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        šŸ”„ | Latest
    

    
    

        

        
        

            

                







    Plans: lemonsgivelife:
debthestoner:

rrdcooc:

addakax:

mysticalalleycat:

politicalcdnmama:

theresagooseinthemainframe:

0-memento-mori-0:

justaplate:

claydart:

starlitskyes:

frosttrix:

extremedistressorstellarblowjob:

queen-of-heck:


brightoncemore:

todayiwrotenothing:

gay-jesus-probably:

solongstarbird:

akamine-chan:

phantomofthebookstore:

dragonastra:

jasperzilla:

moose-shampoo:
if youā€™ve ever wondered what itā€™s like to live in the midwest, this is it.Ā 

You missed some of the best ones 

the best part about it is that the art installation isnā€™t actually called the Bean. Itā€™s called Cloud Gate, and artist Anish Kapoor (yes, THAT Anish Kapoor) hates that we call it the Bean.
But i mean, look at it. Itā€™s a bean.


How could you forget this one though


I HAD NO FUCKING IDEA THAT THE BEAN WAS CREATED BY ANISH KAPOOR.

someone help me why is anish kapoor important what did he do?

Alright sit down for some Art World Drama bcause this is what I live for.
So, sometime last year (?) science invented Vantablack, which is the darkest possible shade of black. Art world got incredibly excited. But as it needs to be very carefully made in a lab, itā€™s hard to get a hold of, and is extremely expensive. Enter Anish Kapoor, aka FuckFace McGee. Anish Kapoor buys the rights to Vantablack. He is the only human being on the planet that can legally use it, and heā€™s kind of a prick about it.
Art world is not thrilled with that.
Enter Stuart Semple.
Stuart Semple is an artist, and also makes pigments to sell in his free time. Stuart Semple is astoundingly pissed about this Vantablack nonsense, and Anish Kapoorā€™s dickery. Stuart Semple makes a new pigment, the brightest shade of pink ever, called Pinkest Pink, and puts it for sale on the internet. To be bought by everybody except Anish Kapoor. Literally, to purchase, you need to confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, do not associate with him, and will not sell or give the pigment to Anish Kapoor or his associates. Art world has a good laugh, everyone buys Pinkest Pink because itā€™s awesome, and damn it we deserve something.
Anish Kapoor however is a penis, and will not take this lying down, because HOW DARE he not have literally everything.
Anish Kapoor gets his London associates to buy him a thing of Pinkest Pink, and being such a classy human being, posts a picture to instagram of him with his middle finger covered in Pinkest Pink, captioned withĀ ā€œUp yours. #pinkā€
Everyone flips shit, because. Yā€™know. Fuck that guy. Especially Stuart Semple. For context here, Anish Kapoor is one of the richest artists on the planet, and has repeatedly been referred to as everything wrong with the art world, and the epitome of the art worlds elitism problem. Heā€™s a giant douchebag. Meanwhile Stuart Semple makes pigments just to get them out there. He turns 0 profit from his now enourmously popular pigments.
Stuart Semple launches an investigation as to who the fuck leaked Pinkest Pink, and plans to strike back. He does so by releasing two new products. First is Diamond Dust, which is a glitter made from glass, so that a painting is still visible after itā€™s applied, but glitters like a mofo. Itā€™s the most reflective glitter out there, and is available to everyone who isnā€™t Anish Kapoor. And it being made of glass, if you stick your finger in there, itā€™s going to hurt quite a bit, so that was Stuart Sempleā€™s way of sayingĀ ā€œshove your middle finger in this, asshole, see what happensā€. Except without saying that, because he can get an insult across while still being fucking classy.
He also releases Black 2.0, created with the help of over a thousand artists worldwide.
Black 2.0 is the answer to Vantablack. Black 2.0 is a slightly less black black, but looks functionally the same to the human eye. Itā€™s completely safe, smells like cherries, and costs four pounds. Vantablack is highly toxic, potentially explosive, needs to be applied in a special laboratory and sealed properly, canā€™t be moved across borders, can reach 300 degrees celsius if youā€™re not extremely careful, and costs thousands of dollars. Anish Kapoor is the only human being who can use Vantablack. He is the only human being who cannot use Black 2.0.
So I think we can guess who got the better deal.
And thus the feud ends, Kapoor defeated.
ā€¦But not quite.
Kapoor, in this entire afair, has made exactly two comments to the public. The first being his charming message about aquiring Pinkest Pink, the second being claiming to Buzzfeed that he and his small army of lawyers will be suing Semple, an extremely poor artist who cannot afford a lawyer.
No lawsuit has been made yet, fyi.
The point is, Kapoor is a prick, and doesnā€™t like talking to the lower classes. So one day in July 2017, he decides he needs another floor on his London studio apartment, and starts making arrangements to have it built. His neighbors are fucking pissed, because this will ruin the light of their apartments. They call to Semple to save them, or at the very least piss Kapoor off some more.
Semple answers to the call, and releases two new paints, Phaze and Shift, as always, banned to Kapoor. They change colours, Phaze with temperature, and Shift is just iridescent. Shift needs to be painted over Black 2.0 to work, and Phaze just works on its own.
So thatā€™s been the art world for the last two years.
Basically, get fucked Anish Kapoor your bean sucks and so does your vantablack.

Stuart Semple is organising a bean-kissing event for Anish Kapoorā€™s birthday.


Reblogging for ā€œBy attending this event you confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, you are in no way affiliated with Anish Kapoor, you are not attending on behalf of Anish Kapoor or an associate of Anish Kapoor. To the best of your knowledge, information, and belief this event will not be attended by Anish Kapoor.ā€


ALSO HE JUST POSTED THIS!!!!!! LIGHTEST LIGHT!


I know this isnā€™t my art blog but this entire post gives me life 

im sorry is that man holding a real actual miniature star in his hands

Yā€™all missed the best part about the lightest light, called aptlyĀ ā€˜Litā€™. This is from their product page:

Two things:
1.Ā ā€œAnish Kapoor is however a penisā€ is the best line in this post.
2. I wish to be half as petty and half as awesome as Stuart Semple


I hope Stuart Semple is making a lot of money. What a good person.

Go support him the paintā€™s are pretty cheap and you get the added bonus of being one of many to help piss off Anish Kapoor


He is my fucking role model for pettiness oh my god 


It got better! Iā€™m also excited because he just released biodegradable glitter in non plastic containers! How amazing is that?! Stuart Semple, good guy for the planet and artists, fighter against the rich elite artist like asshole Kapoor.


An older project, but he also did this:
(x)

oh dude hes metal as fuckĀ 

Every addition to this post is better than the last.


Me, being gay and having my blood drawn: soā€¦what do you need my blood for again?
Stuart Semple: gonna make an anti-government t-shirt with it.
Me:
Me: :)



Be a Stuart Semple in 2020. Use your petty to inspire and drive you.

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Plans: lemonsgivelife:
debthestoner:

rrdcooc:

addakax:

mysticalalleycat:

politicalcdnmama:

theresagooseinthemainframe:

0-memento-mori-0:

justaplate:

claydart:

starlitskyes:

frosttrix:

extremedistressorstellarblowjob:

queen-of-heck:


brightoncemore:

todayiwrotenothing:

gay-jesus-probably:

solongstarbird:

akamine-chan:

phantomofthebookstore:

dragonastra:

jasperzilla:

moose-shampoo:
if youā€™ve ever wondered what itā€™s like to live in the midwest, this is it.Ā 

You missed some of the best ones 

the best part about it is that the art installation isnā€™t actually called the Bean. Itā€™s called Cloud Gate, and artist Anish Kapoor (yes, THAT Anish Kapoor) hates that we call it the Bean.
But i mean, look at it. Itā€™s a bean.


How could you forget this one though


I HAD NO FUCKING IDEA THAT THE BEAN WAS CREATED BY ANISH KAPOOR.

someone help me why is anish kapoor important what did he do?

Alright sit down for some Art World Drama bcause this is what I live for.
So, sometime last year (?) science invented Vantablack, which is the darkest possible shade of black. Art world got incredibly excited. But as it needs to be very carefully made in a lab, itā€™s hard to get a hold of, and is extremely expensive. Enter Anish Kapoor, aka FuckFace McGee. Anish Kapoor buys the rights to Vantablack. He is the only human being on the planet that can legally use it, and heā€™s kind of a prick about it.
Art world is not thrilled with that.
Enter Stuart Semple.
Stuart Semple is an artist, and also makes pigments to sell in his free time. Stuart Semple is astoundingly pissed about this Vantablack nonsense, and Anish Kapoorā€™s dickery. Stuart Semple makes a new pigment, the brightest shade of pink ever, called Pinkest Pink, and puts it for sale on the internet. To be bought by everybody except Anish Kapoor. Literally, to purchase, you need to confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, do not associate with him, and will not sell or give the pigment to Anish Kapoor or his associates. Art world has a good laugh, everyone buys Pinkest Pink because itā€™s awesome, and damn it we deserve something.
Anish Kapoor however is a penis, and will not take this lying down, because HOW DARE he not have literally everything.
Anish Kapoor gets his London associates to buy him a thing of Pinkest Pink, and being such a classy human being, posts a picture to instagram of him with his middle finger covered in Pinkest Pink, captioned withĀ ā€œUp yours. #pinkā€
Everyone flips shit, because. Yā€™know. Fuck that guy. Especially Stuart Semple. For context here, Anish Kapoor is one of the richest artists on the planet, and has repeatedly been referred to as everything wrong with the art world, and the epitome of the art worlds elitism problem. Heā€™s a giant douchebag. Meanwhile Stuart Semple makes pigments just to get them out there. He turns 0 profit from his now enourmously popular pigments.
Stuart Semple launches an investigation as to who the fuck leaked Pinkest Pink, and plans to strike back. He does so by releasing two new products. First is Diamond Dust, which is a glitter made from glass, so that a painting is still visible after itā€™s applied, but glitters like a mofo. Itā€™s the most reflective glitter out there, and is available to everyone who isnā€™t Anish Kapoor. And it being made of glass, if you stick your finger in there, itā€™s going to hurt quite a bit, so that was Stuart Sempleā€™s way of sayingĀ ā€œshove your middle finger in this, asshole, see what happensā€. Except without saying that, because he can get an insult across while still being fucking classy.
He also releases Black 2.0, created with the help of over a thousand artists worldwide.
Black 2.0 is the answer to Vantablack. Black 2.0 is a slightly less black black, but looks functionally the same to the human eye. Itā€™s completely safe, smells like cherries, and costs four pounds. Vantablack is highly toxic, potentially explosive, needs to be applied in a special laboratory and sealed properly, canā€™t be moved across borders, can reach 300 degrees celsius if youā€™re not extremely careful, and costs thousands of dollars. Anish Kapoor is the only human being who can use Vantablack. He is the only human being who cannot use Black 2.0.
So I think we can guess who got the better deal.
And thus the feud ends, Kapoor defeated.
ā€¦But not quite.
Kapoor, in this entire afair, has made exactly two comments to the public. The first being his charming message about aquiring Pinkest Pink, the second being claiming to Buzzfeed that he and his small army of lawyers will be suing Semple, an extremely poor artist who cannot afford a lawyer.
No lawsuit has been made yet, fyi.
The point is, Kapoor is a prick, and doesnā€™t like talking to the lower classes. So one day in July 2017, he decides he needs another floor on his London studio apartment, and starts making arrangements to have it built. His neighbors are fucking pissed, because this will ruin the light of their apartments. They call to Semple to save them, or at the very least piss Kapoor off some more.
Semple answers to the call, and releases two new paints, Phaze and Shift, as always, banned to Kapoor. They change colours, Phaze with temperature, and Shift is just iridescent. Shift needs to be painted over Black 2.0 to work, and Phaze just works on its own.
So thatā€™s been the art world for the last two years.
Basically, get fucked Anish Kapoor your bean sucks and so does your vantablack.

Stuart Semple is organising a bean-kissing event for Anish Kapoorā€™s birthday.


Reblogging for ā€œBy attending this event you confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, you are in no way affiliated with Anish Kapoor, you are not attending on behalf of Anish Kapoor or an associate of Anish Kapoor. To the best of your knowledge, information, and belief this event will not be attended by Anish Kapoor.ā€


ALSO HE JUST POSTED THIS!!!!!! LIGHTEST LIGHT!


I know this isnā€™t my art blog but this entire post gives me life 

im sorry is that man holding a real actual miniature star in his hands

Yā€™all missed the best part about the lightest light, called aptlyĀ ā€˜Litā€™. This is from their product page:

Two things:
1.Ā ā€œAnish Kapoor is however a penisā€ is the best line in this post.
2. I wish to be half as petty and half as awesome as Stuart Semple


I hope Stuart Semple is making a lot of money. What a good person.

Go support him the paintā€™s are pretty cheap and you get the added bonus of being one of many to help piss off Anish Kapoor


He is my fucking role model for pettiness oh my god 


It got better! Iā€™m also excited because he just released biodegradable glitter in non plastic containers! How amazing is that?! Stuart Semple, good guy for the planet and artists, fighter against the rich elite artist like asshole Kapoor.


An older project, but he also did this:
(x)

oh dude hes metal as fuckĀ 

Every addition to this post is better than the last.


Me, being gay and having my blood drawn: soā€¦what do you need my blood for again?
Stuart Semple: gonna make an anti-government t-shirt with it.
Me:
Me: :)



Be a Stuart Semple in 2020. Use your petty to inspire and drive you.

                
            

            
            
lemonsgivelife:
debthestoner:

rrdcooc:

addakax:

mysticalalleycat:

politicalcdnmama:

theresagooseinthemainframe:

0-memento-mori-0:...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    Plans: Me telling my friends I have big plans for the weekend so I can work out in peace instead of partying.  Gymaholic App: https://www.gymaholic.co  #fitness #motivation #meme #workout #gymaholic
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Plans: Me telling my friends I have big plans for the weekend so I can work out in peace instead of partying.  Gymaholic App: https://www.gymaholic.co  #fitness #motivation #meme #workout #gymaholic
                
            

            
            
Me telling my friends I have big plans for the weekend so I can work out in peace instead of partying.  Gymaholic App: https://www.gymaho...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Plans: So You're Confronting Your Own Mortality
 or
 Preparing for the End
 or
 Some Dipshit Up and Died and Now I'm
 Stuck Dealing With This Mess
ms-demeanor:

ms-demeanor:
ms-demeanor:


jhinnua:

ms-demeanor:

Hey you know how I said I was going to make a workbook on the kind of bullshit you need to do when someone you love dies? I actually did that.
HERE IS THE VERSION WITH LOTS OF SWEARING AT THE USELESS, SHITTY SITUATION YOUā€™RE IN.
HERE IS THE VERSION WITH A FAIR AMOUNT OF BLACK HUMOR BUT NO CURSEWORDS.
Featuring Helpful Sections such as: 
Death Certificates ā€“ What you need, why you need them, and
how to get them
Prepare to spend a long and miserable time on the phone
What the Everloving Fuck is Probate
Some Simple Dos and Donā€™ts
Shitty Mad Libs ā€“ Templates for writing Obituaries and
Memorials
How to plan a non-religious death party
So you suddenly have to become some sort of hacker or some
shit

This is an eighteen page book that you can print out, download, share, and give away; it is meant to be used to collect information about funeral planning and account management after a death OR you can use it BEFORE you die and give people information so theyā€™re not stuck playing Nancy Fucking Drew while trying to keep seventeen cousins who crawled out of the woodwork from gutting each other in front of the fucking casket as they argue about whoā€™s inheriting grandmaā€™s favorite dentures. 
Itā€™s not exactly cheerful and itā€™s full of things that are probably going to feel really fucking raw if youā€™re processing a fresh death.
Iā€™m sorry! I love you! Death is shitty! Iā€™m trying to laugh about it a little and I hope you can laugh a little too because otherwise weā€™re all just going to cry together.
Good luck!
(in memory of my weirdo mother and her weirdo siblings who all died too fucking young and left me holding this flaming bag of dogshit)


@ms-demeanor Tumblr wont let me message you privately, so is it ok if I share this to my FB page? The business I am in wants information like this to be public knowledge, but itā€™s still a business so I donā€™t want to post without permission.

YES, please share it!
And actually facebook blocks links to my blog for some reason so I have no problem with you just straight-up copy/pasting the PDF links! Credit me if you want (ā€@ms-demeanor on tumblrā€ is fine) but you donā€™t even have to. Just share it and spread it I want people to have an easier time of things! Iā€™m universallyĀ  OK if people share these links so long as youā€™re not selling the booklet. Iā€™m actually even okay if someone prints up a bunch of these and hands them out so long as theyā€™re handed out for free. 


Also I want to make this point: I was very lucky. I had talked to my mom about her death plans and she and my dad have had their cremations planned and paid for for 25 years (Neptune Society baybee). I got lucky, we had talked about a book like this and she had started writing down passwords. I got lucky, she never took my advice about putting a passcode on her phone. 
But things were still harder than they needed to be. Weā€™d talked about a death planning workbook because Iā€™d found one on Amazon and we both thought it would be a good idea to fill it out because she was sick. 
I just never scrounged together $26.00 in the time between when we talked about it and when she died.
You know whatā€™s better than regretting that you couldnā€™t afford a death workbook? A FREE DEATH WORKBOOK.
I mean, I donā€™t begrudge the authors of other death books their pay. Iā€™m sure the other books are more comprehensive than mine and maybe some of them do a decent job of explaining probate.
But death is expensive and living ainā€™t cheap.
This is free explicitly because there are tons of people (though certainly not everyone involved) who will bypass compassion in order to profit off of the death industry and I want you to have at least this one thing thatā€™s there for you free, as a gift, as something given to you for the sole purpose of making this easier on you in a time when every step is going to be expensive and difficult. 
This is free, no charge. All I ask is that, if possible, you share it with someone else who needs it and that you tell somebody you love that you love them. 

Hey all if youā€™re new here because of the firefox post or the browser wars post or the bastardous positivity post please consider downloading the free book I made about what to do when someone dies because you know what this is sad and shit but things are going to be much easier for you if you know the level of bullshit youā€™re going to be dealing with. 
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Plans: So You're Confronting Your Own Mortality
 or
 Preparing for the End
 or
 Some Dipshit Up and Died and Now I'm
 Stuck Dealing With This Mess
ms-demeanor:

ms-demeanor:
ms-demeanor:


jhinnua:

ms-demeanor:

Hey you know how I said I was going to make a workbook on the kind of bullshit you need to do when someone you love dies? I actually did that.
HERE IS THE VERSION WITH LOTS OF SWEARING AT THE USELESS, SHITTY SITUATION YOUā€™RE IN.
HERE IS THE VERSION WITH A FAIR AMOUNT OF BLACK HUMOR BUT NO CURSEWORDS.
Featuring Helpful Sections such as: 
Death Certificates ā€“ What you need, why you need them, and
how to get them
Prepare to spend a long and miserable time on the phone
What the Everloving Fuck is Probate
Some Simple Dos and Donā€™ts
Shitty Mad Libs ā€“ Templates for writing Obituaries and
Memorials
How to plan a non-religious death party
So you suddenly have to become some sort of hacker or some
shit

This is an eighteen page book that you can print out, download, share, and give away; it is meant to be used to collect information about funeral planning and account management after a death OR you can use it BEFORE you die and give people information so theyā€™re not stuck playing Nancy Fucking Drew while trying to keep seventeen cousins who crawled out of the woodwork from gutting each other in front of the fucking casket as they argue about whoā€™s inheriting grandmaā€™s favorite dentures. 
Itā€™s not exactly cheerful and itā€™s full of things that are probably going to feel really fucking raw if youā€™re processing a fresh death.
Iā€™m sorry! I love you! Death is shitty! Iā€™m trying to laugh about it a little and I hope you can laugh a little too because otherwise weā€™re all just going to cry together.
Good luck!
(in memory of my weirdo mother and her weirdo siblings who all died too fucking young and left me holding this flaming bag of dogshit)


@ms-demeanor Tumblr wont let me message you privately, so is it ok if I share this to my FB page? The business I am in wants information like this to be public knowledge, but itā€™s still a business so I donā€™t want to post without permission.

YES, please share it!
And actually facebook blocks links to my blog for some reason so I have no problem with you just straight-up copy/pasting the PDF links! Credit me if you want (ā€@ms-demeanor on tumblrā€ is fine) but you donā€™t even have to. Just share it and spread it I want people to have an easier time of things! Iā€™m universallyĀ  OK if people share these links so long as youā€™re not selling the booklet. Iā€™m actually even okay if someone prints up a bunch of these and hands them out so long as theyā€™re handed out for free. 


Also I want to make this point: I was very lucky. I had talked to my mom about her death plans and she and my dad have had their cremations planned and paid for for 25 years (Neptune Society baybee). I got lucky, we had talked about a book like this and she had started writing down passwords. I got lucky, she never took my advice about putting a passcode on her phone. 
But things were still harder than they needed to be. Weā€™d talked about a death planning workbook because Iā€™d found one on Amazon and we both thought it would be a good idea to fill it out because she was sick. 
I just never scrounged together $26.00 in the time between when we talked about it and when she died.
You know whatā€™s better than regretting that you couldnā€™t afford a death workbook? A FREE DEATH WORKBOOK.
I mean, I donā€™t begrudge the authors of other death books their pay. Iā€™m sure the other books are more comprehensive than mine and maybe some of them do a decent job of explaining probate.
But death is expensive and living ainā€™t cheap.
This is free explicitly because there are tons of people (though certainly not everyone involved) who will bypass compassion in order to profit off of the death industry and I want you to have at least this one thing thatā€™s there for you free, as a gift, as something given to you for the sole purpose of making this easier on you in a time when every step is going to be expensive and difficult. 
This is free, no charge. All I ask is that, if possible, you share it with someone else who needs it and that you tell somebody you love that you love them. 

Hey all if youā€™re new here because of the firefox post or the browser wars post or the bastardous positivity post please consider downloading the free book I made about what to do when someone dies because you know what this is sad and shit but things are going to be much easier for you if you know the level of bullshit youā€™re going to be dealing with. 
                
            

            
            
ms-demeanor:

ms-demeanor:
ms-demeanor:


jhinnua:

ms-demeanor:

Hey you know how I said I was going to make a workbook on the kind of b...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Plans: 5 MINUTES LATER
pulmonary-poultry:

jackhawksmoor:

pitbullmabari:

elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:

boogabeing:

aenramsden:

luna-forever-1:
šŸ˜‚
You have to admire her audacity, if nothing else.

Literally my favourite thing about Rogue One is that it makes the opening of New Hope so funny. Like, Vader has followed Leia from a planet he just blew up seconds ago and pursued her across the galaxy and then sheā€™s just like:Ā ā€˜Iā€™m on a diplomatic mission to Alderaanā€™
Vader: Youā€™re a rebel. I just had a fight with your entire rebel fleet and followed you here. Straight from the rebels. Of which you are a part
Leia: *dramatic gasp* rebel? Me??? Ā I was just passing through. Diplomatically. Thought it was a five-space-ship pile-up or something going on thereā€¦Ā 

death star plans? on my alderaanian diplomatic mission?itā€™s more likely than you think


ok but this is like legitimate Canon Improvement because Iā€™d always wondered why Vader was so wildly furious at the start of the movie likeĀ ā€œrahhhhh bring me the passengers I WANT THEM ALIVE!!!!ā€ and now Iā€™m like
ohh yeah okay they literally JUST blew up Vaderā€™s base, stole his sh!t, and took off while giving him the finger from the window



Leia being a lot more smug than she has any right to be: Iā€™m a member of the Imperial Senate on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan-Vader nearly in tears from frustration: YOU ARE PART OF THE REBEL ALLIANCE AND A TRAITOR TAKE HER AWAY
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Plans: 5 MINUTES LATER
pulmonary-poultry:

jackhawksmoor:

pitbullmabari:

elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:

boogabeing:

aenramsden:

luna-forever-1:
šŸ˜‚
You have to admire her audacity, if nothing else.

Literally my favourite thing about Rogue One is that it makes the opening of New Hope so funny. Like, Vader has followed Leia from a planet he just blew up seconds ago and pursued her across the galaxy and then sheā€™s just like:Ā ā€˜Iā€™m on a diplomatic mission to Alderaanā€™
Vader: Youā€™re a rebel. I just had a fight with your entire rebel fleet and followed you here. Straight from the rebels. Of which you are a part
Leia: *dramatic gasp* rebel? Me??? Ā I was just passing through. Diplomatically. Thought it was a five-space-ship pile-up or something going on thereā€¦Ā 

death star plans? on my alderaanian diplomatic mission?itā€™s more likely than you think


ok but this is like legitimate Canon Improvement because Iā€™d always wondered why Vader was so wildly furious at the start of the movie likeĀ ā€œrahhhhh bring me the passengers I WANT THEM ALIVE!!!!ā€ and now Iā€™m like
ohh yeah okay they literally JUST blew up Vaderā€™s base, stole his sh!t, and took off while giving him the finger from the window



Leia being a lot more smug than she has any right to be: Iā€™m a member of the Imperial Senate on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan-Vader nearly in tears from frustration: YOU ARE PART OF THE REBEL ALLIANCE AND A TRAITOR TAKE HER AWAY
                
            

            
            
pulmonary-poultry:

jackhawksmoor:

pitbullmabari:

elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:

boogabeing:

aenramsden:

luna-forever-1:
šŸ˜‚
You have...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Plans: Saving Your Grades From
 A Mental Health Crisis
 What To Do Before, During, And After
 by SmartStudy.tumblr.com

 IF YOUR GRADES ARE IN IMMEDIATE DANGER
 CONTACT YOUR TEACHERS
 This should be the first thing you do when you realise you're in crisis. Email them, and explain your
 situation in short, professional terms. You do not have to include details about your condition. "I have
 a mental health condition" should suffice as to the nature of the issue.
 Tell them that you are going to arrange to see a medical professional as soon as possible, and ask what
 process you should go through to defer/get an extension on assessment, and if they can help you in
 any way.
 Other people you may have to contact or CC in the email (depending on your school):
 University
 High School
 Head of House
 Class Coordinator
 Faculty/School Admin
 Disability Advisor
 Grade Coordinator
 Head of Department
 Academic Admin
 Counsellor
 School Counsellor
 Student Advocate
 BOOK A DOCTOR/THERAPIST APPOINTMENT ASAP
 This will be the person who can vouch for you the most. It's best if you have seen them before and
 they know you. If you can't get an appointment within a few days, call them and email them (if you
 haven't seen them before this will not work). Make sure to check out what counselling your university
 or school offers.
 During this appointment, the priority is to make a plan to get you back on your feet. This effort will
 not be useful if you stay a mess. Once you've figured that out, get two things from this person. One is
 a medical certificate/letter stating that you have, in fact, been going through this crisis. Second is a
 letter that describes the nature of the crisis, what treatment you're going through, and which people
 to contact (psychiatrists, etc.) who can vouch for this.
 Note: The reason I say to get two letters is because there is still a huge stigma around mental illness,
 and you don't want to reveal that you've got a disorder that's highly stigmatised, only to have it come
 back and bite you in the ass later. Don't provide details unless it's necessary or asked for.
 A STUDENT
 KNOW YOUR RIGHTS AS
 Most schools and institutions will have a list of a student's rights and responsibilities online. Look them
 up. Know what your rights are as a student. Also look to see if there are state/national laws protecting
 you, or if your school is a part of a network of schools that has its own code. Some people working in
 schools still think mental health issues are trivial, and you never know when they're going to ignore a
 rule to suit themselves. Make sure you can pick on this if it happens to you.
 Pretty much all schools will have protection in place for students with mental illnesses and disabilities,
 so even if you a miss a deadline for a form or make another mistake, they should take your exceptional
 circumstances into account. This is where a student or disability advisor from school can help you.
 ottom

 IF YOU HAVEN'T REACHED CRISIS YET
 TALK TO A DOCTOR/THERAPIST/COUNSELLOR/TRUSTED ADULT
 If you're going through a hard time, talk to someone who can help you. Any trusted adult or
 professional can help you get back on your feet before it's too late, or refer you to someone who can.
 If it's a new issue, you'll have to see someone like a GP who can refer you to a therapist or mental
 health service.
 Talk to them about what's been happening, and say that you need help. Sometimes, even talking
 about the problem can help you feel better. In these situations, they can also help you figure out what
 you can do at school to catch up/get special help.
 FIGURE OUT HOW TO STUDY WHILE IN A BAD STATE
 Even if you're getting help, it might be some time before you're fully back on track. In these instances,
 try to make the best of a bad situation.
 Can't leave the house? Access lecture recordings and eBooks. Ask your friends to send you their notes,
 or ask the teacher if you can submit your homework via email, or through a friend. Have trouble
 concentrating? Figure out how long you can study without needing a break, and make a schedule
 around that.
 Always make sure to ask your teachers if they can help you with this. Whether it be slightly changing
 the requirements or conditions of a piece of assessment, or simply their understanding that you may
 not be able to attend perfectly, it can make a big difference with your overall marks. If they don't know
 you're struggling, they can't help!
 DON'T PUSH YOURSELF OR OVERTHINK
 When you realise there's an issue, it's easy to fall into panic or try to power through. Don't do this. It'll
 just make you more stressed and aggravate the existing problems, which will make things much worse
 in the long run.
 Though it's hard to believe sometimes, your health and mental health are more important than your
 grades. You can't ignore your mind when it's screaming at you that something is wrong. Listen to it,
 and be easy on yourself.
 The best way to get back to your full potential to ask for help and give yourself what you need. Take a
 break when you need one and practise self-care. It's more important than you might things.

 RECOVERING FROM A BREAKDOWN
 ACCEPT THAT YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH SOMETHING MAJOR
 Once the worst has passed, some people try to brush it off and pretend it never happened. They can
 feel ashamed or embarrassed about what they went through. However, there is absolutely nothing to
 be ashamed or embarrassed about, especially if you had a pre-existing mental health condition. Every
 life has ups and downs and just because yours were a bit more serious than some people's, it doesn't
 mean that you're weak somehow.
 The best thing you can do for yourself is to recognise what happened, and work to prevent it from
 happening again by setting up crisis plans and support networks.
 GET TUTORING TO CATCH UP
 If you've fallen behind, don't worry. There are plenty of ways to catch yourself up and get back on
 track. The best way is to hire a tutor. They can guide you through the work, help you understand
 difficult concepts, and identify the places you need more help.
 Yes, tutors can be expensive, but there's a way to get around this. See if there is anyone who took
 your class the year before who might be willing to tutor you for an hour each week for a discounted
 prince. Similarly, see if there are any students who can help you in exchange for something like
 instrument lessons. And if any of your friends are academically gifted, I'm sure they'd be able to help.
 If all else fails, go to office hours and any free tutoring sessions your school or university offers. Do
 some research, ask around, see what's there.
 PACE YOURSELF AND DON'T RUSH IN
 After a breakdown or crisis, you may be tempted to throw yourself back into your work to catch up.
 Don't! You'll become overwhelmed and end up back at square one. Remember, you've just been
 through a very difficult situation and you're not going to get better overnight.
 Ease yourself in. I definitely recommend starting with a reduced or part-time study load if possible.
 Remember that you may not be back at your full capacity just yet, and difficulties concentrating and
 being motivated could make things hard. By starting off slowly, you're able to get used to studying
 again without too much pressure.
 DEVELOP A ROUTINE
 Yes, this advice is in every piece of study advice ever, but you shouldn't develop just any routine.
 Develop one that allows you plenty of breaks and takes into consider any issues you may have with
 fatigue or focusing. If your breakdown was caused by overwork, make sure this one is easier on you.
 Things to include you could include in a healthy routine (but don't micromanage!):
 "I feel crap" time*
 Breaks and meals
 Plenty of sleep and rest
 "You" time (treat yo self)
 Time to plan for the next week
 Exercise (have you tried yoga? Kidding)
 Meditation/mindfulness
 Friend/family social time
 * Remember that the thoughts and feelings caused by mental illness are not shameful, and ignoring
 and forcing them down will only make them worse. If you need to lie in bed feeling miserable, do it.

 THINGS TO REMEMBER
 DON'T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS
 It can be easy to look at other people and see your own flaws, but it's important to try not to. Every
 person has different experiences and struggles, so it's not fair to yourself to look at someone without
 yours and think you're behind in some way.
 Taking longer to complete your studies isn't shameful. Making mistakes isn't shameful. Needing
 breaks isn't shameful. You'll get where you need to be in the end. Have patience.
 GRADES DON'T DEFINE YOU
 I spent so much of my life thinking my only worth came from my academic success. And guess what?
 This just led to more anxiety and depression. It's important to realise that things like grades, class
 rankings, GPAS, and "intelligence" aren't that important. Who you are and what you do is far more
 important than these arbitrary labels.
 THERE IS A STIGMA, SO BE PREPARED
 It's an unfortunate reality, but there is still a stigma against mental health issues and there is a chance
 it might affect your experiences while dealing with administrative staff and teachers. There have been
 stories about people telling their people supposed to be guiding them that they have mental health
 issues, and being dismissed because "it's a girl issue" or "it's all in their head".
 Be prepared in case this happens to you. Remind people that it's a medical condition and that you can
 get proof from medical professionals if need be. Plus, there is probably something in your school's
 policies or even the law that protects you when you have a mental illness.
 Remember that just because people are ignorant, that doesn't mean your issue is not 100% real and
 important. Don't let these people make you feel worse.
 YOU CAN DO THIS
 In our darkest moments, it can be hard to believe that we're capable of immense strength, but I
 promise you we are. Whatever obstacle is in your path right now - even if it's your brain chemistry -
 you are going to get through this.
 You've made it through every worst day you've had so far. You've made it through the dark and scary
 moments, and you've come out the other end stronger and wiser.
 Remember that you are strong, and even when you don't feel like it, there is always support available
 to help you realise that strength again.
 tmblimteom
apricot-studies:
smartstudy:

Hey guys. Iā€™m glad to be finally posting my ā€œmental breakdown survival guideā€. As you know I struggle a lot with mental health, and so I have been through a lot of breakdowns. So many that I actually dropped out of university after 3 weeks in 2016 and had to take the whole year off. Because of this, Iā€™ve made it my mission to help others with mental health issues as much as I can, so you donā€™t have to go through what Iā€™ve been through.
Anyway, here is my guide. I tried to keep it general, and actually useful. If you have any questions or additions please feel free to add them. 
And as ever, if you want to talk to me about studying with mental illness or want to see a post on a specific topic, please feel free to message me. 

thank you so much for this

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Plans: Saving Your Grades From
 A Mental Health Crisis
 What To Do Before, During, And After
 by SmartStudy.tumblr.com

 IF YOUR GRADES ARE IN IMMEDIATE DANGER
 CONTACT YOUR TEACHERS
 This should be the first thing you do when you realise you're in crisis. Email them, and explain your
 situation in short, professional terms. You do not have to include details about your condition. "I have
 a mental health condition" should suffice as to the nature of the issue.
 Tell them that you are going to arrange to see a medical professional as soon as possible, and ask what
 process you should go through to defer/get an extension on assessment, and if they can help you in
 any way.
 Other people you may have to contact or CC in the email (depending on your school):
 University
 High School
 Head of House
 Class Coordinator
 Faculty/School Admin
 Disability Advisor
 Grade Coordinator
 Head of Department
 Academic Admin
 Counsellor
 School Counsellor
 Student Advocate
 BOOK A DOCTOR/THERAPIST APPOINTMENT ASAP
 This will be the person who can vouch for you the most. It's best if you have seen them before and
 they know you. If you can't get an appointment within a few days, call them and email them (if you
 haven't seen them before this will not work). Make sure to check out what counselling your university
 or school offers.
 During this appointment, the priority is to make a plan to get you back on your feet. This effort will
 not be useful if you stay a mess. Once you've figured that out, get two things from this person. One is
 a medical certificate/letter stating that you have, in fact, been going through this crisis. Second is a
 letter that describes the nature of the crisis, what treatment you're going through, and which people
 to contact (psychiatrists, etc.) who can vouch for this.
 Note: The reason I say to get two letters is because there is still a huge stigma around mental illness,
 and you don't want to reveal that you've got a disorder that's highly stigmatised, only to have it come
 back and bite you in the ass later. Don't provide details unless it's necessary or asked for.
 A STUDENT
 KNOW YOUR RIGHTS AS
 Most schools and institutions will have a list of a student's rights and responsibilities online. Look them
 up. Know what your rights are as a student. Also look to see if there are state/national laws protecting
 you, or if your school is a part of a network of schools that has its own code. Some people working in
 schools still think mental health issues are trivial, and you never know when they're going to ignore a
 rule to suit themselves. Make sure you can pick on this if it happens to you.
 Pretty much all schools will have protection in place for students with mental illnesses and disabilities,
 so even if you a miss a deadline for a form or make another mistake, they should take your exceptional
 circumstances into account. This is where a student or disability advisor from school can help you.
 ottom

 IF YOU HAVEN'T REACHED CRISIS YET
 TALK TO A DOCTOR/THERAPIST/COUNSELLOR/TRUSTED ADULT
 If you're going through a hard time, talk to someone who can help you. Any trusted adult or
 professional can help you get back on your feet before it's too late, or refer you to someone who can.
 If it's a new issue, you'll have to see someone like a GP who can refer you to a therapist or mental
 health service.
 Talk to them about what's been happening, and say that you need help. Sometimes, even talking
 about the problem can help you feel better. In these situations, they can also help you figure out what
 you can do at school to catch up/get special help.
 FIGURE OUT HOW TO STUDY WHILE IN A BAD STATE
 Even if you're getting help, it might be some time before you're fully back on track. In these instances,
 try to make the best of a bad situation.
 Can't leave the house? Access lecture recordings and eBooks. Ask your friends to send you their notes,
 or ask the teacher if you can submit your homework via email, or through a friend. Have trouble
 concentrating? Figure out how long you can study without needing a break, and make a schedule
 around that.
 Always make sure to ask your teachers if they can help you with this. Whether it be slightly changing
 the requirements or conditions of a piece of assessment, or simply their understanding that you may
 not be able to attend perfectly, it can make a big difference with your overall marks. If they don't know
 you're struggling, they can't help!
 DON'T PUSH YOURSELF OR OVERTHINK
 When you realise there's an issue, it's easy to fall into panic or try to power through. Don't do this. It'll
 just make you more stressed and aggravate the existing problems, which will make things much worse
 in the long run.
 Though it's hard to believe sometimes, your health and mental health are more important than your
 grades. You can't ignore your mind when it's screaming at you that something is wrong. Listen to it,
 and be easy on yourself.
 The best way to get back to your full potential to ask for help and give yourself what you need. Take a
 break when you need one and practise self-care. It's more important than you might things.

 RECOVERING FROM A BREAKDOWN
 ACCEPT THAT YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH SOMETHING MAJOR
 Once the worst has passed, some people try to brush it off and pretend it never happened. They can
 feel ashamed or embarrassed about what they went through. However, there is absolutely nothing to
 be ashamed or embarrassed about, especially if you had a pre-existing mental health condition. Every
 life has ups and downs and just because yours were a bit more serious than some people's, it doesn't
 mean that you're weak somehow.
 The best thing you can do for yourself is to recognise what happened, and work to prevent it from
 happening again by setting up crisis plans and support networks.
 GET TUTORING TO CATCH UP
 If you've fallen behind, don't worry. There are plenty of ways to catch yourself up and get back on
 track. The best way is to hire a tutor. They can guide you through the work, help you understand
 difficult concepts, and identify the places you need more help.
 Yes, tutors can be expensive, but there's a way to get around this. See if there is anyone who took
 your class the year before who might be willing to tutor you for an hour each week for a discounted
 prince. Similarly, see if there are any students who can help you in exchange for something like
 instrument lessons. And if any of your friends are academically gifted, I'm sure they'd be able to help.
 If all else fails, go to office hours and any free tutoring sessions your school or university offers. Do
 some research, ask around, see what's there.
 PACE YOURSELF AND DON'T RUSH IN
 After a breakdown or crisis, you may be tempted to throw yourself back into your work to catch up.
 Don't! You'll become overwhelmed and end up back at square one. Remember, you've just been
 through a very difficult situation and you're not going to get better overnight.
 Ease yourself in. I definitely recommend starting with a reduced or part-time study load if possible.
 Remember that you may not be back at your full capacity just yet, and difficulties concentrating and
 being motivated could make things hard. By starting off slowly, you're able to get used to studying
 again without too much pressure.
 DEVELOP A ROUTINE
 Yes, this advice is in every piece of study advice ever, but you shouldn't develop just any routine.
 Develop one that allows you plenty of breaks and takes into consider any issues you may have with
 fatigue or focusing. If your breakdown was caused by overwork, make sure this one is easier on you.
 Things to include you could include in a healthy routine (but don't micromanage!):
 "I feel crap" time*
 Breaks and meals
 Plenty of sleep and rest
 "You" time (treat yo self)
 Time to plan for the next week
 Exercise (have you tried yoga? Kidding)
 Meditation/mindfulness
 Friend/family social time
 * Remember that the thoughts and feelings caused by mental illness are not shameful, and ignoring
 and forcing them down will only make them worse. If you need to lie in bed feeling miserable, do it.

 THINGS TO REMEMBER
 DON'T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS
 It can be easy to look at other people and see your own flaws, but it's important to try not to. Every
 person has different experiences and struggles, so it's not fair to yourself to look at someone without
 yours and think you're behind in some way.
 Taking longer to complete your studies isn't shameful. Making mistakes isn't shameful. Needing
 breaks isn't shameful. You'll get where you need to be in the end. Have patience.
 GRADES DON'T DEFINE YOU
 I spent so much of my life thinking my only worth came from my academic success. And guess what?
 This just led to more anxiety and depression. It's important to realise that things like grades, class
 rankings, GPAS, and "intelligence" aren't that important. Who you are and what you do is far more
 important than these arbitrary labels.
 THERE IS A STIGMA, SO BE PREPARED
 It's an unfortunate reality, but there is still a stigma against mental health issues and there is a chance
 it might affect your experiences while dealing with administrative staff and teachers. There have been
 stories about people telling their people supposed to be guiding them that they have mental health
 issues, and being dismissed because "it's a girl issue" or "it's all in their head".
 Be prepared in case this happens to you. Remind people that it's a medical condition and that you can
 get proof from medical professionals if need be. Plus, there is probably something in your school's
 policies or even the law that protects you when you have a mental illness.
 Remember that just because people are ignorant, that doesn't mean your issue is not 100% real and
 important. Don't let these people make you feel worse.
 YOU CAN DO THIS
 In our darkest moments, it can be hard to believe that we're capable of immense strength, but I
 promise you we are. Whatever obstacle is in your path right now - even if it's your brain chemistry -
 you are going to get through this.
 You've made it through every worst day you've had so far. You've made it through the dark and scary
 moments, and you've come out the other end stronger and wiser.
 Remember that you are strong, and even when you don't feel like it, there is always support available
 to help you realise that strength again.
 tmblimteom
apricot-studies:
smartstudy:

Hey guys. Iā€™m glad to be finally posting my ā€œmental breakdown survival guideā€. As you know I struggle a lot with mental health, and so I have been through a lot of breakdowns. So many that I actually dropped out of university after 3 weeks in 2016 and had to take the whole year off. Because of this, Iā€™ve made it my mission to help others with mental health issues as much as I can, so you donā€™t have to go through what Iā€™ve been through.
Anyway, here is my guide. I tried to keep it general, and actually useful. If you have any questions or additions please feel free to add them. 
And as ever, if you want to talk to me about studying with mental illness or want to see a post on a specific topic, please feel free to message me. 

thank you so much for this

                
            

            
            
apricot-studies:
smartstudy:

Hey guys. Iā€™m glad to be finally posting my ā€œmental breakdown survival guideā€. As you know I struggle a lot...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Plans: yes its true Moscow ran out of vodka during the victory celebration of WWII,
ao3tagoftheday:

186282397milespersec:

ao3tagoftheday:

[Image Description: Tag reading ā€œyes its true Moscow ran out of vodka during the victory celebration of WWIIā€]

The AO3 Tag of the Day is: Please ask me about the Russian vodka ban in 1914? 

What was the Russian Vodka Ban in 1914?

Ok, time to nerd. So Russians like vodka, ok? I donā€™t think this is a big revelation to anyone, but I feel like I should make it clear. Vodka isā€¦importantā€¦in Russia.So, in 1904, Russia was preparing to go fight a war with Japan. Because, you know, sometimes youā€™re trying to retain control of a warm-water port and also thereā€™s racism and then you need to have a war about it. So the Tsar orders his army to mobilize to go fight Japan, only thereā€™s a problem: instead of mobilizing in an organized manner, soldiers are buying vodka and getting drunk out of their minds and then, like, not showing up for the war. Which, I mean, valid. I might get drunk and not show up if someone told me I had to go fight a war, and I donā€™t even drink. But it was a problem, and it actually really messed up Russiaā€™s mobilization plans.So 1914 rolls around, and the Russians are going to go to war with Austria. Because, you know, sometimes international tensions in a multipolar situation get really heightened and then some asshole in an ugly uniform gets shot and then you need to have a war about it. So the Tsar orders his army to mobilize to go fight Austria, and this time, he has a plan. Vodka will not defeat him! He bans the sale of vodka in Russia. All of it. First for the duration of the mobilization period, and then for the duration of the war. Great idea, right?Only thereā€™s a problem. The reason the Tsar can just stop all vodka sales with a snap of his fingers is that the Tsar sells all the vodka. Vodka is a state monopoly. You literally canā€™t get vodka from anyone but the government. Which makes it very easy to ban, but, wellā€¦.Remember how I said Russians really like vodka? Iā€™m just gonna say it again: Russians really like vodka. Really, really like it. So it makes sense that, if youā€™re a government with chronic money problems, you might create a state monopoly on vodka sales in order to raise some cash. You might raise a lot of cash. A huge fucking ton of cash. Literally one third of the Russian governmentā€™s revenue came from selling vodka. One fucking third.Hereā€™s another thing: Wars? They cost money. A lot of it. And if youā€™re the Russian state in, say, 1914, and youā€™re about to kick off WWI, it might behoove you to not literally eliminate a third of your fucking revenue with a snap of your fingers! I donā€™t think thatā€™s such a hard idea to wrap your head around, but what the fuck do I know. But anyway, Russia had chronic money problems throughout the war and couldnā€™t outfit their soldiers or feed their people or any of that shit. Also there was a revolution and communism and such-like. The end.Anyway, this story has several morals and they are as follows:Getting drunk and not showing up for wars is a valid life choiceConsidering the possible effects of your policies before implementing them is important please do thatProhibition causes communism and therefore we should all buy as much alcohol as we can because we love god and america
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Plans: yes its true Moscow ran out of vodka during the victory celebration of WWII,
ao3tagoftheday:

186282397milespersec:

ao3tagoftheday:

[Image Description: Tag reading ā€œyes its true Moscow ran out of vodka during the victory celebration of WWIIā€]

The AO3 Tag of the Day is: Please ask me about the Russian vodka ban in 1914? 

What was the Russian Vodka Ban in 1914?

Ok, time to nerd. So Russians like vodka, ok? I donā€™t think this is a big revelation to anyone, but I feel like I should make it clear. Vodka isā€¦importantā€¦in Russia.So, in 1904, Russia was preparing to go fight a war with Japan. Because, you know, sometimes youā€™re trying to retain control of a warm-water port and also thereā€™s racism and then you need to have a war about it. So the Tsar orders his army to mobilize to go fight Japan, only thereā€™s a problem: instead of mobilizing in an organized manner, soldiers are buying vodka and getting drunk out of their minds and then, like, not showing up for the war. Which, I mean, valid. I might get drunk and not show up if someone told me I had to go fight a war, and I donā€™t even drink. But it was a problem, and it actually really messed up Russiaā€™s mobilization plans.So 1914 rolls around, and the Russians are going to go to war with Austria. Because, you know, sometimes international tensions in a multipolar situation get really heightened and then some asshole in an ugly uniform gets shot and then you need to have a war about it. So the Tsar orders his army to mobilize to go fight Austria, and this time, he has a plan. Vodka will not defeat him! He bans the sale of vodka in Russia. All of it. First for the duration of the mobilization period, and then for the duration of the war. Great idea, right?Only thereā€™s a problem. The reason the Tsar can just stop all vodka sales with a snap of his fingers is that the Tsar sells all the vodka. Vodka is a state monopoly. You literally canā€™t get vodka from anyone but the government. Which makes it very easy to ban, but, wellā€¦.Remember how I said Russians really like vodka? Iā€™m just gonna say it again: Russians really like vodka. Really, really like it. So it makes sense that, if youā€™re a government with chronic money problems, you might create a state monopoly on vodka sales in order to raise some cash. You might raise a lot of cash. A huge fucking ton of cash. Literally one third of the Russian governmentā€™s revenue came from selling vodka. One fucking third.Hereā€™s another thing: Wars? They cost money. A lot of it. And if youā€™re the Russian state in, say, 1914, and youā€™re about to kick off WWI, it might behoove you to not literally eliminate a third of your fucking revenue with a snap of your fingers! I donā€™t think thatā€™s such a hard idea to wrap your head around, but what the fuck do I know. But anyway, Russia had chronic money problems throughout the war and couldnā€™t outfit their soldiers or feed their people or any of that shit. Also there was a revolution and communism and such-like. The end.Anyway, this story has several morals and they are as follows:Getting drunk and not showing up for wars is a valid life choiceConsidering the possible effects of your policies before implementing them is important please do thatProhibition causes communism and therefore we should all buy as much alcohol as we can because we love god and america
                
            

            
            
ao3tagoftheday:

186282397milespersec:

ao3tagoftheday:

[Image Description: Tag reading ā€œyes its true Moscow ran out of vodka during the...