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Rock Hard: Rock hard baby
Rock Hard: Rock hard baby

Rock hard baby

Rock Hard: Andy Richter and 2 others liked A TINy Beefsteak @TenderBeefste.. , 9h If my calculations are correct, biscuits and Triscuits hint towards a mysterious third food called "monoscuits." correspondingnerd: brunhiddensmusings: cameoamalthea: brunhiddensmusings: threeraccoonsinatrenchcoat: badgerofshambles: a singular scuit. just one.  an edible cracker with just one side. mathematically impossible and yet here I am monching on it. ‘scuit’ comes from the french word for ‘bake’, ‘cuire’ as bastardized by adoption by the brittish and a few hundred years‘biscuit’ meant ‘twice-baked’, originally meaning items like hardtack which were double baked to dry them as a preservative measure long before things like sugar and butter were introduced. if you see a historical doccument use the word ‘biscuit’ do not be fooled to think ‘being a pirate mustve been pretty cool, they ate nothing but cookies’ - they were made of misery to last long enough to be used in museum displays or as paving stones ‘triscuit’ is toasted after the normal biscuit process, thrice bakedthus the monoscuit is a cookie thats soft and chewy because it was only baked once, not twice behold the monoscuit/scuit Why is this called a biscuit: when brittish colonists settled in the americas they no longer had to preserve biscuits for storage or sea voyages so instead baked them once and left them soft, often with buttermilk or whey to convert cheap staples/byproducts into filling items to bulk out the meal to make a small amount of greasy meat feed a whole family. considering hardtack biscuits were typically eaten by dipping them in grease or gravy untill they became soft enough to eat without breaking a tooth this was a pretty short leap of ‘just dont make them rock hard if im not baking for the army’ but didnt drop the name because its been used for centuries and people forgot its french for ‘twice baked’ back in the tudor era, biscuit was just a lump of cooked dough that wasnt leavened bread as far as they caredthus the buttermilk biscuit and the hardtack biscuit existed at the same time. ‘cookies’ then came to america via german and dutch immigrants as tiny cakes made with butter, sugar/molasses, and eggs before ‘tea biscuits’ as england knew them due to the new availability of cheap sugar- which is why ‘biscuit’ and ‘cookie’ are separate items in america but the same item in the UKthe evolution of the biscuit has forks on its family tree I love it when a shitpost turns into an actually interesting post.
Rock Hard: Andy Richter and 2 others liked
 A TINy Beefsteak @TenderBeefste.. , 9h
 If my calculations are correct, biscuits
 and Triscuits hint towards a mysterious
 third food called "monoscuits."
correspondingnerd:

brunhiddensmusings:

cameoamalthea:

brunhiddensmusings:

threeraccoonsinatrenchcoat:

badgerofshambles:
a singular scuit. just one. 
an edible cracker with just one side. mathematically impossible and yet here I am monching on it.

‘scuit’ comes from the french word for ‘bake’, ‘cuire’ as bastardized by adoption by the brittish and a few hundred years‘biscuit’ meant ‘twice-baked’, originally meaning items like hardtack which were double baked to dry them as a preservative measure long before things like sugar and butter were introduced. if you see a historical doccument use the word ‘biscuit’ do not be fooled to think ‘being a pirate mustve been pretty cool, they ate nothing but cookies’ - they were made of misery to last long enough to be used in museum displays or as paving stones

‘triscuit’ is toasted after the normal biscuit process, thrice bakedthus the monoscuit is a cookie thats soft and chewy because it was only baked once, not twice 


behold the monoscuit/scuit

Why is this called a biscuit: 

when brittish colonists settled in the americas they no longer had to preserve biscuits for storage or sea voyages so instead baked them once and left them soft, often with buttermilk or whey to convert cheap staples/byproducts into filling items to bulk out the meal to make a small amount of greasy meat feed a whole family. considering hardtack biscuits were typically eaten by dipping them in grease or gravy untill they became soft enough to eat without breaking a tooth this was a pretty short leap of ‘just dont make them rock hard if im not baking for the army’ but didnt drop the name because its been used for centuries and people forgot its french for ‘twice baked’ back in the tudor era, biscuit was just a lump of cooked dough that wasnt leavened bread as far as they caredthus the buttermilk biscuit and the hardtack biscuit existed at the same time. ‘cookies’ then came to america via german and dutch immigrants as tiny cakes made with butter, sugar/molasses, and eggs before ‘tea biscuits’ as england knew them due to the new availability of cheap sugar- which is why ‘biscuit’ and ‘cookie’ are separate items in america but the same item in the UKthe evolution of the biscuit has forks on its family tree

I love it when a shitpost turns into an actually interesting post.

correspondingnerd: brunhiddensmusings: cameoamalthea: brunhiddensmusings: threeraccoonsinatrenchcoat: badgerofshambles: a singular s...

Rock Hard: Andy Richter and 2 others liked A TINy Beefsteak @TenderBeefste.. , 9h If my calculations are correct, biscuits and Triscuits hint towards a mysterious third food called "monoscuits." correspondingnerd: brunhiddensmusings: cameoamalthea: brunhiddensmusings: threeraccoonsinatrenchcoat: badgerofshambles: a singular scuit. just one.  an edible cracker with just one side. mathematically impossible and yet here I am monching on it. ‘scuit’ comes from the french word for ‘bake’, ‘cuire’ as bastardized by adoption by the brittish and a few hundred years‘biscuit’ meant ‘twice-baked’, originally meaning items like hardtack which were double baked to dry them as a preservative measure long before things like sugar and butter were introduced. if you see a historical doccument use the word ‘biscuit’ do not be fooled to think ‘being a pirate mustve been pretty cool, they ate nothing but cookies’ - they were made of misery to last long enough to be used in museum displays or as paving stones ‘triscuit’ is toasted after the normal biscuit process, thrice bakedthus the monoscuit is a cookie thats soft and chewy because it was only baked once, not twice behold the monoscuit/scuit Why is this called a biscuit: when brittish colonists settled in the americas they no longer had to preserve biscuits for storage or sea voyages so instead baked them once and left them soft, often with buttermilk or whey to convert cheap staples/byproducts into filling items to bulk out the meal to make a small amount of greasy meat feed a whole family. considering hardtack biscuits were typically eaten by dipping them in grease or gravy untill they became soft enough to eat without breaking a tooth this was a pretty short leap of ‘just dont make them rock hard if im not baking for the army’ but didnt drop the name because its been used for centuries and people forgot its french for ‘twice baked’ back in the tudor era, biscuit was just a lump of cooked dough that wasnt leavened bread as far as they caredthus the buttermilk biscuit and the hardtack biscuit existed at the same time. ‘cookies’ then came to america via german and dutch immigrants as tiny cakes made with butter, sugar/molasses, and eggs before ‘tea biscuits’ as england knew them due to the new availability of cheap sugar- which is why ‘biscuit’ and ‘cookie’ are separate items in america but the same item in the UKthe evolution of the biscuit has forks on its family tree I love it when a shitpost turns into an actually interesting post.
Rock Hard: Andy Richter and 2 others liked
 A TINy Beefsteak @TenderBeefste.. , 9h
 If my calculations are correct, biscuits
 and Triscuits hint towards a mysterious
 third food called "monoscuits."
correspondingnerd:

brunhiddensmusings:

cameoamalthea:

brunhiddensmusings:

threeraccoonsinatrenchcoat:

badgerofshambles:
a singular scuit. just one. 
an edible cracker with just one side. mathematically impossible and yet here I am monching on it.

‘scuit’ comes from the french word for ‘bake’, ‘cuire’ as bastardized by adoption by the brittish and a few hundred years‘biscuit’ meant ‘twice-baked’, originally meaning items like hardtack which were double baked to dry them as a preservative measure long before things like sugar and butter were introduced. if you see a historical doccument use the word ‘biscuit’ do not be fooled to think ‘being a pirate mustve been pretty cool, they ate nothing but cookies’ - they were made of misery to last long enough to be used in museum displays or as paving stones

‘triscuit’ is toasted after the normal biscuit process, thrice bakedthus the monoscuit is a cookie thats soft and chewy because it was only baked once, not twice 


behold the monoscuit/scuit

Why is this called a biscuit: 

when brittish colonists settled in the americas they no longer had to preserve biscuits for storage or sea voyages so instead baked them once and left them soft, often with buttermilk or whey to convert cheap staples/byproducts into filling items to bulk out the meal to make a small amount of greasy meat feed a whole family. considering hardtack biscuits were typically eaten by dipping them in grease or gravy untill they became soft enough to eat without breaking a tooth this was a pretty short leap of ‘just dont make them rock hard if im not baking for the army’ but didnt drop the name because its been used for centuries and people forgot its french for ‘twice baked’ back in the tudor era, biscuit was just a lump of cooked dough that wasnt leavened bread as far as they caredthus the buttermilk biscuit and the hardtack biscuit existed at the same time. ‘cookies’ then came to america via german and dutch immigrants as tiny cakes made with butter, sugar/molasses, and eggs before ‘tea biscuits’ as england knew them due to the new availability of cheap sugar- which is why ‘biscuit’ and ‘cookie’ are separate items in america but the same item in the UKthe evolution of the biscuit has forks on its family tree

I love it when a shitpost turns into an actually interesting post.

correspondingnerd: brunhiddensmusings: cameoamalthea: brunhiddensmusings: threeraccoonsinatrenchcoat: badgerofshambles: a singular s...

Rock Hard: Andy Richter and 2 others liked A TINy Beefsteak @TenderBeefste... . 9h If my calculations are correct, biscuits and Triscuits hint towards a mysterious third food called "monoscuits. badgerofshambles a singular scuit. just one. threeraccoonsinatrenchcoat an edible cracker with just one side. mathematically impossible and yet here I am monching on it. brunhiddensmusings scuit comes from the french word for bake', 'cuire' as bastardized by adoption by the brittish and a few hundred years biscuit meant twice-baked', originally meaning items like hardtack which were double baked to dry them as a preservative measure long before things like sugar and butter were introduced. if you see a historical doccument use the word 'biscuit' do not be fooled to think 'being a pirate mustve been pretty cool, they ate nothing but cookies' - they were made of misery to last long enough to be used in museum displays or as paving stones 1862 Hardtack fromof bread was that to The The triscuit' is toasted after the normal biscu it process, thrice baked thus the monoscuit is a cookie thats soft and chewy because it was only baked once, not twice behold the monoscuitscuit cameoamalthea Why is this called a biscuit: brunhiddensmusings when brittish colonists settled in the americas they no longer had to preserve biscuits for storage or sea voyages so instead baked them once and left them soft, often with buttermilk or whey to convert cheap staples/byproducts into filling items to bulk out the meal to make a small amount of greasy meat feed a whole family. considering hardtack biscuits were typically eaten by dipping them in grease or gravy untill they became soft enough to eat without breakinga tooth this was a pretty short leap of just dont make them rock hard if im not baking for the army' but didnt drop the name because its been used for centuries and people forgot its french for twice baked' back in the tudor era, biscuit was just a lump of cooked dough that wasnt leavened bread as far as they cared thus the the same time. 'cookies' then came to america via german and dutch immigrants as tiny cakes made with butter sugar/molasses, and eggs before 'tea biscuits' as england knew them due to the new availability of cheap sugar- which is why 'biscuit and 'cookie' are separate items in america but the same item in the UK buttermilk biscuit and the hardtack biscuit existed at the evolution of the biscuit has forks on its family tree Source: authumor 36,507 notes Monobiscuit
Rock Hard: Andy Richter and 2 others liked
 A TINy Beefsteak @TenderBeefste... . 9h
 If my calculations are correct, biscuits
 and Triscuits hint towards a mysterious
 third food called "monoscuits.
 badgerofshambles
 a singular scuit. just one.
 threeraccoonsinatrenchcoat
 an edible cracker with just one side. mathematically
 impossible and yet here I am monching on it.
 brunhiddensmusings
 scuit comes from the french word for bake', 'cuire' as
 bastardized by adoption by the brittish and a few hundred
 years
 biscuit meant twice-baked', originally meaning items like
 hardtack which were double baked to dry them as a
 preservative measure long before things like sugar and butter
 were introduced. if you see a historical doccument use the
 word 'biscuit' do not be fooled to think 'being a pirate mustve
 been pretty cool, they ate nothing but cookies' - they were
 made of misery to last long enough to be used in museum
 displays or as paving stones
 1862
 Hardtack fromof bread was
 that
 to
 The
 The
 triscuit' is toasted after the normal biscu
 it process, thrice
 baked
 thus the monoscuit is a cookie thats soft and chewy because
 it was only baked once, not twice
 behold the monoscuitscuit
 cameoamalthea
 Why is this called a biscuit:
 brunhiddensmusings
 when brittish colonists settled in the americas they no longer
 had to preserve biscuits for storage or sea voyages so
 instead baked them once and left them soft, often with
 buttermilk or whey to convert cheap staples/byproducts into
 filling items to bulk out the meal to make a small amount of
 greasy meat feed a whole family. considering hardtack
 biscuits were typically eaten by dipping them in grease or
 gravy untill they became soft enough to eat without breakinga
 tooth this was a pretty short leap of just dont make them rock
 hard if im not baking for the army' but didnt drop the name
 because its been used for centuries and people forgot its
 french for twice baked' back in the tudor era, biscuit was just
 a lump of cooked dough that wasnt leavened bread as far as
 they cared
 thus the
 the same time. 'cookies' then came to america via german
 and dutch immigrants as tiny cakes made with butter
 sugar/molasses, and eggs before 'tea biscuits' as england
 knew them due to the new availability of cheap sugar- which
 is why 'biscuit and 'cookie' are separate items in america but
 the same item in the UK
 buttermilk biscuit and the hardtack biscuit existed at
 the evolution of the biscuit has forks on its family tree
 Source: authumor
 36,507 notes
Monobiscuit

Monobiscuit

Rock Hard: Rock hard baby by stauchlol FOLLOW 4 MORE MEMES.
Rock Hard: Rock hard baby by stauchlol
FOLLOW 4 MORE MEMES.

Rock hard baby by stauchlol FOLLOW 4 MORE MEMES.

Rock Hard: Birds And Beaks Rescue and Rehab This will likely be the most heartbreaking post I ever write On the evening of January 1, 2018, we lost 11 birds. Most of the birds passed within about 30 minutes of each other, with the last one, a nanday conure not passing until around 4am We originally thought maybe carbon monoxide or something in the air, and began evacuation to the garage and called 911. The fire department tested both for carbon monoxide and noxious gases and our results were zeros across the board The next logical thought was food/water. We pulled all the food and water and put them on the counter The next morning, we took those birds to our veterinarian and had necropsies done for them. The initial things our doctor found were hearts were good, lungs were good, all seem to be in good health, except their stomachs were inflamed, there was a green sludge in their Gl tracts and their livers were rock hard. Gross necropsies were submitted by our vet for 2 birds to determine official cause of death with food toxicity being the suspicion There are another 3 birds that we are unsure if they will make it or not Today, January 3, 2018, I took the in-bowl samples of food to Michigan State University Before we go further, I want to make it clear I am not pointing fingers. There were 3 foods included in our mix, and thankfully we are fastidious - we have the packages that food came in so that batches can be pulled and we have contacted the companies. The foods are Zupreem Fruitblend, large size for macaws, cockatoos etc. Higgins Vitaseed Lefeber's Nutriberries MSU is in receipt of 2lbs of the food that was in the bowls and we should have results back for WHAT the toxin is within 5-7 days We spoke with another Michigan Rescue to tell them what's going on, and they also experienced a die off in the last week of 3 birds. The foods they were feeding are Zupreem Fruit Flavored Blend and Higgins Vitaseed Our hearts are broken. In a million pieces. We are not ok. We will probably never be ok again. I am happy to answer questions. What l don't want is mass hysteria. We are awaiting results back from the lab and necropsies - and all we can do is wait. What I'm concerned with is that birds are dying and unlike us - you guys usually have one or two birds. If something happens, you're thinking it's your fault. That you've done something wrong. You don't question the food because you trust it. You need to have necropsies done. You need to save your food, your bags, and you need to get it tested We don't know which food it was at this point, and we're not pointing fingers What I can tell you is that the companies are being very cooperative, helpful and working WITH us My personal opinion is that for now, if you are feeding any of those brands, please stop and feed fresh/frozen foods only until we have the results back for why this happened Please keep us in your thoughts. Our hearts are broken. We lost 11 family members. Watching my children try to give CPR to the birds we all love and care for in vain may be the worst thing I have ever witnessed, only second to walking into my aviary and seeing all but 3 of my birds in there gone Charlie Max Guido Zook Oliver Rosie Eddie Cheech (M2, boarder) Cheech (YN Amazon) Chong Pebbles My loves. Rest in Heaven my angels. My request to you - ask your questions here. Don't flood my inbox. When have answers, you shall have answers. I'm an open book. l'Il answer anything here in this thread. We are a by-the-book rescue. We don't cut corners. So ask away If you're negative - I just don't have any energy for you. I really don't. Be supportive or be gone. Information about the food batches: Zupreem, Large for macaws/cockatoos etc 10287 865309107 Use By: 3/31/19 Zupreem, Large for macaws/cockatoos etc 09137 862908047 Use by: 2/28/19 Higgin's Vita Seed Parrot Use By: 4/5/19 Lefeber's Tropical Fruit Nutriberries: Use By Batch: 122218B Symptoms As digestion happens, about 4 hours in, the birds become wobbly, disoriented, weak, unable to stand up and still. Droopy wings. Vomiting a copper reddish substance, seizures begin and then death. The 3 remaining birds are still very wobbly and weak. We have 17 birds still living, including the 3 that we could still lose. Of the 17, a few had last batch food, a few don't eat this food at all (lorikeet, hyacinth), and my picky eaters are still with us. haiku-robot: rembrandtswife: wordsonbirds: tieltavern: aleksthetiel: THIS IS IMPORTANT PLEASE READ THROUGH. I’m posting this out of concern for others, as this is not a single outlying case. Please visit this rescues Facebook page and read through the comments on this post, there are others who have had similar thing happen to them. If you feed Zupreem or Vitaseed (And possibly nutriberries, but cross referencing through the comments shows that this isn’t likely the problem) I highly recommend pulling it temporarily and following this page, as they have sent away the food to be checked. This is the rescues page facebook.com/birdsandbeaks/ I normally don’t reblog sad things, but this is a reblog to save a life.  If youfeed Zupreem, Vitaseed, or Nutriberries, PLEASE read this post. From the page for those who can’t read the images who are worried about particular batches. Please check your food and watch your babes closely friends. Information about the food batches:Zupreem, Large for macaws/cockatoos etc: 10287 865309107 Use By: 3/31/19Zupreem, Large for macaws/cockatoos etc: 09137 862908047 Use by: 2/28/19Higgin’s Vita Seed Parrot Use By: 4/5/19Lefeber’s Tropical Fruit Nutriberries: Use By Batch: 122218B Thank you, @wordsonbirds, I couldn’t enlarge the images enough to read them. thank you @wordsonbirds i couldn’t enlarge the images enough to read them ^Haiku^bot^7. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. | Who do I read? | Contact | HAIKU BOT NO | Good bot! | Selfie | Meep morp! Zeet!
Rock Hard: Birds And Beaks Rescue and Rehab
 This will likely be the most heartbreaking post I ever write
 On the evening of January 1, 2018, we lost 11 birds. Most of the birds
 passed within about 30 minutes of each other, with the last one, a nanday
 conure not passing until around 4am
 We originally thought maybe carbon monoxide or something in the air, and
 began evacuation to the garage and called 911. The fire department tested
 both for carbon monoxide and noxious gases and our results were zeros
 across the board
 The next logical thought was food/water. We pulled all the food and water
 and put them on the counter
 The next morning, we took those birds to our veterinarian and had
 necropsies done for them. The initial things our doctor found were hearts
 were good, lungs were good, all seem to be in good health, except their
 stomachs were inflamed, there was a green sludge in their Gl tracts and their
 livers were rock hard.
 Gross necropsies were submitted by our vet for 2 birds to determine official
 cause of death with food toxicity being the suspicion
 There are another 3 birds that we are unsure if they will make it or not
 Today, January 3, 2018, I took the in-bowl samples of food to Michigan State
 University
 Before we go further, I want to make it clear I am not pointing fingers. There
 were 3 foods included in our mix, and thankfully we are fastidious - we have
 the packages that food came in so that batches can be pulled and we have
 contacted the companies. The foods are
 Zupreem Fruitblend, large size for macaws, cockatoos etc.
 Higgins Vitaseed
 Lefeber's Nutriberries
 MSU is in receipt of 2lbs of the food that was in the bowls and we should
 have results back for WHAT the toxin is within 5-7 days
 We spoke with another Michigan Rescue to tell them what's going on, and
 they also experienced a die off in the last week of 3 birds. The foods they
 were feeding are Zupreem Fruit Flavored Blend and Higgins Vitaseed
 Our hearts are broken. In a million pieces. We are not ok. We will probably
 never be ok again.
 I am happy to answer questions. What l don't want is mass hysteria. We are
 awaiting results back from the lab and necropsies - and all we can do is wait.
 What I'm concerned with is that birds are dying and unlike us - you guys
 usually have one or two birds. If something happens, you're thinking it's your
 fault. That you've done something wrong. You don't question the food
 because you trust it.
 You need to have necropsies done. You need to save your food, your bags,
 and you need to get it tested
 We don't know which food it was at this point, and we're not pointing fingers
 What I can tell you is that the companies are being very cooperative, helpful
 and working WITH us
 My personal opinion is that for now, if you are feeding any of those brands,
 please stop and feed fresh/frozen foods only until we have the results back
 for why this happened
 Please keep us in your thoughts. Our hearts are broken. We lost 11 family
 members. Watching my children try to give CPR to the birds we all love and
 care for in vain may be the worst thing I have ever witnessed, only second to
 walking into my aviary and seeing all but 3 of my birds in there gone

 Charlie
 Max
 Guido
 Zook
 Oliver
 Rosie
 Eddie
 Cheech (M2, boarder)
 Cheech (YN Amazon)
 Chong
 Pebbles
 My loves. Rest in Heaven my angels.
 My request to you - ask your questions here. Don't flood my inbox. When
 have answers, you shall have answers. I'm an open book. l'Il answer anything
 here in this thread. We are a by-the-book rescue. We don't cut corners. So
 ask away
 If you're negative - I just don't have any energy for you. I really don't. Be
 supportive or be gone.
 Information about the food batches:
 Zupreem, Large for macaws/cockatoos etc
 10287 865309107 Use By: 3/31/19
 Zupreem, Large for macaws/cockatoos etc
 09137 862908047 Use by: 2/28/19
 Higgin's Vita Seed Parrot Use By: 4/5/19
 Lefeber's Tropical Fruit Nutriberries: Use By Batch: 122218B
 Symptoms
 As digestion happens, about 4 hours in, the birds become wobbly,
 disoriented, weak, unable to stand up and still. Droopy wings. Vomiting a
 copper reddish substance, seizures begin and then death. The 3 remaining
 birds are still very wobbly and weak.
 We have 17 birds still living, including the 3 that we could still lose. Of the 17,
 a few had last batch food, a few don't eat this food at all (lorikeet, hyacinth),
 and my picky eaters are still with us.
haiku-robot:

rembrandtswife:
wordsonbirds:

tieltavern:

aleksthetiel:

THIS IS IMPORTANT PLEASE READ THROUGH.

I’m posting this out of concern for others, as this is not a single outlying case. Please visit this rescues Facebook page and read through the comments on this post, there are others who have had similar thing happen to them.

If you feed Zupreem or Vitaseed (And possibly nutriberries, but cross referencing through the comments shows that this isn’t likely the problem) I highly recommend pulling it temporarily and following this page, as they have sent away the food to be checked.

This is the rescues page
facebook.com/birdsandbeaks/

I normally don’t reblog sad things, but this is a reblog to save a life.  If youfeed Zupreem, Vitaseed, or Nutriberries, PLEASE read this post.

From the page for those who can’t read the images who are worried about particular batches. Please check your food and watch your babes closely friends.
Information about the food batches:Zupreem, Large for macaws/cockatoos etc: 10287 865309107 Use By: 3/31/19Zupreem, Large for macaws/cockatoos etc: 09137 862908047 Use by: 2/28/19Higgin’s Vita Seed Parrot Use By: 4/5/19Lefeber’s Tropical Fruit Nutriberries: Use By Batch: 122218B



Thank you, @wordsonbirds, I couldn’t enlarge the images enough to read them.


thank you @wordsonbirds i couldn’t enlarge the images enough to read them ^Haiku^bot^7. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. | Who do I read? | Contact | HAIKU BOT NO | Good bot! | Selfie | Meep morp! Zeet!

haiku-robot: rembrandtswife: wordsonbirds: tieltavern: aleksthetiel: THIS IS IMPORTANT PLEASE READ THROUGH. I’m posting this out of...

Rock Hard: SO YOU'RE HAVING SOME DIFFICULTY CATCHING THIS FUCKER BECAUSE HIS BITCH ASS WONT STOP RUNNING AWAY EVEN IF HES SLEEPING YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED? YOU NEED A MOTHERFUCKING GALLADE AND HOLD ONTO YOUR DICKS CAUSE THIS AIN'T JUST ANY GALLADE, IFYOU WANNA CATCH ROAMING LEGENDARIES YOU NEED TO LEARN SOME BREEDING FIRST THING YOU NEED IS A GARDEVOIR. SO GO CATCH YOURSELF A MOTHERFUCKING GARDEVOIR, OR RALTS/KIRLIA FUCKING WHATEVER WHAT'S IMPORTANT IS THAT SHE IS GOING TO GET FUCKED BY THIS GUY. (SO CATCH YOURSELF A HAUNTER AS WEL THATS RIGHT, ITS BASICALLY JUST SOME FUCKING POKEMON FANFIC. BUT WE'RE NOT JUST MAKING THEM FUCK SO WE CAN FAP TO IT. THISISSERIOUS SHIT MAKE SURE THE HAUNTER/GASTLY IS MALE, AND THE GARDEVOIR IS FEMALE THIS IS IMPORTANT FOR NON-SEKY REASONS: AT LEVEL 8 GASTLY LEARNS A MOVE CALLED MEAN LOOK. BREEDING HIM WITH A GARDEVOIR MEANS HIS BABIES WILL KNOW MEAN LOOK TOO YOU USE MEAN LOOK ON A ROAMING LEGENDARY,AND HIS BITCH ASS AINT GOIN NOWHERE. IF YOUR HAUNTER DOESN'T KNOW MEAN LOOK, RELEARN IT AT THE MOVE RELEARNER ANYWAYS, THROW THESE TWO IN THE DAYCARE WITH EACH OTHER, AND THEY'LL START FUCKING THE OLD PEDOPHILE THAT RUNS THE DAY CARE WILL GIVE YOU AN EGG. INSIDE THAT EGG IS AN EXTREMELY DOPE GALLADE THAT WILL HUNT DOWN AND CAPTURE FOR YOU ALL THE POKEMANS YOU COULD EVER WANT UNFORTUNATELY WHEN HE HATCHES, HE WILL LOOK LIKE THIS TURD OVER HERE IMPORTANT: IF YOUR RALTS IS NOT MALE, THROW IT IN THE BABY PIT LIKE A DEFORMED SPARTAN BABY ONLY MALES CAN BECOME GALLADES OKAY TRAINER, NOW YOUVE GOT SOME LEVEL GRINDING AHEAD OF YOU THE NEXT IMPORTANT MOVE YOUR GALLADE NEEDS TO LEARN IS HYPNOSIS IF YOU THINK PARALYZING A POKEMON IS A GOOD WAY TO CATCH IT. YOU NEED TO LEARN YOUR SHIT, CAUSE SLEEP IS TWICE AS EFFECTIVE AS PARALYSIS AT LEVEL 20, RALTS WILL EVOLVE INTO KIRLIA CONGRATS NOW YOU HAVE A GAY ASS BALERINA AT LEVEL 30, KIRLIA WILL TRY TO EVOLVE INTO GARDEVOIR. DO NOT LET THAT HAPPEN PRESS B ON THAT SHIT KEEP GRINDING UNTIL LEVEL53, AT WHICH POINT KIRLIA WILL LEARN HYPNOSIS AWESOME NOW GIVE THAT BITCH A SHINY STONE. BITCHES LOVE SHINY STONES. WHAT!? KIRLIA IS EVOLVING! CONRGATULATIONS TRAINER, YOU'RE MOMENTS FROM THE GALLADE OF YOUR DREAMS NOW SLAP A FALSE SWIPE TM ON THAT BITCH AND YOU RE ALMOST ROCK HARD. (YOU CAN GET THE TM IN SYCAMORE'S LAB) THE LAST MOVE IS UP TO YOU, BUTITS A GOOD IDEA TO GIVE HIM TAUNT SO HE CAN SHUT DOWN ASSHOLES TRYING TO USE ROAR OR RECOVER HEALTH CONGRATULATIONS TRAINER YOU ARE NOW THE PROUD OWNER OF THE ULTIMATE CATCHING TOOL! SO GO CATCH SOME SHIT P.S. GALLADE IS, SO FAR, THE ONLY POKEMON THAT CAN LEARN ALL FOUR OF THESE MOVES. IF TOU EVEN SAY SMEARGLEI SWEAR TO GOOIWILL COVER YOU IN BUTTER AND RAPE YOU TO DEATH Go catch that f**ker!
Rock Hard: SO YOU'RE HAVING SOME DIFFICULTY CATCHING
 THIS FUCKER
 BECAUSE HIS BITCH
 ASS WONT STOP
 RUNNING AWAY EVEN
 IF HES SLEEPING
 YOU KNOW WHAT YOU
 NEED? YOU NEED A
 MOTHERFUCKING
 GALLADE
 AND HOLD ONTO YOUR DICKS CAUSE THIS
 AIN'T JUST ANY GALLADE, IFYOU WANNA
 CATCH ROAMING LEGENDARIES YOU NEED
 TO LEARN SOME
 BREEDING
 FIRST THING YOU NEED IS A GARDEVOIR.
 SO GO CATCH YOURSELF A MOTHERFUCKING GARDEVOIR, OR RALTS/KIRLIA FUCKING WHATEVER
 WHAT'S IMPORTANT IS
 THAT SHE IS GOING TO GET
 FUCKED
 BY THIS GUY.
 (SO CATCH YOURSELF A HAUNTER AS WEL
 THATS RIGHT, ITS BASICALLY JUST
 SOME FUCKING POKEMON FANFIC. BUT
 WE'RE NOT JUST MAKING THEM FUCK
 SO WE CAN FAP TO IT. THISISSERIOUS
 SHIT
 MAKE SURE THE HAUNTER/GASTLY IS MALE, AND THE
 GARDEVOIR IS FEMALE
 THIS IS IMPORTANT FOR NON-SEKY REASONS: AT LEVEL 8 GASTLY LEARNS A
 MOVE CALLED MEAN LOOK. BREEDING HIM WITH A GARDEVOIR MEANS HIS
 BABIES WILL KNOW MEAN LOOK TOO
 YOU USE MEAN LOOK ON A ROAMING LEGENDARY,AND HIS BITCH ASS
 AINT GOIN NOWHERE.
 IF YOUR HAUNTER DOESN'T KNOW MEAN LOOK, RELEARN IT AT THE MOVE RELEARNER
 ANYWAYS, THROW THESE TWO IN THE DAYCARE
 WITH EACH OTHER, AND THEY'LL START FUCKING
 THE OLD PEDOPHILE THAT RUNS THE DAY CARE WILL GIVE YOU
 AN EGG. INSIDE THAT EGG IS AN EXTREMELY DOPE GALLADE
 THAT WILL HUNT DOWN AND CAPTURE FOR YOU ALL THE
 POKEMANS YOU COULD EVER WANT
 UNFORTUNATELY WHEN HE HATCHES, HE WILL LOOK LIKE THIS
 TURD OVER HERE
 IMPORTANT: IF YOUR RALTS IS NOT
 MALE, THROW IT IN THE BABY PIT
 LIKE A DEFORMED SPARTAN BABY
 ONLY MALES CAN BECOME GALLADES
 OKAY TRAINER, NOW YOUVE GOT SOME LEVEL GRINDING AHEAD OF YOU THE NEXT IMPORTANT MOVE
 YOUR GALLADE NEEDS TO LEARN IS HYPNOSIS IF YOU THINK PARALYZING A POKEMON IS A GOOD WAY
 TO CATCH IT. YOU NEED TO LEARN YOUR SHIT, CAUSE SLEEP IS TWICE AS EFFECTIVE AS PARALYSIS
 AT LEVEL 20, RALTS WILL EVOLVE INTO KIRLIA CONGRATS NOW YOU HAVE
 A GAY ASS BALERINA
 AT LEVEL 30, KIRLIA WILL TRY TO EVOLVE INTO
 GARDEVOIR.
 DO NOT LET THAT HAPPEN
 PRESS B ON THAT SHIT
 KEEP GRINDING UNTIL LEVEL53, AT WHICH POINT KIRLIA WILL LEARN HYPNOSIS
 AWESOME
 NOW GIVE THAT BITCH A SHINY STONE. BITCHES LOVE SHINY STONES.
 WHAT!? KIRLIA IS EVOLVING!
 CONRGATULATIONS TRAINER, YOU'RE MOMENTS FROM THE GALLADE OF YOUR DREAMS
 NOW SLAP A FALSE SWIPE TM ON THAT BITCH AND YOU RE ALMOST
 ROCK HARD. (YOU CAN GET THE TM IN SYCAMORE'S LAB)
 THE LAST MOVE IS UP TO YOU, BUTITS A GOOD IDEA TO GIVE HIM TAUNT SO HE CAN SHUT DOWN
 ASSHOLES TRYING TO USE ROAR OR RECOVER HEALTH
 CONGRATULATIONS TRAINER
 YOU ARE NOW THE PROUD OWNER OF
 THE ULTIMATE CATCHING TOOL!
 SO GO CATCH SOME SHIT
 P.S. GALLADE IS, SO FAR, THE ONLY POKEMON THAT CAN LEARN ALL FOUR OF THESE MOVES.
 IF TOU EVEN SAY SMEARGLEI SWEAR TO GOOIWILL COVER YOU IN BUTTER AND RAPE YOU TO DEATH
Go catch that f**ker!

Go catch that f**ker!

Rock Hard: brentwalker092: chelseabanker: Pleasure connection Love when a bottom’s dick gets rock-hard like that :)
Rock Hard: brentwalker092:

chelseabanker:

Pleasure connection

Love when a bottom’s dick gets rock-hard like that :)

brentwalker092: chelseabanker: Pleasure connection Love when a bottom’s dick gets rock-hard like that :)