Ghosting Meaning
Ghosting Meaning

Ghosting Meaning

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Testes

Testes

Levels
Levels

Levels

Arrested
Arrested

Arrested

When He
When He

When He

Skills
Skills

Skills

Testing
Testing

Testing

Flipping
Flipping

Flipping

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Img Flip

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On This Planet
On This Planet

On This Planet

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skill: If only knowledge = skill
 skill: If only knowledge = skill

If only knowledge = skill

skill: reminduniverse: That is indeed a very good skill, Sir!
 skill: reminduniverse:

That is indeed a very good skill, Sir!

reminduniverse: That is indeed a very good skill, Sir!

skill: crispy-ghee: There’s been a little bit of interest in Jagged-Tooth, Cousin’s first born son. A specific question was about his first meeting w/ Shepard, which I was gonna go on about, but I might make a comic about it later. So have a few sketches. Jagged-Tooth:  A rare Yautja Biotic, an elite Enforcer, and despite a rocky relationship w/ his father, he risked dishonor and punishment to join a faction of Yautja that went against the clan’s decision and went to aid Shepard. They meet when he arrives during the Battle for Palaven as surprise back up. Capable, dry, could be considered friendly…unless you’re Garrus.(When your dad’s ‘favorite son’ seems to be someone who isn’t even his fucking son, and who you think is a total dweeb, you’re not gonna be happy about that, I guess)He takes after his mother more than his father, though has his father’s intensity and skill, if only Cousin were more forthcoming w/ praise for that (he does recognize it, though he is very critical of his son and always being hard on him). Their relationship is that of an accomplished child with a father who has incredibly high expectations. That means that their relationship is very rocky. This started when he was young, as his path diverted early from Cousin’s hopes and plans for him. Not many Yautja are taught to develop their biotic abilities, and due to there being some contention over whether or not biotics are respectable in the Hunt tradition, the training is more often than not discouraged. But Jagged-Tooth went into training, and instead of becoming a traditional hunter, went down the line of enforcement. Cousin still hasn’t fully recovered from that disappointment. Joining the Yautja faction during the reaper war is the first time that Jagged-Tooth has ever had to operate under his father’s lead. He tries to be professional about it. Cousin, on the other hand, doesn’t try as hard to do the same. Someone described Jagged-Tooth as a “rare Yautja Bishounen” and you know what? Yes.
 skill: crispy-ghee:

There’s been a little bit of interest in Jagged-Tooth, Cousin’s first born son. A specific question was about his first meeting w/ Shepard, which I was gonna go on about, but I might make a comic about it later. So have a few sketches. Jagged-Tooth: 

A rare Yautja Biotic, an elite Enforcer, and despite a rocky relationship w/ his father, he risked dishonor and punishment to join a faction of Yautja that went against the clan’s decision and went to aid Shepard. They meet when he arrives during the Battle for Palaven as surprise back up. Capable, dry, could be considered friendly…unless you’re Garrus.(When your dad’s ‘favorite son’ seems to be someone who isn’t even his fucking son, and who you think is a total dweeb, you’re not gonna be happy about that, I guess)He takes after his mother more than his father, though has his father’s intensity and skill, if only Cousin were more forthcoming w/ praise for that (he does recognize it, though he is very critical of his son and always being hard on him). Their relationship is that of an accomplished child with a father who has incredibly high expectations. That means that their relationship is very rocky. This started when he was young, as his path diverted early from Cousin’s hopes and plans for him. Not many Yautja are taught to develop their biotic abilities, and due to there being some contention over whether or not biotics are respectable in the Hunt tradition, the training is more often than not discouraged. But Jagged-Tooth went into training, and instead of becoming a traditional hunter, went down the line of enforcement. Cousin still hasn’t fully recovered from that disappointment. Joining the Yautja faction during the reaper war is the first time that Jagged-Tooth has ever had to operate under his father’s lead. He tries to be professional about it. Cousin, on the other hand, doesn’t try as hard to do the same. Someone described Jagged-Tooth as a “rare Yautja Bishounen” and you know what? Yes.

crispy-ghee: There’s been a little bit of interest in Jagged-Tooth, Cousin’s first born son. A specific question was about his first mee...

skill: +2 puzzle skill
 skill: +2 puzzle skill

+2 puzzle skill

skill: He taught himself a new skill because he loves his friend :)
 skill: He taught himself a new skill because he loves his friend :)

He taught himself a new skill because he loves his friend :)

skill: awesomacious: He underestimates his own skill level
 skill: awesomacious:

He underestimates his own skill level

awesomacious: He underestimates his own skill level

skill: He underestimates his own skill level
 skill: He underestimates his own skill level

He underestimates his own skill level

skill: He underestimates his own skill level
 skill: He underestimates his own skill level

He underestimates his own skill level

skill: Skill and patience is the key
 skill: Skill and patience is the key

Skill and patience is the key

skill: Most important skill
 skill: Most important skill

Most important skill

skill: Now that’s skill.
 skill: Now that’s skill.

Now that’s skill.

skill: expert level skill
 skill: expert level skill

expert level skill

skill: expert level skill
 skill: expert level skill

expert level skill

skill: Cory Clark @ImHardcory Humans performed better on a cognitive task while being observed by a mean robot who insulted their intelligence than while being observed by a nice robot or while not being observed: 60 50 43 ms 40 Non-significant difference (p >.1) 30 Significant differences (p<.05) 20 10 ms 10 5 ms 0 -10 control condition positive interaction negative interaction Fig. 1. Experimental setup and participant performance. (A) We used a Meccanoid15KS animated at a distance by a human operator using two smartphones to control the robot's gestures and speech. In the two presence conditions, the robot was positioned in front of participants (to their right on the edge of their periph eral vision) and watched them 60 % of the time by turning the head according to a pre-established script. (B) The main effect of condition on Stroop performance improve- ment (error bars represent 1 SE) indicates that the positive interaction condition did not differ from the control condition, whereas the negative HRI condition differed from the positive HRI and control conditions averaged (see the Supplementary Materials for detailed statistical analyses). Stroop performance improvement (in ms) Robot Responses Participant's Questions Negative Interaction Positive Interaction a My ideal "perfect" day would be to meet people like you outside to learn new things would constitute What I do not have a "perfect" day for you? "perfect" day, this question does not make sense Name three things you and We have arms, two eyes and we are both nice. We are very different; I do not see апy common your partner appear to have in points between us common I enjoy doing analysis and evaluating For what in your life do you feel most grateful To meet and discuss with people, to have moments of exchanges like this one, all this is very pleasant programs but you would not understand. To be able to have humor, it is difficult for me, the To be able to create If you had to wake up tomorrow having gained a quality or skill, what would it only joke that I know is the story of a robot who other robots to have enters a bar. The bartender asks "What do interesting you be? want to drink? I need something that relaxes me a сonversations. bit". The bartender serves him a screwdriver... Okay, it's not very funny Good times and be able to talk about everything. Complete this sentence: "I This question seems too personal for me to speak with yoи. wish I had someone with whom I could share..." What do you value most inSharing and trust, moreover I think we could friendship? I do not value friendship become friends. If you were going to become a close friend with your I already like him(her) a lot. That I'm bored partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know maxofs2d:
 skill: Cory Clark
 @ImHardcory
 Humans performed better on a cognitive task while
 being observed by a mean robot who insulted their
 intelligence than while being observed by a nice robot
 or while not being observed:

 60
 50
 43 ms
 40
 Non-significant difference (p >.1)
 30
 Significant differences (p<.05)
 20
 10 ms
 10
 5 ms
 0
 -10
 control condition
 positive interaction
 negative interaction
 Fig. 1. Experimental setup and participant performance. (A) We used a Meccanoid15KS animated at a distance by a human operator using two smartphones
 to control the robot's gestures and speech. In the two presence conditions, the robot was positioned in front of participants (to their right on the edge of their periph
 eral vision) and watched them 60 % of the time by turning the head according to a pre-established script. (B) The main effect of condition on Stroop performance improve-
 ment (error bars represent 1 SE) indicates that the positive interaction condition did not differ from the control condition, whereas the negative HRI condition differed
 from the positive HRI and control conditions averaged (see the Supplementary Materials for detailed statistical analyses).
 Stroop performance improvement (in ms)

 Robot Responses
 Participant's Questions
 Negative Interaction
 Positive Interaction
 a My ideal "perfect" day would be to meet people
 like you outside to learn new things
 would
 constitute
 What
 I do not have a
 "perfect" day for you?
 "perfect" day, this
 question does not make
 sense
 Name three things you and
 We have arms, two eyes and we are both nice.
 We are very different; I
 do not see апy common
 your partner appear to have in
 points between us
 common
 I enjoy doing analysis
 and evaluating
 For what in your life do you
 feel most grateful
 To meet and discuss with people, to have moments
 of exchanges like this one, all this is very pleasant
 programs but you
 would not understand.
 To be able to have humor, it is difficult for me, the
 To be able to create
 If you had to wake up
 tomorrow having gained a
 quality or skill, what would it
 only joke that I know is the story of a robot who
 other robots to have
 enters a bar. The bartender asks "What do
 interesting
 you
 be?
 want to drink? I need something that relaxes me a
 сonversations.
 bit". The bartender serves him a screwdriver...
 Okay, it's not very funny
 Good times and be able to talk about everything.
 Complete this sentence: "I
 This question seems too
 personal for me to
 speak with yoи.
 wish I had
 someone with
 whom I could share..."
 What do you value most inSharing and trust, moreover I think we could
 friendship?
 I do not value
 friendship
 become friends.
 If you were going to become
 a close friend with your
 I already like him(her) a lot.
 That I'm bored
 partner, please share what
 would be important for him or
 her to know
maxofs2d:

maxofs2d:

skill: toggl.com YOU WANT TO WORK FOR A So LET'S POP THE HOOD AND SEE WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE IT TAKES TO TECH COMPANY? KEEP THE ENGINE RUNNING: KITCHEN FOUNTAIN OFFICE OF NINJA Qurifed GROWTH OUTDO LAND 9HAXIMUM lead ENPUTO 3 CFO developer face PRODUCT 5 LEAD Snace free REVELATION FRONT EN6 1) 0BM/SEO LEADGEN CAMP SUPPORT (8 CEO NERF GUN WAR ZONE 2 CUSTOMER SOCIAL MEDIA HIPSTER incoming tickets 10 SERVERS IN-HOUSE DESIGNER 11 BACKEND 9ENGINEER 15 MART VIRKUS THE CAST овм/SEO 1) LEADGEN 2 CUSTOMER Front line troops with nerves of steel. Customer support Black wizards of the Internet, skilled in the dark art of commandos have an uncanny ability to say "no" without it sounding like "no". Mostly peaceful. generating clicks, traffic and conversions. What, you think you found this comic by chance? 3 CFO HIPSTER The vault keeper. Tasked with maintaining fiscal responsibility. Also has to say "no" a lot, but lets silly expense requests slide occasionally to maintain peace and illusion of democracy Communicates in GIFS exclusively Social media hipsters are the only people who think "tweeting" counts as a skill on LinkedIn (and will ask to endorse it relentlessly). 6FRONT-N DEVS 5 LEAD A.K.A. "not actual engineers" in backend vocab. Heavily into classic rock or gangsta rap (or both). Obscurity of their hobbies is only matched by that of their T-shirt slogans. The buck stops here. Has keyboard shortcuts for phrases like "do it", "how hard can it be?" and "no." Not very peaceful. </Head Bady В СЕо OFFICE A.K.A. "The Big Cheese" CEOS feel most comfortable Ever wonder where your plane tickets, free snacks and gadgets come from? That's the work of an Office Ninja. The best Ninjas operate when facing challenges, so expect big changes (or a surprise product launch) when things start working too smoothly without ever being noticed. 9 KEND 10 SERVERS The non-glamorous techie. A watchful protector and a silent knight they keep the business up and running. He's the hero the company deserves (but not the one it needs) The only ones working 24/7. Go servers! 11) DESIGNER Arare beast, as most creatives prefer to roam free, hopping from one project to another. It's best to give them creative control to reduce chance of escape or violent rebellion. toggl.com Mart Virkus@ blog.toggl.com more general IT Company than programming but I hope it still fits here
 skill: toggl.com
 YOU WANT TO WORK
 FOR A
 So
 LET'S POP THE HOOD
 AND SEE WHAT KIND OF
 PEOPLE IT TAKES TO
 TECH COMPANY?
 KEEP THE ENGINE RUNNING:
 KITCHEN
 FOUNTAIN
 OFFICE
 OF
 NINJA
 Qurifed GROWTH
 OUTDO
 LAND
 9HAXIMUM
 lead
 ENPUTO
 3 CFO
 developer
 face
 PRODUCT
 5 LEAD
 Snace
 free
 REVELATION
 FRONT EN6
 1) 0BM/SEO
 LEADGEN
 CAMP
 SUPPORT
 (8 CEO
 NERF GUN
 WAR ZONE
 2 CUSTOMER
 SOCIAL MEDIA
 HIPSTER
 incoming
 tickets
 10 SERVERS
 IN-HOUSE
 DESIGNER 11
 BACKEND
 9ENGINEER
 15 MART VIRKUS
 THE CAST
 овм/SEO
 1) LEADGEN
 2 CUSTOMER
 Front line troops with nerves
 of steel. Customer support
 Black wizards of the Internet,
 skilled in the dark art of
 commandos have an uncanny
 ability to say "no" without it
 sounding like "no". Mostly
 peaceful.
 generating clicks, traffic and
 conversions. What, you think
 you found this comic by
 chance?
 3 CFO
 HIPSTER
 The vault keeper. Tasked with
 maintaining fiscal
 responsibility. Also has to say
 "no" a lot, but lets silly expense
 requests slide occasionally to
 maintain peace and illusion of
 democracy
 Communicates in GIFS exclusively
 Social media hipsters are the only
 people who think "tweeting" counts
 as a skill on LinkedIn (and will ask to
 endorse it relentlessly).
 6FRONT-N
 DEVS
 5 LEAD
 A.K.A. "not actual engineers" in
 backend vocab. Heavily into
 classic rock or gangsta rap (or
 both). Obscurity of their hobbies
 is only matched by that of their
 T-shirt slogans.
 The buck stops here. Has
 keyboard shortcuts for
 phrases like "do it", "how hard
 can it be?" and "no." Not very
 peaceful.
 </Head
 Bady
 В СЕо
 OFFICE
 A.K.A. "The Big Cheese"
 CEOS feel most comfortable
 Ever wonder where your
 plane tickets, free snacks and
 gadgets come from? That's
 the work of an Office Ninja.
 The best Ninjas operate
 when facing challenges, so
 expect big changes (or a
 surprise product launch)
 when things start working
 too smoothly
 without ever being noticed.
 9 KEND
 10 SERVERS
 The non-glamorous techie.
 A watchful protector and a silent
 knight they keep the business
 up and running. He's the hero
 the company deserves (but not
 the one it needs)
 The only ones working 24/7.
 Go servers!
 11) DESIGNER
 Arare beast, as most creatives
 prefer to roam free, hopping
 from one project to another. It's
 best to give them creative control
 to reduce chance of escape or
 violent rebellion.
 toggl.com
 Mart Virkus@ blog.toggl.com
more general IT Company than programming but I hope it still fits here

more general IT Company than programming but I hope it still fits here

skill: HOW TO DRAW HIJAB @souratgar certified Muslim WHAT IS HIJAB? "Hijab" is a form of dress code in Islam. Not only does it apply to women, but it applies to men as well. Hijab means dressing modestly; covering your arms, legs, and wearing loose clothing. There's a lot of different types of hijab! Here's the 3 main types: (somehimes the entire) face is covereel @Souratgar HIJAB FOR THE SAKE OF SPACE, WEL LOOK ONLY AT THO STYLE) NIQAB BURQA Sometimes hijabis will wear a CHADOR over their hijab. A chador is a fabric that hangs from your head (it's almost like a superhero cape!) Some Muslim women will wear chador while praying. M SUPER They come in a lot of different designs and colours. The most common colour is black. Com FY However, there are plenty of chadors that have beautiful floral designs. The fabric used to make chadors is usually cotton. @souratgar "OKAY SO HOW DO I DRAN IT? It's very easy! Drawing a hijab requi res one skill: knowing how fabric folds! And sometimes, depending on how tight the hijab is there won't be many fabric folds! @souratgar MIX TIGHT LOOSE You can even design your own! The criteria for a hijab is - Covers ears, neck, and hair - *Has* to be worn with modest clothing, no bikini armour sorry :( REMEMBER! To use references! But also, if a hijiabi has a problem with your design or your drawing of a hijabi, listen to them! You can always learn new things from others, especially those you're trying to represent. @souratgar THANKS GOOD LUCK kamikazevendetta: souratgar: I made an art tutorial on how to draw hijab and hijabis! Ahhhhh!!! Its so good!! Thank you lovely person for making this, maybe ill finally get to see people dressed like me in art soon!! (Also thank you for the note on the modest clothing- wearing a hijab isnt like choosing to wear a hat, while how each hijabi wears it is different and totally up to her, its frustrating to see it added on as an afterthought in media to gain representation points. A large part of the reason many wear it is the lack of sexualisation it gives us, so please keep that in mind!)
 skill: HOW TO DRAW
 HIJAB
 @souratgar
 certified
 Muslim

 WHAT IS HIJAB?
 "Hijab" is a form of dress code in Islam. Not only does it apply to women, but it applies to men as well.
 Hijab means dressing modestly; covering your arms, legs, and wearing loose clothing.
 There's a lot of different types of hijab! Here's the 3 main types:
 (somehimes the entire)
 face is covereel
 @Souratgar
 HIJAB
 FOR THE SAKE
 OF SPACE, WEL
 LOOK ONLY AT THO
 STYLE)
 NIQAB
 BURQA

 Sometimes hijabis will wear a CHADOR over their hijab.
 A chador is a fabric that hangs from your head
 (it's almost like a superhero cape!)
 Some Muslim women will wear chador while praying.
 M SUPER
 They come in a lot of different designs
 and colours. The most common colour is black.
 Com FY
 However, there are plenty of chadors that
 have beautiful floral designs.
 The fabric used to make chadors is usually cotton.
 @souratgar

 "OKAY SO HOW DO
 I DRAN IT?
 It's very easy! Drawing a hijab requi res one skill: knowing how
 fabric folds! And sometimes, depending on how tight the hijab is
 there won't be many fabric folds!
 @souratgar
 MIX
 TIGHT
 LOOSE
 You can even design your own! The criteria for a hijab is
 - Covers ears, neck, and hair
 - *Has* to be worn with modest clothing,
 no bikini armour sorry :(

 REMEMBER!
 To use references!
 But also, if a hijiabi has a problem with your design
 or your drawing of a hijabi, listen to them!
 You can always learn new things from others,
 especially those you're trying to
 represent.
 @souratgar
 THANKS
 GOOD LUCK
kamikazevendetta:

souratgar:
I made an art tutorial on how to draw hijab and hijabis!
Ahhhhh!!! Its so good!! Thank you lovely person for making this, maybe ill finally get to see people dressed like me in art soon!! 

(Also thank you for the note on the modest clothing- wearing a hijab isnt like choosing to wear a hat, while how each hijabi wears it is different and totally up to her, its frustrating to see it added on as an afterthought in media to gain representation points. A large part of the reason many wear it is the lack of sexualisation it gives us, so please keep that in mind!)

kamikazevendetta: souratgar: I made an art tutorial on how to draw hijab and hijabis! Ahhhhh!!! Its so good!! Thank you lovely person fo...

skill: ORihad Herrma M S youmakemelikecharity: rock-moms: vastderp: gaybuttfuckzone: deltasniper1000: So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I’m posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.] Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it’s not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them. THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH) They are the world’s largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE. They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn’t put them where they need to fucking go. So they don’t have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn’t just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it’ll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it’s basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons. “If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators.” No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job. They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it’s so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) “Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!” Do not let that expression fool you, they just don’t have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck. They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them. “Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us.” Yes, thank you. “But if they’re so bad at literally everything, why haven’t they gone extinct.” Great question. BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT’S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that’ll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY. And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it. LIVE OCEAN SUNFISH UPDATE: FISH DISCOVERED TO BE MORE DUMB THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHTSo the top and bottom fins kind of wiggle all of the time and they are not sure exactly why but think it’s stabilization. BUT they can jump by turning on their side and using them as wing type things. It is suspected they do this as a way of “scratching” their parasite ridden bodies. So learning that I was like “huh okay they have a skill.” Then I discovered this: Since they are so terrible at swimming, the current will carry them into deep cold water. Then they die. So I have learned that they are so stupid they just get slowly consumed by a freezing death. All while they have the full ability for that to not happen. Because they’re fucking worthless floating garbage i read this out loud to my marine bio nerd friend and she agrees be nice to them they’re doing their best :(
 skill: ORihad Herrma M
 S
youmakemelikecharity:

rock-moms:

vastderp:

gaybuttfuckzone:

deltasniper1000:

So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I’m posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.]

Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it’s not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them.

THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH)

They are the world’s largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE.

They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn’t put them where they need to fucking go. 

So they don’t have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn’t just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it’ll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it’s basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons. 

“If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators.” No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job.

They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it’s so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) “Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!” Do not let that expression fool you, they just don’t have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck.

They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them. 

“Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us.” Yes, thank you. “But if they’re so bad at literally everything, why haven’t they gone extinct.” Great question. 

BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT’S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that’ll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY. 

And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it.


LIVE OCEAN SUNFISH UPDATE: FISH DISCOVERED TO BE MORE DUMB THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHTSo
 the top and bottom fins kind of wiggle all of the time and they are not
 sure exactly why but think it’s stabilization. BUT they can jump by 
turning on their side and using them as 
wing type things. It is suspected they do this as a way of “scratching” 
their parasite ridden bodies. So learning that I was like “huh okay they
 have a skill.” Then I discovered this: Since they 
are so terrible at swimming, the current will carry them into deep cold 
water. Then they die. So I have learned that they are so stupid they 
just get slowly consumed by a freezing death. All while they have the 
full ability for that to not happen. Because they’re fucking worthless 
floating garbage



i read this out loud to my marine bio nerd friend and she agrees


be nice to them they’re doing their best :(

youmakemelikecharity: rock-moms: vastderp: gaybuttfuckzone: deltasniper1000: So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate...

skill: If you don't teach your child to obey Jesus, the devil will teach them evolution, sexuality psychology, witchcraft doktorgirlfriend: michi0no: prokopetz: cheesedeity: prokopetz: bear-eggs: geekandmisandry: Wow, I had no idea Satan was so knowledgeable and generous with his time. #TeamSatan Can satan come teach a class at my school Amusingly, among the Western European demon-conjuring cults of the 16th Century, many demons were greatly valued for their skill as teachers, often to the point that grimoires would place greater emphasis on the subjects each demon was qualified to teach than on their supernatural powers. For example, this guy? Teaches moral philosophy. And this creepy dude? He’s your astronomy professor. Seriously, look this stuff up some time - it’s wild. I now want a comic or cartoon series about demon teachers and their human students. Not sure if it should be college or high school. “Aw, man - I got Professor Lionwheel. I hear if you fail his exams, he eats your legs.” “Yeah, but he’s supposed to be really good about keeping regular office hours.” “Huh. Sort of a trade-off, really.” Okay but it’s kind of fun to look this stuff up. There are literally so many teacher-demons. Like This dude is your foreign language prof. And Mister Chickenlegs is gonna teach you some manners And this guy is your freakin’ Art Professor.  BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!I wanna learn art from the hell puppy! :O(Michi, I just raided the “demons” search on your blog. Good times, lemme tell ya.DEMON DATABASE, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? Ohhhh, boy, I’m about to lose some hours here.)
 skill: If you don't teach your
 child to obey Jesus, the
 devil will teach them
 evolution, sexuality
 psychology, witchcraft
doktorgirlfriend:

michi0no:
prokopetz:

cheesedeity:

prokopetz:

bear-eggs:

geekandmisandry:

Wow, I had no idea Satan was so knowledgeable and generous with his time.
#TeamSatan

Can satan come teach a class at my school

Amusingly, among the Western European demon-conjuring cults of the 16th Century, many demons were greatly valued for their skill as teachers, often to the point that grimoires would place greater emphasis on the subjects each demon was qualified to teach than on their supernatural powers.
For example, this guy?
Teaches moral philosophy.
And this creepy dude?
He’s your astronomy professor.
Seriously, look this stuff up some time - it’s wild.

I now want a comic or cartoon series about demon teachers and their human students. Not sure if it should be college or high school.

“Aw, man - I got Professor Lionwheel. I hear if you fail his exams, he eats your legs.”
“Yeah, but he’s supposed to be really good about keeping regular office hours.”
“Huh. Sort of a trade-off, really.”


Okay but it’s kind of fun to look this stuff up. There are literally so many teacher-demons. Like
This dude is your foreign language prof.

And Mister Chickenlegs is gonna teach you some manners
And this guy is your freakin’ Art Professor. 

BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!I wanna learn art from the hell puppy! :O(Michi, I just raided the “demons” search on your blog. Good times, lemme tell ya.DEMON DATABASE, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? Ohhhh, boy, I’m about to lose some hours here.)

doktorgirlfriend: michi0no: prokopetz: cheesedeity: prokopetz: bear-eggs: geekandmisandry: Wow, I had no idea Satan was so knowledg...

skill: O Rebecca Kriz 2015 branwyn-says: dadalux: “Amateur Opossum Actress” by Rebecca Kriz I object to the diminishment of this opossum’s OBVIOUS theatrical skill and training
 skill: O Rebecca Kriz 2015
branwyn-says:
dadalux:
“Amateur Opossum Actress” by Rebecca Kriz
I object to the diminishment of this opossum’s OBVIOUS theatrical skill and training

branwyn-says: dadalux: “Amateur Opossum Actress” by Rebecca Kriz I object to the diminishment of this opossum’s OBVIOUS theatrical skill...