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Pleaseeee

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Imgur Com

Imgur Com

Fried
Fried

Fried

Championship
Championship

Championship

Max
Max

Max

Textposts
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I Imgur Com: inquisitorhotpants: burntcopper: futureevilscientist: optimysticals: uovoc: konec0: sleepyferret: shitfacedanon: dat-soldier: sonnetscrewdriver: dat-soldier: did-you-kno: Source back the fuck up There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up. So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him. The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off. Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes. did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out This just keeps getting better I fucking love history. ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yi… OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire. The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponent’s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, y’know, kinda sucked. On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like “shit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.” Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And that’s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap When Sima Yi comes he’s all like “yo come on in bro” and Sima Yi is like “yeah he’s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluff” and he’s about to head in when he realizes wait. he knows that i think he’s bluffing. and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like “he know that I know that he knows that etc.”), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave. Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan was based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, there’s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat.  and that’s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely just to deceive one man, and it worked. Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his side’s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river. Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy.  Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then he’s like, ”Ok guys that’s enough.” They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemy’s arrows. Zhuge Liang is legend. I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History. If you want to see this in cinematic glory, watch Red Cliff. Especially since it makes Zhuge Liang look like this: Red Cliff is 50% bloody battles and 50% eye candy and about half of that eye-candy is due to Zhuge Liang I fully support watching Red Cliff; it’s gloriously silly entertainment during the battle scenes. Guess what just got moved to the top of my watch list?? :D
I Imgur Com: inquisitorhotpants:

burntcopper:

futureevilscientist:

optimysticals:

uovoc:

konec0:

sleepyferret:

shitfacedanon:

dat-soldier:

sonnetscrewdriver:

dat-soldier:

did-you-kno:

Source


back the fuck up


There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up.
So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him.
The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off.
Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes.


did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out


This just keeps getting better

I fucking love history.

ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok
so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yi… OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire.
The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponent’s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, y’know, kinda sucked.
On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like “shit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.” Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And that’s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap
When Sima Yi comes he’s all like “yo come on in bro”
and Sima Yi is like “yeah he’s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluff” and he’s about to head in when he realizes
wait. he knows that i think he’s bluffing.
and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like “he know that I know that he knows that etc.”), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave.
Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan was based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, there’s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat. 
and that’s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely just to deceive one man, and it worked.

Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his side’s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river.
Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy. 
Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then he’s like, ”Ok guys that’s enough.” They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemy’s arrows.
Zhuge Liang is legend.

I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History.

If you want to see this in cinematic glory, watch Red Cliff.
Especially since it makes Zhuge Liang look like this:
Red Cliff is 50% bloody battles and 50% eye candy and about half of that eye-candy is due to Zhuge Liang

I fully support watching Red Cliff; it’s gloriously silly entertainment during the battle scenes.

Guess what just got moved to the top of my watch list?? :D

inquisitorhotpants: burntcopper: futureevilscientist: optimysticals: uovoc: konec0: sleepyferret: shitfacedanon: dat-soldier: so...

I Imgur Com: eepoxdraws: Updated the first ever portrait I had done of Manata to better reflect how I imagine her now, and to have it match better the upcoming Mag'har model.Before - after
I Imgur Com: eepoxdraws:

Updated
 the first ever portrait I had done of Manata to better reflect how I 
imagine her now, and to have it match better the upcoming Mag'har model.Before - after

eepoxdraws: Updated the first ever portrait I had done of Manata to better reflect how I imagine her now, and to have it match better...

I Imgur Com: Una pequeña historia de las pandemias.Aquí en grande.
I Imgur Com: Una pequeña historia de las pandemias.Aquí en grande.

Una pequeña historia de las pandemias.Aquí en grande.

I Imgur Com: electric-firefly: {x} | Artist: じゃんぷ | Permission to Post ※ Do not Repost. Please fav/retweet/visit the artist's work!
I Imgur Com: electric-firefly:
{x} | Artist: じゃんぷ | Permission to Post
※ Do not Repost. Please fav/retweet/visit the artist's work!

electric-firefly: {x} | Artist: じゃんぷ | Permission to Post ※ Do not Repost. Please fav/retweet/visit the artist's work!

I Imgur Com: bonesingerofyme-loc: lord shaxx entering the battle of the twilight gap [City Age, colorized] tumblr your gif limits are shit, so here’s the non shit version
I Imgur Com: bonesingerofyme-loc:



lord shaxx entering the battle of the twilight gap [City Age, colorized]

tumblr your gif limits are shit, so here’s the non shit version

bonesingerofyme-loc: lord shaxx entering the battle of the twilight gap [City Age, colorized] tumblr your gif limits are shit, so her...

I Imgur Com: cgbk10: screaming-space-pastel: cookie-cherry: books-andbiscuits: my-wifes-princess-apparently: fandomfan315: wereallcurioshere12: doggiediva13: mysteriouslyswimmingfan-blo-blog: goldiemarsh: darkishleaf: stanlysatanly: darkishleaf: crimson-chains: foxpirates-art: twiglightdragon: gay-bara-yaoi-cartoon: coolneko: goldenyaoi: morning-star-sempai: siilasraayan: biggest-gaudiest-patronuses: capri-sunqueen: just-a-slytherin-with-salt: tree-of-blue-squirrel: snovolovac: rattling-the-stars-in-a-tardis: madamelibrarian: soubidou: multifandom-hoes: iamatrashfan: iamatrashfan: monstersofmemory: charliejamesnovak: conniemcfalcon: thegamerkangaroo: m4dh4ttey266: zaku-kazu: mild-creativity: ameliapondandrory: ringo-smile: yaoi-online: janaya7609: yaoi-totally-my-life: ash-asr: small-town-ink: romanoscurl: inafantasy-wby: theartofwazzing: maria-ruta: bluetiesandflannelshirts: maria-ruta: hamburgergod: maria-ruta: schottishy: m-i-y-u-k-i-nyaa: daitoshi: all-canadian-striderp: cheese3d: cheese3d: anyone please ask your crush out like this The thrilling answer no they need to kiss out behind the school!!!! oops my hand slipped nexttttt pleaseee :D Come on guys add on to this tumblr needs this to be a comic series I was asked for doing this, so I did BAM! I’m out of ideas! XD next? THIS IS TOO CUTE I CAN’T LEAVE IT ALONE I’M SORRY OHHHHHHHHHH MYYYYY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDD!!!!!!! LOOOK ATT THIIIIS!!!! LOOOOK ATTT THIIIISS!!!! 80 NEEEXT!!!!! IT HAD TO BE DONE: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *O* OH MY GOOD!!!!! ThAT’S IT!!!! #0o0# so yeah I LOVE THIS REBLOGGED THIS TWICE I have a need…..I must add to this… still waiting for the smut C’mon guys… it needs some smut THIS NEEDS TO CONTINUE SOMEONE PLEASE CONTINUE IT Not so perfect but still perfect first date HOLY SHIT I LOVE THIS WITH MY ENTIRE HEART O HECk IT GOT bETtEr OMG, THIS IS PERFECT 💖 notes/letters=the most intimate gesture! THERES MORE I reblogged this like a year and a half ago and IT CONTINUES!?  ITS BACK OMG Omg it’s here! THIS CUTE I WANNA CONTINUE IT Ok I tried because this is so cute  OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDFFDFF IT GOT EVEN BETTER OMG This has to be the most adorable thing I’ve seen today.  This gave me so many happy and cute feels every time this circles back there’s always more, I love you all  this warms my heart on so many levels <3 ITS BACK I’m just sitting here Hitting my knee Squealing and smiling omfg hey remember that time tumblr wrote an. entire. gay webcomic. This just goes to show that we can all do great things if we collaborate and accept each other. AAAAAAHH ITS BACK THIS IS SOOOOO ADORABLE ♡♡♡♡♡♡ Only because it’s fucking cute!!! This is so beautiful ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Let it continue!!! Here’s my addiction If the text is to small:Happy birthday!!!………..I’ll see you later today?If you want….I have something Important to ask you,,,, >.> <.< ^_^;; ^///////^ Keepin it rollin!  My contribution to this adorable story ^^ Can I request naming the big guy Damian and the little one Ollie? Plot twist. I kinda want the big one to be Ollie and the little guy Damian. Double plot twist: same i added sum more– This is my favorite. B E A U T I F U L The last hand kiss got me…..oh wow. IT’S B A C K i love this so much I LOVE THIS My gay ass need CONTINUATION!!!! WOW! THIS HAS PROGRESSED SO MUCH SINCE I LAST SAW THIS! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
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daitoshi:

all-canadian-striderp:

cheese3d:

cheese3d:


anyone please ask your crush out like this


The thrilling answer

no they need to kiss out behind the school!!!!

oops my hand slipped

nexttttt pleaseee :D

Come on guys add on to this tumblr needs this to be a comic series

I was asked for doing this, so I did
BAM!
I’m out of ideas! XD
next?

THIS IS TOO CUTE I CAN’T LEAVE IT ALONE I’M SORRY

OHHHHHHHHHH MYYYYY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDD!!!!!!!
LOOOK ATT THIIIIS!!!!
LOOOOK ATTT THIIIISS!!!!
80
NEEEXT!!!!!

IT HAD TO BE DONE:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*O*
OH MY GOOD!!!!!
ThAT’S IT!!!!
#0o0#


so yeah

I LOVE THIS

REBLOGGED THIS TWICE

I have a need…..I must add to this…

still waiting for the smut


C’mon guys… it needs some smut


THIS NEEDS TO CONTINUE

SOMEONE PLEASE CONTINUE IT

Not so perfect but still perfect first date


HOLY SHIT I LOVE THIS WITH MY ENTIRE HEART


O HECk IT GOT bETtEr


OMG, THIS IS PERFECT 💖

notes/letters=the most intimate gesture!


THERES MORE

I reblogged this like a year and a half ago and IT CONTINUES!? 

ITS BACK OMG


Omg it’s here!


THIS CUTE I WANNA CONTINUE IT

Ok I tried because this is so cute 


OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDFFDFF

IT GOT EVEN BETTER OMG

This has to be the most adorable thing I’ve seen today. 

This gave me so many happy and cute feels

every time this circles back there’s always more, I love you all 

this warms my heart on so many levels <3


ITS BACK


I’m just sitting here
Hitting my knee
Squealing and smiling omfg

hey remember that time tumblr wrote an. entire. gay webcomic.


This just goes to show that we can all do great things if we collaborate and accept each other.


AAAAAAHH ITS BACK


THIS IS SOOOOO ADORABLE ♡♡♡♡♡♡


Only because it’s fucking cute!!!


This is so beautiful ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Let it continue!!! Here’s my addiction If the text is to small:Happy birthday!!!………..I’ll see you later today?If you want….I have something Important to ask you,,,, >.> <.< ^_^;; ^///////^

Keepin it rollin! 

My contribution to this adorable story ^^


Can I request naming the big guy Damian and the little one Ollie?


Plot twist. I kinda want the big one to be Ollie and the little guy Damian.


Double plot twist: same

i added sum more–


This is my favorite.

B E A U T I F U L


The last hand kiss got me…..oh wow. 


IT’S B A C K

i love this so much

I LOVE THIS



My gay ass need CONTINUATION!!!!



WOW!



THIS HAS PROGRESSED SO MUCH SINCE I LAST SAW THIS! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

cgbk10: screaming-space-pastel: cookie-cherry: books-andbiscuits: my-wifes-princess-apparently: fandomfan315: wereallcurioshere12:...

I Imgur Com: petalpetal: references used X X X
I Imgur Com: petalpetal:

references used X X X

petalpetal: references used X X X

I Imgur Com: nunyabizni: tal-shiar-fashion-police:ye fookin’ wank stain m8 Kings
I Imgur Com: nunyabizni:

tal-shiar-fashion-police:ye fookin’ wank stain m8
Kings

nunyabizni: tal-shiar-fashion-police:ye fookin’ wank stain m8 Kings

I Imgur Com: vacationadventuresociety: (click here for HQ) Tweeter Center, Camden, NJ. 14/10/05
I Imgur Com: vacationadventuresociety:

(click here for HQ)
Tweeter Center, Camden, NJ. 14/10/05

vacationadventuresociety: (click here for HQ) Tweeter Center, Camden, NJ. 14/10/05

I Imgur Com: thepowersofthemind: sixpenceee: Clouds look like incoming tsunami. From here Earth is really mad at us
I Imgur Com: thepowersofthemind:
sixpenceee:

Clouds look like incoming tsunami. From here

Earth is really mad at us

thepowersofthemind: sixpenceee: Clouds look like incoming tsunami. From here Earth is really mad at us

I Imgur Com: vacationadventuresociety: (click here for HQ)
I Imgur Com: vacationadventuresociety:
(click here for HQ)

vacationadventuresociety: (click here for HQ)

I Imgur Com: Sam Cristoforetti Follow @AstroSamantha "There's coffee in that nebula"... ehm, I mean... in that #Dragon RETWEETS FAVORITES 7,490 9,213 pepoluan: sourcedumal: tockthewatchdog: prokopetz: lilium-m: rainbowbarnacle: devilishkurumi: European Space Agency astronaut Samantha Cristoforetti, the first Italian woman in space, took a moment to celebrate Captain Janeway at around 250 miles above Earth. (CNET) (twitter) i bet someone else has already posted this by now but i thought it was really cool bc now we officially have had a cosplay selfie in space lmao also apparently this marks the first time a star trek uniform’s actually been worn in space i heard??? which is also awesome She did it again today! Also, in the picture she’s drinking coffee brewed with an espresso machine specifically engineered to work on the International Space Station - the ISSpresso (made in Italy!). The most amusing thing about this is that, at current launch prices, it costs in the neighbourhood of $4000 per pound to send stuff to the International Space Station. Eyeballing that uniform’s weight at about two pounds, this means that before Ms. Cristoforetti could take cosplay selfies on the ISS, she first had to propose to her nation’s space agency, with a straight face, that they should approve an extra eight grand to send that uniform up there with her in the first place - and that they agreed that this was, in fact, an appropriate use of their funding. Neeeeeeeerds. MY PEOPLE  This is awesome. I love Nerds in Space. All praise to Ms. Cristoforetti for making the dream come true.
I Imgur Com: Sam Cristoforetti
 Follow
 @AstroSamantha
 "There's coffee in that nebula"... ehm, I
 mean... in that #Dragon
 RETWEETS
 FAVORITES
 7,490
 9,213
pepoluan:
sourcedumal:

tockthewatchdog:

prokopetz:

lilium-m:

rainbowbarnacle:

devilishkurumi:

European Space Agency astronaut Samantha Cristoforetti, the first 
Italian woman in space, took a moment to celebrate Captain Janeway at 
around 250 miles above Earth. (CNET) (twitter)
i bet someone else has already posted this by now but i thought it was really cool bc now we officially have had a cosplay selfie in space lmao
also apparently this marks the first time a star trek uniform’s actually been worn in space i heard??? which is also awesome



She did it again today! Also, in the picture she’s drinking coffee brewed with an espresso machine specifically engineered to work on the International Space Station - the ISSpresso (made in Italy!).



The most amusing thing about this is that, at current launch prices, it costs in the neighbourhood of $4000 per pound to send stuff to the International Space Station. Eyeballing that uniform’s weight at about two pounds, this means that before Ms. Cristoforetti could take cosplay selfies on the ISS, she first had to propose to her nation’s space agency, with a straight face, that they should approve an extra eight grand to send that uniform up there with her in the first place - and that they agreed that this was, in fact, an appropriate use of their funding.
Neeeeeeeerds.

MY PEOPLE 

This is awesome.

I love Nerds in Space.
All praise to Ms. Cristoforetti for making the dream come true.

pepoluan: sourcedumal: tockthewatchdog: prokopetz: lilium-m: rainbowbarnacle: devilishkurumi: European Space Agency astronaut Saman...

I Imgur Com: electric-firefly: {x} | Artist: あゆっぺ | Permission Given to Post ※ Reblog, Do NOT Repost. Please rate/bookmark the artist's work!
I Imgur Com: electric-firefly:

{x} | Artist: あゆっぺ | Permission Given to Post
※ Reblog, Do NOT Repost. Please rate/bookmark the artist's work!

electric-firefly: {x} | Artist: あゆっぺ | Permission Given to Post ※ Reblog, Do NOT Repost. Please rate/bookmark the artist's work!

I Imgur Com: electric-firefly:{x} | Artist: 키모아 | Permission to Post ※ Reblog, Do Not Repost. Please fav/retweet the artist's work!
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electric-firefly:{x} | Artist: 키모아 | Permission to Post ※ Reblog, Do Not Repost. Please fav/retweet the artist's work!

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I Imgur Com: 뙈나 olu청은 어찌1 .. . electric-firefly: {x} | Artist: 밍ミン | Permission to Post ※ Reblog, Do Not Repost. Please fav/retweet the artist's work!
I Imgur Com: 뙈나

 olu청은
 어찌1 .. .
electric-firefly:

{x} | Artist: 밍ミン | Permission to Post 
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I Imgur Com: ellentube mmmmmaz: merelybeing: LMAOOO IM CRYING GHIS IS SO CUTE
I Imgur Com: ellentube
mmmmmaz:

merelybeing:



LMAOOO IM CRYING GHIS IS SO CUTE

mmmmmaz: merelybeing: LMAOOO IM CRYING GHIS IS SO CUTE

I Imgur Com: ND IN vacationadventuresociety: (click here for HQ) Watchmen U.S. Premiere @ Chinese Theatre, Los Angeles, CA. 02/03/09
I Imgur Com: ND IN
vacationadventuresociety:

(click here for HQ)
Watchmen U.S. Premiere @ Chinese Theatre, Los Angeles, CA. 02/03/09

vacationadventuresociety: (click here for HQ) Watchmen U.S. Premiere @ Chinese Theatre, Los Angeles, CA. 02/03/09

I Imgur Com: heuchler-geist: vejiga: @tastylemons99
I Imgur Com: heuchler-geist:

vejiga:






@tastylemons99

heuchler-geist: vejiga: @tastylemons99

I Imgur Com: luteroclockworker: sixpenceee: This perspective makes it look like the moon is melting. (Source) You fool, it is melting. The end times are upon us.
I Imgur Com: luteroclockworker:

sixpenceee:

This perspective makes it look like the moon is melting. (Source)

You fool, it is melting. The end times are upon us.

luteroclockworker: sixpenceee: This perspective makes it look like the moon is melting. (Source) You fool, it is melting. The end time...

I Imgur Com: did you know? did-you-kno.tumblr.com During a battle in 603 BC, Chinese warrior Xiong Yiliao stepped out between the armies and started juggling 9 balls. The opposing troops were so amazed that all 500 of them turned and fled did-you-kno.tumblr.com didyouknowblog.com facebook.com/didyouknowblog optimysticals: uovoc: konec0: sleepyferret: shitfacedanon: dat-soldier: sonnetscrewdriver: dat-soldier: did-you-kno: Source back the fuck up There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up. So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him. The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off. Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes. did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out This just keeps getting better I fucking love history. ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yi… OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire. The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponent’s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, y’know, kinda sucked. On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like “shit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.” Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And that’s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap When Sima Yi comes he’s all like “yo come on in bro” and Sima Yi is like “yeah he’s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluff” and he’s about to head in when he realizes wait. he knows that i think he’s bluffing. and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like “he know that I know that he knows that etc.”), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave. Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan was based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, there’s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat.  and that’s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely just to deceive one man, and it worked. Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his side’s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river. Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy.  Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then he’s like, ”Ok guys that’s enough.” They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemy’s arrows. Zhuge Liang is legend. I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History.
I Imgur Com: did you know?
 did-you-kno.tumblr.com
 During a battle in 603 BC, Chinese warrior
 Xiong Yiliao stepped out between the armies
 and started juggling 9 balls. The opposing
 troops were so amazed that all 500 of them
 turned and fled
 did-you-kno.tumblr.com
 didyouknowblog.com
 facebook.com/didyouknowblog
optimysticals:

uovoc:

konec0:

sleepyferret:

shitfacedanon:

dat-soldier:

sonnetscrewdriver:

dat-soldier:

did-you-kno:

Source


back the fuck up

There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up.
So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him.
The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off.
Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes.


did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out

This just keeps getting better

I fucking love history.

ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok
so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yi… OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire.
The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponent’s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, y’know, kinda sucked.
On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like “shit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.” Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And that’s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap
When Sima Yi comes he’s all like “yo come on in bro”
and Sima Yi is like “yeah he’s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluff” and he’s about to head in when he realizes
wait. he knows that i think he’s bluffing.
and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like “he know that I know that he knows that etc.”), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave.
Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan was based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, there’s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat. 
and that’s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely just to deceive one man, and it worked.

Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his side’s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river.
Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy. 
Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then he’s like, ”Ok guys that’s enough.” They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemy’s arrows.
Zhuge Liang is legend.

I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History.

optimysticals: uovoc: konec0: sleepyferret: shitfacedanon: dat-soldier: sonnetscrewdriver: dat-soldier: did-you-kno: Source ba...

I Imgur Com: gypped: thebrazenegalitarianbraixen: sixpenceee: All of these mosquitos are trapped in this spider’s web! (Source) Doing god’s work need me a freak like this
I Imgur Com: gypped:
thebrazenegalitarianbraixen:

sixpenceee:

All of these mosquitos are trapped in this spider’s web! (Source)

Doing god’s work


need me a freak like this

gypped: thebrazenegalitarianbraixen: sixpenceee: All of these mosquitos are trapped in this spider’s web! (Source) Doing god’s work...

I Imgur Com: thepowersofthemind: sixpenceee: Clouds look like incoming tsunami. From here Earth is really mad at us
I Imgur Com: thepowersofthemind:

sixpenceee:

Clouds look like incoming tsunami. From here

Earth is really mad at us

thepowersofthemind: sixpenceee: Clouds look like incoming tsunami. From here Earth is really mad at us