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Bodies , Bored, and Dad: aRARE daddysbuterfly: pomegranateandivy: canisfamiliaris: gamzees-hole: razzretina: sarahsellaphix: officialgarrusvakarian: we-are-star-stuff: zerostatereflex: An Octopus unscrewing a lid from the inside. Octopuses are going to kill us all someday I had a biology teacher that told us this story about an octopus at an aquarium in Australia. The staff were concerned because their population of crustaceans kept disappearing. No bodies or anything. So they checked the video feed to find out what’s up. Across from the the crustacean tank was a small octopus tank. This little fucker squeezed out of a tiny hole at the top of his tank, walk across the hall, and get into the crustacean tank. He would then hunt and eat. After he was done, he crawled back out and get back in his tank Here’s the kicker: security guards patrolled the area. The staff realized that the octopus had memorized the security’s routine. It would escape and be back between the guards’ round. My friend who worked at Henry Doorly Zoo in Omaha, Nebraska had a similar story.  Rare fish were disappearing, they suspected theft, and so set up a camera. An octopus was unlocking the top of its tank, walking across the suspended walkway, unlocking the other tank, eating his fill, re-locking the other tank, then re-locking its own tank. I can’t remember what zoo this happened at, but there was another octopus somewhere who was unscrewing a water valve in the room where its tank was located and routinely flooding the place. The staffers had no idea what it was until they filmed the octopus caught in the act. RELEASE THE KRAKEN!! But, sir, it has already released itself! Octopus Steals Video Camera, Films Own Escape Octopus Escapes from Tank to Prowl on its Neighbors Octopus Escape — 600-pound (272-kilogram) octopus wriggles through a passageway the size of a quarter Legging It: Evasive Octopus Has Been Allowed to Look for Love Octopus Escapes through Small Hole in Ship My dad worked in a lab and one of the rooms had a tank with an octopus in it. If they didn’t go play with the octopus he got bored and would climb out of his tank and steal the paperwork off the desks, and drag stuff into his tank to let the scientists know he was upset with them. 😳😳😳
Bodies , Bored, and Dad: aRARE
daddysbuterfly:

pomegranateandivy:

canisfamiliaris:

gamzees-hole:

razzretina:

sarahsellaphix:

officialgarrusvakarian:

we-are-star-stuff:

zerostatereflex:

An Octopus unscrewing a lid from the inside.

Octopuses are going to kill us all someday

I had a biology teacher that told us this story about an octopus at an aquarium in Australia. The staff were concerned because their population of crustaceans kept disappearing. No bodies or anything. So they checked the video feed to find out what’s up.
Across from the the crustacean tank was a small octopus tank. This little fucker squeezed out of a tiny hole at the top of his tank, walk across the hall, and get into the crustacean tank. He would then hunt and eat. After he was done, he crawled back out and get back in his tank
Here’s the kicker: security guards patrolled the area. The staff realized that the octopus had memorized the security’s routine. It would escape and be back between the guards’ round.

My friend who worked at Henry Doorly Zoo in Omaha, Nebraska had a similar story.  Rare fish were disappearing, they suspected theft, and so set up a camera. An octopus was unlocking the top of its tank, walking across the suspended walkway, unlocking the other tank, eating his fill, re-locking the other tank, then re-locking its own tank.

I can’t remember what zoo this happened at, but there was another octopus somewhere who was unscrewing a water valve in the room where its tank was located and routinely flooding the place. The staffers had no idea what it was until they filmed the octopus caught in the act.

RELEASE THE KRAKEN!! But, sir, it has already released itself!

Octopus Steals Video Camera, Films Own Escape
Octopus Escapes from Tank to Prowl on its Neighbors
Octopus Escape — 600-pound (272-kilogram) octopus wriggles through a passageway the size of a quarter
Legging It: Evasive Octopus Has Been Allowed to Look for Love
Octopus Escapes through Small Hole in Ship

My dad worked in a lab and one of the rooms had a tank with an octopus in it. If they didn’t go play with the octopus he got bored and would climb out of his tank and steal the paperwork off the desks, and drag stuff into his tank to let the scientists know he was upset with them.


😳😳😳

daddysbuterfly: pomegranateandivy: canisfamiliaris: gamzees-hole: razzretina: sarahsellaphix: officialgarrusvakarian: we-are-star-stu...

Alive, Animals, and Beautiful: SPEED DATING TODAY! vixiano: thedirtythirty: wonderingifyoukneww: secretly-obsessed-with-fandoms: arylenchanted: ungratefullittleshit: msannedree: rowan-fcb: causewecan: creamsifemme-kitty: totallynotthecops: scars-of-stars: dragonsrequiem: deigns: its-jakeperalta: deigns: petl0vers: celebrity–outfits: its-jakeperalta: 10 REASONS TO ADOPT A PET You save a life. The cost of adoption is less than buying a pet. Most shelter animals have had medical treatment and are spayed/neutered, microchipped, and up to date with vaccines. There are more unique pets to choose from in shelters. Age, breeds, mixed breeds, and personality choices are greater. Many are already trained. Your bed is pre-warmed on cold winter nights. Animals are just ready to love you, no matter what. Adopting from a shelter opens a cage for another pet who needs a new forever home. An adult pet takes the guess work out of determining size, thickness of coat, and energy level. Mixed breeds are unique compared to purebreeds and may have less genetically inherited health problems. Take this quiz to find out which dog is right for you! Please adopt some lovely doggos As someone who just adopted a third doggo from the shelter, please do it if you can find a dog right for you. Those shelters do everything they can to keep them alive, but it’s a family that keeps them happy. Okay, but is there a quiz for which shelter kitty I should get? @deigns​  good u asked, yes!!! sorry I forgot to add that one, anyway here is it What Breed of Cat should you get? Ty jake peralta Plus? Those animals in the pound? They KNOW that they are on death row. My first dog as a married woman was an eleventh hour adoption. A 13-y-o basset hound mix (pound said they thought he was 11 because they were trying to save him by making him sound a teeny bit younger) and he was “Til death do we part” loyal. We lost him 4 years later to cancer, and we (the family had grown from 2 to 3 humans) were devastated. My sister? Fosters cats, and ended up with a charmer who’d been hit by a car. Sephiroth is a well loved asshole, and his brother, Cloud (a stray who found a sucker bet), is almost canine levels of friendly. Be a superhero. Save a life. Rescue. As someone who has worked in a shelter for two years and watched many of my babies go to their incredible forever homes, you wouldn’t BELIEVE how big of a difference you can see in the animals’ behavior from being in the kennels to even just a few minutes after leaving. When their new owners are filling out the paperwork, there’s already a new spark in their eyes. They KNOW they’re going home; they know they’re getting to be loved the way all animals deserve to be. There are so many beautiful animals in shelters that get overlooked. Next time you’re searching for a companion, check your local shelters and rescues. Not only are you getting a companion, but you’re saving a life. I got my Norwegian Forest Cat from a shelter. He’s huge, and never shuts up, and is moody and a prolific hunter (or was. He’s not allowed out), and the biggest cuddliest mamas boy on the planet. i just adopted my first cat from the humane society ! her name is Persephone and she’s 14 almost 15 years old. i love my angel so much. I got all three of my cats from shelters and they are honestly so appreciative! They are amazing little creatures and have become the light of my life…. please adopt!! You won’t regret it and neither will your little ball of fur. This cutie used to be a stray in Greece. A lot of people try to poisen them, because there are so many strays there (which is the peoples fault. They buy puppies and leave them on the streets when they are older). I‘m happy, I had the chance to safe my little lady. I still wish to safe more. They are always so happy when you only pet them or just give them a bit of attention. My babies Penelope and Eloise were irresponsibly let outside without being spayed. Both got pregnant and their owner dumped them at the shelter two weeks before they were due with kittens. Due to being full to capacity, they were immediately at the top of the kill list. Thankfully a foster rescued them, got them healthy, helped them birth nine healthy kittens between the two of them, rescued four more orphan kittens that these girls adopted and nursed, got them ALL fixed, got ALL THIRTEEN kittens good homes, and I adopted these silly, destructive, adorable, loud, cuddle bugs. They’re a bonded pair, and they’ve brought light and love and laughter into my life. Please adopt!!!! Please fix your pets! Save a love, be compassionate, and find your best friend! Both adopted in a shelter. Best decision I have ever made. My husband and I adopted this little ball of love from a shelter and he’s literally the most amazing dog in the world. ❤️ got all four of my loves from our local shelter. absolute sweethearts ❤️ Got this pretty fur ball from a local shelter 🥰 #adoptdontshop The future wife and I adopted this 3-legged snuggle bug from our local humane society this summer and it’s one of, if not THE, best decision we have made ❤️🥰 My adopted baby! Please don’t disregard shelters just because you want a certain breed! Either sign up to volunteer at a shelter (you’ll get the inside scoop on the dogs/cats) or visit the shelter every day or every other day. There are always so many different breeds, some just get scooped up quicker than others! My precious boy!!! We actually adopted him throigh Facebook from Romania - if your shelter doesn’t have the breed you want, there are so many other places to look! Follow rescue centre pages on social media and look on websites!
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10 REASONS TO ADOPT A PET
You save a life.
The cost of adoption is less than buying a pet.
Most shelter animals have had medical treatment and are spayed/neutered, microchipped, and up to date with vaccines.
There are more unique pets to choose from in shelters. Age, breeds, mixed breeds, and personality choices are greater.
Many are already trained.
Your bed is pre-warmed on cold winter nights.
Animals are just ready to love you, no matter what.
Adopting from a shelter opens a cage for another pet who needs a new forever home.
An adult pet takes the guess work out of determining size, thickness of coat, and energy level.
Mixed breeds are unique compared to purebreeds and may have less genetically inherited health problems.
Take this quiz to find out which dog is right for you!

Please adopt some lovely doggos



As someone who just adopted a third doggo from the shelter, please do it if you can find a dog right for you. Those shelters do everything they can to keep them alive, but it’s a family that keeps them happy.





Okay, but is there a quiz for which shelter kitty I should get?



@deigns​ 

good u asked, yes!!! sorry I forgot to add that one, anyway here is it


What Breed of Cat should you get? 



Ty jake peralta


Plus? Those animals in the pound? They KNOW that they are on death row. My first dog as a married woman was an eleventh hour adoption. A 13-y-o basset hound mix (pound said they thought he was 11 because they were trying to save him by making him sound a teeny bit younger) and he was “Til death do we part” loyal. We lost him 4 years later to cancer, and we (the family had grown from 2 to 3 humans) were devastated.
My sister? Fosters cats, and ended up with a charmer who’d been hit by a car. Sephiroth is a well loved asshole, and his brother, Cloud (a stray who found a sucker bet), is almost canine levels of friendly.
Be a superhero. Save a life. Rescue.


As someone who has worked in a shelter for two years and watched many of my babies go to their incredible forever homes, you wouldn’t BELIEVE how big of a difference you can see in the animals’ behavior from being in the kennels to even just a few minutes after leaving. When their new owners are filling out the paperwork, there’s already a new spark in their eyes. They KNOW they’re going home; they know they’re getting to be loved the way all animals deserve to be. There are so many beautiful animals in shelters that get overlooked. Next time you’re searching for a companion, check your local shelters and rescues. Not only are you getting a companion, but you’re saving a life. 


I got my Norwegian Forest Cat from a shelter. He’s huge, and never shuts up, and is moody and a prolific hunter (or was. He’s not allowed out), and the biggest cuddliest mamas boy on the planet. 


i just adopted my first cat from the humane society ! her name is Persephone and she’s 14 almost 15 years old. i love my angel so much. 




I got all three of my cats from shelters and they are honestly so appreciative! They are amazing little creatures and have become the light of my life…. please adopt!! You won’t regret it and neither will your little ball of fur. 


This cutie used to be a stray in Greece. A lot of people try to poisen them, because there are so many strays there (which is the peoples fault. They buy puppies and leave them on the streets when they are older).
I‘m happy, I had the chance to safe my little lady. I still wish to safe more. They are always so happy when you only pet them or just give them a bit of attention.




My babies Penelope and Eloise were irresponsibly let outside without being spayed. Both got pregnant and their owner dumped them at the shelter two weeks before they were due with kittens. Due to being full to capacity, they were immediately at the top of the kill list. Thankfully a foster rescued them, got them healthy, helped them birth nine healthy kittens between the two of them, rescued four more orphan kittens that these girls adopted and nursed, got them ALL fixed, got ALL THIRTEEN kittens good homes, and I adopted these silly, destructive, adorable, loud, cuddle bugs. They’re a bonded pair, and they’ve brought light and love and laughter into my life. Please adopt!!!! Please fix your pets! Save a love, be compassionate, and find your best friend! 




Both adopted in a shelter. Best decision I have ever made.




My husband and I adopted this little ball of love from a shelter and he’s literally the most amazing dog in the world. ❤️ 




got all four of my loves from our local shelter. absolute sweethearts ❤️


Got this pretty fur ball from a local shelter 🥰  #adoptdontshop 




The future wife and I adopted this 3-legged snuggle bug from our local humane society this summer and it’s one of, if not THE, best decision we have made ❤️🥰


My adopted baby! Please don’t disregard shelters just because you want a certain breed! Either sign up to volunteer at a shelter (you’ll get the inside scoop on the dogs/cats) or visit the shelter every day or every other day. There are always so many different breeds, some just get scooped up quicker than others!


My precious boy!!! We actually adopted him throigh Facebook from Romania - if your shelter doesn’t have the breed you want, there are so many other places to look! Follow rescue centre pages on social media and look on websites!

vixiano: thedirtythirty: wonderingifyoukneww: secretly-obsessed-with-fandoms: arylenchanted: ungratefullittleshit: msannedree: rowan-...

Alive, Bad, and College: Side Effects Follow ECTS @SideEffectsNews Why aren't millennials giving blood? bit.ly/2fRZG5i 5:14 PM 28 Sep 2017 Belinda Blumenthal @philomenapunk Follow because we all gay ide Effects @SideEffectsNews Why aren't millennials giving blood? bit.ly/2fRZG5i 11:29 AM 3 Oct 2017 3,199 Retweets 11,051 Likes agapantoblu: somecunttookmyurl: creaturethatcries: dr-dendritic-trees: karnythia: voidbat: genderfuckt: optimysticals: the-fury-of-a-time-lord: luidilovins: the-modern-satyr: seedydemigod: captainfunkpunkandroll: the-real-eye-to-see: Didn’t even know people are not allowed to give blood if they are gay That’s been the thing for years. The HIV scare of the ‘80s prohibited us from donating blood. And they still hold that against us despite the fact that that claim has been debunked over and over again. the wording on the paperwork is “Are you a man who has had sexual intercourse with a man after 1980” or “Are you a woman who has had sexual intercourse with a man who has had sexual intercourse with another man since 1980” (this was a blood drive at my college where majority of the students werent Alive in 1980.) I donated all the time back when I was a virgin, because o- , but now I’m not allowed to. So a better question for this article is “Why won’t baby boomers let queer people donate blood, even though all the blood gets screened for HIV and aids anyway?” though, theres a lot of room for loopholes in the wording of it This fucking matters. Bias in medicine is bias that should not exist. Fucking fix it. This is disgusting hey trans people can’t give blood either. was banned from a plasma place for having the nerve to show up and be trans. “we don’t serve you people”. This is one of the reasons why it was painful for a LOT of Queer people after the Pulse shooting. We kept seeing messages calling for blood donations but so many of us can’t donate. We couldn’t even help our own community.  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! as someone who has received money and/or drugs in exchange for sex, i have a lifetime ban on giving blood. FURTHERMORE, my whore blood is so filthy that if you’ve had sex with me in the past year, YOU can’t give blood! and that’s a federal goddamn guideline, folks! If you lived in Europe for 3 months between 1980 and 1996 you can’t donate blood which basically takes out everyone who ever served in the military and was stationed overseas, anyone who studied abroad or anyone who had a job overseas during that period. The Red Cross is always announcing they have a shortage of blood donors but they create the shortage with the byzantine array of restrictions that they refuse to revisit.  Okay, the above stuff is stigma and total crap, we have efficient screens for HIV and things now, the blood will be screened anyway, banning people for their sexual history is completely prejudice and its wasteful, and those rules really need to go. But the last one, the ban on donation for people living in Europe, is actually done for a reason. Its an attempt to limit the spread of vCJD, which we don’t have a way of screening for right now. Last i went you could donate blood if trans, I was openly trans at my blood clinic and they took me. So its probably just that particular clinic, which I say so that other trans people arent discouraged from trying to donate. Also… as long as its the only question you lie on… if theres a blood shortage emergency I really dont see why not lie on that one question. Like its terrible to have to do that and im not trying to make you feel bad if you avoiding donating because of it, but since we know its not scientifically founded it seems perfectly moral to me to lie on that one question if you want to donate. There’s not really a way for them to fact check that. I really never understood why people don’t just LIE “Heartbroken they couldn’t-“ JUST LIE ON THE FORM I’m an openly queer woman in Italy and I’ve never lied on my form, but also, my form doesn’t even ask the gender of my partner. All the questions are phrased “have you had any heterosexual or homosexual intercourse in the past six months?”, “have you changed partner in the past six months?” They are willingly phrased to work for all people because there’s literally no scientific reason as to why straight blood would be safer than gay blood.It’s just a formality. Honestly, you could write you just had an orgy and as long as you claim you’ve practiced safe sex they’ll give you the green card to donate. At most, they mark your sack for a more thorough venereal diseases screening in case you couldn’t affirm for sure that you’re 100% clean.The whole “but after the AIDS scare” discourse is bullcrap. They give AIDS informative flyers to all donors once a year and they screen for HIV all the sacks. Whenever you donate, you get the analysis results back and if you check, straight or gay, there’s always the results for the HIV test. Because medicine knows that straights and gays are all equally likely to be affected, it’s how it is.If you’re gay, you can donate. If you’re trans, the most that can happen is that your doctor allows you two yearly donations, roughly six months apart, if you are having your period; otherwise you’re allowed three yearly donations, roughly four months apart. That’s it.If the forms are like those provided in Italy, you won’t have even have to lie. If you live in some dumbass country that thinks you cannot donate if you’re queer, though, yeah, just fucking lie about it because there is no valid reason that says you cannot give blood.It’s an whole different matter if we’re talking about restrictions based on where you were at X date.These questions are common worldwide because they refer to viruses and infections that cannot be screened. This is not made because the Red Cross is mean and cruel and whatever the fuck; it’s because they cannot be sure your blood is not contaminated and since the blood is going to someone who, it stands to reason, is already compromised on their own, they cannot fight their own battle and add more. That’s why you cannot donate. My uncle died because he was fighting leukemia and was injected a transfusion of infected blood. DO NOT LIE ON THE FORM ABOUT ILLNESSES YOU HAD OR PLACES YOU’VE BEEN TO. YOUR WISH TO DONATE IS WORTH JACK SHIT IF YOU CONTAMINATE SOMEONE BECAUSE YOU WEREN’T HONEST.
Alive, Bad, and College: Side Effects
 Follow
 ECTS @SideEffectsNews
 Why aren't millennials giving blood?
 bit.ly/2fRZG5i
 5:14 PM 28 Sep 2017

 Belinda Blumenthal
 @philomenapunk
 Follow
 because we all gay
 ide Effects @SideEffectsNews
 Why aren't millennials giving blood? bit.ly/2fRZG5i
 11:29 AM 3 Oct 2017
 3,199 Retweets 11,051 Likes
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Didn’t even know people are not allowed to give blood if they are gay


That’s been the thing for years. The HIV scare of the ‘80s prohibited us from donating blood. And they still hold that against us despite the fact that that claim has been debunked over and over again.

the wording on the paperwork is “Are you a man who has had sexual intercourse with a man after 1980” or “Are you a woman who has had sexual intercourse with a man who has had sexual intercourse with another man since 1980” (this was a blood drive at my college  where majority of the students werent Alive in 1980.) I donated all the time back when I was a virgin, because o- , but now I’m not allowed to. So a better question for this article is “Why won’t baby boomers let queer people donate blood, even though all the blood gets screened for HIV and aids anyway?” though, theres a lot of room for loopholes in the wording of it   


This fucking matters. Bias in medicine is bias that should not exist. Fucking fix it.


This is disgusting 

hey trans people can’t give blood either. was banned from a plasma place for having the nerve to show up and be trans. “we don’t serve you people”.

This is one of the reasons why it was painful for a LOT of Queer people after the Pulse shooting. We kept seeing messages calling for blood donations but so many of us can’t donate. We couldn’t even help our own community. 


!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


as someone who has received money and/or drugs in exchange for sex, i have a lifetime ban on giving blood. FURTHERMORE, my whore blood is so filthy that if you’ve had sex with me in the past year, YOU can’t give blood!
and that’s a federal goddamn guideline, folks! 

If you lived in Europe for 3 months between 1980 and 1996 you can’t donate blood which basically takes out everyone who ever served in the military and was stationed overseas, anyone who studied abroad or anyone who had a job overseas during that period. The Red Cross is always announcing they have a shortage of blood donors but they create the shortage with the byzantine array of restrictions that they refuse to revisit. 

Okay, the above stuff is stigma and total crap, we have efficient screens for HIV and things now, the blood will be screened anyway, banning people for their sexual history is completely prejudice and its wasteful, and those rules really need to go.
But the last one, the ban on donation for people living in Europe, is actually done for a reason. Its an attempt to limit the spread of vCJD, which we don’t have a way of screening for right now.


Last i went you could donate blood if trans, I was openly trans at my blood clinic and they took me. So its probably just that particular clinic, which I say so that other trans people arent discouraged from trying to donate.
Also… as long as its the only question you lie on… if theres a blood shortage emergency I really dont see why not lie on that one question. Like its terrible to have to do that and im not trying to make you feel bad if you avoiding donating because of it, but since we know its not scientifically founded it seems perfectly moral to me to lie on that one question if you want to donate. There’s not really a way for them to fact check that.


I really never understood why people don’t just LIE
“Heartbroken they couldn’t-“ JUST LIE ON THE FORM

I’m an openly queer woman in Italy and I’ve never lied on my form, but also, my form doesn’t even ask the gender of my partner. All the questions are phrased “have you had any heterosexual or homosexual intercourse in the past six months?”, “have you changed partner in the past six months?” They are willingly phrased to work for all people because there’s literally no scientific reason as to why straight blood would be safer than gay blood.It’s just a formality. Honestly, you could write you just had an orgy and as long as you claim you’ve practiced safe sex they’ll give you the green card to donate. At most, they mark your sack for a more thorough venereal diseases screening in case you couldn’t affirm for sure that you’re 100% clean.The whole “but after the AIDS scare” discourse is bullcrap. They give AIDS informative flyers to all donors once a year and they screen for HIV all the sacks. Whenever you donate, you get the analysis results back and if you check, straight or gay, there’s always the results for the HIV test. Because medicine knows that straights and gays are all equally likely to be affected, it’s how it is.If you’re gay, you can donate. If you’re trans, the most that can happen is that your doctor allows you two yearly donations, roughly six months apart, if you are having your period; otherwise you’re allowed three yearly donations, roughly four months apart. That’s it.If the forms are like those provided in Italy, you won’t have even have to lie. If you live in some dumbass country that thinks you cannot donate if you’re queer, though, yeah, just fucking lie about it because there is no valid reason that says you cannot give blood.It’s an whole different matter if we’re talking about restrictions based on where you were at X date.These questions are common worldwide because they refer to viruses and infections that cannot be screened. This is not made because the Red Cross is mean and cruel and whatever the fuck; it’s because they cannot be sure your blood is not contaminated and since the blood is going to someone who, it stands to reason, is already compromised on their own, they cannot fight their own battle and add more. That’s why you cannot donate. My uncle died because he was fighting leukemia and was injected a transfusion of infected blood. DO NOT LIE ON THE FORM ABOUT ILLNESSES YOU HAD OR PLACES YOU’VE BEEN TO. YOUR WISH TO DONATE IS WORTH JACK SHIT IF YOU CONTAMINATE SOMEONE BECAUSE YOU WEREN’T HONEST.

agapantoblu: somecunttookmyurl: creaturethatcries: dr-dendritic-trees: karnythia: voidbat: genderfuckt: optimysticals: the-fury-of-...

Alive, College, and Fucking: Side Effects Follow ECTS @SideEffectsNews Why aren't millennials giving blood? bit.ly/2fRZG5i 5:14 PM 28 Sep 2017 Belinda Blumenthal @philomenapunk Follow because we all gay ide Effects @SideEffectsNews Why aren't millennials giving blood? bit.ly/2fRZG5i 11:29 AM 3 Oct 2017 3,199 Retweets 11,051 Likes the-modern-satyr: seedydemigod: captainfunkpunkandroll: the-real-eye-to-see: Didn’t even know people are not allowed to give blood if they are gay That’s been the thing for years. The HIV scare of the ‘80s prohibited us from donating blood. And they still hold that against us despite the fact that that claim has been debunked over and over again. the wording on the paperwork is “Are you a man who has had sexual intercourse with a man after 1980” or “Are you a woman who has had sexual intercourse with a man who has had sexual intercourse with another man since 1980” (this was a blood drive at my college where majority of the students werent Alive in 1980.) I donated all the time back when I was a virgin, because o- , but now I’m not allowed to. So a better question for this article is “Why won’t baby boomers let queer people donate blood, even though all the blood gets screened for HIV and aids anyway?” though, theres a lot of room for loopholes in the wording of it This fucking matters. Bias in medicine is bias that should not exist. Fucking fix it.
Alive, College, and Fucking: Side Effects
 Follow
 ECTS @SideEffectsNews
 Why aren't millennials giving blood?
 bit.ly/2fRZG5i
 5:14 PM 28 Sep 2017

 Belinda Blumenthal
 @philomenapunk
 Follow
 because we all gay
 ide Effects @SideEffectsNews
 Why aren't millennials giving blood? bit.ly/2fRZG5i
 11:29 AM 3 Oct 2017
 3,199 Retweets 11,051 Likes
the-modern-satyr:
seedydemigod:

captainfunkpunkandroll:

the-real-eye-to-see:
Didn’t even know people are not allowed to give blood if they are gay


That’s been the thing for years. The HIV scare of the ‘80s prohibited us from donating blood. And they still hold that against us despite the fact that that claim has been debunked over and over again.

the wording on the paperwork is “Are you a man who has had sexual intercourse with a man after 1980” or “Are you a woman who has had sexual intercourse with a man who has had sexual intercourse with another man since 1980” (this was a blood drive at my college  where majority of the students werent Alive in 1980.) I donated all the time back when I was a virgin, because o- , but now I’m not allowed to. So a better question for this article is “Why won’t baby boomers let queer people donate blood, even though all the blood gets screened for HIV and aids anyway?” though, theres a lot of room for loopholes in the wording of it   


This fucking matters. Bias in medicine is bias that should not exist. Fucking fix it.

the-modern-satyr: seedydemigod: captainfunkpunkandroll: the-real-eye-to-see: Didn’t even know people are not allowed to give blood if they...

Target, Tumblr, and Blog: catsuggest: waffles suggest: do your paperwork
Target, Tumblr, and Blog: catsuggest:

waffles suggest: do your paperwork

catsuggest: waffles suggest: do your paperwork

80s, Ass, and Bitch: floydmayweather M CAP'N CHIRONI CURTIS "FIVE-O" JA CKSON GO SNITCH OR DIE TELLIN floydmayweather Curtis "Confidential Informant" Jackson, you're mad because your oldest son Marquees mother doesn't want to be with you! Your Son, your own flesh and blood don't want nothing to do with you! You haven't had a hit song on radio in who knows when and you're definitely not hot enough to even sell records anymore so Interscope dropped you. You are jealous of any rapper, athlete or entertainer that's hot or got something going on for themselves. You are a certified snitch and we got paperwork to prove it. You talk about Ja-Rule but you stole his whole style and ran with it! You're the only self proclaimed gangster that's never put in work! You need to pay homage to the real 50cent for stealing his name and his storyline. Your claim to fame was getting shot numerous times & living to tell it and you think that's Gangster? Where at? You're currently living in a fucking apartment in Jersey, you are always in somebody else's business just to stay relevant. You should just become a blogger cause it's obvious you don't have nothing going on in your life. Are you mad that Kanye West ended your career? The only thing you got going on is Power and everybody watches that because Ghost is a dope ass character on the show. You can leave the show everybody will still watch Power, but out here in the real world l'm The Real Ghost. That's not a Mansion in Connecticut that you're in debt for, that's a dump, a money pit an oversizec trap house! lt was dope when Mike Tyson had it in the late 80's early 90's, but you couldn't afford to maintain it. You're always talking about somebody is broke, but the last time I checked it was Curtis Jackson that filed for bankruptcy not Floyd Mayweather. So quick to gossip like a Bitch, why don't you tell everybody how you got Herpes from DJ. Where's your memes for that huh? Or better yet, post on how your Coca-Cola deal wasn't really 300 million you fucking liar and tell how that spinning G-Unit necklace that somebody got robbed for was fake. Just remember, I was with you everyday and your driver Bruce was my driver also. I know where all your bones are buried, so be easy Curtis Jackson! And by the way, don't ask to borrow no more money from me. 👀
80s, Ass, and Bitch: floydmayweather
 M CAP'N CHIRONI
 CURTIS "FIVE-O" JA
 CKSON
 GO SNITCH
 OR
 DIE TELLIN

 floydmayweather Curtis "Confidential Informant" Jackson, you're mad
 because your oldest son Marquees mother doesn't want to be with you! Your
 Son, your own flesh and blood don't want nothing to do with you! You haven't
 had a hit song on radio in who knows when and you're definitely not hot
 enough to even sell records anymore so Interscope dropped you. You are
 jealous of any rapper, athlete or entertainer that's hot or got something going
 on for themselves. You are a certified snitch and we got paperwork to prove
 it. You talk about Ja-Rule but you stole his whole style and ran with it! You're
 the only self proclaimed gangster that's never put in work! You need to pay
 homage to the real 50cent for stealing his name and his storyline. Your claim
 to fame was getting shot numerous times & living to tell it and you think that's
 Gangster? Where at? You're currently living in a fucking apartment in Jersey,
 you are always in somebody else's business just to stay relevant. You should
 just become a blogger cause it's obvious you don't have nothing going on in
 your life. Are you mad that Kanye West ended your career? The only thing you
 got going on is Power and everybody watches that because Ghost is a dope
 ass character on the show. You can leave the show everybody will still watch
 Power, but out here in the real world l'm The Real Ghost. That's not a Mansion
 in Connecticut that you're in debt for, that's a dump, a money pit an oversizec
 trap house! lt was dope when Mike Tyson had it in the late 80's early 90's, but
 you couldn't afford to maintain it. You're always talking about somebody is
 broke, but the last time I checked it was Curtis Jackson that filed for
 bankruptcy not Floyd Mayweather. So quick to gossip like a Bitch, why don't
 you tell everybody how you got Herpes from DJ. Where's your memes for that
 huh? Or better yet, post on how your Coca-Cola deal wasn't really 300 million
 you fucking liar and tell how that spinning G-Unit necklace that somebody got
 robbed for was fake. Just remember, I was with you everyday and your driver
 Bruce was my driver also. I know where all your bones are buried, so be easy
 Curtis Jackson! And by the way, don't ask to borrow no more money from me.
👀

👀

Apparently, Ass, and Bad: bibliotecaria-d: ebonykain: karacat: othersideofforty: erinnightwalker: ripped-up-jeans-and-glitter: erinnightwalker: acaffeinejunkie: erinnightwalker: erinnightwalker: geostatonary: sixpenceee: “A house I pass on the way to work has this sculpture in its yard. Its about 8 feet tall.” (Source) “HELLO NEIGHBOR STEVE, I WOULD LIKE TO INVITE YOU TO BARBEQUE ON THE EVE OF THE BLOOD MOON.  I FEEL WE GOT OFF TO A BAD START.” “NEIGHBOR STEVE, DO YOU NOT WISH TO PARTAKE OF THE UNCLEAN FLESH-MEATS OF PIGS AND THE POLLUTED ESSENCES OF TOMATO?  PERHAPS YOU ARE A CAROLINA STYLE MAN, NEIGHBOR STEVE?” “PUT THE GUN AWAY NEIGHBOR STEVE, YOU KNOW I SHALL ONLY RISE AGAIN WITH THE DAWNING OF THE MOON.  WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH THIS MANY TIMES.” “LOOK AT THIS PICTURE MY SON DREW OF YOU AND CHILD TIMMY, YOUR SON.  ARE THEY NOT THE PICTURE OF PACT-MATES?  THIS COULD BE YOU AND ME, NEIGHBOR STEVE.” “YOU MISSED THE UNHOLY NEXUS OF POWER THAT IS THE KEY TO MY CORPOREAL FORM, NEIGHBOR STEVE.  YOU WILL NEED TO RELOAD NOW, SO I WILL GO INSIDE TO MY HELL-WIFE AND PUT YOU DOWN AS A SOLID ‘MAYBE’.“ I have the feeling that the families get along great except for Steve. Like, the wives are baking (questionable) brownies together, the kids are playing together, Antler Guy occasionally takes Son and Timmy to school (no car, just carries them in huge swinging strides through a nexus of ungoldly sights in a swirling netherworld shortcut. Sometimes they stop for McDonalds). Hell-wife gave them a potted Audrey Jr., Steve’s wife (who I now christen Sharon) gave them a begonia. One time Steve tries throwing holy water but all Antler Guy does is thank him, saying that no, Antler Guy isn’t Catholic but it’s the thought that counts, he is so kind to water his creeping deathshade vines regardless. For Christmas Antler Guy gives Steve a case of ammunition. To be funny/sarcastically mean Steve gets Antler Guy the world’s most hideous Christmas sweater, singing light-up reindeer included. He immediately regrets it because not only does Antler Guy love it and wears it for several months, it will never need batteries because Antler Guy powers it with his own eldritch aura. When they come back from a holiday to Hawaii, Steve is horrified to find out Sharon bought them matching Hawaiian shirts. He is even more horrified that his wife means it that if he doesn’t wear it he will forever sleep on the couch. I want to expand on this, since I see it’s still passing around and the ideas have grown in my brainmeats. What drives Steve up the wall and down the other side is how… normal… everyone treats the Abominations. (Yes, that is their last name. No, it is not a joke. Son was asked his last name for the standardized testing at school, had a quick conference with Timmy, and decided that Son Abomination sounded good, “Since my dad calls your dad the Abomination anyway and we can paint it on your mailbox just like the Henderson’s did theirs!”. Antler Guy agreed and did a lovely rendition of it for the mailbox, with only a few glyphs of soul-rending terror added to keep up to snuff.) The Great Plant Exchange went beautifully, though the Audrey Jr. (named Aubergine for the lovely shade of purple poison that drips from her fangs) is on a diet at the moment. She was in cahoots with the cat and the dog to get into the good people food and ate two frozen turkeys all herself. Now she’s restricted to the hallway table to answer the phone and the door. (Steve actually likes her, and keeps slipping her hotdogs when Sharon isn’t looking. Their door-to-door salesman rates have dropped dramatically since she changed abodes.) Hell-wife has almost gotten the begonia to bloom and say it’s first words. The homeowner’s association just loves the Abominations. All paperwork stamped and dotted, in on time and in triplicate. Antler Guy likes filing, says it reminds him of his old job. There is a resident who spent 20 years as a lawyer and they have long, animated conversations about all sorts of things that make Steve swear to never need legal counsel. Hell-wife joined the PTA and spearheaded a committee to fundraise in the fall with a haunted house. It was a county-wide hit, though the claims that a particularly rowdy group had been deliberately lost in a timeslip to the Outer Doors Of Chaos was firmly rebuffed. Most young people nowadays, it was agreed, just couldn’t appreciate flute music. Antler Guy really does try to connect with Steve. The surprise birthday party was perhaps a bit much, given that most participants do not have the ability to suddenly materialize in front of the guest of honor to give them a hug. Sharon assured them that Steve normally screams on his birthday, and the remains of the cake were heartily enjoyed by all. (A plate was saved for Steve once he came down from the treehouse.) After the Hawaii trip (which was a present for his birthday) and the Matching Shirt Ultimatum (which was Sharon’s attempt at patching things up with Antler Guy, he really was sad about the birthday screaming), Steve finally grabs his courage in both hands (plus the shotgun, which let’s face it is about as useful as a teddybear at the moment but it does comfort him) and confronts Antler Guy, about why such a group of……Abominations could possibly come to his quiet slice of suburban bliss. “……BUT NEIGHBOR STEVE, WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HERE.” “No no no, I read it in a book! Don’t you have to be invited or something?!” “WELL YES, TO THE HUMAN WORLD. BUT THIS IS NOT THE HUMAN WORLD AS YOUR THREE-DIMENSIONAL BRAIN PERCEIVES IT.” “What the hell does that mean?!!” “DID YOU NOT KNOW, NEIGHBOR STEVE? LEGALLY SPEAKING, ALL OF THE VASTNESS OF HUMAN SUBURBIA IS, IN FACT, A PART OF HELL.” “……..” “THE FLAMINGOES ARE THE BOUNDARY MARKERS. IT WAS DECIDED THAT THE FLAMING SKULLS WERE TOO KITSCHY FOR MODERN TIMES.” Reblogging cause I kind of want more of this…. Since you asked nicely ^_^ Antler Guy, as one may have noticed, is a calm sort of fellow. In the face of human atrocities he displays a curious Zen sort of state of mind. Timmy asks Son if he’d ever seen his dad angry, and Son hasn’t. (When asked, Timmy says that yeah his dad gets mad, but it’s like the Fitz-Simmon’s chihuahua down the street- mostly high-pitched noise and occasionally TV remote chewing. Sharon replaces the poor thing every 3 months or so.) When pressed (gently, at the monthly book club, and with many cups of tea and at least one daiquiri), Hellwife admits that this comes from serving many years at his old job. After the revelation of the nature of his neighborhood, Steve has not been overtly mean to Antler Guy. Not yet in the realm of friends, but vastly better than before. No more holy water, no more shotgun blasts. (Still the occasional jumpscare, but Antler Guy really can’t help that part.) They even occasionally share news over the fence as Antler Guy trains the creeping deathshade vines in proper oral hygiene, and Steve waters his lawn (and occasionally slips a goldfish cracker to a deathshade vine that looks particularly adorable. Aubergine has trained him well.) Which is how Antler Guy learns about the peeping tom that’s been plaguing the adjacent streets. Apparently the pervert has been getting bolder, and rattling doors. He almost broke into one apartment, whose occupants were a single mother and her daughter, Mildred. Millie, a shy girl who is a great horror fan and firm friends with Timmy and Son, had missed school because of it. Steve knew because Sharon had told him, on her way to deliver a tuna casserole and a double batch of brownies to the pair. (Sharon has been dubbed the unoffical mob boss of the Mother’s Mafia. She is quite pleased with this title.) He tells her to wait, confers briefly with Aubergine, and sends her along with, “Only as a loan, you know, but Auby wants to stretch her roots and she’d probably like getting all ribboned and curled anyway. Little girls still do that, right?” She has strict orders to bite anyone that makes Millie or her mother cry. (Steve is dubbed the official neighborhood marshmallow for this. The bookclub buys him a jar of marshmallow fluff in commemoration.) He turns to look at Antler Guy, and freezes, much as a chihuahua will when faced with a hungry hellhound. “You….you alright there buddy?” “Ň̵̴̫̫̙͙̻̞͈̫̥̪̱͈͈̯̍̀̀͆ͫ̒̿̄͗͘͡͝ͅO̊͑̑͒̎͑̃ͬͭͮ̅̔̆̃̉ͯ̇͗̀҉̵̻̜̞͉̟͙͚̻̪̼̖̀͟ͅ.̵͈̣͈̙̣̜̻̭̩̝̠̞͗ͤͥ̓͗ͬ̓̄͊̓̅̐ͩͮͧͤ̽̐ “ “Uh, yeah, I guess not. Did you, uh, know you’re kinda fuzzing at the edges, there?” “Ň̵̴̫̫̙͙̻̞͈̫̥̪̱͈͈̯̍̀̀͆ͫ̒̿̄͗͘͡͝ͅO̊͑̑͒̎͑̃ͬͭͮ̅̔̆̃̉ͯ̇͗̀҉̵̻̜̞͉̟͙͚̻̪̼̖̀͟ͅ.̵͈̣͈̙̣̜̻̭̩̝̠̞͗ͤͥ̓͗ͬ̓̄͊̓̅̐ͩͮͧͤ̽̐ “ “Right. Um. Well.” Steven makes a very ungraceful exit when space starts bending around Antler Guy’s still, unmoving form. When Steve sees a shadowy form in his back yard when he gets up to pee that night, there’s no hesitation. He grabs the shotgun from the cabinet and peeks out the back door window. Just in time to see a nebulous form of soul-wrenching terror engulf the man reaching for the door handle. A sliver of moonlight reveals a very familiar eyesocket. After a moment (and a sincere prayer of thanks that he had already peed, cause otherwise he’d have done it then and there) Steve opens the door. The nebulous form freezes, reality bending around the edges. “Nice night for it, huh?” “…..Y̮̮͍͔͇͙͙̟̐͌͛̓̏͞͡Eͩͭͮ̓̍ͯ̀ͧ͏̵̴̛̺̠̱͕̕ͅS͈̹̮̟̳̪̩̘͍̤̲̻͈̱̳̽̋́ͩ̃͋̎ͩ̈͆̀͘͢͢͟ͅ.̧̢͈̭̝̥̦͚͍̇ͫ̃̓͆̿̇ͪ͊ͧ̃͛͌͜͢ “ “Guy won’t scare anymore litttle girls, will he?” “Ň̵̴̫̫̙͙̻̞͈̫̥̪̱͈͈̯̍̀̀͆ͫ̒̿̄͗͘͡͝ͅO̊͑̑͒̎͑̃ͬͭͮ̅̔̆̃̉ͯ̇͗̀҉̵̻̜̞͉̟͙͚̻̪̼̖̀͟ͅ.̵͈̣͈̙̣̜̻̭̩̝̠̞͗ͤͥ̓͗ͬ̓̄͊̓̅̐ͩͮͧͤ̽̐ “ “Good. G’night then. Oh, and if Hellwife has an extra Audrey Jr. that needs a home, let me know. Millie likes Aubergine a lot but Augy’s just too big for the apartment. Dunno if they come in miniatures though.” “ I̴̛̟̭͉̮̜̩̬̮̣̘̰͚̩͙̟̳͔̜̙͑̂̆̆͗͒̀ ͖̖̰͉̥͖͔̙̤̺͍̳͈̹͙̣̞̇̇ͤ͒̅̈́͆̽ͧ́̚̚̕͘W̶̶̱͈̞͖̼̟̣̮̌͂͒̈́͑͌͒͋̍ͮ͗̈ͣ̓ͤ͘͟I̴̶̞̥̩͇̔ͩͦ̇̉̾ͣͬ̀̀̒͒ͧ͛͌͛͆̚͘͢ͅͅL̠̟͕̠̟̪̰̻ͯ͂͊ͥ̍̏͋̐ͬ̉̆̈̀͠L̸̞̭͔̮ͦ͑̉ͮͩ́ͬͨͣ͘͜.̴͈͎̮͇͓͖̱̻̣͊͊ͤͩ͊̑͗͞ ̸̡̩̖̞̩̻̩̪̭͙̳͚͇̟̺͖̑͊ͫ̀͆ͨ̉̔̓̂̓̋T̷̷̟͉̟̻̻̪̞̰̯̻͈̣̰̬̻̾͐́ͭ̓̅́͡H͇̬̪̩̬̝̣͍͈͇ͯ͛̏͌ͮͧͭͦ͟͜A̴̴̤͕͈̤̮̞̱̯͔͕̙͔͖̰̬̰͈̠ͥ̏ͥ̍̽ͧ̀͝N͗̓͋̃̈̑̀̅ͣ̽̒̂̄ͯͩͤ͏̢͢͏͈̯͎̪͇̟̠͔̯͓͓̰̠̱̠̳͕̳͝K̢̓ͧ͛͛ͣ̄̓̓ͯ̍̈̈́̌͂̔͟҉̛̘̥̖̤̦̻̳͙͟ ̢̢̻̥̹̣̞͉̘͇͚͍̖̯̘͚͔̗̩͓͐ͮ͂͂̀̚͘͠Y̜̞͇̳̗̬͎̰̙̜̩̪͎̞̙̠̔͂̌̃́̀O͇̺̲͙͍̬̳̘͈̱̜̝͔̖̊ͥ̿ͫͤͫͫͩ͋̓̃ͦ̈̄͢͟Ū̢͖̲̦̠̤͎̙͉̦͖̖͓͍̺̺ͪͯ͐͆͆ͭͯ͗ͦ̄̅̌̈̃̾ͭ̋ͧ͢͢͠͡.̶̸̞͓̞̹̗̻̣͈͕̠̬̦ͫ̆ͤͬͨͦ͒͂ͨ̿ͩͪ͘͞.ͧ͛̒̂̂͗ͨ̌͆ͥͭ͒̉͘͜͏̙͖̰̝̙̲͓̙͕͍̥̳̩́͠.̶̷̮͎̱̼̬͖̰͎͚͙̥̓͋͋ͦ̓̓ͯ͆͛̏ͫ̅ͯ.̨̧̙̤̳̮̺̙͖̞͔̗͎͍̑̆ͮ͐ͩͦ̌̽̾̏͘͠.̹̖͕̮͕̞̰͍͚͖̌ͪ̃̐̐̌̌̅̉͑ͧͪͪͬ̓͐́͛̿͘͞ ….NEIGHBOR STEVE.” “Anytime.” There are no more peeping reports. Millie brings back Aubergine and spends an entire afternoon teaching Steve the particulars of Augy’s new “hairstyle” (a gravity-defying mass of teased tendrils, ribbons, and barrettes) in between games of tag and hide-and-seek with Timmy and Son. When Antler Guy and Hellwife present her and her mother Beatrice with a tiny Audrey Jr. (”pOOr ThinG Is a ruNT And wOn’T geT MorE Than A FooT taLL, BEa, aNd NeeDS a New FRiEnD”, assures Hellwife), both mother and child burst out crying. Millie names it Bella, after Bella Lugosi, and shows it to the excited group of boys (Steve and Augy included). IT GOT SO MUCH BETTER!!!! Life in a subdivision partly populated with eldritch and possibly magical (officially classified as “extra-dimensional”, for even when faced with the physics-defying nature of their new co-habitating citizens the government cannot bring itself to acknowledge them as “magic wielding hell-beasts”, as some high-ranking staff members initially suggested) goes on fairly normally. Sure, there are a few hiccoughs. The creeping deathshade vines get a stern talking to about appropriate afternoon snacks (”NOT the Fitz-Simmon’s chihuahua, I don’t care how much he has it coming or what he excreted where, now spit it out!”), Aubergine sheds all her leaves at once and snowballs the house (but does helps sweep up afterwards), and moonrise is a good time to watch the night-gaunts fly by (but on moondark it’s best to stay inside, no matter how prettily they glow. They’re somewhat similar to fireflies, and don’t always check to see if their partner glows as well. It wouldn’t be as much of a problem if they didn’t dive mid-coitus and drop just above the ground.) While the neighborhood in general is accepting of the Abominations, when things get to be a bit much they tend to come to Steve. Since meeting Beatrice and Millie (and the formation of the Terrifying Triad known as Millie, Son, and Timmy) Steve is the adult human male most comfortable dealing with Antler Guy on the whole street. (Sharon as U.M.B. is widely held to have, well, steel-whatever-the-hell-she-wants, and Timmy is known to run over to Antler Guy and ask for rides through “that wobbly grey place, you know, the one with the REALLY BIG alligators?”. Still, the courtesies must be observed.) So when a writhing sparking ball of snarling terror and teeth takes up residence in the Manzo’s tool-shed, and when Animal Control refuses to come (the street is banned due to a run-in with the deathshade vines), Steve is called. Having heard the description, Steve brings Antler Guy. When they get there, Mr. Manzo is forcibly holding the door shut. Unholy yowling is coming from inside. At a gesture from Antler Guy, Mr. Manzo leaps away, and the doors blast open. A 150 pound ball of whimpering, flaming something hits Steve and knocks him on his ass. The whimpering, flaming something proceeds to slobber all over Steve, his shirt, his pants, and a decent portion of grass in between distressed yelps. “GACK!” “NEIGHBOR STEVE, ARE YOU IN DISTRESS?” “GAAACKLEARGHSPLUH- DOWN boy, HEEL, that’s a good- Antler Guy, what is this?!” “I BELIEVE IT IS A HELLHOUND, NEIGHBOR STEVE.” “Good grief, I didn’t know they came this big and…..and….. Guy?” “YES NEIGHBOR STEVE?” “Is he supposed to be…..skinless?” “YES NEIGHBOR STEVE. THIS VARIETY WAS BRED TO BE LAP DOGS. THEIR FLAME IS MOSTLY WITHOUT HEAT, AND THEY HAVE NO SKIN FOR THOSE WHO ARE ALLERGIC.” “…….laPDOG?!” “YES NEIGHBOR STEVE.” Antler Guy lays a hand on the hellhound, who tries to burrow further into Steve with little success. “HE APPEARS TO HAVE BEEN RECENTLY WEANED. IT WILL TAKE TIME FOR HIM TO GROW TO HIS FULL SIZE.” “……” “THE SMALL BREEDS GROW MORE SLOWLY.” A vile hissing emanates from the shed. (Mr. Manzo has long since fled for the safety of his kitchen.) As Steve attempts to calm the frantic hell-puppy, Antler Guy investigates. He reaches one long hand in behind the riding lawnmower and….. winces. “NEIGHBOR STEVE?” “Yeah- I’m right here, uh, doggie, not going anywhere- Guy?” “I APPEAR TO HAVE AN…. ATTACHMENT.” Steve is awed at the tiny ball of white fluff attached to one long, thin finger. He didn’t know that Antler Guy’s fingers COULD be bitten, much less by a tiny kitten. Which is how Steve and Sharon got Clifford (”Aww c’mon Sharon, how could I pass that one up?”), and Antler Guy and Hellwife get Fluffy (”NEIGHBOR STEVE ASSURES ME IT IS A TRADITIONAL TITLE.”) This might be the most amazing thing that ever crossed my tumblr dash OMIGOSH I’m in love. I LOVE EVERY BIT OF THIS This is like the stoplight post. It is Tumblr legend, and I feel I must reblog it for those fortunate few who get to experience it for the first time.
Apparently, Ass, and Bad: bibliotecaria-d:
ebonykain:

karacat:

othersideofforty:

erinnightwalker:

ripped-up-jeans-and-glitter:

erinnightwalker:


acaffeinejunkie:

erinnightwalker:

erinnightwalker:

geostatonary:

sixpenceee:

“A house I pass on the way to work has this sculpture in its yard. Its about 8 feet tall.”
(Source)

“HELLO NEIGHBOR STEVE, I WOULD LIKE TO INVITE YOU TO BARBEQUE ON THE EVE OF THE BLOOD MOON.  I FEEL WE GOT OFF TO A BAD START.”
“NEIGHBOR STEVE, DO YOU NOT WISH TO PARTAKE OF THE UNCLEAN FLESH-MEATS OF PIGS AND THE POLLUTED ESSENCES OF TOMATO?  PERHAPS YOU ARE A CAROLINA STYLE MAN, NEIGHBOR STEVE?”
 “PUT THE GUN AWAY NEIGHBOR STEVE, YOU KNOW I SHALL ONLY RISE AGAIN WITH THE DAWNING OF THE MOON.  WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH THIS MANY TIMES.”
“LOOK AT THIS PICTURE MY SON DREW OF YOU AND CHILD TIMMY, YOUR SON.  ARE THEY NOT THE PICTURE OF PACT-MATES?  THIS COULD BE YOU AND ME, NEIGHBOR STEVE.”
“YOU MISSED THE UNHOLY NEXUS OF POWER THAT IS THE KEY TO MY CORPOREAL FORM, NEIGHBOR STEVE.  YOU WILL NEED TO RELOAD NOW, SO I WILL GO INSIDE TO MY HELL-WIFE AND PUT YOU DOWN AS A SOLID ‘MAYBE’.“

I have the feeling that the families get along great except for Steve. Like, the wives are baking (questionable) brownies together, the kids are playing together, Antler Guy occasionally takes Son and Timmy to school (no car, just carries them in huge swinging strides through a nexus of ungoldly sights in a swirling netherworld shortcut. Sometimes they stop for McDonalds). Hell-wife gave them a potted Audrey Jr., Steve’s wife (who I now christen Sharon) gave them a begonia.
One time Steve tries throwing holy water but all Antler Guy does is thank him, saying that no, Antler Guy isn’t Catholic but it’s the thought that counts, he is so kind to water his creeping deathshade vines regardless.
For Christmas Antler Guy gives Steve a case of ammunition. To be funny/sarcastically mean Steve gets Antler Guy the world’s most hideous Christmas sweater, singing light-up reindeer included. He immediately regrets it because not only does Antler Guy love it and wears it for several months, it will never need batteries because Antler Guy powers it with his own eldritch aura.
When they come back from a holiday to Hawaii, Steve is horrified to find out Sharon bought them matching Hawaiian shirts. He is even more horrified that his wife means it that if he doesn’t wear it he will forever sleep on the couch.

I want to expand on this, since I see it’s still passing around and the ideas have grown in my brainmeats.
What drives Steve up the wall and down the other side is how… normal… everyone treats the Abominations. (Yes, that is their last name. No, it is not a joke. Son was asked his last name for the standardized testing at school, had a quick conference with Timmy, and decided that Son Abomination sounded good, “Since my dad calls your dad the Abomination anyway and we can paint it on your mailbox just like the Henderson’s did theirs!”. Antler Guy agreed and did a lovely rendition of it for the mailbox, with only a few glyphs of soul-rending terror added to keep up to snuff.)
The Great Plant Exchange went beautifully, though the Audrey Jr. (named Aubergine for the lovely shade of purple poison that drips from her fangs) is on a diet at the moment. She was in cahoots with the cat and the dog to get into the good people food and ate two frozen turkeys all herself. Now she’s restricted to the hallway table to answer the phone and the door. (Steve actually likes her, and keeps slipping her hotdogs when Sharon isn’t looking. Their door-to-door salesman rates have dropped dramatically since she changed abodes.) Hell-wife has almost gotten the begonia to bloom and say it’s first words.
The homeowner’s association just loves the Abominations. All paperwork stamped and dotted, in on time and in triplicate. Antler Guy likes filing, says it reminds him of his old job. There is a resident who spent 20 years as a lawyer and they have long, animated conversations about all sorts of things that make Steve swear to never need legal counsel.
Hell-wife joined the PTA and spearheaded a committee to fundraise in the fall with a haunted house. It was a county-wide hit, though the claims that a particularly rowdy group had been deliberately lost in a timeslip to the Outer Doors Of Chaos was firmly rebuffed. Most young people nowadays, it was agreed, just couldn’t appreciate flute music.
Antler Guy really does try to connect with Steve. The surprise birthday party was perhaps a bit much, given that most participants do not have the ability to suddenly materialize in front of the guest of honor to give them a hug. Sharon assured them that Steve normally screams on his birthday, and the remains of the cake were heartily enjoyed by all. (A plate was saved for Steve once he came down from the treehouse.)
After the Hawaii trip (which was a present for his birthday) and the Matching Shirt Ultimatum (which was Sharon’s attempt at patching things up with Antler Guy, he really was sad about the birthday screaming), Steve finally grabs his courage in both hands (plus the shotgun, which let’s face it is about as useful as a teddybear at the moment but it does comfort him) and confronts Antler Guy, about why such a group of……Abominations could possibly come to his quiet slice of suburban bliss.
“……BUT NEIGHBOR STEVE, WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HERE.”
“No no no, I read it in a book! Don’t you have to be invited or something?!”
“WELL YES, TO THE HUMAN WORLD. BUT THIS IS NOT THE HUMAN WORLD AS YOUR THREE-DIMENSIONAL BRAIN PERCEIVES IT.”
“What the hell does that mean?!!”
“DID YOU NOT KNOW, NEIGHBOR STEVE? LEGALLY SPEAKING, ALL OF THE VASTNESS OF HUMAN SUBURBIA IS, IN FACT, A PART OF HELL.”
“……..”
“THE FLAMINGOES ARE THE BOUNDARY MARKERS. IT WAS DECIDED THAT THE FLAMING SKULLS WERE TOO KITSCHY FOR MODERN TIMES.”

Reblogging cause I kind of want more of this….


Since you asked nicely ^_^
Antler Guy, as one may have noticed, is a calm sort of fellow. In the face of human atrocities he displays a curious Zen sort of state of mind. Timmy asks Son if he’d ever seen his dad angry, and Son hasn’t. (When asked, Timmy says that yeah his dad gets mad, but it’s like the Fitz-Simmon’s chihuahua down the street- mostly high-pitched noise and occasionally TV remote chewing. Sharon replaces the poor thing every 3 months or so.) When pressed (gently, at the monthly book club, and with many cups of tea and at least one daiquiri), Hellwife admits that this comes from serving many years at his old job.
After the revelation of the nature of his neighborhood, Steve has not been overtly mean to Antler Guy. Not yet in the realm of friends, but vastly better than before. No more holy water, no more shotgun blasts. (Still the occasional jumpscare, but Antler Guy really can’t help that part.) They even occasionally share news over the fence as Antler Guy trains the creeping deathshade vines in proper oral hygiene, and Steve waters his lawn (and occasionally slips a goldfish cracker to a deathshade vine that looks particularly adorable. Aubergine has trained him well.)
Which is how Antler Guy learns about the peeping tom that’s been plaguing the adjacent streets. Apparently the pervert has been getting bolder, and rattling doors. He almost broke into one apartment, whose occupants were a single mother and her daughter, Mildred. Millie, a shy girl who is a great horror fan and firm friends with Timmy and Son, had missed school because of it.
Steve knew because Sharon had told him, on her way to deliver a tuna casserole and a double batch of brownies to the pair. (Sharon has been dubbed the unoffical mob boss of the Mother’s Mafia. She is quite pleased with this title.) He tells her to wait, confers briefly with Aubergine, and sends her along with, “Only as a loan, you know, but Auby wants to stretch her roots and she’d probably like getting all ribboned and curled anyway. Little girls still do that, right?” She has strict orders to bite anyone that makes Millie or her mother cry. (Steve is dubbed the official neighborhood marshmallow for this. The bookclub buys him a jar of marshmallow fluff in commemoration.)
He turns to look at Antler Guy, and freezes, much as a chihuahua will when faced with a hungry hellhound.
“You….you alright there buddy?”



“Ň̵̴̫̫̙͙̻̞͈̫̥̪̱͈͈̯̍̀̀͆ͫ̒̿̄͗͘͡͝ͅO̊͑̑͒̎͑̃ͬͭͮ̅̔̆̃̉ͯ̇͗̀҉̵̻̜̞͉̟͙͚̻̪̼̖̀͟ͅ.̵͈̣͈̙̣̜̻̭̩̝̠̞͗ͤͥ̓͗ͬ̓̄͊̓̅̐ͩͮͧͤ̽̐ “

“Uh, yeah, I guess not. Did you, uh, know you’re kinda fuzzing at the edges, there?”



“Ň̵̴̫̫̙͙̻̞͈̫̥̪̱͈͈̯̍̀̀͆ͫ̒̿̄͗͘͡͝ͅO̊͑̑͒̎͑̃ͬͭͮ̅̔̆̃̉ͯ̇͗̀҉̵̻̜̞͉̟͙͚̻̪̼̖̀͟ͅ.̵͈̣͈̙̣̜̻̭̩̝̠̞͗ͤͥ̓͗ͬ̓̄͊̓̅̐ͩͮͧͤ̽̐ “

“Right. Um. Well.” 
Steven makes a very ungraceful exit when space starts bending around Antler Guy’s still, unmoving form.
When Steve sees a shadowy form in his back yard when he gets up to pee that night, there’s no hesitation. He grabs the shotgun from the cabinet and peeks out the back door window.
Just in time to see a nebulous form of soul-wrenching terror engulf the man reaching for the door handle. A sliver of moonlight reveals a very familiar eyesocket. After a moment (and a sincere prayer of thanks that he had already peed, cause otherwise he’d have done it then and there) Steve opens the door. The nebulous form freezes, reality bending around the edges.
“Nice night for it, huh?”


“…..Y̮̮͍͔͇͙͙̟̐͌͛̓̏͞͡Eͩͭͮ̓̍ͯ̀ͧ͏̵̴̛̺̠̱͕̕ͅS͈̹̮̟̳̪̩̘͍̤̲̻͈̱̳̽̋́ͩ̃͋̎ͩ̈͆̀͘͢͢͟ͅ.̧̢͈̭̝̥̦͚͍̇ͫ̃̓͆̿̇ͪ͊ͧ̃͛͌͜͢

“

“Guy won’t scare anymore litttle girls, will he?”



“Ň̵̴̫̫̙͙̻̞͈̫̥̪̱͈͈̯̍̀̀͆ͫ̒̿̄͗͘͡͝ͅO̊͑̑͒̎͑̃ͬͭͮ̅̔̆̃̉ͯ̇͗̀҉̵̻̜̞͉̟͙͚̻̪̼̖̀͟ͅ.̵͈̣͈̙̣̜̻̭̩̝̠̞͗ͤͥ̓͗ͬ̓̄͊̓̅̐ͩͮͧͤ̽̐ “

“Good. G’night then. Oh, and if Hellwife has an extra Audrey Jr. that needs a home, let me know. Millie likes Aubergine a lot but Augy’s just too big for the apartment. Dunno if they come in miniatures though.”


“
I̴̛̟̭͉̮̜̩̬̮̣̘̰͚̩͙̟̳͔̜̙͑̂̆̆͗͒̀ 
͖̖̰͉̥͖͔̙̤̺͍̳͈̹͙̣̞̇̇ͤ͒̅̈́͆̽ͧ́̚̚̕͘W̶̶̱͈̞͖̼̟̣̮̌͂͒̈́͑͌͒͋̍ͮ͗̈ͣ̓ͤ͘͟I̴̶̞̥̩͇̔ͩͦ̇̉̾ͣͬ̀̀̒͒ͧ͛͌͛͆̚͘͢ͅͅL̠̟͕̠̟̪̰̻ͯ͂͊ͥ̍̏͋̐ͬ̉̆̈̀͠L̸̞̭͔̮ͦ͑̉ͮͩ́ͬͨͣ͘͜.̴͈͎̮͇͓͖̱̻̣͊͊ͤͩ͊̑͗͞
 
̸̡̩̖̞̩̻̩̪̭͙̳͚͇̟̺͖̑͊ͫ̀͆ͨ̉̔̓̂̓̋T̷̷̟͉̟̻̻̪̞̰̯̻͈̣̰̬̻̾͐́ͭ̓̅́͡H͇̬̪̩̬̝̣͍͈͇ͯ͛̏͌ͮͧͭͦ͟͜A̴̴̤͕͈̤̮̞̱̯͔͕̙͔͖̰̬̰͈̠ͥ̏ͥ̍̽ͧ̀͝N͗̓͋̃̈̑̀̅ͣ̽̒̂̄ͯͩͤ͏̢͢͏͈̯͎̪͇̟̠͔̯͓͓̰̠̱̠̳͕̳͝K̢̓ͧ͛͛ͣ̄̓̓ͯ̍̈̈́̌͂̔͟҉̛̘̥̖̤̦̻̳͙͟
 
̢̢̻̥̹̣̞͉̘͇͚͍̖̯̘͚͔̗̩͓͐ͮ͂͂̀̚͘͠Y̜̞͇̳̗̬͎̰̙̜̩̪͎̞̙̠̔͂̌̃́̀O͇̺̲͙͍̬̳̘͈̱̜̝͔̖̊ͥ̿ͫͤͫͫͩ͋̓̃ͦ̈̄͢͟Ū̢͖̲̦̠̤͎̙͉̦͖̖͓͍̺̺ͪͯ͐͆͆ͭͯ͗ͦ̄̅̌̈̃̾ͭ̋ͧ͢͢͠͡.̶̸̞͓̞̹̗̻̣͈͕̠̬̦ͫ̆ͤͬͨͦ͒͂ͨ̿ͩͪ͘͞.ͧ͛̒̂̂͗ͨ̌͆ͥͭ͒̉͘͜͏̙͖̰̝̙̲͓̙͕͍̥̳̩́͠.̶̷̮͎̱̼̬͖̰͎͚͙̥̓͋͋ͦ̓̓ͯ͆͛̏ͫ̅ͯ.̨̧̙̤̳̮̺̙͖̞͔̗͎͍̑̆ͮ͐ͩͦ̌̽̾̏͘͠.̹̖͕̮͕̞̰͍͚͖̌ͪ̃̐̐̌̌̅̉͑ͧͪͪͬ̓͐́͛̿͘͞ ….NEIGHBOR STEVE.”

“Anytime.”
There are no more peeping reports. Millie brings back Aubergine and spends an entire afternoon teaching Steve the particulars of Augy’s new “hairstyle” (a gravity-defying mass of teased tendrils, ribbons, and barrettes) in between games of tag and hide-and-seek with Timmy and Son.
When Antler Guy and Hellwife present her and her mother Beatrice with a tiny Audrey Jr. (”pOOr ThinG Is a ruNT And wOn’T geT MorE Than A FooT taLL, BEa, aNd NeeDS a New FRiEnD”, assures Hellwife), both mother and child burst out crying. Millie names it Bella, after Bella Lugosi, and shows it to the excited group of boys (Steve and Augy included).


IT GOT SO MUCH BETTER!!!!

Life in a subdivision partly populated with eldritch and possibly magical (officially classified as “extra-dimensional”, for even when faced with the physics-defying nature of their new co-habitating citizens the government cannot bring itself to acknowledge them as “magic wielding hell-beasts”, as some high-ranking staff members initially suggested) goes on fairly normally. 
Sure, there are a few hiccoughs. The creeping deathshade vines get a stern talking to about appropriate afternoon snacks (”NOT the Fitz-Simmon’s chihuahua, I don’t care how much he has it coming or what he excreted where, now spit it out!”), Aubergine sheds all her leaves at once and snowballs the house (but does helps sweep up afterwards), and moonrise is a good time to watch the night-gaunts fly by (but on moondark it’s best to stay inside, no matter how prettily they glow. They’re somewhat similar to fireflies, and don’t always check to see if their partner glows as well. It wouldn’t be as much of a problem if they didn’t dive mid-coitus and drop just above the ground.)
While the neighborhood in general is accepting of the Abominations, when things get to be a bit much they tend to come to Steve. Since meeting Beatrice and Millie (and the formation of the Terrifying Triad known as Millie, Son, and Timmy) Steve is the adult human male most comfortable dealing with Antler Guy on the whole street. (Sharon as U.M.B. is widely held to have, well, steel-whatever-the-hell-she-wants, and Timmy is known to run over to Antler Guy and ask for rides through “that wobbly grey place, you know, the one with the REALLY BIG alligators?”. Still, the courtesies must be observed.)
So when a writhing sparking ball of snarling terror and teeth takes up residence in the Manzo’s tool-shed, and when Animal Control refuses to come (the street is banned due to a run-in with the deathshade vines), Steve is called. Having heard the description, Steve brings Antler Guy.
When they get there, Mr. Manzo is forcibly holding the door shut. Unholy yowling is coming from inside. At a gesture from Antler Guy, Mr. Manzo leaps away, and the doors blast open.
A 150 pound ball of whimpering, flaming something hits Steve and knocks him on his ass. The whimpering, flaming something proceeds to slobber all over Steve, his shirt, his pants, and a decent portion of grass in between distressed yelps.
“GACK!”
“NEIGHBOR STEVE, ARE YOU IN DISTRESS?”
“GAAACKLEARGHSPLUH- DOWN boy, HEEL, that’s a good- Antler Guy, what is this?!”
“I BELIEVE IT IS A HELLHOUND, NEIGHBOR STEVE.”
“Good grief, I didn’t know they came this big and…..and….. Guy?”
“YES NEIGHBOR STEVE?”
“Is he supposed to be…..skinless?”
“YES NEIGHBOR STEVE. THIS VARIETY WAS BRED TO BE LAP DOGS. THEIR FLAME IS MOSTLY WITHOUT HEAT, AND THEY HAVE NO SKIN FOR THOSE WHO ARE ALLERGIC.”
“…….laPDOG?!”
“YES NEIGHBOR STEVE.” Antler Guy lays a hand on the hellhound, who tries to burrow further into Steve with little success. “HE APPEARS TO HAVE BEEN RECENTLY WEANED. IT WILL TAKE TIME FOR HIM TO GROW TO HIS FULL SIZE.”
“……”
“THE SMALL BREEDS GROW MORE SLOWLY.”
A vile hissing emanates from the shed. (Mr. Manzo has long since fled for the safety of his kitchen.) As Steve attempts to calm the frantic hell-puppy, Antler Guy investigates. He reaches one long hand in behind the riding lawnmower and….. winces.
“NEIGHBOR STEVE?”
“Yeah- I’m right here, uh, doggie, not going anywhere- Guy?”
“I APPEAR TO HAVE AN…. ATTACHMENT.”
Steve is awed at the tiny ball of white fluff attached to one long, thin finger. He didn’t know that Antler Guy’s fingers COULD be bitten, much less by a tiny kitten.
Which is how Steve and Sharon got Clifford (”Aww c’mon Sharon, how could I pass that one up?”), and Antler Guy and Hellwife get Fluffy (”NEIGHBOR STEVE ASSURES ME IT IS A TRADITIONAL TITLE.”)


This might be the most amazing thing that ever crossed my tumblr dash


OMIGOSH I’m in love.


I LOVE EVERY BIT OF THIS

This is like the stoplight post. It is Tumblr legend, and I feel I must reblog it for those fortunate few who get to experience it for the first time.

bibliotecaria-d: ebonykain: karacat: othersideofforty: erinnightwalker: ripped-up-jeans-and-glitter: erinnightwalker: acaffeinejunkie...

Fucking, Shit, and Shoes: To The Cockless Queefbag Who Hod My Vehicle Unlawfully Towed Last Night, Jan 23 That's right. Unlawfully. This is not a signed lot. And yes, I had paying for the privilege to park here on my lease like everyone every right to be there with or without signage, as I was else. But you, you self righteous, vacuous piece of genetic plankton, took it upon yourself to have me towed. Did I mention I have a fucking pneumonia and was scheduled to be in the hospital today? Did you know I missed my window to get my medication? Did you know that you are, in fact, a dickless asshole? Did you also know that the "Tow King" is required by law to provide me with your name and address and that soon-oh very soon-you and I will have words. I suspect you're also the gutless pile of shit who keeps kicking in my tires and spitting on my car. You fucking sociopath. If my dashcam ever catches you doing that shit, every pair of shoes you wear from now on will be attached to your goddamn kneecaps. Since I know you're too gutless to come forward I'm going to let you sit while I file the necessary paperwork to have you taken to small claims court where you will be required to pay not just my fees, but the fees of Mac Properties who had to bail my car out for unlawful detainment. And you can sit and think about what fun, clever thing I'm going to do to get evern with you, you gutless little shit. Did you know that you are, in fact, a dickless asshole?
Fucking, Shit, and Shoes: To The Cockless Queefbag Who Hod My Vehicle Unlawfully
 Towed Last Night, Jan 23
 That's right. Unlawfully. This is not a signed lot. And yes, I had
 paying for the privilege to park here on my lease like everyone
 every right to be there with or without signage, as I was
 else. But you, you self righteous, vacuous piece of genetic
 plankton, took it upon yourself to have me towed. Did I
 mention I have a fucking pneumonia and was scheduled to be
 in the hospital today? Did you know I missed my window to
 get my medication? Did you know that you are, in fact, a
 dickless asshole?
 Did you also know that the "Tow King" is required by law to
 provide me with your name and address and that soon-oh
 very soon-you and I will have words. I suspect you're also
 the gutless pile of shit who keeps kicking in my tires and
 spitting on my car. You fucking sociopath. If my dashcam ever
 catches you doing that shit, every pair of shoes you wear from
 now on will be attached to your goddamn kneecaps.
 Since I know you're too gutless to come forward I'm going to
 let you sit while I file the necessary paperwork to have you
 taken to small claims court where you will be required to pay
 not just my fees, but the fees of Mac Properties who had to
 bail my car out for unlawful detainment. And you can sit and
 think about what fun, clever thing I'm going to do to get evern
 with you, you gutless little shit.
Did you know that you are, in fact, a dickless asshole?

Did you know that you are, in fact, a dickless asshole?

Fucking, Shit, and Shoes: To The Cockless Queefbag Who Hod My Vehicle Unlawfully Towed Last Night, Jan 23 That's right. Unlawfully. This is not a signed lot. And yes, I had paying for the privilege to park here on my lease like everyone every right to be there with or without signage, as I was else. But you, you self righteous, vacuous piece of genetic plankton, took it upon yourself to have me towed. Did I mention I have a fucking pneumonia and was scheduled to be in the hospital today? Did you know I missed my window to get my medication? Did you know that you are, in fact, a dickless asshole? Did you also know that the "Tow King" is required by law to provide me with your name and address and that soon-oh very soon-you and I will have words. I suspect you're also the gutless pile of shit who keeps kicking in my tires and spitting on my car. You fucking sociopath. If my dashcam ever catches you doing that shit, every pair of shoes you wear from now on will be attached to your goddamn kneecaps. Since I know you're too gutless to come forward I'm going to let you sit while I file the necessary paperwork to have you taken to small claims court where you will be required to pay not just my fees, but the fees of Mac Properties who had to bail my car out for unlawful detainment. And you can sit and think about what fun, clever thing I'm going to do to get evern with you, you gutless little shit. Did you know that you are, in fact, a dickless asshole?
Fucking, Shit, and Shoes: To The Cockless Queefbag Who Hod My Vehicle Unlawfully
 Towed Last Night, Jan 23
 That's right. Unlawfully. This is not a signed lot. And yes, I had
 paying for the privilege to park here on my lease like everyone
 every right to be there with or without signage, as I was
 else. But you, you self righteous, vacuous piece of genetic
 plankton, took it upon yourself to have me towed. Did I
 mention I have a fucking pneumonia and was scheduled to be
 in the hospital today? Did you know I missed my window to
 get my medication? Did you know that you are, in fact, a
 dickless asshole?
 Did you also know that the "Tow King" is required by law to
 provide me with your name and address and that soon-oh
 very soon-you and I will have words. I suspect you're also
 the gutless pile of shit who keeps kicking in my tires and
 spitting on my car. You fucking sociopath. If my dashcam ever
 catches you doing that shit, every pair of shoes you wear from
 now on will be attached to your goddamn kneecaps.
 Since I know you're too gutless to come forward I'm going to
 let you sit while I file the necessary paperwork to have you
 taken to small claims court where you will be required to pay
 not just my fees, but the fees of Mac Properties who had to
 bail my car out for unlawful detainment. And you can sit and
 think about what fun, clever thing I'm going to do to get evern
 with you, you gutless little shit.
Did you know that you are, in fact, a dickless asshole?

Did you know that you are, in fact, a dickless asshole?

America, Anaconda, and Doctor: 2018 CONGRESSIONAL DISTRICT CENSUS Congressional Datrict Masount Docurrent Tracking Code: N18PM113 SECOND NOTICE ent a 1 -you never Never agan DRNER EXCLUGNELY TO be qv eshon DOMESTKC Official census docue otart ecoronic issn a " missile defense shield" for our nation to protect us from future n? 6. Should the U.S. take a more muscular attitude toward Russia and should be guaranteed the right to choose their own 7. Do you agree that our federal government must go all out to combat Yes O No No Opinion missile threats? 15. Do you believe more federal laws that impede individuals' Second Amendment rights are the proper response to gun violence in our natio D Yes □No □ No Opinion China as they move to establish themselves as military and economic 16. Do you agree that in response to the Department of Veterans Affairs No Opinion veterans that t doctor and have full access to care outside the VA? cyberattacks on our nation's government, businesses, and infrastructure? □Yes O No Opinion D No Opinion SECTION V- CERTIFICATION AND REPLY 1. Can the Republican National Committee count on your help to deliver By the ake America na wnen hehinkherefitling out the US □$100 $500 $1,000 Other $ the enclosed 2018 Congressional Please chec employed District Census Contributions to the Republican National Committee are not deductible for federal income tax purposes. Contributions from corporations and foreign nationals are prohibited. To have a direct impact you may also contribute to the Republican National Committee while online at www.GOP.com/Census2018 Please make your personal check payable to: RNC 310 First Street SE . Washington, D C 20 or 43017 2018 Congressional District Census Commissioned by the Republican Party Ronna McDaniel Chairwoman March 30, 2018 Dear Ms. Stone Enacting President Trump's agenda is going to take a massive grassroots effort all across America. It is a battle we m st win. And we must maintain Republican control of Congress to do it That is why an the irw e Rep blican Nationa concerned that you ha namenl sent to you a the request of resicent Tump. DOCUMENT that was regist few being mailed into Missoun's 3rd Congressional District. Enclosed is your official 2018 name as a representatve of Saint Charles was one of the select Ms. Stone, I am sendir other copy because your registered Census CONGRESSİONAL DISTI CT CENSUS DOCUMENT registered CODE #NISPH is in your e largest Congressional District Census ouP y en for a mideelection and we nesd your personal involver ent to make this essential project uccessiul. Compland returning your 1018 Census document is en trl to our abilit urrnt serch shos that the nation ide ong essional District Census we lave been ng President Trump's agenda and will be a deciding factor in who gether the critanformation and voter profiles needed to target condud ing is he pitha RN audiend es with t wins in November But withour nation so politically divided and the Dşmocrats and mainstream media spreading ving to be difficult to et the real facts fak neys about President Trump and his Presidency teso vecollect and update o sae o what Doald Trump has acc m the co ntry. That is whsr hattyou etu your Census istrict and inmaio on yoers ingto Make America em Ms. Stone, your participation in this national effort will provide us with the detailed data we oncerning Missouri's3 os orta w the liberal empcrats in Congress and the radical speci interegrou ps a d thr left-wing allies in the media tht advance is legisla agenda has the supp e Amer can pe your 2 ,186 (AGRESSIONATBISİ CENSUS and do act now to c your best to get it back to me at RNC Headquarters by April 30th. lease include a generous cont buton of $25, $50, $100, $250, $500, $1,000 d to help underwteeof this proAnd is hance our voter ethe Your grassroots operaton Ap ter tUI T all Anericans, and elect vels of government wI upper Presdt rm s eftrts I'm making this special appeal for your financial help because we cannot continue to ake major progress in taking our country back as long as the Democrats and the liberal media ent our message and hold President Trump's Presidency hostage. It is absolutely vital isrepres that we have the funds to fight back- and most important-maintain our Republican Over, please 310 First Street, SE Washington, DC 20003 1-800-445-5768 www.GOP com veronicasanders: houseoftombombadil: The RNC sent me a notice of official census material that was actually a fundraiser for the republican candidates running in the midterms. The paperwork was presented as being an official document required to be filled out by law, but it was patently false. This is corruption. This is meant to deceive people into giving data and money to a political party under the guise of nonpartisan census data. This undermines trust in the census, local government, and the democratic process. This is beyond disgusting, and I’m mailing back the form to tell the RNC how I really feel about their bullshit. Signal boost. LOOK OUT FOR THIS BULLSHIT!
America, Anaconda, and Doctor: 2018 CONGRESSIONAL
 DISTRICT CENSUS
 Congressional Datrict Masount
 Docurrent Tracking Code: N18PM113
 SECOND NOTICE ent a 1
 -you never
 Never
 agan
 DRNER EXCLUGNELY TO
 be
 qv
 eshon
 DOMESTKC
 Official census docue
 otart ecoronic issn

 a
 "
 missile
 defense
 shield" for our nation to protect us from future
 n? 6. Should the U.S. take a more muscular attitude toward Russia and
 should be guaranteed the right to choose their own 7. Do you agree that our federal government must go all out to combat
 Yes
 O No
 No Opinion
 missile threats?
 15. Do you believe more federal laws that impede individuals' Second
 Amendment rights are the proper response to gun violence in our natio
 D Yes
 □No
 □ No Opinion
 China as they move to establish themselves as military and economic
 16. Do you agree that in response to the Department of Veterans Affairs
 No Opinion
 veterans that t
 doctor and have full access to care outside the VA?
 cyberattacks on our nation's government, businesses, and infrastructure?
 □Yes
 O No Opinion
 D No Opinion
 SECTION V- CERTIFICATION AND REPLY
 1. Can the Republican National Committee count on your help to deliver By
 the
 ake America
 na wnen
 hehinkherefitling out the US
 □$100
 $500 $1,000 Other $
 the enclosed 2018 Congressional
 Please chec employed
 District Census
 Contributions to the Republican National Committee are not deductible for
 federal income tax purposes.
 Contributions from corporations and foreign nationals are prohibited.
 To have a direct impact you may also contribute to the
 Republican National Committee while online at www.GOP.com/Census2018
 Please make your personal check payable to: RNC
 310 First Street SE . Washington, D C
 20
 or

 43017
 2018 Congressional District Census
 Commissioned by the Republican Party
 Ronna McDaniel
 Chairwoman
 March 30, 2018
 Dear Ms. Stone
 Enacting President Trump's agenda is going to take a massive grassroots effort all across
 America. It is a battle we m st win. And we must maintain Republican control of Congress to do it
 That is why an the irw
 e Rep blican Nationa
 concerned that you ha
 namenl sent to you a the request of resicent Tump.
 DOCUMENT that was regist
 few being mailed into Missoun's 3rd Congressional District. Enclosed is your official 2018
 name as a representatve of Saint Charles
 was one of the select
 Ms. Stone, I am sendir
 other copy because your registered Census
 CONGRESSİONAL DISTI
 CT CENSUS DOCUMENT registered CODE #NISPH is in your
 e largest Congressional District Census ouP y
 en for a mideelection and
 we nesd your personal involver ent to make this essential project uccessiul. Compland returning
 your 1018 Census document is en
 trl to our abilit
 urrnt serch shos that the nation ide ong essional District Census we lave been
 ng President Trump's agenda and will be a deciding factor in who
 gether the critanformation and voter profiles needed to target
 condud ing is he pitha RN
 audiend es with t
 wins in November
 But withour nation so politically divided and the
 Dşmocrats and mainstream media spreading
 ving to be difficult to et the real facts
 fak neys about President Trump and his Presidency
 teso vecollect and update o
 sae o what Doald Trump has acc m
 the co ntry. That is whsr
 hattyou etu your Census
 istrict and
 inmaio on yoers
 ingto Make America
 em
 Ms. Stone, your participation in this national effort will provide us with the detailed data we
 oncerning Missouri's3
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 w the liberal
 empcrats in Congress and the radical speci interegrou
 ps a d thr left-wing allies in the media tht
 advance is legisla agenda
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 your 2 ,186 (AGRESSIONATBISİ
 CENSUS and do
 act now to c
 your best to get it back to me at RNC Headquarters by April 30th.
 lease include a generous cont buton of $25, $50, $100, $250, $500, $1,000
 d to help underwteeof this proAnd
 is
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 I'm making this special appeal for your financial help because we cannot continue to
 ake major progress in taking our country back as long as the Democrats and the liberal media
 ent our message and hold President Trump's Presidency hostage. It is absolutely vital
 isrepres
 that we have the funds to fight back- and most important-maintain our Republican
 Over, please
 310 First Street, SE Washington, DC 20003
 1-800-445-5768 www.GOP com
veronicasanders:
houseoftombombadil:
The RNC sent me a notice of official census material that was actually a fundraiser for the republican candidates running in the midterms. The paperwork was presented as being an official document required to be filled out by law, but it was patently false. This is corruption. This is meant to deceive people into giving data and money to a political party under the guise of nonpartisan census data. This undermines trust in the census, local government, and the democratic process. This is beyond disgusting, and I’m mailing back the form to tell the RNC how I really feel about their bullshit.
Signal boost. LOOK OUT FOR THIS BULLSHIT!

veronicasanders: houseoftombombadil: The RNC sent me a notice of official census material that was actually a fundraiser for the republican ...

Being Alone, Anna, and Apparently: CNN @CNN CAN Plan Bee' is a personal robotic bee designed to mimic how bees pollinate flowers and crops cnn.it/21QKbuY jaküb @sadandchildish instead of saving the environment and helping actual bees let's spend billions on robots that do what bees would do for free CNN @CNN Plan Bee' is a personal robotic bee designed to mimic how bees pollinate flowers and crops cnn.it/21QKbuY chuppa-thingy: curlicuecal: pts-m-d: thetrippytrip: dont you just love capitalism..   Black Mirror predicted this we are all goona die my god but I get mad when someone flippantly dismisses important scientific progress because you can make it sound dumb by framing it the right way. For a start, of course a lot of science sounds dumb.  Science is all in the slogging through the minutiae, the failures, the tedious process of filling in the blank spaces on the map because it ain’t ’t glamorous, but if someone doesn’t do it, no one gets to know for sure what’s there. Someone’s gotta spend their career measuring fly genitalia under a microscope. Frankly, I’m grateful to the person who is tackling that tedium, because if they didn’t, I might have to, and I don’t wanna. But let’s talk about why we should care about this particular science and spend money on it. (And I’ll even answer without even glancing at the article.) Off the top of my head? -advances in robotics -advances in miniature robotics -advances in flight technology -advantages in simulating and understanding the mechanics and programming of small intelligences -ability to grow crops in places uninhabitable by insects (space? cold/hot? places where honeybees are non-native and detrimental to the ecosystem?) -ability to improve productivity density of crops and feed more people -less strain on bees, who do poorly when forced to pollinate monocultures of low nutrition plants -ability to run tightly controlled experiments on pollination, on the effects of bees on plant physiology, on ecosystem dynamics, etc -fucking robot bees, my friend -hahaha think how confused those flowers must be Also worth keeping in mind? People love, love, love framing science in condescending and silly sounding terms as an excuse to cut funding to vital programs. *Especially* if it’s also associated with something (gasp) ‘inappropriate’, like sex or ladyparts. This is why research for a lot of women’s issues, lgbtq+ issues, minorities’ issues, and vulnerable groups in general’s issues tends to lag so far behind the times. This is why some groups are pushing so hard to cut funding for climate change research these days. Anything that’s acquired governmental funding has been through an intensely competitive, months-to-years long screening by EXPERTS IN THE FIELD who have a very good idea what research is likely to be most beneficial to that field and fill a needed gap. Trust me.  The paperwork haunts my nightmares. So, we had a joke in my lab: “Nice work, college boy.” It was the phrase for any project that you could spend years and years working on and end up with results that could be summed up on a single, pretty slide with an apparently obvious graph. The phrase was taken from something a grower said at a talk my advisor gave as a graduate student: “So you proved that plants grow better when they’re watered? Nice work, college boy.” But like, the thing is? There’s always more details than that. And a lot of times it’s important that somebody questions our assumptions.  A labmate of mine doing very similar research demonstrated that our assumptions about the effect of water stress on plant fitness have been wrong for years because *nobody had thought to separate out the different WAYS a plant can be water stressed.* (Continuously, in bursts, etc.). And it turns out these ways have *drastically different effects* with drastically different measures required for response to them to keep from losing lots of money and resources in agriculture. Nice work, college boy. :p Point the second: surprise! Anna Haldewang is an industrial design student.  She developed this in her product design class.  And, as far as I can tell, she has had no particular funding at all for this project, much less billions of dollars.  ‘grats, Anna, you FUCKING ROCK. ps: On a lighter note, summarizing research to make it sound stupid is both easy AND fun. Check out @lolmythesis – I HIGHLY RECOMMEND. :33 Okay, so I actually know Anna. She is my classmate and my friend, and I know this project quite well. And I could not have put the above statement any better. Here’s the thing guys, bumblebees are endangered, but they have a very important roll in our ecosystem. While we are doing everything we can to stabalize the bee populations, we also have to make sure that an important job is being done in our ecosystem. This drone was a conceptual way to aid that as we work to stabalize bee populations. I have never been so mad at Tumblr before. This is a huge accomplishment for a student, let alone a female in our male dominated industry. Stop shitting on everything, it doesn’t make you cool. Oh and actually read into things before you go tearing them apart.
Being Alone, Anna, and Apparently: CNN
 @CNN
 CAN
 Plan Bee' is a personal robotic bee designed
 to mimic how bees pollinate flowers and crops
 cnn.it/21QKbuY

 jaküb
 @sadandchildish
 instead of saving the environment and helping
 actual bees let's spend billions on robots that
 do what bees would do for free
 CNN @CNN
 Plan Bee' is a personal robotic bee designed to mimic how bees
 pollinate flowers and crops cnn.it/21QKbuY
chuppa-thingy:

curlicuecal:


pts-m-d:

thetrippytrip:


dont you just love capitalism..  

Black Mirror predicted this we are all goona die

my god but I get mad when someone flippantly dismisses important scientific progress because you can make it sound dumb by framing it the right way.
For a start, of course a lot of science sounds dumb.  Science is all in the slogging through the minutiae, the failures, the tedious process of filling in the blank spaces on the map because it ain’t ’t glamorous, but if someone doesn’t do it, no one gets to know for sure what’s there.
Someone’s gotta spend their career measuring fly genitalia under a microscope. Frankly, I’m grateful to the person who is tackling that tedium, because if they didn’t, I might have to, and I don’t wanna.
But let’s talk about why we should care about this particular science and spend money on it.  (And I’ll even answer without even glancing at the article.)
Off the top of my head?
-advances in robotics
-advances in miniature robotics
-advances in flight technology
-advantages in simulating and understanding the mechanics and programming of small intelligences
-ability to grow crops in places uninhabitable by insects (space? cold/hot? places where honeybees are non-native and detrimental to the ecosystem?)
-ability to improve productivity density of crops and feed more people
-less strain on bees, who do poorly when forced to pollinate monocultures of low nutrition plants
-ability to run tightly controlled experiments on pollination, on the effects of bees on plant physiology, on ecosystem dynamics, etc
-fucking robot bees, my friend
-hahaha think how confused those flowers must be
Also worth keeping in mind? People love, love, love framing science in condescending and silly sounding terms as an excuse to cut funding to vital programs.  *Especially* if it’s also associated with something (gasp) ‘inappropriate’, like sex or ladyparts.  This is why research for a lot of women’s issues, lgbtq+ issues, minorities’ issues, and vulnerable groups in general’s issues tends to lag so far behind the times.  This is why some groups are pushing so hard to cut funding for climate change research these days.


Anything that’s acquired governmental funding has been through an intensely competitive, months-to-years long screening by EXPERTS IN THE FIELD who have a very good idea what research is likely to be most beneficial to that field and fill a needed gap.
Trust me.  The paperwork haunts my nightmares.
So, we had a joke in my lab: “Nice work, college boy.” It was the phrase for any project that you could spend years and years working on and end up with results that could be summed up on a single, pretty slide with an apparently obvious graph.  The phrase was taken from something a grower said at a talk my advisor gave as a graduate student: “So you proved that plants grow better when they’re watered? Nice work, college boy.”
But like, the thing is?  There’s always more details than that.  And a lot of times it’s important that somebody questions our assumptions. 
A labmate of mine doing very similar research demonstrated that our assumptions about the effect of water stress on plant fitness have been wrong for years because *nobody had thought to separate out the different WAYS a plant can be water stressed.* (Continuously, in bursts, etc.). And it turns out these ways have *drastically different effects* with drastically different measures required for response to them to keep from losing lots of money and resources in agriculture.
Nice work, college boy. :p


Point the second: surprise! Anna Haldewang is an industrial design student.  She developed this in her product design class.  And, as far as I can tell, she has had no particular funding at all for this project, much less billions of dollars. 
‘grats, Anna, you FUCKING ROCK.


ps: On a lighter note, summarizing research to make it sound stupid is both easy AND fun. Check out @lolmythesis – I HIGHLY RECOMMEND. :33




Okay, so I actually know Anna. She is my classmate and my friend, and I know this project quite well. And I could not have put the above statement any better. 
Here’s the thing guys, bumblebees are endangered, but they have a very important roll in our ecosystem. While we are doing everything we can to stabalize the bee populations, we also have to make sure that an important job is being done in our ecosystem. This drone was a conceptual way to aid that as we work to stabalize bee populations. 
I have never been so mad at Tumblr before. This is a huge accomplishment for a student, let alone a female in our male dominated industry. Stop shitting on everything, it doesn’t make you cool. Oh and actually read into things before you go tearing them apart.

chuppa-thingy: curlicuecal: pts-m-d: thetrippytrip: dont you just love capitalism..   Black Mirror predicted this we are all goona di...

Bad, Family, and God: Justino Mora @JustinoMora1 Hector Barajas, a U.S. veteran, was deported in 2004. Today, our dear friend Hector won his battle against the U.S. government and will be allowed to return home, become a U.S. citizen, and reunite with his family! Hector will be sworn in as a citizen on April 13th in San Diego. Yass!! 💜🙌🏽😊 Via The San Diego Union-Tribune: "Hector Barajas, who became the face and voice of deported veterans after his own deportation, will be allowed to return to the place he considers home and become a U.S. citizen. Barajas burst into joyous tears seated on a couch Thursday afternoon in front of a large American flag as he read a document informing him that he would be sworn in as a citizen on April 13 in San Diego. “Fourteen years, man,” Hector said, his voice cracking. “Oh my God, this is great. Hallelujah! Hallelujah!”. “I’m coming home, mom!” he added. Barajas was honorably discharged from the Army in 2001 but struggled readjusting to civilian life. He took a plea deal for a charge of shooting at an occupied car in 2002. Because of that conviction, the government took away his green card, and he was deported in 2004 after he finished a prison sentence. “I made bad decisions,” Barajas-Varela told the Union-Tribune last year about that time in his life. “I put myself in that situation... I wouldn’t put myself in that situation again.” Barajas founded the Deported Veterans Support House, known to many as “the Bunker,” in 2013 to support deportees in Tijuana. He became a leader in a push for legislative changes to help U.S. military veterans who had not become citizens avoid deportation and to bring back those who were already removed. He was born in Mexico but raised in Los Angeles from age seven. Since he had a green card, he was able to serve in the Army and was part of the 82nd Airborne Division from 1995 to 2001. At the time, he thought he’d automatically become a citizen, but that was not the case. Members of the military are allowed to apply for citizenship with no waiting period. They still have to fill out the paperwork and pass the tests. Noncitizens who serve in the military are still at risk for deportation if they commit crimes that can cause the U.S. to revoke their green cards."
Bad, Family, and God: Justino Mora
 @JustinoMora1
 Hector Barajas, a U.S. veteran, was
 deported in 2004. Today, our dear friend
 Hector won his battle against the U.S.
 government and will be allowed to return
 home, become a U.S. citizen, and reunite
 with his family!
 Hector will be sworn in as a citizen on
 April 13th in San Diego.
Yass!! 💜🙌🏽😊 Via The San Diego Union-Tribune: "Hector Barajas, who became the face and voice of deported veterans after his own deportation, will be allowed to return to the place he considers home and become a U.S. citizen. Barajas burst into joyous tears seated on a couch Thursday afternoon in front of a large American flag as he read a document informing him that he would be sworn in as a citizen on April 13 in San Diego. “Fourteen years, man,” Hector said, his voice cracking. “Oh my God, this is great. Hallelujah! Hallelujah!”. “I’m coming home, mom!” he added. Barajas was honorably discharged from the Army in 2001 but struggled readjusting to civilian life. He took a plea deal for a charge of shooting at an occupied car in 2002. Because of that conviction, the government took away his green card, and he was deported in 2004 after he finished a prison sentence. “I made bad decisions,” Barajas-Varela told the Union-Tribune last year about that time in his life. “I put myself in that situation... I wouldn’t put myself in that situation again.” Barajas founded the Deported Veterans Support House, known to many as “the Bunker,” in 2013 to support deportees in Tijuana. He became a leader in a push for legislative changes to help U.S. military veterans who had not become citizens avoid deportation and to bring back those who were already removed. He was born in Mexico but raised in Los Angeles from age seven. Since he had a green card, he was able to serve in the Army and was part of the 82nd Airborne Division from 1995 to 2001. At the time, he thought he’d automatically become a citizen, but that was not the case. Members of the military are allowed to apply for citizenship with no waiting period. They still have to fill out the paperwork and pass the tests. Noncitizens who serve in the military are still at risk for deportation if they commit crimes that can cause the U.S. to revoke their green cards."

Yass!! 💜🙌🏽😊 Via The San Diego Union-Tribune: "Hector Barajas, who became the face and voice of deported veterans after his own deportation, ...