Geniusism
Geniusism

Geniusism

Kind
Kind

Kind

Smalls
Smalls

Smalls

Take
Take

Take

Plans
Plans

Plans

Stop The
Stop The

Stop The

The
The

The

Donald Trumps
Donald Trumps

Donald Trumps

You Sure
You Sure

You Sure

Fucked
Fucked

Fucked

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Food, Frozen, and Trap: The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes HOW TO TREAT A TONGUE STUCK TO A POLE lWarm the pole with your hands. Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is very when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding. Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several minutes cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze 1 Do not panic. 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole 3 Move closer to the pole. Pulling sharply will be very painful. As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will quickly heal. | İlke z test pull. Get as close as possible without letting more of the tongue's surface area touch the pole. Alternative Method 0 se warm water Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may freeze and exacerbate the problem. Be Aware Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the small amount you will be able to generate is likely to freeze on your tongue.. If another person is present, have him or her pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over your tongue should do the trick Warm the pole wih yr ui wti your ton How To THWART AN AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT er all ood/ medi 1S tial restau tuate fave hark an- e to nc- to How rO ESCAPE FROM A GIANT OCTOPUS 1 Pull away quickly In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres- sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the next step. 2 Do not go limp. Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough, will check to see if you are a food item before letting you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult. However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres- sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring ou in for a closer look. 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around your arms. The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes Searchable CD With All 11 Handbooks plus wallpapers, and more By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht novelty-gift-ideas: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
Food, Frozen, and Trap: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes

 HOW TO TREAT A
 TONGUE STUCK
 TO A POLE
 lWarm the pole with your hands.
 Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is
 very
 when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding.
 Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole
 closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several
 minutes
 cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze
 1 Do not panic.
 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole
 3 Move closer to the pole.
 Pulling sharply will be very painful.
 As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue
 should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away
 from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on
 the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will
 quickly heal.
 | İlke z test pull.
 Get as close as possible without letting more of the
 tongue's surface area touch the pole.
 Alternative Method
 0
 se warm water
 Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and
 the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may
 freeze and exacerbate the problem.
 Be Aware
 Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own
 saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the
 small amount you will be able to generate is
 likely to freeze on your tongue..
 If another person is present, have him or her
 pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This
 may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is
 stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over
 your tongue should do the trick
 Warm the pole wih yr ui wti
 your ton

 How To THWART AN
 AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT
 er
 all
 ood/
 medi
 1S
 tial
 restau
 tuate
 fave
 hark
 an-
 e
 to
 nc-
 to

 How rO ESCAPE
 FROM A GIANT
 OCTOPUS
 1 Pull away quickly
 In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of
 small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming
 away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres-
 sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or
 if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the
 next step.
 2 Do not go limp.
 Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough,
 will check to see if you are a food item before letting
 you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or
 quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible
 sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a
 "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult.
 However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres-
 sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The
 octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring
 ou in for a closer look.
 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around
 your arms.

 The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes
 Searchable CD
 With All
 11 Handbooks
 plus wallpapers,
 and more
 By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht
novelty-gift-ideas:

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Bad, Beard, and Comfortable: nOrma1-people-sxare-me A group of rough looking boys walked past me today and all I heard of their conversation was "he's got that anxiety disorder bro so I went with him so he'd be more comfortable" and it made me realise the world isn't all that bad fitzefitcher #this is team skull its-just-a-phage The pet store I worked at had a pen with rabbits near the front door. On every side of the pen were huge signs saying "You can pet me, but don't pick me up!" One day two absolutely huge guys came in and one immediately reaches into the pen to grab a rabbit. Before i could say anything his friend grabbed his arm and asked him "did you see the sign?" He said "yeah! it says that you can pick them up but don't pet them!" Then he went quiet for a moment and softly said "I didn't read it right did I?" And his friend just puts his arm on his shoulder and said "its ok, i know you've got that thing where words get mixed up. Let just pet these cute lil shits" And I still haven't gotten over that interaction. flowernstt I was walking my dog through Boston bc he likes the likes car rides. He's a little thing tbh we call him short and long So this huge scary man with a full beard approaches me like "hey can my buddy and I pet your dog? He gets nervous around dogs but your's is so small I think it's a good place to start." Ofc I was like "yes he's very friendly!" So this guy brings his equally big friend over and they sit on the floor while this man looks terrified of my tiny dog so big man number one asks "canl pick him up?" And i say yes so he picks him up and puts him on man number two's lap and man number two is abt to freak out and his friend straight up just goes "hey man, it's okay just relax I'd never let anything hurt you. He'sa good boy." I'll never forget it ever bcI know that man looked at me (5'3, glasses, probably wearing a sweater vest) and my dog (kinda goofy looking little thing) and was like 'ah ves the two least intimidating living things I've seen in Boston all day he'll feel relaxed around them and went out of his way to help his friend. It makes me so happy wholesome stories
Bad, Beard, and Comfortable: nOrma1-people-sxare-me
 A group of rough looking boys walked past me
 today and all I heard of their conversation was
 "he's got that anxiety disorder bro so I went
 with him so he'd be more comfortable" and it
 made me realise the world isn't all that bad
 fitzefitcher
 #this is team skull
 its-just-a-phage
 The pet store I worked at had a pen with
 rabbits near the front door. On every side of the
 pen were huge signs saying "You can pet me,
 but don't pick me up!"
 One day two absolutely huge guys came in and
 one immediately reaches into the pen to grab a
 rabbit. Before i could say anything his friend
 grabbed his arm and asked him "did you see
 the sign?"
 He said "yeah! it says that you can pick them
 up but don't pet them!"
 Then he went quiet for a moment and softly
 said "I didn't read it right did I?"
 And his friend just puts his arm on his shoulder
 and said "its ok, i know you've got that thing
 where words get mixed up. Let just pet these
 cute lil shits"
 And I still haven't gotten over that interaction.
 flowernstt
 I was walking my dog through Boston bc he
 likes the likes car rides. He's a little thing tbh
 we call him short and long
 So this huge scary man with a full beard
 approaches me like "hey can my buddy and I
 pet your dog? He gets nervous around dogs
 but your's is so small I think it's a good place to
 start."
 Ofc I was like "yes he's very friendly!" So this
 guy brings his equally big friend over and they
 sit on the floor while this man looks terrified of
 my tiny dog so big man number one asks "canl
 pick him up?" And i say yes so he picks him up
 and puts him on man number two's lap and
 man number two is abt to freak out and his
 friend straight up just goes "hey man, it's okay
 just relax I'd never let anything hurt you. He'sa
 good boy." I'll never forget it ever bcI know that
 man looked at me (5'3, glasses, probably
 wearing a sweater vest) and my dog (kinda
 goofy looking little thing) and was like 'ah ves
 the two least intimidating living things I've seen
 in Boston all day he'll feel relaxed around them
 and went out of his way to help his friend. It
 makes me so happy
wholesome stories

wholesome stories

Bad, Beard, and Comfortable: nOrma1-people-sxare-me A group of rough looking boys walked past me today and all I heard of their conversation was "he's got that anxiety disorder bro so I went with him so he'd be more comfortable" and it made me realise the world isn't all that bad fitzefitcher #this is team skull its-just-a-phage The pet store I worked at had a pen with rabbits near the front door. On every side of the pen were huge signs saying "You can pet me, but don't pick me up!" One day two absolutely huge guys came in and one immediately reaches into the pen to grab a rabbit. Before i could say anything his friend grabbed his arm and asked him "did you see the sign?" He said "yeah! it says that you can pick them up but don't pet them!" Then he went quiet for a moment and softly said "I didn't read it right did I?" And his friend just puts his arm on his shoulder and said "its ok, i know you've got that thing where words get mixed up. Let just pet these cute lil shits" And I still haven't gotten over that interaction. flowernstt I was walking my dog through Boston bc he likes the likes car rides. He's a little thing tbh we call him short and long So this huge scary man with a full beard approaches me like "hey can my buddy and I pet your dog? He gets nervous around dogs but your's is so small I think it's a good place to start." Ofc I was like "yes he's very friendly!" So this guy brings his equally big friend over and they sit on the floor while this man looks terrified of my tiny dog so big man number one asks "canl pick him up?" And i say yes so he picks him up and puts him on man number two's lap and man number two is abt to freak out and his friend straight up just goes "hey man, it's okay just relax I'd never let anything hurt you. He'sa good boy." I'll never forget it ever bcI know that man looked at me (5'3, glasses, probably wearing a sweater vest) and my dog (kinda goofy looking little thing) and was like 'ah ves the two least intimidating living things I've seen in Boston all day he'll feel relaxed around them and went out of his way to help his friend. It makes me so happy Wholesome interactions via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2G2Zsb9
Bad, Beard, and Comfortable: nOrma1-people-sxare-me
 A group of rough looking boys walked past me
 today and all I heard of their conversation was
 "he's got that anxiety disorder bro so I went
 with him so he'd be more comfortable" and it
 made me realise the world isn't all that bad
 fitzefitcher
 #this is team skull
 its-just-a-phage
 The pet store I worked at had a pen with
 rabbits near the front door. On every side of the
 pen were huge signs saying "You can pet me,
 but don't pick me up!"
 One day two absolutely huge guys came in and
 one immediately reaches into the pen to grab a
 rabbit. Before i could say anything his friend
 grabbed his arm and asked him "did you see
 the sign?"
 He said "yeah! it says that you can pick them
 up but don't pet them!"
 Then he went quiet for a moment and softly
 said "I didn't read it right did I?"
 And his friend just puts his arm on his shoulder
 and said "its ok, i know you've got that thing
 where words get mixed up. Let just pet these
 cute lil shits"
 And I still haven't gotten over that interaction.
 flowernstt
 I was walking my dog through Boston bc he
 likes the likes car rides. He's a little thing tbh
 we call him short and long
 So this huge scary man with a full beard
 approaches me like "hey can my buddy and I
 pet your dog? He gets nervous around dogs
 but your's is so small I think it's a good place to
 start."
 Ofc I was like "yes he's very friendly!" So this
 guy brings his equally big friend over and they
 sit on the floor while this man looks terrified of
 my tiny dog so big man number one asks "canl
 pick him up?" And i say yes so he picks him up
 and puts him on man number two's lap and
 man number two is abt to freak out and his
 friend straight up just goes "hey man, it's okay
 just relax I'd never let anything hurt you. He'sa
 good boy." I'll never forget it ever bcI know that
 man looked at me (5'3, glasses, probably
 wearing a sweater vest) and my dog (kinda
 goofy looking little thing) and was like 'ah ves
 the two least intimidating living things I've seen
 in Boston all day he'll feel relaxed around them
 and went out of his way to help his friend. It
 makes me so happy
Wholesome interactions via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2G2Zsb9

Wholesome interactions via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2G2Zsb9

Alive, Being Alone, and Fire: IT ISE phantomemes: feel free to change things  ( such as pronouns )  as needed ! S M O K E  “ this is just a war in my head ”“ i give it time but it never seems to end ”“ i feel a fire in the back of my throat ”“ don’t you try to run right now ”“ you’re killing me right now ”“ i love the things we do when it’s just me and you ” S T  .  P A T R I C K “ you give me something to talk about ”“ i need a miracle ”“ you’re a glimpse of bliss ”“ i know you’re gone now ”“ i think you’re an angel ” M Y  H O U S E “ you’re a cold air creeping in ”“ i heard you down the hall ”“ you walk around like you own the place ”“ guess it was all my fault ”“ think you’ve been making me sick ”“ darling  ,  you can’t stay ”“ i’m not yours anymore ”“ i think it’s time to get out ” H O L Y “ you’ve got it all wrong ”“ you put on a faith facade ”“ you’re simply lost ”“ simply calling out sins don’t bring you closer to god ”“ you’re just a ghost at most ”“ you’re all alone ”“ there’s no way that there’s weight in the words that you preach ”“ you’re shallow and empty and filled with regret ”“ i think that chest must be heavy from that cross on your neck ”“ don’t think i didn’t notice ” F I R E “ i watched you decay ”“ who’d you think you’d fool ? ”“ you can’t cheat death when you’re digging your own grave ”“ so go ahead  ,  you just drop dead ”“ you’re out of line ”“ your bridges are burning ”“ what you give is what you get ”“ you were a walking  ,  talking  ,  corpse at best ”“ it’s hard to find life in something that’s already died ” G H O S T S “ i’m the one with the ghosts in my bed ”“ they only come alive at night ”“ i’ll be fine in the daylight ”“ it’s my head not my heart that’s strayed ”“ i’m sorry i keep pushing you away ”“ i don’t wanna fight ”“ why can’t you stay ? ” L E T  T H E M  I N “ i wanna feel something ”“ i shouldn’t give in ”“ i let you win ”“ you struck a match and left me to burn ”“ i won’t let you in ”“ find a new place  ,  another space to invade ”“ all the walls are caving in ”
Alive, Being Alone, and Fire: IT
 ISE
phantomemes:
feel free to change things  ( such as pronouns )  as needed !
S M O K E 
“ this is just a war in my head ”“ i give it time but it never seems to end ”“ i feel a fire in the back of my throat ”“ don’t you try to run right now ”“ you’re killing me right now ”“ i love the things we do when it’s just me and you ”
S T  .  P A T R I C K
“ you give me something to talk about ”“ i need a miracle ”“ you’re a glimpse of bliss ”“ i know you’re gone now ”“ i think you’re an angel ”
M Y  H O U S E
“ you’re a cold air creeping in ”“ i heard you down the hall ”“ you walk around like you own the place ”“ guess it was all my fault ”“ think you’ve been making me sick ”“ darling  ,  you can’t stay ”“ i’m not yours anymore ”“ i think it’s time to get out ”
H O L Y
“ you’ve got it all wrong ”“ you put on a faith facade ”“ you’re simply lost ”“ simply calling out sins don’t bring you closer to god ”“ you’re just a ghost at most ”“ you’re all alone ”“ there’s no way that there’s weight in the words that you preach ”“ you’re shallow and empty and filled with regret ”“ i think that chest must be heavy from that cross on your neck ”“ don’t think i didn’t notice ”
F I R E
“ i watched you decay ”“ who’d you think you’d fool ? ”“ you can’t cheat death when you’re digging your own grave ”“ so go ahead  ,  you just drop dead ”“ you’re out of line ”“ your bridges are burning ”“ what you give is what you get ”“ you were a walking  ,  talking  ,  corpse at best ”“ it’s hard to find life in something that’s already died ”
G H O S T S
“ i’m the one with the ghosts in my bed ”“ they only come alive at night ”“ i’ll be fine in the daylight ”“ it’s my head not my heart that’s strayed ”“ i’m sorry i keep pushing you away ”“ i don’t wanna fight ”“ why can’t you stay ? ”
L E T  T H E M  I N
“ i wanna feel something ”“ i shouldn’t give in ”“ i let you win ”“ you struck a match and left me to burn ”“ i won’t let you in ”“ find a new place  ,  another space to invade ”“ all the walls are caving in ”

phantomemes: feel free to change things  ( such as pronouns )  as needed ! S M O K E  “ this is just a war in my head ”“ i give it time but ...

Anaconda, Food, and Homeless: 4G7:17 What is the most money you have seen someone spend at McDonald's? Elysia Marie, Staff Researcher R Updated Nov 8 Upvoted by Benedict Hales, former Crew at McDonald's I worked at McDonald's for a few years and I remember getting a call for 100 McDoubles (1$ each), 100 small fries (1$ each) and 50 McChickens (1$ each). The whole order after tax came out to around 300$. My manager believed it was a prank call and told them that they would have to come in and pay before any food was made and it would take an hour to make since we were in the middle of a lunch rush Fifteen minutes later two guys show up You and Sanjay Vijaykumar upvoted this 47:17 y manager tax came out to aroun believed it was a prank call and told them that they would have to come in and pay before any food was made and it would take an hour to make since we were in the middle of a lunch rush Fifteen minutes later two guys show up claiming that they want to pay for the order and that they would come back to pick it up. Needless to say, the grill people were overwhelmed but were able to bust out all the sandwiches with help from other crew members. After they came back, a co-worker had to ask them what this all was for. The guys claimed that they were going to pass them out to homeless people around downtown San Diego. I was moved and have not forgotten about it since. 23.1k Views View Upvoters View Sharers You and Sanjay Vijaykumar upvoted this This really took some turn
Anaconda, Food, and Homeless: 4G7:17
 What is the most money you
 have seen someone spend at
 McDonald's?
 Elysia Marie, Staff Researcher
 R
 Updated Nov 8 Upvoted by Benedict Hales,
 former Crew at McDonald's
 I worked at McDonald's for a few years and I
 remember getting a call for 100 McDoubles
 (1$ each), 100 small fries (1$ each) and 50
 McChickens (1$ each). The whole order after
 tax came out to around 300$. My manager
 believed it was a prank call and told them
 that they would have to come in and pay
 before any food was made and it would take
 an hour to make since we were in the middle
 of a lunch rush
 Fifteen minutes later two guys show up
 You and Sanjay Vijaykumar upvoted this
 47:17
 y manager
 tax came out to aroun
 believed it was a prank call and told them
 that they would have to come in and pay
 before any food was made and it would take
 an hour to make since we were in the middle
 of a lunch rush
 Fifteen minutes later two guys show up
 claiming that they want to pay for the order
 and that they would come back to pick it up.
 Needless to say, the grill people were
 overwhelmed but were able to bust out all the
 sandwiches with help from other crew
 members. After they came back, a co-worker
 had to ask them what this all was for. The
 guys claimed that they were going to pass
 them out to homeless people around
 downtown San Diego. I was moved and have
 not forgotten about it since.
 23.1k Views View Upvoters View Sharers
 You and Sanjay Vijaykumar upvoted this
This really took some turn

This really took some turn

Anaconda, Food, and Homeless: 4G7:17 What is the most money you have seen someone spend at McDonald's? Elysia Marie, Staff Researcher R Updated Nov 8 Upvoted by Benedict Hales, former Crew at McDonald's I worked at McDonald's for a few years and I remember getting a call for 100 McDoubles (1$ each), 100 small fries (1$ each) and 50 McChickens (1$ each). The whole order after tax came out to around 300$. My manager believed it was a prank call and told them that they would have to come in and pay before any food was made and it would take an hour to make since we were in the middle of a lunch rush Fifteen minutes later two guys show up You and Sanjay Vijaykumar upvoted this 47:17 y manager tax came out to aroun believed it was a prank call and told them that they would have to come in and pay before any food was made and it would take an hour to make since we were in the middle of a lunch rush Fifteen minutes later two guys show up claiming that they want to pay for the order and that they would come back to pick it up. Needless to say, the grill people were overwhelmed but were able to bust out all the sandwiches with help from other crew members. After they came back, a co-worker had to ask them what this all was for. The guys claimed that they were going to pass them out to homeless people around downtown San Diego. I was moved and have not forgotten about it since. 23.1k Views View Upvoters View Sharers You and Sanjay Vijaykumar upvoted this This really took some turn via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2Aje2Vv
Anaconda, Food, and Homeless: 4G7:17
 What is the most money you
 have seen someone spend at
 McDonald's?
 Elysia Marie, Staff Researcher
 R
 Updated Nov 8 Upvoted by Benedict Hales,
 former Crew at McDonald's
 I worked at McDonald's for a few years and I
 remember getting a call for 100 McDoubles
 (1$ each), 100 small fries (1$ each) and 50
 McChickens (1$ each). The whole order after
 tax came out to around 300$. My manager
 believed it was a prank call and told them
 that they would have to come in and pay
 before any food was made and it would take
 an hour to make since we were in the middle
 of a lunch rush
 Fifteen minutes later two guys show up
 You and Sanjay Vijaykumar upvoted this
 47:17
 y manager
 tax came out to aroun
 believed it was a prank call and told them
 that they would have to come in and pay
 before any food was made and it would take
 an hour to make since we were in the middle
 of a lunch rush
 Fifteen minutes later two guys show up
 claiming that they want to pay for the order
 and that they would come back to pick it up.
 Needless to say, the grill people were
 overwhelmed but were able to bust out all the
 sandwiches with help from other crew
 members. After they came back, a co-worker
 had to ask them what this all was for. The
 guys claimed that they were going to pass
 them out to homeless people around
 downtown San Diego. I was moved and have
 not forgotten about it since.
 23.1k Views View Upvoters View Sharers
 You and Sanjay Vijaykumar upvoted this
This really took some turn via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2Aje2Vv

This really took some turn via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2Aje2Vv