Oan
Oan

Oan

Threes
Threes

Threes

Equalism
Equalism

Equalism

Hey Mom
Hey Mom

Hey Mom

Its
Its

Its

Rowing
Rowing

Rowing

And
And

And

Iamed
Iamed

Iamed

Cute Corgi
Cute Corgi

Cute Corgi

accidentally
 accidentally

accidentally

🔥 | Latest

howling: People Can't Handle The Way Morrissey Describes A Boner In His Novel A bulbous salutation to you all. posted on Sept. 24, 2015, at 9:52 a.m Alan White BuzzFeed News Reporter, UK So, during a sex scene in Morrissey's recently published novel List of the Lost, this happens. Eliza's breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra's howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza's body except for the otherwise central zone." 03 thebibliosphere: doebarnes: mugsandpugs: jottingprosaist: shredsandpatches: hedwig-dordt: naznomad: martingoresangst: Thats the weirdest erotic sentence i’ve read all month this fucking post singlehandedly ruined my life You don’t really appreciate how fucking great fan fic is when it comes to writing sex untill you stop to recognise how Serious Literary Stars fail at writing sex. DO A BARREL ROLL #in all my years of reading fic i have never encountered a sentence this terrible #did he just say that his dick smacked EVERY MUSCLE in her body except you know her vagina? #like I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE CHEEK I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE SHOULDER I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE CALF #what is your dick doing?? #how do you think sex works morrissey?? Forget what his dick is doing, what are her breasts doing? How do a pair of fat sacks attached to a ribcage barrel-roll anywhere? Let alone across a man’s mouth and then his wanger immediately after? Sir, why is your mouth so dong-adjacent? Is your weiner detachable, is that it? Do you have your joystick clutched in your hand so that you can score a sweet schlong-to-titty-roll immediately after a kiss and then proceed to beat your banana all over her body in the world’s most failed attempt at erotic massage??? HOW DO YOU THINK SEX WORKS??? … guys ….. Are the sex scenes in My Immortal better than this?“HE PUT HIS THINGY IN MY YOU-KNOW-WHAT AND WE HAD SEX.” … I mean. Comparatively… Like, in My Immortal, it’s at least implied he knows where he’s supposed to put it. It’s very simplistic, Ikea-style sex (insert tab A into slot B) but that’s better than this vague, useless composition of random, nonsensical placement and movement of body parts. So yes, the sex in My Immortal is, in this sense, better. @goddessemily   was it this post?
 howling: People Can't Handle The
 Way Morrissey Describes A
 Boner In His Novel
 A bulbous salutation to you all.
 posted on Sept. 24, 2015, at 9:52 a.m
 Alan White
 BuzzFeed News Reporter, UK
 So, during a sex scene in Morrissey's
 recently published novel List of the
 Lost, this happens.
 Eliza's breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra's
 howling mouth and the pained frenzy of
 his bulbous salutation extenuating his
 excitement as it smacked its way into
 every muscle of Eliza's body except for
 the otherwise central zone."
 03
thebibliosphere:

doebarnes:

mugsandpugs:

jottingprosaist:

shredsandpatches:

hedwig-dordt:

naznomad:

martingoresangst:

Thats the weirdest erotic sentence i’ve read all month

this fucking post singlehandedly ruined my life

You don’t really appreciate how fucking great fan fic is when it comes to writing sex untill you stop to recognise how Serious Literary Stars fail at writing sex.

DO A BARREL ROLL



#in all my years of reading fic i have never encountered a sentence this terrible #did he just say that his dick smacked EVERY MUSCLE in her body except you know her vagina? #like I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE CHEEK I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE SHOULDER I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE CALF #what is your dick doing?? #how do you think sex works morrissey??


Forget what his dick is doing, what are her breasts doing? How do a pair of fat sacks attached to a ribcage barrel-roll anywhere? Let alone across a man’s mouth and then his wanger immediately after? Sir, why is your mouth so dong-adjacent? Is your weiner detachable, is that it? Do you have your joystick clutched in your hand so that you can score a sweet schlong-to-titty-roll immediately after a kiss and then proceed to beat your banana all over her body in the world’s most failed attempt at erotic massage??? HOW DO YOU THINK SEX WORKS???

… guys
….. Are the sex scenes in My Immortal better than this?“HE PUT HIS THINGY IN MY YOU-KNOW-WHAT AND WE HAD SEX.”
… I mean. Comparatively…

Like, in My Immortal, it’s at least implied he knows where he’s supposed to put it. It’s very simplistic, Ikea-style sex (insert tab A into slot B) but that’s better than this vague, useless composition of random, nonsensical placement and movement of body parts.

So yes, the sex in My Immortal is, in this sense, better.


@goddessemily   was it this post?

thebibliosphere: doebarnes: mugsandpugs: jottingprosaist: shredsandpatches: hedwig-dordt: naznomad: martingoresangst: Thats the w...

howling: 4:00:56 4:01:40 4:01:26 4:02:14 4:02:51 Sitting and Smiling #218 19,974 views 2 days ago Sitting and Smiling #217 19,961 views 4 days ago Sitting and Smiling #216 12,200 views 5 days ago Sitting and Smiling #215 12,609 views 6 days ago Sitting and Smiling #214 37,252 views 1 week ago 4:02:37 4:01:40 4:02:32 4:02:41 4:02:16 Sitting and Smiling #213 30,742 views 2 weeks ago Sitting and Smiling #212 17,316 views 3 weeks ago Sitting and Smiling #211 18,850 views 3 weeks ago Sitting and Smiling #210 19,544 views 3 weeks ago Sitting and Smiling #209 35,082 views 1 month ago 4:01:55 4:01:31 4:01:11 4:02:42 4:03:56 Sitting and Smiling #208 25,193 views 1 month ago Sitting and Smiling #207 88,097 views 1 month ago Sitting and Smiling #206 20,924 views 1 month ago Sitting and Smiling #205 17,728 views 1 month ago Sitting and Smiling #204 36,343 views 1 month ago thefingerfuckingfemalefury: phoneus: every1one: moonlandingwasfaked: jasper-rolls: today in “youtube’s recommendation algorithm completely misunderstands what i’m interested in”: i am recommended a channel consisting entirely of livestreams of a creepy dude sitting in a corner and just staring at the camera for 4 hours, 3 times a week a robber broke into his house and he didn’t stop recording and the robber got so creeped out he left. the video is on his YouTube somewhere https://youtu.be/tmrXakd_r6I?t=9391 here “This episode of Sitting and Smiling features a very special guest.About 2.5 hours into the webcast, I hear someone come into thehouse, which is odd, because my only housemate is at work, and we aren’t expecting anyone. I realize I didn’t check to see if the doors were locked before starting the webcast. I hear the person stealthily moving around the house, and then I hear them stealthily climbing the stairs, towards my room. My door opens, and I hear an unfamiliar malevoice say “Hello?”. Then, after presumably seeing me sitting still and smiling in front of a camera, lit from beneath by a florescent bulb, he promptly descends the stairs and exits the house. You can see this happen at 2:36:30 As it turns out, the doors were locked, and he had broken one open. We found nothing missing, as there is not really anything of value in the house other than the laptop I was using to webcast.“ I’m howling The robber legitimately thinks they just walked into a creepypasta and they made the wise choice of getting the hell out of there
 howling: 4:00:56
 4:01:40
 4:01:26
 4:02:14
 4:02:51
 Sitting and Smiling #218
 19,974 views 2 days ago
 Sitting and Smiling #217
 19,961 views 4 days ago
 Sitting and Smiling #216
 12,200 views 5 days ago
 Sitting and Smiling #215
 12,609 views 6 days ago
 Sitting and Smiling #214
 37,252 views 1 week ago
 4:02:37
 4:01:40
 4:02:32
 4:02:41
 4:02:16
 Sitting and Smiling #213
 30,742 views 2 weeks ago
 Sitting and Smiling #212
 17,316 views 3 weeks ago
 Sitting and Smiling #211
 18,850 views 3 weeks ago
 Sitting and Smiling #210
 19,544 views 3 weeks ago
 Sitting and Smiling #209
 35,082 views 1 month ago
 4:01:55
 4:01:31
 4:01:11
 4:02:42
 4:03:56
 Sitting and Smiling #208
 25,193 views 1 month ago
 Sitting and Smiling #207
 88,097 views 1 month ago
 Sitting and Smiling #206
 20,924 views 1 month ago
 Sitting and Smiling #205
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 Sitting and Smiling #204
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thefingerfuckingfemalefury:
phoneus:

every1one:

moonlandingwasfaked:

jasper-rolls:

today in “youtube’s recommendation algorithm completely misunderstands what i’m interested in”: i am recommended a channel consisting entirely of livestreams of a creepy dude sitting in a corner and just staring at the camera for 4 hours, 3 times a week

a robber broke into his house and he didn’t stop recording and the robber got so creeped out he left. the video is on his YouTube somewhere

https://youtu.be/tmrXakd_r6I?t=9391 here

“This episode of Sitting and Smiling features a very special guest.About 2.5 hours into the webcast, I hear someone come into thehouse, which is odd, because my only housemate is at work, and we aren’t expecting anyone. I realize I didn’t check to see if the doors were locked before starting the webcast. I hear the person stealthily moving around the house, and then I hear them stealthily climbing the stairs, towards my room. My door opens, and I hear an unfamiliar malevoice say “Hello?”. Then, after presumably seeing me sitting still and smiling in front of a camera, lit from beneath by a florescent bulb, he promptly descends the stairs and exits the house.
You can see this happen at 2:36:30
As it turns out, the doors were locked, and he had broken one open. We found nothing missing, as there is not really anything of value in the house other than the laptop I was using to webcast.“
I’m howling

The robber legitimately thinks they just walked into a creepypasta and they made the wise choice of getting the hell out of there

thefingerfuckingfemalefury: phoneus: every1one: moonlandingwasfaked: jasper-rolls: today in “youtube’s recommendation algorithm compl...

howling: Beagle puppy howling on command!!
 howling: Beagle puppy howling on command!!

Beagle puppy howling on command!!

howling: Cute Corgi howling! ?
 howling: Cute Corgi howling! ?

Cute Corgi howling! ?

howling: Nic Sampson @NicSampson A lot of people have been asking about my infamous playlist for having sex so here you go FOR HAVING SEX SHUFFLE PLAY Download Girl EXPLICIT The Internet, KAYTRANADA Ego Death Let's Get It Started The Black Eyed Peas . Let's Get It Started Come Over Here Joshua Ticsay Rhythm and Greens Lie Down EXPLICIT James Arthur James Arthur (Deluxe) On My Bed My Revolver. My Revolver Take Off Your Dress Clifton Chenier Bogalusa Boogie Wait NoMBe. Wait Girl The Internet Devices Available Home Browse Search Radio Your Library FOR HAVING SEX SHUFFLE PLAY What's That Sound The Beatangers Get Up Everybody EP In the Wardrobe Trip Inside Me Open One of the Doors I Heard An Owl Carrie Newcomer The Gathering Of Spirits Oh Shit! Eptic, FuntCase. Rampage She Keeps Bees Eight Houses Attacking Me The Sharpee's . Strangers Scratching and Screaming Chelsea Grin Self Inflicted (Deluxe Edition) Swooping Matthew O'Nei Cabinamaneous Girl The Internet ) Devices Available Home Browse Search Radio Your Library FOR HAVING SEX SHUFFLE PLAY Clawing My Skull the Stupid Stupid Henchmen . Carbombs Are Cool Get Out Fly My Pretties The Return of Fly My Pretties Oh Shit!! EXPLICIT Injury Reserve Floss More Jess Best Kid Agairn Owls SwuM . Runway Everywhere Michelle Branch . The Spirit Room (U.S. Version) EXPLICIT Kendrick Lamar. Disturbed Achtung Samurai We Are. The Nest Girl The Internet Devices Available Home Browse Search Radio Your Library FOR HAVING SEX SHUFFLE PLAY Save Yourself, l'll Hold Them Back EXPLICIT My Chemical Romance Danger Days: The True Hooting & Howling Wild Beasts Two Dancers Owls. Shadows. Tears. Epik High [e]motion Screams Blue Oyster Cult Blue Oyster Cult Then Brad Paisley American Saturday Night Nothing The Script . Science & Faith Nothing but the Rain Carcer City Infinite // Unknown and EXPLICIT EDEN. i think you think too much of me Owl Hoots and Insects at Night Girl. The Internet ) Devices Available Home Browse Search Radio Your Library
 howling: Nic Sampson
 @NicSampson
 A lot of people have been asking about
 my infamous playlist for having sex so
 here you go

 FOR HAVING SEX
 SHUFFLE PLAY
 Download
 Girl
 EXPLICIT The Internet, KAYTRANADA Ego Death
 Let's Get It Started
 The Black Eyed Peas . Let's Get It Started
 Come Over Here
 Joshua Ticsay Rhythm and Greens
 Lie Down
 EXPLICIT James Arthur James Arthur (Deluxe)
 On My Bed
 My Revolver. My Revolver
 Take Off Your Dress
 Clifton Chenier Bogalusa Boogie
 Wait
 NoMBe. Wait
 Girl The Internet
 Devices Available
 Home
 Browse
 Search
 Radio
 Your Library

 FOR HAVING SEX
 SHUFFLE PLAY
 What's That Sound
 The Beatangers Get Up Everybody EP
 In the Wardrobe
 Trip Inside Me Open One of the Doors
 I Heard An Owl
 Carrie Newcomer The Gathering Of Spirits
 Oh Shit!
 Eptic, FuntCase. Rampage
 She Keeps Bees Eight Houses
 Attacking Me
 The Sharpee's . Strangers
 Scratching and Screaming
 Chelsea Grin Self Inflicted (Deluxe Edition)
 Swooping
 Matthew O'Nei Cabinamaneous
 Girl The Internet
 ) Devices Available
 Home
 Browse
 Search
 Radio
 Your Library

 FOR HAVING SEX
 SHUFFLE PLAY
 Clawing My Skull
 the Stupid Stupid Henchmen . Carbombs Are Cool
 Get Out
 Fly My Pretties The Return of Fly My Pretties
 Oh Shit!!
 EXPLICIT Injury Reserve Floss
 More
 Jess Best Kid Agairn
 Owls
 SwuM . Runway
 Everywhere
 Michelle Branch . The Spirit Room (U.S. Version)
 EXPLICIT Kendrick Lamar.
 Disturbed
 Achtung Samurai We Are.
 The Nest
 Girl The Internet
 Devices Available
 Home
 Browse
 Search
 Radio
 Your Library

 FOR HAVING SEX
 SHUFFLE PLAY
 Save Yourself, l'll Hold Them Back
 EXPLICIT My Chemical Romance Danger Days: The True
 Hooting & Howling
 Wild Beasts Two Dancers
 Owls. Shadows. Tears.
 Epik High [e]motion
 Screams
 Blue Oyster Cult Blue Oyster Cult
 Then
 Brad Paisley American Saturday Night
 Nothing
 The Script . Science & Faith
 Nothing but the Rain
 Carcer City Infinite // Unknown
 and
 EXPLICIT EDEN. i think you think too much of me
 Owl Hoots and Insects at Night
 Girl. The Internet
 ) Devices Available
 Home
 Browse
 Search
 Radio
 Your Library