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Looking Guy: This homeless looking guy is Grigori Yakovlevich Perelman. The mathematician who solved one of the Millennium Problems in 2002 and turn down the prize of one million dollars.
Looking Guy: This homeless looking guy is Grigori Yakovlevich Perelman. The mathematician who solved one of the Millennium Problems in 2002 and turn down the prize of one million dollars.

This homeless looking guy is Grigori Yakovlevich Perelman. The mathematician who solved one of the Millennium Problems in 2002 and turn d...

Looking Guy: s Whar is this cHARACTER's GEvdeR? Go so 2 Does te cleal look No Not sure plecr of hain sricking our? Yes No Na Yes No Does ile chENo DDESIİ€ clawit.KR Does he Ahog look like rhis? Yes No amole Yes No No Yes No hat biqeyebows? Yes No Ye No Yes No es No Do lieves look like dis? Grandpa Rome Does le look anwoyed? No Yes No No Does ile ch Does sle we ruo sibbors? Yes No No e-Chig Yes No ong lwin? Ye No libsexpression? Dors rib CRACER Yes No Yes No Yes No s ilee a veil wspped Does this chuxens hain srick up like thonme? No Yes No Maybe... Does this chce shoms look kppy? Yes No Yes No Yes No donamoeba: Hetalia Character Chart from Himaruya’s blog. I found this translated version, it’s a shame the character descriptions are still in Japanese, so I’ve taken the liberty to translate them here. (if anyone knows the source please let me know and I’ll add a link)It’s an older entry so many characters are not introduced yet (no Australia! ;_;) EDIT: Check out the edited version HERE! (bigger image size) Grandpa Rome: A spirited old man.  He’s very strong!Italy: The protagonist.  It’s a bit of a coincidence that he got his ahoge. (Italy: Ve~ Germany~)Romano: Italy’s older brother. It’s hard to tell whether he’s confident or timid.Norway: He’s mysterious and can see fairies!Korea: If his ahoge has a face, then it’s Korea! Try tell him apart by the face.Austria: If he keeps saying “obaka obaka” (fools!), then he’s Austria! Remember there’s no “al” in Austria!Turkey: If he says “beranme~” (bloody fools!) and likes sweet food, that’s him!Greece: If there’s a cat nearby, that’s him!  He thinks a lot.Iceland: In his own special category. If his hair curls inwards strangely that’s him.Canada: If he looks gentle and is with a bear, it’s Canada!America: If he has a small cowlick where his hair parts, it’s America!Sweden: If he speaks Tohoku dialect, then it’s definitely Su-san.Estonia: He’s supposed to be the best looking guy of the whole manga… England: He’s blunt, and he uses magic and sees fairies. Overall a fantastical guy.Sealand: He believes he’s a recognized nation without doubt. A mischievous boy.Germania: An old pal of Grandpa Rome. Doesn’t speak much and is very intimidating.Germany: If Italy has him wrapped around his finger, and he’s diligent and buff, then it must be him.Prussia: If there’s a bird nearby, and he goes “kesesese”, it’s him!France: He’s a big brother overflowing with love! Usually good looking.Ukraine: If her boobs make SFXs and she goes “Russia-chan, Russia-chan”, then it’s Older Sister Ukraine.Seychelles:  She wears two pigtails with big red ribbons.Belarus: If she’s scary, that’s her.Egypt: Still many unexplained mysteriesHoly Roman Empire: You can tell it’s him by his sideburns!China: The only girl in the Allies…or not.Poland: If he always says “Arienshi-” (no way~) then it must be him. Actually his stomach is pretty weak too.Lithuania: If he’s played around by Russia or Poland then it’s him.Lichtenstein: If Switzerland is nearby then it’s definitely her.Belgium: if she has almond-shaped eyes and speaks Shiga dialect, then it’s her.Taiwan: If she wears a lot of flowers and her eye color is black, then it’s her.Hungary: If she’s holding a frying pan, it’s definitely her.Switzerland: If he holds a gun and lectures people, it’s most likely him.Denmark: He doesn’t wear any accessories (or “plain-looking”, but I fully disagree :P)!  If he speaks with an Ibaraki dialect, it’s him.Japan: Even if he doesn’t look it, he’s an old man!Finland: Even though he has a cute face, he’s very strong! Moi!Hong Kong: A pretty robust and strong-willed guy.Russia: If he’s holding a water pipe, that’s him.  Only the end of his hair curls slightly.Spain: The boss everyone loves who goes “fusososo”. (I should add that the question is more accurately “Does this character always look happy WITH NO REAL REASON?” XDD)Latvia: If some weird kid is always bothering him and sometimes he just ends up picking a fight with Russia, that’s him.
Looking Guy: s Whar is this cHARACTER's GEvdeR?
 Go so 2
 Does te cleal
 look No
 Not sure
 plecr of hain sricking our?
 Yes
 No
 Na
 Yes
 No
 Does ile chENo
 DDESIİ€ clawit.KR
 Does he Ahog look
 like rhis?
 Yes No
 amole
 Yes No
 No
 Yes
 No
 hat biqeyebows?
 Yes
 No
 Ye No
 Yes
 No
 es No
 Do lieves look like dis?
 Grandpa Rome
 Does le look anwoyed?
 No
 Yes
 No
 No
 Does ile ch
 Does sle we ruo sibbors?
 Yes
 No
 No
 e-Chig
 Yes
 No
 ong lwin?
 Ye No
 libsexpression?
 Dors rib CRACER
 Yes
 No
 Yes
 No
 Yes
 No
 s ilee a veil wspped
 Does this chuxens
 hain srick up like thonme?
 No
 Yes No Maybe...
 Does this chce
 shoms look kppy?
 Yes No
 Yes
 No
 Yes
 No
donamoeba:

Hetalia Character Chart from Himaruya’s blog.
I found this translated version, it’s a shame the character descriptions are still in Japanese, so I’ve taken the liberty to translate them here. (if anyone knows the source please let me know and I’ll add a link)It’s an older entry so many characters are not introduced yet (no Australia! ;_;)
EDIT: Check out the edited version HERE! (bigger image size)
Grandpa Rome: A spirited old man.  He’s very strong!Italy: The protagonist.  It’s a bit of a coincidence that he got his ahoge. (Italy: Ve~ Germany~)Romano: Italy’s older brother. It’s hard to tell whether he’s confident or timid.Norway: He’s mysterious and can see fairies!Korea: If his ahoge has a face, then it’s Korea! Try tell him apart by the face.Austria: If he keeps saying “obaka obaka” (fools!), then he’s Austria! Remember there’s no “al” in Austria!Turkey: If he says “beranme~” (bloody fools!) and likes sweet food, that’s him!Greece: If there’s a cat nearby, that’s him!  He thinks a lot.Iceland: In his own special category. If his hair curls inwards strangely that’s him.Canada: If he looks gentle and is with a bear, it’s Canada!America: If he has a small cowlick where his hair parts, it’s America!Sweden: If he speaks Tohoku dialect, then it’s definitely Su-san.Estonia: He’s supposed to be the best looking guy of the whole manga… England: He’s blunt, and he uses magic and sees fairies. Overall a fantastical guy.Sealand: He believes he’s a recognized nation without doubt. A mischievous boy.Germania: An old pal of Grandpa Rome. Doesn’t speak much and is very intimidating.Germany: If Italy has him wrapped around his finger, and he’s diligent and buff, then it must be him.Prussia: If there’s a bird nearby, and he goes “kesesese”, it’s him!France: He’s a big brother overflowing with love! Usually good looking.Ukraine: If her boobs make SFXs and she goes “Russia-chan, Russia-chan”, then it’s Older Sister Ukraine.Seychelles:  She wears two pigtails with big red ribbons.Belarus: If she’s scary, that’s her.Egypt: Still many unexplained mysteriesHoly Roman Empire: You can tell it’s him by his sideburns!China: The only girl in the Allies…or not.Poland: If he always says “Arienshi-” (no way~) then it must be him. Actually his stomach is pretty weak too.Lithuania: If he’s played around by Russia or Poland then it’s him.Lichtenstein: If Switzerland is nearby then it’s definitely her.Belgium: if she has almond-shaped eyes and speaks Shiga dialect, then it’s her.Taiwan: If she wears a lot of flowers and her eye color is black, then it’s her.Hungary: If she’s holding a frying pan, it’s definitely her.Switzerland: If he holds a gun and lectures people, it’s most likely him.Denmark: He doesn’t wear any accessories (or “plain-looking”, but I fully disagree :P)!  If he speaks with an Ibaraki dialect, it’s him.Japan: Even if he doesn’t look it, he’s an old man!Finland: Even though he has a cute face, he’s very strong! Moi!Hong Kong: A pretty robust and strong-willed guy.Russia: If he’s holding a water pipe, that’s him.  Only the end of his hair curls slightly.Spain: The boss everyone loves who goes “fusososo”. (I should add that the question is more accurately “Does this character always look happy WITH NO REAL REASON?” XDD)Latvia: If some weird kid is always bothering him and sometimes he just ends up picking a fight with Russia, that’s him.

donamoeba: Hetalia Character Chart from Himaruya’s blog. I found this translated version, it’s a shame the character descriptions are st...

Looking Guy: 0 IN MID-2004, WITH THE GLOBAL DOMINATION THAT WAS TO COME JUST A MURMUR ON THE HORIZON, WE FOLLOWED MCR AROUND THE UK FOR ONE OF THEIR VERY FIRST METAL HAMMER FEATURES WORDS: JOHN DORAN PHOTOS: JOHN McMURTRIE mcrscans.tumblr.com G- prepared for the accident that was to happen tonight at premier sauna-cum-venue, The Garage. During erard Way had been having premonitions that he was going to be blinded for months. The lead an eviscerating performance, Gerard throws himself singer of My Chemical Romancetoward the crowd just as one particularly lust-crazed kept on seeing it happen in dreams and each time he would young woman thrusts her arms up to touch him. Gerard, now wearing onyx-black shades, takes up the story: "I head-banged into her finger and it went right in my eye. It was the weirdest feeling. It was painful but the worst thing was how weird it was. I could feel her finger in my eye and all this really warm fluid running down my face. I thought my eyeball had burst and I just kept on thinking about the dreams I'd been having about wake up in a cold sweat, shaking. So he was almost going blind. I was like, 'Dude, I've lost this left eye: But the finger was right back into my socket around the eyeball where all the tendons and shit are. It made LEAP OF FAITH: THE MCRMY PILE IN ANK GENUFLECTS AT HE ALTAR OF SCREAM 38 METLHAMNERCOUK THE BROTHERS WAY: DIVVENT MESS garage RISTOR music "DOESTHE NUMBER 30 GO FROM HERE MATE?" a really weird slurping noise when she took it out.the outfit) from Newark, NJ, who, despite only having Metal Hammer has very strict rules about what girls acouple of single releases in this country, are starting can and cannot stick into its various orifices and this should definitely be a no-no. Gerard and the rest of themuch for their own safety, then they do about their fans. band are sitting around sharing coffee, beers and soft They walk out on stage to hand out bottles of water to drinks, waiting for their Manchester Hop And Grape show the people at the front and regularly douse the ones who soundcheck this evening and telling us all about how they look like they need it. They also try to protect their fans are beginning to take off in this country-while swapping from the carnage on stage if they get up there. It's Metal gig injury stories. Gerard reckons it would have been cool Hammers view that moshing is a good thing because it in a way to have lost his eye, saying: "Can you imagine gives people the chance to have catharsis and get the how cool it would be to wear an eyepatch on stage?" to cause a huge stir over here. And if they don't care violence out that is in us all without hurting anyone else You'd be the screamo Bluebeard!", adds taciturr drummer Matt Pelissier. All of the band have horror stories in this country under the age of 40 was made to go to one to tell when it comes to playing live and, watching thepunk or screamo gig a week then football violence would powerhouse performance that they put on, you can't help probably die out overnight. But Gerard still thinks there's but feel they should take out a hell of a lot more personal anegative element to it sometimes, saying: "Some of it injury insurance. "Frank [Iero] hit me in the face with the is macho bullshit. Some of the nu metal acts were just head of his guitar one night and it was bleeding so much encouraging violence for violence's sake. It gives punk that my entire face was covered in blood," says Ray Toro, rck a bad name and it makes it harder for the kids. Their the Afro-haired guitarist. "It was like a mask of blood." parents aren't going to let them go and watch bands if (usually). In fact, we'd go so far as to say that if everyone "We're a really physical band on stage," adds Gerard.they go and get the shit kicked out of them." "I slipped a couple of discs in my back on tour. Frank hasThe Garage is heaving hours before the gig even starts broken his wrist. We've all been hurt." It was the gig the night before when we first met up with the five-piece (Gerard's brother Mikey plays bass in and people keep on coming up to Gerard in the pub beforehand. He's nearly mobbed at one point by two girls coming out of McDonald's. "Oh! My! God!" says "We've all been hurt GERARD ON SOME OF THE NOT-SO-MUCH-PERKS OF THE JOB mcrscans.tumblr.com METALHAMMERCOUK 39 VEHICLES AND CONTENTS ARE LEFT ENTIRELY AT OWNERS RISK MCR'S WARM-UP YOGA one with hermouth full of Curly Wurly McFlurry "My! Chemical! Romance! for a quick pint. Now Gerard's got over the fear of nearly becoming a rocknrolcyclops, he can explain the genesis. And you can see why they're starting to attract this of their strange name. "The name is taken from an Irvine kind of attention when the gig kicks off. Within seconds Welsh book. Me and Mikey were looking at a copy of Ecstasy, of the first song, Gerard is in the crowd, screaming and thrashing like a younger, better-looking Casey Chaos. Their music is reminiscent of other emo/post-hardcoreChemical Romance mean so much on so many different bands such as Funeral For A Friend and Hundred Reasons, levels. It seemed to be the only way to describe the music. but they have a scruffier, punkier edge, which comes fromAnd in another way, Trainspotting is generally set in this the fact that they're all massive fans of Black Flag. and on the inside it said, Three tales of chemical romance." The de facto leader of the group adds: "Well, the words area with people getting caught up in a scene and a vibe The band, it has to be said, as nice as they are, don't appear to be very rock'n'roll. Hammer groans inwardly when it gets on the tour bus, as the two DVDs that are out on show are Dungeons & Dragons, the cartoon, and a stop-motion animation of Wind In The Willows. Nearly all the band go straight to bed, leaving Hammer Matt, who looks like he would sooner be pulling his own up with just Matt and the drummers from Hondo Macleanteeth out with pliers than being interviewed, perks up and The Bled, drinking Stella, listening to Refused and slightly and says, "Newark is in the State of New Jersey, talking about hi-hats. C-c-c-call the cops! where there's a lot of drugs about and that resonated with us because of all the stuff we had to fight through to become a band. The strange thing is that when you watch the movie with the drug addiction and murder, it evern looks like Newark, where we come from!" a few hours outside of New York. It's a complete goddamn The next day, when Hammer has unstuck its tonguewasteland. It's been shut down for about 20 years. It from the floor and tried to rub its aching pancreas better, we look for the band, but apparently they all got up What does it smell of?" we ask. to go sightseeing around Manchester at 5.30 this morning. "Dead bodies", he replies nonchalantly. 5.30am? That was only half an hour after Hammer went to bed! Later, after a lot of fannying about with gaffa tape says, "and during that period I was using substances and hairspray, the band finally say theyre ready to go out to overcome other substances. smells godawful." "Also, at the time I was drinking severely," Gerard "I could feel her finger in my eye... I thought my eyeball had burst" NO, ITS NOT A WEIRD GROUPIE STORY mcrscans.tumblr.com 40 METRIHAMMERCOUK "Id had a really bad year before the band and that helped me get out of it. My art career had gone down the like he could have stepped straight out of Flock Of shitter, 9/11 had just happened. I was quite close to that Seagulls, Gerard is a goth-rock marauder with raven- at the time and it affected me in a very bad way. I became black hair, torn black clothing and aviator shades, and like a hermit and just started drinking all the time and Matt, with his backwards cap and goatee beard, looks I didn't want to do anything with my life. And drinking like he's ready to walk on stage filling in for Metallica. and not doing anything else is the worst thing you can Frank is the most 'modern-looking guy in the band do in terms of depression. I had to go and see a therapist with his punctured face, gun and heart tattoos, and for the first time ever and she put me on antidepressants. asymmetrical haircut. Suddenly all their disparate looks But it wasn'tthe counselling or the drugs, it was the band gel and they look like a band should: a band of brothers. that got me out of my depression. I had a purpose again." "In this life you gotta do what you gotta do!" yells with his MC5/Mars Volta 'fro, the rake-thin Mikey looks All of the band have had similar experiences. "I think Gerard before pausing and adding, "And if that means you'll find none of us was the cool kid at school," offers doing a line of coke and getting a blow job, then that's Frank. "I felt like I never fitted in when I was younger and what you gotta do!" I think depression is a normal thing that happens in thatHammer ain't gonna argue, and by the end of the show situation. So a lot of those emotions go into our songs. there have been more members of the audience running We keep it in check now. Sometimes I go a little bit off the across the stage and diving off than those who haven't. rails but we keep each other in check. There's always beer After dragging Frank off for a quick curry in nearby around when you're on tour. You're more likely to get beer Rusholme, just to prove that all English food isn't shit, tickets than meal tickets." we rejoin the others in Manchester's premier rock bar, The reason that bands drink so much on tour is because Big Hands, where a dizzying array of beers are drunk of all of the downtime there is to kil. Matt, who doesnt by the band, and by the swelling ranks of girls who want drink that often, says: You'll get kids who are desperate to drink with them. to come backstage and when they run into the dressingWe leave them at about 3am, cavorting on the streets of room there will be, like, one guy asleep, two having a chat, Manchester, singing note-perfect impressions of English one watching the TV and another smoking a cigarettebands while dreaming about world domination. they always look so depressed, like they've walked into the wrong room. Why? You feel like saying, Look, you'd be having a better time if you were out at the bar." Frank agrees: The hour you're on stage and meeting the kids afterwards is what it's all about. It is the 22.5 GERARD WOULD NEVER LET ANYONE INTO HIS SACRED CRYPT hours of the day which is boring when you're on tour." But if last night's gig was incendiary, tonight's is certifiably cooler. Ray looks like a 1960s urban guerrilla If 'DUDE, WHERE'S MY EYE?" mcrscans.tumblr.com METALHAMM ERCOUK 41 mcrscans: My Chemical Romance (UK tour special, 2004) article for Metal Hammer Special, 2013 by John Doran, photography by John McMurtrie.
Looking Guy: 0
 IN MID-2004, WITH THE GLOBAL DOMINATION THAT WAS TO COME
 JUST A MURMUR ON THE HORIZON, WE FOLLOWED MCR AROUND
 THE UK FOR ONE OF THEIR VERY FIRST METAL HAMMER FEATURES
 WORDS: JOHN DORAN PHOTOS: JOHN McMURTRIE
 mcrscans.tumblr.com
 G-
 prepared for the accident that was to happen tonight at
 premier sauna-cum-venue, The Garage. During
 erard Way had been having
 premonitions that he was going
 to be blinded for months. The lead an eviscerating performance, Gerard throws himself
 singer of My Chemical Romancetoward the crowd just as one particularly lust-crazed
 kept on seeing it happen in
 dreams and each time he would
 young woman thrusts her arms up to touch him.
 Gerard, now wearing onyx-black shades, takes up the
 story: "I head-banged into her finger and it went right in
 my eye. It was the weirdest feeling. It was painful but the
 worst thing was how weird it was. I could feel her finger
 in my eye and all this really warm fluid running down
 my face. I thought my eyeball had burst and I just kept
 on thinking about the dreams I'd been having about
 wake up in a cold sweat, shaking. So he was almost
 going blind. I was like, 'Dude, I've lost this left eye:
 But the finger was right back into my socket around
 the eyeball where all the tendons and shit are. It made
 LEAP OF FAITH: THE
 MCRMY PILE IN
 ANK GENUFLECTS AT
 HE ALTAR OF SCREAM
 38 METLHAMNERCOUK

 THE BROTHERS
 WAY: DIVVENT MESS
 garage RISTOR
 music
 "DOESTHE NUMBER 30
 GO FROM HERE MATE?"
 a really weird slurping noise when she took it out.the outfit) from Newark, NJ, who, despite only having
 Metal Hammer has very strict rules about what girls acouple of single releases in this country, are starting
 can and cannot stick into its various orifices and this
 should definitely be a no-no. Gerard and the rest of themuch for their own safety, then they do about their fans.
 band are sitting around sharing coffee, beers and soft They walk out on stage to hand out bottles of water to
 drinks, waiting for their Manchester Hop And Grape show the people at the front and regularly douse the ones who
 soundcheck this evening and telling us all about how they look like they need it. They also try to protect their fans
 are beginning to take off in this country-while swapping from the carnage on stage if they get up there. It's Metal
 gig injury stories. Gerard reckons it would have been cool Hammers view that moshing is a good thing because it
 in a way to have lost his eye, saying: "Can you imagine gives people the chance to have catharsis and get the
 how cool it would be to wear an eyepatch on stage?"
 to cause a huge stir over here. And if they don't care
 violence out that is in us all without hurting anyone else
 You'd be the screamo Bluebeard!", adds taciturr
 drummer Matt Pelissier. All of the band have horror stories in this country under the age of 40 was made to go to one
 to tell when it comes to playing live and, watching thepunk or screamo gig a week then football violence would
 powerhouse performance that they put on, you can't help probably die out overnight. But Gerard still thinks there's
 but feel they should take out a hell of a lot more personal anegative element to it sometimes, saying: "Some of it
 injury insurance. "Frank [Iero] hit me in the face with the is macho bullshit. Some of the nu metal acts were just
 head of his guitar one night and it was bleeding so much encouraging violence for violence's sake. It gives punk
 that my entire face was covered in blood," says Ray Toro, rck a bad name and it makes it harder for the kids. Their
 the Afro-haired guitarist. "It was like a mask of blood." parents aren't going to let them go and watch bands if
 (usually). In fact, we'd go so far as to say that if everyone
 "We're a really physical band on stage," adds Gerard.they go and get the shit kicked out of them."
 "I slipped a couple of discs in my back on tour. Frank hasThe Garage is heaving hours before the gig even starts
 broken his wrist. We've all been hurt."
 It was the gig the night before when we first met up
 with the five-piece (Gerard's brother Mikey plays bass in
 and people keep on coming up to Gerard in the pub
 beforehand. He's nearly mobbed at one point by two
 girls coming out of McDonald's. "Oh! My! God!" says
 "We've all been hurt
 GERARD ON SOME OF THE NOT-SO-MUCH-PERKS OF THE JOB
 mcrscans.tumblr.com
 METALHAMMERCOUK 39

 VEHICLES AND
 CONTENTS
 ARE LEFT
 ENTIRELY AT
 OWNERS RISK
 MCR'S
 WARM-UP YOGA
 one with hermouth full of Curly Wurly McFlurry "My!
 Chemical! Romance!
 for a quick pint. Now Gerard's got over the fear of nearly
 becoming a rocknrolcyclops, he can explain the genesis.
 And you can see why they're starting to attract this
 of their strange name. "The name is taken from an Irvine
 kind of attention when the gig kicks off. Within seconds Welsh book. Me and Mikey were looking at a copy of Ecstasy,
 of the first song, Gerard is in the crowd, screaming and
 thrashing like a younger, better-looking Casey Chaos.
 Their music is reminiscent of other emo/post-hardcoreChemical Romance mean so much on so many different
 bands such as Funeral For A Friend and Hundred Reasons, levels. It seemed to be the only way to describe the music.
 but they have a scruffier, punkier edge, which comes fromAnd in another way, Trainspotting is generally set in this
 the fact that they're all massive fans of Black Flag.
 and on the inside it said, Three tales of chemical romance."
 The de facto leader of the group adds: "Well, the words
 area with people getting caught up in a scene and a vibe
 The band, it has to be said, as nice as they are, don't
 appear to be very rock'n'roll. Hammer groans inwardly
 when it gets on the tour bus, as the two DVDs that are
 out on show are Dungeons & Dragons, the cartoon,
 and a stop-motion animation of Wind In The Willows.
 Nearly all the band go straight to bed, leaving Hammer Matt, who looks like he would sooner be pulling his own
 up with just Matt and the drummers from Hondo Macleanteeth out with pliers than being interviewed, perks up
 and The Bled, drinking Stella, listening to Refused and slightly and says, "Newark is in the State of New Jersey,
 talking about hi-hats. C-c-c-call the cops!
 where there's a lot of drugs about and that resonated
 with us because of all the stuff we had to fight through to
 become a band. The strange thing is that when you watch
 the movie with the drug addiction and murder, it evern
 looks like Newark, where we come from!"
 a few hours outside of New York. It's a complete goddamn
 The next day, when Hammer has unstuck its tonguewasteland. It's been shut down for about 20 years. It
 from the floor and tried to rub its aching pancreas
 better, we look for the band, but apparently they all got up What does it smell of?" we ask.
 to go sightseeing around Manchester at 5.30 this morning. "Dead bodies", he replies nonchalantly.
 5.30am? That was only half an hour after Hammer went
 to bed! Later, after a lot of fannying about with gaffa tape says, "and during that period I was using substances
 and hairspray, the band finally say theyre ready to go out to overcome other substances.
 smells godawful."
 "Also, at the time I was drinking severely," Gerard
 "I could feel her finger in my eye...
 I thought my eyeball had burst"
 NO, ITS NOT A WEIRD GROUPIE STORY
 mcrscans.tumblr.com
 40 METRIHAMMERCOUK

 "Id had a really bad year before the band and that
 helped me get out of it. My art career had gone down the like he could have stepped straight out of Flock Of
 shitter, 9/11 had just happened. I was quite close to that Seagulls, Gerard is a goth-rock marauder with raven-
 at the time and it affected me in a very bad way. I became black hair, torn black clothing and aviator shades, and
 like a hermit and just started drinking all the time and Matt, with his backwards cap and goatee beard, looks
 I didn't want to do anything with my life. And drinking like he's ready to walk on stage filling in for Metallica.
 and not doing anything else is the worst thing you can Frank is the most 'modern-looking guy in the band
 do in terms of depression. I had to go and see a therapist with his punctured face, gun and heart tattoos, and
 for the first time ever and she put me on antidepressants. asymmetrical haircut. Suddenly all their disparate looks
 But it wasn'tthe counselling or the drugs, it was the band gel and they look like a band should: a band of brothers.
 that got me out of my depression. I had a purpose again." "In this life you gotta do what you gotta do!" yells
 with his MC5/Mars Volta 'fro, the rake-thin Mikey looks
 All of the band have had similar experiences. "I think Gerard before pausing and adding, "And if that means
 you'll find none of us was the cool kid at school," offers doing a line of coke and getting a blow job, then that's
 Frank. "I felt like I never fitted in when I was younger and what you gotta do!"
 I think depression is a normal thing that happens in thatHammer ain't gonna argue, and by the end of the show
 situation. So a lot of those emotions go into our songs. there have been more members of the audience running
 We keep it in check now. Sometimes I go a little bit off the across the stage and diving off than those who haven't.
 rails but we keep each other in check. There's always beer After dragging Frank off for a quick curry in nearby
 around when you're on tour. You're more likely to get beer Rusholme, just to prove that all English food isn't shit,
 tickets than meal tickets."
 we rejoin the others in Manchester's premier rock bar,
 The reason that bands drink so much on tour is because Big Hands, where a dizzying array of beers are drunk
 of all of the downtime there is to kil. Matt, who doesnt by the band, and by the swelling ranks of girls who want
 drink that often, says: You'll get kids who are desperate to drink with them.
 to come backstage and when they run into the dressingWe leave them at about 3am, cavorting on the streets of
 room there will be, like, one guy asleep, two having a chat, Manchester, singing note-perfect impressions of English
 one watching the TV and another smoking a cigarettebands while dreaming about world domination.
 they always look so depressed, like they've walked into
 the wrong room. Why? You feel like saying, Look, you'd be
 having a better time if you were out at the bar."
 Frank agrees: The hour you're on stage and meeting
 the kids afterwards is what it's all about. It is the 22.5
 GERARD WOULD
 NEVER LET
 ANYONE INTO
 HIS SACRED
 CRYPT
 hours of the day which is boring when you're on tour."
 But if last night's gig was incendiary, tonight's is
 certifiably cooler. Ray looks like a 1960s urban guerrilla
 If
 'DUDE, WHERE'S MY EYE?"
 mcrscans.tumblr.com
 METALHAMM
 ERCOUK 41
mcrscans:

My Chemical Romance (UK tour special, 2004) article for Metal Hammer Special, 2013 by John Doran, photography by John McMurtrie.

mcrscans: My Chemical Romance (UK tour special, 2004) article for Metal Hammer Special, 2013 by John Doran, photography by John McMurtrie.

Looking Guy: An Incomplete List of Notable Peoplel Delivered Pizza To... tybaar It's coming up on a year now since I got my curent job as a pizza delivery girl, and I thought this would be a good time to delve into the lttle ever- expanding WTFPIZZA note I keep on my cell that helps me remember some of my more, uh -interesting deliveries So without further ado and in no particular order, here's some pizza customers who left a lasting impression on me thus far A bearded man who answered the door and periodically spat blood into a crusted Harley-Davidson coffee mug while counting out his cash. A woman who slipped me a business card (in ieu of tip) for a laser tatto0 removal clinic, explaining In case you want to bring your mutilated skin back to how God intended it to be. At least three Batmans so far, but only one who did the voice. - An elderly Spanish woman who meekly presented me with a (rather classy) pead-handled .32 snub nosed revolver and asked if I knew how to load it (I do) and also, #1 could load it for her (I didnt). -A group of EMTs hanging out in the back of an ambulance at a recently extinguished (but still smouldering) house fire. -A man with a thick Alabama accent who admonished me for standing in front of his mailbox while I waited for him to answer the door. He then explained how this was a federal offense because I was "obstructing the mal system and demanded my social security number so he could report me to the proper authorties A group of young teenage girls (like 14-16) who begged me to buy a case of Bud Light (ew why) and bring it back to them. - A hotel room full of badass middie-aged women all dressed as Professor McGonagall from the Hamy Potter films, who were also completely wasted on Jello shots. They kept encouraging me to stay and party with them. A 20-something dude who answered the door with an unsheathed katana dangling through a belt loop on his jeans. Multiple instances of people asking if# I would sell them pot. (bitch get your own dealer sheesh) A guy who slipped a twenty directly into my shirt because I apparently was the "spitting image" of his deceased daughter -A woman who admonished me for driving a Mazda, and wrote "get a real car in the tip portion of my credit receipt. A very drunk dude who gave me his iPhone and had me take a bunch of Myspace-esque pictures of the both of us. He did the duck lips thing in every shot Multiple prank deliveries joke's on you motherfucker, I get paid for the gas AND I eat the pizzas you ordered) - An elderty man who wrote FUCK OFF as his signature on a credit receipt - A thirty-something guy who begged to get his order for free because he works so hard. He visibly teared up and sniffled when I told him I couldnt do anything. A dudebro wearing a bath robe and socks+sandals (indoors) who straight up wordlessly yanked the pizzas out of my hands without paying and shut the door. Multiple knockings were of no avail -A woman who angrily demanded to see my ID because she refused to believe my claims that I'm female. She proceeded to snatch my drivers icense out of my hand, run back into her house and show it to her children while pointing back at me. A kid no older than 14 who desperately tried to convince me to play WoW on the free custom server he was playing on. (But it has double - A guy who spent the entire time I was there digging a (impressively large) booger out of his nose. He proceeded to smear it on, thankfully, HIS copy of the receipt. An on-duty cop who flagged me down by intercepting me on the road before I got to the police station and pulling me over to get his pizza. -A drill instructor looking-guy who filled out his entire credit card receipt, specifically wrote 0.00 in the tip portion, then proceeded to write out a check for seventy-eight cents and handed it to me. It said pizza tip" in the For section A furious lady who yelled at me for a solid five minutes (1 kept track) al about how long it took for her delivery to get to her. She then tipped me an extra ten bucks on a six dolar order. I dunno. - An incredibly stoned teenager trying and failing to look sober. When I complimented his Adventure Time wallet (which was super cute) and asked where he got it, he immediately looked temified, sat down on the floor and muttered 1... I don't know... - Obligatory naked man with unimpressive penis - A chick at a house party who answered the door and immediately tuned to vomit into her mailbox A surly Korean mom with an amazing shoulder tattoo of a baby giving birth to a fullgrown woman - A man who lived in one of those mini-mansions inside a gated community, who sported a seemingly massive collection of what appeared to be solid glass spheres of varying size and color. I only got a quick glance in his house but there had to be hundreds of them in display racks, tables, shelves- everywhere. - A group of 20-something guys who challenged me to sing the original Pokemon theme song, which I did. And perfectly, I may add. A completely iced-out musclebound gangster kid who was blaring Regina Spektor so loud and with so much bass I actually couldnt hear anything he was saying. An elderty guy who deadpan asked me if I knew anyone who could score him holowpoint bulets. - An adorable older lesbian couple who were mortified that they didnt have any extra money for a tip, so they gave me a big sack of pistachios nstead. It took me three weeks to finish the bag this was so worth reading Souroe: tybaar story time his is. 219,895 notes realy cool actualy Pizza for Strange People
Looking Guy: An Incomplete List of Notable Peoplel Delivered Pizza To...
 tybaar
 It's coming up on a year now since I got my curent job as a pizza delivery
 girl, and I thought this would be a good time to delve into the lttle ever-
 expanding WTFPIZZA note I keep on my cell that helps me remember
 some of my more, uh -interesting deliveries
 So without further ado and in no particular order, here's some pizza
 customers who left a lasting impression on me thus far
 A bearded man who answered the door and periodically spat blood into
 a crusted Harley-Davidson coffee mug while counting out his cash.
 A woman who slipped me a business card (in ieu of tip) for a laser tatto0
 removal clinic, explaining In case you want to bring your mutilated skin
 back to how God intended it to be.
 At least three Batmans so far, but only one who did the voice.
 - An elderly Spanish woman who meekly presented me with a (rather
 classy) pead-handled .32 snub nosed revolver and asked if I knew how to
 load it (I do) and also, #1 could load it for her (I didnt).
 -A group of EMTs hanging out in the back of an ambulance at a recently
 extinguished (but still smouldering) house fire.
 -A man with a thick Alabama accent who admonished me for standing in
 front of his mailbox while I waited for him to answer the door. He then
 explained how this was a federal offense because I was "obstructing the
 mal system and demanded my social security number so he could report
 me to the proper authorties
 A group of young teenage girls (like 14-16) who begged me to buy a
 case of Bud Light (ew why) and bring it back to them.
 - A hotel room full of badass middie-aged women all dressed as Professor
 McGonagall from the Hamy Potter films, who were also completely wasted
 on Jello shots. They kept encouraging me to stay and party with them.
 A 20-something dude who answered the door with an unsheathed
 katana dangling through a belt loop on his jeans.
 Multiple instances of people asking if# I would sell them pot. (bitch get
 your own dealer sheesh)
 A guy who slipped a twenty directly into my shirt because I apparently
 was the "spitting image" of his deceased daughter
 -A woman who admonished me for driving a Mazda, and wrote "get a
 real car in the tip portion of my credit receipt.
 A very drunk dude who gave me his iPhone and had me take a bunch of
 Myspace-esque pictures of the both of us. He did the duck lips thing in
 every shot
 Multiple prank deliveries joke's on you motherfucker, I get paid for the
 gas AND I eat the pizzas you ordered)
 - An elderty man who wrote FUCK OFF as his signature on a credit
 receipt
 - A thirty-something guy who begged to get his order for free because he
 works so hard. He visibly teared up and sniffled when I told him I
 couldnt do anything.
 A dudebro wearing a bath robe and socks+sandals (indoors) who
 straight up wordlessly yanked the pizzas out of my hands without paying
 and shut the door. Multiple knockings were of no avail
 -A woman who angrily demanded to see my ID because she refused to
 believe my claims that I'm female. She proceeded to snatch my drivers
 icense out of my hand, run back into her house and show it to her
 children while pointing back at me.
 A kid no older than 14 who desperately tried to convince me to play
 WoW on the free custom server he was playing on. (But it has double
 - A guy who spent the entire time I was there digging a (impressively
 large) booger out of his nose. He proceeded to smear it on, thankfully,
 HIS copy of the receipt.
 An on-duty cop who flagged me down by intercepting me on the road
 before I got to the police station and pulling me over to get his pizza.
 -A drill instructor looking-guy who filled out his entire credit card receipt,
 specifically wrote 0.00 in the tip portion, then proceeded to write out a
 check for seventy-eight cents and handed it to me. It said pizza tip" in the
 For section
 A furious lady who yelled at me for a solid five minutes (1 kept track) al
 about how long it took for her delivery to get to her. She then tipped me
 an extra ten bucks on a six dolar order. I dunno.
 - An incredibly stoned teenager trying and failing to look sober. When I
 complimented his Adventure Time wallet (which was super cute) and
 asked where he got it, he immediately looked temified, sat down on the
 floor and muttered 1... I don't know...
 - Obligatory naked man with unimpressive penis
 - A chick at a house party who answered the door and immediately tuned
 to vomit into her mailbox
 A surly Korean mom with an amazing shoulder tattoo of a baby giving
 birth to a fullgrown woman
 - A man who lived in one of those mini-mansions inside a gated
 community, who sported a seemingly massive collection of what
 appeared to be solid glass spheres of varying size and color. I only got a
 quick glance in his house but there had to be hundreds of them in display
 racks, tables, shelves- everywhere.
 - A group of 20-something guys who challenged me to sing the original
 Pokemon theme song, which I did. And perfectly, I may add.
 A completely iced-out musclebound gangster kid who was blaring
 Regina Spektor so loud and with so much bass I actually couldnt hear
 anything he was saying.
 An elderty guy who deadpan asked me if I knew anyone who could
 score him holowpoint bulets.
 - An adorable older lesbian couple who were mortified that they didnt
 have any extra money for a tip, so they gave me a big sack of pistachios
 nstead. It took me three weeks to finish the bag
 this was so worth reading
 Souroe: tybaar story time his is.
 219,895 notes
 realy cool actualy
Pizza for Strange People

Pizza for Strange People

Looking Guy: "Cool story, bro!" life-insurancequote:Watch yourself, marginally better looking guy!
Looking Guy: "Cool story, bro!"
life-insurancequote:Watch yourself, marginally better looking guy!

life-insurancequote:Watch yourself, marginally better looking guy!

Looking Guy: "Cool story, bro!" life-insurancequote:Watch yourself, marginally better looking guy!
Looking Guy: "Cool story, bro!"
life-insurancequote:Watch yourself, marginally better looking guy!

life-insurancequote:Watch yourself, marginally better looking guy!

Looking Guy: "Cool story, bro!" life-insurancequote:Watch yourself, marginally better looking guy!
Looking Guy: "Cool story, bro!"
life-insurancequote:Watch yourself, marginally better looking guy!

life-insurancequote:Watch yourself, marginally better looking guy!

Looking Guy: SINGLE DAD'S HEART SANK WHEN TEEN DAUGHTER GOT PREGNANT. BUT HOW THINGS TURNED AROUND IS GOLD. My wife died whilst giving birth to our daughter, so naturally my daughter and I are very close. From a young age she would spend her spare time volunteering to help children who were ill or dying, and as she is a musician, she would also teach the children at the hospital I work at how to play the piano and guitar. Along with her kindness, she is the most beautiful young woman I have ever laid my eyes on. She has the sweetest smile and her mothers big blue eyes. When she brought home this scruffy looking guy who hadn't done well in school, who was unemployed and trying to make his band successful, I didn't like him at all. I'm very sorry if I offend anybody but I just couldn't understand the attraction she had to him and hoped it would fade into nothing. She could do better. About a year into their relationship, my daughter discovered that she was pregnant. My heart sunk not because I didn't want a grand-child, but because I knew she hadn't planned it and I knew she was too kind to ever consider an alternative to keeping it. Her boyfriend approached me one evening shortly after the pregnancy was announced, with a bottle of whiskey and asked if we could talk. I accepted the offer and we sat down and had a drink together. He confessed that he was scared to have a child but how he had already started saving money and how he'd started looking for a job. He explained how he knew that he wasn't good enough for my daughter but that he loved her with all of his heart and wanted to support her in her choice even if that meant throwing away his music dreams. I will admit, we both got very drunk and ended up getting along well. This boy I had first judged was actually a very nice, warm gentleman who simply wanted the best for my daughter and their future child. That was good enough for me, so I invited him to live with us and got him a job working at the same hospital I work for. My daughter and son-in-law are doing really well for themselves now. My son-in-law still works with me at the hospital (he is a nursing assistant, trained on the job) and my daughter has just qualified as a social worker. They don't own their own house but are no longer living with me or rely on me for any funds etc. I have a four year old grand-daughter and a two year old grand-son. My daughter was 19 having their first child and my son-in-law was 22. It has taken a long time for them to get on track but I am so proud of them both. And after seeing how much happiness my grand-children have brought to our small family back then, the thought of an alternative would never have crossed my mind <p>Single Dad’s Heart Sank When Teen Daughter Got Pregnant. But How Things Turned Around Is Gold.</p>
Looking Guy: SINGLE DAD'S HEART SANK WHEN TEEN DAUGHTER GOT
 PREGNANT. BUT HOW THINGS TURNED AROUND IS GOLD.
 My wife died whilst giving birth to our daughter,
 so naturally my daughter and I are very close.
 From a young age she would spend her spare time
 volunteering to help children who were ill or
 dying, and as she is a musician, she would also
 teach the children at the hospital I work at how to
 play the piano and guitar. Along with her
 kindness, she is the most beautiful young woman
 I have ever laid my eyes on. She has the sweetest
 smile and her mothers big blue eyes.
 When she brought home this scruffy looking guy
 who hadn't done well in school, who was
 unemployed and trying to make his band
 successful, I didn't like him at all. I'm very sorry
 if I offend anybody but I just couldn't understand
 the attraction she had to him and hoped it would
 fade into nothing. She could do better.
 About a year into their relationship, my daughter
 discovered that she was pregnant. My heart sunk
 not because I didn't want a grand-child, but
 because I knew she hadn't planned it and I knew
 she was too kind to ever consider an alternative to
 keeping it.
 Her boyfriend approached me one evening shortly
 after the pregnancy was announced, with a bottle
 of whiskey and asked if we could talk. I accepted
 the offer and we sat down and had a drink
 together. He confessed that he was scared to have
 a child but how he had already started saving
 money and how he'd started looking for a job. He
 explained how he knew that he wasn't good
 enough for my daughter but that he loved her
 with all of his heart and wanted to support her in
 her choice even if that meant throwing away his
 music dreams.
 I will admit, we both got very drunk and ended up
 getting along well. This boy I had first judged was
 actually a very nice, warm gentleman who simply
 wanted the best for my daughter and their future
 child. That was good enough for me, so I invited
 him to live with us and got him a job working at
 the same hospital I work for.
 My daughter and son-in-law are doing really well
 for themselves now. My son-in-law still works
 with me at the hospital (he is a nursing assistant,
 trained on the job) and my daughter has just
 qualified as a social worker. They don't own their
 own house but are no longer living with me or rely
 on me for any funds etc. I have a four year old
 grand-daughter and a two year old grand-son. My
 daughter was 19 having their first child and my
 son-in-law was 22. It has taken a long time for
 them to get on track but I am so proud of them
 both. And after seeing how much happiness my
 grand-children have brought to our small family
 back then, the thought of an alternative would
 never have crossed my mind
<p>Single Dad’s Heart Sank When Teen Daughter Got Pregnant. But How Things Turned Around Is Gold.</p>

<p>Single Dad’s Heart Sank When Teen Daughter Got Pregnant. But How Things Turned Around Is Gold.</p>

Looking Guy: fez igotcthulhu An Incomplete List of Noteable People T 've Delivered Pizzas TO tybaar It's coming up on a year now since I got my current job as a pizza delivery gir, and I thought this would be a good time to delve into the little ever- expanding WTFPIZZZA" note I keep on my cell that helps me remember some of my more, uh-interesting deliveries So without further ado and in no particular order, here's some pizza customers who left a lasting impression on me thus far -A bearded man who answered the door and periodically spat blood into a crusted Harley-Davidson coffee mug while counting out his cash. - A woman who sipped me a business card (in lieu of tip) for a laser tattoro removal clinic, explaining In case you want to bring your mutilated skin back to how God intended it to be. - At least three Batmans so far, but only one who did the voice. -An elderly Spanish woman who meekly presented me with a (rather classy) pear-handled.32 snub nosed revolver and asked if I knew how to load it (1 do) and also, if I could load it for her (1 didn't). A group of EMT's hanging out in the back of an ambulance at a recenty extinguished (but still smouldering) house fire. -A man with a thick Alabama accent who admonished me for standing in front of his mailbox while I waited for him to answer the door. He then explained how this was a federal offense because I was "obstructing the mail system and demanded my social security number so he could report me to the proper authorities A group of young teenage gils (like 14-16) who begged me to buy a case of Bud Light (ew why) and bring it back to them. - A hotel room full of badass middle-aged women all dressed as Professor McGonagall from the Hamy Potter films, who were also completely wasted on Jello shots. They kept encouraging me to stay and party with them. A 20-something dude who answered the door with an unsheathed katana dangling through a belt loop on his jeans Multiple instances of people asking if I would sell them pot. (bitch get your own dealer sheesh) -A guy who slipped a twenty directly into my shirt because I apparently was the "spitting image" of his deceased daughter. A woman who admonished me for driving a Mazda, and wrote get a real car in the tip portion of my credit receipt. - A very drunk dude who gave me his iPhone and had me take a bunch of Myspace-esque pictures of the both of us. He did the duck lips thing in every shot Multiple prank deliveries (joke's on you motherfucker, I get paid for the gas AND I eat the pizzas you ordered) An elderly man who wrote FUCK OFF as his signature on a credit receipt -A thirty-something guy who begged to get his order for free because he works so hard". He visibly teared up and sniffled when I told him I couldn't do anything. - A dudebro wearing a bath robe and socks+ sandals (indoors) who straight up wordlessly yanked the pizzas out of my hands without paying and shut the door. Multiple knockings were of no avail A woman who angrily demanded to see my ID because she refused to believe my claims that I'm female. She proceeded to snatch my drivers icense out of my hand, run back into her house and show it to her children while pointing back at me. - A kid no older than 14 who desperately tried to convince me to play WoW on the free custom server he was playing on. (But it has double XPI) - A guy who spent the entire time I was there digging a (impressively large) booger out of his nose. He proceeded to smear it on, thankfully HIS copy of the receipt -An on-duty cop who flagged me down by intercepting me on the road before I got to the police station and puling me over to get his pizza. A drill instructor looking-guy who filled out his entire credit card receipt, specifically wrote 0.00" in the tip portion, then proceeded to write out a check for seventy-eight cents and handed it to me. It said pizza tip" in the For section - A furious lady who yelled at me for a solid five minutes (1 kept track) all about how long it took for her delivery to get to her. She then tipped me an extra ten bucks on a six dollar order. I dunno. An incredibly stoned teenager trying and failing to look sober. When I complimented his Adventure Time wallet (which was super cute) and asked where he got it, he immediately looked temified, sat down on the Obligatory naked man with unimpressive penis -A chick at a house party who answered the door and immediately tuned to vomit into her mailbox. -A surty Korean mom with an amazing shoulder tattoo of a baby giving birth to a full-grown woman. - A man who lived in one of those mini-mansions inside a gated community, who sported a seemingly massive collection of what appeared to be solid glass spheres of varying size and color. I only got a quick glance in his house but there had to be hundreds of them in display racks, tables, shelves-everywhere. -A group of 20-something guys who challenged me to sing the original Pokemon theme song, which I did. And perfectly, I may add. - A completely iced-out musclebound gangster kid who was blaring Regina Spektor so loud and with so much bass I actually couldnt hear anything he was saying. -An elderty guy who deadpan asked me if I knew anyone who could score him hollowpoint bullets. - An adorable older lesbian couple who were mortified that they didnt have any extra money for a tip, so they gave me a big sack of pistachios instead. It took me three weeks to finish the bag. this was so worth reading Source: tybaar #story time aths is.. 219,895 notes realy cool actualy That was a rollercoaster of emotionsomg-humor.tumblr.com
Looking Guy: fez igotcthulhu
 An Incomplete List of Noteable
 People T 've Delivered Pizzas TO
 tybaar
 It's coming up on a year now since I got my current job as a pizza delivery
 gir, and I thought this would be a good time to delve into the little ever-
 expanding WTFPIZZZA" note I keep on my cell that helps me remember
 some of my more, uh-interesting deliveries
 So without further ado and in no particular order, here's some pizza
 customers who left a lasting impression on me thus far
 -A bearded man who answered the door and periodically spat blood into
 a crusted Harley-Davidson coffee mug while counting out his cash.
 - A woman who sipped me a business card (in lieu of tip) for a laser tattoro
 removal clinic, explaining In case you want to bring your mutilated skin
 back to how God intended it to be.
 - At least three Batmans so far, but only one who did the voice.
 -An elderly Spanish woman who meekly presented me with a (rather
 classy) pear-handled.32 snub nosed revolver and asked if I knew how to
 load it (1 do) and also, if I could load it for her (1 didn't).
 A group of EMT's hanging out in the back of an ambulance at a recenty
 extinguished (but still smouldering) house fire.
 -A man with a thick Alabama accent who admonished me for standing in
 front of his mailbox while I waited for him to answer the door. He then
 explained how this was a federal offense because I was "obstructing the
 mail system and demanded my social security number so he could report
 me to the proper authorities
 A group of young teenage gils (like 14-16) who begged me to buy a
 case of Bud Light (ew why) and bring it back to them.
 - A hotel room full of badass middle-aged women all dressed as Professor
 McGonagall from the Hamy Potter films, who were also completely wasted
 on Jello shots. They kept encouraging me to stay and party with them.
 A 20-something dude who answered the door with an unsheathed
 katana dangling through a belt loop on his jeans
 Multiple instances of people asking if I would sell them pot. (bitch get
 your own dealer sheesh)
 -A guy who slipped a twenty directly into my shirt because I apparently
 was the "spitting image" of his deceased daughter.
 A woman who admonished me for driving a Mazda, and wrote get a
 real car in the tip portion of my credit receipt.
 - A very drunk dude who gave me his iPhone and had me take a bunch of
 Myspace-esque pictures of the both of us. He did the duck lips thing in
 every shot
 Multiple prank deliveries (joke's on you motherfucker, I get paid for the
 gas AND I eat the pizzas you ordered)
 An elderly man who wrote FUCK OFF as his signature on a credit
 receipt
 -A thirty-something guy who begged to get his order for free because he
 works so hard". He visibly teared up and sniffled when I told him I
 couldn't do anything.
 - A dudebro wearing a bath robe and socks+ sandals (indoors) who
 straight up wordlessly yanked the pizzas out of my hands without paying
 and shut the door. Multiple knockings were of no avail
 A woman who angrily demanded to see my ID because she refused to
 believe my claims that I'm female. She proceeded to snatch my drivers
 icense out of my hand, run back into her house and show it to her
 children while pointing back at me.
 - A kid no older than 14 who desperately tried to convince me to play
 WoW on the free custom server he was playing on. (But it has double
 XPI)
 - A guy who spent the entire time I was there digging a (impressively
 large) booger out of his nose. He proceeded to smear it on, thankfully
 HIS copy of the receipt
 -An on-duty cop who flagged me down by intercepting me on the road
 before I got to the police station and puling me over to get his pizza.
 A drill instructor looking-guy who filled out his entire credit card receipt,
 specifically wrote 0.00" in the tip portion, then proceeded to write out a
 check for seventy-eight cents and handed it to me. It said pizza tip" in the
 For section
 - A furious lady who yelled at me for a solid five minutes (1 kept track) all
 about how long it took for her delivery to get to her. She then tipped me
 an extra ten bucks on a six dollar order. I dunno.
 An incredibly stoned teenager trying and failing to look sober. When I
 complimented his Adventure Time wallet (which was super cute) and
 asked where he got it, he immediately looked temified, sat down on the
 Obligatory naked man with unimpressive penis
 -A chick at a house party who answered the door and immediately tuned
 to vomit into her mailbox.
 -A surty Korean mom with an amazing shoulder tattoo of a baby giving
 birth to a full-grown woman.
 - A man who lived in one of those mini-mansions inside a gated
 community, who sported a seemingly massive collection of what
 appeared to be solid glass spheres of varying size and color. I only got a
 quick glance in his house but there had to be hundreds of them in display
 racks, tables, shelves-everywhere.
 -A group of 20-something guys who challenged me to sing the original
 Pokemon theme song, which I did. And perfectly, I may add.
 - A completely iced-out musclebound gangster kid who was blaring
 Regina Spektor so loud and with so much bass I actually couldnt hear
 anything he was saying.
 -An elderty guy who deadpan asked me if I knew anyone who could
 score him hollowpoint bullets.
 - An adorable older lesbian couple who were mortified that they didnt
 have any extra money for a tip, so they gave me a big sack of pistachios
 instead. It took me three weeks to finish the bag.
 this was so worth reading
 Source: tybaar #story time aths is..
 219,895 notes
 realy cool actualy
That was a rollercoaster of emotionsomg-humor.tumblr.com

That was a rollercoaster of emotionsomg-humor.tumblr.com