It
It

It

A
A

A

My
My

My

Https
Https

Https

Had
Had

Had

Ben Simmons
Ben Simmons

Ben Simmons

If You
If You

If You

Are
Are

Are

With
With

With

Was
Was

Was

🔥 | Latest

Apparently, Bad, and Beef: Paris Hilton KA PA D.O.B. 1981-02-17 Soclalite Actor TV Personality MEAN 33% OK 10% NICE 67% Best known for: The Simple Life Hilton sex tape Paris Hilton's My New BFF SHARE YOUR STORY Stories Random Things My Step Sister Told Me Some random things told to me by my step sister who used to work for Paris: Paris has a room full of vintage radios from ww2 aircraft and the like. She restores them. There is always a smell of burning coming from the room. Nobody is allowed in. She has a telescope on a platform. My sister was often required to climb onto the roof with beef sandwiches and a flask of tea as Paris was up there looking at the sky. She also has 100's of notebooks full of numbers which somehow relate to what she sees through the telescope Behind closed doors Paris only wears pajamas which she gets delivered from the British store Marks and Spencers She doesn't come across as dim like she does when the cameras are around. She's very quiet. She bought my sister a playstation and some reindeer socks for Christmas Saved Me In Germany And Towed Me To A Garage My car broke down on an autobahn in Germany. Managed to coast to sort of layby thing with a burger van and toilets in it. I was in a bad state because I can't speak any German, my phone had no credit and I didn't have my breakdown details with me so I had no idea what to do. I unsuccessfully asked the guy in the burger van for help and he apparently didn't speak English so rather pathetically I started to cry. Then this big old American guy appeared and offered me a cup of tea in his motor home (it wasn't proper tea but that's besides the point). In the van was another guy and friggin Paris Hilton! I kid ye not. She was sweet and made me a sandwich and gave me a hug then proceeded to talk to me for 30mins about some old radio bits she'd bought in some show in Freidrichshafen. I didn't understand most of it. She said that when she wasn't working she liked to drive about Europe going to radio and air shows as if she put a hat on nobody ever recognised her. Then they towed me to a garage at about 40km per hour (scarey stuff on the autobahn). Oh yeah and she sat in my car and asked if it was ok before she smoked. theghostofallexander: zodiacbaby: prominent-nipple: oh my gOD LMFAOOLL WHAAATT oh my god
Apparently, Bad, and Beef: Paris Hilton
 KA
 PA
 D.O.B. 1981-02-17 Soclalite Actor TV Personality
 MEAN
 33%
 OK 10%
 NICE
 67%
 Best known for:
 The Simple Life
 Hilton sex tape
 Paris Hilton's My New BFF
 SHARE YOUR STORY
 Stories

 Random Things My Step Sister Told Me
 Some random things told to me by my step sister who used to work for Paris: Paris has a room full of vintage
 radios from ww2 aircraft and the like. She restores them.
 There is always a smell of burning coming from the room. Nobody is allowed in.
 She has a telescope on a platform. My sister was often required to climb onto the roof with beef sandwiches and a
 flask of tea as Paris was up there looking at the sky.
 She also has 100's of notebooks full of numbers which somehow relate to what she sees through the telescope
 Behind closed doors Paris only wears pajamas which she gets delivered from the British store Marks and
 Spencers
 She doesn't come across as dim like she does when the cameras are around. She's very quiet.
 She bought my sister a playstation and some reindeer socks for Christmas

 Saved Me In Germany And Towed Me To A Garage
 My car broke down on an autobahn in Germany. Managed to coast to sort of layby thing with a burger van and
 toilets in it. I was in a bad state because I can't speak any German, my phone had no credit and I didn't have my
 breakdown details with me so I had no idea what to do.
 I unsuccessfully asked the guy in the burger van for help and he apparently didn't speak English so rather
 pathetically I started to cry. Then this big old American guy appeared and offered me a cup of tea in his motor
 home (it wasn't proper tea but that's besides the point). In the van was another guy and friggin Paris Hilton! I kid
 ye not.
 She was sweet and made me a sandwich and gave me a hug then proceeded to talk to me for 30mins about
 some old radio bits she'd bought in some show in Freidrichshafen. I didn't understand most of it. She said that
 when she wasn't working she liked to drive about Europe going to radio and air shows as if she put a hat on
 nobody ever recognised her.
 Then they towed me to a garage at about 40km per hour (scarey stuff on the autobahn). Oh yeah and she sat in
 my car and asked if it was ok before she smoked.
theghostofallexander:

zodiacbaby:

prominent-nipple:

oh my gOD

LMFAOOLL WHAAATT

oh my god

theghostofallexander: zodiacbaby: prominent-nipple: oh my gOD LMFAOOLL WHAAATT oh my god

Beautiful, Bored, and Head: Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix: The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex- periment with a new form called the tandem story The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home- work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para- graph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another para- graph to the story and send it back, also sending an- other copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab- solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any- thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a con- clusion has been reached." The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit. (Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per- manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news si- multaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and care- free, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec- onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em- pires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en- tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie. (Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin- istic semi-literate adolescent. Gary) Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!" Gary) B*tch. (Rebecca) F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea. A+ Ireally liked this one. epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’
Beautiful, Bored, and Head: Here's a prime example of "Men Are
 From Mars, Women Are From Venus"
 offered by an English professor from
 the University of Phoenix:
 The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex-
 periment with a new form called the tandem story
 The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the
 person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home-
 work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph
 of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para-
 graph and send another copy to me. The partner will
 read the first paragraph and then add another para-
 graph to the story and send it back, also sending an-
 other copy to me. The first person will then add a third
 paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.
 Remember to re-read what has been written each time
 in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab-
 solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any-
 thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail.
 The story is over when both agree a con-
 clusion has been reached."
 The following was actually turned in by two of his
 English students:
 Rebecca and Gary
 THE STORY:
 (first paragraph by Rebecca)
 At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea
 she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her
 favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded
 her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier
 times, that he liked chamomile.
 But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
 mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating,
 and if she thought about him too much her asthma
 started acting up again. So chamomile was out of
 the
 second paragraph by Gary)
 Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of
 the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4,
 had more important things to think about than the
 neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named
 Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night
 over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he
 said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar
 orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But
 before he could sign off a bluish particle beam
 flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through
 his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent
 him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit.
 (Rebecca)
 He bumped his head and died almost immediately,
 but not before he felt one last pang of regret for
 psychically brutalizing the one woman who had
 ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth
 stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace
 ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per-
 manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie
 read in her newspaper one morning. The news si-
 multaneously excited her and bored her. She
 stared out the window, dreaming of her youth,
 when the days had passed unhurriedly and care-
 free, with no newspaper to read, no television to
 distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at
 all the beautiful things around
 her. "Why must one
 lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
 pondered wistfully
 Gary)
 Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec-
 onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the
 Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its
 lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy
 peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace
 disarmament Treaty through the congress had left
 Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em-
 pires who were determined to destroy the human
 race. Within two hours after the passage of the
 treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for
 Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the
 With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated
 their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en-
 tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President,
 in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters
 on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
 inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized
 poor, stupid Laurie.
 (Rebecca)
 This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
 literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin-
 istic semi-literate adolescent.
 Gary)
 Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered
 tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the
 literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have
 chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of
 F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an
 air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle
 Steele novels!"
 Gary)
 B*tch.
 (Rebecca)
 F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI
 In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.
 A+
 Ireally liked this one.
epicjohndoe:

A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’

epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’

Ass, Lol, and Nudes: lweet A Boogie @BoogieBankss 22h I had a chick go behind my car and text her homegirl my plate number before she got in the car with me. 58 163 415 @saintcleopatra 17h Did you enjoy your date? O 1 04 A Boogie @BoogieBankss Replying to @saintcleopatra I left her ass there and went home lol Not taking no woman nowhere that's doin all that. 7/17/17, 3:22 PM 23 Retweets 25 Likes itsgonnabeacoldwinter-soldier: furbytheminx: dandridgegirl: adreamdeferred: dynastylnoire: blackgirloutrage2: PAY ATTENTION! This is how you weed out the men who deserve your time and the ones that don’t. These dudes are literally telling you who they are, but y'all refuse to listen. Your safety comes first. I’m in a FB group where dudes 30 and older were having full tantrums over this post. These are the same guys that admit: Not deleting nudes post break up Not believing when women that were sexually assaulted Not believing sex with a partner that is sleeping is rape Etc. Please do not date people that take issue with your protecting yourself. i deadass took a picture of my dates license and sent to my homegirls in the gc. and turned on my location. yea you cool but it’s always about me and my safety. Men who aren’t trash should already know this is commonplace. One of my last dates even offered to take a picture together for my safety text. Men who get mad when women try to protect themselves are just telling on themselves, nothing more. All you people out there talking about “spreading my private information” like you don’t drive around with your liscense plate out there for everyone and their mom to see all day every day. Sit down. Shut up. She didn’t ask for your social security number you absolute acorn. Your plates are public knowledge.
Ass, Lol, and Nudes: lweet
 A Boogie @BoogieBankss 22h
 I had a chick go behind my car and text
 her homegirl my plate number before
 she got in the car with me.
 58 163 415
 @saintcleopatra 17h
 Did you enjoy your date?
 O 1
 04
 A Boogie
 @BoogieBankss
 Replying to @saintcleopatra
 I left her ass there and went home lol
 Not taking no woman nowhere that's
 doin all that.
 7/17/17, 3:22 PM
 23 Retweets 25 Likes
itsgonnabeacoldwinter-soldier:

furbytheminx:

dandridgegirl:


adreamdeferred:


dynastylnoire:


blackgirloutrage2:

PAY ATTENTION! This is how you weed out the men who deserve your time and the ones that don’t. These dudes are literally telling you who they are, but y'all refuse to listen. Your safety comes first.

I’m in a FB group where dudes 30 and older were having full tantrums over this post. These are the same guys that admit:
Not deleting nudes post break up
Not believing when women that were sexually assaulted 
Not believing sex with a partner that is sleeping is rape
Etc. 
Please do not date people that take issue with your protecting yourself.


i deadass took a picture of my dates license and sent to my homegirls in the gc. and turned on my location. yea you cool but it’s always about me and my safety. 


Men who aren’t trash should already know this is commonplace. One of my last dates even offered to take a picture together for my safety text. 


Men who get mad when women try to protect themselves are just telling on themselves, nothing more. 


All you people out there talking about “spreading my private information” like you don’t drive around with your liscense plate out there for everyone and their mom to see all day every day. Sit down. Shut up. She didn’t ask for your social security number you absolute acorn. Your plates are public knowledge.

itsgonnabeacoldwinter-soldier: furbytheminx: dandridgegirl: adreamdeferred: dynastylnoire: blackgirloutrage2: PAY ATTENTION! This i...