Your
Your

Your

Icecream
Icecream

Icecream

But
But

But

That
That

That

When
When

When

Sarcasmism
Sarcasmism

Sarcasmism

Sarcasm Only
Sarcasm Only

Sarcasm Only

jumps off
 jumps off

jumps off

sparkle
 sparkle

sparkle

maze
 maze

maze

🔥 | Latest

Ass, Bitch, and Fucking: dick-rider-dave-strider: strangelyobsessedwithstuff: vialsofbrightforgettingpowders: ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN SO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH. NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED. PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITH A BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE. NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS POST FOR AGESthanks for the tip karkat reference
Ass, Bitch, and Fucking: dick-rider-dave-strider:

strangelyobsessedwithstuff:

vialsofbrightforgettingpowders:

ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD
THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS

YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN
SO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH.

NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED. PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITH A BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE.
NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING

NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE

GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED

IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS POST FOR AGESthanks for the tip karkat

reference

dick-rider-dave-strider: strangelyobsessedwithstuff: vialsofbrightforgettingpowders: ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT ...

Cars, Fucking, and Run: SheStayFabulous @Shestayfabulous Man old cars really were made to last 1/5 Ayton SZN @ReeceDontTweet ) his car ain't break a sweat becausedragonage: freshest-tittymilk: princealigorna: And this is why we used to make cars out of STEEL instead of FIBERGLASS! Sure, fiberglass is a lot lighter in weight and hence a hell of a lot better for gas mileage. But you hit anything at more than 20 mph and the entire body explodes off the fucking thing, and now you’re spending more to repair the car than it’s worth because you need a entire front end, read end, or side panel. They can’t just take the damaged section off, beat it out with a hammer, sand it, and repaint it. Everything is made with the idea of it being easier to replace than to maintain, aka planned obsolescence. Thanks, capitalism You guys are obscenely, dangerously wrong.  It’s not planned obsolescence, it’s physics. Modern cars crumple to absorb and distribute the forces of impact in an accident in an effort to protect the occupants. When cars didn’t have those crumple zones, the occupants, being the soft, squishy things they were, took those forces and were mangled or killed in horrible ways. Also, those older cars took hidden damage that often went unnoticed and made them very dangerous to drive.  I recently watched a TV show where a small sedan was run over by the trailer of an eighteen-wheeler. Run. Over. They had to unwrap the crumpled ball of a car from the undercarriage of that trailer. Guess what? The driver suffered only minor injuries because the car collapsed in exactly the way it was designed to so that she, in the very strong frame surrounding the passenger compartment, was protected.  And no, don’t thank capitalism for these modern cars. Thank Ralph Nader and countless other safety activists who worked tirelessly to make car manufacturers accountable for the safety of the people who drove their cars. 
Cars, Fucking, and Run: SheStayFabulous
 @Shestayfabulous
 Man old cars really were made to last
 1/5
 Ayton SZN
 @ReeceDontTweet
 ) his car ain't break a sweat
becausedragonage:

freshest-tittymilk:

princealigorna:

And this is why we used to make cars out of STEEL instead of FIBERGLASS! Sure, fiberglass is a lot lighter in weight and hence a hell of a lot better for gas mileage. But you hit anything at more than 20 mph and the entire body explodes off the fucking thing, and now you’re spending more to repair the car than it’s worth because you need a entire front end, read end, or side panel. They can’t just take the damaged section off, beat it out with a hammer, sand it, and repaint it.

Everything is made with the idea of it being easier to replace than to maintain, aka planned obsolescence. Thanks, capitalism

You guys are obscenely, dangerously wrong. 
It’s not planned obsolescence, it’s physics.
Modern cars crumple to absorb and distribute the forces of impact in an accident in an effort to protect the occupants. When cars didn’t have those crumple zones, the occupants, being the soft, squishy things they were, took those forces and were mangled or killed in horrible ways. Also, those older cars took hidden damage that often went unnoticed and made them very dangerous to drive. 
I recently watched a TV show where a small sedan was run over by the trailer of an eighteen-wheeler. Run. Over. They had to unwrap the crumpled ball of a car from the undercarriage of that trailer. Guess what? The driver suffered only minor injuries because the car collapsed in exactly the way it was designed to so that she, in the very strong frame surrounding the passenger compartment, was protected. 
And no, don’t thank capitalism for these modern cars. Thank Ralph Nader and countless other safety activists who worked tirelessly to make car manufacturers accountable for the safety of the people who drove their cars. 

becausedragonage: freshest-tittymilk: princealigorna: And this is why we used to make cars out of STEEL instead of FIBERGLASS! Sure, fibe...