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![God, Lol, and Reddit: - lolpenisbot -1 points 26 minutes ago
lol penis
permalink save parent report give gold reply
- lolpenisbot -1 points 25 minutes ago
lol penis
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] lolpenisbot -1 points 24 minutes ago
lol penis
permalink save parent report give gold reply
lolpenisbot-1 points 24 minutes ago
lol penis
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[- lolpenisbot-1 points 23 minutes ago
lol penis
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perkwunos:
fawnbro:
some idiot on reddit made a bot that replies to every comment that uses the word penis with ‘lol penis’ and didn’t realise it would also pick up on its own comments
How God made our world](https://pics.awwmemes.com/lolpenisbot-1-points-26-minutes-ago-lol-penis-permalink-63008545.png)
![Movies, Ted, and The Matrix: What 3 movies with similar titles make the most confusing trilogy?
4251
submitted 9 hours ago by Navae26
3333 comments source share save hide give gold report hide all child comments
4302 points 9 hours ago
[] upboats_toleleft
The 5th Estate
51st State
50 First Dates
4166 points 9 hours ago
-workingtimeaccount
The Matrix
The Matrix Reloaded
The Matrix Revolutions
[- molten_ferret
5505 points 9 hours ago
Order Should be...
Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure
Kill Bill
Ted
564 points 8 hours ago
[-] Leiderdor
Blow
Mary Poppins
Up!](https://pics.awwmemes.com/what-3-movies-with-similar-titles-make-the-most-confusing-61863400.png)
![Cats, Chicago, and Clock: The Independent
@Independent
Here's what you should do in the
event of a nuclear attack ind.pn/
2piOhjW
8/9/17, 3:19 PM
NBC News
@NBCNews
NBC NEWS
"Don't run. Get inside". What experts
say to do in case of a nuclear attack
nbcnews.to/2VNWTmt
8/9/17, 9:30 AM
CN
CNN
@CNN
Hawaii is preparing in case of a North
Korea attack. Experts say you have
about 15 min. to take cover after a
launch cnn.it/2upXdZ9
taraljc:
lemonsharks:
nikkoliferous:
biggest-goldiest-spoon:
zoanzon:
missmwynter:
madlyinlov3onda:
oakenroots:
oakenroots:
quietrain:
shesheistyy:
tripprophet:
weavemama:
ladies and gentlemen we have officially reached the “in case a nuclear attack happens” phase……. [x]
This shit is wild.
Wtf a table finna do for anybody?? There’s basically nothing you can do but die
they’re doing this to give people a sense of safety , even though we full well know this won’t work at all.
ALRIGHT KIDDOS LISTEN UP! I did emergency management for the air force which involves this fun thing called Plume Modelling (aka chart the path of death for a given bomb based on its payload, distance, type of detonation, etc) and let me tell you some actual LEGIT™ methods of minimizing damage to your life.
Unless you are within the vaporization zone (where you turn into a fucking shadow because of your proximity to the blast) there is a specific order of events nuke blasts cause and there are ways to protect against these things.
1. There is this thing called a flash to bang ratio. It is really freaking important. The first wave from a nuke is a blinding flash of light that can literally FRY YOUR RETINAS. If you believe that a nuke has just dropped on your city, HIDE AND DONT LOOK AT IT. @shesheistyy a good solid table is good for this but you’re way less likely to go blind if you get to an internal room with no windows, especially one below ground.
2. After the flash there will be the bang. If the time between the flash and the bang, counted in Mississippi seconds, is more than 10 seconds you MIGHT survive and just die of cancer later. If it’s between five and 10 buckle up kiddos because the worst is yet to come. And well if it’s less than 3 you won’t live long enough to remember this. These are loose estimates only.
3. The “bang” usually announces the arrival of the fire ball. Yes. A massive heat shock will erupt from the core of the bomb and light pretty much every thing it comes into contact with, including your flesh, on fire. Back to that whole “metal buildings underground” thing. There’s really no getting around the whole getting lit on fire if you’re too close thing.
4. Fallout. When the bomb goes off it sucks all of the shit it just vaporized up into the air with it and as the blast cools, it begins to rain down the radioactive fucked molten wreckage onto everyone in a huge radius. Just because the fallout you can see has stopped doesn’t mean the molecular radiation has stopped.
The survival factors for nuclear blasts are time, distance and shielding. The longer it takes for it to get to you the less of it there is. The further away from the source the less dead you are. Want to survive? Put 6 feet of concrete and/or 2 feet of lead between you and everything else. Yes. Those loons with their bunkers actually got something right.
NOW! About radiation! If you are so fortunate as to survive one of these blasts and not be vaporized or burnt to a crisp or die of radiation poisoning within hours, you need to understand the types of radiation.
Gamma radiation is the most “severe” in that it can penetrate your flesh through your clothes and house, causing severe illness. Gamma radiation fucks with your cell walls and disrupts your DNA. It kills you in hours, months or years. Some people survive decades. Think of gamma like the sun. Too much exposure gives you cancer.
Now Beta, on the other hand, think of Beta particles like sand on the beach. Its in the air. Its in your clothes, in the creases of your fingers. But beta particles can burn through your flesh or get into your blood stream through open wounds. Luckily they can be stopped with nonporous materials, like rubber, or foil. Make that two points for the loony conspiracy theorists. Aluminum foil does protect from beta radiation.
And finally, Alpha radiation. Think of alpha Radiation like dust motes. It takes a high density filter to prevent you from breathing them in and if you’re surrounded by rubble they’re probably everywhere. Alpha particles do the same thing as beta particles in terms of getting into your system and wrecking your shit.
So! Survival? Most likely based on dumb luck. But! If you think you’re being nuked
1. get under ground or at least to an internal room of the building if no other options are available.
2. CLOSE YOUR EYES. Curl into the fetal position to protect your orifices and vital organs from gamma radiation and get low to the ground to reduce damage from the blast and potential ceiling collapse.
3.You will still feel the flash pass over you. Count. One, two, three… If you aren’t vaporized yet keep counting. Pray to every god ever imagined that you get to 10 before you hear the bang.
4. Bang. Try not to shit yourself. The fireball will follow almost instantly if you’re in range. Be prepared to start rolling to put yourself out.
5. Fallout rains down. Do not open your eyes. Do not stop praying. As hard as it is because time will feel as if it has slowed to a crawl, try not to leave your position for at least 30 minutes, although 60 minutes is better. At 30 minutes, only 60% of the potential fall out has fallen but by 60 minutes, up to 90% may have come down.
6. Remember, Alpha and beta radiation are particles. Do not put anything in your body that has not been thoroughly washed, dusted of or came from a sealed package. Point 3 for the conspiracy theorists, hot pockets and canned food are probably still safe. Do not leave shelter without goggles, and try to wrap yourself in a minimum of those weird space blankets but rubber and metal lined suits (like hazmat suits) are best for the job.
Good luck in the future apocalypse!
Reblogged with improved readability!
Look whats Relevant again…
I wonder if there’s any where to watch White Light, Black Rain. Saw it back in highschool.
History repeats and all that jazz.
After all, It’s not like ‘duck and cover’ and other nuclear protection methods of dubious quality weren’t a mainstream in the Cold War or anything…
We’ve been here before.
It’s just the first time around for us younger crowd.
Stay safe.
Reminder that according to the Doomsday Clock, we are currently at greater threat of nuclear annihilation than we were even at the height of the Cold War.
Nukemap for “how far from ground zero must I be to survive this”
https://nuclearsecrecy.com/nukemap/
Like… Manhattan might be toast but that doesn’t mean the citizens of Long Island shouldn’t know how to mitigate their terrible fuckin situation just because Manhattan is toast.
If downtown Chicago is at the center of a nuclear bombing when I’m at work I’m dead, but if I’m home I have a chance to shelter in place and then bag up the cats and go crash with friends in Wisconsin.
And also how absofuckinglutely horrifying is it that we need to know this shit?
very absofuckingluteky horrifying](https://pics.awwmemes.com/the-independent-independent-heres-what-you-should-do-in-the-61658096.png)
