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America, Bad, and Be Like: Lou Ohio I need to get my life off my chest. About me. I'm a 46 year old banker and I have been living my whole life the opposite of how I wanted. All my dreams, my passion, gone. In a steady 9-7 job. 6 days a week. For 26 years. I repeatedly chose the safe path for everything, which eventually changed who I was. Today I found out my wife has been cheating on me for the last 10 years. My son feels nothing for me. I realised I missed my father's funeral FOR NOTHING. I didn't complete my novel, travelling the world, helping the homeless. All these things I thought I knew to be a certainty about myself when i was in my late teens and early twenties. If my younger self had met me today, I would have punched myself in the face. I'll get to how those dreams were crushed soon. Let's start with a description of me when I was 20. It seemed only yesterday when I was sure I was going to change the world. People loved me, and I loved people. I was innovative, creative, spontaneous, risk taking and great with people. I had two dreams. The first, was writing a utopic/dystopic book. The second, was travelling the world and helping the poor and homeless. I had been dating my wife for four years by then. Young love. She loved my spontaneity, my energy, my ability to make people laugh and feel loved. I knew my book was going to change the world I would show the perspective of the 'bad' and the twisted', showing my viewers that everybody thinks differently, that people never think what the do is wrong. I was 70 pages through when i was 20.I am still 70 pages in, at 46. By 20, I had backpacking around New Zealand and the Philippines. I planned to do all of Asia, then Europe, then America To date, I have only been to New Zealand and the Philippines. Now, we get to where it all went wrong. My biggest regrets. I was 20. I was the only child. I needed to be stable. I needed to take that graduate job, which would dictate my whole life. To devote my entire life in a 9-7 job. What was I thinking? How could I live when the job was my life? After coming home, I would eat dinner, prepare my work for the following day, and sleep at 10pm, to wake up at 6am the following day God, I can't remember the last time I've made love to my wife Yesterday, my wife admitted to cheating on me for the last 10 years. 10 years. That seems like a long time, but i can't comprehend it. It doesn't even hurt. She says it's because I've changed. I'm not the person l was. What have I been doing in the last 10 years? Outside of work, I really can't say anything. Not being a proper husband. Not being ME. Who am 1? What happened to me? I didn't even ask for a divorce, or yell at her, or cry. I felt NOTHING. Now I can feel a tear asl write this. But not because my wife has been cheating on me, but because I am now realising I have been dying inside. What happened to that fun-loving, risk taking, energetic person that was me, hungering to change the world? I remember being asked on a date by the most popular girl in the school, but declining her for my now-wife. God, I was really popular with the girls in high school. In university/college too. But i stayed loyal. I didn't explore. I studied every day Remember all that backpacking and book-writingI told you about? That was all in the first few years of college. I worked part-time and splurged all that I had earned. Now, I save every penny. I don't remember a time I spend anything on anything fun. On anything for myself. What do I even want now? My father passed ten years ago. I remember getting calls from mom, telling me he was getting sicker and sicker. I was getting busier and busier, on the verge of a big promotion. I kept putting my visit off, hoping in my mind he would hold on. He died, and I got my promotion. I haven't seen him in 15 years. When he died, I told myself it didn't matter what I didn't see him. I rationalized that being dead, it wouldn't matter anyway. WHAT WAS I THINKING? Rationalizing everything, making excuses to put things off. Excuses Procrastination. It all leads to one thing, nothing. I rationalized that financial security was the most important thingInow know, that it definitely is not. I regret doing nothing with my energy, when I had it. My passions. My youth. I regret letting my job take over my life. I regret being an awful husband, a money- making machine. I regret not finishing my novel, not travelling the world. Not being emotionally there for my son. Being a damn emotionless wallet. If you're reading this, and you have a whole life ahead of you, please. Don't procrastinate. Don't leave your dreams for later. Relish in your energy, your passions. Don't stay on the internet with all your spare time (unless your passion needs it). Please, do something with your life while you're young. DO NOT settle down at 20. DO NOT forget your friends, your family Yourself. Do NOT waste your life. Your ambitions. Like I did mine. Do not be like me srsfunny: A Sad But Common Story
America, Bad, and Be Like: Lou
 Ohio
 I need to get my life off my chest. About me. I'm a 46
 year old banker and I have been living my whole life
 the opposite of how I wanted. All my dreams, my
 passion, gone. In a steady 9-7 job. 6 days a week. For
 26 years. I repeatedly chose the safe path for
 everything, which eventually changed who I was.
 Today I found out my wife has been cheating on me
 for the last 10 years. My son feels nothing for me. I
 realised I missed my father's funeral FOR NOTHING. I
 didn't complete my novel, travelling the world, helping
 the homeless. All these things I thought I knew to be a
 certainty about myself when i was in my late teens
 and early twenties. If my younger self had met me
 today, I would have punched myself in the face. I'll get
 to how those dreams were crushed soon.
 Let's start with a description of me when I was 20. It
 seemed only yesterday when I was sure I was going to
 change the world. People loved me, and I loved
 people. I was innovative, creative, spontaneous, risk
 taking and great with people. I had two dreams. The
 first, was writing a utopic/dystopic book. The second,
 was travelling the world and helping the poor and
 homeless. I had been dating my wife for four years by
 then. Young love. She loved my spontaneity, my
 energy, my ability to make people laugh and feel
 loved. I knew my book was going to change the world
 I would show the perspective of the 'bad' and the
 twisted', showing my viewers that everybody thinks
 differently, that people never think what the do is
 wrong. I was 70 pages through when i was 20.I am
 still 70 pages in, at 46. By 20, I had backpacking
 around New Zealand and the Philippines. I planned to
 do all of Asia, then Europe, then America
 To date, I have only been to New Zealand and the
 Philippines.
 Now, we get to where it all went wrong. My biggest
 regrets. I was 20. I was the only child. I needed to be
 stable. I needed to take that graduate job, which
 would dictate my whole life. To devote my entire life
 in a 9-7 job. What was I thinking? How could I live
 when the job was my life? After coming home, I would
 eat dinner, prepare my work for the following day, and
 sleep at 10pm, to wake up at 6am the following day
 God, I can't remember the last time I've made love to
 my wife
 Yesterday, my wife admitted to cheating on me for the
 last 10 years. 10 years. That seems like a long time,
 but i can't comprehend it. It doesn't even hurt. She
 says it's because I've changed. I'm not the person l
 was. What have I been doing in the last 10 years?
 Outside of work, I really can't say anything. Not being a
 proper husband. Not being ME. Who am 1? What
 happened to me? I didn't even ask for a divorce, or yell
 at her, or cry. I felt NOTHING. Now I can feel a tear asl
 write this. But not because my wife has been cheating
 on me, but because I am now realising I have been
 dying inside. What happened to that fun-loving, risk
 taking, energetic person that was me, hungering to
 change the world? I remember being asked on a date
 by the most popular girl in the school, but declining
 her for my now-wife. God, I was really popular with the
 girls in high school. In university/college too. But i
 stayed loyal. I didn't explore. I studied every day
 Remember all that backpacking and book-writingI
 told you about? That was all in the first few years of
 college. I worked part-time and splurged all that I had
 earned. Now, I save every penny. I don't remember a
 time I spend anything on anything fun. On anything for
 myself. What do I even want now?
 My father passed ten years ago. I remember getting
 calls from mom, telling me he was getting sicker and
 sicker. I was getting busier and busier, on the verge of
 a big promotion. I kept putting my visit off, hoping in
 my mind he would hold on. He died, and I got my
 promotion. I haven't seen him in 15 years. When he
 died, I told myself it didn't matter what I didn't see
 him. I rationalized that being dead, it wouldn't matter
 anyway. WHAT WAS I THINKING? Rationalizing
 everything, making excuses to put things off. Excuses
 Procrastination. It all leads to one thing, nothing. I
 rationalized that financial security was the most
 important thingInow know, that it definitely is not. I
 regret doing nothing with my energy, when I had it. My
 passions. My youth. I regret letting my job take over
 my life. I regret being an awful husband, a money-
 making machine. I regret not finishing my novel, not
 travelling the world. Not being emotionally there for
 my son. Being a damn emotionless wallet.
 If you're reading this, and you have a whole life ahead
 of you, please. Don't procrastinate. Don't leave your
 dreams for later. Relish in your energy, your passions.
 Don't stay on the internet with all your spare time
 (unless your passion needs it). Please, do something
 with your life while you're young. DO NOT settle down
 at 20. DO NOT forget your friends, your family
 Yourself. Do NOT waste your life. Your ambitions. Like
 I did mine. Do not be like me
srsfunny:

A Sad But Common Story

srsfunny: A Sad But Common Story

Brains, Girls, and Lazy: icecream-eaterrr I just heard this woman say "you procrastinate because you are afraid of rejection. It's a defense mechanism, you are trying to protect yourself without even trying." and I think I just realized what was wrong with me eupheme-butterfly Yep, this is a very, very common reason for procrastinating. It's also why procrastination, even though it's often associated with laziness, is a fairly common trait in a lot of people with anxiety and perfectionism issues dsudis This idea You're not lazy, you're protecting yourself- hit me really hard while reading, of all things, Emily Nagoski's Come As You Are, which turns out to be as much about how brains work and how relationships work as how orgasms work. In an early part of the book she talks about Fight/Flight/Freeze responses to threats-the example she uses is being attacked by a lion You fight, if you think you can defeat the lion; you run away, if you think you can escape the lion; and when you think there's nothing you can do, when you feel the lion's jaws closing on your neck, you freeze, because dying will hurt less that way. You just stop and go numb and wait for it to be over, because that is the last way to protect any scrap of yourself Later in the book, she talks about the brain process that motivates you to pursue incentives, describing it as a little monitor that gauges your progress toward a goal versus the effort you're expending. If it feels like too little progress is being made you get frustrated, get angry, and, eventually, you.. despair. You stop trying You go numb and wait for it to be over, because that's the only way left to protect yourself. So it occurred to me that these are basically the same thing-when facing a difficult task, where failure feels like a Threat, you can get frustrated and fight it out-INCREASE DOING THE THING until you get where you're going Or you can flee-try to solve the problem some other way than straight on, changing your goal, changing your approach, whatever. Fight or flight But both of those only apply when you think the problem is solvable, right? If the problem isn't solvable, then you freeze. You despair And if you're one of those Smart Kids (Smart Girls, especially) who was praised for being smart so that all tasks in the world came to be divided between Ooh This Is Easy and I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN DO THAT AND IF I FUCK UP I WILL DIE, then... it's pretty easy to see how you lose the frustration/anger stage of working toward a goal, because your brain goes straight to freeze/despair every time. Things are easy and routine or they are straight up impossible So, you know, any time you manage to pull yourself up and give that lion a smack on the nose, or go stumbling away from it instead of just falling down like a fainting goat as soon as you spot it on the horizon, give yourself a gold star from me. Because this is some deeply wired survival-brain stuff. Even if logically you know that that term paper is not a lion, it really is like that sometimes Source: icecream-eaterrr 517,124 notes Procrastination
Brains, Girls, and Lazy: icecream-eaterrr
 I just heard this woman say "you procrastinate
 because you are afraid of rejection. It's a
 defense mechanism, you are trying to protect
 yourself without even trying." and I think I just
 realized what was wrong with me
 eupheme-butterfly
 Yep, this is a very, very common reason for
 procrastinating. It's also why procrastination,
 even though it's often associated with
 laziness, is a fairly common trait in a lot of
 people with anxiety and perfectionism issues
 dsudis
 This idea You're not lazy, you're protecting
 yourself- hit me really hard while reading, of
 all things, Emily Nagoski's Come As You Are,
 which turns out to be as much about how
 brains work and how relationships work as
 how orgasms work.
 In an early part of the book she talks about
 Fight/Flight/Freeze responses to threats-the
 example she uses is being attacked by a lion
 You fight, if you think you can defeat the lion;
 you run away, if you think you can escape the
 lion; and when you think there's nothing you
 can do, when you feel the lion's jaws closing
 on your neck, you freeze, because dying will
 hurt less that way. You just stop and go numb
 and wait for it to be over, because that is the
 last way to protect any scrap of yourself
 Later in the book, she talks about the brain
 process that motivates you to pursue
 incentives, describing it as a little monitor
 that gauges your progress toward a goal
 versus the effort you're expending. If it feels
 like too little progress is being made you get
 frustrated, get angry, and, eventually, you..
 despair. You stop trying
 You go numb and wait for it to be over,
 because that's the only way left to protect
 yourself.
 So it occurred to me that these are basically
 the same thing-when facing a difficult task,
 where failure feels like a Threat, you can get
 frustrated and fight it out-INCREASE DOING
 THE THING until you get where you're going
 Or you can flee-try to solve the problem some
 other way than straight on, changing your
 goal, changing your approach, whatever. Fight
 or flight
 But both of those only apply when you think
 the problem is solvable, right? If the problem
 isn't solvable, then you freeze. You despair
 And if you're one of those Smart Kids (Smart
 Girls, especially) who was praised for being
 smart so that all tasks in the world came to
 be divided between Ooh This Is Easy and I
 DON'T KNOW IF I CAN DO THAT AND IF I
 FUCK UP I WILL DIE, then... it's pretty easy
 to see how you lose the frustration/anger
 stage of working toward a goal, because your
 brain goes straight to freeze/despair every
 time. Things are easy and routine or they are
 straight up impossible
 So, you know, any time you manage to pull
 yourself up and give that lion a smack on the
 nose, or go stumbling away from it instead of
 just falling down like a fainting goat as soon
 as you spot it on the horizon, give yourself
 a gold star from me. Because this is some
 deeply wired survival-brain stuff. Even if
 logically you know that that term paper is not
 a lion, it really is like that sometimes
 Source: icecream-eaterrr
 517,124 notes
Procrastination

Procrastination

9gag, Memes, and Time: ok! Time 2 jor* 0 0 @doodles presents: Feeling offended cuz I’m supposed to be working now. By @ketnipz - doodles procrastination 9gag
9gag, Memes, and Time: ok!
 Time 2 jor*
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@doodles presents: Feeling offended cuz I’m supposed to be working now. By @ketnipz - doodles procrastination 9gag

@doodles presents: Feeling offended cuz I’m supposed to be working now. By @ketnipz - doodles procrastination 9gag

9gag, Memes, and Time: googlethegolden | IG 9 9 ME its that time of the semester again - 📸@googlethegolden - goldenretriever procrastination 9gag
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 9
 9
 ME
its that time of the semester again - 📸@googlethegolden - goldenretriever procrastination 9gag

its that time of the semester again - 📸@googlethegolden - goldenretriever procrastination 9gag