Poet
Poet

Poet

mistake
 mistake

mistake

too
too

too

ifs
ifs

ifs

posted
posted

posted

yours
yours

yours

oed
oed

oed

nightstand
nightstand

nightstand

hotness
hotness

hotness

enjoying
enjoying

enjoying

🔥 | Latest

leaving: Always test properly before you deploy to production. Leaving testing to users may cause unwanted chain reaction.
leaving: Always test properly before you deploy to production. Leaving testing to users may cause unwanted chain reaction.

Always test properly before you deploy to production. Leaving testing to users may cause unwanted chain reaction.

leaving: cupcakeshakesnake: thesouthernjedi: roachpatrol: ghostymcspooky: soloontherocks: notanotherreyloblog: thebaconsandwichofregret: azumariko: he was on TATOOINE you fucking loser Obi-Wan can find an invisible planet hidden by a devious Sith Lord, Anakin can’t find his ex-best friend on his own home planet while the guy is still using his own damn name. I know we give Obi-wan a lot of shit for leaving Luke with his real surname but Anakin really is that stupid the perfect hiding place: the sandiest fucking planet that anakin would never set foot on again I’d like to remind everyone again that it’s literally canon that Vader can’t step foot on Tatooine because the desert gets into his creaky old man robot joints and makes his suit break down aka the sand is coarse, rough, irritating, and gets everywhere i  d o n t  l i k e  s a n d okay but what if everyone was like ‘vader, kenobi’s on tattooine. he’s obviously on tattooine. he’s been there for years. he’s just right fucking there, we all know it.’ and vader is just desperately shaking down jedi like they’re magic eight-balls and he wants a better fortune. like ‘no i don’t like that try again’.  kenobi’s just sitting there in his pile of sand like a smug fucking bastard. he doesn’t need to hide jack shit. he went to the tattooine board of tourism and got them to print up flyers that say ‘COME TO TATTOOINE, WE HAVE SAND’ and luke is probably going to be safe until his midlife fucking crisis at this rate. palpatine finds vader aimlessly checking behind pieces of furniture in some shitty space motel on kamino ‘he’s on tattooine,’ palpatine says.  ‘nuh uh,’ vader says, and peers under a couch. peers under a couch This is the best Star Wars post I have read in a while.
leaving: cupcakeshakesnake:
thesouthernjedi:

roachpatrol:

ghostymcspooky:

soloontherocks:

notanotherreyloblog:

thebaconsandwichofregret:

azumariko:

he was on TATOOINE you fucking loser

Obi-Wan can find an invisible planet hidden by a devious Sith Lord, Anakin can’t find his ex-best friend on his own home planet while the guy is still using his own damn name.
I know we give Obi-wan a lot of shit for leaving Luke with his real surname but Anakin really is that stupid

the perfect hiding place: the sandiest fucking planet that anakin would never set foot on again

I’d like to remind everyone again that it’s literally canon that Vader can’t step foot on Tatooine because the desert gets into his creaky old man robot joints and makes his suit break down
aka the sand is coarse, rough, irritating, and gets everywhere 

i  d o n t  l i k e  s a n d

okay but what if everyone was like ‘vader, kenobi’s on tattooine. he’s obviously on tattooine. he’s been there for years. he’s just right fucking there, we all know it.’ and vader is just desperately shaking down jedi like they’re magic eight-balls and he wants a better fortune. like ‘no i don’t like that try again’. 
kenobi’s just sitting there in his pile of sand like a smug fucking bastard. he doesn’t need to hide jack shit. he went to the tattooine board of tourism and got them to print up flyers that say ‘COME TO TATTOOINE, WE HAVE SAND’ and luke is probably going to be safe until his midlife fucking crisis at this rate.
palpatine finds vader aimlessly checking behind pieces of furniture in some shitty space motel on kamino
‘he’s on tattooine,’ palpatine says. 
‘nuh uh,’ vader says, and peers under a couch.


peers under a couch


This is the best Star Wars post I have read in a while.

cupcakeshakesnake: thesouthernjedi: roachpatrol: ghostymcspooky: soloontherocks: notanotherreyloblog: thebaconsandwichofregret: azu...

leaving: brian david gilbert O @briamgilbert · 15h 17% if you're judging by how many times i mumbled "wow." after leaving the theater, cats is exactly as good as parasite O 105 27 1.8K 22.6K TOMATOMETER A spectacular disaster...This movie feels like a prank but I don't know on whom. Congratulations to dogs. I gasped with laughter, I covered my face, I pulled at my hair, I clasped my hands over my mouth to keep from screaming. Cats had broken me * I felt the light inside me slowly fading. CATE Hollywood Reporter Cat-astrophic. MirrorMovies O @MirrorMovies LA Times "Cats" is both a horror and an endurance test. #CATSMovie first reactions call it "way too horny" and "bewildering" The Beat Cats is the worst thing to happen to cats since dogs. Mashable O @mashable · Dec 16 M No, 'Cats' can not have a little salami: Jason Derulo says his penis was edited brace yourself out of the movie trib.al/PCFICBY Lindsay Ellis O @thelindsayellis 7h I am so confused by the people calling it boring. It's just two hours of body horror and bewilderment and frustrating filmmaking. I loved it. I didn't hate it. You must witness the hubris of director Tom December 19, 2019 Hooper. You must witness the hubris of Hollywood. The hubris of these performers. X Oh God, my eyes. JERS JuanPa O @jpbrammer · 14h CATS said here's the movie you deserve * By the time I left the theater, I wasn't even sure what a real cat looked like anymore. kawaiitriot: Been awhile since I made one of these but I felt inspired
leaving: brian david gilbert O @briamgilbert · 15h
 17%
 if you're judging by how many times i mumbled "wow." after leaving the
 theater, cats is exactly as good as parasite
 O 105
 27 1.8K
 22.6K
 TOMATOMETER
 A spectacular disaster...This movie feels like
 a prank but I don't know on whom.
 Congratulations to dogs.
 I gasped with laughter, I covered my face, I
 pulled at my hair, I clasped my hands over my mouth to keep
 from screaming. Cats had broken me
 * I felt the light inside me slowly fading.
 CATE
 Hollywood Reporter
 Cat-astrophic.
 MirrorMovies O
 @MirrorMovies
 LA Times
 "Cats" is both a horror and an endurance test.
 #CATSMovie first reactions call it "way too horny" and
 "bewildering"
 The Beat
 Cats is the worst thing to happen to cats since dogs.
 Mashable O @mashable · Dec 16
 M No, 'Cats' can not have a little salami: Jason Derulo says his penis was edited
 brace yourself
 out of the movie trib.al/PCFICBY
 Lindsay Ellis O @thelindsayellis 7h
 I am so confused by the people calling it boring. It's just two hours of body
 horror and bewilderment and frustrating filmmaking. I loved it.
 I didn't hate it.
 You must witness the hubris of director Tom December 19, 2019
 Hooper. You must witness the hubris of Hollywood. The hubris of
 these performers.
 X Oh God, my eyes.
 JERS
 JuanPa O @jpbrammer · 14h
 CATS said here's the movie you deserve
 * By the time I left the theater, I wasn't even
 sure what a real cat looked like anymore.
kawaiitriot:

Been awhile since I made one of these but I felt inspired

kawaiitriot: Been awhile since I made one of these but I felt inspired

leaving: Joey Saladino O @JoeySalads · 25 Sep If Trump gets impeached, I will donate my Left testicle to medical research. You can quote me on this. t7 748 957 3,583 Trevisaurus Rex @Trevisaur · 23s Pay up, you piss-drinking nazi. littlebabypubert: threadzless: aphony-cree: bscully: swevicki: dude-its-liz: libertybill: Ok but damn you gotto give it to him, dude actually did it. Bullshit. He didn’t. He’s pulling a PR stunt right now. From a quick googling, national testicle association doesn’t exist anywhere. Most hits track back to news articles to this subject matter, but there is NO actual association with that exact name (Did all these fucks who created their clickbait articles around the web even bother to check…?) “Sincerely, Dick N bawls”? Lol seriously tumblr are you this gullible everyone can take a picture of them wearing a oxygen tube, especially if it doesn’t seem to connect to anywhere (= normally a oxygen device or similar  should be next to his bed). They can be detached to the main tube, leaving only the piece that wraps around your your ears/head, that’s exactly how that photo looks like. I should have taken a pic like that last time I was in the hospital just to bullshit people on social media lmao Also this: Where’s that Testicle Association you’re speaking of? That NTA logo on the letterhead is from the Nutritional Therapy Association (x) If you expected a nazi to act with integrity you haven’t been paying attention This website is sooo fucking unbelievably stupid imagine needing an entire dissertation to understand that this neo-nazi did not actually donate his left testicle to the “National Testicle Association” and produce a document signed by a real man named Dick N Bawls
leaving: Joey Saladino O @JoeySalads · 25 Sep
 If Trump gets impeached, I will donate my Left
 testicle to medical research.
 You can quote me on this.
 t7 748
 957
 3,583
 Trevisaurus Rex @Trevisaur · 23s
 Pay up, you piss-drinking nazi.
littlebabypubert:

threadzless:

aphony-cree:

bscully:

swevicki:

dude-its-liz:


libertybill:







Ok but damn you gotto give it to him, dude actually did it.


Bullshit. He didn’t. He’s pulling a PR stunt right now.


From a quick googling, national testicle association doesn’t exist anywhere. Most hits track back to news articles to this subject matter, but there is NO actual association with that exact name (Did all these fucks who created their clickbait articles around the web even bother to check…?)
“Sincerely, Dick N bawls”? Lol seriously tumblr are you this gullible
everyone can take a picture of them wearing a oxygen tube, especially if it doesn’t seem to connect to anywhere (= normally a oxygen device or similar  should be next to his bed). They can be detached to the main tube, leaving only the piece that wraps around your your ears/head, that’s exactly how that photo looks like. I should have taken a pic like that last time I was in the hospital just to bullshit people on social media lmao

Also this:
Where’s that Testicle Association you’re speaking of?

That NTA logo on the letterhead is from the Nutritional Therapy Association (x)



If you expected a nazi to act with integrity you haven’t been paying attention 

This website is sooo fucking unbelievably stupid imagine needing an entire dissertation to understand that this neo-nazi did not actually donate his left testicle to the “National Testicle Association” and produce a document signed by a real man named Dick N Bawls

littlebabypubert: threadzless: aphony-cree: bscully: swevicki: dude-its-liz: libertybill: Ok but damn you gotto give it to...

leaving: Danimate-mush 2 Follow The BitterSweet Life @BitterSweetPod Interviewed a little girl this morning that feeds crows and they bring her gifts in return. Here's her collection. tetraghost i wish birds brought ME presents baelgrave No, but think about this. The crows she feeds obviously have their own little lives. They go about their business, and they spot *pretty thing* or lunique thing/ in question. What gets me is that the *first* thing on their minds as recipient of this thing is the little girl that feeds them. They spot a thing, and immediately must think, "that nice girl with delicious foodstuffs must have this to show my gratitude." 2 kedreeva It's actually more than that, though, if you read the articles or watch the videos. This has taken place over YEARS- it started with these birds following this little girl around because she was a messy eater and it has turned into a ritual for the family. They have a water station and food stations where they daily set out things for these birds and sometimes (but not always), these birds leave 'payment behind for the food. BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE These birds are not just taking food and leaving shinies. These birds are watching over this family now. Their lives have become involved. These crows are keeping track of this girl and her mother even when they are out of the yard. How do we know? One of them is a photographer, and one day while she was photographing some stuff on a bridge, she dropped her camera's lenscap over the edge. There was no way she could get it back, so she left it. When she got home, the lenscap was sitting on the edge of one of the feeding stations, waiting for her. Not only were the birds following and watching over her, they were smart enough to realize she dropped an Important Thing and cared enough to bring it back to her. Source: tetraghost #animais #stories #tiny humans #THIS IS ADORABLE 1,268,331 notes Be kind to animals
leaving: Danimate-mush
 2 Follow
 The BitterSweet Life
 @BitterSweetPod
 Interviewed a little girl this morning that feeds
 crows and they bring her gifts in return.
 Here's her collection.
 tetraghost
 i wish birds brought ME presents
 baelgrave
 No, but think about this.
 The crows she feeds obviously have their own little lives. They go
 about their business, and they spot *pretty thing* or lunique thing/ in
 question. What gets me is that the *first* thing on their minds as
 recipient of this thing is the little girl that feeds them.
 They spot a thing, and immediately must think, "that nice girl with
 delicious foodstuffs must have this to show my gratitude."
 2 kedreeva
 It's actually more than that, though, if you read the articles or watch
 the videos. This has taken place over YEARS- it started with these
 birds following this little girl around because she was a messy eater
 and it has turned into a ritual for the family. They have a water station
 and food stations where they daily set out things for these birds and
 sometimes (but not always), these birds leave 'payment behind for
 the food.
 BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE
 These birds are not just taking food and leaving shinies. These birds
 are watching over this family now. Their lives have become involved.
 These crows are keeping track of this girl and her mother even when
 they are out of the yard. How do we know?
 One of them is a photographer, and one day while she was
 photographing some stuff on a bridge, she dropped her camera's
 lenscap over the edge. There was no way she could get it back, so
 she left it. When she got home, the lenscap was sitting on the edge
 of one of the feeding stations, waiting for her.
 Not only were the birds following and watching over her, they were
 smart enough to realize she dropped an Important Thing and cared
 enough to bring it back to her.
 Source: tetraghost #animais #stories #tiny humans
 #THIS IS ADORABLE
 1,268,331 notes
Be kind to animals

Be kind to animals

leaving: Danimate-mush 2 Follow The BitterSweet Life @BitterSweetPod Interviewed a little girl this morning that feeds crows and they bring her gifts in return. Here's her collection. tetraghost i wish birds brought ME presents baelgrave No, but think about this. The crows she feeds obviously have their own little lives. They go about their business, and they spot *pretty thing* or lunique thing/ in question. What gets me is that the *first* thing on their minds as recipient of this thing is the little girl that feeds them. They spot a thing, and immediately must think, "that nice girl with delicious foodstuffs must have this to show my gratitude." 2 kedreeva It's actually more than that, though, if you read the articles or watch the videos. This has taken place over YEARS- it started with these birds following this little girl around because she was a messy eater and it has turned into a ritual for the family. They have a water station and food stations where they daily set out things for these birds and sometimes (but not always), these birds leave 'payment behind for the food. BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE These birds are not just taking food and leaving shinies. These birds are watching over this family now. Their lives have become involved. These crows are keeping track of this girl and her mother even when they are out of the yard. How do we know? One of them is a photographer, and one day while she was photographing some stuff on a bridge, she dropped her camera's lenscap over the edge. There was no way she could get it back, so she left it. When she got home, the lenscap was sitting on the edge of one of the feeding stations, waiting for her. Not only were the birds following and watching over her, they were smart enough to realize she dropped an Important Thing and cared enough to bring it back to her. Source: tetraghost #animais #stories #tiny humans #THIS IS ADORABLE 1,268,331 notes Be kind to animals
leaving: Danimate-mush
 2 Follow
 The BitterSweet Life
 @BitterSweetPod
 Interviewed a little girl this morning that feeds
 crows and they bring her gifts in return.
 Here's her collection.
 tetraghost
 i wish birds brought ME presents
 baelgrave
 No, but think about this.
 The crows she feeds obviously have their own little lives. They go
 about their business, and they spot *pretty thing* or lunique thing/ in
 question. What gets me is that the *first* thing on their minds as
 recipient of this thing is the little girl that feeds them.
 They spot a thing, and immediately must think, "that nice girl with
 delicious foodstuffs must have this to show my gratitude."
 2 kedreeva
 It's actually more than that, though, if you read the articles or watch
 the videos. This has taken place over YEARS- it started with these
 birds following this little girl around because she was a messy eater
 and it has turned into a ritual for the family. They have a water station
 and food stations where they daily set out things for these birds and
 sometimes (but not always), these birds leave 'payment behind for
 the food.
 BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE
 These birds are not just taking food and leaving shinies. These birds
 are watching over this family now. Their lives have become involved.
 These crows are keeping track of this girl and her mother even when
 they are out of the yard. How do we know?
 One of them is a photographer, and one day while she was
 photographing some stuff on a bridge, she dropped her camera's
 lenscap over the edge. There was no way she could get it back, so
 she left it. When she got home, the lenscap was sitting on the edge
 of one of the feeding stations, waiting for her.
 Not only were the birds following and watching over her, they were
 smart enough to realize she dropped an Important Thing and cared
 enough to bring it back to her.
 Source: tetraghost #animais #stories #tiny humans
 #THIS IS ADORABLE
 1,268,331 notes
Be kind to animals

Be kind to animals

leaving: From the point of view of a... Windows OS X Linux A problem has been detected and windows has bi to your computer. The problem seems to be caused by the followi PAGE_FAULT_IN_NONPAGED_AREA Mac If this is the first time you've seen this sti restart your computer. If this screen appears these steps: Check to make sure any new hardware or softwai If this is a new installation, ask your hardw. for any windows updates you might need. fan If problems continue, disable or remove any n or software. Disable BIOS memory options such If you need to use safe Mode to remove or dis. your computer, press F8 to select Advanced st select Safe Mode. Technical information: se** STOP: 0x00000050 (0XFD3094C2, Ox00000001,0: 1 tall -f vartog/yslog ccre A -laptop diciienti DHOPOFER fron. 16.199.3 Nr-laptop aclient: DHCPSEOLEST on ath. to ss.555.55 port 67 r-laptap oheiient: DHOPRCK roa 66.19.3 r-taptop avai-danon5S ring adaress record tor 1.168.199.166 on ethi. -Tatap aahs-daesan5594) Leaving ulticast roup on inter face eth.1Prd vith J66. N-late avani-danon Interface ethi. IPd no longer relevant for S. MTAnte i-daon55M Jaining e ticast groe on interface etht.1Pr4 vit 9. 167 irlaptap avahi-daeson 4) Hev relevant interface stnd. Pv4 for ales. hir-taptap avahi-donnon : egistering nev address record for 1.18.1s. 187 on et AB DLITAL Win Naptop chetient: bound to J2. 168.1. 167- reneval in 14684 seconds. ir-taptop r-aptap sermel: t 254. 1w printk: 2 nessages suroresged. Tasks 174 total, Iruning Load average ut16/5 fan VIRE ES 0.2962 SERSOUR TER IECond 1532 $ 0.0 0.4 8.01.97 /in/init 412 0.0 O.i .00.00 O 6060 3412 124S 0.0 0.7 8:00.13 O L1760 SOs2 s00 s 0.0 1.I e:00.24 e 1752 - bash nutt pinin eunvt urort bash tinch *- tinch bin/sh unvt -urnt 476 412 S 0.0 0.1 0:00.00 O 900 336 144S 0.0 0.7 9:00.22 0 29664 18372 68S 0.0 2.0 412 S 0.0 0.i 0:00.00 O LLO6 154 4172 5 0.0 1.3 8:00.22 in - bash ৯ Linux Microsoft fan YOU Real programmer use Linux
leaving: From the point
 of view of a...
 Windows
 OS X
 Linux
 A problem has been detected and windows has bi
 to your computer.
 The problem seems to be caused by the followi
 PAGE_FAULT_IN_NONPAGED_AREA
 Mac
 If this is the first time you've seen this sti
 restart your computer. If this screen appears
 these steps:
 Check to make sure any new hardware or softwai
 If this is a new installation, ask your hardw.
 for any windows updates you might need.
 fan
 If problems continue, disable or remove any n
 or software. Disable BIOS memory options such
 If you need to use safe Mode to remove or dis.
 your computer, press F8 to select Advanced st
 select Safe Mode.
 Technical information:
 se** STOP: 0x00000050 (0XFD3094C2, Ox00000001,0:
 1 tall -f vartog/yslog ccre A
 -laptop diciienti DHOPOFER fron. 16.199.3
 Nr-laptop aclient: DHCPSEOLEST on ath. to ss.555.55 port 67
 r-laptap oheiient: DHOPRCK roa 66.19.3
 r-taptop avai-danon5S ring adaress record tor 1.168.199.166 on ethi.
 -Tatap aahs-daesan5594) Leaving ulticast roup on inter face eth.1Prd vith
 J66.
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 MTAnte i-daon55M Jaining e ticast groe on interface etht.1Pr4 vit
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 hir-taptap avahi-donnon : egistering nev address record for 1.18.1s. 187 on et
 AB DLITAL
 Win
 Naptop chetient: bound to J2. 168.1. 167- reneval in 14684 seconds.
 ir-taptop
 r-aptap sermel: t 254. 1w printk: 2 nessages suroresged.
 Tasks 174 total, Iruning
 Load average
 ut16/5
 fan
 VIRE ES
 0.2962
 SERSOUR TER IECond
 1532 $ 0.0 0.4 8.01.97 /in/init
 412 0.0 O.i .00.00
 O 6060 3412 124S 0.0 0.7 8:00.13
 O L1760 SOs2 s00 s 0.0 1.I e:00.24
 e 1752
 - bash
 nutt
 pinin eunvt
 urort
 bash
 tinch
 *- tinch
 bin/sh unvt
 -urnt
 476
 412 S 0.0 0.1 0:00.00
 O 900 336 144S 0.0 0.7 9:00.22
 0 29664 18372 68S 0.0 2.0
 412 S 0.0 0.i 0:00.00
 O LLO6 154 4172 5 0.0 1.3 8:00.22
 in -
 bash
 ৯
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 Microsoft
 fan
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Real programmer use Linux

Real programmer use Linux

leaving: How TO GIVEA DoG A PIL opyrighted Material Sit on the floor in front of your dog. Place smaller dogs on your lap. How to Clean Dog Poop Off a Shoe 2 Grasp the dog's head using your nondominant hand. Be firm but not harsh. Place your hand on top of the muz- zle, with your thumb on one side and fingers on the other. 3 Raise the dog's nose. Squeeze firmly behind the canine or "eye" teeth until the jaw opens Place the pill between the thumb and forefinger of your dominant hand. Use the hand's other three fingers to open the lower jaw further. Use a stick to scrape out poop from beneath the tread of your shoe. 5 Place the pill far back in the dog's mouth. Close the mouth. Tilt up the chin. Keep the mouth closed and stroke the throat to help with swallowing. BGive the dog a treat. BE AWARE! Blowing on the nose may stimulate the dog to swallow. Hiding the pill in peanut butter or some other treat the dog covets is the easiest way to administer a pill However, some canines become quite adept at eating the treat and leaving the pill. Use your band to keep the dog's mouth closed after placing the pill in bis mouth. Drag sneaker though grass or over edged curb. Dip shoe bottom into park fountain Page 27 Dry the dog. Emergency Rain Gear 7 Repeat washing, if necessary. This treatment can irritate a dog's skin, so wait at least 48 hours before bathing a second time. Cut or tear holes in a plastic shopping bag for the dog's paws and head. Use a kitchen- or yard-sized bag for larger breeds. Carefully slip the bag over the dog's head, and ease the front and WARNING! Skunk spray consists of the ejected contents of the animal's anal glands. A freshly sprayed canine can transfer the scent to carpet furniture, and anything else he brushes against. The odor can cause nausea and dizziness in humans. THANK YOU Discard the dog's collar or harness. It will spread skunk odor to anything it touches and isn't worth the extensive offort it would take HAVE A NICE DAY to deodorize it. back paws through the Skunks can carry rabies. Examine your pet for bites holes. How To GIVE A DoG CPR Position the dog on her side. The back is better for barrel-chested breeds. Make sure the dog is on a firm surface. 2 Kneel next to the dog. B Compress the chest. For small dogs, place your palm and fingertips over the ribs at the point where the elbow meets the chest. Compress the chest approximately one inch, twice per second. Alternate every five compressions with one breath. For medium to large dogs, extend your elbows and cup your hands on top of each other. Place hands over the ribs at the point where the dog's elbows meet the chest; then compress it two to three inches, two times per second. Alternate every five com pressions with one breath. For dogs that weigh more than 100 pounds, compress the chest two or three inches once per second, alternating every 10 compressions with a breath. How To GET RiD oF SKUNK ODOR ON YOUR Doc Keep the dog outside. 2 Flush the dog's eyes with water. 4 Check for a hearthbeat. 3 Change your clothes and remove jewelry. The compound used to remove skunk odor 4 ric and, in contact with metals, irritate skin. After one minute, listen for a heartbeat. If none is found, continue with compressions. discolor fab- can 4 Prepare special odor-removing wash. Mix 1 quart of 3 percent hydrogen peroxide with 4 cup of baking soda and 1 teaspoon of liquid dish soap. Ingredients will bubble furiously when combined. This quantity is suf- ficient for a medium-sized dog. A larger canine may need To give artificial respiration, tilt the dog's bead back, place hand around the muzzle, put your mouth over the nose, and breathe into the dog's more. 5 Apply mixture immediately. Use the odor-removing compound while still foaming, as this is when it is most effective. Place dog in bathtub or outdoor tub and work mixture into fur, avoiding mouth and cyes. Leave for several minutes or until the foaming stops, then rinse thoroughly. Reapply if odor persists. nose. K YO A NICE novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07
leaving: How TO GIVEA DoG A PIL opyrighted Material
 Sit on the floor in front of your dog.
 Place smaller dogs on your lap.
 How to Clean Dog Poop Off a Shoe
 2 Grasp the dog's head using your nondominant hand.
 Be firm but not harsh. Place your hand on top of the muz-
 zle, with your thumb on one side and fingers on the other.
 3 Raise the dog's nose.
 Squeeze firmly behind the canine or "eye" teeth until the
 jaw opens
 Place the pill between the thumb and forefinger of your
 dominant hand.
 Use the hand's other three fingers to open the lower jaw
 further.
 Use a stick to scrape out poop from
 beneath the tread of your shoe.
 5 Place the pill far back in the dog's mouth.
 Close the mouth.
 Tilt up the chin.
 Keep the mouth closed and stroke the throat to help with
 swallowing.
 BGive the dog a treat.
 BE AWARE!
 Blowing on the nose may stimulate the dog to swallow.
 Hiding the pill in peanut butter or some other treat the dog covets
 is the easiest way to administer a pill However, some canines
 become quite adept at eating the treat and leaving the pill.
 Use your band to keep the
 dog's mouth closed after
 placing the pill in bis mouth.
 Drag sneaker though grass or over edged curb.
 Dip shoe bottom into park fountain
 Page 27

 Dry the dog.
 Emergency Rain Gear
 7 Repeat washing, if necessary.
 This treatment can irritate a dog's skin, so wait at least 48
 hours before bathing a second time.
 Cut or tear holes in
 a plastic shopping
 bag for the dog's
 paws and head. Use a
 kitchen- or yard-sized
 bag for larger breeds.
 Carefully slip the bag
 over the dog's head,
 and ease the front and
 WARNING!
 Skunk spray consists of the ejected contents of the animal's anal
 glands. A freshly sprayed canine can transfer the scent to carpet
 furniture, and anything else he brushes against. The odor can
 cause nausea and dizziness in humans.
 THANK YOU
 Discard the dog's collar or harness. It will spread skunk odor to
 anything it touches and isn't worth the extensive offort it would take
 HAVE A NICE
 DAY
 to deodorize it.
 back paws through the
 Skunks can carry rabies. Examine your pet for bites
 holes.
 How To GIVE A DoG CPR
 Position the dog on her side.
 The back is better for barrel-chested breeds. Make sure the
 dog is on a firm surface.
 2 Kneel next to the dog.
 B Compress the chest.
 For small dogs, place your palm and fingertips over the ribs
 at the point where the elbow meets the chest. Compress the
 chest approximately one inch, twice per second. Alternate
 every five compressions with one breath. For medium to
 large dogs, extend your elbows and cup your hands on top
 of each other. Place hands over the ribs at the point where
 the dog's elbows meet the chest; then compress it two to
 three inches, two times per second. Alternate every five com
 pressions with one breath. For dogs that weigh more than
 100 pounds, compress the chest two or three inches once
 per second, alternating every 10 compressions with a breath.
 How To GET RiD oF SKUNK
 ODOR ON YOUR Doc
 Keep the dog outside.
 2 Flush the dog's eyes with water.
 4 Check for a hearthbeat.
 3 Change your clothes and remove jewelry.
 The compound used to remove skunk odor 4
 ric and, in contact with metals, irritate skin.
 After one minute, listen for a heartbeat. If none is found,
 continue with compressions.
 discolor fab-
 can
 4 Prepare special odor-removing wash.
 Mix 1 quart of 3 percent hydrogen peroxide with 4 cup of
 baking soda and 1 teaspoon of liquid dish soap. Ingredients
 will bubble furiously when combined. This quantity is suf-
 ficient for a medium-sized dog. A larger canine may need
 To give artificial
 respiration, tilt the dog's
 bead back, place hand
 around the muzzle,
 put your mouth over
 the nose, and breathe
 into the dog's
 more.
 5 Apply mixture immediately.
 Use the odor-removing compound while still foaming, as
 this is when it is most effective. Place dog in bathtub or
 outdoor tub and work mixture into fur, avoiding mouth and
 cyes. Leave for several minutes or until the foaming stops,
 then rinse thoroughly. Reapply if odor persists.
 nose.
 K YO
 A NICE
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07

leaving: How TO GIVEA DoG A PIL opyrighted Material Sit on the floor in front of your dog. Place smaller dogs on your lap. How to Clean Dog Poop Off a Shoe 2 Grasp the dog's head using your nondominant hand. Be firm but not harsh. Place your hand on top of the muz- zle, with your thumb on one side and fingers on the other. 3 Raise the dog's nose. Squeeze firmly behind the canine or "eye" teeth until the jaw opens Place the pill between the thumb and forefinger of your dominant hand. Use the hand's other three fingers to open the lower jaw further. Use a stick to scrape out poop from beneath the tread of your shoe. 5 Place the pill far back in the dog's mouth. Close the mouth. Tilt up the chin. Keep the mouth closed and stroke the throat to help with swallowing. BGive the dog a treat. BE AWARE! Blowing on the nose may stimulate the dog to swallow. Hiding the pill in peanut butter or some other treat the dog covets is the easiest way to administer a pill However, some canines become quite adept at eating the treat and leaving the pill. Use your band to keep the dog's mouth closed after placing the pill in bis mouth. Drag sneaker though grass or over edged curb. Dip shoe bottom into park fountain Page 27 Dry the dog. Emergency Rain Gear 7 Repeat washing, if necessary. This treatment can irritate a dog's skin, so wait at least 48 hours before bathing a second time. Cut or tear holes in a plastic shopping bag for the dog's paws and head. Use a kitchen- or yard-sized bag for larger breeds. Carefully slip the bag over the dog's head, and ease the front and WARNING! Skunk spray consists of the ejected contents of the animal's anal glands. A freshly sprayed canine can transfer the scent to carpet furniture, and anything else he brushes against. The odor can cause nausea and dizziness in humans. THANK YOU Discard the dog's collar or harness. It will spread skunk odor to anything it touches and isn't worth the extensive offort it would take HAVE A NICE DAY to deodorize it. back paws through the Skunks can carry rabies. Examine your pet for bites holes. How To GIVE A DoG CPR Position the dog on her side. The back is better for barrel-chested breeds. Make sure the dog is on a firm surface. 2 Kneel next to the dog. B Compress the chest. For small dogs, place your palm and fingertips over the ribs at the point where the elbow meets the chest. Compress the chest approximately one inch, twice per second. Alternate every five compressions with one breath. For medium to large dogs, extend your elbows and cup your hands on top of each other. Place hands over the ribs at the point where the dog's elbows meet the chest; then compress it two to three inches, two times per second. Alternate every five com pressions with one breath. For dogs that weigh more than 100 pounds, compress the chest two or three inches once per second, alternating every 10 compressions with a breath. How To GET RiD oF SKUNK ODOR ON YOUR Doc Keep the dog outside. 2 Flush the dog's eyes with water. 4 Check for a hearthbeat. 3 Change your clothes and remove jewelry. The compound used to remove skunk odor 4 ric and, in contact with metals, irritate skin. After one minute, listen for a heartbeat. If none is found, continue with compressions. discolor fab- can 4 Prepare special odor-removing wash. Mix 1 quart of 3 percent hydrogen peroxide with 4 cup of baking soda and 1 teaspoon of liquid dish soap. Ingredients will bubble furiously when combined. This quantity is suf- ficient for a medium-sized dog. A larger canine may need To give artificial respiration, tilt the dog's bead back, place hand around the muzzle, put your mouth over the nose, and breathe into the dog's more. 5 Apply mixture immediately. Use the odor-removing compound while still foaming, as this is when it is most effective. Place dog in bathtub or outdoor tub and work mixture into fur, avoiding mouth and cyes. Leave for several minutes or until the foaming stops, then rinse thoroughly. Reapply if odor persists. nose. K YO A NICE novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07
leaving: How TO GIVEA DoG A PIL opyrighted Material
 Sit on the floor in front of your dog.
 Place smaller dogs on your lap.
 How to Clean Dog Poop Off a Shoe
 2 Grasp the dog's head using your nondominant hand.
 Be firm but not harsh. Place your hand on top of the muz-
 zle, with your thumb on one side and fingers on the other.
 3 Raise the dog's nose.
 Squeeze firmly behind the canine or "eye" teeth until the
 jaw opens
 Place the pill between the thumb and forefinger of your
 dominant hand.
 Use the hand's other three fingers to open the lower jaw
 further.
 Use a stick to scrape out poop from
 beneath the tread of your shoe.
 5 Place the pill far back in the dog's mouth.
 Close the mouth.
 Tilt up the chin.
 Keep the mouth closed and stroke the throat to help with
 swallowing.
 BGive the dog a treat.
 BE AWARE!
 Blowing on the nose may stimulate the dog to swallow.
 Hiding the pill in peanut butter or some other treat the dog covets
 is the easiest way to administer a pill However, some canines
 become quite adept at eating the treat and leaving the pill.
 Use your band to keep the
 dog's mouth closed after
 placing the pill in bis mouth.
 Drag sneaker though grass or over edged curb.
 Dip shoe bottom into park fountain
 Page 27

 Dry the dog.
 Emergency Rain Gear
 7 Repeat washing, if necessary.
 This treatment can irritate a dog's skin, so wait at least 48
 hours before bathing a second time.
 Cut or tear holes in
 a plastic shopping
 bag for the dog's
 paws and head. Use a
 kitchen- or yard-sized
 bag for larger breeds.
 Carefully slip the bag
 over the dog's head,
 and ease the front and
 WARNING!
 Skunk spray consists of the ejected contents of the animal's anal
 glands. A freshly sprayed canine can transfer the scent to carpet
 furniture, and anything else he brushes against. The odor can
 cause nausea and dizziness in humans.
 THANK YOU
 Discard the dog's collar or harness. It will spread skunk odor to
 anything it touches and isn't worth the extensive offort it would take
 HAVE A NICE
 DAY
 to deodorize it.
 back paws through the
 Skunks can carry rabies. Examine your pet for bites
 holes.
 How To GIVE A DoG CPR
 Position the dog on her side.
 The back is better for barrel-chested breeds. Make sure the
 dog is on a firm surface.
 2 Kneel next to the dog.
 B Compress the chest.
 For small dogs, place your palm and fingertips over the ribs
 at the point where the elbow meets the chest. Compress the
 chest approximately one inch, twice per second. Alternate
 every five compressions with one breath. For medium to
 large dogs, extend your elbows and cup your hands on top
 of each other. Place hands over the ribs at the point where
 the dog's elbows meet the chest; then compress it two to
 three inches, two times per second. Alternate every five com
 pressions with one breath. For dogs that weigh more than
 100 pounds, compress the chest two or three inches once
 per second, alternating every 10 compressions with a breath.
 How To GET RiD oF SKUNK
 ODOR ON YOUR Doc
 Keep the dog outside.
 2 Flush the dog's eyes with water.
 4 Check for a hearthbeat.
 3 Change your clothes and remove jewelry.
 The compound used to remove skunk odor 4
 ric and, in contact with metals, irritate skin.
 After one minute, listen for a heartbeat. If none is found,
 continue with compressions.
 discolor fab-
 can
 4 Prepare special odor-removing wash.
 Mix 1 quart of 3 percent hydrogen peroxide with 4 cup of
 baking soda and 1 teaspoon of liquid dish soap. Ingredients
 will bubble furiously when combined. This quantity is suf-
 ficient for a medium-sized dog. A larger canine may need
 To give artificial
 respiration, tilt the dog's
 bead back, place hand
 around the muzzle,
 put your mouth over
 the nose, and breathe
 into the dog's
 more.
 5 Apply mixture immediately.
 Use the odor-removing compound while still foaming, as
 this is when it is most effective. Place dog in bathtub or
 outdoor tub and work mixture into fur, avoiding mouth and
 cyes. Leave for several minutes or until the foaming stops,
 then rinse thoroughly. Reapply if odor persists.
 nose.
 K YO
 A NICE
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07

leaving: How TO GIVEA DoG A PIL opyrighted Material Sit on the floor in front of your dog. Place smaller dogs on your lap. How to Clean Dog Poop Off a Shoe 2 Grasp the dog's head using your nondominant hand. Be firm but not harsh. Place your hand on top of the muz- zle, with your thumb on one side and fingers on the other. 3 Raise the dog's nose. Squeeze firmly behind the canine or "eye" teeth until the jaw opens Place the pill between the thumb and forefinger of your dominant hand. Use the hand's other three fingers to open the lower jaw further. Use a stick to scrape out poop from beneath the tread of your shoe. 5 Place the pill far back in the dog's mouth. Close the mouth. Tilt up the chin. Keep the mouth closed and stroke the throat to help with swallowing. BGive the dog a treat. BE AWARE! Blowing on the nose may stimulate the dog to swallow. Hiding the pill in peanut butter or some other treat the dog covets is the easiest way to administer a pill However, some canines become quite adept at eating the treat and leaving the pill. Use your band to keep the dog's mouth closed after placing the pill in bis mouth. Drag sneaker though grass or over edged curb. Dip shoe bottom into park fountain Page 27 Dry the dog. Emergency Rain Gear 7 Repeat washing, if necessary. This treatment can irritate a dog's skin, so wait at least 48 hours before bathing a second time. Cut or tear holes in a plastic shopping bag for the dog's paws and head. Use a kitchen- or yard-sized bag for larger breeds. Carefully slip the bag over the dog's head, and ease the front and WARNING! Skunk spray consists of the ejected contents of the animal's anal glands. A freshly sprayed canine can transfer the scent to carpet furniture, and anything else he brushes against. The odor can cause nausea and dizziness in humans. THANK YOU Discard the dog's collar or harness. It will spread skunk odor to anything it touches and isn't worth the extensive offort it would take HAVE A NICE DAY to deodorize it. back paws through the Skunks can carry rabies. Examine your pet for bites holes. How To GIVE A DoG CPR Position the dog on her side. The back is better for barrel-chested breeds. Make sure the dog is on a firm surface. 2 Kneel next to the dog. B Compress the chest. For small dogs, place your palm and fingertips over the ribs at the point where the elbow meets the chest. Compress the chest approximately one inch, twice per second. Alternate every five compressions with one breath. For medium to large dogs, extend your elbows and cup your hands on top of each other. Place hands over the ribs at the point where the dog's elbows meet the chest; then compress it two to three inches, two times per second. Alternate every five com pressions with one breath. For dogs that weigh more than 100 pounds, compress the chest two or three inches once per second, alternating every 10 compressions with a breath. How To GET RiD oF SKUNK ODOR ON YOUR Doc Keep the dog outside. 2 Flush the dog's eyes with water. 4 Check for a hearthbeat. 3 Change your clothes and remove jewelry. The compound used to remove skunk odor 4 ric and, in contact with metals, irritate skin. After one minute, listen for a heartbeat. If none is found, continue with compressions. discolor fab- can 4 Prepare special odor-removing wash. Mix 1 quart of 3 percent hydrogen peroxide with 4 cup of baking soda and 1 teaspoon of liquid dish soap. Ingredients will bubble furiously when combined. This quantity is suf- ficient for a medium-sized dog. A larger canine may need To give artificial respiration, tilt the dog's bead back, place hand around the muzzle, put your mouth over the nose, and breathe into the dog's more. 5 Apply mixture immediately. Use the odor-removing compound while still foaming, as this is when it is most effective. Place dog in bathtub or outdoor tub and work mixture into fur, avoiding mouth and cyes. Leave for several minutes or until the foaming stops, then rinse thoroughly. Reapply if odor persists. nose. K YO A NICE novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07
leaving: How TO GIVEA DoG A PIL opyrighted Material
 Sit on the floor in front of your dog.
 Place smaller dogs on your lap.
 How to Clean Dog Poop Off a Shoe
 2 Grasp the dog's head using your nondominant hand.
 Be firm but not harsh. Place your hand on top of the muz-
 zle, with your thumb on one side and fingers on the other.
 3 Raise the dog's nose.
 Squeeze firmly behind the canine or "eye" teeth until the
 jaw opens
 Place the pill between the thumb and forefinger of your
 dominant hand.
 Use the hand's other three fingers to open the lower jaw
 further.
 Use a stick to scrape out poop from
 beneath the tread of your shoe.
 5 Place the pill far back in the dog's mouth.
 Close the mouth.
 Tilt up the chin.
 Keep the mouth closed and stroke the throat to help with
 swallowing.
 BGive the dog a treat.
 BE AWARE!
 Blowing on the nose may stimulate the dog to swallow.
 Hiding the pill in peanut butter or some other treat the dog covets
 is the easiest way to administer a pill However, some canines
 become quite adept at eating the treat and leaving the pill.
 Use your band to keep the
 dog's mouth closed after
 placing the pill in bis mouth.
 Drag sneaker though grass or over edged curb.
 Dip shoe bottom into park fountain
 Page 27

 Dry the dog.
 Emergency Rain Gear
 7 Repeat washing, if necessary.
 This treatment can irritate a dog's skin, so wait at least 48
 hours before bathing a second time.
 Cut or tear holes in
 a plastic shopping
 bag for the dog's
 paws and head. Use a
 kitchen- or yard-sized
 bag for larger breeds.
 Carefully slip the bag
 over the dog's head,
 and ease the front and
 WARNING!
 Skunk spray consists of the ejected contents of the animal's anal
 glands. A freshly sprayed canine can transfer the scent to carpet
 furniture, and anything else he brushes against. The odor can
 cause nausea and dizziness in humans.
 THANK YOU
 Discard the dog's collar or harness. It will spread skunk odor to
 anything it touches and isn't worth the extensive offort it would take
 HAVE A NICE
 DAY
 to deodorize it.
 back paws through the
 Skunks can carry rabies. Examine your pet for bites
 holes.
 How To GIVE A DoG CPR
 Position the dog on her side.
 The back is better for barrel-chested breeds. Make sure the
 dog is on a firm surface.
 2 Kneel next to the dog.
 B Compress the chest.
 For small dogs, place your palm and fingertips over the ribs
 at the point where the elbow meets the chest. Compress the
 chest approximately one inch, twice per second. Alternate
 every five compressions with one breath. For medium to
 large dogs, extend your elbows and cup your hands on top
 of each other. Place hands over the ribs at the point where
 the dog's elbows meet the chest; then compress it two to
 three inches, two times per second. Alternate every five com
 pressions with one breath. For dogs that weigh more than
 100 pounds, compress the chest two or three inches once
 per second, alternating every 10 compressions with a breath.
 How To GET RiD oF SKUNK
 ODOR ON YOUR Doc
 Keep the dog outside.
 2 Flush the dog's eyes with water.
 4 Check for a hearthbeat.
 3 Change your clothes and remove jewelry.
 The compound used to remove skunk odor 4
 ric and, in contact with metals, irritate skin.
 After one minute, listen for a heartbeat. If none is found,
 continue with compressions.
 discolor fab-
 can
 4 Prepare special odor-removing wash.
 Mix 1 quart of 3 percent hydrogen peroxide with 4 cup of
 baking soda and 1 teaspoon of liquid dish soap. Ingredients
 will bubble furiously when combined. This quantity is suf-
 ficient for a medium-sized dog. A larger canine may need
 To give artificial
 respiration, tilt the dog's
 bead back, place hand
 around the muzzle,
 put your mouth over
 the nose, and breathe
 into the dog's
 more.
 5 Apply mixture immediately.
 Use the odor-removing compound while still foaming, as
 this is when it is most effective. Place dog in bathtub or
 outdoor tub and work mixture into fur, avoiding mouth and
 cyes. Leave for several minutes or until the foaming stops,
 then rinse thoroughly. Reapply if odor persists.
 nose.
 K YO
 A NICE
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07

leaving: WHY I MUST SEX WITH YOU HAVE ORIGHT NOW ALL THE TIME TONIGHT VERY VERY SOON m freshly shaved. Oljust got a Brazlian. O To keep warm. To stop fighting. To bond emotionally To feel closer to you. Because quickies are cool O My therapist suggested it To act out a fantasy Dljust lost ten pounds Because you feed me. Because I'm tke that To break in the new mattress Djust changed the sheets. Tomorrow's taundry day O To say goodbye. To say I'm sory. To say thank you OI ran out of batteries You complete me. I want to get back together 'm ovulating. OMy endorphins are firing. To forget about my ex. To help you forget your ex. Afternoon delight OI'm leaving the country. O got draftod #relationshipgoals Simon says Practice makes perfect. To carry on the family name Because wo both love cheese. Because 1 started doing yoga. I'm an artist. I'ma rocker. You care about grammar OI have good genes. You look good in jeans It's written in the stars. It's on my to-do list. O I'm tired of swiping left. m tired of swiping tight Oi won't find anything better. Ot'S winwin Oi have a headache. Ive heard it's fun. I'm tipsy aI'm bored OYou're hot You're smart You've got big hands. It would upset my mother. OSomeone dared me. DIcrave attention. DI had a good day. DI had a bad day, Im horny. 3 You smell nice Sin is in, Celibacy is out. O My roommate is out Dl just learned a new technique. DIneed to bum some calories. O You're funny. I'm stupid It'd be my pleasure. It'd be your pleasure. Because I love you It's raining. It's Wednesday Procrastination. DI haven't showered yet. DIjust showered. O I'm naked To celebrate. To boost my self-esteem. To boost my serotonin levels. Because you touch me like that). You're easy. I'm a professional. I've got a motorcycle. I'm about to be famous. You're famous. OI need to release tension. OI need the validation. DI need the dopamine rush To commune with God. To live ife to the fullest. Dl lovehate you. I love/hate myself. OI hate everybody but you. It's been a while. It'l make me popular. Iwant to make a baby. My regular lover is out of town. It's my New Year's resolution, To change the subject. To even the score. As a personal favor. Revirginization isn't working out O1ke screaming "Oh yeah, baby!" You give me butterfies OHabit Because you're the real deal Because I lack self-control. Because you carried me home. I'm on the rebound Bow-chicka-wowwow. a Sol can stop crying. Because I lost my orgasm. Because I'm uniquely flexible. It's the end of the world. The power is out. aYou have tons of tollowers. OI'm finally singlo. We both lean left. We both lean right. To make me feel young To escape reality. O heard you were good. OI'm that good. Because I love wearing condoms. You're fnally singlo. To dust off the cobwebs To improve my rhythm. You got dumped. Oigot dumped. D ike your shoes. Oi can't sleep. Oi got a new job. To make bfe better You alreacy know why I'm avoiding antidepressants. For spirituai transcendence. 'Cause you're my babes, babe OI need some juicy gossip. I'm trying out for a pom. To expand my horizons. To take us to the next level. Im out of chocolate. We're stuck with each other Because I'm online. The happy pills aren't working. I'm tired of oral sex. I'm tired of being a virgin. Ol feel sorry for you. I'm addicted. You drive a nice car To feel whole. OI don't live here. You don't live here It's easier than facing our issues. You clean up real nice. You're a good dancer You're rich O I'm easy. OYour skin is soft O Your hair is soft. Your package looks promising. D There's nothing on TV OThe kids are asleep. OMy parents are out. O My hand's getting tired. OThird base is getting old. The birds and the bees do it. DI have a medical condition To manage stress. Because 1 did the dishes My vocal cords need exercise. The sock is on the doorknob. It's my birthday. It's your birthday. It's someone's birthday. OYou're sexy AF Because our therapist said so DI have excellent stamina Ojust finished the Kama Sutra. You look like you need it. You're a good human. Ive been Kegeling. DI have ten minutes to kill OWe're here and we're queer To break in my new car. O My blowup doll sprung a leak. I'm polyamorous. aI had a dream about you. OMeditation makes me homy. Dljust popped a Viagra. Our bodies fit. To scratch my itch. To increase my resistance. Oike your you-know-what. You've got a big...brain. OWe're human. Why not? WITH SUGAR ON TOP PRETTY PLEASE PLEASE IWON'T BEG YEAR DAY MONTH SIGNATURE "WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD? awesomage: Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist
leaving: WHY I MUST
 SEX WITH YOU
 HAVE
 ORIGHT NOW
 ALL THE TIME
 TONIGHT VERY VERY SOON
 m freshly shaved.
 Oljust got a Brazlian.
 O To keep warm.
 To stop fighting.
 To bond emotionally
 To feel closer to you.
 Because quickies are cool
 O My therapist suggested it
 To act out a fantasy
 Dljust lost ten pounds
 Because you feed me.
 Because I'm tke that
 To break in the new mattress
 Djust changed the sheets.
 Tomorrow's taundry day
 O To say goodbye.
 To say I'm sory.
 To say thank you
 OI ran out of batteries
 You complete me.
 I want to get back together
 'm ovulating.
 OMy endorphins are firing.
 To forget about my ex.
 To help you forget your ex.
 Afternoon delight
 OI'm leaving the country.
 O got draftod
 #relationshipgoals
 Simon says
 Practice makes perfect.
 To carry on the family name
 Because wo both love cheese.
 Because 1 started doing yoga.
 I'm an artist.
 I'ma rocker.
 You care about grammar
 OI have good genes.
 You look good in jeans
 It's written in the stars.
 It's on my to-do list.
 O I'm tired of swiping left.
 m tired of swiping tight
 Oi won't find anything better.
 Ot'S winwin
 Oi have a headache.
 Ive heard it's fun.
 I'm tipsy
 aI'm bored
 OYou're hot
 You're smart
 You've got big hands.
 It would upset my mother.
 OSomeone dared me.
 DIcrave attention.
 DI had a good day.
 DI had a bad day,
 Im horny.
 3 You smell nice
 Sin is in,
 Celibacy is out.
 O My roommate is out
 Dl just learned a new technique.
 DIneed to bum some calories.
 O You're funny.
 I'm stupid
 It'd be my pleasure.
 It'd be your pleasure.
 Because I love you
 It's raining.
 It's Wednesday
 Procrastination.
 DI haven't showered yet.
 DIjust showered.
 O I'm naked
 To celebrate.
 To boost my self-esteem.
 To boost my serotonin levels.
 Because you touch me like that). You're easy.
 I'm a professional.
 I've got a motorcycle.
 I'm about to be famous.
 You're famous.
 OI need to release tension.
 OI need the validation.
 DI need the dopamine rush
 To commune with God.
 To live ife to the fullest.
 Dl lovehate you.
 I love/hate myself.
 OI hate everybody but you.
 It's been a while.
 It'l make me popular.
 Iwant to make a baby.
 My regular lover is out of town.
 It's my New Year's resolution,
 To change the subject.
 To even the score.
 As a personal favor.
 Revirginization isn't working out
 O1ke screaming "Oh yeah, baby!"
 You give me butterfies
 OHabit
 Because you're the real deal
 Because I lack self-control.
 Because you carried me home.
 I'm on the rebound
 Bow-chicka-wowwow.
 a Sol can stop crying.
 Because I lost my orgasm.
 Because I'm uniquely flexible.
 It's the end of the world.
 The power is out.
 aYou have tons of tollowers.
 OI'm finally singlo.
 We both lean left.
 We both lean right.
 To make me feel young
 To escape reality.
 O heard you were good.
 OI'm that good.
 Because I love wearing condoms. You're fnally singlo.
 To dust off the cobwebs
 To improve my rhythm.
 You got dumped.
 Oigot dumped.
 D ike your shoes.
 Oi can't sleep.
 Oi got a new job.
 To make bfe better
 You alreacy know why
 I'm avoiding antidepressants.
 For spirituai transcendence.
 'Cause you're my babes, babe
 OI need some juicy gossip.
 I'm trying out for a pom.
 To expand my horizons.
 To take us to the next level.
 Im out of chocolate.
 We're stuck with each other
 Because I'm online.
 The happy pills aren't working.
 I'm tired of oral sex.
 I'm tired of being a virgin.
 Ol feel sorry for you.
 I'm addicted.
 You drive a nice car
 To feel whole.
 OI don't live here.
 You don't live here
 It's easier than facing our issues.
 You clean up real nice.
 You're a good dancer
 You're rich
 O I'm easy.
 OYour skin is soft
 O Your hair is soft.
 Your package looks promising.
 D There's nothing on TV
 OThe kids are asleep.
 OMy parents are out.
 O My hand's getting tired.
 OThird base is getting old.
 The birds and the bees do it.
 DI have a medical condition
 To manage stress.
 Because 1 did the dishes
 My vocal cords need exercise.
 The sock is on the doorknob.
 It's my birthday.
 It's your birthday.
 It's someone's birthday.
 OYou're sexy AF
 Because our therapist said so
 DI have excellent stamina
 Ojust finished the Kama Sutra.
 You look like you need it.
 You're a good human.
 Ive been Kegeling.
 DI have ten minutes to kill
 OWe're here and we're queer
 To break in my new car.
 O My blowup doll sprung a leak.
 I'm polyamorous.
 aI had a dream about you.
 OMeditation makes me homy.
 Dljust popped a Viagra.
 Our bodies fit.
 To scratch my itch.
 To increase my resistance.
 Oike your you-know-what.
 You've got a big...brain.
 OWe're human.
 Why not?
 WITH SUGAR ON TOP
 PRETTY PLEASE
 PLEASE
 IWON'T BEG
 YEAR
 DAY
 MONTH
 SIGNATURE
 "WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD?
awesomage:

Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist

awesomage: Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist

leaving: WHY I MUST SEX WITH YOU HAVE ORIGHT NOW ALL THE TIME TONIGHT VERY VERY SOON m freshly shaved. Oljust got a Brazlian. O To keep warm. To stop fighting. To bond emotionally To feel closer to you. Because quickies are cool O My therapist suggested it To act out a fantasy Dljust lost ten pounds Because you feed me. Because I'm tke that To break in the new mattress Djust changed the sheets. Tomorrow's taundry day O To say goodbye. To say I'm sory. To say thank you OI ran out of batteries You complete me. I want to get back together 'm ovulating. OMy endorphins are firing. To forget about my ex. To help you forget your ex. Afternoon delight OI'm leaving the country. O got draftod #relationshipgoals Simon says Practice makes perfect. To carry on the family name Because wo both love cheese. Because 1 started doing yoga. I'm an artist. I'ma rocker. You care about grammar OI have good genes. You look good in jeans It's written in the stars. It's on my to-do list. O I'm tired of swiping left. m tired of swiping tight Oi won't find anything better. Ot'S winwin Oi have a headache. Ive heard it's fun. I'm tipsy aI'm bored OYou're hot You're smart You've got big hands. It would upset my mother. OSomeone dared me. DIcrave attention. DI had a good day. DI had a bad day, Im horny. 3 You smell nice Sin is in, Celibacy is out. O My roommate is out Dl just learned a new technique. DIneed to bum some calories. O You're funny. I'm stupid It'd be my pleasure. It'd be your pleasure. Because I love you It's raining. It's Wednesday Procrastination. DI haven't showered yet. DIjust showered. O I'm naked To celebrate. To boost my self-esteem. To boost my serotonin levels. Because you touch me like that). You're easy. I'm a professional. I've got a motorcycle. I'm about to be famous. You're famous. OI need to release tension. OI need the validation. DI need the dopamine rush To commune with God. To live ife to the fullest. Dl lovehate you. I love/hate myself. OI hate everybody but you. It's been a while. It'l make me popular. Iwant to make a baby. My regular lover is out of town. It's my New Year's resolution, To change the subject. To even the score. As a personal favor. Revirginization isn't working out O1ke screaming "Oh yeah, baby!" You give me butterfies OHabit Because you're the real deal Because I lack self-control. Because you carried me home. I'm on the rebound Bow-chicka-wowwow. a Sol can stop crying. Because I lost my orgasm. Because I'm uniquely flexible. It's the end of the world. The power is out. aYou have tons of tollowers. OI'm finally singlo. We both lean left. We both lean right. To make me feel young To escape reality. O heard you were good. OI'm that good. Because I love wearing condoms. You're fnally singlo. To dust off the cobwebs To improve my rhythm. You got dumped. Oigot dumped. D ike your shoes. Oi can't sleep. Oi got a new job. To make bfe better You alreacy know why I'm avoiding antidepressants. For spirituai transcendence. 'Cause you're my babes, babe OI need some juicy gossip. I'm trying out for a pom. To expand my horizons. To take us to the next level. Im out of chocolate. We're stuck with each other Because I'm online. The happy pills aren't working. I'm tired of oral sex. I'm tired of being a virgin. Ol feel sorry for you. I'm addicted. You drive a nice car To feel whole. OI don't live here. You don't live here It's easier than facing our issues. You clean up real nice. You're a good dancer You're rich O I'm easy. OYour skin is soft O Your hair is soft. Your package looks promising. D There's nothing on TV OThe kids are asleep. OMy parents are out. O My hand's getting tired. OThird base is getting old. The birds and the bees do it. DI have a medical condition To manage stress. Because 1 did the dishes My vocal cords need exercise. The sock is on the doorknob. It's my birthday. It's your birthday. It's someone's birthday. OYou're sexy AF Because our therapist said so DI have excellent stamina Ojust finished the Kama Sutra. You look like you need it. You're a good human. Ive been Kegeling. DI have ten minutes to kill OWe're here and we're queer To break in my new car. O My blowup doll sprung a leak. I'm polyamorous. aI had a dream about you. OMeditation makes me homy. Dljust popped a Viagra. Our bodies fit. To scratch my itch. To increase my resistance. Oike your you-know-what. You've got a big...brain. OWe're human. Why not? WITH SUGAR ON TOP PRETTY PLEASE PLEASE IWON'T BEG YEAR DAY MONTH SIGNATURE "WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD? awesomage: Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist
leaving: WHY I MUST
 SEX WITH YOU
 HAVE
 ORIGHT NOW
 ALL THE TIME
 TONIGHT VERY VERY SOON
 m freshly shaved.
 Oljust got a Brazlian.
 O To keep warm.
 To stop fighting.
 To bond emotionally
 To feel closer to you.
 Because quickies are cool
 O My therapist suggested it
 To act out a fantasy
 Dljust lost ten pounds
 Because you feed me.
 Because I'm tke that
 To break in the new mattress
 Djust changed the sheets.
 Tomorrow's taundry day
 O To say goodbye.
 To say I'm sory.
 To say thank you
 OI ran out of batteries
 You complete me.
 I want to get back together
 'm ovulating.
 OMy endorphins are firing.
 To forget about my ex.
 To help you forget your ex.
 Afternoon delight
 OI'm leaving the country.
 O got draftod
 #relationshipgoals
 Simon says
 Practice makes perfect.
 To carry on the family name
 Because wo both love cheese.
 Because 1 started doing yoga.
 I'm an artist.
 I'ma rocker.
 You care about grammar
 OI have good genes.
 You look good in jeans
 It's written in the stars.
 It's on my to-do list.
 O I'm tired of swiping left.
 m tired of swiping tight
 Oi won't find anything better.
 Ot'S winwin
 Oi have a headache.
 Ive heard it's fun.
 I'm tipsy
 aI'm bored
 OYou're hot
 You're smart
 You've got big hands.
 It would upset my mother.
 OSomeone dared me.
 DIcrave attention.
 DI had a good day.
 DI had a bad day,
 Im horny.
 3 You smell nice
 Sin is in,
 Celibacy is out.
 O My roommate is out
 Dl just learned a new technique.
 DIneed to bum some calories.
 O You're funny.
 I'm stupid
 It'd be my pleasure.
 It'd be your pleasure.
 Because I love you
 It's raining.
 It's Wednesday
 Procrastination.
 DI haven't showered yet.
 DIjust showered.
 O I'm naked
 To celebrate.
 To boost my self-esteem.
 To boost my serotonin levels.
 Because you touch me like that). You're easy.
 I'm a professional.
 I've got a motorcycle.
 I'm about to be famous.
 You're famous.
 OI need to release tension.
 OI need the validation.
 DI need the dopamine rush
 To commune with God.
 To live ife to the fullest.
 Dl lovehate you.
 I love/hate myself.
 OI hate everybody but you.
 It's been a while.
 It'l make me popular.
 Iwant to make a baby.
 My regular lover is out of town.
 It's my New Year's resolution,
 To change the subject.
 To even the score.
 As a personal favor.
 Revirginization isn't working out
 O1ke screaming "Oh yeah, baby!"
 You give me butterfies
 OHabit
 Because you're the real deal
 Because I lack self-control.
 Because you carried me home.
 I'm on the rebound
 Bow-chicka-wowwow.
 a Sol can stop crying.
 Because I lost my orgasm.
 Because I'm uniquely flexible.
 It's the end of the world.
 The power is out.
 aYou have tons of tollowers.
 OI'm finally singlo.
 We both lean left.
 We both lean right.
 To make me feel young
 To escape reality.
 O heard you were good.
 OI'm that good.
 Because I love wearing condoms. You're fnally singlo.
 To dust off the cobwebs
 To improve my rhythm.
 You got dumped.
 Oigot dumped.
 D ike your shoes.
 Oi can't sleep.
 Oi got a new job.
 To make bfe better
 You alreacy know why
 I'm avoiding antidepressants.
 For spirituai transcendence.
 'Cause you're my babes, babe
 OI need some juicy gossip.
 I'm trying out for a pom.
 To expand my horizons.
 To take us to the next level.
 Im out of chocolate.
 We're stuck with each other
 Because I'm online.
 The happy pills aren't working.
 I'm tired of oral sex.
 I'm tired of being a virgin.
 Ol feel sorry for you.
 I'm addicted.
 You drive a nice car
 To feel whole.
 OI don't live here.
 You don't live here
 It's easier than facing our issues.
 You clean up real nice.
 You're a good dancer
 You're rich
 O I'm easy.
 OYour skin is soft
 O Your hair is soft.
 Your package looks promising.
 D There's nothing on TV
 OThe kids are asleep.
 OMy parents are out.
 O My hand's getting tired.
 OThird base is getting old.
 The birds and the bees do it.
 DI have a medical condition
 To manage stress.
 Because 1 did the dishes
 My vocal cords need exercise.
 The sock is on the doorknob.
 It's my birthday.
 It's your birthday.
 It's someone's birthday.
 OYou're sexy AF
 Because our therapist said so
 DI have excellent stamina
 Ojust finished the Kama Sutra.
 You look like you need it.
 You're a good human.
 Ive been Kegeling.
 DI have ten minutes to kill
 OWe're here and we're queer
 To break in my new car.
 O My blowup doll sprung a leak.
 I'm polyamorous.
 aI had a dream about you.
 OMeditation makes me homy.
 Dljust popped a Viagra.
 Our bodies fit.
 To scratch my itch.
 To increase my resistance.
 Oike your you-know-what.
 You've got a big...brain.
 OWe're human.
 Why not?
 WITH SUGAR ON TOP
 PRETTY PLEASE
 PLEASE
 IWON'T BEG
 YEAR
 DAY
 MONTH
 SIGNATURE
 "WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD?
awesomage:

Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist

awesomage: Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist

leaving: Told my wife to stop leaving hair in the shower or she’s regret it.
leaving: Told my wife to stop leaving hair in the shower or she’s regret it.

Told my wife to stop leaving hair in the shower or she’s regret it.

leaving: WHY I MUST SEX WITH YOU HAVE ORIGHT NOW ALL THE TIME TONIGHT VERY VERY SOON m freshly shaved. Oljust got a Brazlian. O To keep warm. To stop fighting. To bond emotionally To feel closer to you. Because quickies are cool O My therapist suggested it To act out a fantasy Dljust lost ten pounds Because you feed me. Because I'm tke that To break in the new mattress Djust changed the sheets. Tomorrow's taundry day O To say goodbye. To say I'm sory. To say thank you OI ran out of batteries You complete me. I want to get back together 'm ovulating. OMy endorphins are firing. To forget about my ex. To help you forget your ex. Afternoon delight OI'm leaving the country. O got draftod #relationshipgoals Simon says Practice makes perfect. To carry on the family name Because wo both love cheese. Because 1 started doing yoga. I'm an artist. I'ma rocker. You care about grammar OI have good genes. You look good in jeans It's written in the stars. It's on my to-do list. O I'm tired of swiping left. m tired of swiping tight Oi won't find anything better. Ot'S winwin Oi have a headache. Ive heard it's fun. I'm tipsy aI'm bored OYou're hot You're smart You've got big hands. It would upset my mother. OSomeone dared me. DIcrave attention. DI had a good day. DI had a bad day, Im horny. 3 You smell nice Sin is in, Celibacy is out. O My roommate is out Dl just learned a new technique. DIneed to bum some calories. O You're funny. I'm stupid It'd be my pleasure. It'd be your pleasure. Because I love you It's raining. It's Wednesday Procrastination. DI haven't showered yet. DIjust showered. O I'm naked To celebrate. To boost my self-esteem. To boost my serotonin levels. Because you touch me like that). You're easy. I'm a professional. I've got a motorcycle. I'm about to be famous. You're famous. OI need to release tension. OI need the validation. DI need the dopamine rush To commune with God. To live ife to the fullest. Dl lovehate you. I love/hate myself. OI hate everybody but you. It's been a while. It'l make me popular. Iwant to make a baby. My regular lover is out of town. It's my New Year's resolution, To change the subject. To even the score. As a personal favor. Revirginization isn't working out O1ke screaming "Oh yeah, baby!" You give me butterfies OHabit Because you're the real deal Because I lack self-control. Because you carried me home. I'm on the rebound Bow-chicka-wowwow. a Sol can stop crying. Because I lost my orgasm. Because I'm uniquely flexible. It's the end of the world. The power is out. aYou have tons of tollowers. OI'm finally singlo. We both lean left. We both lean right. To make me feel young To escape reality. O heard you were good. OI'm that good. Because I love wearing condoms. You're fnally singlo. To dust off the cobwebs To improve my rhythm. You got dumped. Oigot dumped. D ike your shoes. Oi can't sleep. Oi got a new job. To make bfe better You alreacy know why I'm avoiding antidepressants. For spirituai transcendence. 'Cause you're my babes, babe OI need some juicy gossip. I'm trying out for a pom. To expand my horizons. To take us to the next level. Im out of chocolate. We're stuck with each other Because I'm online. The happy pills aren't working. I'm tired of oral sex. I'm tired of being a virgin. Ol feel sorry for you. I'm addicted. You drive a nice car To feel whole. OI don't live here. You don't live here It's easier than facing our issues. You clean up real nice. You're a good dancer You're rich O I'm easy. OYour skin is soft O Your hair is soft. Your package looks promising. D There's nothing on TV OThe kids are asleep. OMy parents are out. O My hand's getting tired. OThird base is getting old. The birds and the bees do it. DI have a medical condition To manage stress. Because 1 did the dishes My vocal cords need exercise. The sock is on the doorknob. It's my birthday. It's your birthday. It's someone's birthday. OYou're sexy AF Because our therapist said so DI have excellent stamina Ojust finished the Kama Sutra. You look like you need it. You're a good human. Ive been Kegeling. DI have ten minutes to kill OWe're here and we're queer To break in my new car. O My blowup doll sprung a leak. I'm polyamorous. aI had a dream about you. OMeditation makes me homy. Dljust popped a Viagra. Our bodies fit. To scratch my itch. To increase my resistance. Oike your you-know-what. You've got a big...brain. OWe're human. Why not? WITH SUGAR ON TOP PRETTY PLEASE PLEASE IWON'T BEG YEAR DAY MONTH SIGNATURE "WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD? awesomage: Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist
leaving: WHY I MUST
 SEX WITH YOU
 HAVE
 ORIGHT NOW
 ALL THE TIME
 TONIGHT VERY VERY SOON
 m freshly shaved.
 Oljust got a Brazlian.
 O To keep warm.
 To stop fighting.
 To bond emotionally
 To feel closer to you.
 Because quickies are cool
 O My therapist suggested it
 To act out a fantasy
 Dljust lost ten pounds
 Because you feed me.
 Because I'm tke that
 To break in the new mattress
 Djust changed the sheets.
 Tomorrow's taundry day
 O To say goodbye.
 To say I'm sory.
 To say thank you
 OI ran out of batteries
 You complete me.
 I want to get back together
 'm ovulating.
 OMy endorphins are firing.
 To forget about my ex.
 To help you forget your ex.
 Afternoon delight
 OI'm leaving the country.
 O got draftod
 #relationshipgoals
 Simon says
 Practice makes perfect.
 To carry on the family name
 Because wo both love cheese.
 Because 1 started doing yoga.
 I'm an artist.
 I'ma rocker.
 You care about grammar
 OI have good genes.
 You look good in jeans
 It's written in the stars.
 It's on my to-do list.
 O I'm tired of swiping left.
 m tired of swiping tight
 Oi won't find anything better.
 Ot'S winwin
 Oi have a headache.
 Ive heard it's fun.
 I'm tipsy
 aI'm bored
 OYou're hot
 You're smart
 You've got big hands.
 It would upset my mother.
 OSomeone dared me.
 DIcrave attention.
 DI had a good day.
 DI had a bad day,
 Im horny.
 3 You smell nice
 Sin is in,
 Celibacy is out.
 O My roommate is out
 Dl just learned a new technique.
 DIneed to bum some calories.
 O You're funny.
 I'm stupid
 It'd be my pleasure.
 It'd be your pleasure.
 Because I love you
 It's raining.
 It's Wednesday
 Procrastination.
 DI haven't showered yet.
 DIjust showered.
 O I'm naked
 To celebrate.
 To boost my self-esteem.
 To boost my serotonin levels.
 Because you touch me like that). You're easy.
 I'm a professional.
 I've got a motorcycle.
 I'm about to be famous.
 You're famous.
 OI need to release tension.
 OI need the validation.
 DI need the dopamine rush
 To commune with God.
 To live ife to the fullest.
 Dl lovehate you.
 I love/hate myself.
 OI hate everybody but you.
 It's been a while.
 It'l make me popular.
 Iwant to make a baby.
 My regular lover is out of town.
 It's my New Year's resolution,
 To change the subject.
 To even the score.
 As a personal favor.
 Revirginization isn't working out
 O1ke screaming "Oh yeah, baby!"
 You give me butterfies
 OHabit
 Because you're the real deal
 Because I lack self-control.
 Because you carried me home.
 I'm on the rebound
 Bow-chicka-wowwow.
 a Sol can stop crying.
 Because I lost my orgasm.
 Because I'm uniquely flexible.
 It's the end of the world.
 The power is out.
 aYou have tons of tollowers.
 OI'm finally singlo.
 We both lean left.
 We both lean right.
 To make me feel young
 To escape reality.
 O heard you were good.
 OI'm that good.
 Because I love wearing condoms. You're fnally singlo.
 To dust off the cobwebs
 To improve my rhythm.
 You got dumped.
 Oigot dumped.
 D ike your shoes.
 Oi can't sleep.
 Oi got a new job.
 To make bfe better
 You alreacy know why
 I'm avoiding antidepressants.
 For spirituai transcendence.
 'Cause you're my babes, babe
 OI need some juicy gossip.
 I'm trying out for a pom.
 To expand my horizons.
 To take us to the next level.
 Im out of chocolate.
 We're stuck with each other
 Because I'm online.
 The happy pills aren't working.
 I'm tired of oral sex.
 I'm tired of being a virgin.
 Ol feel sorry for you.
 I'm addicted.
 You drive a nice car
 To feel whole.
 OI don't live here.
 You don't live here
 It's easier than facing our issues.
 You clean up real nice.
 You're a good dancer
 You're rich
 O I'm easy.
 OYour skin is soft
 O Your hair is soft.
 Your package looks promising.
 D There's nothing on TV
 OThe kids are asleep.
 OMy parents are out.
 O My hand's getting tired.
 OThird base is getting old.
 The birds and the bees do it.
 DI have a medical condition
 To manage stress.
 Because 1 did the dishes
 My vocal cords need exercise.
 The sock is on the doorknob.
 It's my birthday.
 It's your birthday.
 It's someone's birthday.
 OYou're sexy AF
 Because our therapist said so
 DI have excellent stamina
 Ojust finished the Kama Sutra.
 You look like you need it.
 You're a good human.
 Ive been Kegeling.
 DI have ten minutes to kill
 OWe're here and we're queer
 To break in my new car.
 O My blowup doll sprung a leak.
 I'm polyamorous.
 aI had a dream about you.
 OMeditation makes me homy.
 Dljust popped a Viagra.
 Our bodies fit.
 To scratch my itch.
 To increase my resistance.
 Oike your you-know-what.
 You've got a big...brain.
 OWe're human.
 Why not?
 WITH SUGAR ON TOP
 PRETTY PLEASE
 PLEASE
 IWON'T BEG
 YEAR
 DAY
 MONTH
 SIGNATURE
 "WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD?
awesomage:

Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist

awesomage: Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist

leaving: WHY I MUST SEX WITH YOU HAVE ORIGHT NOW ALL THE TIME TONIGHT VERY VERY SOON m freshly shaved. Oljust got a Brazlian. O To keep warm. To stop fighting. To bond emotionally To feel closer to you. Because quickies are cool O My therapist suggested it To act out a fantasy Dljust lost ten pounds Because you feed me. Because I'm tke that To break in the new mattress Djust changed the sheets. Tomorrow's taundry day O To say goodbye. To say I'm sory. To say thank you OI ran out of batteries You complete me. I want to get back together 'm ovulating. OMy endorphins are firing. To forget about my ex. To help you forget your ex. Afternoon delight OI'm leaving the country. O got draftod #relationshipgoals Simon says Practice makes perfect. To carry on the family name Because wo both love cheese. Because 1 started doing yoga. I'm an artist. I'ma rocker. You care about grammar OI have good genes. You look good in jeans It's written in the stars. It's on my to-do list. O I'm tired of swiping left. m tired of swiping tight Oi won't find anything better. Ot'S winwin Oi have a headache. Ive heard it's fun. I'm tipsy aI'm bored OYou're hot You're smart You've got big hands. It would upset my mother. OSomeone dared me. DIcrave attention. DI had a good day. DI had a bad day, Im horny. 3 You smell nice Sin is in, Celibacy is out. O My roommate is out Dl just learned a new technique. DIneed to bum some calories. O You're funny. I'm stupid It'd be my pleasure. It'd be your pleasure. Because I love you It's raining. It's Wednesday Procrastination. DI haven't showered yet. DIjust showered. O I'm naked To celebrate. To boost my self-esteem. To boost my serotonin levels. Because you touch me like that). You're easy. I'm a professional. I've got a motorcycle. I'm about to be famous. You're famous. OI need to release tension. OI need the validation. DI need the dopamine rush To commune with God. To live ife to the fullest. Dl lovehate you. I love/hate myself. OI hate everybody but you. It's been a while. It'l make me popular. Iwant to make a baby. My regular lover is out of town. It's my New Year's resolution, To change the subject. To even the score. As a personal favor. Revirginization isn't working out O1ke screaming "Oh yeah, baby!" You give me butterfies OHabit Because you're the real deal Because I lack self-control. Because you carried me home. I'm on the rebound Bow-chicka-wowwow. a Sol can stop crying. Because I lost my orgasm. Because I'm uniquely flexible. It's the end of the world. The power is out. aYou have tons of tollowers. OI'm finally singlo. We both lean left. We both lean right. To make me feel young To escape reality. O heard you were good. OI'm that good. Because I love wearing condoms. You're fnally singlo. To dust off the cobwebs To improve my rhythm. You got dumped. Oigot dumped. D ike your shoes. Oi can't sleep. Oi got a new job. To make bfe better You alreacy know why I'm avoiding antidepressants. For spirituai transcendence. 'Cause you're my babes, babe OI need some juicy gossip. I'm trying out for a pom. To expand my horizons. To take us to the next level. Im out of chocolate. We're stuck with each other Because I'm online. The happy pills aren't working. I'm tired of oral sex. I'm tired of being a virgin. Ol feel sorry for you. I'm addicted. You drive a nice car To feel whole. OI don't live here. You don't live here It's easier than facing our issues. You clean up real nice. You're a good dancer You're rich O I'm easy. OYour skin is soft O Your hair is soft. Your package looks promising. D There's nothing on TV OThe kids are asleep. OMy parents are out. O My hand's getting tired. OThird base is getting old. The birds and the bees do it. DI have a medical condition To manage stress. Because 1 did the dishes My vocal cords need exercise. The sock is on the doorknob. It's my birthday. It's your birthday. It's someone's birthday. OYou're sexy AF Because our therapist said so DI have excellent stamina Ojust finished the Kama Sutra. You look like you need it. You're a good human. Ive been Kegeling. DI have ten minutes to kill OWe're here and we're queer To break in my new car. O My blowup doll sprung a leak. I'm polyamorous. aI had a dream about you. OMeditation makes me homy. Dljust popped a Viagra. Our bodies fit. To scratch my itch. To increase my resistance. Oike your you-know-what. You've got a big...brain. OWe're human. Why not? WITH SUGAR ON TOP PRETTY PLEASE PLEASE IWON'T BEG YEAR DAY MONTH SIGNATURE "WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD? awesomage: Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist
leaving: WHY I MUST
 SEX WITH YOU
 HAVE
 ORIGHT NOW
 ALL THE TIME
 TONIGHT VERY VERY SOON
 m freshly shaved.
 Oljust got a Brazlian.
 O To keep warm.
 To stop fighting.
 To bond emotionally
 To feel closer to you.
 Because quickies are cool
 O My therapist suggested it
 To act out a fantasy
 Dljust lost ten pounds
 Because you feed me.
 Because I'm tke that
 To break in the new mattress
 Djust changed the sheets.
 Tomorrow's taundry day
 O To say goodbye.
 To say I'm sory.
 To say thank you
 OI ran out of batteries
 You complete me.
 I want to get back together
 'm ovulating.
 OMy endorphins are firing.
 To forget about my ex.
 To help you forget your ex.
 Afternoon delight
 OI'm leaving the country.
 O got draftod
 #relationshipgoals
 Simon says
 Practice makes perfect.
 To carry on the family name
 Because wo both love cheese.
 Because 1 started doing yoga.
 I'm an artist.
 I'ma rocker.
 You care about grammar
 OI have good genes.
 You look good in jeans
 It's written in the stars.
 It's on my to-do list.
 O I'm tired of swiping left.
 m tired of swiping tight
 Oi won't find anything better.
 Ot'S winwin
 Oi have a headache.
 Ive heard it's fun.
 I'm tipsy
 aI'm bored
 OYou're hot
 You're smart
 You've got big hands.
 It would upset my mother.
 OSomeone dared me.
 DIcrave attention.
 DI had a good day.
 DI had a bad day,
 Im horny.
 3 You smell nice
 Sin is in,
 Celibacy is out.
 O My roommate is out
 Dl just learned a new technique.
 DIneed to bum some calories.
 O You're funny.
 I'm stupid
 It'd be my pleasure.
 It'd be your pleasure.
 Because I love you
 It's raining.
 It's Wednesday
 Procrastination.
 DI haven't showered yet.
 DIjust showered.
 O I'm naked
 To celebrate.
 To boost my self-esteem.
 To boost my serotonin levels.
 Because you touch me like that). You're easy.
 I'm a professional.
 I've got a motorcycle.
 I'm about to be famous.
 You're famous.
 OI need to release tension.
 OI need the validation.
 DI need the dopamine rush
 To commune with God.
 To live ife to the fullest.
 Dl lovehate you.
 I love/hate myself.
 OI hate everybody but you.
 It's been a while.
 It'l make me popular.
 Iwant to make a baby.
 My regular lover is out of town.
 It's my New Year's resolution,
 To change the subject.
 To even the score.
 As a personal favor.
 Revirginization isn't working out
 O1ke screaming "Oh yeah, baby!"
 You give me butterfies
 OHabit
 Because you're the real deal
 Because I lack self-control.
 Because you carried me home.
 I'm on the rebound
 Bow-chicka-wowwow.
 a Sol can stop crying.
 Because I lost my orgasm.
 Because I'm uniquely flexible.
 It's the end of the world.
 The power is out.
 aYou have tons of tollowers.
 OI'm finally singlo.
 We both lean left.
 We both lean right.
 To make me feel young
 To escape reality.
 O heard you were good.
 OI'm that good.
 Because I love wearing condoms. You're fnally singlo.
 To dust off the cobwebs
 To improve my rhythm.
 You got dumped.
 Oigot dumped.
 D ike your shoes.
 Oi can't sleep.
 Oi got a new job.
 To make bfe better
 You alreacy know why
 I'm avoiding antidepressants.
 For spirituai transcendence.
 'Cause you're my babes, babe
 OI need some juicy gossip.
 I'm trying out for a pom.
 To expand my horizons.
 To take us to the next level.
 Im out of chocolate.
 We're stuck with each other
 Because I'm online.
 The happy pills aren't working.
 I'm tired of oral sex.
 I'm tired of being a virgin.
 Ol feel sorry for you.
 I'm addicted.
 You drive a nice car
 To feel whole.
 OI don't live here.
 You don't live here
 It's easier than facing our issues.
 You clean up real nice.
 You're a good dancer
 You're rich
 O I'm easy.
 OYour skin is soft
 O Your hair is soft.
 Your package looks promising.
 D There's nothing on TV
 OThe kids are asleep.
 OMy parents are out.
 O My hand's getting tired.
 OThird base is getting old.
 The birds and the bees do it.
 DI have a medical condition
 To manage stress.
 Because 1 did the dishes
 My vocal cords need exercise.
 The sock is on the doorknob.
 It's my birthday.
 It's your birthday.
 It's someone's birthday.
 OYou're sexy AF
 Because our therapist said so
 DI have excellent stamina
 Ojust finished the Kama Sutra.
 You look like you need it.
 You're a good human.
 Ive been Kegeling.
 DI have ten minutes to kill
 OWe're here and we're queer
 To break in my new car.
 O My blowup doll sprung a leak.
 I'm polyamorous.
 aI had a dream about you.
 OMeditation makes me homy.
 Dljust popped a Viagra.
 Our bodies fit.
 To scratch my itch.
 To increase my resistance.
 Oike your you-know-what.
 You've got a big...brain.
 OWe're human.
 Why not?
 WITH SUGAR ON TOP
 PRETTY PLEASE
 PLEASE
 IWON'T BEG
 YEAR
 DAY
 MONTH
 SIGNATURE
 "WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD?
awesomage:

Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist

awesomage: Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist