Me When I
Me When I

Me When I

7 Year Old
7 Year Old

7 Year Old

A Few
A Few

A Few

Insecurities
Insecurities

Insecurities

Https
Https

Https

I Was
I Was

I Was

When I
When I

When I

Going
Going

Going

Have
Have

Have

Are
Are

Are

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Being Alone, Bad, and Family: NEW EPISODE CN CARTOETw I WAS TERRIBLE TO YOU. I LIKED TAKING EVERYTHING OUT ON YO.. beta-kindergarten: Because this is, for whatever reason being discussed again in the tags, here’s just another reminder to everyone, and especially to my fellow survivors who see themselves in Jasper: SU has /never/ been ambiguous regarding who was in control of malachite. It was undoubtedly Lapis up until SWI, and even then you could say she and Jasper were working together to fight the CGs. Abuse by definition NEEDS to have a power imbalance between the victim and abuser. Jasper was never allowed that power, while Lapis is always described as the one who was in control, therefore Lapis was the abuser and Jasper was the victim. Victims aren’t always good people. Jasper is very much a victim of circumstance, both from the war and from Malachite. Yes, she’s abusive, but towards the corrupted gems, and has yet to be given a chance to unlearn her toxic behaviors. She’s a messy victim, she’s aggressive and angry, and there are so many survivors who act like this; and guess what, they’re still victims. Having “ugly” symptoms and feeling affection for your abuser does NOT make you the abuser of the relationship. It doesn’t undermine your abuse and certainly doesn’t justify it, no matter what vitriol this fandom tries to spew at you because you see Jasper as the victim. Abusers aren’t always going to be your enemy. They aren’t always going to be bigger than you, or physically stronger. They can be friends or family or “beach summer fun buddies”. They can be nice sometimes and absolutely terrible other times. And they can also have traumas of their own. This doesn’t change or excuse the fact that they’re abusive. Lapis is this kind of abuser. She was the one holding the chains, the one who acknowledges her own power (and fears being placed in positions of control because of it), and the one who regrets her decisions and is trying to stop being abusive. Frankly I don’t care about protagonist centered morality enough to even consider Steven’s point of view regarding Malachite. I don’t care what the CGs in the show have to say about the situation because regardless of how much of a “terrible” person Jasper is, it’s presented clearly to us who was the one being held in chains against their will. I also cannot be bothered to care about your definitions of “lashing out” or, “self-blaming”. Lapis made her intentions painfully clear that this was for revenge and wanting to take out everything on someone. She doesn’t love the earth nor does she want to play nice with the CGs. So don’t even try to tell me this because I’m frankly just /tired/ of being reminded that you people don’t actually care about victims if our behaviors or coping mechanisms are “wrong” to you. Also, of the 2 years that I’ve been involved in this hell fandom I’ve yet to see Jasper fans attack the inboxes or posts of Lapis fans to the same extent that the reverse has been done. Jasper fans don’t spread ugly rumors about Rebecca Sugar’s abuse history either, so it’s pretty ironic that WE’RE the ones who condone abuse isn’t it? tl;dr: You’re honestly disgusting if you’ve EVER tried to make a victim feel bad for liking Jasper, and I sincerely hope you grow up some day and learn that it’s not worth it to harm real people and survivors for the sake of a cartoon. And if you’re a victim who relates to Jasper, believe me when I say you aren’t alone and you aren’t a bad person. Keep doing you. ✌️
Being Alone, Bad, and Family: NEW EPISODE
 CN
 CARTOETw

 I WAS TERRIBLE TO YOU.

 I LIKED TAKING EVERYTHING OUT ON YO..
beta-kindergarten:

Because this is, for whatever reason being discussed again in the tags, here’s just another reminder to everyone, and especially to my fellow survivors who see themselves in Jasper:

SU has /never/ been ambiguous regarding who was in control of malachite. It was undoubtedly Lapis up until SWI, and even then you could say she and Jasper were working together to fight the CGs. Abuse by definition NEEDS to have a power imbalance between the victim and abuser. Jasper was never allowed that power, while Lapis is always described as the one who was in control, therefore Lapis was the abuser and Jasper was the victim.

Victims aren’t always good people. Jasper is very much a victim of circumstance, both from the war and from Malachite. Yes, she’s abusive, but towards the corrupted gems, and has yet to be given a chance to unlearn her toxic behaviors. She’s a messy victim, she’s aggressive and angry, and there are so many survivors who act like this; and guess what, they’re still victims. Having “ugly” symptoms and feeling affection for your abuser does NOT make you the abuser of the relationship. It doesn’t undermine your abuse and certainly doesn’t justify it, no matter what vitriol this fandom tries to spew at you because you see Jasper as the victim.

Abusers aren’t always going to be your enemy. They aren’t always going to be bigger than you, or physically stronger. They can be friends or family or “beach summer fun buddies”. They can be nice sometimes and absolutely terrible other times. And they can also have traumas of their own. This doesn’t change or excuse the fact that they’re abusive. Lapis is this kind of abuser. She was the one holding the chains, the one who acknowledges her own power (and fears being placed in positions of control because of it), and the one who regrets her decisions and is trying to stop being abusive. 

Frankly I don’t care about protagonist centered morality enough to even consider Steven’s point of view regarding Malachite. I don’t care what the CGs in the show have to say about the situation because regardless of how much of a “terrible” person Jasper is, it’s presented clearly to us who was the one being held in chains against their will. I also cannot be bothered to care about your definitions of “lashing out” or, “self-blaming”. Lapis made her intentions painfully clear that this was for revenge and wanting to take out everything on someone. She doesn’t love the earth nor does she want to play nice with the CGs. So don’t even try to tell me this because I’m frankly just /tired/ of being reminded that you people don’t actually care about victims if our behaviors or coping mechanisms are “wrong” to you. 

Also, of the 2 years that I’ve been involved in this hell fandom I’ve yet to see Jasper fans attack the inboxes or posts of Lapis fans to the same extent that the reverse has been done. Jasper fans don’t spread ugly rumors about Rebecca Sugar’s abuse history either, so it’s pretty ironic that WE’RE the ones who condone abuse isn’t it?

tl;dr: You’re honestly disgusting if you’ve EVER tried to make a victim feel bad for liking Jasper, and I sincerely hope you grow up some day and learn that it’s not worth it to harm real people and survivors for the sake of a cartoon. And if you’re a victim who relates to Jasper, believe me when I say you aren’t alone and you aren’t a bad person. Keep doing you. ✌️

beta-kindergarten: Because this is, for whatever reason being discussed again in the tags, here’s just another reminder to everyone, and es...

God, Jedi, and Life: Technically, he wasn't supposed to be outside the Temple at all, not without Obi-Wan's permission "Technically" is just another way of saying you are breaking the rules, Obi-Wan would say. Either you obey a rule, or you do not He was devoted to his Master, yet sometimes Obi-Wan's earnestness could really get in the way. Anakin didn't believe in breaking Jedi rules. He just wanted to find the spaces between them Anakin was well aware that his Master knew of these midnight jaunts. Obi-Wan was amazingly perceptive. He could sense a shift in emotion or thought faster than an eyeblink Thank the moon and stars that Obi-Wan also preferred not to hear about his midnight trips. As long as Anakin was discreet and didn't get into trouble, Obi-Wan would turn a blind eye Anakin didn't want to trouble Obi-Wan, but he couldn't help himself. As the night wore on and the Temple quieted, as the Jedi students turned off their glow rods and settled down for night meditation and sleep, Anakin just got restless. The lure of the streets called him. There were projects he had to complete, droids he was building or refining, parts to scavenge, rusty treasures to uncover. But mostly he just needed to be outside, under the stars Only those of us who have been slaves can he sometimes thought. really taste freedom, gffa: Way of the Apprentice | by Jude WatsonI GIVE ANAKIN A LOT OF SHIT, BUT I REALLY LIKE THIS MOMENT A LOT.  I love that he feels a restlessness that the other Jedi don’t, because they grew up in a safe, secure, supportive environment, and Obi-Wan gets that Anakin isn’t quite the same and needs to run around a bit more.  It’s just FEELINGS ALL OVER THE PLACE FOR BOTH OF THEM.And I love that it shows the balance Obi-Wan is striking with Anakin–”either you obey a rule or you do not” is cutting through to the spirit of things, but that’s not necessarily a judgement thing.  Obi-Wan himself is “breaking the rules” by turning a blind eye to Anakin going out at night, because it’s for the good.  It fits so much with how it’s not about the letter of the law but about the spirit and intention of what you’re doing, the motivation behind it, the why of it, the bigger context of it.  That’s why it’s important to put in that Obi-Wan could sense the shift of an emotion in the blink of an eye, why it’s tied into the same context of Obi-Wan turning a blind eye when Anakin genuinely does need to get out and move.And I love that Anakin recognizes this part about himself.  He spends so much of his life not really understanding himself or what he really needs, that this moment of something that actually seems to help, along with how heartbreaking it is that he has to experience this feeling at all, just makes me allp.s. “Obi-Wan was amazingly perceptive.  He could sense the shift in emotion or thought faster than an eyeblink.” oh my god Anakin sounds EXACTLY LIKE ME when I talk about Obi-Wan, “He’s the greatest person who ever lived, he’s the smartest person who ever lived, THERE IS NO ONE BETTER.”SAME, ANAKIN.  SAME.  RIGHT DOWN TO I AM MAKING THE SAME EXACT FACE WHILE READING THIS BOOK.
God, Jedi, and Life: Technically, he wasn't supposed to be outside the Temple at all,
 not without Obi-Wan's permission
 "Technically" is just another way of saying you are breaking the
 rules, Obi-Wan would say. Either you obey a rule, or you do not
 He was devoted to his Master, yet sometimes Obi-Wan's
 earnestness could really get in the way. Anakin didn't believe in
 breaking Jedi rules. He just wanted to find the spaces between
 them
 Anakin was well aware that his Master knew of these
 midnight jaunts. Obi-Wan was amazingly perceptive. He could
 sense a shift in emotion or
 thought faster than an eyeblink
 Thank the moon and stars that Obi-Wan also preferred not to
 hear about his midnight trips. As long as Anakin was discreet
 and didn't get into trouble, Obi-Wan would turn a blind eye
 Anakin didn't want to trouble Obi-Wan, but he couldn't help
 himself. As the night wore on and the Temple quieted, as the
 Jedi students turned off their glow rods and settled down for
 night meditation and sleep, Anakin just got restless. The lure of
 the streets called him. There were projects he had to complete,
 droids he was building or refining, parts to scavenge, rusty
 treasures to uncover. But mostly he just needed to be outside,
 under the stars
 Only those of us who have been slaves can
 he sometimes thought.
 really taste freedom,
gffa:



Way of the Apprentice | by Jude WatsonI GIVE ANAKIN A LOT OF SHIT, BUT I REALLY LIKE THIS MOMENT A LOT.  I love that he feels a restlessness that the other Jedi don’t, because they grew up in a safe, secure, supportive environment, and Obi-Wan gets that Anakin isn’t quite the same and needs to run around a bit more.  It’s just FEELINGS ALL OVER THE PLACE FOR BOTH OF THEM.And I love that it shows the balance Obi-Wan is striking with Anakin–”either you obey a rule or you do not” is cutting through to the spirit of things, but that’s not necessarily a judgement thing.  Obi-Wan himself is “breaking the rules” by turning a blind eye to Anakin going out at night, because it’s for the good.  It fits so much with how it’s not about the letter of the law but about the spirit and intention of what you’re doing, the motivation behind it, the why of it, the bigger context of it.  That’s why it’s important to put in that Obi-Wan could sense the shift of an emotion in the blink of an eye, why it’s tied into the same context of Obi-Wan turning a blind eye when Anakin genuinely does need to get out and move.And I love that Anakin recognizes this part about himself.  He spends so much of his life not really understanding himself or what he really needs, that this moment of something that actually seems to help, along with how heartbreaking it is that he has to experience this feeling at all, just makes me allp.s. “Obi-Wan was amazingly perceptive.  He could sense the shift in emotion or thought faster than an eyeblink.” oh my god Anakin sounds EXACTLY LIKE ME when I talk about Obi-Wan, “He’s the greatest person who ever lived, he’s the smartest person who ever lived, THERE IS NO ONE BETTER.”SAME, ANAKIN.  SAME.  RIGHT DOWN TO I AM MAKING THE SAME EXACT FACE WHILE READING THIS BOOK.

gffa: Way of the Apprentice | by Jude WatsonI GIVE ANAKIN A LOT OF SHIT, BUT I REALLY LIKE THIS MOMENT A LOT.  I love that he feels a res...