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Jobbed

Jobbed

Plans
Plans

Plans

Poet
Poet

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Protection
Protection

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Caught

Caught

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The

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The Door

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Chest

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Protect

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A Dream, Christmas, and Instagram: cacen so at the bar in which I work, there's an unofficial rule that all of our door staff must have names that start with D or rhyme with 'doorman', which has led to me be- friending a trio of six foot four men with beards called Doorman Logan, Doorman Drew, and Doorman Dan now, let me tell you now that Doorman Dan is the abso- lute love of my life. I don't care that he's a decade older than me and has a fiance. you know when someone is so extraordinary or impossible to define that they're simply referred to as 'a character? that's Doorman Dan. now, before I get into his personality, let's describe his appearance. imagine the most stereotypical Scand inavian person ever: tall, white-blond, strong-jawed. now, add a heavy South Walian accent and an orange jumper. that's Doorman Dan. since meeting him last year, I've discovered .he once had a dream that he had a tattoo that said 'shit happens' on his left arsecheek, so when he woke up he decided he had to fulfil the prophecy and got it tattooed on his arse by a bloke called Junkie Jeff at 9AM .he forgot to call his girlfriend for three months while he was in the army, and was complet unaware they had broken up until he wishe happy Christmas and she responded with what the fuck Dan .accidentally married his army buddy in Vegas for thirty-six hours .he saw someone beating up a guy for being gay, and instead of jumping in and fighting back he decided to get absolutely bollock-naked and stand in front of the homophobe until he got freaked out and ran off .he has a millionare buddy who rings him up once a month for 'mystery adventures', one of which has resulted in Doorman Dan no longer being allowed inside any John Lewis shops .he is convinced the love of his life is not his fiancee, but a man named Ned. upon being asked who Ned is, he shrugged and responded with: "TII know when I meet him. .he runs an Instagram account dedicated to his pet rabbits and refuses to let people into the bar unless they follow him his fiancee booked a wedding venue before he even proposed. "I don't even know if I'm invited, truth be told." when he caught a couple having sex in our loos, he didn't want to intrude so he just gently knocked on the door and asked if they'd like a snack . .he has created his own non-alcoholic cocktail called Doorman's Sunrise because he feels left out being the only person on the dance floor without a drink when he's patrolling the bar I could honestly write a ten-season sitcom about him cacen BIG OL UPDATE: HE GOT MARRIED LAST WEEK!!!! zohbugg I need 10 seasons and a movie about the life of Doorman Dan thecheshirecass I look forward to reading more about the loving, polyamorous relationship he and his wife develop with Ned when they finally meet. fuckveahdiomedes What's the instagram for the rabbits, op? Source: cacen 114,993 notes The adventures of doorman dan
A Dream, Christmas, and Instagram: cacen
 so at the bar in which I work, there's an unofficial rule
 that all of our door staff must have names that start
 with D or rhyme with 'doorman', which has led to me be-
 friending a trio of six foot four men with beards called
 Doorman Logan, Doorman Drew, and Doorman Dan
 now, let me tell you now that Doorman Dan is the abso-
 lute love of my life. I don't care that he's a decade older
 than me and has a fiance. you know when someone
 is so extraordinary or impossible to define that they're
 simply referred to as 'a character? that's Doorman Dan.
 now, before I get into his personality, let's describe his
 appearance. imagine the most stereotypical Scand
 inavian person ever: tall, white-blond, strong-jawed. now,
 add a heavy South Walian accent and an orange jumper.
 that's Doorman Dan.
 since meeting him last year, I've discovered
 .he once had a dream that he had a tattoo that
 said 'shit happens' on his left arsecheek, so when
 he woke up he decided he had to fulfil the prophecy
 and got it tattooed on his arse by a bloke called
 Junkie Jeff at 9AM
 .he forgot to call his girlfriend for three months
 while he was in the army, and was complet
 unaware they had broken up until he wishe
 happy Christmas and she responded with what the
 fuck Dan
 .accidentally married his army buddy in Vegas for
 thirty-six hours
 .he saw someone beating up a guy for being gay,
 and instead of jumping in and fighting back he
 decided to get absolutely bollock-naked and stand
 in front of the homophobe until he got freaked out
 and ran off
 .he has a millionare buddy who rings him up once a
 month for 'mystery adventures', one of which has
 resulted in Doorman Dan no longer being allowed
 inside any John Lewis shops
 .he is convinced the love of his life is not his
 fiancee, but a man named Ned. upon being asked
 who Ned is, he shrugged and responded with: "TII
 know when I meet him.
 .he runs an Instagram account dedicated to his pet
 rabbits and refuses to let people into the bar unless
 they follow him
 his fiancee booked a wedding venue before he even
 proposed. "I don't even know if I'm invited, truth be
 told."
 when he caught a couple having sex in our loos, he
 didn't want to intrude so he just gently knocked on
 the door and asked if they'd like a snack
 .
 .he has created his own non-alcoholic cocktail
 called Doorman's Sunrise because he feels left out
 being the only person on the dance floor without a
 drink when he's patrolling the bar
 I could honestly write a ten-season sitcom about him
 cacen
 BIG OL UPDATE: HE GOT MARRIED LAST WEEK!!!!
 zohbugg
 I need 10 seasons and a movie about the life of
 Doorman Dan
 thecheshirecass
 I look forward to reading more about the loving,
 polyamorous relationship he and his wife develop with
 Ned when they finally meet.
 fuckveahdiomedes
 What's the instagram for the rabbits, op?
 Source: cacen
 114,993 notes
The adventures of doorman dan

The adventures of doorman dan

Advice, Crying, and Deer: I AT&T LTE 8:57 PM 10 85%.. l AT&T LTE 8:56 PM 85% Yester at 7:30 PM . mins This baby has been living under my back porch for several days now. She has obviously been badly abused, I can not get her to come to me. I feed and water her several times daily hoping to gain her trust. When we do catch her out in the yard I can see every rib but she runs back under the porch as soon as we try to get her to come to us. With the belo... See More Happy News!!! Today after work I went to tractor supply to buy a heat light for our new dog friend. As I was headed to the register to pay a man noticed what I was carrying and asked if I had chickens, I replied yes and he asked me how I planned on keeping them warm during the freezing temps that are on the way. He mentioned he had chickens and turkeys and we talked a bit. I then proceeded to tell him why I was buying the heat lights. He said awe, "my dog ran away around Thanksgiving, she was chasing some deer and never returned but her mom and sister did" I said "awe, I'm sorry to hear that". He asked what kind of dog and when I told him he said "oh my goodness, is she tan and white and blind in one eye?" I said "yes!". I showed him a picture and he started crying, he said "that's my Alana!". I could not believe it!!! He followed me home and when he said her name, she immediately looked up! I am so happy she was returned to her owner!! As I have reflected over this my heart is over joyed What perfect timing! And I was humbled in my assumption that she was abused...this poor baby has been away from home for almost 3 months, hungry, lost and scared...of course she would look worse for wear. Thank you all for all your advice and kind words!!! You and 30 others 16 Comments Oo Oo One of my wifeโ€™s friends posted this, what awesome luck!
Advice, Crying, and Deer: I AT&T LTE
 8:57 PM
 10 85%..
 l AT&T LTE
 8:56 PM
 85%
 Yester
 at 7:30 PM .
 mins
 This baby has been living under my back porch for
 several days now. She has obviously been badly
 abused, I can not get her to come to me. I feed and
 water her several times daily hoping to gain her trust.
 When we do catch her out in the yard I can see every
 rib but she runs back under the porch as soon as we
 try to get her to come to us. With the belo... See More
 Happy News!!! Today after work I went to tractor
 supply to buy a heat light for our new dog friend. As I
 was headed to the register to pay a man noticed what
 I was carrying and asked if I had chickens, I replied
 yes and he asked me how I planned on keeping them
 warm during the freezing temps that are on the way.
 He mentioned he had chickens and turkeys and we
 talked a bit. I then proceeded to tell him why I was
 buying the heat lights. He said awe, "my dog ran
 away around Thanksgiving, she was chasing some
 deer and never returned but her mom and sister did"
 I said "awe, I'm sorry to hear that". He asked what
 kind of dog and when I told him he said "oh my
 goodness, is she tan and white and blind in one eye?"
 I said "yes!". I showed him a picture and he started
 crying, he said "that's my Alana!". I could not believe
 it!!! He followed me home and when he said her name,
 she immediately looked up! I am so happy she was
 returned to her owner!!
 As I have reflected over this my heart is over joyed
 What perfect timing! And I was humbled in my
 assumption that she was abused...this poor baby has
 been away from home for almost 3 months, hungry,
 lost and scared...of course she would look worse for
 wear. Thank you all for all your advice and kind
 words!!!
 You and 30 others
 16 Comments
 Oo
 Oo
One of my wifeโ€™s friends posted this, what awesome luck!

One of my wifeโ€™s friends posted this, what awesome luck!