Knocked
Knocked

Knocked

A Little
A Little

A Little

Dont You
Dont You

Dont You

The One
The One

The One

The Door
The Door

The Door

Holly
Holly

Holly

Hollie
Hollie

Hollie

Fuck Out
Fuck Out

Fuck Out

Becaus
Becaus

Becaus

Aloner
Aloner

Aloner

🔥 | Latest

Bodies , Chipotle, and Girl Scouts: PS Products A 10 PS Products Knuckle Blaster is a 950,000V Stun Gun with Batteries & Magnetic Leather Holster ea List Price: $69.99 Price: $62.54 Victory! By tdoog- May 5, 2013 I purchased this after I was confronted by punks demanding that I hand over my money. I'm a relatively fit guy, but I was no match for them. That is when I realized that I need to protect myself. The day after I bought this product I went to the very same Wal-Mart parking lot when I was first mugged. I approached the group of hooligans standing outside the entrance, concealing my secret weapon. some I cooly asked "Remember me?" One of them looked up and said, "Have you com back to buy some Samoas or Thin Mints? My Gi Scout Troop needs to raise more money!" I replied with "you're not taking my money this time". "But sir, they're delicious!", she said. I whipped out my Knuckle Blaster Stun Gun hand and shouted "WRONG MOVE B****" The five giri scouts ran away screaming. As I pounded my chest in victory, I accidentally activated the stun gun and applied 950,000 Volts to my right nipple. I woke up 4 hours later to the sound of heavy footsteps. Those Girl Scouts had brought their fathers. But I was ready. I lunged at the largest one with a cry of "RAGGLE FRAGGLE!!!" and hit him in the stomach. He hit the ground harder than a fat kid on a jungle gym. As the others began to circle around me,I changed techniques. Holding both of my hands in tight fists, I rased my arms to my sides and initiated the helicopter spin. They all backed off, fearing my impressive RPM. After a while I started getting dizzy, and one of the fathers decided to try to tackle me. As he ran to me stood there, dizzy and queasy; time was going real slow. Then I remembered. I had eaten lunch at Chipotle and the burrito was fighting its way back up my stomach. I tuned toward my enemy and launched a stream of projectile vomit at him, knocking him to the ground. Then I started singing "Let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the.... FLOOO00RRR!!!" I grabbed my Knuckle Blasher Stun Gun and shoved it into my mouth, running headfirst at my foes, electrocuting them with my teeth. Eventually they were all unconscious, and I walked home victorious. 2,144 of 2,383 people found this review helpful worth the read
Bodies , Chipotle, and Girl Scouts: PS Products
 A 10
 PS Products Knuckle Blaster is a 950,000V Stun Gun
 with Batteries & Magnetic Leather Holster
 ea
 List Price: $69.99
 Price: $62.54
 Victory!
 By tdoog- May 5, 2013
 I purchased this after I was confronted by
 punks demanding that I hand over my money. I'm
 a relatively fit guy, but I was no match for them.
 That is when I realized that I need to protect
 myself. The day after I bought this product I went
 to the very same Wal-Mart parking lot when I was
 first mugged. I approached the group of
 hooligans standing outside the entrance,
 concealing my secret weapon.
 some
 I cooly asked "Remember me?"
 One of them looked up and said, "Have you com
 back to buy some Samoas or Thin Mints? My Gi
 Scout Troop needs to raise more money!"
 I replied with "you're not taking my money this
 time". "But sir, they're delicious!", she said.
 I whipped out my Knuckle Blaster Stun Gun hand
 and shouted "WRONG MOVE B****" The five giri
 scouts ran away screaming.
 As I pounded my chest in victory, I accidentally
 activated the stun gun and applied 950,000 Volts
 to my right nipple. I woke up 4 hours later to the
 sound of heavy footsteps. Those Girl Scouts had
 brought their fathers. But I was ready. I lunged at
 the largest one with a cry of "RAGGLE
 FRAGGLE!!!" and hit him in the stomach. He hit
 the ground harder than a fat kid on a jungle gym.
 As the others began to circle around me,I
 changed techniques. Holding both of my hands
 in tight fists, I rased my arms to my sides and
 initiated the helicopter spin. They all backed off,
 fearing my impressive RPM. After a while I
 started getting dizzy, and one of the fathers
 decided to try to tackle me. As he ran to me stood
 there, dizzy and queasy; time was going real
 slow. Then I remembered. I had eaten lunch at
 Chipotle and the burrito was fighting its way back
 up my stomach.
 I tuned toward my enemy and launched a stream
 of projectile vomit at him, knocking him to the
 ground. Then I started singing "Let the bodies hit
 the floor, let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies
 hit the.... FLOOO00RRR!!!"
 I grabbed my Knuckle Blasher Stun Gun and
 shoved it into my mouth, running headfirst at my
 foes, electrocuting them with my teeth.
 Eventually they were all unconscious, and I
 walked home victorious.
 2,144 of 2,383 people found this review helpful
worth the read

worth the read

Love, Saw, and Sex: Brave jogger dubbed a hero after fighting off sex beast who was attempting to rape girl in Glasgow park 07 July 2014 0857 AM By Paul O'Hare ABDULL Oun was running in Kelvingrove Park when he heard the victim's screams and sprinted to the scene before knocking out the beast with a flying kick. urbanfantasyinspiration: supreme-leader-stoat: mylifeisafairy-tale: satansbitontheside: bathedinflames: nerdyandyouknowit: cheerfulmetaphysics: tsamthepoet: I hardly see any heroic posts about Muslims on here, so here you go. I love that it takes the time to specify that his attack of choice was a flying kick The hero the world needs I remember this. But I feel we’re missing some key points. When it happened, he was out jogging with his puppy: He heard screams and sprinted towards them. He jumped a fence, saw a man pinning a woman down and immediately fly-kicked him in the face, knocking him out. He then gave the woman his jacket because her dress was ripped and got her a taxi home. She only managed to get in contact with him and tell the papers cause she later found his driver’s license in the pocket of the jacket. “If I see a person in danger then I will intervene. I would not want to ignore it and then read the next day that a woman had been raped or murdered.” And his message to the attacker: “He is a coward and a man with no morals. I won’t forget his face.” Glaswegians will always fly kick someone I swear. Good on him. Something else I love about this is that they’re calling the rapist a “beast” because that is an appropriate word to use for someone who would do something that horrible instead of showing him any form of sympathy or humanizing him What a lad
Love, Saw, and Sex: Brave jogger dubbed a hero
 after fighting off sex beast
 who was attempting to rape
 girl in Glasgow park
 07 July 2014 0857 AM By Paul O'Hare
 ABDULL Oun was running in
 Kelvingrove Park when he heard the
 victim's screams and sprinted to the
 scene before knocking out the beast
 with a flying kick.
urbanfantasyinspiration:
supreme-leader-stoat:


mylifeisafairy-tale:

satansbitontheside:

bathedinflames:

nerdyandyouknowit:

cheerfulmetaphysics:

tsamthepoet:

I hardly see any heroic posts about Muslims on here, so here you go.

I love that it takes the time to specify that his attack of choice was a flying kick

The hero the world needs

I remember this. But I feel we’re missing some key points. When it happened, he was out jogging with his puppy:

He heard screams and sprinted towards them. He jumped a fence, saw a man pinning a woman down and immediately fly-kicked him in the face, knocking him out. He then gave the woman his jacket because her dress was ripped and got her a taxi home. She only managed to get in contact with him and tell the papers cause she later found his driver’s license in the pocket of the jacket.
“If I see a person in danger then I will intervene. I would not want to ignore it and then read the next day that a woman had been raped or murdered.”
And his message to the attacker:
“He is a coward and a man with no morals. I won’t forget his face.”

Glaswegians will always fly kick someone I swear. Good on him.


Something else I love about this is that they’re calling the rapist a “beast” because that is an appropriate word to use for someone who would do something that horrible instead of showing him any form of sympathy or humanizing him 



What a lad

urbanfantasyinspiration: supreme-leader-stoat: mylifeisafairy-tale: satansbitontheside: bathedinflames: nerdyandyouknowit: cheerfulmet...

Child Support, Children, and Condom: 宋 Slay Follow @Foreverlighty My homeboy make 16 hundred a week but he only see $116.63 after child support... this is some fucked up stuff Earnings rate hours this tod Regular Overtime 18.5900 8.00 1.487.20 27,8850 4.88 136.08 Holiday Pay Paid Time Off Gross Pa $1,623.28 Deductions Statuto Federal Income Tax -149.03 Social Security Tax Medicare Tax 83.99 -19.65 Other -210.42 49.64 Core Health Dental Support Order Support Order Support Order Support Order 268.19 -231.79 233.30 -252.03 Vision 8.51 Net Pa Checking S116.73 -116.73 mother of kittens gi Follow @redheaded_wreck I'm glad he's seeing consequences for his actions of having irresponsible sex Maybe he should have kept his legs closed if he wasn't ready to take responsibility for his actions://// Slayd @Foreverlighty iMy homeboy make 16 hundred a week but he only see $116.63 after child support this is some fucked up stuff Show this thread 9:28 AM - 18 May 2019 11,656 Retweets 47,401 Likes C s divestedblackwoman: bichaotic: ophelias-revenge: unheavenlycreature: sugarkat: theambassadorposts: Why does it look like 4 support payments? 4 kids?? Or am I just reading shit wrong Four kids he wasn’t supporting until a court order demanded it. Possibly more than one. Honestly? Precisely zero sympathy for the dude. first of all that says he worked 80 hours before hitting ot so this is a biweekly check…anyway i went and found the twitter thread and in it the dude confirms his friend had 4 different kids by 4 different women. so please allow me to play the world’s smallest violin for him for being court mandated to help take care of the children he brought into this world :’( :’( clearly he didn’t decide to start strapping up after the first, second, or even third child so maybe number four will be enough to convince him Men really be out there knocking up women left right and center and telling women “but baby it feels so much better without a condom!” and voting for dudes who are banning abortion and they cry about how they can’t trust women on birth control and they’re abandoning kids all over the country but we’re supposed to cry when the court says pay for your kids in a system where welfare and WIC is fucking peanuts and won’t even cover breakfast daily. Fuck their crocodile tears! Where’s the laws for forced castrations after men are irresponsible and have two kids they don’t want to support? Men who don’t like abortion or don’t wanna pay child support can wear a condom or have a vasectomy!! No sympathy for deadbeats. Pay the fuck up.
Child Support, Children, and Condom: 宋
 Slay
 Follow
 @Foreverlighty
 My homeboy make 16 hundred a week
 but he only see $116.63 after child
 support... this is some fucked up stuff

 Earnings
 rate
 hours
 this tod
 Regular
 Overtime
 18.5900 8.00
 1.487.20
 27,8850
 4.88
 136.08
 Holiday Pay
 Paid Time Off
 Gross Pa
 $1,623.28
 Deductions Statuto
 Federal Income Tax
 -149.03
 Social Security Tax
 Medicare Tax
 83.99
 -19.65
 Other
 -210.42
 49.64
 Core Health
 Dental
 Support Order
 Support Order
 Support Order
 Support Order
 268.19
 -231.79
 233.30
 -252.03
 Vision
 8.51
 Net Pa
 Checking
 S116.73
 -116.73

 mother of kittens
 gi
 Follow
 @redheaded_wreck
 I'm glad he's seeing consequences for
 his actions of having irresponsible sex
 Maybe he should have kept his legs
 closed if he wasn't ready to take
 responsibility for his actions:////
 Slayd @Foreverlighty
 iMy homeboy make 16 hundred a week but he only see
 $116.63 after child support this is some fucked up stuff
 Show this thread
 9:28 AM - 18 May 2019
 11,656 Retweets 47,401 Likes C
 s
divestedblackwoman:
bichaotic:

ophelias-revenge:

unheavenlycreature:


sugarkat:

theambassadorposts:
Why does it look like 4 support payments? 4 kids?? Or am I just reading shit wrong

Four kids he wasn’t supporting until a court order demanded it. Possibly more than one.
Honestly? Precisely zero sympathy for the dude.

first of all that says he worked 80 hours before hitting ot so this is a biweekly check…anyway i went and found the twitter thread and in it the dude confirms his friend had 4 different kids by 4 different women. so please allow me to play the world’s smallest violin for him for being court mandated to help take care of the children he brought into this world :’( :’( clearly he didn’t decide to start strapping up after the first, second, or even third child so maybe number four will be enough to convince him


Men really be out there knocking up women left right and center and telling women “but baby it feels so much better without a condom!” and voting for dudes who are banning abortion and they cry about how they can’t trust women on birth control and they’re abandoning kids all over the country but we’re supposed to cry when the court says pay for your kids in a system where welfare and WIC is fucking peanuts and won’t even cover breakfast daily. 
Fuck their crocodile tears! 
Where’s the laws for forced castrations after men are irresponsible and have two kids they don’t want to support? 


Men who don’t like abortion or don’t wanna pay child support can wear a condom or have a vasectomy!!


No sympathy for deadbeats. Pay the fuck up.

divestedblackwoman: bichaotic: ophelias-revenge: unheavenlycreature: sugarkat: theambassadorposts: Why does it look like 4 support paym...

Confused, Life, and Radio: l Seven Astronauts describe what it feels like to be in space.. Charles Duke Imagine your body as a potato. Now, imagine no gravity acting on that potato, and bingo: That's what space feels like. Eugene Cernan It's so inspiring to see the entire globe shimmering below you and realize that this is where prog rock started. Bernard A. Harris Jr. The best part was getting your picture taken while deadifting a 3,000-pound barbell. There's no gravity, so it's super easy to lift, but you still look really strong Eileen Collins I was looking forward to being weightless, but gravity still works for me in space. It kind of sucks seeing al the other astronauts floating around while I'm stuck orn the floor. Mae Jemison There are a bunch of extra continents you can only see from space. So far, I've counted 18 continents, but find more all the time Barry Wilmore You never know true beauty until you see Earth from space, or true terror untl you hear someone knocking on the space station door from outside. You look through the porthole and see an astronaut, but all your crew is inside and accounted for. You use the comm to ask who it is and he says he's Ramirez returning from a repair mission, but Ramirez is sitting right next to you n the command module and he's just as confused as you are. When you tell the guy this over the radio he starts banging on the door louder and harder, begging you to let him in, saying he's the real Ramirez Meanwhile, the Ramirez inside with you is pleading to keep the airlock shut. It realy puts life on Earth into Terry W. Virts There's no golf there epicjohndoe: It’s Like Your Body Is A Potato
Confused, Life, and Radio: l
 Seven Astronauts describe what it feels like
 to be in space..
 Charles Duke
 Imagine your body as a potato. Now, imagine no
 gravity acting on that potato, and bingo: That's what
 space feels like.
 Eugene Cernan
 It's so inspiring to see the entire globe shimmering
 below you and realize that this is where prog rock
 started.
 Bernard A. Harris Jr.
 The best part was getting your picture taken while
 deadifting a 3,000-pound barbell. There's no gravity, so
 it's super easy to lift, but you still look really strong
 Eileen Collins
 I was looking forward to being weightless, but gravity
 still works for me in space. It kind of sucks seeing al
 the other astronauts floating around while I'm stuck orn
 the floor.
 Mae Jemison
 There are a bunch of extra continents you can only
 see from space. So far, I've counted 18 continents, but
 find more all the time
 Barry Wilmore
 You never know true beauty until you see Earth from
 space, or true terror untl you hear someone knocking
 on the space station door from outside. You look
 through the porthole and see an astronaut, but all your
 crew is inside and accounted for. You use the comm to
 ask who it is and he says he's Ramirez returning from
 a repair mission, but Ramirez is sitting right next to you
 n the command module and he's just as confused as
 you are. When you tell the guy this over the radio he
 starts banging on the door louder and harder, begging
 you to let him in, saying he's the real Ramirez
 Meanwhile, the Ramirez inside with you is pleading to
 keep the airlock shut. It realy puts life on Earth into
 Terry W. Virts
 There's no golf there
epicjohndoe:

It’s Like Your Body Is A Potato

epicjohndoe: It’s Like Your Body Is A Potato

Being Alone, Chill, and Chris Evans: potofsoup: rainnecassidy: cynics-and-romantics: chris-evans-and-his-pizza: shanology: verysharpteeth: I have to comment on the fact that when it comes to the serum, Bucky is souped UP on that stuff. Steve probably tones back how much he’s hitting normal humans, but GOOD LANDS. Bucky’s not just knocking someone down, he’s getting them air borne. With a kick. We know the cyborg arm is really strong, but BUCKY is insanely strong. Reminds me of the comic where he throws an arrow through someone’s face with his good arm, not even the cyborg one. Bucky is scary ramped up in the strength department. This is why when people talk about Bucky having received an “inferior” version of the serum, I kind of raise my eyebrows. The overall effects of Zola’s serum might have differed from Erskine’s, but it certainly doesn’t seem to have left Bucky physically weaker. There are a lot of fics that assume Bucky would not be a match for Steve if Steve were actually willing to fight him, but Bucky more than proves his strength in Winter Soldier. This should also make people realize that he isn’t some lost puppy. He can take care of hisself, even if he doesn’t have memories. He got the Smithsonian by himself right? He got those clothes himself right? He can take care of himself. He was manipulated to be a predator. He is strong enough, swift enough to take down prey. He is intuitive enough to find who or what he wants. Even before The Soldier, Bucky was smart as a whip and could hold his own in a fight. But now? Now he is the perfect weapon, whether or not he wishes to be. He adapts, he fights, he wins. You know what else bugs me? When people act in fics like he’s just going to snap and kill everyone around him.  Bucky is not a violent person.  I don’t think the Winter Soldier is a violent person either.  He killed because he was ordered to, but if he wasn’t ordered to?  TBH I think the Winter Soldier would probably be pretty chill and quiet.  Like, you wouldn’t want to startle him or whatever, because yeah, scary ninja personification of death, but if you were just, like, sharing a train car?  Or sitting in a waiting room?  Not a randomly violent guy.  No homicidal urges.  Probably largely just wants to be left the fuck alone to, like, contemplate Dostoevsky or something. I recently re-watched Cap2, and this scene — it’s basically Bucky’s equivalent of what Steve did on the Lemurian Star — he takes out a whole squadron (???) of pilots single-handedly.  And it’s … stunning how brutallly effective he is.  No fancy Cap parkour.  Just straight up killing machine. Which I think gets at the above meta/commentary — WS is not just a soldier, he’s a highy trained Super Soldier.  He can go toe-to-toe with Steve on basically everything — hand-to-hand combat, leading a team (he leads a team when he’s tracking Nat/Steve), and taking down a large # of machines/men single-handedly. The difference, then, is the drive.  Which is that WS has none.  He is a ghost that simply follows orders (and when he doesn’t, he gets wiped.)  Bucky has no direction, so he goes where he’s pointed.  One thing I find so interesting about mcu!WS is how neutral he is.  There’s no Soviet brainwashing (we see Pierce giving him The Talk, but he doesn’t seem to actually care), no misguided sense of right or wrong.  Just … nothing. Of course, Steve was like that, too, at the beginning of the film — just following orders and muddling through life.  But Steve knew enough to be dissatisfied by that, to Want Out.  Which is why he’s Steve. And this is one of the larger themes of CA:TWS — it’s about a bunch of highly skilled people who no longer find satisfaction in following orders, and want to find meaning outside of their jobs.  Sam did it, Nat and Steve are looking, and Bucky is just starting.
Being Alone, Chill, and Chris Evans: potofsoup:
rainnecassidy:

cynics-and-romantics:

chris-evans-and-his-pizza:

shanology:

verysharpteeth:

I have to comment on the fact that when it comes to the serum, Bucky is souped UP on that stuff. Steve probably tones back how much he’s hitting normal humans, but GOOD LANDS. Bucky’s not just knocking someone down, he’s getting them air borne. With a kick. We know the cyborg arm is really strong, but BUCKY is insanely strong. Reminds me of the comic where he throws an arrow through someone’s face with his good arm, not even the cyborg one. Bucky is scary ramped up in the strength department.

This is why when people talk about Bucky having received an “inferior” version of the serum, I kind of raise my eyebrows. The overall effects of Zola’s serum might have differed from Erskine’s, but it certainly doesn’t seem to have left Bucky physically weaker. There are a lot of fics that assume Bucky would not be a match for Steve if Steve were actually willing to fight him, but Bucky more than proves his strength in Winter Soldier.

This should also make people realize that he isn’t some lost puppy. He can take care of hisself, even if he doesn’t have memories. He got the Smithsonian by himself right? He got those clothes himself right? He can take care of himself.

He was manipulated to be a predator. He is strong enough, swift enough to take down prey. He is intuitive enough to find who or what he wants. Even before The Soldier, Bucky was smart as a whip and could hold his own in a fight. But now? Now he is the perfect weapon, whether or not he wishes to be. He adapts, he fights, he wins.

You know what else bugs me? When people act in fics like he’s just going to snap and kill everyone around him.  Bucky is not a violent person.  I don’t think the Winter Soldier is a violent person either.  He killed because he was ordered to, but if he wasn’t ordered to?  TBH I think the Winter Soldier would probably be pretty chill and quiet.  Like, you wouldn’t want to startle him or whatever, because yeah, scary ninja personification of death, but if you were just, like, sharing a train car?  Or sitting in a waiting room?  Not a randomly violent guy.  No homicidal urges.  Probably largely just wants to be left the fuck alone to, like, contemplate Dostoevsky or something.

I recently re-watched Cap2, and this scene — it’s basically Bucky’s equivalent of what Steve did on the Lemurian Star — he takes out a whole squadron (???) of pilots single-handedly.  And it’s … stunning how brutallly effective he is.  No fancy Cap parkour.  Just straight up killing machine.
Which I think gets at the above meta/commentary — WS is not just a soldier, he’s a highy trained Super Soldier.  He can go toe-to-toe with Steve on basically everything — hand-to-hand combat, leading a team (he leads a team when he’s tracking Nat/Steve), and taking down a large # of machines/men single-handedly.
The difference, then, is the drive.  Which is that WS has none.  He is a ghost that simply follows orders (and when he doesn’t, he gets wiped.)  Bucky has no direction, so he goes where he’s pointed.  One thing I find so interesting about mcu!WS is how neutral he is.  There’s no Soviet brainwashing (we see Pierce giving him The Talk, but he doesn’t seem to actually care), no misguided sense of right or wrong.  Just … nothing.
Of course, Steve was like that, too, at the beginning of the film — just following orders and muddling through life.  But Steve knew enough to be dissatisfied by that, to Want Out.  Which is why he’s Steve.
And this is one of the larger themes of CA:TWS — it’s about a bunch of highly skilled people who no longer find satisfaction in following orders, and want to find meaning outside of their jobs.  Sam did it, Nat and Steve are looking, and Bucky is just starting.

potofsoup: rainnecassidy: cynics-and-romantics: chris-evans-and-his-pizza: shanology: verysharpteeth: I have to comment on the fact tha...

Mixtape, Table, and They: Theyre about to drop the hottest mixtape ever onto the floor by knocking it off a table
Mixtape, Table, and They: Theyre about to drop the hottest mixtape ever onto the floor by knocking it off a table

Theyre about to drop the hottest mixtape ever onto the floor by knocking it off a table

Mixtape, Table, and They: Theyre about to drop the hottest mixtape ever onto the floor by knocking it off a table
Mixtape, Table, and They: Theyre about to drop the hottest mixtape ever onto the floor by knocking it off a table

Theyre about to drop the hottest mixtape ever onto the floor by knocking it off a table

Mixtape, Table, and They: Theyre about to drop the hottest mixtape ever onto the floor by knocking it off a table
Mixtape, Table, and They: Theyre about to drop the hottest mixtape ever onto the floor by knocking it off a table

Theyre about to drop the hottest mixtape ever onto the floor by knocking it off a table

Beautiful, Birthday, and Bless Up: This old man turned 15 today. Can we wish my four egged baby a happy birthday? So this morning on the way to the gym I parked in the lot, took my glasses off and left them in the middle console of my car so I could run inside and get it in on this stair master (while watching my wifey who don’t know she my wifey Mrs Maizel do her COT 👏 DAMN 👏 THING 👏 ON 👏 THAT 👏 SCREEN 👏 U 👏 GO 👏 BABY 👏 GIRL 👏 EFF 👏 JOEL 👏 WITCHOE 👏 SHARP 👏 WIT 👏 AND 👏 MOUNTAINOUS 👏 TÈTA$ 👏 LMAO) because I only need them to see far, not while I’m actually at the gym. I come back after knocking out my workout and the left lens is frozen over bruv. BRUV. I CANT SEE LMAO. The steam had frozen into a beautiful snowflake pattern but just one eye. I have driven in a car with a frozen windshield because I am too rushed to scrape it but having to drive with one frozen eyeball was some insane Sh!t bruv! It was a gentle reminder of this ridiculous frozen tundra that I live in and that arguably no human should live in because who the hell would want to live under 4 to 6 inches of snow LOL (Canada, no shots, I know yall get twice as much snow on a regular schmegular Wednesday but y’all veins pump maple syrup it don’t freeze like us we got normal blood lmao.) Anyway this summer I’ll be back to talking smack about how Chicago is the best city on earth so when I do that, y’all are authorized to remind me that once upon a time I was tight asf that I lived in the cot dang South Pole. Remember that brand? South Pole? With the baggy coats and jeans? I used to want to afford that stuff so much but I couldn’t but then when it fell out of style I was like I NEVER ROCKED THAT UGLY ISHT HAHAHAHAHA I AM SO FANCY (why am I like this 😑 bless up 😍😂😂) (Slide 1: @aturner411. Slide 2: reddit u-wampus514. Please check out www.dogs4warriors.org ❤️. Slide 3: @goosewhomst. Slide 4: @jadethesablegsd.)
Beautiful, Birthday, and Bless Up: This old man turned 15 today. Can we wish my four
 egged baby a happy birthday?
So this morning on the way to the gym I parked in the lot, took my glasses off and left them in the middle console of my car so I could run inside and get it in on this stair master (while watching my wifey who don’t know she my wifey Mrs Maizel do her COT 👏 DAMN 👏 THING 👏 ON 👏 THAT 👏 SCREEN 👏 U 👏 GO 👏 BABY 👏 GIRL 👏 EFF 👏 JOEL 👏 WITCHOE 👏 SHARP 👏 WIT 👏 AND 👏 MOUNTAINOUS 👏 TÈTA$ 👏 LMAO) because I only need them to see far, not while I’m actually at the gym. I come back after knocking out my workout and the left lens is frozen over bruv. BRUV. I CANT SEE LMAO. The steam had frozen into a beautiful snowflake pattern but just one eye. I have driven in a car with a frozen windshield because I am too rushed to scrape it but having to drive with one frozen eyeball was some insane Sh!t bruv! It was a gentle reminder of this ridiculous frozen tundra that I live in and that arguably no human should live in because who the hell would want to live under 4 to 6 inches of snow LOL (Canada, no shots, I know yall get twice as much snow on a regular schmegular Wednesday but y’all veins pump maple syrup it don’t freeze like us we got normal blood lmao.) Anyway this summer I’ll be back to talking smack about how Chicago is the best city on earth so when I do that, y’all are authorized to remind me that once upon a time I was tight asf that I lived in the cot dang South Pole. Remember that brand? South Pole? With the baggy coats and jeans? I used to want to afford that stuff so much but I couldn’t but then when it fell out of style I was like I NEVER ROCKED THAT UGLY ISHT HAHAHAHAHA I AM SO FANCY (why am I like this 😑 bless up 😍😂😂) (Slide 1: @aturner411. Slide 2: reddit u-wampus514. Please check out www.dogs4warriors.org ❤️. Slide 3: @goosewhomst. Slide 4: @jadethesablegsd.)

So this morning on the way to the gym I parked in the lot, took my glasses off and left them in the middle console of my car so I could run ...

Ass, Fall, and Hail Mary: I almost died today. Here is the true story So Iwas derping in my backyard today, picking up dog crap. The whole time, my dog was just sitting there watching me, enjoying the sight. So I go to the small section in between my trampoline and my fence. Now if any of you haven't seen my trampoline, it is really old and there are these black foam things on the bars that used to hold up a net, but they are mostly destroyed now. So I walk in the narrow space, and I get completely covered by the hugest web I've ever felt. All over my face, all over my chest and shoulders. I freak out, but I realize that there is no worries. I see no spider, and it would have to be a big ass spider to concoct such a glorious web. Well, sure enough, in the middle of my struggle to break free, I look up, and slowly, ever so slowly, I see the huge, black-brown mass of a spider about the size of my fist crawl out of some old, decaying foam protectors. I stare at it; it stares back. I look closely for any threads connecting us, and there, glinting back at me with sunlight, is one strand of spider web, connecting the hulk spider to my face. It realizes the fact at the same time as me, and thinks, "Yes! This boy's eye sockets will make excellent breeding holes for my eggs!! and starts a full on crawling sprint towards me. I freak out, and begin to struggle even more and more to release myself from this web. It reaches the halfway mark and sees me begin to escape, so it goes for gold. The Hail Mary play. A daring leap straight for the head. Time slows down. This thing has all legs extended, blocking out the sun. A sure death for me. My left arm breaks free from the web. This could be my chance! A quick and decisive left cross reaches the spider JUST in time knocking the behemoth against the fence. It looks dazed; begins to squirm around on the ground, preparing for a counteroffensive. I don't give it a chance. I take the poop shovel in both my hands, shout a battle cry of pure victorious slaughter and smash my enemy into a crumpled pile, each strike emanating a loud crunch of the monster's body.I emerge the survivor in this battle. Thank you video games, for my improved reaction time, lest I fall victim to fate Unlike Comment Share 3 hours ago you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com epicjohndoe: This Man Should Write A Novel
Ass, Fall, and Hail Mary: I almost died today. Here is the true story
 So Iwas derping in my backyard today, picking up dog crap. The whole
 time, my dog was just sitting there watching me, enjoying the sight. So I
 go to the small section in between my trampoline and my fence. Now if
 any of you haven't seen my trampoline, it is really old and there are
 these black foam things on the bars that used to hold up a net, but they
 are mostly destroyed now. So I walk in the narrow space, and I get
 completely covered by the hugest web I've ever felt. All over my face, all
 over my chest and shoulders. I freak out, but I realize that there is no
 worries. I see no spider, and it would have to be a big ass spider to
 concoct such a glorious web. Well, sure enough, in the middle of my
 struggle to break free, I look up, and slowly, ever so slowly, I see the
 huge, black-brown mass of a spider about the size of my fist crawl out
 of some old, decaying foam protectors. I stare at it; it stares back. I look
 closely for any threads connecting us, and there, glinting back at me
 with sunlight, is one strand of spider web, connecting the hulk spider to
 my face. It realizes the fact at the same time as me, and thinks, "Yes!
 This boy's eye sockets will make excellent breeding holes for my eggs!!
 and starts a full on crawling sprint towards me. I freak out, and begin to
 struggle even more and more to release myself from this web. It
 reaches the halfway mark and sees me begin to escape, so it goes for
 gold. The Hail Mary play. A daring leap straight for the head. Time slows
 down. This thing has all legs extended, blocking out the sun. A sure
 death for me. My left arm breaks free from the web. This could be my
 chance! A quick and decisive left cross reaches the spider JUST in time
 knocking the behemoth against the fence. It looks dazed; begins to
 squirm around on the ground, preparing for a counteroffensive. I don't
 give it a chance. I take the poop shovel in both my hands, shout a battle
 cry of pure victorious slaughter and smash my enemy into a crumpled
 pile, each strike emanating a loud crunch of the monster's body.I
 emerge the survivor in this battle. Thank you video games, for my
 improved reaction time, lest I fall victim to fate
 Unlike Comment Share 3 hours ago
 you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com
epicjohndoe:

This Man Should Write A Novel

epicjohndoe: This Man Should Write A Novel

Now, Concept, and Just: I forgot knocking is now just some foreign concept.
Now, Concept, and Just: I forgot knocking is now just some foreign concept.

I forgot knocking is now just some foreign concept.