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Baked, Dad, and Fail: theguilteaparty So my mom told me a story... Growing up, my mom and her siblings would make banana bread every week. Literally every week since the first one of them learned how to make it, they started making banana bread- lo and behold though, they liked it with walnuts and they all knew their dad hated walnuts. So they made a special loaf of banana bread just for him every week, just for him to eat. Nobody else was allowed to eat it because that was his banana bread, baked especially for him. So anyways, they did this once a week from middle school up until every last one of them moved out of the house (and considering there was at least 10 years difference from the oldest to the youngest, this was quite some time). So that's like... 16 years of weekly banana bread. And he always finished it. He, without fail, ate the whole loaf of bread by himself. That's approximately 835 loaves of banana bread. Now Skip ahead a few years... and they're all visiting and baking banana bread and they start making a dad's bread and their mom comes in, "I don't think he can handle eating one more slice of banana bread!" "What are you talking about? He loves banana bread! He had it all the time!" This is when my grandma, their mom, broke the news that my grandfather loathed banana bread with every fiber of his being. He just adored that his kids loved him enough to make him a special loaf of banana bread every week (and he didn't have the heart to tell them that he couldn't stand banana bread) and he was incredibly, utterly upset that my grandma told the kids his big secret. My grandfather was a loving, patient, gentle man who absolutely hated banana bread but loved his kids so much more and I just wanted to share that with you guys. I think this story is just about the perfect example of the kind of person he was. Dad and the Banana Bread
Baked, Dad, and Fail: theguilteaparty
 So my mom told me a story...
 Growing up, my mom and her siblings would
 make banana bread every week.
 Literally every week since the first one of them
 learned how to make it, they started making
 banana bread- lo and behold though, they liked
 it with walnuts and they all knew their dad
 hated walnuts.
 So they made a special loaf of banana bread
 just for him every week, just for him to eat.
 Nobody else was allowed to eat it because that
 was his banana bread, baked especially for
 him.
 So anyways, they did this once a week from
 middle school up until every last one of them
 moved out of the house (and considering there
 was at least 10 years difference from the oldest
 to the youngest, this was quite some time). So
 that's like... 16 years of weekly banana bread.
 And he always finished it. He, without fail, ate
 the whole loaf of bread by himself.
 That's approximately 835 loaves of banana
 bread.
 Now
 Skip ahead a few years...
 and they're all visiting and baking banana bread
 and they start making a dad's bread and their
 mom comes in, "I don't think he can handle
 eating one more slice of banana bread!"
 "What are you talking about? He loves banana
 bread! He had it all the time!"
 This is when my grandma, their mom, broke the
 news that my grandfather loathed banana
 bread with every fiber of his being. He just
 adored that his kids loved him enough to make
 him a special loaf of banana bread every week
 (and he didn't have the heart to tell them that
 he couldn't stand banana bread) and he was
 incredibly, utterly upset that my grandma told
 the kids his big secret.
 My grandfather was a loving, patient, gentle
 man who absolutely hated banana bread but
 loved his kids so much more and I just wanted
 to share that with you guys. I think this story is
 just about the perfect example of the kind of
 person he was.
Dad and the Banana Bread

Dad and the Banana Bread

America, God, and Head: penfairy Throwback to the time my poor German teacher had to explain the concept of formal and informal pronouns to a class full of Australians and everyone was scandalised and loudly complained "why can't I treat everyone the same?" " don't want to be a Sie!" "but being friendly is respectful! "wouldn't using du' just show I like them?" until one guy conceded "I suppose maybe l'd use Sie with someone like the prime minister, if he weren't such a cunt" and my teacher ended up with her head in her hands saying "you are all banned from using du until I can trust you Cdeflare God help Japanese teachers in Australia. languageoclock if this isnt an accurate representation of australia idk what is derinthemadscientist Australia's reverse-formality respect culture is fascinating. We don't even really think about it until we try to communicate or learn about another culture and the rules that are pretty standard for most of the world just feel so wrong. I went to America this one time and I kept automatically thinking that strangers using 'sir' and 'ma'am' were sassing me. Australians could not be trusted with a language with ingrained tiers of formal address. The most formal forms would immediately become synonyms for 'go fuck yourself and if you weren't using the most informal version possible within three sentences of meeting someone they'd take it to mean you hated them. hollowedskin 100% true. the difference between "scuse me" and "excuse me" is a fistfight Source: penfairy Stay awake at FUNSubstance.com AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE OUI OUI OUI
America, God, and Head: penfairy
 Throwback to the time my poor German teacher had to
 explain the concept of formal and informal pronouns to a
 class full of Australians and everyone was scandalised and
 loudly complained "why can't I treat everyone the same?" "
 don't want to be a Sie!" "but being friendly is respectful!
 "wouldn't using du' just show I like them?" until one guy
 conceded "I suppose maybe l'd use Sie with someone like the
 prime minister, if he weren't such a cunt" and my teacher
 ended up with her head in her hands saying "you are all
 banned from using du until I can trust you
 Cdeflare
 God help Japanese teachers in Australia.
 languageoclock
 if this isnt an accurate representation of australia idk what is
 derinthemadscientist
 Australia's reverse-formality respect culture is fascinating. We
 don't even really think about it until we try to communicate or
 learn about another culture and the rules that are pretty
 standard for most of the world just feel so wrong. I went to
 America this one time and I kept automatically thinking that
 strangers using 'sir' and 'ma'am' were sassing me.
 Australians could not be trusted with a language with
 ingrained tiers of formal address. The most formal forms
 would immediately become synonyms for 'go fuck yourself
 and if you weren't using the most informal version possible
 within three sentences of meeting someone they'd take it to
 mean you hated them.
 hollowedskin
 100% true.
 the difference between "scuse me" and "excuse me" is a
 fistfight
 Source: penfairy
 Stay awake at FUNSubstance.com
AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE OUI OUI OUI

AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE OUI OUI OUI

Friends, Gif, and Lazy: LUXURY TAX ALK PARK PLACE PAY $75.00 phan-is-sempiternal: mousathe14: gehayi: profeminist: Tampons are a “luxury item” Once I worked as an intern in the state capital. One of the representatives I worked for was this middle-aged guy. And he hated the tampon and napkin machines in the women’s bathrooms. Hated them. He insisted that they weren’t necessary. I found out why after I’d been working there, oh, about a month. My period started suddenly, as it sometimes does, and I asked to excuse myself to go to the ladies’ room. He wanted to know why. I told him. He started ranting about how lazy women were. How we wasted time. How we were so careless and unhygenic, and that there was no call for that. He finished by telling me that I certainly was NOT going to the ladies’ room and that I was just going to sit there and work. He finished this off with a decisive nod, as if I’d just been told and there could be no possible argument. “If I don’t go,” I said in an overly patient tone, “the blood is going to soak through my pants, stain my new skirt that I just bought, and possibly get on this chair I’m sitting in. I need something to soak up the blood. That’s why I need to go to the bathroom.” His face turned oatmeal-gray; an expression of pure horror spread across his face. He leaned forward and whispered, “Wait, you mean that if you don’t go, you’ll just keep on bleeding? I thought that women could turn it off any time that they wanted!” I thought,  You have got to be kidding. Several horrified whispers later, I learned that he wasn’t. He actually thought a) that women could shut down the menstrual cycle at will, b) that we essentially picked a week per month to spend more time in the bathroom, i.e. to goof off, and c) that napkins and tampons were sex toys paid for by Health and Human Services. I didn’t know the term then, but he believed that tampons were dildos. Which was why he and a good number of his friends considered them luxuries. And that’s how, at twenty, I had to give a talk on menstruation to a middle-aged married state representative who was one of my bosses. American politics, ladies and gentlemen. That’s.., that’s insane. what the fuck did i just read
Friends, Gif, and Lazy: LUXURY
 TAX
 ALK
 PARK
 PLACE
 PAY $75.00
phan-is-sempiternal:

mousathe14:

gehayi:

profeminist:

Tampons are a “luxury item”

Once I worked as an intern in the state capital. One of the representatives I worked for was this middle-aged guy. And he hated the tampon and napkin machines in the women’s bathrooms. Hated them. He insisted that they weren’t necessary.
I found out why after I’d been working there, oh, about a month. My period started suddenly, as it sometimes does, and I asked to excuse myself to go to the ladies’ room. He wanted to know why. I told him.
He started ranting about how lazy women were. How we wasted time. How we were so careless and unhygenic, and that there was no call for that. He finished by telling me that I certainly was NOT going to the ladies’ room and that I was just going to sit there and work. He finished this off with a decisive nod, as if I’d just been told and there could be no possible argument.
“If I don’t go,” I said in an overly patient tone, “the blood is going to soak through my pants, stain my new skirt that I just bought, and possibly get on this chair I’m sitting in. I need something to soak up the blood. That’s why I need to go to the bathroom.”
His face turned oatmeal-gray; an expression of pure horror spread across his face. He leaned forward and whispered, “Wait, you mean that if you don’t go, you’ll just keep on bleeding? I thought that women could turn it off any time that they wanted!”
I thought,  You have got to be kidding.
Several horrified whispers later, I learned that he wasn’t. He actually thought a) that women could shut down the menstrual cycle at will, b) that we essentially picked a week per month to spend more time in the bathroom, i.e. to goof off, and c) that napkins and tampons were sex toys paid for by Health and Human Services. I didn’t know the term then, but he believed that tampons were dildos. Which was why he and a good number of his friends considered them luxuries.
And that’s how, at twenty, I had to give a talk on menstruation to a middle-aged married state representative who was one of my bosses. American politics, ladies and gentlemen.

That’s.., that’s insane.

what the fuck did i just read

phan-is-sempiternal: mousathe14: gehayi: profeminist: Tampons are a “luxury item” Once I worked as an intern in the state capital. One ...

Be Like, Children, and Detroit: WIZARU speedoweedo on a list of dumb shit i know: the grass in the original shrek movie is not grass. its hair. they used hair textures for the grass bc the actual grass for some reason in their computer modelling programs would not behave like grass so they used hair textures colored green. speedoweedo elvis presley was a registered DEA officer who asked nixon for the title and was awarded it. ndiecity What else? WIZARD speedoweedo the great escape artist houdini was living in a time period where mysticism, fortune telling, ouija boards, seances and etc were becoming very common place and trendy. and he fucking hated it so much. so much that he would go to seances in disguise and make some bullshit off the wall shit like "my son died last year can you let me talk to him" and the seance person would be like 'THIS IS YOUR SON HELLO FATHER then he'd rip off his disguise and be like YOU FRAUD I HAVE NO CHILDREN. He died on Halloween night in detroit and as far as i know every year they hold seances on halloween trying to get in contact with his spirit. If seances work i bet his ghost is just pissed off and not responding out of raw spite speedoweedo foxes cant snarl like dogs and wolves cus the muscles in their muzzle dont allowe it so they just drop their jaws and scream. simon-newman Brain: *An extremely obscure fact from the subject I never studied in my life* Me: How the f*ck do we know this? Brain: I don't know! Both: *Screaming* lolpics/AstroFunny I really like some of these.
Be Like, Children, and Detroit: WIZARU
 speedoweedo
 on a list of dumb shit i know:
 the grass in the original shrek movie is not
 grass. its hair. they used hair textures for
 the grass bc the actual grass for some
 reason in their computer modelling
 programs would not behave like grass so
 they used hair textures colored green.
 speedoweedo
 elvis presley was a registered DEA officer
 who asked nixon for the title and was
 awarded it.
 ndiecity
 What else?
 WIZARD
 speedoweedo
 the great escape artist houdini was living in
 a time period where mysticism, fortune
 telling, ouija boards, seances and etc were
 becoming very common place and trendy.
 and he fucking hated it so much. so much
 that he would go to seances in disguise
 and make some bullshit off the wall shit like
 "my son died last year can you let me talk
 to him" and the seance person would be
 like 'THIS IS YOUR SON HELLO FATHER
 then he'd rip off his disguise and be like
 YOU FRAUD I HAVE NO CHILDREN.
 He died on Halloween night in detroit and
 as far as i know every year they hold
 seances on halloween trying to get in
 contact with his spirit. If seances work i bet
 his ghost is just pissed off and not
 responding out of raw spite
 speedoweedo
 foxes cant snarl like dogs and wolves cus
 the muscles in their muzzle dont allowe it
 so they just drop their jaws and scream.
 simon-newman
 Brain: *An extremely obscure fact from the
 subject I never studied in my life*
 Me: How the f*ck do we know this?
 Brain: I don't know!
 Both: *Screaming*
 lolpics/AstroFunny
I really like some of these.

I really like some of these.