECTATOR
 MAP ROTATION
 Golmud Ralway
 Paracel Storm
 Operation Locker
 Halnan Resort
 Zavod 311
 Flood Zone
 Domination
 Domination
 Domination
 Domination
 Domination
 Domination
 SERVER DETAILS
 WELCOME TO WTWK SERVER | Protected by BF4DB/FAIRFIGHT/PUNKBUSTER/PB_SS/GGC-Streaming
 REGION
 Europe-Germany
 TEAM BALANCE
 On
 HIT INDICATOR
 KICK IDLE PLAYER AFTER SECONDS
 On
 PUNKBUSTER
 ALLOW PUBLIC SPECTATORSS
 2
 600
 On
 USE 3D SPOTTING
 On
 # OF TK BEFORE PLAYER IS KICKED
 FAIRFIGHT
 ONLY SQUAD LEADER SPAWN
 от
 SHOW HUD
 PASSWORD
 oT
 PLAYER RESPAWN TIME IN %
 100
 SHOW MINIMAP
 TEAM TICKET COUNT %
 100
 SKILL BASED AUTOBALANCER
 VEHICLES
 On
 REGENERATIVE HEALTH
 On
 KILL CAM
 Off
 PLAYER HEALTH IN %
 GUN MASTER WEAPONS PRESET
 0
 VEHICLE RESPAWN DELAY %
 100
 SHOW ENEMY NAME TAGS
 On
 RELOAD FULL MAGS
 от
 FRENDLY FIRE
 3P VEHICLE CAM
 # OF PLAYERS TO START ROUND
 от
 On
 BAN PLAYER AFTER # OF KICKS
 3
 MAX PLAYERS
 32
 TICKET ELEED RATE
 100
 LIVE SCOREBOARD
 ZAVOD 311- DOMINATION: 300 - ROUND TIME: 00:00:0O
 RU-300
 US-300
 К
 SCORE
 к
 п
 SCORE
 Total
 0
 1
 0 KlBBBear
 п
 Tatal
 п
 O O
 C
Getting really tired of 'fake servers' in Battlelog / in-game server browser. They report a full or almost-full amount of players when in fact it's empty or only one player (see screenshot).

Getting really tired of 'fake servers' in Battlelog / in-game server browser. They report a full or almost-full amount of players when in fa...

Countdown, Fire, and Gg: GUILIN PEAKS CONQUEST LARGE 2 BF4 PC View full Server Browsen PLAYERS PING PRESET TYPE TICK RATE EXPERIENCE 61/64 Normal Ranked a191 ms 30 Hz SPECTATORS 0/1 JOIN SERVER SPECTATOR BATTLEFIELD4 BATTLELOG CattowithBatto PREMIUM STORE FORUMS NEWS PREMIUM SOLDIER MULTIPLAYER CAMPAIGN PLATOONS LEADERBOARDS PC Operation Metro 2014 Conquest Large Siege Of Shanghai Conquest Large Operation Locker Conquest Large Caspian Border 2014 Conquest Large Propaganda Conquest Large Golmud Railway Conquest Large SERVER DETAILS http:s://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDSgmQkOk5k [youtube.com] - https://discord.gg/SMsYpuv [discord.gg] - https://vk.com /clubkent_ru [vk.com] - http://clubkent.ru/igrovoj-klubľo-klube [clubkent.ru] - PRAVILA - Irules Europe Russia REGION LOCKDOWN COUNTDOWN 15 TIME LIMIT 300 On USE 3D SPOTTING PUNKBUSTER On # OF TK BEFORE PLAYER IS KICKED 5 On ONLY SQUAD LEADER SPAWN Off SHOW HUD On FAIRFIGHT AIM ASSIST AUTO ROTATION Off SHOW MINIMAP On PASSWORD Off % OF PLAYERS REQUIRED IN READY STATE 33 REGENERATIVE HEALTH On TEAM TICKET COUNT % 190 PLAYER RESPAWN TIME IN % 100 ALLOW COMMANDERS Off GUN MASTER WEAPONS PRESET 0 #OF PLAYERS TO START ROUND BULLET DAMAGE MODIFIER IN % 100 NEW PLAYERS SERVER Off OBLITERATION COMPETITIVE Off PLAYER HEALTH IN % 100 RELOAD FULL MAGS Off VEHICLES On FRIENDLY FIRE Off 3P VEHICLE CAM On VEHICLE RESPAWN DELAY % 59 AIM ASSIST SLOWDOWN Off SHOW ENEMY NAME TAGS On KILL CAM MAX PLAYERS On 64 TICKET BLEED RATE 100 READY SCREEN TIMEOUT KICK IDLE ENABLE PERCENTAGE 22 180 TEAM BALANCE On BAN PLAYER AFTER # OF KICKS SKILL BASED AUTOBALANCER On ALLOW PUBLIC SPECTATORS 1 HIT INDICATOR On # OF PLAYERS REQUIRED IN READY STATE KICK IDLE PLAYER AFTER SECONDS 300 USE MINIMAP SPOTTING On LIVE SCOREBOARD GUILIN PEAKS - CONQUEST LARGE: 1520 - ROUND TIME: 00:15:38 US-1518 K CN 1520 SCORE K SCORE Total Total 0 TECHNOLOGY HARDWARE DARTNER NORTH AMERTOA A DRODUCTION FROM YFROSTRITE Battlelog shows some servers are full of people but half of them are just empty servers?
Countdown, Fire, and Gg: GUILIN PEAKS CONQUEST LARGE
 2
 BF4 PC
 View full Server Browsen
 PLAYERS
 PING
 PRESET
 TYPE
 TICK RATE
 EXPERIENCE
 61/64
 Normal
 Ranked
 a191 ms
 30 Hz
 SPECTATORS
 0/1
 JOIN SERVER
 SPECTATOR
 BATTLEFIELD4
 BATTLELOG
 CattowithBatto
 PREMIUM
 STORE FORUMS NEWS PREMIUM
 SOLDIER
 MULTIPLAYER
 CAMPAIGN
 PLATOONS
 LEADERBOARDS
 PC
 Operation Metro 2014
 Conquest Large
 Siege Of Shanghai
 Conquest Large
 Operation Locker
 Conquest Large
 Caspian Border 2014
 Conquest Large
 Propaganda
 Conquest Large
 Golmud Railway
 Conquest Large
 SERVER DETAILS
 http:s://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDSgmQkOk5k [youtube.com] - https://discord.gg/SMsYpuv [discord.gg] - https://vk.com
 /clubkent_ru [vk.com] - http://clubkent.ru/igrovoj-klubľo-klube [clubkent.ru] - PRAVILA - Irules
 Europe Russia
 REGION
 LOCKDOWN COUNTDOWN
 15
 TIME LIMIT
 300
 On
 USE 3D SPOTTING
 PUNKBUSTER
 On
 # OF TK BEFORE PLAYER IS KICKED
 5
 On
 ONLY SQUAD LEADER SPAWN
 Off
 SHOW HUD
 On
 FAIRFIGHT
 AIM ASSIST AUTO ROTATION
 Off
 SHOW MINIMAP
 On
 PASSWORD
 Off
 % OF PLAYERS REQUIRED IN READY STATE
 33
 REGENERATIVE HEALTH
 On
 TEAM TICKET COUNT %
 190
 PLAYER RESPAWN TIME IN %
 100
 ALLOW COMMANDERS
 Off
 GUN MASTER WEAPONS PRESET
 0
 #OF PLAYERS TO START ROUND
 BULLET DAMAGE MODIFIER IN %
 100
 NEW PLAYERS SERVER
 Off
 OBLITERATION COMPETITIVE
 Off
 PLAYER HEALTH IN %
 100
 RELOAD FULL MAGS
 Off
 VEHICLES
 On
 FRIENDLY FIRE
 Off
 3P VEHICLE CAM
 On
 VEHICLE RESPAWN DELAY %
 59
 AIM ASSIST SLOWDOWN
 Off
 SHOW ENEMY NAME TAGS
 On
 KILL CAM
 MAX PLAYERS
 On
 64
 TICKET BLEED RATE
 100
 READY SCREEN TIMEOUT
 KICK IDLE ENABLE PERCENTAGE
 22
 180
 TEAM BALANCE
 On
 BAN PLAYER AFTER # OF KICKS
 SKILL BASED AUTOBALANCER
 On
 ALLOW PUBLIC SPECTATORS
 1
 HIT INDICATOR
 On
 # OF PLAYERS REQUIRED IN READY STATE
 KICK IDLE PLAYER AFTER SECONDS
 300
 USE MINIMAP SPOTTING
 On
 LIVE SCOREBOARD
 GUILIN PEAKS - CONQUEST LARGE: 1520 - ROUND TIME: 00:15:38
 US-1518
 K
 CN 1520
 SCORE
 K
 SCORE
 Total
 Total
 0
 TECHNOLOGY
 HARDWARE DARTNER
 NORTH AMERTOA
 A DRODUCTION FROM
 YFROSTRITE
Battlelog shows some servers are full of people but half of them are just empty servers?

Battlelog shows some servers are full of people but half of them are just empty servers?

Fucking, Shit, and Squad: That thing needs to be fucking contained Last known photo of Mobile Task Force unit Uniform-11 Squad leader after seeing some shit during the containments breach (21st of April 2012)
Fucking, Shit, and Squad: That thing needs to
 be fucking contained
Last known photo of Mobile Task Force unit Uniform-11 Squad leader after seeing some shit during the containments breach (21st of April 2012)

Last known photo of Mobile Task Force unit Uniform-11 Squad leader after seeing some shit during the containments breach (21st of April 2012...

4chan, Click, and Creepy: Anonymous 02/23/13(Sat)02:51 No.14961651 Replies: >1496178414961857 Anonymous 02/23/13(Sat)02:49 No.14961627 Replies:14961632 I have a short one that is relevant to a lot of the stories which are going around. This is copypasted from the other thread but I'm finishing it here >>14961640 4/? >be butterbar platoon leader for cav platoon be at National Training Center at Fort Benning >be innawoods for Fire Training Exercise (FTX) >the FTX is about four days long and involves a lot of land nav shit, patrol bases, etc. so far has been pretty boring >at about 1800 on third day get a call from the company commander over the radio >he's pulling the platoon leaders in to talk to us >show up at Company TOC (basically CO's truck, a camp stove, and pallets of MRES) >wait forever for Company Commander to show up finally shows up at quarter to nine and tells me and the rest of the platoon leaders that there's been reports of a really big, aggressive bear that's been following groups around at the NTC >if it shows up fire shots to scare it off, don't bury your trash, etc >l don't think much of it at the time just think we got all our time wasted for no reason sends us off to head back to our PLTS on our own much later >talk to the Platoon Sergeant and RTO, make sure they're okay, and go to sleep for a bit woken up by another hail of blank fire figure this time we're getting probed by opfor, grab rifle and run to the side of the PB where the fire came from >i get there, almost no one moving or talking, ask wtf is going on >team leader says he saw someone a little bit down the hill they were watching so he issued challenge guy calls back "it's fucking lieutenant anon" while he's walking toward the PB >team leader asks what the hell i'm doing out there voice calls back "it's fucking lieutenant anon" team leader wtfs >team leader says something way taller than a normal man comes out of the brush, he tactically shits his pants and just starts lighting it up >again guy is gone when he can see clearly again where it was >think this is kinda fucked up for opfor to be playing head games with us like this >I go back to the center of the PB and try to get to sleep again Anonymous 02/23/13(Sat)02:50 No.14961632 Replies:14961640 14961627 2/? Anonymous 02/23/13(Sat)03:01 No.14961784 Replies: 14961933 File: 1361606471784.jpg-(9 KB, 120x120, 1354312752523.jpg) >cloudy so it's pretty much pitch dark out, kind of creepy naving back by myself but I'm in full warrior mode so I do it without thinking >opfor patrolling so I leave my flashlight off >following trail back to rendezvous point with my platoon where they were supposed to have set up a patrol base >see headlights off in the distance on the trail, get off the trail and hide watch the hummvee pass by, looks just like range control or something see its lights fall on something huge across the road for an instant before the hummvee rolls on >tactically shit pants for a second, sit in utter silence for a few minutes thinking it might be a bear nothing, no movement after a while I realize I'm probably just being a tard and get back on the trail to keep going nothing more out of the ordinary happens, get to around the point where the PB should be and notice a chain of chemlights heading off into the woods as well as >head into woods, following chemlight chain 14961651 5/? (sorry this part took so long, the other four were from the old thread) this time I sleep for maybe 15 minutes before I'm woken up by for real opfor, big gun battle going on >jump to my feet actually happy shit's hitting the fan for real conduct a react to contact, drive opfor off, lanewalker starts popping arty sims >SLs/PSG/RTO start executing according to our plan we set up to move PBs we move about a click and set up the ORP, then move into the new PB walking around checking positions and making sure SLs are accounting for people good accountability with 3 SLs, go to talk to the last one >last SL comes up to me just shitting brix >I ask if he's missing anyone or any gear >he says he counted twice and each time counted an extra person, when he went back to ask if the guy was in the wrong squad he wasn't there anymore parked hummvee Anonymous 02/23/13(Sat)02:50 No.14961640 Replies: >1496165114961857 wut >14961632 3/? >pull SLs in, ask them if they were missing anyone or had anyone extra >nothing wrong with anyone else >figure it's just a screw up with accountability >after an hour it's okay to return to normal sleep rotations make plans with platoon sergeant/SLs Lgo to sleep >get to the end of the chemlight chain >someone calls out the challenge (when you set up a patrol base, if you see someone you call out a challenge phrase and they answer back with the password, it means they're friendly) >I don't remember what the password was so I just say "it's fucking lieutenant anon" guy just goes eh whatever and lets me by >l get to the center of the Patrol Base and link up with my Platoon Sergeant >about an hour goes by, I feel weirdly tense, can't sleep suddenly shouting from one side of the Patrol Base immediately followed by hail of blank fire as whole squad lights up an area grab my rifle and run over shouting for a status from the squad leader no response yet no one moving or talking run up to one of the sentries and ask what the hell happened >he said he saw someone moving about 10 meters away from their position and called out the challenge >he said they heard someone say "it's fucking lieutenant anon" so they were going to let him through >guy says the thing suddenly got close and he had this feeling something was wrong >sees that this person walking into the base has long hair and ust starts shoo Anonymous 02/23/13(Sat)03:13 No.14961933 >14961784 6/6 woken up about an hour later by SL who's SOG for the time period >he tells me I need to come talk to some guy who's freaking out go over to where the platoon sergeant is, he's with some joe who's freaking out >ask him what the hell happened said he was on the line with team leader who i'd talked to before got up to go out a bit to take a piss mid piss he looks over to his left down a short hill sees someone walking down there mumbles to himself "oh shiiit" whole squad you ve ever shot blanks at night you know it blinds you for a few seconds during and afterward e the guy can see agallh the guy he saw was gone wtf for a bit but say okay and head back to the center of the patrol base shooting person down there fucking cackles (his words) and he nearly pisses all over himself grabbing his rifle >he says it looked like it was made of sticks (his words) and ran like a speed skater (his words again) toward him cackled something like "lieutenant anon" while it ran up the hill m fucking fw quy runs for his life back to the PB and will not go back out on the line, he demands we bring the whole platoon back to the TOC >we eventually talk him down, things quiet down last incident of the night thankfully I talked to the lanewalker about it while no one else was around and he just said he believed the dude and that a lot of weird shit lives in the GA swamps I guess it's kind of a crappy ending but to this day I am not sure what the fuck might have happened. These stories reminded me of it. At the time I thought it was just hallucinations opfor, but now I'm not so sure k/ - Spooky Innawoods Thread - Weapons - 4chan
4chan, Click, and Creepy: Anonymous 02/23/13(Sat)02:51 No.14961651 Replies: >1496178414961857
 Anonymous 02/23/13(Sat)02:49 No.14961627 Replies:14961632
 I have a short one that is relevant to a lot of the stories which are going around. This is copypasted from the other thread but I'm finishing it here
 >>14961640
 4/?
 >be butterbar platoon leader for cav platoon
 be at National Training Center at Fort Benning
 >be innawoods for Fire Training Exercise (FTX)
 >the FTX is about four days long and involves a lot of land nav shit, patrol bases, etc. so far has been pretty boring
 >at about 1800 on third day get a call from the company commander over the radio
 >he's pulling the platoon leaders in to talk to us
 >show up at Company TOC (basically CO's truck, a camp stove, and pallets of MRES)
 >wait forever for Company Commander to show up
 finally shows up at quarter to nine and tells me and the rest of the platoon leaders that there's been reports of a really big, aggressive bear that's been following groups around at the NTC
 >if it shows up fire shots to scare it off, don't bury your trash, etc
 >l don't think much of it at the time just think we got all our time wasted for no reason
 sends us off to head back to our PLTS on our own
 much later
 >talk to the Platoon Sergeant and RTO, make sure they're okay, and go to sleep for a bit
 woken up by another hail of blank fire
 figure this time we're getting probed by opfor, grab rifle and run to the side of the PB where the fire came from
 >i get there, almost no one moving or talking, ask wtf is going on
 >team leader says he saw someone a little bit down the hill they were watching so he issued challenge
 guy calls back "it's fucking lieutenant anon" while he's walking toward the PB
 >team leader asks what the hell i'm doing out there
 voice calls back "it's fucking lieutenant anon"
 team leader wtfs
 >team leader says something way taller than a normal man comes out of the brush, he tactically shits his pants and just starts lighting it up
 >again guy is gone when he can see clearly again where it was
 >think this is kinda fucked up for opfor to be playing head games with us like this
 >I go back to the center of the PB and try to get to sleep again
 Anonymous 02/23/13(Sat)02:50 No.14961632 Replies:14961640
 14961627
 2/?
 Anonymous 02/23/13(Sat)03:01 No.14961784 Replies: 14961933
 File: 1361606471784.jpg-(9 KB, 120x120, 1354312752523.jpg)
 >cloudy so it's pretty much pitch dark out, kind of creepy naving back by myself but I'm in full warrior mode so I do it without thinking
 >opfor patrolling so I leave my flashlight off
 >following trail back to rendezvous point with my platoon where they were supposed to have set up a patrol base
 >see headlights off in the distance on the trail, get off the trail and hide
 watch the hummvee pass by, looks just like range control or something
 see its lights fall on something huge across the road for an instant before the hummvee rolls on
 >tactically shit pants for a second, sit in utter silence for a few minutes thinking it might be a bear
 nothing, no movement
 after a while I realize I'm probably just being a tard and get back on the trail to keep going
 nothing more out of the ordinary happens, get to around the point where the PB should be and notice a chain of chemlights heading off into the woods as well as
 >head into woods, following chemlight chain
 14961651
 5/? (sorry this part took so long, the other four were from the old thread)
 this time I sleep for maybe 15 minutes before I'm woken up by for real opfor, big gun battle going on
 >jump to my feet actually happy shit's hitting the fan for real
 conduct a react to contact, drive opfor off, lanewalker starts popping arty sims
 >SLs/PSG/RTO start executing according to our plan we set up to move PBs
 we move about a click and set up the ORP, then move into the new PB
 walking around checking positions and making sure SLs are accounting for people
 good accountability with 3 SLs, go to talk to the last one
 >last SL comes up to me just shitting brix
 >I ask if he's missing anyone or any gear
 >he says he counted twice and each time counted an extra person, when he went back to ask if the guy was in the wrong squad he wasn't there anymore
 parked hummvee
 Anonymous 02/23/13(Sat)02:50 No.14961640 Replies: >1496165114961857
 wut
 >14961632
 3/?
 >pull SLs in, ask them if they were missing anyone or had anyone extra
 >nothing wrong with anyone else
 >figure it's just a screw up with accountability
 >after an hour it's okay to return to normal sleep rotations
 make plans with platoon sergeant/SLs
 Lgo to sleep
 >get to the end of the chemlight chain
 >someone calls out the challenge (when you set up a patrol base, if you see someone you call out a challenge phrase and they answer back with the password, it means they're friendly)
 >I don't remember what the password was so I just say "it's fucking lieutenant anon"
 guy just goes eh whatever and lets me by
 >l get to the center of the Patrol Base and link up with my Platoon Sergeant
 >about an hour goes by, I feel weirdly tense, can't sleep
 suddenly shouting from one side of the Patrol Base immediately followed by hail of blank fire as whole squad lights up an area
 grab my rifle and run over shouting for a status from the squad leader
 no response yet
 no one moving or talking
 run up to one of the sentries and ask what the hell happened
 >he said he saw someone moving about 10 meters away from their position and called out the challenge
 >he said they heard someone say "it's fucking lieutenant anon" so they were going to let him through
 >guy says the thing suddenly got close and he had this feeling something was wrong
 >sees that this person walking into the base has long hair and ust starts shoo
 Anonymous 02/23/13(Sat)03:13 No.14961933
 >14961784
 6/6
 woken up about an hour later by SL who's SOG for the time period
 >he tells me I need to come talk to some guy who's freaking out
 go over to where the platoon sergeant is, he's with some joe who's freaking out
 >ask him what the hell happened
 said he was on the line with team leader who i'd talked to before
 got up to go out a bit to take a piss
 mid piss he looks over to his left down a short hill
 sees someone walking down there
 mumbles to himself "oh shiiit"
 whole squad
 you ve ever shot blanks at night you know it blinds you for a few seconds during and afterward
 e the guy can see agallh the guy he saw was gone
 wtf for a bit but say okay and head back to the center of the patrol base
 shooting
 person down there fucking cackles (his words) and he nearly pisses all over himself grabbing his rifle
 >he says it looked like it was made of sticks (his words) and ran like a speed skater (his words again) toward him
 cackled something like "lieutenant anon" while it ran up the hill
 m fucking fw
 quy runs for his life back to the PB and will not go back out on the line, he demands we bring the whole platoon back to the TOC
 >we eventually talk him down, things quiet down
 last incident of the night thankfully
 I talked to the lanewalker about it while no one else was around and he just said he believed the dude and that a lot of weird shit lives in the GA swamps
 I guess it's kind of a crappy ending but to this day I am not sure what the fuck might have happened. These stories reminded me of it. At the time I thought it was just hallucinations opfor, but now I'm not so sure
k/ - Spooky Innawoods Thread - Weapons - 4chan

k/ - Spooky Innawoods Thread - Weapons - 4chan