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Alive, Beard, and Children: feniczoroark: minority-cubed: princemetalthunder: skrill-cosby: drucila616: How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?WITNESS: My name is Susan!_______________________________ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?WITNESS: No, I just lie there.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?WITNESS: July 18th.ATTORNEY: What year?WITNESS: Every year._____________________________________ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?WITNESS: Forty-five years._________________________________ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?WITNESS: I forget..ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?____________________________________ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?WITNESS: Are you shitting me?_________________________________________ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?WITNESS: Getting laid____________________________________________ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: How many were boys?WITNESS: None.ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?____________________________________________ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?WITNESS: By death..ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?WITNESS: Take a guess.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beardATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male._____________________________________ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.______________________________________ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight._________________________________________ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?WITNESS: Oral…_________________________________________ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PMATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?______________________________________And last:ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?WITNESS: No..ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. oh my god these are great fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes The last one is how I feel about all my schoolmates I can feel the frustration
Alive, Beard, and Children: feniczoroark:

minority-cubed:

princemetalthunder:

skrill-cosby:

drucila616:

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?WITNESS: My name is Susan!_______________________________ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?WITNESS: No, I just lie there.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?WITNESS: July 18th.ATTORNEY: What year?WITNESS: Every year._____________________________________ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?WITNESS: Forty-five years._________________________________ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?WITNESS: I forget..ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?____________________________________ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?WITNESS: Are you shitting me?_________________________________________ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?WITNESS: Getting laid____________________________________________ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: How many were boys?WITNESS: None.ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?____________________________________________ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?WITNESS: By death..ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?WITNESS: Take a guess.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beardATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male._____________________________________ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.______________________________________ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight._________________________________________ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?WITNESS: Oral…_________________________________________ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PMATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?______________________________________And last:ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?WITNESS: No..ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

oh my god these are great

fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes


The last one is how I feel about all my schoolmates

I can feel the frustration

feniczoroark: minority-cubed: princemetalthunder: skrill-cosby: drucila616: How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?These are from a...

Advice, Af, and Beautiful: About an hour ago, I was in Walmart looking for my conditioner because today is wash day for my hair. As I'm looking for my product, this older white lady approaches me and she says, "Excuse me, miss. Please don't be offended by this." And usually when white people tell me not to be offended, 9 times out of 10, whatever they are about to say is going to be offensive af Anyway, she follows it up with, "My husband and I just recently won our custody battle with our foster daughter and she means the world to us. She's a beautiful African American girl and her hair looks a lot like yours. But I'm afraid because I don't know what to do with her hair It's a lot different from mines and our other children and we are at a total loss. l've tried looking up the YouTube videos and my husband went to the braiding shops so they can teach him how to properly braid her hair, but he's still pretty new and it will be a while before he gets used to it. Do you have any tips you can give me? If you don't have the time, it's okay, really! I just needed a little advice because I want her to look beautiful." Y'all. swear I almost started crying on aisle 6. So for the last 30 minutes, I spent my time talking to her and what products to use and how to properly detangle and comb her hair with the proper tools and what not to do with natural hair. And I showed her a bunch of easier to fol- low natural hair tutorials on YouTube and saved them for her. (I also had to create a YouTube account for her so she could save it for later.) but omfg, she was so sweet, and I could tell that she listened to every single thing I had to say and she took little notes on her little notepad. And what really filled my heart was the fact that her husband actually taking classes from African braiding shops. And she showed me a picture of him wearing a little sweater vest and loafers in a little shop surrounded by beautiful black women showing him how to braid black hair and even the lady he's braiding on is guiding his hands. And omfg. Bless these old white people and their black daughter who l know have new loving parents because they are willing to step out of their comfort zone just to make her feel and look beautiful. This is a little long but TOTALLY worth the read!
Advice, Af, and Beautiful: About an hour ago, I was in Walmart looking
 for my conditioner because today is wash day
 for my hair. As I'm looking for my product, this
 older white lady approaches me and she says,
 "Excuse me, miss. Please don't be offended by
 this." And usually when white people tell me not
 to be offended, 9 times out of 10, whatever they
 are about to say is going to be offensive af
 Anyway, she follows it up with, "My husband
 and I just recently won our custody battle with
 our foster daughter and she means the world
 to us. She's a beautiful African American girl
 and her hair looks a lot like yours. But I'm afraid
 because I don't know what to do with her hair
 It's a lot different from mines and our other
 children and we are at a total loss. l've tried
 looking up the YouTube videos and my husband
 went to the braiding shops so they can teach
 him how to properly braid her hair, but he's still
 pretty new and it will be a while before he gets
 used to it. Do you have any tips you can give
 me? If you don't have the time, it's okay, really! I
 just needed a little advice because I want her to
 look beautiful."
 Y'all. swear I almost started crying on aisle 6. So
 for the last 30 minutes, I spent my time talking
 to her and what products to use and how to
 properly detangle and comb her hair with the
 proper tools and what not to do with natural
 hair. And I showed her a bunch of easier to fol-
 low natural hair tutorials on YouTube and saved
 them for her. (I also had to create a YouTube
 account for her so she could save it for later.)
 but omfg, she was so sweet, and I could tell that
 she listened to every single thing I had to say
 and she took little notes on her little notepad.
 And what really filled my heart was the fact
 that her husband actually taking classes from
 African braiding shops. And she showed me a
 picture of him wearing a little sweater vest and
 loafers in a little shop surrounded by beautiful
 black women showing him how to braid black
 hair and even the lady he's braiding on is
 guiding his hands. And omfg. Bless these old
 white people and their black daughter who l
 know have new loving parents because they are
 willing to step out of their comfort zone just to
 make her feel and look beautiful.
This is a little long but TOTALLY worth the read!

This is a little long but TOTALLY worth the read!

Target, Tumblr, and Blog: meldoesthedraw: BIG congrats to Mr Ratburn his husband!!! I wish them all the happiness in the world💕💕 ;-;
Target, Tumblr, and Blog: meldoesthedraw:
BIG congrats to Mr Ratburn  his husband!!!
I wish them all the happiness in the world💕💕 ;-;

meldoesthedraw: BIG congrats to Mr Ratburn his husband!!! I wish them all the happiness in the world💕💕 ;-;

Target, Tumblr, and Blog: meldoesthedraw: BIG congrats to Mr Ratburn his husband!!! I wish them all the happiness in the world💕💕 ;-;
Target, Tumblr, and Blog: meldoesthedraw:
BIG congrats to Mr Ratburn  his husband!!!
I wish them all the happiness in the world💕💕 ;-;

meldoesthedraw: BIG congrats to Mr Ratburn his husband!!! I wish them all the happiness in the world💕💕 ;-;

Books, Friends, and Guns: CBS News @CBSNews BREAKING: Abortions after six weeks will now be illegal in Georgia as Gov. Kemp signs the "heartbeat bill" cbsn.ws/2JmzeAg 11:05 AM May 7, 2019 Sprinklr 568 Retweets 1.1K Likes snowy2989: skykull: sleepyowlet: bonkai-diaries: she-lives-in-my-lap: classyblacksoul: adriennegabriella: classyblacksoul: Wtf most women don’r even know they are pregnant at 6 weeks. This is violence. Keep reading Ever notice how it’s never the time to talk about guns–even though NOBODY is immune to a bullet–but it’s always time to talk about abortions and new bills to stop them? They really should say they hate women and go. Fuckin idiots smh IT GETS WORSE: I propose a post-natal abortion for every fucker who voted for this bill. As a Georgian, this terrifies me. My husband and I are shocked. My friends are worried. But we can let Kemp know that we oppose this bill. https://gov.georgia.gov/contact-us Address:The Office of the GovernorState of Georgia203 State CapitolAtlanta, Georgia 30334 Mailing address:206 Washington StreetSuite 203, State CapitolAtlanta, GA 30334 Please, please let yourself be heard. Inform and organize others. We cannot change things by sitting around.  Everyone should be aware that this bill is already on the books in Ohio and other states. In Ohio it has no exceptions for rape or incest, either, irregardless of the victim’s age - there’s a rumor going around that there’s an 11-year-old in the northwest who’s legally unable to abort her pregnancy.
Books, Friends, and Guns: CBS News
 @CBSNews
 BREAKING: Abortions after six weeks will
 now be illegal in Georgia as Gov. Kemp
 signs the "heartbeat bill"
 cbsn.ws/2JmzeAg
 11:05 AM May 7, 2019 Sprinklr
 568 Retweets
 1.1K Likes
snowy2989:

skykull:

sleepyowlet:

bonkai-diaries:

she-lives-in-my-lap:

classyblacksoul:

adriennegabriella:

classyblacksoul:

Wtf most women don’r even know they are pregnant at 6 weeks. This is violence. Keep reading

Ever notice how it’s never the time to talk about guns–even though NOBODY is immune to a bullet–but it’s always time to talk about abortions and new bills to stop them? They really should say they hate women and go.



Fuckin idiots smh

IT GETS WORSE:

I propose a post-natal abortion for every fucker who voted for this bill.

As a Georgian, this terrifies me. My husband and I are shocked. My friends are worried. But we can let Kemp know that we oppose this bill.
https://gov.georgia.gov/contact-us
Address:The Office of the GovernorState of Georgia203 State CapitolAtlanta, Georgia 30334
Mailing address:206 Washington StreetSuite 203, State CapitolAtlanta, GA 30334

Please, please let yourself be heard. Inform and organize others. We cannot change things by sitting around. 


Everyone should be aware that this bill is already on the books in Ohio and other states. In Ohio it has no exceptions for rape or incest, either, irregardless of the victim’s age - there’s a rumor going around that there’s an 11-year-old in the northwest who’s legally unable to abort her pregnancy.

snowy2989: skykull: sleepyowlet: bonkai-diaries: she-lives-in-my-lap: classyblacksoul: adriennegabriella: classyblacksoul: Wtf most ...