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    Bad, Fucking, and God: Sexy
 Bible Quotes, Inspired by Some Birds my Friend saw
 Fucking Outside her House,
ao3tagoftheday:

oxymoronicromantic:

ao3tagoftheday:

[Image Description: Tags reading “sexy bible quotes, inspired by some birds my friend saw fucking outside her house”]

The AO3 Tag of the Day is: This is one hell of a non-sequitor 

“On the day when the Lord spoke to Moses in the land of Egypt, 29 the Lord said to Moses, “I am the Lord; tell Pharaoh king of Egypt all that I say to you.” 30 But Moses said to the Lord, “Behold, I am of uncircumcised lips. How will Pharaoh listen to me?”
7 And the Lord said to Moses, “See, I have made you like God to Pharaoh, and your brother Aaron shall be your prophet. 2 You shall speak all that I command you, and your brother Aaron shall tell Pharaoh to let the people of Israel go out of his land.”
…I don’t think it’s telling anyone that they’re doing activism wrong????
Anyways. Song of Songs is sexier.

Ok! First off, thanks for putting the verses in; that makes my life easier! Second, Song of Songs is undoubtedly sexy, but the phrase “uncircumcised lips” is much sexier. Here’s why:“Uncircumcised lips” is a literal translation of the Hebrew, and scholars have spent millennia trying to figure out what the fuck it means. Because, like, it’s a weird fucking phrase, let’s be real. Actually, let’s all take a moment to imagine what that might physically look like. We deserve it.Anyway, back on topic. Most scholars have ended up interpreting it as saying that Moses has some kind of speech impediment. But that’s really a stretch. I mean, if that’s what was meant, why not say, “a man of broken speech” or something like that? No, I think the meaning of that phrase is a lot simpler.Circumcision is the sign of the Jewish covenant with G-d. In this period of the Bible, after G-d and Abraham made the covenant but before the Law was given at Mt. Sinai, circumcision was the single, defining thing that set the Jewish people apart from everyone else. So what does it mean to have uncircumcised lips? I submit that to speak with uncircumcised lips is to speak with a non-Jewish voice.But Moses is Jewish! Why would his voice not be? Because, Moses is unique among the Jewish people. He wasn’t raised as a slave. That’s what the Jewish people are in this period and have been for hundreds of years. They’re slaves. For generations, that slavery has defined and warped their culture. Moses has never been a slave and has never lived among his people who are. He may be Jewish, but his understanding of his people, and therefore his ability to speak for them, is non-existent.So G-d tells Moses to speak to Pharoah on behalf of the Jewish people and Moses says no. How will he speak for his people, advocate for them, demand their freedom, when he can’t speak with their voice? He can’t do it and he tells G-d no. No, I won’t speak for the slaves when I am free. It’s not my place.So what does G-d say? He says Moses is right. He tells Moses to give G-d’s message to Aaron, a man who has been a slave all his life, and let Aaron go to Pharoah and speak for the Jewish people. Because Aaron is of them, understands them, their pain, their oppression, in a way that Moses, a free man, can’t and never will. Aaron speaks with a truly Jewish voice, with circumcised lips, so he must be the one who speaks for the Jewish people.So basically, G-d tells Moses to speak over an oppressed group he isn’t a part of, Moses says “no that’s bad activism”, and G-d says “you’re right oppressed people should speak and direct their own fight against oppression.”In conclusion, sure, the Song of Songs is sexy, but have you ever tried telling G-d that he needs to work harder to prioritize marginalized voices?
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Bad, Fucking, and God: Sexy
 Bible Quotes, Inspired by Some Birds my Friend saw
 Fucking Outside her House,
ao3tagoftheday:

oxymoronicromantic:

ao3tagoftheday:

[Image Description: Tags reading “sexy bible quotes, inspired by some birds my friend saw fucking outside her house”]

The AO3 Tag of the Day is: This is one hell of a non-sequitor 

“On the day when the Lord spoke to Moses in the land of Egypt, 29 the Lord said to Moses, “I am the Lord; tell Pharaoh king of Egypt all that I say to you.” 30 But Moses said to the Lord, “Behold, I am of uncircumcised lips. How will Pharaoh listen to me?”
7 And the Lord said to Moses, “See, I have made you like God to Pharaoh, and your brother Aaron shall be your prophet. 2 You shall speak all that I command you, and your brother Aaron shall tell Pharaoh to let the people of Israel go out of his land.”
…I don’t think it’s telling anyone that they’re doing activism wrong????
Anyways. Song of Songs is sexier.

Ok! First off, thanks for putting the verses in; that makes my life easier! Second, Song of Songs is undoubtedly sexy, but the phrase “uncircumcised lips” is much sexier. Here’s why:“Uncircumcised lips” is a literal translation of the Hebrew, and scholars have spent millennia trying to figure out what the fuck it means. Because, like, it’s a weird fucking phrase, let’s be real. Actually, let’s all take a moment to imagine what that might physically look like. We deserve it.Anyway, back on topic. Most scholars have ended up interpreting it as saying that Moses has some kind of speech impediment. But that’s really a stretch. I mean, if that’s what was meant, why not say, “a man of broken speech” or something like that? No, I think the meaning of that phrase is a lot simpler.Circumcision is the sign of the Jewish covenant with G-d. In this period of the Bible, after G-d and Abraham made the covenant but before the Law was given at Mt. Sinai, circumcision was the single, defining thing that set the Jewish people apart from everyone else. So what does it mean to have uncircumcised lips? I submit that to speak with uncircumcised lips is to speak with a non-Jewish voice.But Moses is Jewish! Why would his voice not be? Because, Moses is unique among the Jewish people. He wasn’t raised as a slave. That’s what the Jewish people are in this period and have been for hundreds of years. They’re slaves. For generations, that slavery has defined and warped their culture. Moses has never been a slave and has never lived among his people who are. He may be Jewish, but his understanding of his people, and therefore his ability to speak for them, is non-existent.So G-d tells Moses to speak to Pharoah on behalf of the Jewish people and Moses says no. How will he speak for his people, advocate for them, demand their freedom, when he can’t speak with their voice? He can’t do it and he tells G-d no. No, I won’t speak for the slaves when I am free. It’s not my place.So what does G-d say? He says Moses is right. He tells Moses to give G-d’s message to Aaron, a man who has been a slave all his life, and let Aaron go to Pharoah and speak for the Jewish people. Because Aaron is of them, understands them, their pain, their oppression, in a way that Moses, a free man, can’t and never will. Aaron speaks with a truly Jewish voice, with circumcised lips, so he must be the one who speaks for the Jewish people.So basically, G-d tells Moses to speak over an oppressed group he isn’t a part of, Moses says “no that’s bad activism”, and G-d says “you’re right oppressed people should speak and direct their own fight against oppression.”In conclusion, sure, the Song of Songs is sexy, but have you ever tried telling G-d that he needs to work harder to prioritize marginalized voices?
                
            

            
            
ao3tagoftheday:

oxymoronicromantic:

ao3tagoftheday:

[Image Description: Tags reading “sexy bible quotes, inspired by some birds my friend...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                




    Chicago, College, and Dank: Got denied from harvard s
 March 2015
 2.8
 HARVARD COLLEGK Office of Admissions and Financial Aid
 Molly McGaan
 330 W. Webster Ave
 Chicago, Il 60614
 Dear Ms. McGaan:
 Thank you for your interest in Harvard College.
 After careful consideration of your application, I am sorry to inform you that we are
 unable to offer you a place in the class of 2019. This year's application pool was the strongest in
 the College's history, and we are unable to offer admission to every student, regardless of their
 proficiency in "dank memes", or their level of "Swagg moneyyyy." Although your GPA and
 ACT scores were certainly up to our standards, your essays raised some eyebrows at the
 admissions meetings. For future reference, it is not wise to start an essay with the words, "listen
 here u little slanks" and end with "McGaan out "drops mic We also didn't need a copy of
 your mixtape, regardless of how ire" it is (one admissions counselor actually listened to it, and
 we are pretty sure 40 minutes of you making animal noises is not fire"). In addition, we will be
 returning your copy of Grownups 2 signed by Chancellor Angela Merkel, because you said it's
 your "greatest possession" and we don't want it. We also suggest obtaining recommendation
 letters from teachers or trusted mentors, not "my #4 side ho Derek" or Chief Kee, who
 submitted a picture of a dinosaur drawn in crayon on a rolling paper.
 We greatly appreciate your interest in Harvard, and we offer our best wishes of success
 as you pursue your educational goals
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Chicago, College, and Dank: Got denied from harvard s
 March 2015
 2.8
 HARVARD COLLEGK Office of Admissions and Financial Aid
 Molly McGaan
 330 W. Webster Ave
 Chicago, Il 60614
 Dear Ms. McGaan:
 Thank you for your interest in Harvard College.
 After careful consideration of your application, I am sorry to inform you that we are
 unable to offer you a place in the class of 2019. This year's application pool was the strongest in
 the College's history, and we are unable to offer admission to every student, regardless of their
 proficiency in "dank memes", or their level of "Swagg moneyyyy." Although your GPA and
 ACT scores were certainly up to our standards, your essays raised some eyebrows at the
 admissions meetings. For future reference, it is not wise to start an essay with the words, "listen
 here u little slanks" and end with "McGaan out "drops mic We also didn't need a copy of
 your mixtape, regardless of how ire" it is (one admissions counselor actually listened to it, and
 we are pretty sure 40 minutes of you making animal noises is not fire"). In addition, we will be
 returning your copy of Grownups 2 signed by Chancellor Angela Merkel, because you said it's
 your "greatest possession" and we don't want it. We also suggest obtaining recommendation
 letters from teachers or trusted mentors, not "my #4 side ho Derek" or Chief Kee, who
 submitted a picture of a dinosaur drawn in crayon on a rolling paper.
 We greatly appreciate your interest in Harvard, and we offer our best wishes of success
 as you pursue your educational goals