OTP


                    
                    
                
Otps
Otps

Otps

Shitting
Shitting

Shitting

Imagine Your Otp
Imagine Your Otp

Imagine Your Otp

Brutal
Brutal

Brutal

And
And

And

Walking Away
Walking Away

Walking Away

My Otp
My Otp

My Otp

Holi Shit
Holi Shit

Holi Shit

Shitted
Shitted

Shitted

lets watch
 lets watch

lets watch

🔥 | Latest

OTP: yellowtribalwolf: Happy Valentine’s day yo! What better way to celebrate than to do a quick comic doodle of your favorite otp ever???? Ranma and Akane will always be my #1
OTP: yellowtribalwolf:

Happy Valentine’s day yo! What better way to celebrate than to do a quick comic doodle of your favorite otp ever???? Ranma and Akane will always be my #1

yellowtribalwolf: Happy Valentine’s day yo! What better way to celebrate than to do a quick comic doodle of your favorite otp ever???? R...

OTP: willingthium: MY GOD man i didnt expect my otp would show up this soon…please let them have there own sleepover 
OTP: willingthium:

MY GOD man i didnt expect my otp would show up this soon…please let them have there own sleepover 

willingthium: MY GOD man i didnt expect my otp would show up this soon…please let them have there own sleepover 

OTP: willingthium: my otp 
OTP: willingthium:

my otp 

willingthium: my otp 

OTP: p0ply:some old otp for valentine’s u_u
OTP: p0ply:some old otp for valentine’s u_u

p0ply:some old otp for valentine’s u_u

OTP: Otp
OTP: Otp

Otp

OTP: Otp
OTP: Otp

Otp

OTP: zu-art: My high school OTP :( I was all about these kids for a few years, human Inuyasha especially.
OTP: zu-art:

My high school OTP :( I was all about these kids for a few years, human Inuyasha especially.

zu-art: My high school OTP :( I was all about these kids for a few years, human Inuyasha especially.

OTP: the bigpafooka fumbir.Cem thebigpalooka: The original bb otp from probably sixteen years ago now.  No school like the old school of anything goes martial arts
OTP: the bigpafooka fumbir.Cem
thebigpalooka:

The original bb otp from probably sixteen years ago now.  No school like the old school 
of anything goes martial arts

thebigpalooka: The original bb otp from probably sixteen years ago now.  No school like the old school of anything goes martial arts

OTP: maradigma: Inktober Day 9 - Swing Have an iconic Inukag scene for this one! Swing that sword Inu-boy. Yup I’m late but unfortunately that’s just how the rest of this OTP Inktober’s gonna go. (fml)
OTP: maradigma:

Inktober Day 9 - Swing
Have an iconic Inukag scene for this one! Swing that sword Inu-boy.

Yup I’m late but unfortunately that’s just how the rest of this OTP Inktober’s gonna go. (fml)

maradigma: Inktober Day 9 - Swing Have an iconic Inukag scene for this one! Swing that sword Inu-boy. Yup I’m late but unfortunately th...

OTP: TASKEK CA luciayshadow said: Anonymous said: rocketmermaid said: Your Bowsette comic is the cutest thing about her that I have read Trans lesbian Bowsette is amazing and beautiful and cute and your comic thing you did about it was amazing!! Thank you for your portrayal of Bowsette as a beefy trans lesbian, As a beefy trans girl myself, the blonde tiddy anime princess portrayal of Bowsette made me feel left out in the cold, and I love seeing women like myself portrayed as gorgeous and worthwhile. You also draw my favorite versions of Jasper, with whom I also share a deep affinity. Keep up the good work! <3 .. ... logicalman6 said: Anonymous said: Just wanted to say Thank You For Your Bowsette, she's beautiful and I hope we see her again, and maybe her hanging with Jasper. Thank You For Your Time can you draw more bowsette pleasel? And Your Art goldenevil91 said: Yeeeeeess more trans lesbian Bowsettel She and Peach are my new otp! umbretoaster said: Anonymous said: YES YES YESI WHOLEHEARTEDLY AGREE Bowsette has little chain chomp earrings I love them that's so cutell I lov her Anonymous said: like the way you draw the b e ef dawn0star said: docsyonide said: hey. hey. your bowsette comic and design gives me life and im going to be Sorry to trouble you with another message; I'm sure you're getting tired of me thinking abt it all day i think at least Anonymous said: posting: I just have to say I went and looked up what this whole Bowsette thing was and yours was my favourite; all the others are just peach in Goth but you Hot take, vour rendition of bowsette is the only valid one in all of existence :0 actually showed a design that could be extrapolated from who she was to who irpandaking said: she is now. It's wonderful. Though, admittedly, Im biased a little as she's big and I always love your big women^_ Can't wait for your next workl Take carel That's was hecking cute! ... Anonymous said: Anonymous said: Hey no offense but I would die for your trans lesbian Bowsette she so good and I loved your Bowsette comic, I wish there was more wholesome content for this trend but everywhere I look it is pom. lovely jasker: AAAAHH WOW!!! LOOK AT ALL THESE WONDERFUL ASKS oh my gosh you guys! i honestly wasnt expecting such a huge response but im SO happy this is making so many other people happy!! 💕💗💖 i love these girlfriends so much *m*
OTP: TASKEK CA

 luciayshadow said:
 Anonymous said:
 rocketmermaid said:
 Your Bowsette comic is the cutest thing about her that I have read
 Trans lesbian Bowsette is amazing and beautiful and cute and your comic thing
 you did about it was amazing!!
 Thank you for your portrayal of Bowsette as a beefy trans lesbian, As a beefy
 trans girl myself, the blonde tiddy anime princess portrayal of Bowsette made
 me feel left out in the cold, and I love seeing women like myself portrayed as
 gorgeous and worthwhile. You also draw my favorite versions of Jasper, with
 whom I also share a deep affinity. Keep up the good work! <3
 ..
 ...
 logicalman6 said:
 Anonymous said:
 Just wanted to say Thank You For Your Bowsette, she's beautiful and I hope we
 see her again, and maybe her hanging with Jasper. Thank You For Your Time
 can you draw more bowsette pleasel?
 And Your Art
 goldenevil91 said:
 Yeeeeeess more trans lesbian Bowsettel She and Peach are my new otp!
 umbretoaster said:
 Anonymous said:
 YES YES YESI WHOLEHEARTEDLY AGREE
 Bowsette has little chain chomp earrings I love them that's so cutell I lov her
 Anonymous said:
 like the way you draw the b e ef
 dawn0star said:
 docsyonide said:
 hey. hey. your bowsette comic and design gives me life and im going to be
 Sorry to trouble you with another message; I'm sure you're getting tired of me
 thinking abt it all day i think at least
 Anonymous said:
 posting: I just have to say I went and looked up what this whole Bowsette thing
 was and yours was my favourite; all the others are just peach in Goth but you
 Hot take, vour rendition of bowsette is the only valid one in all of existence :0
 actually showed a design that could be extrapolated from who she was to who
 irpandaking said:
 she is now. It's wonderful. Though, admittedly, Im biased a little as she's big and
 I always love your big women^_ Can't wait for your next workl Take carel
 That's was hecking cute!
 ...
 Anonymous said:
 Anonymous said:
 Hey no offense but I would die for your trans lesbian Bowsette she so good and
 I loved your Bowsette comic, I wish there was more wholesome content for this
 trend but everywhere I look it is pom.
 lovely
jasker:

AAAAHH WOW!!! LOOK AT ALL THESE WONDERFUL ASKS oh my gosh you guys! i honestly wasnt expecting such a huge response but im SO happy this is making so many other people happy!! 💕💗💖 i love these girlfriends so much *m*

jasker: AAAAHH WOW!!! LOOK AT ALL THESE WONDERFUL ASKS oh my gosh you guys! i honestly wasnt expecting such a huge response but im SO ha...

OTP: creative writing MASTERPOST studysection: Hey guys! As a writer myself, it’s hard to have a lot of resources for writing in one place. That’s why I decided to create this masterpost, and maybe make more if I find future resources. I hope you like it, and expect to see more masterposts like this in the future! Generators Character Appearance Generator Archetypes Generator Character Generator Character Traits Generator Family Generator Job/Occupation Generator, (II) Love Interest Generator Motive Generator Name Generator Personality Generator, (II) Quick Character Generator Super Powers Generator Names Brand Name Generator Medicine Title Generator Name Generator Quick Name Generator Vehicle Generator Town Name Generator Plot First Encounter Generator First Line Generator, (II) Plot Generator, (II), (III) Plot Device Generator Plot Twist Generator Quick Plot Generator Setting/World-Building City Generator Fantasy Race Generator Laws Generator Pet Generator Setting Generator Species Generator Terrain Generator Prompts Subject Generator ”Take Three Nouns” Generator Word Prompt Generator Misc Color Generator Decision Generator Dialogue Generator Journey Generator Title Generator, (II), (III) Some Tips Just a few I found from the writing tips tag! Writing action / @berrybird How to create a strong voice in your writing / @collegerefs How to plot a complex novel in one day! / @lizard-is-writing 8 ways to get past writer’s block / @kiramartinauthor psa for writers / @dasakuryo ”Write Using Your 5 Senses” / @ambientwriting How People Watching Improves Your Writing / @wherethetransthingsare Writing Science Fiction: Tips for Beginners / @fictionwritingtips Creating Likeable Characters / @authors-haven Vocabulary Descriptive words / @somekindofstudent Words to replace “Said” / @msocasey Obscure color words / @mintsteelpeachlilac Words to spice up your stories / @busyibee Words to describe someone’s voice Words to Use Instead of Very / @gaybybirth Touchy Feely Words / @gaybybirth Some Advice Stephen King’s Top 20 Rules for Writers ”But my plot isn’t UNIQUE or BIG enough!” / @youreallwrite 8 Things Every Creative Should Know / @adamjk (How To) Get Over Comparing Yourself to Other Creatives / @adamjk How to Get Over Common Creative Fears (Maybe) / @adamjk 14 Tips From Stephen King On Writing / @i-can-give-you-prompts Playlists Electronic Thoughts / @eruditekid “Mix About Writing” An Instrumental Mix / @shadowofemirates Shut Up, I’m Writing! / @ninadropdead Chill / @endlessreveries Breathtaking Film Scores / @tweedskirts Music to Write to Vol. 1: Starlight / @crestadeen Music for Written Words / @ghoulpatch Dead Men Tell No Tales / @scamandersnewt Fatale / @dolcegf All These Things that I’ve Done / @referenceforwriters Feeling Soaking into Your Bones / @verylondon I Can Feel Your Pulse in the Pages / @rphelper Morally Ambiguous / @scamandersnewt Wonderwall / @wheelerwrites Pythia / @mazikeene Ballet: To Dance / @tanaquil Websites and Apps For Writing ZenPen: A minimalist writing website to keep you free of distractions and in the flow. The Most Dangerous Writing App: A website where you have to keep typing or all of your writing will be lost. It helps you keep writing…kind of. You can choose between a time or word count limit! Evernote: An online website where you can take notes and save the product to your laptop and/or smartphone! Writer, the Internet Typewriter: It’s just you and your writing, and you can save your product on the website if you create an account. Wordcounter: A website to help check your word and character count, and shows words you’re using frequently. Monospace: An Android app for writing on the go when you feel the inspiration, but you don’t have your laptop on you! For Productivity Tide: An app that combines a pomodoro-esque timer with nature sounds and other noises! (Google Play / Apple Store) ClearFocus: An Android app with a pomodoro-type time counter to let you concentrate easier and stay productive. Forest: An app with a time counter to keep you focused and off your phone, and when you complete the time limit, a tree grows in your garden! (Google Play / Apple Store) SelfControl: A Mac downloadable app that blocks you from distracting mail servers, websites, and other things! Prompt Blogs @writeworld @dialouge-prompts @oopsprompts @prompts-for-the-otp @creativepromptsforwriting @the-modern-typewriter @theprofessionalpromptmaker @writers-are-writers @otp-imagines-cult @witterprompts @havetobememes @auideas @putthepromptsonpaper @promptsonpaper @fyotpprompts @otpisms @soprompt @otpprompts @ablockforwritersblock @awritersnook Writing Tips Blogs @writeworld @anomalously-written @awritersnook @clevergirlhelps @referenceforwriters @whataboutwriting @thewritershelpers @nimblesnotebook @slitheringink
OTP: creative writing
 MASTERPOST
studysection:

Hey guys! As a writer myself, it’s hard to have a lot of resources for writing in one place. That’s why I decided to create this masterpost, and maybe make more if I find future resources. I hope you like it, and expect to see more masterposts like this in the future!
Generators
Character
Appearance Generator
Archetypes Generator

Character Generator

Character Traits Generator
Family Generator

Job/Occupation Generator, (II)

Love Interest Generator
Motive Generator
Name Generator

Personality Generator, (II)

Quick Character Generator
Super Powers Generator
Names
Brand Name Generator
Medicine Title Generator

Name Generator
Quick Name Generator
Vehicle Generator
Town Name Generator
Plot
First Encounter Generator

First Line Generator, (II)


Plot Generator, (II), (III)

Plot Device Generator
Plot Twist Generator
Quick Plot Generator
Setting/World-Building
City Generator
Fantasy Race Generator
Laws Generator
Pet Generator

Setting Generator
Species Generator
Terrain Generator
Prompts

Subject Generator
”Take Three Nouns” Generator
Word Prompt Generator
Misc
Color Generator
Decision Generator

Dialogue Generator
Journey Generator

Title Generator, (II), (III)
Some Tips
Just a few I found from the writing tips tag!

Writing action / @berrybird

How to create a strong voice in your writing / @collegerefs


How to plot a complex novel in one day! / @lizard-is-writing


8 ways to get past writer’s block / @kiramartinauthor


psa for writers / @dasakuryo

”Write Using Your 5 Senses” / @ambientwriting


How People Watching Improves Your Writing / @wherethetransthingsare


Writing Science Fiction: Tips for Beginners / @fictionwritingtips


Creating Likeable Characters / @authors-haven

Vocabulary

Descriptive words / @somekindofstudent


Words to replace “Said” / @msocasey


Obscure color words / @mintsteelpeachlilac


Words to spice up your stories / @busyibee

Words to describe someone’s voice

Words to Use Instead of Very / @gaybybirth


Touchy Feely Words / @gaybybirth

Some Advice
Stephen King’s Top 20 Rules for Writers

”But my plot isn’t UNIQUE or BIG enough!” / @youreallwrite

8 Things Every Creative Should Know / @adamjk


(How To) Get Over Comparing Yourself to Other Creatives / @adamjk


How to Get Over Common Creative Fears (Maybe) / @adamjk


14 Tips From Stephen King On Writing / @i-can-give-you-prompts
Playlists

Electronic Thoughts / @eruditekid

“Mix About Writing” An Instrumental Mix / @shadowofemirates

Shut Up, I’m Writing! / @ninadropdead

Chill / @endlessreveries


Breathtaking Film Scores / @tweedskirts


Music to Write to Vol. 1: Starlight / @crestadeen


Music for Written Words / @ghoulpatch


Dead Men Tell No Tales / @scamandersnewt


Fatale / @dolcegf


All These Things that I’ve Done / @referenceforwriters

Feeling Soaking into Your Bones / @verylondon


I Can Feel Your Pulse in the Pages / @rphelper

Morally Ambiguous / @scamandersnewt


Wonderwall / @wheelerwrites


Pythia / @mazikeene


Ballet: To Dance / @tanaquil
Websites and Apps
For Writing

ZenPen: A minimalist writing website to keep you free of distractions and in the flow.

The Most Dangerous Writing App: A website where you have to keep typing or all of your writing will be lost. It helps you keep writing…kind of. You can choose between a time or word count limit!

Evernote: An online website where you can take notes and save the product to your laptop and/or smartphone!

Writer, the Internet Typewriter: It’s just you and your writing, and you can save your product on the website if you create an account.

Wordcounter: A website to help check your word and character count, and shows words you’re using frequently.

Monospace: An Android app for writing on the go when you feel the inspiration, but you don’t have your laptop on you!
For Productivity
Tide: An app that combines a pomodoro-esque timer with nature sounds and other noises! (Google Play / Apple Store)

ClearFocus: An Android app with a pomodoro-type time counter to let you concentrate easier and stay productive.
Forest: An app with a time counter to keep you focused and off your phone, and when you complete the time limit, a tree grows in your garden! (Google Play / Apple Store)


SelfControl: A Mac downloadable app that blocks you from distracting mail servers, websites, and other things!
Prompt Blogs

@writeworld

@dialouge-prompts
@oopsprompts
@prompts-for-the-otp
@creativepromptsforwriting
@the-modern-typewriter
@theprofessionalpromptmaker
@writers-are-writers
@otp-imagines-cult
@witterprompts
@havetobememes
@auideas
@putthepromptsonpaper
@promptsonpaper
@fyotpprompts
@otpisms
@soprompt

@otpprompts

@ablockforwritersblock
@awritersnook
Writing Tips Blogs

@writeworld

@anomalously-written
@awritersnook
@clevergirlhelps
@referenceforwriters
@whataboutwriting
@thewritershelpers
@nimblesnotebook
@slitheringink

studysection: Hey guys! As a writer myself, it’s hard to have a lot of resources for writing in one place. That’s why I decided to creat...

OTP: xaylu-art: behold the first otp i’ve been listening to the inuyasha ost non stop for days, this was bound to happen
OTP: xaylu-art:
behold the first otp
i’ve been listening to the inuyasha ost non stop for days, this was bound to happen

xaylu-art: behold the first otp i’ve been listening to the inuyasha ost non stop for days, this was bound to happen

OTP: MB 'IH 0player-2-hell: Ok i always wanted to do something like dis, so why not lolOriginal Meme
OTP: MB 'IH
0player-2-hell:

Ok i always wanted to do something like dis, so why not lolOriginal Meme

0player-2-hell: Ok i always wanted to do something like dis, so why not lolOriginal Meme

OTP: Can you marry me 5:01 PM I just got back from my school and they said they cannot give me any aid except for unsubsidised loans unless l have a child, get married, or turn 24, so I have to get married Yeah ok I'll marry you I need a better fafsa application too Wait seriously Would you really do it Im doing actual research on it Are we doing this It would have to happen like lightning fast cause my next semester happens pretty damn soon I don't know how fast this happens lemme check Ughhhh okay so we'd need to get a marriage license which can be up to $30 depending on where we get it, and THEN we need to file for a marriage certificate I'm an ordained minister but idk if I could file my own marriage certificate get ordained and do it Can we go to Indiana? Let me check Dude Im so excited Its possible that I can get FAFSA to pay for an entire apartment for me to go to school in Milwaukee DUDE WHAT Okay so there's no minister registration required in lllinois so Yeah I'm looking that up right now Ive heard that if one partner commits adultery, thats grounds for a quicker divorce Yeah this sample form I'm looking at says "irretrievable breakdown" of marriage Worse comes to worse we can stage a fight but I think we can just say yeah it's not working out Does it include adultery divorce ranging from $15,000 to $30,000. Most of this money is spent on legal fees. So Fuck lawyers We don't need a lawyer We don't have kids we don't have property to divide up Oh thats only for a lawyer We don't have alimony to negotiate We're just two guys being dudes. Gettin a divorce portraitofemmy: possiblestoner: marzipanandminutiae: A. imagine your otp B. dear gods this country has massive issues I’ve been looking for this post for ages listen, I’ve read enough fanfic to know that they’re not getting divorced, but it’ll take about 35k of pining to figure that out.
OTP: Can you marry me
 5:01 PM
 I just got back from my school
 and they said they cannot give
 me any aid except for
 unsubsidised loans unless l
 have a child, get married, or
 turn 24, so I have to get married
 Yeah ok I'll marry you I need a
 better fafsa application too
 Wait seriously
 Would you really do it
 Im doing actual research on it

 Are we doing this
 It would have to happen like
 lightning fast cause my next
 semester happens pretty
 damn soon
 I don't know how fast this
 happens lemme check
 Ughhhh okay so we'd need to get
 a marriage license which can be
 up to $30 depending on where we
 get it, and THEN we need to file
 for a marriage certificate
 I'm an ordained minister but idk if
 I could file my own marriage
 certificate

 get ordained and do it
 Can we go to Indiana?
 Let me check
 Dude Im so excited
 Its possible that I can get
 FAFSA to pay for an entire
 apartment for me to go to
 school in Milwaukee
 DUDE WHAT
 Okay so there's no minister
 registration required in lllinois so

 Yeah I'm looking that up right
 now
 Ive heard that if one partner
 commits adultery, thats
 grounds for a quicker divorce
 Yeah this sample form I'm
 looking at says "irretrievable
 breakdown" of marriage
 Worse comes to worse we can
 stage a fight but I think we can
 just say yeah it's not working out
 Does it include adultery

 divorce ranging from $15,000
 to $30,000. Most of this money
 is spent on legal fees.
 So Fuck lawyers
 We don't need a lawyer
 We don't have kids we don't have
 property to divide up
 Oh thats only for a lawyer
 We don't have alimony to
 negotiate
 We're just two guys being dudes.
 Gettin a divorce
portraitofemmy:

possiblestoner:

marzipanandminutiae:

A. imagine your otp
B. dear gods this country has massive issues

I’ve been looking for this post for ages

listen, I’ve read enough fanfic to know that they’re not getting divorced, but it’ll take about 35k of pining to figure that out.

portraitofemmy: possiblestoner: marzipanandminutiae: A. imagine your otp B. dear gods this country has massive issues I’ve been looki...

OTP: AM bevamart:I colored an old favorite of the ultimate otp! And you can see my process in my first speedpaint video, which you can watch here: https://youtu.be/oylLOBbptgM !
OTP: AM
bevamart:I colored an old favorite of the ultimate otp! And you can see my process in my first speedpaint video, which you can watch here: https://youtu.be/oylLOBbptgM !

bevamart:I colored an old favorite of the ultimate otp! And you can see my process in my first speedpaint video, which you can watch here...

OTP: gobodosama:this is my otp to end all otps tbh!!!! i love them so much. papa is such a goof and kimi pretends she doesnt like it but she fuckin Loves it….// weeps
OTP: gobodosama:this is my otp to end all otps tbh!!!! i love them so much. papa is such a goof and kimi pretends she doesnt like it but she fuckin Loves it….// weeps

gobodosama:this is my otp to end all otps tbh!!!! i love them so much. papa is such a goof and kimi pretends she doesnt like it but she f...

OTP: reo-coquelicot: Hey I doodled. This episode gave me no choice. There’s more art to come with these two, this was just some quick relaxing practice ~ (Welcome new OTP ♡)
OTP: reo-coquelicot:

Hey I doodled. This episode gave me no choice.
There’s more art to come with these two, this was just some quick relaxing practice ~ (Welcome new OTP ♡)

reo-coquelicot: Hey I doodled. This episode gave me no choice. There’s more art to come with these two, this was just some quick relaxin...

OTP: SLEEP AN sleep-san: everyone and their mother’s first otp
nsfw
OTP: SLEEP AN
sleep-san:
everyone and their mother’s first otp

sleep-san: everyone and their mother’s first otp

OTP: hellvocado:is this: otp?
OTP: hellvocado:is this: otp?

hellvocado:is this: otp?

OTP: Can you marry me 5:01 PM I just got back from my school and they said they cannot give me any aid except for unsubsidised loans unless l have a child, get married, or turn 24, so I have to get married Yeah ok I'll marry you I need a better fafsa application too Wait seriously Would you really do it Im doing actual research on it Are we doing this It would have to happen like lightning fast cause my next semester happens pretty damn soon I don't know how fast this happens lemme check Ughhhh okay so we'd need to get a marriage license which can be up to $30 depending on where we get it, and THEN we need to file for a marriage certificate I'm an ordained minister but idk if I could file my own marriage certificate get ordained and do it Can we go to Indiana? Let me check Dude Im so excited Its possible that I can get FAFSA to pay for an entire apartment for me to go to school in Milwaukee DUDE WHAT Okay so there's no minister registration required in lllinois so Yeah I'm looking that up right now Ive heard that if one partner commits adultery, thats grounds for a quicker divorce Yeah this sample form I'm looking at says "irretrievable breakdown" of marriage Worse comes to worse we can stage a fight but I think we can just say yeah it's not working out Does it include adultery divorce ranging from $15,000 to $30,000. Most of this money is spent on legal fees. So Fuck lawyers We don't need a lawyer We don't have kids we don't have property to divide up Oh thats only for a lawyer We don't have alimony to negotiate We're just two guys being dudes. Gettin a divorce portraitofemmy: possiblestoner: marzipanandminutiae: A. imagine your otp B. dear gods this country has massive issues I’ve been looking for this post for ages listen, I’ve read enough fanfic to know that they’re not getting divorced, but it’ll take about 35k of pining to figure that out.
OTP: Can you marry me
 5:01 PM
 I just got back from my school
 and they said they cannot give
 me any aid except for
 unsubsidised loans unless l
 have a child, get married, or
 turn 24, so I have to get married
 Yeah ok I'll marry you I need a
 better fafsa application too
 Wait seriously
 Would you really do it
 Im doing actual research on it

 Are we doing this
 It would have to happen like
 lightning fast cause my next
 semester happens pretty
 damn soon
 I don't know how fast this
 happens lemme check
 Ughhhh okay so we'd need to get
 a marriage license which can be
 up to $30 depending on where we
 get it, and THEN we need to file
 for a marriage certificate
 I'm an ordained minister but idk if
 I could file my own marriage
 certificate

 get ordained and do it
 Can we go to Indiana?
 Let me check
 Dude Im so excited
 Its possible that I can get
 FAFSA to pay for an entire
 apartment for me to go to
 school in Milwaukee
 DUDE WHAT
 Okay so there's no minister
 registration required in lllinois so

 Yeah I'm looking that up right
 now
 Ive heard that if one partner
 commits adultery, thats
 grounds for a quicker divorce
 Yeah this sample form I'm
 looking at says "irretrievable
 breakdown" of marriage
 Worse comes to worse we can
 stage a fight but I think we can
 just say yeah it's not working out
 Does it include adultery

 divorce ranging from $15,000
 to $30,000. Most of this money
 is spent on legal fees.
 So Fuck lawyers
 We don't need a lawyer
 We don't have kids we don't have
 property to divide up
 Oh thats only for a lawyer
 We don't have alimony to
 negotiate
 We're just two guys being dudes.
 Gettin a divorce
portraitofemmy:

possiblestoner:

marzipanandminutiae:

A. imagine your otp
B. dear gods this country has massive issues

I’ve been looking for this post for ages

listen, I’ve read enough fanfic to know that they’re not getting divorced, but it’ll take about 35k of pining to figure that out.

portraitofemmy: possiblestoner: marzipanandminutiae: A. imagine your otp B. dear gods this country has massive issues I’ve been looki...

OTP: paigeftw: PruAus is my OTP.
nsfw
OTP: paigeftw:

PruAus is my OTP.

paigeftw: PruAus is my OTP.

OTP: Can you marry me 5:01 PM I just got back from my school and they said they cannot give me any aid except for unsubsidised loans unless l have a child, get married, or turn 24, so I have to get married Yeah ok I'll marry you I need a better fafsa application too Wait seriously Would you really do it Im doing actual research on it Are we doing this It would have to happen like lightning fast cause my next semester happens pretty damn soon I don't know how fast this happens lemme check Ughhhh okay so we'd need to get a marriage license which can be up to $30 depending on where we get it, and THEN we need to file for a marriage certificate I'm an ordained minister but idk if I could file my own marriage certificate get ordained and do it Can we go to Indiana? Let me check Dude Im so excited Its possible that I can get FAFSA to pay for an entire apartment for me to go to school in Milwaukee DUDE WHAT Okay so there's no minister registration required in lllinois so Yeah I'm looking that up right now Ive heard that if one partner commits adultery, thats grounds for a quicker divorce Yeah this sample form I'm looking at says "irretrievable breakdown" of marriage Worse comes to worse we can stage a fight but I think we can just say yeah it's not working out Does it include adultery divorce ranging from $15,000 to $30,000. Most of this money is spent on legal fees. So Fuck lawyers We don't need a lawyer We don't have kids we don't have property to divide up Oh thats only for a lawyer We don't have alimony to negotiate We're just two guys being dudes. Gettin a divorce portraitofemmy: possiblestoner: marzipanandminutiae: A. imagine your otp B. dear gods this country has massive issues I’ve been looking for this post for ages listen, I’ve read enough fanfic to know that they’re not getting divorced, but it’ll take about 35k of pining to figure that out.
OTP: Can you marry me
 5:01 PM
 I just got back from my school
 and they said they cannot give
 me any aid except for
 unsubsidised loans unless l
 have a child, get married, or
 turn 24, so I have to get married
 Yeah ok I'll marry you I need a
 better fafsa application too
 Wait seriously
 Would you really do it
 Im doing actual research on it

 Are we doing this
 It would have to happen like
 lightning fast cause my next
 semester happens pretty
 damn soon
 I don't know how fast this
 happens lemme check
 Ughhhh okay so we'd need to get
 a marriage license which can be
 up to $30 depending on where we
 get it, and THEN we need to file
 for a marriage certificate
 I'm an ordained minister but idk if
 I could file my own marriage
 certificate

 get ordained and do it
 Can we go to Indiana?
 Let me check
 Dude Im so excited
 Its possible that I can get
 FAFSA to pay for an entire
 apartment for me to go to
 school in Milwaukee
 DUDE WHAT
 Okay so there's no minister
 registration required in lllinois so

 Yeah I'm looking that up right
 now
 Ive heard that if one partner
 commits adultery, thats
 grounds for a quicker divorce
 Yeah this sample form I'm
 looking at says "irretrievable
 breakdown" of marriage
 Worse comes to worse we can
 stage a fight but I think we can
 just say yeah it's not working out
 Does it include adultery

 divorce ranging from $15,000
 to $30,000. Most of this money
 is spent on legal fees.
 So Fuck lawyers
 We don't need a lawyer
 We don't have kids we don't have
 property to divide up
 Oh thats only for a lawyer
 We don't have alimony to
 negotiate
 We're just two guys being dudes.
 Gettin a divorce
portraitofemmy:
possiblestoner:

marzipanandminutiae:

A. imagine your otp
B. dear gods this country has massive issues

I’ve been looking for this post for ages

listen, I’ve read enough fanfic to know that they’re not getting divorced, but it’ll take about 35k of pining to figure that out.

portraitofemmy: possiblestoner: marzipanandminutiae: A. imagine your otp B. dear gods this country has massive issues I’ve been lookin...

OTP: did you know? In 1990, a Michigan police department staged a fake wedding in an attempt to eradicate the major drug problems in the area. Two undercover officers acted as the bride and groom, many local drug dealers were invited, and the cops busted them all together at the reception. PHOTO: FLINT JOURNAL/LANDOV DIDYOUKNOWBLOG.COM itsthatonepunnyguy: mia7437: krakenpocalypse: kablob17: notallbees: rainbowbarnacle: star-anise: did-you-kno: As an inside joke, the officers decided to have the cake decorated in police-blue ribbons and sugared bees (for a “sting”). The band, led by a city police officer, announced themselves as a weed-loving group named S.P.O.C, which stood for ‘Somebody Protect Our Crops.’ In actuality, it was just COPS spelled backwards. They played the song ‘I Fought The Law (and the Law Won)’ as a signal to begin the bust. “Let’s have some fun,” an officer shouted. “Everybody here that’s a cop, stand up! Okay! All the rest of you motherfuckers put your hands on the table, because you’re under arrest! This is a bust!” I found a video of The Wedding Sting, but there’s no audio :( Source IMAGINE YOUR OTP WOOOW Puts every single fake married AU to shame. this is some red wedding shit right here All these clues and the drug dealers still couldn’t figure out it was a bust? Wow. what sort of brooklyn nine fuckin nine Absolutely incredible
OTP: did you know?
 In 1990, a Michigan police department
 staged a fake wedding in an
 attempt to eradicate the major
 drug problems in the area. Two
 undercover officers acted as
 the bride and groom, many local
 drug dealers were invited, and
 the cops busted them all together
 at the reception.
 PHOTO: FLINT JOURNAL/LANDOV
 DIDYOUKNOWBLOG.COM
itsthatonepunnyguy:

mia7437:

krakenpocalypse:

kablob17:

notallbees:

rainbowbarnacle:

star-anise:

did-you-kno:

As an inside joke, the officers decided to have the cake decorated in police-blue ribbons and sugared bees (for a “sting”).
 The band, led by a city police officer, announced themselves as a weed-loving group named S.P.O.C, which stood for ‘Somebody Protect Our Crops.’ In actuality, it was just COPS spelled backwards.
They played the song ‘I Fought The Law (and the Law Won)’ as a signal to begin the bust.
“Let’s have some fun,” an officer shouted. “Everybody here that’s a cop, stand up! Okay! All the rest of you motherfuckers put your hands on the table, because you’re under arrest! This is a bust!”
I found a video of The Wedding Sting, but there’s no audio :(
Source

IMAGINE YOUR OTP

WOOOW

Puts every single fake married AU to shame.

this is some red wedding shit right here

All these clues and the drug dealers still couldn’t figure out it was a bust?
Wow.

what sort of brooklyn nine fuckin nine

Absolutely incredible

itsthatonepunnyguy: mia7437: krakenpocalypse: kablob17: notallbees: rainbowbarnacle: star-anise: did-you-kno: As an inside joke,...

OTP: SOCIAL ME(A EXRLAINED FOnSQRE THIS IS (uHERE INSTAGRAİ) HERE'S A vímAGe EAT DONUTS PHOTO OF my PONUT PINRES Heres A PONUT RECIPE 1- WHo EATS DONUTS skadi-again-again: althor42: misha-in-the-tardis-at221b: in-demigodishness-and-all-that: constitutionclass: england-made-a-spooky-blog-and: nega-che-chalaga: salt-water-chardonnay: latinagabi: thenoodledude: emergencysalsa: Tumblr: #this fucking donut #can we talk about this fucking donut for a minute #can we #because on this donut #the sprinkles just comfortably melt into the icing #you can tell that they are so perfectly in tune with each other #and they’ve come so far from when the sprinkles just sort of sat on top #barely touching for fear of rejection #just ugh I can’t #otp: comfortably melting 4chan: here’s a picture of someone putting their dick in a donut. reddit: that donut needs to go back into the kitchen and make me a sandwich. academia.edu: Here is a pdf of the seminar paper I wrote about the erotics/poetics/semiotics/science of donut eating. deviantArt:I did not steal this donut. I traced it so now it’s mine. It got better Fanfic.net: The donut is the setting for a high school AU, were two sprinkles meet and realise they have more in common than they ever thought possible, however, the mean chocolate sauce has caught wind of their secret relationship. Will they be able to make it together before it’s too late? M for a lemon flavoured donut. This has officially become one of my favorite posts. I JUST REBLOGGED BUT FANFIC MADE IT PERFECT Ladies and gentlemen, I present you with: The Internet. archiveofourown.org: Graphic Depictions of Gluten, doughut/sprinkles, doughnut/glaze, doughnut/sprinkles/glaze, doughnut - character, sprinkles - character, glaze - character, dsg threesome, first time, morning doughnuts, AU - doughnutverse, omg i don’t even know, knotting
OTP: SOCIAL ME(A EXRLAINED
 FOnSQRE THIS IS (uHERE
 INSTAGRAİ) HERE'S A vímAGe
 EAT DONUTS
 PHOTO OF my PONUT
 PINRES
 Heres A PONUT RECIPE
 1-
 WHo EATS DONUTS
skadi-again-again:

althor42:

misha-in-the-tardis-at221b:

in-demigodishness-and-all-that:

constitutionclass:

england-made-a-spooky-blog-and:

nega-che-chalaga:

salt-water-chardonnay:

latinagabi:

thenoodledude:

emergencysalsa:

Tumblr: #this fucking donut #can we talk about this fucking donut for a minute #can we #because on this donut #the sprinkles just comfortably melt into the icing #you can tell that they are so perfectly in tune with each other #and they’ve come so far from when the sprinkles just sort of sat on top #barely touching for fear of rejection #just ugh I can’t #otp: comfortably melting

4chan: here’s a picture of someone putting their dick in a donut.

reddit: that donut needs to go back into the kitchen and make me a sandwich.

academia.edu: Here is a pdf of the seminar paper I wrote about the erotics/poetics/semiotics/science of donut eating.

deviantArt:I did not steal this donut. I traced it so now it’s mine.

It got better

Fanfic.net: The donut is the setting for a high school AU, were two sprinkles meet and realise they have more in common than they ever thought possible, however, the mean chocolate sauce has caught wind of their secret relationship. Will they be able to make it together before it’s too late? M for a lemon flavoured donut.

This has officially become one of my favorite posts.

I JUST REBLOGGED BUT FANFIC MADE IT PERFECT

Ladies and gentlemen, I present you with: The Internet.

archiveofourown.org: Graphic Depictions of Gluten, doughut/sprinkles, doughnut/glaze, doughnut/sprinkles/glaze, doughnut - character, sprinkles - character, glaze - character, dsg threesome, first time, morning doughnuts, AU - doughnutverse, omg i don’t even know, knotting

skadi-again-again: althor42: misha-in-the-tardis-at221b: in-demigodishness-and-all-that: constitutionclass: england-made-a-spooky-bl...

OTP: Crayola e With Preferred by Teachers ar E CRAYONS 24 homestuckpatternreference: iamthesylveon: f-e-f-e-t-a-c-a-k-e-s: gryphynshadow: silencingthedrums: zeaky: sliceofbri: DID YOU MOTHERFUCKERS REALLY THINK YOU WERE DONE WITH ME? I THINK NOT. THAT’S RIGHT IT’S THE SUGAR SCRUB CHICK BACK WITH ANOTHER FUCKING TUTORIAL. YOU BITCHES HAVE BEEN ASKING ME FOR AGES TO MAKE ANOTHER ONE OF THESE FUCKING POSTS AND IT’S FUCKING LATE SO HERE YOU GO FUCKERS WE GON LEARN SOME SHIT SO SIT DOWN AND BE QUIET SO WE ALL WANT LIPS RED AS THE BLOOD OF ANGRY MEN RIGHT AND WHO DOESN’T FUCKING LIKE ARTS AND CRAFTS AND I DON’T EVEN NEED TO TALK ABOUT HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND LIPSTICK FOR FUCKING COSPLAY SO BEHOLD THE HUMBLE CRAYON YOU LITTLE SHITS GET A CRAYON. AND NOT JUST ANY CRAYON A FUCKING CRAYOLA CRAYON DON’T EVEN TRY WITH THAT ROSEART SHIT BECAUSE I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND RIP OUT YOUR UVULA. IF YOU WANNA GET REALLY ARTSY WHIP OUT ONE OF THESE BAD BOYS  AND BREAK UP SOME CRAYONS TO GET THE PERFECT SHADE OF BLUE GREEN FOR THAT BADASS COSPLAY YOU’VE GOT PICKED OUT BUT MARK MY WORDS NO MORE THAN ONE FUCKING CRAYON’S WORTH OF BITS BETTER GO INTO THIS FUCKING BOWL. SPEAKING OF WHICH, YOU NEED SOME OTHER FUCKING SHIT IN THERE SO GO GET SOME OIL. THE GOOD STUFF. I’M TALKING EVOO BITCHES THE VIRGINAL BLOOD OF THE MOST TENDER OLIVES IN ALL THE LAND. SQUEEZE SOME OF THAT HEAVENLY LUBRICANT INTO YOUR BOWL, ABOUT 1/2 A TEASPOON, THAT’LL DO PIG, THAT’LL DO. NOW GO FIND SOME SHEA BUTTER OR COCONUT OIL AND GLOP ABOUT 1/2 A TEASPOON OF THAT IN YOUR BOWL. NOW GO TO YOUR MAGICAL CABINET OF WONDERS AND FIND SOME NICE SMELLING SHIT. COULD BE VANILLA EXTRACT. COULD BE LAVENDER OIL. I DON’T KNOW BRO WHATEVER YOU THINK SMELLS LIKE THE SILKY UNDERBELLY OF A NEWBORN UNICORN(important note make sure you use a FOOD SAFE oil if it doesn’t say it’s food safe/food grade don’t use it!) GRASP THE BOTTLE FIRMLY, SCREAM LIKE A VICTORIOUS PTERODACTYL, AND DROP 1-4 DROPS OF THAT SWEET SMELLING LIQUID IN THERE. I HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS RIGHT THERE BECAUSE IT IS THE HEATING VESSEL FOR YOUR GLORIOUS LIPSTICK THAT’S RIGHT LIKE A VIKING WARLORD YOU ARE GOING TO USE A DOUBLE BOILER. SO GET A SAUCEPAN AND HEAT SOME WATER, THEN PLOP THAT SWEET SMELLING BOWL OF OIL AND WAX ON TOP OF THAT STEAMY WATER LIKE THE COLLISION OF YOUR OTP IN A BAD FANFIC OH YEAH. STIR THAT SHIT UNTIL EVERYTHING IS MELTY AND SMOOTH YOU DON’T WANT TO RUIN YOUR SPOONS SO I USE A DISPOSABLE CHOPSTICK FUCK YEAH RECYCLING NOW ONCE THAT SHIT IS SOFT LIKE THE SUPPLE SKIN OF YOUR HEAVENLY BOOTY, YOU NEED SOMETHING TO POUR IT INTO WELL DAMN GOOD THING YOU PICKED UP SOME CONTACT CASES LAST TIME YOU WERE AT THE STORE OR MAYBE YOU HAVE SOME EMPTY CHAPSTICK TUBES OR JUST SOME SMALL TUPPERWARE I DON’T KNOW BUT GOSH YOU ARE SO RESOURCEFUL AND PRETTY YOU DESERVE NICE LIPSTICK LIKE THIS ALSO TAKE SOME TIME FOR YOU THIS WEEKEND AND NEVER FORGET HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU I’M GLAD WE HAD THAT MOMENT TOGETHER NOW BECAUSE NOTHING IS MORE METAL THAN SAFETY, TAKE A THICK HAND TOWEL OR AN OVEN MITT OR SOMETHING AND GRIP THAT BOWL OF COLORFUL GOOP AND POUR GENTLY INTO THAT RECEPTACLE YOU PROCURED. YOU WILL PROBABLY SPILL SOME BUT THAT’S OKAY YOU’RE ONLY HUMAN. POP THAT SHIT IN THE FRIDGE BECAUSE YOU’RE AN IMPATIENT MOTHERFUCKER AND YOU WANT YOUR LIPSTICK NOW GODDAMMIT AND ONCE IT HARDENS SLATHER THAT CREAMY GOODNESS ON THICK, SLIDE ON SOME SUNGLASSES, AND HEAD INTO BATTLE TO DESTROY THE PATRIARCHY CLASS DISMISSED MOTHERFUCKERS DO NOT DO THIS. DO NOT DO THIS. DO NOT DO THIS. NO DO NOT FUCKING DO THIS, CRYON HAS A LOT OF FUCKING LEAD IN IT (four times more than lipstick) PLEASE JUST BUY ACTUAL LIPSTICK. There’s no lead in crayola crayons. Kids eat them. The ingredients in Crayola Crayons are: paraffin, wax, and pigment. They’re made with the understanding that some kids will eat the damn things, so the company that makes Crayons has been very very careful to use non-toxic materials, even going so far as to use a special edible glue on the paper labels. (cornstarch and water, fyi) You can eat Crayons, if you really wanted to, but frankly the flavor’s a little bland. They taste like wax. So, yeah. adding oils with a lower solidification temperature like Olive Oil or Grapeseed or Avocado, and mixing in some Shea or Coconut Butter would make a creamy crayon. Which you could use on your skin, if you wanted. Go wild, use that shit on more than just lips. Use it like theatrical makeup, paint your tits blue if you want. Or use it like paint on the walls, or paper, or canvas. It won’t dry the same way acrylic or watercolor paint will, and will remain ‘workable’ and pliable until the oil looses enough water to solidify, much like, oh, off the top of my head… oil paint. Modern oil paints are very similar to the recipe above, though usually done with Linseed oil or other inert non-organic oils. Organic oils, as they dry, can discolor, making your carefully chosen color look off. Why are some really old painting slightly yellow? Partly the varnish has yellowed, partly airborne pollutants have stained the surface, and partly the oil in the original paint has shifted color. BTW, don’t eat Linseed oil, you’ll get the runs something fierce and regret it a lot. And then you get to go to the doctor and explain why your runny poo is brightly colored. But the amount you’d ingest from lipstick made with crayons? Negligible. Now I really want to make a set of rainbow lipstick to match my rainbow collection of nail polish (which is way more toxic than crayon lipstick, too.) so what you’re saying is i could buy a fuckton of grey crayns and have grey body paint i think i know where that’s going i think we all know where that’s going
OTP: Crayola
 e With
 Preferred by Teachers
 ar E
 CRAYONS
 24
homestuckpatternreference:

iamthesylveon:

f-e-f-e-t-a-c-a-k-e-s:

gryphynshadow:

silencingthedrums:

zeaky:

sliceofbri:

DID YOU MOTHERFUCKERS REALLY THINK YOU WERE DONE WITH ME? I THINK NOT. THAT’S RIGHT IT’S THE SUGAR SCRUB CHICK BACK WITH ANOTHER FUCKING TUTORIAL. YOU BITCHES HAVE BEEN ASKING ME FOR AGES TO MAKE ANOTHER ONE OF THESE FUCKING POSTS AND IT’S FUCKING LATE SO HERE YOU GO FUCKERS WE GON LEARN SOME SHIT SO SIT DOWN AND BE QUIET

SO WE ALL WANT LIPS RED AS THE BLOOD OF ANGRY MEN RIGHT AND WHO DOESN’T FUCKING LIKE ARTS AND CRAFTS AND I DON’T EVEN NEED TO TALK ABOUT HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND LIPSTICK FOR FUCKING COSPLAY SO BEHOLD THE HUMBLE CRAYON YOU LITTLE SHITS

GET A CRAYON. AND NOT JUST ANY CRAYON A FUCKING CRAYOLA CRAYON DON’T EVEN TRY WITH THAT ROSEART SHIT BECAUSE I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND RIP OUT YOUR UVULA. IF YOU WANNA GET REALLY ARTSY WHIP OUT ONE OF THESE BAD BOYS 

AND BREAK UP SOME CRAYONS TO GET THE PERFECT SHADE OF BLUE GREEN FOR THAT BADASS COSPLAY YOU’VE GOT PICKED OUT BUT MARK MY WORDS NO MORE THAN ONE FUCKING CRAYON’S WORTH OF BITS BETTER GO INTO THIS FUCKING BOWL.
SPEAKING OF WHICH, YOU NEED SOME OTHER FUCKING SHIT IN THERE SO GO GET SOME OIL. THE GOOD STUFF. I’M TALKING EVOO BITCHES THE VIRGINAL BLOOD OF THE MOST TENDER OLIVES IN ALL THE LAND. SQUEEZE SOME OF THAT HEAVENLY LUBRICANT INTO YOUR BOWL, ABOUT 1/2 A TEASPOON, THAT’LL DO PIG, THAT’LL DO. NOW GO FIND SOME SHEA BUTTER OR COCONUT OIL AND GLOP ABOUT 1/2 A TEASPOON OF THAT IN YOUR BOWL. NOW GO TO YOUR MAGICAL CABINET OF WONDERS AND FIND SOME NICE SMELLING SHIT. COULD BE VANILLA EXTRACT. COULD BE LAVENDER OIL. I DON’T KNOW BRO WHATEVER YOU THINK SMELLS LIKE THE SILKY UNDERBELLY OF A NEWBORN UNICORN(important note make sure you use a FOOD SAFE oil if it doesn’t say it’s food safe/food grade don’t use it!) GRASP THE BOTTLE FIRMLY, SCREAM LIKE A VICTORIOUS PTERODACTYL, AND DROP 1-4 DROPS OF THAT SWEET SMELLING LIQUID IN THERE.

I HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS RIGHT THERE BECAUSE IT IS THE HEATING VESSEL FOR YOUR GLORIOUS LIPSTICK THAT’S RIGHT LIKE A VIKING WARLORD YOU ARE GOING TO USE A DOUBLE BOILER. SO GET A SAUCEPAN AND HEAT SOME WATER, THEN PLOP THAT SWEET SMELLING BOWL OF OIL AND WAX ON TOP OF THAT STEAMY WATER LIKE THE COLLISION OF YOUR OTP IN A BAD FANFIC OH YEAH. STIR THAT SHIT UNTIL EVERYTHING IS MELTY AND SMOOTH YOU DON’T WANT TO RUIN YOUR SPOONS SO I USE A DISPOSABLE CHOPSTICK FUCK YEAH RECYCLING NOW ONCE THAT SHIT IS SOFT LIKE THE SUPPLE SKIN OF YOUR HEAVENLY BOOTY, YOU NEED SOMETHING TO POUR IT INTO

WELL DAMN GOOD THING YOU PICKED UP SOME CONTACT CASES LAST TIME YOU WERE AT THE STORE OR MAYBE YOU HAVE SOME EMPTY CHAPSTICK TUBES OR JUST SOME SMALL TUPPERWARE I DON’T KNOW BUT GOSH YOU ARE SO RESOURCEFUL AND PRETTY YOU DESERVE NICE LIPSTICK LIKE THIS ALSO TAKE SOME TIME FOR YOU THIS WEEKEND AND NEVER FORGET HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU
I’M GLAD WE HAD THAT MOMENT TOGETHER NOW BECAUSE NOTHING IS MORE METAL THAN SAFETY, TAKE A THICK HAND TOWEL OR AN OVEN MITT OR SOMETHING AND GRIP THAT BOWL OF COLORFUL GOOP AND POUR GENTLY INTO THAT RECEPTACLE YOU PROCURED. YOU WILL PROBABLY SPILL SOME BUT THAT’S OKAY YOU’RE ONLY HUMAN. POP THAT SHIT IN THE FRIDGE BECAUSE YOU’RE AN IMPATIENT MOTHERFUCKER AND YOU WANT YOUR LIPSTICK NOW GODDAMMIT AND ONCE IT HARDENS SLATHER THAT CREAMY GOODNESS ON THICK, SLIDE ON SOME SUNGLASSES, AND HEAD INTO BATTLE TO DESTROY THE PATRIARCHY CLASS DISMISSED MOTHERFUCKERS

DO NOT DO THIS.
DO NOT DO THIS.
DO NOT DO THIS.
NO DO NOT FUCKING DO THIS, CRYON HAS A LOT OF FUCKING LEAD IN IT (four times more than lipstick) PLEASE JUST BUY ACTUAL LIPSTICK.

There’s no lead in crayola crayons. Kids eat them.

The ingredients in Crayola Crayons are: paraffin, wax, and pigment. They’re made with the understanding that some kids will eat the damn things, so the company that makes Crayons has been very very careful to use non-toxic materials, even going so far as to use a special edible glue on the paper labels. (cornstarch and water, fyi)
You can eat Crayons, if you really wanted to, but frankly the flavor’s a little bland. They taste like wax. So, yeah. adding oils with a lower solidification temperature like Olive Oil or Grapeseed or Avocado, and mixing in some Shea or Coconut Butter would make a creamy crayon. Which you could use on your skin, if you wanted.
Go wild, use that shit on more than just lips. Use it like theatrical makeup, paint your tits blue if you want. Or use it like paint on the walls, or paper, or canvas. It won’t dry the same way acrylic or watercolor paint will, and will remain ‘workable’ and pliable until the oil looses enough water to solidify, much like, oh, off the top of my head… oil paint.
Modern oil paints are very similar to the recipe above, though usually done with Linseed oil or other inert non-organic oils. Organic oils, as they dry, can discolor, making your carefully chosen color look off. Why are some really old painting slightly yellow? Partly the varnish has yellowed, partly airborne pollutants have stained the surface, and partly the oil in the original paint has shifted color.
BTW, don’t eat Linseed oil, you’ll get the runs something fierce and regret it a lot. And then you get to go to the doctor and explain why your runny poo is brightly colored. But the amount you’d ingest from lipstick made with crayons? Negligible.
Now I really want to make a set of rainbow lipstick to match my rainbow collection of nail polish (which is way more toxic than crayon lipstick, too.)

so what you’re saying is
i could buy a fuckton of grey crayns
and have grey body paint

i think i know where that’s going

i think we all know where that’s going

homestuckpatternreference: iamthesylveon: f-e-f-e-t-a-c-a-k-e-s: gryphynshadow: silencingthedrums: zeaky: sliceofbri: DID YOU MOTH...

OTP: SOCIAL MEQA EXPLAINE TWITTER I'm EA1N4 A #DONUT FACEBOOk ukE DONVTS EAT DONUT.S INSTAGRAM HERE'S A VİNTAGE PHOTO OF my PONUT し1.KED N ny Sklus iNCLupe poNUT ETING TwHo EATS DONUTS emergencysalsa Tumblr: #this fucking donut #can we talk about this fucking donut for a minute #can we #because on this donut #the sprinkles just comfortably melt into the icing #you can tell that they are so perfectly in tune with each other #and they've come so far from when the sprinkles just sort of sat on top #barely touching for fear of rejection彬ust ugh I can't #otp: comfortably melting thenoodledude 4chan: here's a picture of someone putting their dick in a donut. latinagabi reddit: that donut needs to go back into the kitchen and make me a sandwich salt-water-chardonnay academia.edu: Here is a pdf of the seminar paper I wrote about the erotics/poetics/semiotics/science of donut eating nega-che-chalaga deviantArt:l did not steal this donut. I traced it so now it's mine england-made-a-spooky-blog-and It got better constitutionclass Fanfic.net: The donut is the setting for a high school AU, were two sprinkles meet and realise they have more in common than they ever thought possible however, the mean chocolate sauce has caught wind of their secret relationship. Will they be able to make it together before it's too late? M for a lemon flavoured donut. in-demigodishness-and-all-that This has officially become one of my favorite posts misha-in-the-tardis-at221b I JUST REBLOGGED BUT FANFIC MADE IT PERFECT althor42 Ladies and gentlemen, I present you with: The Internet. skadi-again-again archiveofourown.org: Graphic Depictions of Gluten, doughut/sprinkles doughnut/glaze, doughnut/sprinkles/glaze, doughnut character, sprinkles - character, glaze character, dsg threesome, first time, morning doughnuts, AU - doughnutverse, omg i don't even know, knotting tiltedsyllogism Buzzfeed: 8 Donuts whose secret ingredients will shock you troylerina best post on this website STRANGEBEAVER.com Funny tumblr post
OTP: SOCIAL MEQA EXPLAINE
 TWITTER I'm EA1N4 A #DONUT
 FACEBOOk ukE DONVTS
 EAT DONUT.S
 INSTAGRAM HERE'S A VİNTAGE
 PHOTO OF my PONUT
 し1.KED N
 ny Sklus iNCLupe poNUT ETING
 TwHo EATS DONUTS
 emergencysalsa
 Tumblr: #this fucking donut #can we talk about this fucking donut for a minute
 #can we #because on this donut #the sprinkles just comfortably melt into the
 icing #you can tell that they are so perfectly in tune with each other #and
 they've come so far from when the sprinkles just sort of sat on top #barely
 touching for fear of rejection彬ust ugh I can't #otp: comfortably melting
 thenoodledude
 4chan: here's a picture of someone putting their dick in a donut.
 latinagabi
 reddit: that donut needs to go back into the kitchen and make me a sandwich
 salt-water-chardonnay
 academia.edu: Here is a pdf of the seminar paper I wrote about the
 erotics/poetics/semiotics/science of donut eating
 nega-che-chalaga
 deviantArt:l did not steal this donut. I traced it so now it's mine
 england-made-a-spooky-blog-and
 It got better
 constitutionclass
 Fanfic.net: The donut is the setting for a high school AU, were two sprinkles
 meet and realise they have more in common than they ever thought possible
 however, the mean chocolate sauce has caught wind of their secret
 relationship. Will they be able to make it together before it's too late? M for a
 lemon flavoured donut.
 in-demigodishness-and-all-that
 This has officially become one of my favorite posts
 misha-in-the-tardis-at221b
 I JUST REBLOGGED BUT FANFIC MADE IT PERFECT
 althor42
 Ladies and gentlemen, I present you with: The Internet.
 skadi-again-again
 archiveofourown.org: Graphic Depictions of Gluten, doughut/sprinkles
 doughnut/glaze, doughnut/sprinkles/glaze, doughnut character, sprinkles -
 character, glaze character, dsg threesome, first time, morning doughnuts, AU -
 doughnutverse, omg i don't even know, knotting
 tiltedsyllogism
 Buzzfeed: 8 Donuts whose secret ingredients will shock you
 troylerina
 best post on this website
 STRANGEBEAVER.com
Funny tumblr post

Funny tumblr post

OTP: satodoodle: WIP (?) AraSol will be an otp of mine 5ever
OTP: satodoodle:

WIP (?)
AraSol will be an otp of mine 5ever

satodoodle: WIP (?) AraSol will be an otp of mine 5ever

OTP: nightmare some guy u dont kno that well: What, I don't get a hug? 66,899 notes worstlokisuggestion: hogwartsian-quotes: smudging-sage: alleiradayne: prismatic-bell: midoriko-sama: oxfordcommaforever: han-syolo-shot-first: bubblegumsith: cosmic-noir: twowandsandadrink: ashkinator: politicalsexmaskitten: hooraychelle: yellowxperil: srsly tho this is absolutely a thing that dudes do all the f***ing time like where if he knows a girl doesn’t necessarily want to give him a hug, he will trap her in this position in front of witnesses where she has 2 options- both of which are undesirable for her, while simultaneously desirable for him if she doesn’t want to hug him, whatever she does, it will suck for her. she can 1. say nah and be the fucking asshole in front of other ppl or 2. forsake her corporeal boundaries and allow unwanted intimate contact it’s a f***ing trap F***ing hate dudes forreal. too many f***ing times ugh Story time.One day I was on the MAX (basically a giant street car that goes all over the metro area) on my way to meet up with a few friends. I didn’t look at anyone, I didn’t speak to anyone, I just stood to the side on my phone making sure I wasn’t going to be late to my meeting.Out of no where, this guy comes up to me and starts to chat me up. Me, being who I am, am absolutely terrified to tell this guy to f*** off. He was at least half a foot taller than me, and was way too bulky for me to fight back. So I suck it up at humor him, say hello. Before introducing himself or asking me for my name, he asks me out on a date. Not wanting to piss him off I try to make light of the situation and I laugh, telling him that my boyfriend wouldn’t like the idea, but thank you for the offer. He just shrugs and says, “He doesn’t need to know.”At this point I’m scared out of my mind. There’s this guy who, after seeing me run two blocks to catch the train, comes up to me and has made it perfectly clear that he wasn’t going to leave without getting something out of me.I deny him a second time, saying, “I don’t even know you’re name. We’re strangers, I don’t know you.” He finally introduces himself and asks me for my phone number. I tell him I don’t give my number out to people I’ve just met and he says, “Fine, but at least take mine so we can meet up later.” So he watches me plug his number into my phone (which I deleted as soon as I knew I was safe and away from him) as we’re pulling up to my stop. I tell him I need to leave and switch trains and he tells me, “Oh, I’ll wait with you. I don’t have any plans, so I’m in no rush.” It’s important to note what at this point he had previously told me that he was late to a job interview, but he has all the time in the world because he still hasn’t gotten what he wanted from me; a yes.I get off of the train and he follows me, and waits at the platform with me for over ten minutes until my train arrives, asking me all sorts of personal questions about where I live and where I was going that day. As soon as the train pulls up he grabs for me and says, “Do I at least get a hug before you go?”I was terrified. I was embarrassed. This dude, who before even asking me for my name asks me out on a date and then continues to harass me after I tell him I have a boyfriend, asks me for a hug only fifteen minutes after meeting. People around us were staring at me, as if I was being rude for denying him, and every inch of me was mortified. I wanted to run, but I felt like if I had done that he would have chased after me and things would have gotten worse. So I did, and he squeezed me so tight I felt like I was going to burst. It took me a good ten seconds to get him to let go and I ran to the train car just as the doors were closing. He was trying to get me to miss my train so I would have to wait with him even longer. I would have been stuck there for over a half an hour until the next train came by, and the platform (aside from the few buses coming by) was now COMPLETELY EMPTY. He knew EXACTLY what he was doing and he knew EXACTLY how to get me alone with him.People, if you are in a situation like this do not feel obligated to give in. If someone is making you uncomfortable and asks to touch you in any way, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO SAY YES. Make excuses, be blunt, just straight up say ‘no’. If possible, go to someone else near by who you think can help you and ask them to help you. It’s important for guys to learn that they can’t get what they want just by asking over and over again.I got lucky. But not everyone does. Please, everyone, Be Safe. SECOND STORY TIME So I was on the transit bus alone one time. This was my first time riding, and so already I was PETRIFIED. I sit down, pull out my ipod, and begin to play some games. This guy sits down next to me, and begins trying to have a conversation. I don’t really respond, I don’t even look at him, just give half-hearted “mhm”s and “oh”s, as I don’t want to be rude if he was just striking up a friendly conversation. He then asks me on a date. Now, as I stated before, I already was absolutely petrified. My heart stopped and I didn’t know how to answer. So I just didn’t. He didn’t let up and I could feel his eyes on me. I quietly stammer out a “no thanks” and my stop HAPPENS to be coming up, so I pull the string thing to let the driver know I want to stop there, and once we stop and the doors open I get up and he asks me, “Well, can I at least have a hug before you go if you won’t go on a date with me?”  This makes me break. There are now people staring, as we are the only people standing up and not getting off… So I just start crying. Hell, I am bawling almost instantly. He looks so fucking freaked out and people are now getting up to come over and comfort me/question him. I don’t stop crying, and he keeps trying to comfort me by touching me, and people are yelling at him for that.  AND THEN. AND. FUCKING. THEN. THE GOD DAMN BUS DRIVER. A VERY EASILY 6 FOOT BURLY MAN. COMES OVER TO US. PULLS THE GUY AWAY. AND KNEELS DOWN. HE THEN ASKS, IN THE MOST CALM VOICE, “Did you request the stop?” I very slowly and shakily nod, as I am still crying my eyes out. He then asks, “Do you want to get off?” I give a quiet “mhm” and nod once again, and he offers me his hand. I take it, he stands up, and he escorts me off the bus. He asks me questions such as where I was going next, if I was going to meet someone shortly, if I was going to transfer buses from there. He was very polite and waited for me to answer the entire time, and my friend (who I was going to be meeting there) showed up. He asked me if this was someone I knew, I said yes, and he said alright, have a good day. He then told me- and this is something stuck in my mind forever, so it is word for word- “If some guy EVER starts harassing you like that again, do exactly what you did there. Cry. Cry and scream and have a temper tantrum. Not only will it throw him off, but it will get others to notice. They might not interfere, they might, but you will have gotten their attention and if you happen to go missing the next day the search for you will be a hell of a lot easier because everyone in that location will have seen you screaming and crying with a guy now very awkward with his actions. They will know. That is what my daughter did, and three days after she went missing she was back in my arms. I pray for you and every other person like you who has this done. You stay safe now, okay?” And after I began blubbering again, I nodded and he left. So this is the second lesson for yall. If you can not have the courage to say no or make an excuse, cry. Let out those sobs and tears and cry your heart out. Because it is going to make people notice and make people aware. Reblogging for that second story. This might save a life. I just wanna note that bus drivers can be really amazing and good ones do look out for their riders. Also, as an additional tip (in case you cannot cry on command or such), you can say, “No, because you’re creepy/creeping me out” and if he persists or tries to laugh it off, say “I do not want to be touched” and look at one of the strangers/persons that is watching. It:1. Gives them a sense of urgency in the situation, as the eye contact is a way to make them feel as though you are personally asking for their help and it is now their obligation to help.2. Contains words so that if you’re in a public place but people aren’t necessarily watching, then they (as natural evesdroppers) can overhear the attention-grabbing words and then notice the situation. Note, this does NOT mean that they will come for help, but you might be able to look someone in the eye (as previously mentioned) or just get some people’s attention.3. It shows that you have fight in you. As with rapists, those who are physically aggressive (ie. these huggers) choose women they see as an easy target. The moment you show them you are going/willing to fight them, they are less likely to continue. Sadly, this is not always the case, but every little bit helps. Hopes this also helps, guys, and I’m so sad that this has to even be a post we need. Dudes who follow me: 1) reblog this 2) don’t be the creepy guy who asks random women for hugs 3) be aware of your friends or random creepy dudes and call them out if they act gross towards girls/womem Ok, I wasn’t going to comment about this, because there was no way of doing it without talking about a part of my life I really didn’t want to. But fuck that, there be young girls out there who need a hand. So I used to be hot when I was young. I mean, model hot, because I actually used to model. Even now, I’ve let myself go on purpose because I was tired of the harassment. But I fit a UK size 6 with a pert ass from volleyball and a cup c breast. As you can imagine, I couldn’t wear anything or go ANYWHERE without being harassed. I sometimes even happened in church. Anyway, I’m not a shrinking lily, and when I get angry enough I can do some crazy shit. So here are some of my coping mechanisms: 1) find a matronly looking lady, run up to her with ‘aunt may! I haven’t seen you in ages! ’ then whisper ‘please help he’s harassing me!’. 99.9 times out of 100, she will be scandalised and help you anyway even if she’s annoyed or in a hurry. If no older lady is available, find a younger one, or a nun, or a trans lady. We of the sisterhood know what it is to be harnessed, and I guarantee if you look frightened enough, they will help. 2) If you are out alone at night, and someone is following you, spot a house or apartment where the lights are on and knock, asking ‘mum’ or ‘dad’ or ‘john’ to let you in. Even if the people inside are annoyed, odds are they won’t turn you away, and you can phone someone to pick you up, or phone the police from a safe space 3) Make noise. Cry and scream loudly, call them out ‘i don’t know you and you are terrifying me! Please get away from me!’ if there are people around. Even if they don’t help directly for fear of their own safety, someone around you is calling security or 911. 4) speak a foreign language. If you know it, speak the language to them fast and incessantly, like you have just met someone you knew and you’re just giving the best performance rant of why your OTP is the best OTP. Make yourself ANNOYING. Think about what would be awkward and annoying to you and make it what you do to them. If you make them think YOU are something to get away from they will leave you in peace. Now beware, the following ones are the CRAZY ones and may not always work. But they are a valid last resort: 5) stare at them. Stare at them like you’re hungry and they are a hapless deer you’re going to tear to pieces. Like yours the girl from the ring emerging from the TV to kill them. Don’t smile, don’t change your expression. DON’T BLINK. Hold their state like you’re Wednesday Adams about to do unspeakable things to a spider, and they are the spider. Even the most courageous of stalkers balk at this, but if they don’t… 6) Use the Hannibal Lector. After staring at them for and extended period of time (imagine all the things that have made you scared, imagine you could get revenge on them for putting you here, that’s the thought you need to have), if they are getting closer to you, whisper something like ‘i would fry your liver in garlic’. Even the hardiest ones will be taken aback, but keep it up while making sure you don’t let the others hear you. Things like, occult star readings requiring blood, wondering whether he is the offering the spirits sent. If you’re on this site you’ve read some weird shit at least once. Tell him that. Tell him you would like him to meet your lord, Vlad the Impaler, who requires much blood to be appeased. Be a stereotypical ‘crazy bitch’ like they see in the movies. Believe it or not, this has worked for me twice. Above all, banish the notion that you have to be polite. They were impolite by approaching you. If you can, ignore them. If you are not alone, pointedly put headphones in your ear, and don’t make eye contact, wait for them to realise that ‘youre a bitch anyway’ and move away. If you are alone, evade and find places and ways to fix that as soon as POSSIBLE. And if all else fails, summon Satan. Something I have learned at work: Never underestimate the power of a good “EXCUSE me????” Legit. It makes people STOP IN THEIR TRACKS. This is the one I whip out when people start swearing at me over the headset and always, without fail, they stop what they’re saying, shocked. Go for offended, and go for loud. Not yelling loud, but giving-your-best-presentation loud. “EXCUSE me??? You approached me two minutes ago, I don’t even know your name, and you want WHAT? Creep.” For one, the presentation will shock them. For another, that indignant tone? EVERYONE AROUND YOU IS GOING TO WANT TO LISTEN TO THIS JUICY SHIT. Now the second key here is, DON’T LET HIM JADE (justify, argue, defend, explain). He smiles and goes “I just wanted–” FUCKING INTERRUPT HIM. Firmly. Irritably. “I heard what you wanted, and I’ve already declined once. Maybe you should go back to kindergarten where they teach you no means no.” Run right over the fucker. He’s not respecting your words, you don’t need to respect his. A further note: if you’re an iPhone user, you can use Siri to call 911. (I know Android has a similar function, but I don’t know what it is–play with your AI and find out.) If you’re in a secluded area, this works well; I used to walk home from work at 2am and had to do it twice. Make eye contact with your harasser, activate Siri, and loudly, firmly say “Siri, call 911.” Siri will immediately reply “calling emergency services.” (It actually takes five seconds to activate, but there’s a Call Now button if you need it.) Almost ALWAYS the person harassing you would rather take off than wait for you to get a dispatcher on the line. As they say on the podcast, My Favorite Murder: Fuck Politeness. This is NOT the kind of thing I usually post on here, but this is something that every female [or, every person honestly, harrassment isnt a one way street]needs to see. This is a fairly active blog, so I hope to see numerous reblogs. Who cares that this isn’t Harry Potter it’s important stay safe people
OTP: nightmare
 some guy u dont kno that well: What, I don't get a hug?
 66,899 notes
worstlokisuggestion:

hogwartsian-quotes:

smudging-sage:

alleiradayne:

prismatic-bell:

midoriko-sama:


oxfordcommaforever:

han-syolo-shot-first:

bubblegumsith:

cosmic-noir:

twowandsandadrink:

ashkinator:

politicalsexmaskitten:

hooraychelle:

yellowxperil:

srsly tho this is absolutely a thing that dudes do all the f***ing time
like where if he knows a girl doesn’t necessarily want to give him a hug, he will trap her in this position in front of witnesses where she has 2 options- both of which are undesirable for her, while simultaneously desirable for him
if she doesn’t want to hug him, whatever she does, it will suck for her.
she can 1. say nah and be the fucking asshole in front of other ppl or 2. forsake her corporeal boundaries and allow unwanted intimate contact
it’s a f***ing trap

F***ing hate dudes forreal.

too many f***ing times ugh

Story time.One day I was on the MAX (basically a giant street car that goes all over the metro area) on my way to meet up with a few friends. I didn’t look at anyone, I didn’t speak to anyone, I just stood to the side on my phone making sure I wasn’t going to be late to my meeting.Out of no where, this guy comes up to me and starts to chat me up. Me, being who I am, am absolutely terrified to tell this guy to f*** off. He was at least half a foot taller than me, and was way too bulky for me to fight back. So I suck it up at humor him, say hello. Before introducing himself or asking me for my name, he asks me out on a date. Not wanting to piss him off I try to make light of the situation and I laugh, telling him that my boyfriend wouldn’t like the idea, but thank you for the offer. He just shrugs and says, “He doesn’t need to know.”At this point I’m scared out of my mind. There’s this guy who, after seeing me run two blocks to catch the train, comes up to me and has made it perfectly clear that he wasn’t going to leave without getting something out of me.I deny him a second time, saying, “I don’t even know you’re name. We’re strangers, I don’t know you.” He finally introduces himself and asks me for my phone number. I tell him I don’t give my number out to people I’ve just met and he says, “Fine, but at least take mine so we can meet up later.” So he watches me plug his number into my phone (which I deleted as soon as I knew I was safe and away from him) as we’re pulling up to my stop. I tell him I need to leave and switch trains and he tells me, “Oh, I’ll wait with you. I don’t have any plans, so I’m in no rush.” It’s important to note what at this point he had previously told me that he was late to a job interview, but he has all the time in the world because he still hasn’t gotten what he wanted from me; a yes.I get off of the train and he follows me, and waits at the platform with me for over ten minutes until my train arrives, asking me all sorts of personal questions about where I live and where I was going that day. As soon as the train pulls up he grabs for me and says, “Do I at least get a hug before you go?”I was terrified. I was embarrassed. This dude, who before even asking me for my name asks me out on a date and then continues to harass me after I tell him I have a boyfriend, asks me for a hug only fifteen minutes after meeting. People around us were staring at me, as if I was being rude for denying him, and every inch of me was mortified. I wanted to run, but I felt like if I had done that he would have chased after me and things would have gotten worse. So I did, and he squeezed me so tight I felt like I was going to burst. It took me a good ten seconds to get him to let go and I ran to the train car just as the doors were closing. He was trying to get me to miss my train so I would have to wait with him even longer. I would have been stuck there for over a half an hour until the next train came by, and the platform (aside from the few buses coming by) was now COMPLETELY EMPTY. He knew EXACTLY what he was doing and he knew EXACTLY how to get me alone with him.People, if you are in a situation like this do not feel obligated to give in. If someone is making you uncomfortable and asks to touch you in any way, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO SAY YES. Make excuses, be blunt, just straight up say ‘no’. If possible, go to someone else near by who you think can help you and ask them to help you. It’s important for guys to learn that they can’t get what they want just by asking over and over again.I got lucky. But not everyone does. Please, everyone, Be Safe.

SECOND STORY TIME
So I was on the transit bus alone one time. This was my first time riding, and so already I was PETRIFIED. I sit down, pull out my ipod, and begin to play some games. This guy sits down next to me, and begins trying to have a conversation. I don’t really respond, I don’t even look at him, just give half-hearted “mhm”s and “oh”s, as I don’t want to be rude if he was just striking up a friendly conversation. He then asks me on a date.
Now, as I stated before, I already was absolutely petrified. My heart stopped and I didn’t know how to answer. So I just didn’t. He didn’t let up and I could feel his eyes on me. I quietly stammer out a “no thanks” and my stop HAPPENS to be coming up, so I pull the string thing to let the driver know I want to stop there, and once we stop and the doors open I get up and he asks me, “Well, can I at least have a hug before you go if you won’t go on a date with me?” 
This makes me break. There are now people staring, as we are the only people standing up and not getting off… So I just start crying. Hell, I am bawling almost instantly. He looks so fucking freaked out and people are now getting up to come over and comfort me/question him. I don’t stop crying, and he keeps trying to comfort me by touching me, and people are yelling at him for that. 
AND THEN. AND. FUCKING. THEN. THE GOD DAMN BUS DRIVER. A VERY EASILY 6 FOOT BURLY MAN. COMES OVER TO US. PULLS THE GUY AWAY. AND KNEELS DOWN. HE THEN ASKS, IN THE MOST CALM VOICE, “Did you request the stop?” I very slowly and shakily nod, as I am still crying my eyes out. He then asks, “Do you want to get off?” I give a quiet “mhm” and nod once again, and he offers me his hand. I take it, he stands up, and he escorts me off the bus. He asks me questions such as where I was going next, if I was going to meet someone shortly, if I was going to transfer buses from there. He was very polite and waited for me to answer the entire time, and my friend (who I was going to be meeting there) showed up. He asked me if this was someone I knew, I said yes, and he said alright, have a good day. He then told me- and this is something stuck in my mind forever, so it is word for word-
“If some guy EVER starts harassing you like that again, do exactly what you did there. Cry. Cry and scream and have a temper tantrum. Not only will it throw him off, but it will get others to notice. They might not interfere, they might, but you will have gotten their attention and if you happen to go missing the next day the search for you will be a hell of a lot easier because everyone in that location will have seen you screaming and crying with a guy now very awkward with his actions. They will know. That is what my daughter did, and three days after she went missing she was back in my arms. I pray for you and every other person like you who has this done. You stay safe now, okay?” And after I began blubbering again, I nodded and he left.
So this is the second lesson for yall. If you can not have the courage to say no or make an excuse, cry. Let out those sobs and tears and cry your heart out. Because it is going to make people notice and make people aware.

Reblogging for that second story. This might save a life.

I just wanna note that bus drivers can be really amazing and good ones do look out for their riders.

Also, as an additional tip (in case you cannot cry on command or such), you can say, “No, because you’re creepy/creeping me out” and if he persists or tries to laugh it off, say “I do not want to be touched” and look at one of the strangers/persons that is watching.
It:1. Gives them a sense of urgency in the situation, as the eye contact is a way to make them feel as though you are personally asking for their help and it is now their obligation to help.2. Contains words so that if you’re in a public place but people aren’t necessarily watching, then they (as natural evesdroppers) can overhear the attention-grabbing words and then notice the situation. Note, this does NOT mean that they will come for help, but you might be able to look someone in the eye (as previously mentioned) or just get some people’s attention.3. It shows that you have fight in you. As with rapists, those who are physically aggressive (ie. these huggers) choose women they see as an easy target. The moment you show them you are going/willing to fight them, they are less likely to continue. Sadly, this is not always the case, but every little bit helps.
Hopes this also helps, guys, and I’m so sad that this has to even be a post we need.


Dudes who follow me: 1) reblog this 2) don’t be the creepy guy who asks random women for hugs 3) be aware of your friends or random creepy dudes and call them out if they act gross towards girls/womem

Ok, I wasn’t going to comment about this, because there was no way of doing it without talking about a part of my life I really didn’t want to. But fuck that, there be young girls out there who need a hand.
So I used to be hot when I was young. I mean, model hot, because I actually used to model. Even now, I’ve let myself go on purpose because I was tired of the harassment. But I fit a UK size 6 with a pert ass from volleyball and a cup c breast. As you can imagine, I couldn’t wear anything or go ANYWHERE without being harassed. I sometimes even happened in church.
Anyway, I’m not a shrinking lily, and when I get angry enough I can do some crazy shit. So here are some of my coping mechanisms:
1) find a matronly looking lady, run up to her with ‘aunt may! I haven’t seen you in ages! ’ then whisper ‘please help he’s harassing me!’. 99.9 times out of 100, she will be scandalised and help you anyway even if she’s annoyed or in a hurry. If no older lady is available, find a younger one, or a nun, or a trans lady. We of the sisterhood know what it is to be harnessed, and I guarantee if you look frightened enough, they will help.
2) If you are out alone at night, and someone is following you, spot a house or apartment where the lights are on and knock, asking ‘mum’ or ‘dad’ or ‘john’ to let you in. Even if the people inside are annoyed, odds are they won’t turn you away, and you can phone someone to pick you up, or phone the police from a safe space
3) Make noise. Cry and scream loudly, call them out ‘i don’t know you and you are terrifying me! Please get away from me!’ if there are people around. Even if they don’t help directly for fear of their own safety, someone around you is calling security or 911.
4) speak a foreign language. If you know it, speak the language to them fast and incessantly, like you have just met someone you knew and you’re just giving the best performance rant of why your OTP is the best OTP. Make yourself ANNOYING. Think about what would be awkward and annoying to you and make it what you do to them. If you make them think YOU are something to get away from they will leave you in peace.
Now beware, the following ones are the CRAZY ones and may not always work. But they are a valid last resort:
5) stare at them. Stare at them like you’re hungry and they are a hapless deer you’re going to tear to pieces. Like yours the girl from the ring emerging from the TV to kill them. Don’t smile, don’t change your expression. DON’T BLINK. Hold their state like you’re Wednesday Adams about to do unspeakable things to a spider, and they are the spider. Even the most courageous of stalkers balk at this, but if they don’t…
6) Use the Hannibal Lector. After staring at them for and extended period of time (imagine all the things that have made you scared, imagine you could get revenge on them for putting you here, that’s the thought you need to have), if they are getting closer to you, whisper something like ‘i would fry your liver in garlic’. Even the hardiest ones will be taken aback, but keep it up while making sure you don’t let the others hear you. Things like, occult star readings requiring blood, wondering whether he is the offering the spirits sent. If you’re on this site you’ve read some weird shit at least once. Tell him that. Tell him you would like him to meet your lord, Vlad the Impaler, who requires much blood to be appeased. Be a stereotypical ‘crazy bitch’ like they see in the movies. Believe it or not, this has worked for me twice.
Above all, banish the notion that you have to be polite.
They were impolite by approaching you. If you can, ignore them. If you are not alone, pointedly put headphones in your ear, and don’t make eye contact, wait for them to realise that ‘youre a bitch anyway’ and move away. If you are alone, evade and find places and ways to fix that as soon as POSSIBLE.
And if all else fails, summon Satan.


Something I have learned at work:
Never underestimate the power of a good “EXCUSE me????”
Legit. It makes people STOP IN THEIR TRACKS. This is the one I whip out when people start swearing at me over the headset and always, without fail, they stop what they’re saying, shocked.
Go for offended, and go for loud. Not yelling loud, but giving-your-best-presentation loud. “EXCUSE me??? You approached me two minutes ago, I don’t even know your name, and you want WHAT? Creep.”
For one, the presentation will shock them. For another, that indignant tone? EVERYONE AROUND YOU IS GOING TO WANT TO LISTEN TO THIS JUICY SHIT.
Now the second key here is, DON’T LET HIM JADE (justify, argue, defend, explain). He smiles and goes “I just wanted–” FUCKING INTERRUPT HIM. Firmly. Irritably. “I heard what you wanted, and I’ve already declined once. Maybe you should go back to kindergarten where they teach you no means no.” Run right over the fucker. He’s not respecting your words, you don’t need to respect his.
A further note: if you’re an iPhone user, you can use Siri to call 911. (I know Android has a similar function, but I don’t know what it is–play with your AI and find out.) If you’re in a secluded area, this works well; I used to walk home from work at 2am and had to do it twice. Make eye contact with your harasser, activate Siri, and loudly, firmly say “Siri, call 911.” Siri will immediately reply “calling emergency services.” (It actually takes five seconds to activate, but there’s a Call Now button if you need it.) Almost ALWAYS the person harassing you would rather take off than wait for you to get a dispatcher on the line.

As they say on the podcast, My Favorite Murder:
Fuck Politeness.


This is NOT the kind of thing I usually post on here, but this is something that every female [or, every person honestly, harrassment isnt a one way street]needs to see. This is a fairly active blog, so I hope to see numerous reblogs.


Who cares that this isn’t Harry Potter it’s important 

stay safe people

worstlokisuggestion: hogwartsian-quotes: smudging-sage: alleiradayne: prismatic-bell: midoriko-sama: oxfordcommaforever: han-syol...