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Anaconda, Betty White, and Chris Evans: bundibird: wrangletangle: stevenrogered: Chris Evans helps Regina King up the stairs to the stage after her Oscars win Okay listen up, all you dudes out there! It’s time for some life lessons from Chris Evans. Wonder why women are fine with this when he does it, but they find you opening a car door or offering to carry stuff for them annoying? Well, wonder no more! It works like this: A large number of women have had to learn how to dodge and swerve and sometimes even slap away men’s hands from the time they hit puberty - and sometimes before. Ladies, cis and trans both, are unfortunately experienced at being groped, poked, prodded, “helped”, and otherwise humiliated and threatened by men. Then also there’s the condescending attitude that of course we need a man’s help, and we should be grateful he offered it. No thanks. Chris is doing something very different here, and you’ll see it in similar video clips of him at other events. You can read his mental process in his body language. He starts with just clapping and congratulating. He offers nothing until there is a need, which doesn’t happen here until Regina’s shoe gets caught on her dress. Since women have literally tripped up the stairs at this ceremony several times over the years (because the shoe and clothing requirements are ridiculous), it is reasonable at this stage to think that my-shoe-caught-on-my-dress is a problem that actually needs to be addressed. This is when Chris offers. How he offers matters. He starts with an open hand toward her, but this is a big no-no. Open hands are a red flag. Open hands grope and grab and shove. He quickly corrects by flipping his arm over and offering his forearm instead. This makes it her choice whether to grab on or ignore him. She doesn’t have to contend with a potentially threatening hand while she’s also contending with her dress. He also bends down a bit to do this. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Chris is kind of a tall, beefy guy. Guys like that can be a bit intimidating without meaning to be, at least when they’re up close. Also, his arm is a bit too high to be useful to her if he stays at his full height. So he bends down. This is even more visible in the video from him doing this for Betty White at the 2015 Oscars, because she’s shorter than Regina, I guess. He offers his arm for exactly as long as she leans on it. When she lets go, he steps back. This is a guy who isn’t interested in showing off how much she needs his help. He’s just interested in helping, and when he’s not needed, he’s done. He goes back to sit down. He doesn’t hover. Also, Regina King knows who Chris Evans is. His behavior at work thus far has certainly made it into the rumor mill, thus factoring into whether she accepts help from him. Is he a dudebro or jerk to women at work? That doesn’t appear to be the case. Women are not helpless. Compared to men, our clothes are more often obstacles to getting where we need to go safely and with our dignity intact, but conversely, we’ve also learned to deal with that better than most men have. It’s not that we never need or want help; like all people, we do sometimes need a hand. It’s just that “some kinds of help are the kinds of help we all could do without.” If you are offering help to a woman, first make sure she actually appears to be struggling. Second, make yourself as unthreatening as possible and let her do any touching, not the other way around. Third, make sure she can refuse without any consequences. And fourth, back off as soon as she doesn’t need you anymore and let the moment go. I hadn’t even registered why exactly it was that he was so unthreatening in this and the Betty White assistance incidents, but you’re right. It’s all in the way he helps. It’s not that this is unthreatening behaviour “because he’s Chris Evans” – its because his body language is genuinely unthreatening and merely helpful. A+ analysis – I hadn’t even registered the details of why and how this behaviour was 100% ok, while from another man (who probably would have gone about it differentky) it might not have been
Anaconda, Betty White, and Chris Evans: bundibird:

wrangletangle:

stevenrogered:
Chris Evans helps Regina King up the stairs to the stage after her Oscars win
Okay listen up, all you dudes out there! It’s time for some life lessons from Chris Evans.
Wonder why women are fine with this when he does it, but they find you opening a car door or offering to carry stuff for them annoying? Well, wonder no more! It works like this:
A large number of women have had to learn how to dodge and swerve and sometimes even slap away men’s hands from the time they hit puberty - and sometimes before. Ladies, cis and trans both, are unfortunately experienced at being groped, poked, prodded, “helped”, and otherwise humiliated and threatened by men. Then also there’s the condescending attitude that of course we need a man’s help, and we should be grateful he offered it. 
No thanks.
Chris is doing something very different here, and you’ll see it in similar video clips of him at other events. You can read his mental process in his body language. He starts with just clapping and congratulating. He offers nothing until there is a need, which doesn’t happen here until Regina’s shoe gets caught on her dress. Since women have literally tripped up the stairs at this ceremony several times over the years (because the shoe and clothing requirements are ridiculous), it is reasonable at this stage to think that my-shoe-caught-on-my-dress is a problem that actually needs to be addressed. This is when Chris offers.
How he offers matters. He starts with an open hand toward her, but this is a big no-no. Open hands are a red flag. Open hands grope and grab and shove. He quickly corrects by flipping his arm over and offering his forearm instead. This makes it her choice whether to grab on or ignore him. She doesn’t have to contend with a potentially threatening hand while she’s also contending with her dress. 
He also bends down a bit to do this. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Chris is kind of a tall, beefy guy. Guys like that can be a bit intimidating without meaning to be, at least when they’re up close. Also, his arm is a bit too high to be useful to her if he stays at his full height. So he bends down. This is even more visible in the video from him doing this for Betty White at the 2015 Oscars, because she’s shorter than Regina, I guess.
He offers his arm for exactly as long as she leans on it. When she lets go, he steps back. This is a guy who isn’t interested in showing off how much she needs his help. He’s just interested in helping, and when he’s not needed, he’s done. He goes back to sit down. He doesn’t hover.
Also, Regina King knows who Chris Evans is. His behavior at work thus far has certainly made it into the rumor mill, thus factoring into whether she accepts help from him. Is he a dudebro or jerk to women at work? That doesn’t appear to be the case.
Women are not helpless. Compared to men, our clothes are more often obstacles to getting where we need to go safely and with our dignity intact, but conversely, we’ve also learned to deal with that better than most men have. It’s not that we never need or want help; like all people, we do sometimes need a hand. It’s just that “some kinds of help are the kinds of help we all could do without.”
If you are offering help to a woman, first make sure she actually appears to be struggling. Second, make yourself as unthreatening as possible and let her do any touching, not the other way around. Third, make sure she can refuse without any consequences. And fourth, back off as soon as she doesn’t need you anymore and let the moment go.


I hadn’t even registered why exactly it was that he was so unthreatening in this and the Betty White assistance incidents, but you’re right. It’s all in the way he helps. It’s not that this is unthreatening behaviour “because he’s Chris Evans” – its because his body language is genuinely unthreatening and merely helpful. 
A+ analysis – I hadn’t even registered the details of why and how this behaviour was 100% ok, while from another man (who probably would have gone about it differentky) it might not have been

bundibird: wrangletangle: stevenrogered: Chris Evans helps Regina King up the stairs to the stage after her Oscars win Okay listen up, all...

Abc, Children, and Complex: MorningAfter Former Walking Dead Star's New Role ls Real-Life Superhero Jacob Clifton Flled to: THE WALKING DEAD NEWS .com 'Walking Dead' Actress Goes Undercover And Saves 55 Sex Slaves In Real Life PERD MUSIC POLITICS TV MOVIES CULTURE SPORTS REVIEWS LISTS RS COUNTRY COVERWALL 'Walking Dead' Actress Helps Rescue Colombian Sex Slaves Laurie Holden, who played "Andrea" on the zombie drama, part of real life sting mission that brought down notorious sex trafficker BY DANIEL KREPS aMc WALK WALK! aMc intersectionalism: “Here’s a pretty unbelievable story: Laurie Holden is an actress who plays Andrea on “The Walking Dead,” but she isn’t just an actress. Holden also works as a human rights activist with a group called Operation Underground Railroad. It’s an organization run by an ex-CIA agent named Tim Ballard that works to take down unsavory human traffickers and the like. So, Holden and the group went down to Colombia to try to take down a group of men who were trafficking in underage prostitutes. Ballard, Holden and co. ingratiated themselves into this group and set up an elaborate party in an effort to catch these men in the act….” Adam Pliskin, Elite Daily  “For months, the group put together a massive sting operation in cooperation with Colombian authorities. They each had an elaborate cover story. Ballard’s story was that he was the best man in a wedding back in the U.S. and was looking to hire several underage prostitutes for a big bachelor party in Cartagena. The cover was meant to lure the sex traffickers into a setup so that Ballard and his team could rescue the girls, many of whom were under 18. … In order for Colombian officials to prosecute the sex traffickers, they have to catch them exchanging money for the girls on tape. … Holden’s job was to “keep [the traffickers] occupied by the pool area while Ballard and the undercover officers worked to catch the traffickers on tape exchanging money.” Candace Smith and Aristides Pinedo-Burns, ABC News  “When the traffickers agree on camera to to pimp out the underage girls and the money is exchanged, the cops move in to make the arrests.  During the ordeal Holden works with social workers to comfort the girls, who fear they’re the ones who will be in trouble and that they won’t be paid. Holden is clearly heartbroken when interviewed after the fact. But she should also be extremely proud of her work.” Ian Cervantes, Complex Read more plus video
Abc, Children, and Complex: MorningAfter
 Former Walking Dead Star's New Role ls
 Real-Life Superhero
 Jacob Clifton
 Flled to: THE WALKING DEAD
 NEWS
 .com

 'Walking Dead' Actress Goes Undercover
 And Saves 55 Sex Slaves In Real Life
 PERD

 MUSIC POLITICS TV MOVIES CULTURE SPORTS REVIEWS LISTS RS COUNTRY COVERWALL
 'Walking Dead' Actress Helps Rescue Colombian Sex
 Slaves
 Laurie Holden, who played "Andrea" on the zombie drama, part of real life sting mission that brought down notorious sex trafficker
 BY DANIEL KREPS
 aMc
 WALK
 WALK!
 aMc
intersectionalism:

“Here’s a pretty
unbelievable story: Laurie Holden is an actress who plays Andrea on “The
Walking Dead,” but she isn’t just an actress. Holden also works as a human
rights activist with a group called Operation Underground Railroad. It’s an
organization run by an ex-CIA agent named Tim Ballard that works to take down
unsavory human traffickers and the like. So, Holden and the group went down to
Colombia to try to take down a group of men who were trafficking in underage
prostitutes. Ballard, Holden and co. ingratiated themselves into this group and
set up an elaborate party in an effort to catch these men in the act….” Adam
Pliskin, Elite Daily 
“For months, the
group put together a massive sting operation in cooperation with Colombian
authorities. They each had an elaborate cover story. Ballard’s story was that
he was the best man in a wedding back in the U.S. and was looking to hire
several underage prostitutes for a big bachelor party in Cartagena. The cover
was meant to lure the sex traffickers into a setup so that Ballard and his team
could rescue the girls, many of whom were under 18. … In order for Colombian
officials to prosecute the sex traffickers, they have to catch them exchanging
money for the girls on tape. … Holden’s job was to “keep [the traffickers]
occupied by the pool area while Ballard and the undercover officers worked to
catch the traffickers on tape exchanging money.” Candace Smith and Aristides
Pinedo-Burns, ABC News 
“When the
traffickers agree on camera to to pimp out the underage girls and the money is
exchanged, the cops move in to make the arrests.  During the ordeal Holden works with social
workers to comfort the girls, who fear they’re the ones who will be in trouble
and that they won’t be paid. Holden is clearly heartbroken when interviewed
after the fact. But she should also be extremely proud of her work.” Ian
Cervantes, Complex
Read more plus video

intersectionalism: “Here’s a pretty unbelievable story: Laurie Holden is an actress who plays Andrea on “The Walking Dead,” but she isn’t j...

Dad, Disney, and Life: nilesymon i wonder if magic is real, but only in a really mundane way. when i was little i could almost inerringly switch back to disney channel right as the ads ended when i was channel surfing maybe youve never accidentally crushed a ladybug underfoot. maybe your microwave popcorn never burns maybe you can spin around lots and lots of times before you get dizzy. is that magic?? honestly im not sure if these are magic or just small, invisible skills. im not sure which i like better My ankles never twist. I've always been rather active, I did track for five years (all the running events), and one time while running I stepped in a hole, lost my shoe, and landed sprawling about five feet away. I pulled my shoe on and kept running I have a coworker who somehow makes better coffee than everyone else even though the grounds come pre-measured and all you have to do is load them up and push a button. I have a friend who has inch long nails that never break. My brother can copy origami just by looking at the finished product and my mother can do the same with knots. I knew a guy who never made an error when typing Maybe we all have little magics, the kind that you don't realize you have. Just tiny things that make your life slightly better but are completely unnoticed on the outside. this is the cutest post i have ever read... Nooo I've actually shared this theory before. Like my Dad is really lucky finding parking spaces. And I've never cracked my phone even though I drop it on the time and have an average case. Like what if everybody gets one trivial part of their life that they're illogically lucky at? Non-stop fun at FUNsubstance.com Magic
Dad, Disney, and Life: nilesymon
 i wonder if magic is real, but only in a
 really mundane way.
 when i was little i could almost
 inerringly switch back to disney
 channel right as the ads ended when
 i was channel surfing
 maybe youve never accidentally
 crushed a ladybug underfoot. maybe
 your microwave popcorn never burns
 maybe you can spin around lots and
 lots of times before you get dizzy.
 is that magic??
 honestly im not sure if these are
 magic or just small, invisible skills. im
 not sure which i like better
 My ankles never twist. I've always been
 rather active, I did track for five years (all
 the running events), and one time while
 running I stepped in a hole, lost my shoe,
 and landed sprawling about five feet
 away. I pulled my shoe on and kept
 running
 I have a coworker who somehow makes
 better coffee than everyone else even
 though the grounds come pre-measured
 and all you have to do is load them up
 and push a button. I have a friend who
 has inch long nails that never break. My
 brother can copy origami just by looking
 at the finished product and my mother
 can do the same with knots. I knew a
 guy who never made an error when
 typing
 Maybe we all have little magics, the kind
 that you don't realize you have. Just tiny
 things that make your life slightly better
 but are completely unnoticed on the
 outside.
 this is the cutest post i have ever read...
 Nooo I've actually shared this theory before.
 Like my Dad is really lucky finding parking
 spaces. And I've never cracked my phone even
 though I drop it on the time and have an
 average case. Like what if everybody gets one
 trivial part of their life that they're illogically lucky
 at?
 Non-stop fun at FUNsubstance.com
Magic

Magic

Confused, Gif, and Target: Anonymous reader who has never commented before I loved this update, but is it too much to ask that you make the chapters longer? Also, it's been so long since your last update that I had to go back and re-read the previous chapter just to know what was going on. It would be great if you could give us more regular updates so we don't get confused. Thanks Comment as Every tired fanfic author (Plain text with limited HTML 4300 characters left Comment Cancel seasonofthegeek: tomfooleryprime: tomfooleryprime: Writing is a process that often undergoes heavy edits… that includes responding to feedback.  I had no idea this post would resonate with so many people. I let my vitriol surrounding several comments I received on a recent update get to me and it spilled out into .gif form and it’s now morphed into the most widely shared thing I’ve ever posted. So many comments and tags have said things along the lines of, “This was why I quit writing” or “This is why I hate writing fanfic.” And that’s soul crushing to hear, but I can relate.  But while there are some crappy and entitled readers, there are also many brilliant ones and I’m so grateful for them. The huge response to this post made me go back and skim through the comments on my old stories, and comments like the one below are about half the reason some of those stories got finished, even if it was months later.  Comments like these are so rare, but when they do come up, they leave me staring at my computer screen, drumming my fingers on the keyboard, struggling to convey my feelings about how their words have touched my heart. These are the comments that take the longest amount of time to respond to and the ones that cause me to wear out my backspace key the fastest.  It’s easy to complain, but it’s literally just as easy to praise, so I just wanted to take a moment to recognize all those dear and dedicated readers who have propped me up when I wanted to quit. Readers like you are why I keep writing, and why I even feel honored to do it on rare occasion.  And fellow writers, keep your heads up if you can. :)  I know I reblogged this before with the first part but the added content is perfect so I’m reblogging again. To those who have left me these kind of comments, even if I wasn’t mentally able to respond at the time, please know how much they mean to me. I have them saved so I can go back and read them when I’m down. Thank you for sticking around.
Confused, Gif, and Target: Anonymous reader who has never commented before
 I loved this update, but is it too much to ask that you make the
 chapters longer? Also, it's been so long since your last update that I
 had to go back and re-read the previous chapter just to know what was
 going on. It would be great if you could give us more regular updates so we
 don't get confused. Thanks
 Comment as Every tired fanfic author
 (Plain text with limited HTML
 4300 characters left
 Comment Cancel
seasonofthegeek:

tomfooleryprime:

tomfooleryprime:
Writing is a process that often undergoes heavy edits… that includes responding to feedback. 
I had no idea this post would resonate with so many people. I let my vitriol surrounding several comments I received on a recent update get to me and it spilled out into .gif form and it’s now morphed into the most widely shared thing I’ve ever posted. So many comments and tags have said things along the lines of, “This was why I quit writing” or “This is why I hate writing fanfic.” And that’s soul crushing to hear, but I can relate. 
But while there are some crappy and entitled readers, there are also many brilliant ones and I’m so grateful for them. The huge response to this post made me go back and skim through the comments on my old stories, and comments like the one below are about half the reason some of those stories got finished, even if it was months later. 
Comments like these are so rare, but when they do come up, they leave me staring at my computer screen, drumming my fingers on the keyboard, struggling to convey my feelings about how their words have touched my heart. These are the comments that take the longest amount of time to respond to and the ones that cause me to wear out my backspace key the fastest. 
It’s easy to complain, but it’s literally just as easy to praise, so I just wanted to take a moment to recognize all those dear and dedicated readers who have propped me up when I wanted to quit. Readers like you are why I keep writing, and why I even feel honored to do it on rare occasion. 
And fellow writers, keep your heads up if you can. :) 

I know I reblogged this before with the first part but the added content is perfect so I’m reblogging again. To those who have left me these kind of comments, even if I wasn’t mentally able to respond at the time, please know how much they mean to me. I have them saved so I can go back and read them when I’m down. Thank you for sticking around.

seasonofthegeek: tomfooleryprime: tomfooleryprime: Writing is a process that often undergoes heavy edits… that includes responding to feed...