Messed
Messed

Messed

I Should Go
I Should Go

I Should Go

Badasses
Badasses

Badasses

miles away
 miles away

miles away

nikes
 nikes

nikes

around
 around

around

interest
interest

interest

just in case
just in case

just in case

comely
comely

comely

yours
yours

yours

🔥 | Latest

messing around: Congress is not messing around this days.
 messing around: Congress is not messing around this days.

Congress is not messing around this days.

messing around: Congress is not messing around this days. by Gnarly_Sarley MORE MEMES
 messing around: Congress is not messing around this days. by Gnarly_Sarley
MORE MEMES

Congress is not messing around this days. by Gnarly_Sarley MORE MEMES

messing around: Knuckles isn’t messing around either
 messing around: Knuckles isn’t messing around either

Knuckles isn’t messing around either

messing around: Sonic’s not messing around anymore
 messing around: Sonic’s not messing around anymore

Sonic’s not messing around anymore

messing around: Roberk Vanse Mark Humph oma Progra Robert We Michae Marjut Mier Mark e with Diploma Program secretlycrazyhummingbird: glumshoe: dentedproduct: frivolousphantasies: magical-game: mementoviviere: coffeehedonist: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: rebecca-lotto-mage-of-breath: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: So I found this caterpillar on my way to class We’re bros I named him chicken nugget Aaaa he’s turning a duller color… I hope he’s alright So apparently chicken nugget is a spicebush swallowtail and they turn yellow before they pupate. He was making little silk things everywhere Bruh this caterpie is going to evolve to metapod today my boy isn’t messing around update hes entirely yellow now i made him a tube room hes crawlin all over the place checking it out its happening False alarm he moved a bitThis guy ??? caterpie doesnt evolve into kakuna whats he doing its happening part 2 For Real This Time chicken nugget using those advanced tactics balancing my man doesnt do anything halfway i put on some tunez for him so he can get into the metamorphazone sorry for keeping you all in suspense but chicken nugget is doing fine and he has a cool hat now hes been chillin like this for a couple days  hes been in cocoon for 10 days now🎉🐛🎉 let me know how he’s doing soon HES BUSTIN OUT im going to sleep, chicken nugget is snoozin and ill check up on him as soon as i wake up hope he doesnt party too hard  🐛 💤 💤 hes gone goth hes in his emoteen stage CHICKEN NUGGET IS A CHICKEN WING NOW BABY WE HAVE LIFTOFF!!!!! hes’s in a bigger container than the one in the pic now but im gonna let my home boy find his way in the world after he gets used to his wings a little bit this kid doesnt have a bad angle dang https://youtu.be/TwpFUQzvRp0 there he goes he’s free and im so proud and a little sad this was an incredible experience (thats my family oohing and ahhing in the background) I’ve seen yall reblog the unfinished ones SO MUCH that I’m getting pissed, anyway here’s the full chicken nugget saga. Awesome! Hope you’re happy somewhere, Chicken Nugget! I have missed this post so much! Let’s all celebrate Chicken Nugget! do you guys realize that,,,, chicken nugget is one of those butterflies that is perfectly half female and half male?? nugget’s left wing is typical of a female spice bush swallowtail and the right wing is typical of a male a gender role smashing icon This was sweet… until someone made this about goddamn gender roles. It’s not about ‘gender roles’! Bilateral gynandromorphism is a really interesting, uncommon genetic phenomenon seen in a number of animals that have ZW sex chromosomes. They work quite differently from human’s X and Y chromosomes. In some circumstances, it’s possible for an individual to develop with two entirely different sets of genes–in this case, divided in a perfect split down the body. It’s not very well understood, and some scientists consider it a form of chimerism… but it’s really cool and worth talking about! OP had a genetically interesting surprise.  Oh make no mistake a ‘biologicist’ transphobe got pissed this thread is even better. Also chicken nugget is beautiful!
 messing around: Roberk Vanse
 Mark Humph
 oma Progra

 Robert We
 Michae
 Marjut Mier
 Mark
 e with
 Diploma Program
secretlycrazyhummingbird:

glumshoe:

dentedproduct:

frivolousphantasies:

magical-game:

mementoviviere:

coffeehedonist:


oddity-txt:


oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

rebecca-lotto-mage-of-breath:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

So I found this caterpillar on my way to class 

We’re bros

I named him chicken nugget

Aaaa he’s turning a duller color… I hope he’s alright

So apparently chicken nugget is a spicebush swallowtail and they turn yellow before they pupate.
He was making little silk things everywhere 
Bruh this caterpie is going to evolve to metapod today my boy isn’t messing around


update hes entirely yellow now


i made him a tube room
hes crawlin all over the place checking it out


its happening

False alarm he moved a bitThis guy


??? caterpie doesnt evolve into kakuna


whats he doing


its happening part 2 For Real This Time


chicken nugget using those advanced tactics balancing my man doesnt do anything halfway


i put on some tunez for him so he can get into the metamorphazone

sorry for keeping you all in suspense but chicken nugget is doing fine and he has a cool hat now
hes been chillin like this for a couple days 

hes been in cocoon for 10 days now🎉🐛🎉

let me know how he’s doing soon


HES BUSTIN OUT


im going to sleep, chicken nugget is snoozin and ill check up on him as soon as i wake up
hope he doesnt party too hard 


🐛


💤 

💤 







hes gone goth hes in his emoteen stage


CHICKEN NUGGET IS A CHICKEN WING NOW BABY WE HAVE LIFTOFF!!!!!


hes’s in a bigger container than the one in the pic now but im gonna let my home boy find his way in the world after he gets used to his wings a little bit


this kid doesnt have a bad angle dang


https://youtu.be/TwpFUQzvRp0
there he goes he’s free and im so proud and a little sad
this was an incredible experience
(thats my family oohing and ahhing in the background)


I’ve seen yall reblog the unfinished ones SO MUCH that I’m getting pissed, anyway here’s the full chicken nugget saga.


Awesome! Hope you’re happy somewhere, Chicken Nugget!

I have missed this post so much! Let’s all celebrate Chicken Nugget!


do you guys realize that,,,, chicken nugget is one of those butterflies that is perfectly half female and half male?? nugget’s left wing is typical of a female spice bush swallowtail and the right wing is typical of a male
a gender role smashing icon

This was sweet… until someone made this about goddamn gender roles.

It’s not about ‘gender roles’! Bilateral gynandromorphism is a really interesting, uncommon genetic phenomenon seen in a number of animals that have ZW sex chromosomes. They work quite differently from human’s X and Y chromosomes. In some circumstances, it’s possible for an individual to develop with two entirely different sets of genes–in this case, divided in a perfect split down the body. It’s not very well understood, and some scientists consider it a form of chimerism… but it’s really cool and worth talking about! OP had a genetically interesting surprise. 


Oh make no mistake a ‘biologicist’ transphobe got pissed this thread is even better.
Also chicken nugget is beautiful!

secretlycrazyhummingbird: glumshoe: dentedproduct: frivolousphantasies: magical-game: mementoviviere: coffeehedonist: oddity-txt:...

messing around: maariamph:Amy has a special place in my heart… I was messing around trying to design an outfit for later use but I like how these doodles turned out
 messing around: maariamph:Amy has a special place in my heart… I was messing around trying to design an outfit for later use but I like how these doodles turned out

maariamph:Amy has a special place in my heart… I was messing around trying to design an outfit for later use but I like how these doodles...

messing around: Roberk Vanse Mark Humph oma Progra Robert We Michae Marjut Mier Mark e with Diploma Program magical-game: mementoviviere: coffeehedonist: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: rebecca-lotto-mage-of-breath: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: So I found this caterpillar on my way to class We’re bros I named him chicken nugget Aaaa he’s turning a duller color… I hope he’s alright So apparently chicken nugget is a spicebush swallowtail and they turn yellow before they pupate. He was making little silk things everywhere Bruh this caterpie is going to evolve to metapod today my boy isn’t messing around update hes entirely yellow now i made him a tube room hes crawlin all over the place checking it out its happening False alarm he moved a bitThis guy ??? caterpie doesnt evolve into kakuna whats he doing its happening part 2 For Real This Time chicken nugget using those advanced tactics balancing my man doesnt do anything halfway i put on some tunez for him so he can get into the metamorphazone sorry for keeping you all in suspense but chicken nugget is doing fine and he has a cool hat now hes been chillin like this for a couple days  hes been in cocoon for 10 days now🎉🐛🎉 let me know how he’s doing soon HES BUSTIN OUT im going to sleep, chicken nugget is snoozin and ill check up on him as soon as i wake up hope he doesnt party too hard  🐛 💤 💤 hes gone goth hes in his emoteen stage CHICKEN NUGGET IS A CHICKEN WING NOW BABY WE HAVE LIFTOFF!!!!! hes’s in a bigger container than the one in the pic now but im gonna let my home boy find his way in the world after he gets used to his wings a little bit this kid doesnt have a bad angle dang https://youtu.be/TwpFUQzvRp0 there he goes he’s free and im so proud and a little sad this was an incredible experience (thats my family oohing and ahhing in the background) I’ve seen yall reblog the unfinished ones SO MUCH that I’m getting pissed, anyway here’s the full chicken nugget saga. Awesome! Hope you’re happy somewhere, Chicken Nugget! I have missed this post so much! Let’s all celebrate Chicken Nugget!
 messing around: Roberk Vanse
 Mark Humph
 oma Progra

 Robert We
 Michae
 Marjut Mier
 Mark
 e with
 Diploma Program
magical-game:
mementoviviere:

coffeehedonist:


oddity-txt:


oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

rebecca-lotto-mage-of-breath:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

So I found this caterpillar on my way to class 

We’re bros

I named him chicken nugget

Aaaa he’s turning a duller color… I hope he’s alright

So apparently chicken nugget is a spicebush swallowtail and they turn yellow before they pupate.
He was making little silk things everywhere 
Bruh this caterpie is going to evolve to metapod today my boy isn’t messing around


update hes entirely yellow now


i made him a tube room
hes crawlin all over the place checking it out


its happening

False alarm he moved a bitThis guy


??? caterpie doesnt evolve into kakuna


whats he doing


its happening part 2 For Real This Time


chicken nugget using those advanced tactics balancing my man doesnt do anything halfway


i put on some tunez for him so he can get into the metamorphazone

sorry for keeping you all in suspense but chicken nugget is doing fine and he has a cool hat now
hes been chillin like this for a couple days 

hes been in cocoon for 10 days now🎉🐛🎉

let me know how he’s doing soon


HES BUSTIN OUT


im going to sleep, chicken nugget is snoozin and ill check up on him as soon as i wake up
hope he doesnt party too hard 


🐛


💤 

💤 







hes gone goth hes in his emoteen stage


CHICKEN NUGGET IS A CHICKEN WING NOW BABY WE HAVE LIFTOFF!!!!!


hes’s in a bigger container than the one in the pic now but im gonna let my home boy find his way in the world after he gets used to his wings a little bit


this kid doesnt have a bad angle dang


https://youtu.be/TwpFUQzvRp0
there he goes he’s free and im so proud and a little sad
this was an incredible experience
(thats my family oohing and ahhing in the background)


I’ve seen yall reblog the unfinished ones SO MUCH that I’m getting pissed, anyway here’s the full chicken nugget saga.


Awesome! Hope you’re happy somewhere, Chicken Nugget!

I have missed this post so much! Let’s all celebrate Chicken Nugget!

magical-game: mementoviviere: coffeehedonist: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-tx...

messing around: You are NOT to have a single girls phone number e You are NOT to follow them on any social media (including Instagram Snapchat . and Twitter) E You are NOT to hang out with Keegan (including his house or anywhere in public) . You are NOT to go to Honda without me vvoom room You are NOT to hang out with your friends more than two times a week . You're NOT to look at a single girl e if girls come up to you at any place or anytime you are to WALK away e Mo is to NOT hang out us every time we hang out . You are NOT to ask for head Nau augn . You are NOT to get mad at me about a single thing ever again . You're NOT to bring up Tyler, Noah,Deven,or Josh ever again Nwe . You are NOT allowed to drink unless I am with you 21? . I am allowed to do a phone check when EVER I please x-xxxx e if we move in there are to . If we move in together your friends wil RARLEY be allowed over e If I catch you around giris 1 kill you e You are NOT to ditch me for your friends · Austin does NOT CONTROL WHEN I HANG OUT WITH YOU! navy、 . We are to go on a legit date once every two weeks at least Noyy . If I say jump you say "how high princess xoxo NEVER ever be girls at our house NoNO You are to make sure you tell me you love me once a day at least so i know your not messing around You are to NEVER take longer than 10 mins to text me back * bai-xue-lives: allthingshyper: wenamedthedogkylo: trenchmints: Filed under: yikes, get a new girlfriend, doubleyikes A classic example of what abusive behavior in women can look like. This isn’t cute or sweet or just for anyone’s own good, this is controlling. Young gents (and wlw and nb folks interested in ladies), if your girlfriend or prospective girlfriend presents you a list like this (especially in writing), you crumple that shit up, drop it at her feet, remind her that you are not property, and walk away. This shit isn’t funny or cute when a man does it to a woman; do not tolerate it just because it’s coming from a woman. Holy fucking shit this bitch is out of her mind obsessive already What do you wanna bet that she hates Keegan, Tyler, Noah, Deven, Josh, and Austin because they saw through her bullshit and tried to warn their bro
 messing around: You are NOT to have a single girls phone number
 e
 You are NOT to follow them on any social media (including Instagram Snapchat
 .
 and Twitter) E
 You are NOT to hang out with Keegan (including his house or anywhere in public)
 . You are NOT to go to Honda without me vvoom room
 You are NOT to hang out with your friends more than two times a week
 . You're NOT to look at a single girl
 e if girls come up to you at any place or anytime you are to WALK away
 e Mo is to NOT hang out us every time we hang out
 . You are NOT to ask for head Nau augn
 . You are NOT to get mad at me about a single thing ever again
 . You're NOT to bring up Tyler, Noah,Deven,or Josh ever again Nwe
 . You are NOT allowed to drink unless I am with you 21?
 . I am allowed to do a phone check when EVER I please x-xxxx
 e if we move in there are to
 . If we move in together your friends wil RARLEY be allowed over
 e If I catch you around giris 1 kill you
 e You are NOT to ditch me for your friends
 · Austin does NOT CONTROL WHEN I HANG OUT WITH YOU! navy、
 . We are to go on a legit date once every two weeks at least Noyy
 . If I say jump you say "how high princess xoxo
 NEVER ever be girls at our house NoNO
 You are to make sure you tell me you love me once a day at least so i know your
 not messing around
 You are to NEVER take longer than 10 mins to text me back
 *
bai-xue-lives:

allthingshyper:
wenamedthedogkylo:

trenchmints:

Filed under: yikes, get a new girlfriend, doubleyikes

A classic example of what abusive behavior in women can look like. This isn’t cute or sweet or just for anyone’s own good, this is controlling.
Young gents (and wlw and nb folks interested in ladies), if your girlfriend or prospective girlfriend presents you a list like this (especially in writing), you crumple that shit up, drop it at her feet, remind her that you are not property, and walk away.
This shit isn’t funny or cute when a man does it to a woman; do not tolerate it just because it’s coming from a woman.


Holy fucking shit this bitch is out of her mind obsessive already

What do you wanna bet that she hates Keegan, Tyler, Noah, Deven, Josh, and Austin because they saw through her bullshit and tried to warn their bro

bai-xue-lives: allthingshyper: wenamedthedogkylo: trenchmints: Filed under: yikes, get a new girlfriend, doubleyikes A classic exampl...

messing around: My cat likes messing around on this box...
 messing around: My cat likes messing around on this box...

My cat likes messing around on this box...

messing around: RULES You are NOT to have a single girls phone number You are NOT to follow them on any social media (including Instagram Snapchat and Twitter) Epai You are NOr to hang out with Keegan (ncluding his house or anywhere in public) You are NOT to go to Honda without me vwoam wroom You are NOT to hang out with your friends more than two times a week You're NOT to look at a single girl If gitls come up to you at amy place or anytime you are toWALK away Mo is to NOT hang out us every time we hang out You are NOT to ask for head ou Saugmt You are NOT to get mad at me about a single thing ever again You're NOT to bring up TylerNoah,Deven,or Josh gver egain Ewwe * . . You are NOT allowed to drink unless I am with you 21 l am allowed to do a phone check when EVER' please sx)xxx-xx ● If we move in there are to verbe girls at our house ,uc ho、 e It we move in together your friends w RARLEY be allowed over If I catch you around giris kill you e You are NoT to ditch me for your friends · Austin does NOT CONTROL WHEN I HANG OUT WITH YOU! revo ! We are to go on a legit date once every two weeks at least Yosp IfI say jump you say "how high princess-xoxo . You are to make sure you tell me you love me oncea day at least so l know your not messing around You are to NEVER take longer than 10 mins to text me back trenchmints Filed under yikes, get a new girlfriend, doubleyikes wenamedthedogkylo A classic example of what abusive behavior in women can look like. This isn't cute or sweet or just for anyone's own good, this is controlling Young gents (and wiw and nb folks interested in ladies), if your girltfriend or prospective girlfriend presents you a list like this (especially in writing), you crumple that shit up, drop it at her feet, remind her that you are not property, and walk away. This shit isn't funny or cute when a man does it to a woman; do not tolerate it just because it's coming from a woman. leeferal I've commented on this post before but I'lI keep saying it Do not throw something like this out Keep it. Hide it somewhere safe that you'll find it again - like where you keep your tax receipts, for example. Keep it in a plastic bag and touch the actual paper as little as possible to preserve fingerprints. Maybe write the date they gave it to you on the bag itself Should the person who gave you this try anything to harm you after giving you something like this - this piece of paper is evidence of their harmful intentions. If it comes to the bringing any kind of authority into your situation without this piece of paper it could just turn into a huge 'he said/she said situation and that's not a situation you want yourself to be in. Especially if the other person is a good enough actor. #abuse #reblogging again for added commentary 169,225 notes Surprisingly solid advice for men
 messing around: RULES
 You are NOT to have a single girls phone number
 You are NOT to follow them on any social media (including Instagram Snapchat
 and Twitter) Epai
 You are NOr to hang out with Keegan (ncluding his house or anywhere in public)
 You are NOT to go to Honda without me vwoam wroom
 You are NOT to hang out with your friends more than two times a week
 You're NOT to look at a single girl
 If gitls come up to you at amy place or anytime you are toWALK away
 Mo is to NOT hang out us every time we hang out
 You are NOT to ask for head ou Saugmt
 You are NOT to get mad at me about a single thing ever again
 You're NOT to bring up TylerNoah,Deven,or Josh gver egain Ewwe
 *
 .
 . You are NOT allowed to drink unless I am with you 21
 l am allowed to do a phone check when EVER' please
 sx)xxx-xx
 ●
 If we move in there are to verbe girls at our house ,uc ho、
 e It we move in together your friends w RARLEY be allowed over
 If I catch you around giris kill you
 e You are NoT to ditch me for your friends
 · Austin does NOT CONTROL WHEN I HANG OUT WITH YOU! revo !
 We are to go on a legit date once every two weeks at least Yosp
 IfI say jump you say "how high
 princess-xoxo
 . You are
 to make sure you tell me you love me
 oncea day at least so l know your
 not messing around
 You are to NEVER take longer than 10 mins to text me back
 trenchmints
 Filed under yikes, get a new girlfriend, doubleyikes
 wenamedthedogkylo
 A classic example of what abusive behavior in women can look like. This isn't
 cute or sweet or just for anyone's own good, this is controlling
 Young gents (and wiw and nb folks interested in ladies), if your girltfriend or
 prospective girlfriend presents you a list like this (especially in writing), you
 crumple that shit up, drop it at her feet, remind her that you are not property, and
 walk away.
 This shit isn't funny or cute when a man does it to a woman; do not tolerate it
 just because it's coming from a woman.
 leeferal
 I've commented on this post before but I'lI keep saying it
 Do not throw something like this out
 Keep it. Hide it somewhere safe that you'll find it again - like where you keep
 your tax receipts, for example. Keep it in a plastic bag and touch the actual
 paper as little as possible to preserve fingerprints. Maybe write the date they
 gave it to you on the bag itself
 Should the person who gave you this try anything to harm you after giving you
 something like this - this piece of paper is evidence of their harmful
 intentions. If it comes to the bringing any kind of authority into your situation
 without this piece of paper it could just turn into a huge 'he said/she said
 situation and that's not a situation you want yourself to be in. Especially if the
 other person is a good enough actor.
 #abuse #reblogging again for added commentary
 169,225 notes
Surprisingly solid advice for men

Surprisingly solid advice for men

messing around: RULES * You are NOT to have a single girls phone number You are NOT to follow them on any social media (including Instagram Snapchat and Twitter) Epai You are NOr to hang out with Keegan (ncluding his house or anywhere in public) You are NOT to go to Honda without me vwoam wroom You are NOT to hang out with your friends more than two times a week You're NOT to look at a single girl If gitls come up to you at amy place or anytime you are toWALK away Mo is to NOT hang out us every time we hang out You are NOT to ask for head ou Saugmt You are NOT to get mad at me about a single thing ever again You're NOT to bring up TylerNoah,Deven,or Josh gver egain Ewwe . . You are NOT allowed to drink unless I am with you 21 l am allowed to do a phone check when EVER' please sx)xxx-xx ● If we move in there are to verbe girls at our house ,uc ho、 e It we move in together your friends w RARLEY be allowed over If I catch you around giris kill you e You are NoT to ditch me for your friends · Austin does NOT CONTROL WHEN I HANG OUT WITH YOU! revo ! We are to go on a legit date once every two weeks at least Yosp IfI say jump you say "how high princess-xoxo . You are to make sure you tell me you love me oncea day at least so l know your not messing around You are to NEVER take longer than 10 mins to text me back trenchmints Filed under yikes, get a new girlfriend, doubleyikes wenamedthedogkylo A classic example of what abusive behavior in women can look like. This isn't cute or sweet or just for anyone's own good, this is controlling Young gents (and wiw and nb folks interested in ladies), if your girltfriend or prospective girlfriend presents you a list like this (especially in writing), you crumple that shit up, drop it at her feet, remind her that you are not property, and walk away. This shit isn't funny or cute when a man does it to a woman; do not tolerate it just because it's coming from a woman. leeferal I've commented on this post before but I'lI keep saying it Do not throw something like this out Keep it. Hide it somewhere safe that you'll find it again - like where you keep your tax receipts, for example. Keep it in a plastic bag and touch the actual paper as little as possible to preserve fingerprints. Maybe write the date they gave it to you on the bag itself Should the person who gave you this try anything to harm you after giving you something like this - this piece of paper is evidence of their harmful intentions. If it comes to the bringing any kind of authority into your situation without this piece of paper it could just turn into a huge 'he said/she said situation and that's not a situation you want yourself to be in. Especially if the other person is a good enough actor. #abuse #reblogging again for added commentary 169,225 notes Love is never an excuse to control someone [TW: abuse]
 messing around: RULES
 * You are NOT to have a single girls phone number
 You are NOT to follow them on any social media (including Instagram Snapchat
 and Twitter) Epai
 You are NOr to hang out with Keegan (ncluding his house or anywhere in public)
 You are NOT to go to Honda without me vwoam wroom
 You are NOT to hang out with your friends more than two times a week
 You're NOT to look at a single girl
 If gitls come up to you at amy place or anytime you are toWALK away
 Mo is to NOT hang out us every time we hang out
 You are NOT to ask for head ou Saugmt
 You are NOT to get mad at me about a single thing ever again
 You're NOT to bring up TylerNoah,Deven,or Josh gver egain Ewwe
 .
 . You are NOT allowed to drink unless I am with you 21
 l am allowed to do a phone check when EVER' please
 sx)xxx-xx
 ●
 If we move in there are to verbe girls at our house ,uc ho、
 e It we move in together your friends w RARLEY be allowed over
 If I catch you around giris kill you
 e You are NoT to ditch me for your friends
 · Austin does NOT CONTROL WHEN I HANG OUT WITH YOU! revo !
 We are to go on a legit date once every two weeks at least Yosp
 IfI say jump you say "how high
 princess-xoxo
 . You are
 to make sure you tell me you love me
 oncea day at least so l know your
 not messing around
 You are to NEVER take longer than 10 mins to text me back
 trenchmints
 Filed under yikes, get a new girlfriend, doubleyikes
 wenamedthedogkylo
 A classic example of what abusive behavior in women can look like. This isn't
 cute or sweet or just for anyone's own good, this is controlling
 Young gents (and wiw and nb folks interested in ladies), if your girltfriend or
 prospective girlfriend presents you a list like this (especially in writing), you
 crumple that shit up, drop it at her feet, remind her that you are not property, and
 walk away.
 This shit isn't funny or cute when a man does it to a woman; do not tolerate it
 just because it's coming from a woman.
 leeferal
 I've commented on this post before but I'lI keep saying it
 Do not throw something like this out
 Keep it. Hide it somewhere safe that you'll find it again - like where you keep
 your tax receipts, for example. Keep it in a plastic bag and touch the actual
 paper as little as possible to preserve fingerprints. Maybe write the date they
 gave it to you on the bag itself
 Should the person who gave you this try anything to harm you after giving you
 something like this - this piece of paper is evidence of their harmful
 intentions. If it comes to the bringing any kind of authority into your situation
 without this piece of paper it could just turn into a huge 'he said/she said
 situation and that's not a situation you want yourself to be in. Especially if the
 other person is a good enough actor.
 #abuse #reblogging again for added commentary
 169,225 notes
Love is never an excuse to control someone [TW: abuse]

Love is never an excuse to control someone [TW: abuse]

messing around: Roberk Vanse Mark Humph oma Progra Robert We Michae Marjut Mier Mark e with Diploma Program 505morgan: welcometothemusicandthemisery: turtlederpling: confessions-of-a-cellist: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: rebecca-lotto-mage-of-breath: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: So I found this caterpillar on my way to class We’re bros I named him chicken nugget Aaaa he’s turning a duller color… I hope he’s alright So apparently chicken nugget is a spicebush swallowtail and they turn yellow before they pupate. He was making little silk things everywhere Bruh this caterpie is going to evolve to metapod today my boy isn’t messing around update hes entirely yellow now i made him a tube room hes crawlin all over the place checking it out its happening False alarm he moved a bitThis guy ??? caterpie doesnt evolve into kakuna whats he doing its happening part 2 For Real This Time chicken nugget using those advanced tactics balancing my man doesnt do anything halfway i put on some tunez for him so he can get into the metamorphazone sorry for keeping you all in suspense but chicken nugget is doing fine and he has a cool hat now hes been chillin like this for a couple days  hes been in cocoon for 10 days now🎉🐛🎉 let me know how he’s doing soon HES BUSTIN OUT im going to sleep, chicken nugget is snoozin and ill check up on him as soon as i wake up hope he doesnt party too hard  🐛 💤 💤 hes gone goth hes in his emoteen stage CHICKEN NUGGET IS A CHICKEN WING NOW BABY WE HAVE LIFTOFF!!!!! hes’s in a bigger container than the one in the pic now but im gonna let my home boy find his way in the world after he gets used to his wings a little bit this kid doesnt have a bad angle dang https://youtu.be/TwpFUQzvRp0 there he goes he’s free and im so proud and a little sad this was an incredible experience (thats my family oohing and ahhing in the background) I’m so happy I found the rest of this.  That- was amazing- 💚💛🖤 @orangejuicepanro
 messing around: Roberk Vanse
 Mark Humph
 oma Progra

 Robert We
 Michae
 Marjut Mier
 Mark
 e with
 Diploma Program
505morgan:

welcometothemusicandthemisery:

turtlederpling:

confessions-of-a-cellist:

oddity-txt:

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rebecca-lotto-mage-of-breath:

oddity-txt:

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So I found this caterpillar on my way to class 

We’re bros

I named him chicken nugget

Aaaa he’s turning a duller color… I hope he’s alright

So apparently chicken nugget is a spicebush swallowtail and they turn yellow before they pupate.
He was making little silk things everywhere 
Bruh this caterpie is going to evolve to metapod today my boy isn’t messing around


update hes entirely yellow now


i made him a tube room
hes crawlin all over the place checking it out


its happening

False alarm he moved a bitThis guy


??? caterpie doesnt evolve into kakuna


whats he doing


its happening part 2 For Real This Time


chicken nugget using those advanced tactics balancing my man doesnt do anything halfway


i put on some tunez for him so he can get into the metamorphazone

sorry for keeping you all in suspense but chicken nugget is doing fine and he has a cool hat now
hes been chillin like this for a couple days 

hes been in cocoon for 10 days now🎉🐛🎉

let me know how he’s doing soon


HES BUSTIN OUT


im going to sleep, chicken nugget is snoozin and ill check up on him as soon as i wake up
hope he doesnt party too hard 


🐛


💤 

💤 







hes gone goth hes in his emoteen stage


CHICKEN NUGGET IS A CHICKEN WING NOW BABY WE HAVE LIFTOFF!!!!!


hes’s in a bigger container than the one in the pic now but im gonna let my home boy find his way in the world after he gets used to his wings a little bit


this kid doesnt have a bad angle dang

https://youtu.be/TwpFUQzvRp0
there he goes he’s free and im so proud and a little sad
this was an incredible experience
(thats my family oohing and ahhing in the background)

I’m so happy I found the rest of this. 


That- was amazing-


💚💛🖤

@orangejuicepanro

505morgan: welcometothemusicandthemisery: turtlederpling: confessions-of-a-cellist: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt...

messing around: When youre messing around with sorting visualization and accidentally make a cool effect
 messing around: When youre messing around with sorting visualization and accidentally make a cool effect

When youre messing around with sorting visualization and accidentally make a cool effect

messing around: deadcatwithaflamethrower: hebic: kyraneko: balencia: kitrazzle: pissedoffweasley: wizardingheadcanon: kyraneko: elidyce: thatgirlonstage: fuckyeahdeathlyhallows: sirlestrange: #that is a human as a rat as a cup That was a long 12 years for Wormtail. Can you imagine how differently their lives would’ve gone if Ron, in trying to transfigure Scabbers, had actually transfigured him back into a human?Just take a moment to imagine McGonagall’s reaction if Peter Pettigrew had abruptly appeared in her classroom from Ronald Weasley’s rat.Take a moment. Or if Ron had fucked it up a little worse and couldn’t get ‘Scabbers’ back and McGonagall had take him to disenchant him and next thing we know there’s a naked Peter Pettigrew sitting on McGonagall’s desk and the kids in that class learn six new swear words, a hex they will never dare to use, and a fear of Minerva McGonagall’s wrath that will be with them until the day they die. Ten and twenty years later first years are being pulled aside and warned never mess around in Transfiguration seriously the last time a kid mucked something up in that class Professor McGonagall used two semi-legal hexes, took down a Death Eater and sabotaged the rise of the Dark Lord before Potter had time to get his wand out. What most of Hogwarts learned first on that otherwise-unexceptionable day was that Professor McGonagall could sure scream loud. Professor Flitwick’s Charms 5th-year Charms class was close enough to catch the full effect, and the door had been left open besides; en masse the students recoiled with shock and a miscast Hiccuping Charm broke one of the windows (out which the entire flock of ravens they were practicing on escaped to the Forbidden Forest where they only had to worry about centaurs, rather than annoying young humans with wands). Up in the Divination Tower, Sibyl Trelawny preened over her foresight to have warned her students of an unprecedented catastrophe likely to occur before the hour was out. Out in Greenhouse Five, a NEWT-level Herbology class looked up in puzzlement, and most of them were subsequently bitten by the Venomous Tentaculae they were attempting to propagate. It does not do to ignore a Venomous Tentacula when you’re prodding at its intimate parts with a cotton ball held in tweezers, so the class was cancelled while two-thirds of the students headed for the infirmary and the rest of them headed into the castle because if they stayed with the Venomous Tentaculae they’d be outnumbered, and nobody wants that. And down in the dungeons, Professor Snape turned away from comparing Lee Jordan’s Pepper-Up Potion to spoiled cream at what sounded like a woman screaming from the entrance hall. At the second scream, he ordered the class to remain where they were and behave, sweeping out of the room just in time to miss Theodore Nott suddenly jumping up and yelping as if someone had put a crocodile heart down the back of his robes. Fred Weasley stepped back from the unfortunate Slytherin, shared a smirk with his twin, and stuck his head out the door to make sure Snape had rounded the corner before leading the way out of the classroom. - Back in the Transfiguration classroom, about four minutes ago, it had started innocently enough. Ron Weasley, possessed of a broken wand and a lurking suspicion that most of the family’s magical talent had been soaked up by his siblings before he was around to get any, had attempted to turn his pet rat, Scabbers, into a teacup. Scabbers had not become a teacup. Scabbers, blast his useless furry little backside, had become a furry, vaguely teacup-shaped monstrosity out of which absolutely no one would have been tempted to drink, and to make matters worse, he still had a tail. It was moving. Harry was hiding a smile behind his hand. Dean and Seamus weren’t even trying to hide, elbowing each other and laughing. Parvati and Lavender were looking with disgust and horror at either Scabbers or him, and Hermione was opening her mouth, no doubt ready to tell him exactly what he’d done wrong. Which only made it worse that he really thought he’d done everything right this time. He snatched Scabbers off the desk (eww, the base of the cup had the same texture as rat feet) and turned away from Hermione. He made the wand movement again, picturing in his mind the way McGonagall had demonstrated it. “Erreverto.” “Erreverto. Erreverto. Erreverto.” It didn’t work. It didn’t work when Professor McGonagall stopped by and gave Hermione two points for Gryffindor for getting the spell perfect in both directions. It didn’t work when Harry made his successful transfiguration (Ron looked; the pattern was a little bit furry but it was definitely a teacup). Ron’s lips formed the shape of a word that would’ve made his mother box his ears had she heard it and attempted the reverse transfiguration, which didn’t work either. Finally, faced not only with the indignity of failure but the threat of Scabbers being stuck like that, he’d gone up to Professor McGonagall’s desk. “Um, Professor?” Professor McGonagall looked up from the paper she was grading and looked from him to the squirming teacup. “Problems, Mr. Weasley?” “Um, yeah, Professor. I can’t get it to work in either direction and it’s not fair to Scabbers to make him stay as a teacup just because I can’t do a spell right and can you maybe … ?” “I suppose so, Mr. Weasley,” she said, and waved her wand in the exact manner Ron had been doing all along. Nothing happened. Professor McGonagall looked very, very puzzled. “Now that’s odd,” she said softly. As one, the other students rose from their seats and quietly moved closer. She did not attempt the transfiguration in the other direction. Instead, she made a complex motion with her wand and murmured an incantation that possibly only Hermione recognized. The teacup squeaked. Professor McGonagall looked more puzzled than ever, and made a sweeping wand movement that ended with a sharp jab and uttered, “Arcanum finite!” And there was a loud bang, and there was a pale, pudgy, and very naked man sprawled out on her desk, and she jumped back hard enough to knock her chair into the wall and screamed. - Having taught a particularly rigorous course of magical study to children and teens for quite some time now, Minerva McGonagall had become accustomed to certain things. Students who didn’t listen. Students who did rude things to the mice when they thought she wasn’t looking. Students who accidentally turned a frog or a raven into a flock of starlings or a school of strange slimy South American fish (and tried to solve the immediate problem by filling the classroom with two feet of water, neglecting to consider the gap under the door). Students who tried to transfigure their noses into a more appealing shape and wound up in the hospital wing regrowing their nostrils. Naked men on her desk was something Minerva McGonagall had never had an occasion to get used to. What made it worse was that she recognized this one, and he’d been dead for more than a decade. Inferius! was her first thought, followed shortly thereafter by Animagus, which collided with Peter Pettigrew! and produced the utterly horrifying thought of what if all four of them were Animagi? which didn’t bear thinking about at all, so her brain jumped to if he wasn’t killed by a Dark Wizard then why didn’t he say so? and realized there was only one possible explanation why, and about that time her eyes registered that parts of Peter Pettigrew she really doesn’t want to know about were flopping about in front of her face, and she was screaming as she jumped back. The flow of invective which followed somehow failed to surprise her one bit. Some part of her registered, peripherally, the shocked faces of her students, but most of her attention was directed at Peter Pettigrew, who at very least faked his own death and at worst framed Sirius Black and if Black didn’t betray the Potters then who … did. And the words poured out of her, filthy English and filthier Latin while Pettigrew squirmed on the table, his face rage and guilt and fear and something shifty and contemptible, and he turned to look at the stunned students and lunged for Ron Weasley’s wand. - Severus Snape had reached the Entrance Hall by the time the scream died away and the invective replaced it. He almost smirked, amid the alarm; of all the things he’d never expected to hear from Minerva McGonagall … he took the stairs two at a time, still not noticing the students who followed. He did notice the Herbology class, which had stopped on the way to the Infirmary and were staring transfixed in the direction of the Transfiguration classroom, but pushed his way through them, getting Venomous Tentacula pollen all over his robes in the process. From the other end of the corridor came Professor Flitwick’s Charms class, with Professor Flitwick bringing up the rear and pushing his way between students. - Ron looked stunned as the man who’d been his pet rat snatched the wand from his hand; Professor McGonagal’s expression shifted to one beyond fury and when the entire class recoiled, it wasn’t from the naked man with the wand. “Laedo!“ Minerva McGonagall roared. - Ron Weasley’s wand cast a Splintering Curse many years beyond its rightful owner’s abilities, and it did Peter Pettigrew the poor favor of eliminating the door, which might have slowed him down a bit. - Severus Snape flailed and skidded to a halt as the Transfiguration classroom’s door shattered. He stepped back just in time, and stared, jaw dropped in shock, as a naked man he recognized from his school days flew past him and bellyflopped against the wall, bounced, and collapsed to the ground just in time to avoid the “Exitium!” which followed and vaporized an impresive chunk of the castle’s stone wall. Fred and George and Lee Jordan, determined to stay at the front of the crowd, had been pushed almost against Professor Snape by their fellow Potions classmates and some pollen-coated Hufflepuffs. Fred squirmed aside hastily as Professor McGonagall appeared in the doorway, the look on her face so utterly livid that Professors Snape and Flitwick both reflexively stepped back. Snape tripped over George’s foot and fell against a knot of Hufflepuffs, releasing another cloud of pollen and knocking them backwards. Pettigrew saw his opportunity and took it, scrambling to his feet, stumbling sideways, and launching himself towards the gap. And Minerva McGonagall made a thrust with her wand and said, “Perdo.” In the very loud silence which followed, Filius Flitwick squeaked, “The Splinching Charm, Minerva?” She might’ve looked embarrassed for a moment, and then she smiled as she looked down at Pettigrew, who lay on his belly, his arms and legs lying akimbo some distance away. “Unorthodox,” she said, “but useful in a pinch. If someone would inform the Headmaster, and send an owl to the Ministry—-not Fudge, not Crouch, someone competent—-Shacklebolt, perhaps. Students, return to your classrooms, please. Mr. Weasley, I’m very sorry, but I do believe it’s impossible to return you your rat. However, the zero I was going to have to give you for the day’s work is entirely undeserved, as you were not transfiguring a normal rat. You may make the lesson up any time this week.” - The story was, of course, much embellished by the time it reached all the students. Versions of it had the intruder peppering Snape with a Glitter Hex or transfiguring Ron’s rat into a pair of boxers, and people had to be disabused of the notion that it had been Voldemort who’d been hiding as a rat all this time. Snape gave both Weasley twins detention for tripping him, and took forty-seven points total from Gryffindor over the next few weeks for various pretend-subtle pollen references. Kingsley Shacklebolt showed up with a team of Aurors in time to meet Professor Dumbledore; the Wizengamot launched an investigation into the events surrounding the Potters’ murder; the results turned into a scandal which saw the release of Sirius Black and the forced resignation of both Director Bartemious Crouch and Minister Cornelius Fudge. Director of Magical Law Enforcement Amelia Bones was confirmed as Minister of Magic shortly thereafte, and the Daily Prophet reported that Sirius Black (“Godfather to the Boy-Who-Lived!” “Framed, Abandoned, Condemned to Living Hell!” “Heart-Wrenching: His Release In Pictures, Page 17!”) was considering applying for a teaching position at Hogwarts, “but just for a year, I’ve been cursed enough for one lifetime.” (“The Prophet reminds its readers that the so-called “curse” on a certain Hogwarts teaching position is almost certainly a mere string of coincidences.”) And, Minerva thought with relish some months later, it was almost three weeks before anyone attempted messing around in her class. A personal record. I’ve probably reblogged this before but I’m going to do it again right now I think this is literally the best au this entire fandom has produced I’ve only seen this legendary bit of writing in memes and screenshots. I feel so blessed to see it in person. Beautiful, simply beautiful! Reblogging my own post because a) it’s my damn horn and I’ll blow it if I want to, and b) I just (finally!) cross-posted this to Archive Of Our Own, so if anybody wants to go read it over there, here it is. @deadcatwithaflamethrower My only complaint is that Theodore Nott and Fred Weasely wouldn’t be in the same Potions class. *is pedantic* *reblogging because now you can bookmark it on AO3*
 messing around: deadcatwithaflamethrower:

hebic:
kyraneko:

balencia:

kitrazzle:

pissedoffweasley:

wizardingheadcanon:

kyraneko:

elidyce:

thatgirlonstage:

fuckyeahdeathlyhallows:

sirlestrange:

#that is a human as a rat as a cup

That was a long 12 years for Wormtail.

Can you imagine how differently their lives would’ve gone if Ron, in trying to transfigure Scabbers, had actually transfigured him back into a human?Just take a moment to imagine McGonagall’s reaction if Peter Pettigrew had abruptly appeared in her classroom from Ronald Weasley’s rat.Take a moment.

Or if Ron had fucked it up a little worse and couldn’t get ‘Scabbers’ back and McGonagall had take him to disenchant him and next thing we know there’s a naked Peter Pettigrew sitting on McGonagall’s desk and the kids in that class learn six new swear words, a hex they will never dare to use, and a fear of Minerva McGonagall’s wrath that will be with them until the day they die.
Ten and twenty years later first years are being pulled aside and warned never mess around in Transfiguration seriously the last time a kid mucked something up in that class Professor McGonagall used two semi-legal hexes, took down a Death Eater and sabotaged the rise of the Dark Lord before Potter had time to get his wand out.

What most of Hogwarts learned first on that otherwise-unexceptionable day was that Professor McGonagall could sure scream loud.
Professor Flitwick’s Charms 5th-year Charms class was close enough to catch the full effect, and the door had been left open besides; en masse the students recoiled with shock and a miscast Hiccuping Charm broke one of the windows (out which the entire flock of ravens they were practicing on escaped to the Forbidden Forest where they only had to worry about centaurs, rather than annoying young humans with wands).
Up in the Divination Tower, Sibyl Trelawny preened over her foresight to have warned her students of an unprecedented catastrophe likely to occur before the hour was out.
Out in Greenhouse Five, a NEWT-level Herbology class looked up in puzzlement, and most of them were subsequently bitten by the Venomous Tentaculae they were attempting to propagate. It does not do to ignore a Venomous Tentacula when you’re prodding at its intimate parts with a cotton ball held in tweezers, so the class was cancelled while two-thirds of the students headed for the infirmary and the rest of them headed into the castle because if they stayed with the Venomous Tentaculae they’d be outnumbered, and nobody wants that.
And down in the dungeons, Professor Snape turned away from comparing Lee Jordan’s Pepper-Up Potion to spoiled cream at what sounded like a woman screaming from the entrance hall. At the second scream, he ordered the class to remain where they were and behave, sweeping out of the room just in time to miss Theodore Nott suddenly jumping up and yelping as if someone had put a crocodile heart down the back of his robes.
Fred Weasley stepped back from the unfortunate Slytherin, shared a smirk with his twin, and stuck his head out the door to make sure Snape had rounded the corner before leading the way out of the classroom.
-
Back in the Transfiguration classroom, about four minutes ago, it had started innocently enough. Ron Weasley, possessed of a broken wand and a lurking suspicion that most of the family’s magical talent had been soaked up by his siblings before he was around to get any, had attempted to turn his pet rat, Scabbers, into a teacup.
Scabbers had not become a teacup.
Scabbers, blast his useless furry little backside, had become a furry, vaguely teacup-shaped monstrosity out of which absolutely no one would have been tempted to drink, and to make matters worse, he still had a tail.
It was moving.
Harry was hiding a smile behind his hand. Dean and Seamus weren’t even trying to hide, elbowing each other and laughing. Parvati and Lavender were looking with disgust and horror at either Scabbers or him, and Hermione was opening her mouth, no doubt ready to tell him exactly what he’d done wrong.
Which only made it worse that he really thought he’d done everything right this time.
He snatched Scabbers off the desk (eww, the base of the cup had the same texture as rat feet) and turned away from Hermione. He made the wand movement again, picturing in his mind the way McGonagall had demonstrated it. “Erreverto.”
“Erreverto. Erreverto. Erreverto.”
It didn’t work. It didn’t work when Professor McGonagall stopped by and gave Hermione two points for Gryffindor for getting the spell perfect in both directions. It didn’t work when Harry made his successful transfiguration (Ron looked; the pattern was a little bit furry but it was definitely a teacup). Ron’s lips formed the shape of a word that would’ve made his mother box his ears had she heard it and attempted the reverse transfiguration, which didn’t work either.
Finally, faced not only with the indignity of failure but the threat of Scabbers being stuck like that, he’d gone up to Professor McGonagall’s desk.
“Um, Professor?”
Professor McGonagall looked up from the paper she was grading and looked from him to the squirming teacup. “Problems, Mr. Weasley?”
“Um, yeah, Professor. I can’t get it to work in either direction and it’s not fair to Scabbers to make him stay as a teacup just because I can’t do a spell right and can you maybe … ?”
“I suppose so, Mr. Weasley,” she said, and waved her wand in the exact manner Ron had been doing all along.
Nothing happened.
Professor McGonagall looked very, very puzzled.
“Now that’s odd,” she said softly.
As one, the other students rose from their seats and quietly moved closer.
She did not attempt the transfiguration in the other direction. Instead, she made a complex motion with her wand and murmured an incantation that possibly only Hermione recognized. The teacup squeaked. Professor McGonagall looked more puzzled than ever, and made a sweeping wand movement that ended with a sharp jab and uttered, “Arcanum finite!”
And there was a loud bang, and there was a pale, pudgy, and very naked man sprawled out on her desk, and she jumped back hard enough to knock her chair into the wall and screamed.
-
Having taught a particularly rigorous course of magical study to children and teens for quite some time now, Minerva McGonagall had become accustomed to certain things. Students who didn’t listen. Students who did rude things to the mice when they thought she wasn’t looking. Students who accidentally turned a frog or a raven into a flock of starlings or a school of strange slimy South American fish (and tried to solve the immediate problem by filling the classroom with two feet of water, neglecting to consider the gap under the door). Students who tried to transfigure their noses into a more appealing shape and wound up in the hospital wing regrowing their nostrils.
Naked men on her desk was something Minerva McGonagall had never had an occasion to get used to. What made it worse was that she recognized this one, and he’d been dead for more than a decade.
Inferius! was her first thought, followed shortly thereafter by Animagus, which collided with Peter Pettigrew! and produced the utterly horrifying thought of what if all four of them were Animagi? which didn’t bear thinking about at all, so her brain jumped to if he wasn’t killed by a Dark Wizard then why didn’t he say so? and realized there was only one possible explanation why, and about that time her eyes registered that parts of Peter Pettigrew she really doesn’t want to know about were flopping about in front of her face, and she was screaming as she jumped back.
The flow of invective which followed somehow failed to surprise her one bit. Some part of her registered, peripherally, the shocked faces of her students, but most of her attention was directed at Peter Pettigrew, who at very least faked his own death and at worst framed Sirius Black and if Black didn’t betray the Potters then who … did. And the words poured out of her, filthy English and filthier Latin while Pettigrew squirmed on the table, his face rage and guilt and fear and something shifty and contemptible, and he turned to look at the stunned students and lunged for Ron Weasley’s wand.
-
Severus Snape had reached the Entrance Hall by the time the scream died away and the invective replaced it. He almost smirked, amid the alarm; of all the things he’d never expected to hear from Minerva McGonagall … he took the stairs two at a time, still not noticing the students who followed.
He did notice the Herbology class, which had stopped on the way to the Infirmary and were staring transfixed in the direction of the Transfiguration classroom, but pushed his way through them, getting Venomous Tentacula pollen all over his robes in the process.
From the other end of the corridor came Professor Flitwick’s Charms class, with Professor Flitwick bringing up the rear and pushing his way between students.
-
Ron looked stunned as the man who’d been his pet rat snatched the wand from his hand; Professor McGonagal’s expression shifted to one beyond fury and when the entire class recoiled, it wasn’t from the naked man with the wand.
“Laedo!“ Minerva McGonagall roared.
-
Ron Weasley’s wand cast a Splintering Curse many years beyond its rightful owner’s abilities, and it did Peter Pettigrew the poor favor of eliminating the door, which might have slowed him down a bit.
-
Severus Snape flailed and skidded to a halt as the Transfiguration classroom’s door shattered. He stepped back just in time, and stared, jaw dropped in shock, as a naked man he recognized from his school days flew past him and bellyflopped against the wall, bounced, and collapsed to the ground just in time to avoid the “Exitium!” which followed and vaporized an impresive chunk of the castle’s stone wall.
Fred and George and Lee Jordan, determined to stay at the front of the crowd, had been pushed almost against Professor Snape by their fellow Potions classmates and some pollen-coated Hufflepuffs. Fred squirmed aside hastily as Professor McGonagall appeared in the doorway, the look on her face so utterly livid that Professors Snape and Flitwick both reflexively stepped back.
Snape tripped over George’s foot and fell against a knot of Hufflepuffs, releasing another cloud of pollen and knocking them backwards. Pettigrew saw his opportunity and took it, scrambling to his feet, stumbling sideways, and launching himself towards the gap.
And Minerva McGonagall made a thrust with her wand and said, “Perdo.”
In the very loud silence which followed, Filius Flitwick squeaked, “The Splinching Charm, Minerva?”
She might’ve looked embarrassed for a moment, and then she smiled as she looked down at Pettigrew, who lay on his belly, his arms and legs lying akimbo some distance away.
“Unorthodox,” she said, “but useful in a pinch. If someone would inform the Headmaster, and send an owl to the Ministry—-not Fudge, not Crouch, someone competent—-Shacklebolt, perhaps. Students, return to your classrooms, please. Mr. Weasley, I’m very sorry, but I do believe it’s impossible to return you your rat. However, the zero I was going to have to give you for the day’s work is entirely undeserved, as you were not transfiguring a normal rat. You may make the lesson up any time this week.”
-
The story was, of course, much embellished by the time it reached all the students. Versions of it had the intruder peppering Snape with a Glitter Hex or transfiguring Ron’s rat into a pair of boxers, and people had to be disabused of the notion that it had been Voldemort who’d been hiding as a rat all this time.
Snape gave both Weasley twins detention for tripping him, and took forty-seven points total from Gryffindor over the next few weeks for various pretend-subtle pollen references.
Kingsley Shacklebolt showed up with a team of Aurors in time to meet Professor Dumbledore; the Wizengamot launched an investigation into the events surrounding the Potters’ murder; the results turned into a scandal which saw the release of Sirius Black and the forced resignation of both Director Bartemious Crouch and Minister Cornelius Fudge. Director of Magical Law Enforcement Amelia Bones was confirmed as Minister of Magic shortly thereafte, and the Daily Prophet reported that Sirius Black (“Godfather to the Boy-Who-Lived!” “Framed, Abandoned, Condemned to Living Hell!” “Heart-Wrenching: His Release In Pictures, Page 17!”) was considering applying for a teaching position at Hogwarts, “but just for a year, I’ve been cursed enough for one lifetime.” (“The Prophet reminds its readers that the so-called “curse” on a certain Hogwarts teaching position is almost certainly a mere string of coincidences.”)
And, Minerva thought with relish some months later, it was almost three weeks before anyone attempted messing around in her class.
A personal record.

I’ve probably reblogged this before but I’m going to do it again right now

I think this is literally the best au this entire fandom has produced

I’ve only seen this legendary bit of writing in memes and screenshots. I feel so blessed to see it in person.

Beautiful, simply beautiful!

Reblogging my own post because a) it’s my damn horn and I’ll blow it if I want to, and b) I just (finally!) cross-posted this to Archive Of Our Own, so if anybody wants to go read it over there, here it is.


@deadcatwithaflamethrower 
My only complaint is that Theodore Nott and Fred Weasely wouldn’t be in the same Potions class. *is pedantic*

*reblogging because now you can bookmark it on AO3*

deadcatwithaflamethrower: hebic: kyraneko: balencia: kitrazzle: pissedoffweasley: wizardingheadcanon: kyraneko: elidyce: thatgirl...

messing around: So when Rowling tweeted this back at him, most people assumed she was messing around Luke @lukekocura.4 Sep 2015 Said the millionaire on her gold iphone in her mansion J.K. Rowling@jk rowling If you can't imagine yourself in one of those boats, you have something missing. They are dying for a life worth living. #refugeeswelcome J.К. Rowling Follow ojk rowling Replying to @lukekocura @Lukekocura I'll have my mansion AND your shack in about 2 years. Ready to get owned? 6:42 PM-4 Sep 2015 40,534 Retweets 59,056 Likes 0.9匍80e0悉@ Before responding, Rowling had researched the man behind the troll, Luke Kocura, and found out he was struggling to make mortgage payments on his modest home in Sheffield, England. Unless he turned things around within two years, he was at risk of foreclosure Rowling then closely monitored his situation, which, sure enough, only got worse. So two years later, she pounced, assuming Kocura's mortgage, repossessing the house from the bank, and now she owns it. To celebrate the long-game owning, she tweeted this at him: J.K. Rowling @jk_rowling Follow @Lukekocura I was unduly harsh before. The place isn't a shack. It's more of a hut. Maybe I'll let vou come back to visit sometime!:) <p><a href="http://celticpyro.tumblr.com/post/175735905124/dasha-loses-it-northern-rebel" class="tumblr_blog">celticpyro</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://dasha-loses-it.tumblr.com/post/175733878663/northern-rebel-dasha-loses-it" class="tumblr_blog">dasha-loses-it</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="https://northern-rebel.tumblr.com/post/175733387761/dasha-loses-it" class="tumblr_blog">northern-rebel</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://dasha-loses-it.tumblr.com/post/175733318578/friendly-neighborhood-patriarch" class="tumblr_blog">dasha-loses-it</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://friendly-neighborhood-patriarch.tumblr.com/post/175715549937/girlfriendluvr-thedevitoanditsown" class="tumblr_blog">friendly-neighborhood-patriarch</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://girlfriendluvr.tumblr.com/post/175713214958/thedevitoanditsown-pinetreeanarchism" class="tumblr_blog">girlfriendluvr</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://thedevitoanditsown.tumblr.com/post/175710984601/pinetreeanarchism-westernsocietyfucked100years" class="tumblr_blog">thedevitoanditsown</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://pinetreeanarchism.tumblr.com/post/164712342717/westernsocietyfucked100years-hell-planet-the" class="tumblr_blog">pinetreeanarchism</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://www.westernsocietyfucked100years.com/post/164697571308/hell-planet" class="tumblr_blog">westernsocietyfucked100years</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>hell planet</p></blockquote> <p>The rich will track you down and steal your home from you if you disagree with them on the internet.</p> <p class="npf_quirky" data-npf='{"subtype":"quirky"}'>Earth is fucked.</p> </blockquote> <p>Why do people like this woman again?</p> </blockquote> <p>holy shit jkr is ridiculously evil</p> </blockquote> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="204" data-orig-width="400"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/0bea1abd2b2f16419b281392150d1ed0/tumblr_inline_pbm1g2iw1I1t75kj8_540.gif" data-orig-height="204" data-orig-width="400"/></figure><p>this can’t be real</p> </blockquote> <p>Please let this be a troll</p> </blockquote> <p>THIS IS FAKE. Here’s the real response</p> <p><a href="https://twitter.com/jk_rowling/status/639886235503337472?lang=en">https://twitter.com/jk_rowling/status/639886235503337472?lang=en</a><br/></p> <p>Don’t spread this bs without checking, people.</p> </blockquote> <p>Good to know, sounded too far-fetched to be true</p> </blockquote> <p>Thank God it’s fake. <br/></p></blockquote> <p>I mean I don’t like Rowling but this seemed like a stretch.</p>
 messing around: So
 when
 Rowling
 tweeted
 this
 back
 at
 him,
 most
 people assumed she was messing around
 Luke @lukekocura.4 Sep 2015
 Said the millionaire on her gold iphone in her mansion
 J.K. Rowling@jk rowling
 If you can't imagine yourself in one of those boats, you have something
 missing. They are dying for a life worth living. #refugeeswelcome
 J.К. Rowling
 Follow
 ojk rowling
 Replying to @lukekocura
 @Lukekocura I'll have my mansion AND your
 shack in about 2 years. Ready to get owned?
 6:42 PM-4 Sep 2015
 40,534 Retweets 59,056 Likes
 0.9匍80e0悉@

 Before responding, Rowling had researched the
 man behind the troll, Luke Kocura, and found out
 he was struggling to make mortgage payments on
 his modest home in Sheffield, England. Unless he
 turned things around within two years, he was at
 risk of foreclosure
 Rowling then closely monitored his situation,
 which, sure enough, only got worse. So two years
 later, she pounced, assuming Kocura's mortgage,
 repossessing the house from the bank, and now
 she owns it.
 To celebrate the long-game owning, she tweeted
 this at him:
 J.K. Rowling
 @jk_rowling
 Follow
 @Lukekocura I was unduly harsh before. The
 place isn't a shack. It's more of a hut. Maybe
 I'll let vou come back to visit sometime!:)
<p><a href="http://celticpyro.tumblr.com/post/175735905124/dasha-loses-it-northern-rebel" class="tumblr_blog">celticpyro</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p><a href="http://dasha-loses-it.tumblr.com/post/175733878663/northern-rebel-dasha-loses-it" class="tumblr_blog">dasha-loses-it</a>:</p><blockquote>
<p><a href="https://northern-rebel.tumblr.com/post/175733387761/dasha-loses-it" class="tumblr_blog">northern-rebel</a>:</p>

<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://dasha-loses-it.tumblr.com/post/175733318578/friendly-neighborhood-patriarch" class="tumblr_blog">dasha-loses-it</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://friendly-neighborhood-patriarch.tumblr.com/post/175715549937/girlfriendluvr-thedevitoanditsown" class="tumblr_blog">friendly-neighborhood-patriarch</a>:</p>

<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://girlfriendluvr.tumblr.com/post/175713214958/thedevitoanditsown-pinetreeanarchism" class="tumblr_blog">girlfriendluvr</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="https://thedevitoanditsown.tumblr.com/post/175710984601/pinetreeanarchism-westernsocietyfucked100years" class="tumblr_blog">thedevitoanditsown</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="https://pinetreeanarchism.tumblr.com/post/164712342717/westernsocietyfucked100years-hell-planet-the" class="tumblr_blog">pinetreeanarchism</a>:</p>

<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://www.westernsocietyfucked100years.com/post/164697571308/hell-planet" class="tumblr_blog">westernsocietyfucked100years</a>:</p>
<blockquote><p>hell planet</p></blockquote>

<p>The rich will track you down and steal your home from you if you disagree with them on the internet.</p>
<p class="npf_quirky" data-npf='{"subtype":"quirky"}'>Earth is fucked.</p>
</blockquote>

<p>Why do people like this woman again?</p>
</blockquote>
<p>holy shit jkr is ridiculously evil</p>
</blockquote>
<figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="204" data-orig-width="400"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/0bea1abd2b2f16419b281392150d1ed0/tumblr_inline_pbm1g2iw1I1t75kj8_540.gif" data-orig-height="204" data-orig-width="400"/></figure><p>this can’t be real</p>
</blockquote>

<p>Please let this be a troll</p>
</blockquote>
<p>THIS IS FAKE. Here’s the real response</p>
<p><a href="https://twitter.com/jk_rowling/status/639886235503337472?lang=en">https://twitter.com/jk_rowling/status/639886235503337472?lang=en</a><br/></p>
<p>Don’t spread this bs without checking, people.</p>
</blockquote>

<p>Good to know, sounded too far-fetched to be true</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Thank God it’s fake. <br/></p></blockquote>

<p>I mean I don’t like Rowling but this seemed like a stretch.</p>

<p><a href="http://celticpyro.tumblr.com/post/175735905124/dasha-loses-it-northern-rebel" class="tumblr_blog">celticpyro</a>:</p> <block...

messing around: rmh8402: pegasusdragontiger: kyraneko: balencia: kitrazzle: pissedoffweasley: wizardingheadcanon: kyraneko: elidyce: thatgirlonstage: fuckyeahdeathlyhallows: sirlestrange: #that is a human as a rat as a cup That was a long 12 years for Wormtail. Can you imagine how differently their lives would’ve gone if Ron, in trying to transfigure Scabbers, had actually transfigured him back into a human?Just take a moment to imagine McGonagall’s reaction if Peter Pettigrew had abruptly appeared in her classroom from Ronald Weasley’s rat.Take a moment. Or if Ron had fucked it up a little worse and couldn’t get ‘Scabbers’ back and McGonagall had take him to disenchant him and next thing we know there’s a naked Peter Pettigrew sitting on McGonagall’s desk and the kids in that class learn six new swear words, a hex they will never dare to use, and a fear of Minerva McGonagall’s wrath that will be with them until the day they die. Ten and twenty years later first years are being pulled aside and warned never mess around in Transfiguration seriously the last time a kid mucked something up in that class Professor McGonagall used two semi-legal hexes, took down a Death Eater and sabotaged the rise of the Dark Lord before Potter had time to get his wand out. What most of Hogwarts learned first on that otherwise-unexceptionable day was that Professor McGonagall could sure scream loud. Professor Flitwick’s Charms 5th-year Charms class was close enough to catch the full effect, and the door had been left open besides; en masse the students recoiled with shock and a miscast Hiccuping Charm broke one of the windows (out which the entire flock of ravens they were practicing on escaped to the Forbidden Forest where they only had to worry about centaurs, rather than annoying young humans with wands). Up in the Divination Tower, Sibyl Trelawny preened over her foresight to have warned her students of an unprecedented catastrophe likely to occur before the hour was out. Out in Greenhouse Five, a NEWT-level Herbology class looked up in puzzlement, and most of them were subsequently bitten by the Venomous Tentaculae they were attempting to propagate. It does not do to ignore a Venomous Tentacula when you’re prodding at its intimate parts with a cotton ball held in tweezers, so the class was cancelled while two-thirds of the students headed for the infirmary and the rest of them headed into the castle because if they stayed with the Venomous Tentaculae they’d be outnumbered, and nobody wants that. And down in the dungeons, Professor Snape turned away from comparing Lee Jordan’s Pepper-Up Potion to spoiled cream at what sounded like a woman screaming from the entrance hall. At the second scream, he ordered the class to remain where they were and behave, sweeping out of the room just in time to miss Theodore Nott suddenly jumping up and yelping as if someone had put a crocodile heart down the back of his robes. Fred Weasley stepped back from the unfortunate Slytherin, shared a smirk with his twin, and stuck his head out the door to make sure Snape had rounded the corner before leading the way out of the classroom. - Back in the Transfiguration classroom, about four minutes ago, it had started innocently enough. Ron Weasley, possessed of a broken wand and a lurking suspicion that most of the family’s magical talent had been soaked up by his siblings before he was around to get any, had attempted to turn his pet rat, Scabbers, into a teacup. Scabbers had not become a teacup. Scabbers, blast his useless furry little backside, had become a furry, vaguely teacup-shaped monstrosity out of which absolutely no one would have been tempted to drink, and to make matters worse, he still had a tail. It was moving. Harry was hiding a smile behind his hand. Dean and Seamus weren’t even trying to hide, elbowing each other and laughing. Parvati and Lavender were looking with disgust and horror at either Scabbers or him, and Hermione was opening her mouth, no doubt ready to tell him exactly what he’d done wrong. Which only made it worse that he really thought he’d done everything right this time. He snatched Scabbers off the desk (eww, the base of the cup had the same texture as rat feet) and turned away from Hermione. He made the wand movement again, picturing in his mind the way McGonagall had demonstrated it. “Erreverto.” “Erreverto. Erreverto. Erreverto.” It didn’t work. It didn’t work when Professor McGonagall stopped by and gave Hermione two points for Gryffindor for getting the spell perfect in both directions. It didn’t work when Harry made his successful transfiguration (Ron looked; the pattern was a little bit furry but it was definitely a teacup). Ron’s lips formed the shape of a word that would’ve made his mother box his ears had she heard it and attempted the reverse transfiguration, which didn’t work either. Finally, faced not only with the indignity of failure but the threat of Scabbers being stuck like that, he’d gone up to Professor McGonagall’s desk. “Um, Professor?” Professor McGonagall looked up from the paper she was grading and looked from him to the squirming teacup. “Problems, Mr. Weasley?” “Um, yeah, Professor. I can’t get it to work in either direction and it’s not fair to Scabbers to make him stay as a teacup just because I can’t do a spell right and can you maybe … ?” “I suppose so, Mr. Weasley,” she said, and waved her wand in the exact manner Ron had been doing all along. Nothing happened. Professor McGonagall looked very, very puzzled. “Now that’s odd,” she said softly. As one, the other students rose from their seats and quietly moved closer. She did not attempt the transfiguration in the other direction. Instead, she made a complex motion with her wand and murmured an incantation that possibly only Hermione recognized. The teacup squeaked. Professor McGonagall looked more puzzled than ever, and made a sweeping wand movement that ended with a sharp jab and uttered, “Arcanum finite!” And there was a loud bang, and there was a pale, pudgy, and very naked man sprawled out on her desk, and she jumped back hard enough to knock her chair into the wall and screamed. - Having taught a particularly rigorous course of magical study to children and teens for quite some time now, Minerva McGonagall had become accustomed to certain things. Students who didn’t listen. Students who did rude things to the mice when they thought she wasn’t looking. Students who accidentally turned a frog or a raven into a flock of starlings or a school of strange slimy South American fish (and tried to solve the immediate problem by filling the classroom with two feet of water, neglecting to consider the gap under the door). Students who tried to transfigure their noses into a more appealing shape and wound up in the hospital wing regrowing their nostrils. Naked men on her desk was something Minerva McGonagall had never had an occasion to get used to. What made it worse was that she recognized this one, and he’d been dead for more than a decade. Inferius! was her first thought, followed shortly thereafter by Animagus, which collided with Peter Pettigrew! and produced the utterly horrifying thought of what if all four of them were Animagi? which didn’t bear thinking about at all, so her brain jumped to if he wasn’t killed by a Dark Wizard then why didn’t he say so? and realized there was only one possible explanation why, and about that time her eyes registered that parts of Peter Pettigrew she really doesn’t want to know about were flopping about in front of her face, and she was screaming as she jumped back. The flow of invective which followed somehow failed to surprise her one bit. Some part of her registered, peripherally, the shocked faces of her students, but most of her attention was directed at Peter Pettigrew, who at very least faked his own death and at worst framed Sirius Black and if Black didn’t betray the Potters then who … did. And the words poured out of her, filthy English and filthier Latin while Pettigrew squirmed on the table, his face rage and guilt and fear and something shifty and contemptible, and he turned to look at the stunned students and lunged for Ron Weasley’s wand. - Severus Snape had reached the Entrance Hall by the time the scream died away and the invective replaced it. He almost smirked, amid the alarm; of all the things he’d never expected to hear from Minerva McGonagall … he took the stairs two at a time, still not noticing the students who followed. He did notice the Herbology class, which had stopped on the way to the Infirmary and were staring transfixed in the direction of the Transfiguration classroom, but pushed his way through them, getting Venomous Tentacula pollen all over his robes in the process. From the other end of the corridor came Professor Flitwick’s Charms class, with Professor Flitwick bringing up the rear and pushing his way between students. - Ron looked stunned as the man who’d been his pet rat snatched the wand from his hand; Professor McGonagal’s expression shifted to one beyond fury and when the entire class recoiled, it wasn’t from the naked man with the wand. “Laedo!“ Minerva McGonagall roared. - Ron Weasley’s wand cast a Splintering Curse many years beyond its rightful owner’s abilities, and it did Peter Pettigrew the poor favor of eliminating the door, which might have slowed him down a bit. - Severus Snape flailed and skidded to a halt as the Transfiguration classroom’s door shattered. He stepped back just in time, and stared, jaw dropped in shock, as a naked man he recognized from his school days flew past him and bellyflopped against the wall, bounced, and collapsed to the ground just in time to avoid the “Exitium!” which followed and vaporized an impresive chunk of the castle’s stone wall. Fred and George and Lee Jordan, determined to stay at the front of the crowd, had been pushed almost against Professor Snape by their fellow Potions classmates and some pollen-coated Hufflepuffs. Fred squirmed aside hastily as Professor McGonagall appeared in the doorway, the look on her face so utterly livid that Professors Snape and Flitwick both reflexively stepped back. Snape tripped over George’s foot and fell against a knot of Hufflepuffs, releasing another cloud of pollen and knocking them backwards. Pettigrew saw his opportunity and took it, scrambling to his feet, stumbling sideways, and launching himself towards the gap. And Minerva McGonagall made a thrust with her wand and said, “Perdo.” In the very loud silence which followed, Filius Flitwick squeaked, “The Splinching Charm, Minerva?” She might’ve looked embarrassed for a moment, and then she smiled as she looked down at Pettigrew, who lay on his belly, his arms and legs lying akimbo some distance away. “Unorthodox,” she said, “but useful in a pinch. If someone would inform the Headmaster, and send an owl to the Ministry—-not Fudge, not Crouch, someone competent—-Shacklebolt, perhaps. Students, return to your classrooms, please. Mr. Weasley, I’m very sorry, but I do believe it’s impossible to return you your rat. However, the zero I was going to have to give you for the day’s work is entirely undeserved, as you were not transfiguring a normal rat. You may make the lesson up any time this week.” - The story was, of course, much embellished by the time it reached all the students. Versions of it had the intruder peppering Snape with a Glitter Hex or transfiguring Ron’s rat into a pair of boxers, and people had to be disabused of the notion that it had been Voldemort who’d been hiding as a rat all this time. Snape gave both Weasley twins detention for tripping him, and took forty-seven points total from Gryffindor over the next few weeks for various pretend-subtle pollen references. Kingsley Shacklebolt showed up with a team of Aurors in time to meet Professor Dumbledore; the Wizengamot launched an investigation into the events surrounding the Potters’ murder; the results turned into a scandal which saw the release of Sirius Black and the forced resignation of both Director Bartemious Crouch and Minister Cornelius Fudge. Director of Magical Law Enforcement Amelia Bones was confirmed as Minister of Magic shortly thereafte, and the Daily Prophet reported that Sirius Black (“Godfather to the Boy-Who-Lived!” “Framed, Abandoned, Condemned to Living Hell!” “Heart-Wrenching: His Release In Pictures, Page 17!”) was considering applying for a teaching position at Hogwarts, “but just for a year, I’ve been cursed enough for one lifetime.” (“The Prophet reminds its readers that the so-called “curse” on a certain Hogwarts teaching position is almost certainly a mere string of coincidences.”) And, Minerva thought with relish some months later, it was almost three weeks before anyone attempted messing around in her class. A personal record. I’ve probably reblogged this before but I’m going to do it again right now I think this is literally the best au this entire fandom has produced I’ve only seen this legendary bit of writing in memes and screenshots. I feel so blessed to see it in person. Beautiful, simply beautiful! Reblogging my own post because a) it’s my damn horn and I’ll blow it if I want to, and b) I just (finally!) cross-posted this to Archive Of Our Own, so if anybody wants to go read it over there, here it is. YESSSSSSS!  Love it!!
 messing around: rmh8402:

pegasusdragontiger:


kyraneko:

balencia:

kitrazzle:

pissedoffweasley:

wizardingheadcanon:

kyraneko:

elidyce:

thatgirlonstage:

fuckyeahdeathlyhallows:

sirlestrange:

#that is a human as a rat as a cup

That was a long 12 years for Wormtail.

Can you imagine how differently their lives would’ve gone if Ron, in trying to transfigure Scabbers, had actually transfigured him back into a human?Just take a moment to imagine McGonagall’s reaction if Peter Pettigrew had abruptly appeared in her classroom from Ronald Weasley’s rat.Take a moment.

Or if Ron had fucked it up a little worse and couldn’t get ‘Scabbers’ back and McGonagall had take him to disenchant him and next thing we know there’s a naked Peter Pettigrew sitting on McGonagall’s desk and the kids in that class learn six new swear words, a hex they will never dare to use, and a fear of Minerva McGonagall’s wrath that will be with them until the day they die.
Ten and twenty years later first years are being pulled aside and warned never mess around in Transfiguration seriously the last time a kid mucked something up in that class Professor McGonagall used two semi-legal hexes, took down a Death Eater and sabotaged the rise of the Dark Lord before Potter had time to get his wand out.

What most of Hogwarts learned first on that otherwise-unexceptionable day was that Professor McGonagall could sure scream loud.
Professor Flitwick’s Charms 5th-year Charms class was close enough to catch the full effect, and the door had been left open besides; en masse the students recoiled with shock and a miscast Hiccuping Charm broke one of the windows (out which the entire flock of ravens they were practicing on escaped to the Forbidden Forest where they only had to worry about centaurs, rather than annoying young humans with wands).
Up in the Divination Tower, Sibyl Trelawny preened over her foresight to have warned her students of an unprecedented catastrophe likely to occur before the hour was out.
Out in Greenhouse Five, a NEWT-level Herbology class looked up in puzzlement, and most of them were subsequently bitten by the Venomous Tentaculae they were attempting to propagate. It does not do to ignore a Venomous Tentacula when you’re prodding at its intimate parts with a cotton ball held in tweezers, so the class was cancelled while two-thirds of the students headed for the infirmary and the rest of them headed into the castle because if they stayed with the Venomous Tentaculae they’d be outnumbered, and nobody wants that.
And down in the dungeons, Professor Snape turned away from comparing Lee Jordan’s Pepper-Up Potion to spoiled cream at what sounded like a woman screaming from the entrance hall. At the second scream, he ordered the class to remain where they were and behave, sweeping out of the room just in time to miss Theodore Nott suddenly jumping up and yelping as if someone had put a crocodile heart down the back of his robes.
Fred Weasley stepped back from the unfortunate Slytherin, shared a smirk with his twin, and stuck his head out the door to make sure Snape had rounded the corner before leading the way out of the classroom.
-
Back in the Transfiguration classroom, about four minutes ago, it had started innocently enough. Ron Weasley, possessed of a broken wand and a lurking suspicion that most of the family’s magical talent had been soaked up by his siblings before he was around to get any, had attempted to turn his pet rat, Scabbers, into a teacup.
Scabbers had not become a teacup.
Scabbers, blast his useless furry little backside, had become a furry, vaguely teacup-shaped monstrosity out of which absolutely no one would have been tempted to drink, and to make matters worse, he still had a tail.
It was moving.
Harry was hiding a smile behind his hand. Dean and Seamus weren’t even trying to hide, elbowing each other and laughing. Parvati and Lavender were looking with disgust and horror at either Scabbers or him, and Hermione was opening her mouth, no doubt ready to tell him exactly what he’d done wrong.
Which only made it worse that he really thought he’d done everything right this time.
He snatched Scabbers off the desk (eww, the base of the cup had the same texture as rat feet) and turned away from Hermione. He made the wand movement again, picturing in his mind the way McGonagall had demonstrated it. “Erreverto.”
“Erreverto. Erreverto. Erreverto.”
It didn’t work. It didn’t work when Professor McGonagall stopped by and gave Hermione two points for Gryffindor for getting the spell perfect in both directions. It didn’t work when Harry made his successful transfiguration (Ron looked; the pattern was a little bit furry but it was definitely a teacup). Ron’s lips formed the shape of a word that would’ve made his mother box his ears had she heard it and attempted the reverse transfiguration, which didn’t work either.
Finally, faced not only with the indignity of failure but the threat of Scabbers being stuck like that, he’d gone up to Professor McGonagall’s desk.
“Um, Professor?”
Professor McGonagall looked up from the paper she was grading and looked from him to the squirming teacup. “Problems, Mr. Weasley?”
“Um, yeah, Professor. I can’t get it to work in either direction and it’s not fair to Scabbers to make him stay as a teacup just because I can’t do a spell right and can you maybe … ?”
“I suppose so, Mr. Weasley,” she said, and waved her wand in the exact manner Ron had been doing all along.
Nothing happened.
Professor McGonagall looked very, very puzzled.
“Now that’s odd,” she said softly.
As one, the other students rose from their seats and quietly moved closer.
She did not attempt the transfiguration in the other direction. Instead, she made a complex motion with her wand and murmured an incantation that possibly only Hermione recognized. The teacup squeaked. Professor McGonagall looked more puzzled than ever, and made a sweeping wand movement that ended with a sharp jab and uttered, “Arcanum finite!”
And there was a loud bang, and there was a pale, pudgy, and very naked man sprawled out on her desk, and she jumped back hard enough to knock her chair into the wall and screamed.
-
Having taught a particularly rigorous course of magical study to children and teens for quite some time now, Minerva McGonagall had become accustomed to certain things. Students who didn’t listen. Students who did rude things to the mice when they thought she wasn’t looking. Students who accidentally turned a frog or a raven into a flock of starlings or a school of strange slimy South American fish (and tried to solve the immediate problem by filling the classroom with two feet of water, neglecting to consider the gap under the door). Students who tried to transfigure their noses into a more appealing shape and wound up in the hospital wing regrowing their nostrils.
Naked men on her desk was something Minerva McGonagall had never had an occasion to get used to. What made it worse was that she recognized this one, and he’d been dead for more than a decade.
Inferius! was her first thought, followed shortly thereafter by Animagus, which collided with Peter Pettigrew! and produced the utterly horrifying thought of what if all four of them were Animagi? which didn’t bear thinking about at all, so her brain jumped to if he wasn’t killed by a Dark Wizard then why didn’t he say so? and realized there was only one possible explanation why, and about that time her eyes registered that parts of Peter Pettigrew she really doesn’t want to know about were flopping about in front of her face, and she was screaming as she jumped back.
The flow of invective which followed somehow failed to surprise her one bit. Some part of her registered, peripherally, the shocked faces of her students, but most of her attention was directed at Peter Pettigrew, who at very least faked his own death and at worst framed Sirius Black and if Black didn’t betray the Potters then who … did. And the words poured out of her, filthy English and filthier Latin while Pettigrew squirmed on the table, his face rage and guilt and fear and something shifty and contemptible, and he turned to look at the stunned students and lunged for Ron Weasley’s wand.
-
Severus Snape had reached the Entrance Hall by the time the scream died away and the invective replaced it. He almost smirked, amid the alarm; of all the things he’d never expected to hear from Minerva McGonagall … he took the stairs two at a time, still not noticing the students who followed.
He did notice the Herbology class, which had stopped on the way to the Infirmary and were staring transfixed in the direction of the Transfiguration classroom, but pushed his way through them, getting Venomous Tentacula pollen all over his robes in the process.
From the other end of the corridor came Professor Flitwick’s Charms class, with Professor Flitwick bringing up the rear and pushing his way between students.
-
Ron looked stunned as the man who’d been his pet rat snatched the wand from his hand; Professor McGonagal’s expression shifted to one beyond fury and when the entire class recoiled, it wasn’t from the naked man with the wand.
“Laedo!“ Minerva McGonagall roared.
-
Ron Weasley’s wand cast a Splintering Curse many years beyond its rightful owner’s abilities, and it did Peter Pettigrew the poor favor of eliminating the door, which might have slowed him down a bit.
-
Severus Snape flailed and skidded to a halt as the Transfiguration classroom’s door shattered. He stepped back just in time, and stared, jaw dropped in shock, as a naked man he recognized from his school days flew past him and bellyflopped against the wall, bounced, and collapsed to the ground just in time to avoid the “Exitium!” which followed and vaporized an impresive chunk of the castle’s stone wall.
Fred and George and Lee Jordan, determined to stay at the front of the crowd, had been pushed almost against Professor Snape by their fellow Potions classmates and some pollen-coated Hufflepuffs. Fred squirmed aside hastily as Professor McGonagall appeared in the doorway, the look on her face so utterly livid that Professors Snape and Flitwick both reflexively stepped back.
Snape tripped over George’s foot and fell against a knot of Hufflepuffs, releasing another cloud of pollen and knocking them backwards. Pettigrew saw his opportunity and took it, scrambling to his feet, stumbling sideways, and launching himself towards the gap.
And Minerva McGonagall made a thrust with her wand and said, “Perdo.”
In the very loud silence which followed, Filius Flitwick squeaked, “The Splinching Charm, Minerva?”
She might’ve looked embarrassed for a moment, and then she smiled as she looked down at Pettigrew, who lay on his belly, his arms and legs lying akimbo some distance away.
“Unorthodox,” she said, “but useful in a pinch. If someone would inform the Headmaster, and send an owl to the Ministry—-not Fudge, not Crouch, someone competent—-Shacklebolt, perhaps. Students, return to your classrooms, please. Mr. Weasley, I’m very sorry, but I do believe it’s impossible to return you your rat. However, the zero I was going to have to give you for the day’s work is entirely undeserved, as you were not transfiguring a normal rat. You may make the lesson up any time this week.”
-
The story was, of course, much embellished by the time it reached all the students. Versions of it had the intruder peppering Snape with a Glitter Hex or transfiguring Ron’s rat into a pair of boxers, and people had to be disabused of the notion that it had been Voldemort who’d been hiding as a rat all this time.
Snape gave both Weasley twins detention for tripping him, and took forty-seven points total from Gryffindor over the next few weeks for various pretend-subtle pollen references.
Kingsley Shacklebolt showed up with a team of Aurors in time to meet Professor Dumbledore; the Wizengamot launched an investigation into the events surrounding the Potters’ murder; the results turned into a scandal which saw the release of Sirius Black and the forced resignation of both Director Bartemious Crouch and Minister Cornelius Fudge. Director of Magical Law Enforcement Amelia Bones was confirmed as Minister of Magic shortly thereafte, and the Daily Prophet reported that Sirius Black (“Godfather to the Boy-Who-Lived!” “Framed, Abandoned, Condemned to Living Hell!” “Heart-Wrenching: His Release In Pictures, Page 17!”) was considering applying for a teaching position at Hogwarts, “but just for a year, I’ve been cursed enough for one lifetime.” (“The Prophet reminds its readers that the so-called “curse” on a certain Hogwarts teaching position is almost certainly a mere string of coincidences.”)
And, Minerva thought with relish some months later, it was almost three weeks before anyone attempted messing around in her class.
A personal record.

I’ve probably reblogged this before but I’m going to do it again right now

I think this is literally the best au this entire fandom has produced

I’ve only seen this legendary bit of writing in memes and screenshots. I feel so blessed to see it in person.

Beautiful, simply beautiful!

Reblogging my own post because a) it’s my damn horn and I’ll blow it if I want to, and b) I just (finally!) cross-posted this to Archive Of Our Own, so if anybody wants to go read it over there, here it is.

YESSSSSSS! 


Love it!!

rmh8402: pegasusdragontiger: kyraneko: balencia: kitrazzle: pissedoffweasley: wizardingheadcanon: kyraneko: elidyce: thatgirlon...

messing around: RULES 0 You are NOT to have a single girls phone number e You are NOT to follow them on any social media (including Instagram Snapchat e and Twitter) 0a01 You are NOT to hang out with Keegan (including his house or anywhere in public) * You are NOT to go to Honda without me vvoom vroom You are NOT to hang out with your friends more than two times a week You're NOT to look at a single girl e If girls come up to you at any place or anytime you are to WALK away e Mo is to NOT hang out us every time we hang out e You are NOT to ask for head Nauaugn You are NOT to get mad at me about a single thing ever again e You're NOT to bring up Tyler Noah,Deven or Josh ever again Ewwie . You are NOT allowed to drink unless l am with you 2i? e I am allowed to do a phone check when EVER I please xox)xxx-xx o If we move in there are to NEVER ever be girls at our houseo If we move in together your friends Wil RARLEY be allowed over I kill you If I catch you around girls You are NOT to ditch me for your friends e . Austin does NOT CONTROL WHENI HANG OUT WITH YOU! nave e We are to go on a legit date once every two weeks at least Yose . If I say jump you say "how high princess" Xoxo e You are to make sure you tell me you love me once a day at least so I know your not messing around You are to NEVER take longer than 10 mins to text me back e love a healthy trusting relationship 😍😍😍😍sending this rules to my s-o right now!! 😍😍😍😍😍💖💖
 messing around: RULES 0
 You are NOT to have a single girls phone number
 e
 You are NOT to follow them on any social media (including Instagram Snapchat
 e
 and Twitter)
 0a01
 You are NOT to hang out with Keegan (including his house or anywhere in public)
 *
 You are NOT to go to Honda without me vvoom vroom
 You are NOT to hang out with your friends more than two times a week
 You're NOT to look at a single girl
 e
 If girls come up to you at any place or anytime you are to WALK away
 e
 Mo is to NOT hang out us every time we hang out
 e You are NOT to ask for head Nauaugn
 You are NOT to get mad at me about a single thing ever again
 e You're NOT to bring up Tyler Noah,Deven or Josh ever again Ewwie
 . You are NOT allowed to drink unless l am with you 2i?
 e I am allowed to do a phone check when EVER I please xox)xxx-xx
 o If we move in there are to NEVER ever be girls at our houseo
 If we move in together your friends Wil RARLEY be allowed over
 I kill you
 If I catch you around girls
 You are NOT to ditch me for your friends
 e
 . Austin does NOT CONTROL WHENI HANG OUT WITH YOU! nave
 e We are to go on a legit date once every two weeks at least Yose
 . If I say jump you say "how high princess" Xoxo
 e You are to make sure you tell me you love me once a day at least so I know your
 not messing around
 You are to NEVER take longer than 10 mins to text me back
 e
love a healthy trusting relationship 😍😍😍😍sending this rules to my s-o right now!! 😍😍😍😍😍💖💖

love a healthy trusting relationship 😍😍😍😍sending this rules to my s-o right now!! 😍😍😍😍😍💖💖

messing around: junelets: Got carried away with a sketch oops. Messing around with painting styles~ Hanzo is still probs my fave.
 messing around: junelets:
Got carried away with a sketch oops. Messing around with painting styles~
Hanzo is still probs my fave.

junelets: Got carried away with a sketch oops. Messing around with painting styles~ Hanzo is still probs my fave.