Icecream
Icecream

Icecream

Conservatives
Conservatives

Conservatives

Liquidized
Liquidized

Liquidized

Nationality
Nationality

Nationality

Hitted
Hitted

Hitted

i-cant-get
i-cant-get

i-cant-get

the mountain
 the mountain

the mountain

kill them
 kill them

kill them

manning
 manning

manning

floored
 floored

floored

🔥 | Latest

Cute, Definitely, and Fresh: Cool Shit That Can Actually Afford PART 3 PART3 0 Remote Controlled Tarantula $13.59 You could seriously scare the shit out of people with this one. Arachnophobia is one of the most common fears among people. l'o recommend using this on someone with headphones in. l've gathered from reviews that it makes a decent amount of noise. USB Thermoelectric Cooler & Warmer $14.99 It's a one can refrigerator. Simple, yet fucking awesome at the same time. It's better than a mini fridge because it makes you drink in moderation.. right? Giant Plush Microbes S9.99 -$19.99 Valentine's Day is coming up and I know some of you out there are single, but don't fret. Now you can give yourself chlamydia! You don't need to go dumpster diving at a sorority house to make friends with these cute little guys. Retron 3 SNES/NES/Genesis Game System $59.99 Yeah, I know."Holy shit peanutbitter this is sixty fucking dollars!" I get it, but I think that if you have the money, this would be a worthwhile investment. Those old consoles in our closets have seen better days. I think it would be nice to get a modern remake of all three in one. It's a hell of a lot cheaper than buying these three consoles back in their day LifeStraw Personal Water Filter $19.99 This could definitely be a life saver. It filters water as you suck it in.I might buy one of these and put it in my glove compartment in my car. If you get stuck in the middle of nowhere, it'd be nice to be able to drink straight from a fucking river iTouchless Bag Resealer $16.98 This is one of those inventions that was just a good fucking idea. Now you never have to go looking for that little chip clip thing that doesn't really work too well at keeping stuf fresh 4,500 Live Ladybugs $17.99 Honestly, I'm not really sure why anybody would want 4,500 ladybugs, but why the fuck not? They're only 18 dollars. That's about 0.4 cents per bug. novelty-gift-ideas:You can buy these stuffs here
Cute, Definitely, and Fresh: Cool Shit That
 Can
 Actually Afford
 PART 3
 PART3
 0
 Remote Controlled Tarantula
 $13.59
 You could seriously scare the shit out of
 people with this one. Arachnophobia is one
 of the most common fears among people. l'o
 recommend using this on someone with
 headphones in. l've gathered from reviews
 that it makes a decent amount of noise.

 USB Thermoelectric Cooler & Warmer
 $14.99
 It's a one can refrigerator. Simple, yet
 fucking awesome at the same time. It's
 better than a mini fridge because it makes
 you drink in moderation.. right?
 Giant Plush Microbes
 S9.99 -$19.99
 Valentine's Day is coming up and I know
 some of you out there are single, but don't
 fret. Now you can give yourself chlamydia!
 You don't need to go dumpster diving at a
 sorority house to make friends with these
 cute little guys.

 Retron 3 SNES/NES/Genesis Game System
 $59.99
 Yeah, I know."Holy shit peanutbitter this is
 sixty fucking dollars!" I get it, but I think that
 if you have the
 money, this would be a
 worthwhile investment. Those old consoles
 in our closets have seen better days. I think it
 would be nice to get a modern remake of all
 three in one. It's a hell of a lot cheaper than
 buying these three consoles back in their day
 LifeStraw Personal Water Filter
 $19.99
 This could definitely be a life saver. It filters
 water as you suck it in.I might buy one of
 these and put it in my glove compartment in
 my car. If you get stuck in the middle of
 nowhere, it'd be nice to be able to drink
 straight from a fucking river

 iTouchless Bag Resealer
 $16.98
 This is one of those inventions that was just a
 good fucking idea. Now you never have to go
 looking for that little chip clip thing that
 doesn't really work too well at keeping stuf
 fresh
 4,500 Live Ladybugs
 $17.99
 Honestly, I'm not really sure why anybody
 would want 4,500 ladybugs, but why the fuck
 not? They're only 18 dollars. That's about 0.4
 cents per bug.
novelty-gift-ideas:You can buy these stuffs here

novelty-gift-ideas:You can buy these stuffs here

Cute, Definitely, and Fresh: Cool Shit That Can Actually Afford PART 3 PART3 0 Remote Controlled Tarantula $13.59 You could seriously scare the shit out of people with this one. Arachnophobia is one of the most common fears among people. l'o recommend using this on someone with headphones in. l've gathered from reviews that it makes a decent amount of noise. USB Thermoelectric Cooler & Warmer $14.99 It's a one can refrigerator. Simple, yet fucking awesome at the same time. It's better than a mini fridge because it makes you drink in moderation.. right? Giant Plush Microbes S9.99 -$19.99 Valentine's Day is coming up and I know some of you out there are single, but don't fret. Now you can give yourself chlamydia! You don't need to go dumpster diving at a sorority house to make friends with these cute little guys. Retron 3 SNES/NES/Genesis Game System $59.99 Yeah, I know."Holy shit peanutbitter this is sixty fucking dollars!" I get it, but I think that if you have the money, this would be a worthwhile investment. Those old consoles in our closets have seen better days. I think it would be nice to get a modern remake of all three in one. It's a hell of a lot cheaper than buying these three consoles back in their day LifeStraw Personal Water Filter $19.99 This could definitely be a life saver. It filters water as you suck it in.I might buy one of these and put it in my glove compartment in my car. If you get stuck in the middle of nowhere, it'd be nice to be able to drink straight from a fucking river iTouchless Bag Resealer $16.98 This is one of those inventions that was just a good fucking idea. Now you never have to go looking for that little chip clip thing that doesn't really work too well at keeping stuf fresh 4,500 Live Ladybugs $17.99 Honestly, I'm not really sure why anybody would want 4,500 ladybugs, but why the fuck not? They're only 18 dollars. That's about 0.4 cents per bug. novelty-gift-ideas:You can buy these stuffs here
Cute, Definitely, and Fresh: Cool Shit That
 Can
 Actually Afford
 PART 3
 PART3
 0
 Remote Controlled Tarantula
 $13.59
 You could seriously scare the shit out of
 people with this one. Arachnophobia is one
 of the most common fears among people. l'o
 recommend using this on someone with
 headphones in. l've gathered from reviews
 that it makes a decent amount of noise.

 USB Thermoelectric Cooler & Warmer
 $14.99
 It's a one can refrigerator. Simple, yet
 fucking awesome at the same time. It's
 better than a mini fridge because it makes
 you drink in moderation.. right?
 Giant Plush Microbes
 S9.99 -$19.99
 Valentine's Day is coming up and I know
 some of you out there are single, but don't
 fret. Now you can give yourself chlamydia!
 You don't need to go dumpster diving at a
 sorority house to make friends with these
 cute little guys.

 Retron 3 SNES/NES/Genesis Game System
 $59.99
 Yeah, I know."Holy shit peanutbitter this is
 sixty fucking dollars!" I get it, but I think that
 if you have the
 money, this would be a
 worthwhile investment. Those old consoles
 in our closets have seen better days. I think it
 would be nice to get a modern remake of all
 three in one. It's a hell of a lot cheaper than
 buying these three consoles back in their day
 LifeStraw Personal Water Filter
 $19.99
 This could definitely be a life saver. It filters
 water as you suck it in.I might buy one of
 these and put it in my glove compartment in
 my car. If you get stuck in the middle of
 nowhere, it'd be nice to be able to drink
 straight from a fucking river

 iTouchless Bag Resealer
 $16.98
 This is one of those inventions that was just a
 good fucking idea. Now you never have to go
 looking for that little chip clip thing that
 doesn't really work too well at keeping stuf
 fresh
 4,500 Live Ladybugs
 $17.99
 Honestly, I'm not really sure why anybody
 would want 4,500 ladybugs, but why the fuck
 not? They're only 18 dollars. That's about 0.4
 cents per bug.
novelty-gift-ideas:You can buy these stuffs here

novelty-gift-ideas:You can buy these stuffs here

Cute, Definitely, and Fresh: Cool Shit That Can Actually Afford PART 3 PART3 0 Remote Controlled Tarantula $13.59 You could seriously scare the shit out of people with this one. Arachnophobia is one of the most common fears among people. l'o recommend using this on someone with headphones in. l've gathered from reviews that it makes a decent amount of noise. USB Thermoelectric Cooler & Warmer $14.99 It's a one can refrigerator. Simple, yet fucking awesome at the same time. It's better than a mini fridge because it makes you drink in moderation.. right? Giant Plush Microbes S9.99 -$19.99 Valentine's Day is coming up and I know some of you out there are single, but don't fret. Now you can give yourself chlamydia! You don't need to go dumpster diving at a sorority house to make friends with these cute little guys. Retron 3 SNES/NES/Genesis Game System $59.99 Yeah, I know."Holy shit peanutbitter this is sixty fucking dollars!" I get it, but I think that if you have the money, this would be a worthwhile investment. Those old consoles in our closets have seen better days. I think it would be nice to get a modern remake of all three in one. It's a hell of a lot cheaper than buying these three consoles back in their day LifeStraw Personal Water Filter $19.99 This could definitely be a life saver. It filters water as you suck it in.I might buy one of these and put it in my glove compartment in my car. If you get stuck in the middle of nowhere, it'd be nice to be able to drink straight from a fucking river iTouchless Bag Resealer $16.98 This is one of those inventions that was just a good fucking idea. Now you never have to go looking for that little chip clip thing that doesn't really work too well at keeping stuf fresh 4,500 Live Ladybugs $17.99 Honestly, I'm not really sure why anybody would want 4,500 ladybugs, but why the fuck not? They're only 18 dollars. That's about 0.4 cents per bug. novelty-gift-ideas:You can buy these stuffs here
Cute, Definitely, and Fresh: Cool Shit That
 Can
 Actually Afford
 PART 3
 PART3
 0
 Remote Controlled Tarantula
 $13.59
 You could seriously scare the shit out of
 people with this one. Arachnophobia is one
 of the most common fears among people. l'o
 recommend using this on someone with
 headphones in. l've gathered from reviews
 that it makes a decent amount of noise.

 USB Thermoelectric Cooler & Warmer
 $14.99
 It's a one can refrigerator. Simple, yet
 fucking awesome at the same time. It's
 better than a mini fridge because it makes
 you drink in moderation.. right?
 Giant Plush Microbes
 S9.99 -$19.99
 Valentine's Day is coming up and I know
 some of you out there are single, but don't
 fret. Now you can give yourself chlamydia!
 You don't need to go dumpster diving at a
 sorority house to make friends with these
 cute little guys.

 Retron 3 SNES/NES/Genesis Game System
 $59.99
 Yeah, I know."Holy shit peanutbitter this is
 sixty fucking dollars!" I get it, but I think that
 if you have the
 money, this would be a
 worthwhile investment. Those old consoles
 in our closets have seen better days. I think it
 would be nice to get a modern remake of all
 three in one. It's a hell of a lot cheaper than
 buying these three consoles back in their day
 LifeStraw Personal Water Filter
 $19.99
 This could definitely be a life saver. It filters
 water as you suck it in.I might buy one of
 these and put it in my glove compartment in
 my car. If you get stuck in the middle of
 nowhere, it'd be nice to be able to drink
 straight from a fucking river

 iTouchless Bag Resealer
 $16.98
 This is one of those inventions that was just a
 good fucking idea. Now you never have to go
 looking for that little chip clip thing that
 doesn't really work too well at keeping stuf
 fresh
 4,500 Live Ladybugs
 $17.99
 Honestly, I'm not really sure why anybody
 would want 4,500 ladybugs, but why the fuck
 not? They're only 18 dollars. That's about 0.4
 cents per bug.
novelty-gift-ideas:You can buy these stuffs here

novelty-gift-ideas:You can buy these stuffs here

Tumblr, Blog, and Giant: Ot SUS thecutestcatever: cutecatpics: tiny foster kitten, GIANT YAWN Source: mreezyo on catpictures. @toastycursedcats @cursed-kat-images What dat tongue do 👅
Tumblr, Blog, and Giant: Ot
 SUS
thecutestcatever:

cutecatpics:

tiny foster kitten, GIANT YAWN Source: mreezyo on catpictures.

@toastycursedcats @cursed-kat-images 

What dat tongue do 👅

thecutestcatever: cutecatpics: tiny foster kitten, GIANT YAWN Source: mreezyo on catpictures. @toastycursedcats @cursed-kat-images What...

Ass, Crazy, and Fucking: Anonymous said to spill-the-gender-tea: things I've picked up on that are pretty tumblr are BIG eyes with a ton of eyelashes, sparkles in eyes, and everyone has painted black/purple nails I don't know why Anonymous said to spill-the-gender-tea: Tumblr Art Style TM -Heavily blushed noses. Like, red noses. -Colourful band-aids all over the body -Body hair drawn in little stick lines -some sort of pride flag being worn -if it's a white character, the character might be "racebent" and made into a POC -winking -Trans men are drawn with huge breasts and pronounced curves, trans women are drawn very muscular with typically masculine features a shirt that says some sort of political statement Anonymous said to spill-the-gender-tea Steven universe style, bright neon colors Agaisnt dull greyish colors or too pastel to see anything, bright red giant nose, circle eyes half closed with greasy purple eye lids, ambiguous shade of brown, ""non binary", overly detailed hands, no concept of anatomy, try to make it ugly as to fight what "evil straight cis het white men" find attractive, ""pride flags absolutely everywhere. uwu-doughboy said to spill-the-gender-tea: So a tumblr art style is basically kind of simple with too much detail on a specific part or two (ie. body hair real thick, mouths that look like prolapsed anuses, the like) spill-the-gender-tea: Anonymous said to Heres a few things for the "tumblr art" thing, Tons of body hair Almost always have a "soft boy uwu" vibe to them. Crazy colored, short hair. Normally very cartoony, with over-exagerated 'ugly features Anonymous said to spill-the-gender-tea: one thing ive noticed about the tumblr art styles is that they usually have big noses followed by a tilted smile Anonymous said to spill-the-gender-tea: Tumblr art style: Red-ass noses, very round heads, no defined calves, no joints, giant fucking hair Anonymous said to spill-the-gender-tea: Tumblr art styles almost always consist of overweight, dark skinned (even if the character in question is white) people. A lot of the times they have vitiligo (which is extremely rare) and don't forget to make it look like a racial stereotype because Tumblr finds that progressive! xe ΧίR. @Spill-The-Gender-Tea spill-the-gender-tea:I decided to draw a picture according to tumblr’s art style.
Ass, Crazy, and Fucking: Anonymous said to spill-the-gender-tea:
 things I've picked up on that are pretty tumblr are BIG eyes with a ton of
 eyelashes, sparkles in eyes, and everyone has painted black/purple nails I don't
 know why
 Anonymous said to spill-the-gender-tea:
 Tumblr Art Style TM -Heavily blushed noses. Like, red noses. -Colourful band-aids
 all over the body -Body hair drawn in little stick lines -some sort of pride flag
 being worn -if it's a white character, the character might be "racebent" and made
 into a POC -winking -Trans men are drawn with huge breasts and pronounced
 curves, trans women are drawn very muscular with typically masculine features
 a shirt that says some sort of political statement
 Anonymous said to spill-the-gender-tea
 Steven universe style, bright neon colors Agaisnt dull greyish colors or too pastel
 to see anything, bright red giant nose, circle eyes half closed with greasy purple
 eye lids, ambiguous shade of brown, ""non binary", overly detailed hands, no
 concept of anatomy, try to make it ugly as to fight what "evil straight cis het white
 men" find attractive, ""pride flags
 absolutely everywhere.
 uwu-doughboy said to spill-the-gender-tea:
 So a tumblr art style is basically kind of simple with too much detail on a specific
 part or two (ie. body hair real thick, mouths that look like prolapsed anuses, the
 like)

 spill-the-gender-tea:
 Anonymous said to
 Heres a few things for the "tumblr art" thing, Tons of body hair Almost always
 have a "soft boy uwu" vibe to them. Crazy colored, short hair. Normally very
 cartoony, with over-exagerated 'ugly features
 Anonymous said to spill-the-gender-tea:
 one thing ive noticed about the tumblr art styles is that they usually have big
 noses followed by a tilted smile
 Anonymous said to spill-the-gender-tea:
 Tumblr art style: Red-ass noses, very round heads, no defined calves, no joints,
 giant fucking hair
 Anonymous said to spill-the-gender-tea:
 Tumblr art styles almost always consist of overweight, dark skinned (even if the
 character in question is white) people. A lot of the times they have vitiligo (which
 is extremely rare) and don't forget to make it look like a racial stereotype
 because Tumblr finds that progressive!

 xe
 ΧίR.
 @Spill-The-Gender-Tea
spill-the-gender-tea:I decided to draw a picture according to tumblr’s art style.

spill-the-gender-tea:I decided to draw a picture according to tumblr’s art style.

Alive, Cats, and Dogs: Saving your pet with CPR Check for breathing and pulse Check pulse using middle and index finger below the wrist, inner thigh (temoral artery). below the ankle or where left elbow touches With pets increasingly being treated like a member of the Areas to check family, many owners are learning emergency techniques like CPR to keep their pet alive before bringing it to a veterinarian. for pulse the chest Look for other warning signs Gums and lips will appear gray- colored. Pupils will be dilated and not responsive to light If there is no breathing and no pulse, begin CPR immediately. Gums Pupils If not breathing, give breath to animal Cats and small dogs Place your mouth over its nose and mouth to blow air in. Medium-large dogs Place your mouth over its nose to blow air in Heimlich maneuver If breath won't go in, airway may be blocked. Turn dog upside down, with its back against your chest. Wrap your arms around the dog and clasp your hands together just below its rib cage (since you're holding the dog upside down, it's above the rib cage, in the abdomen). Using both arms, give five sharp thrusts to the abdomen. Then check its mouth or airway for the object. If you see it, remove it and give two more rescue breaths Start compressions if no pulse Lay animal on right side and place hand over ribs where its elbow touches the chest. Begin compressions. Do not give compressions if dog has pulse. Compressions per breath of air Compress chest Animal size Catsmall dog (Under 30 lbs.) 5 1/2-1 inch Medium-large dog (30-90 lbs.) 1-3 inches 5 Giant dog (over 90 lbs.) 1-3 inches 10 Repeat procedure Stop CPR after 20 minutes. Check pulse after 1 minute and then every few minutes. Continue giving CPR until the animal has a puise and is breathing. soURCE American Red Cross lolzandtrollz: Every Dog Owner Needs To Know This
Alive, Cats, and Dogs: Saving your pet with CPR
 Check for breathing and pulse
 Check pulse using middle and index finger
 below the wrist, inner thigh (temoral artery).
 below the ankle or where left elbow touches
 With pets increasingly being
 treated like a member of the
 Areas to check
 family, many owners are learning
 emergency techniques like CPR
 to keep their pet alive before
 bringing it to a veterinarian.
 for pulse
 the chest
 Look for other
 warning signs
 Gums and lips will appear
 gray- colored.
 Pupils will be dilated and
 not responsive to light
 If there is no breathing and no
 pulse, begin CPR immediately.
 Gums
 Pupils
 If not breathing, give
 breath to animal
 Cats and small dogs
 Place your mouth over its nose
 and mouth to blow air in.
 Medium-large dogs
 Place your mouth over its nose
 to blow air in
 Heimlich maneuver
 If breath won't go in, airway may be blocked.
 Turn dog upside down, with its back against
 your chest. Wrap your arms around the dog
 and clasp your hands together just below its
 rib cage (since you're holding the dog upside
 down, it's above the rib cage, in the
 abdomen). Using both arms, give five sharp thrusts
 to the abdomen. Then check its mouth or airway for the
 object. If you see it, remove it and give two more
 rescue breaths
 Start compressions if no pulse
 Lay animal on right side and place hand over ribs
 where its elbow touches the chest. Begin
 compressions. Do not give compressions
 if dog has pulse.
 Compressions
 per breath
 of air
 Compress
 chest
 Animal size
 Catsmall dog (Under 30 lbs.)
 5
 1/2-1 inch
 Medium-large dog (30-90 lbs.)
 1-3 inches
 5
 Giant dog (over 90 lbs.)
 1-3 inches
 10
 Repeat
 procedure
 Stop CPR
 after 20 minutes.
 Check pulse after 1 minute
 and then every few minutes.
 Continue giving CPR until the
 animal has a puise and is breathing.
 soURCE
 American Red Cross
lolzandtrollz:

Every Dog Owner Needs To Know This

lolzandtrollz: Every Dog Owner Needs To Know This

Fire, Tumblr, and Lost: thestomping-ground: Jon and Dany realizing they’ve lost Royal Couple of the Year Award to a Giant Lizard and Moth. DD will be served Fire and Blood
Fire, Tumblr, and Lost: thestomping-ground:

Jon and Dany realizing they’ve lost Royal Couple of the Year Award to a Giant Lizard and Moth. DD will be served Fire and Blood

thestomping-ground: Jon and Dany realizing they’ve lost Royal Couple of the Year Award to a Giant Lizard and Moth. DD will be served Fire a...

Godzilla, Tumblr, and Blog: art-of-thomas-elliott: MechaGodzilla, Its Godzilla as a giant mecha, whats not to like? What does everyone think of the new Godzilla film? KIRIYU!
Godzilla, Tumblr, and Blog: art-of-thomas-elliott:

MechaGodzilla, Its Godzilla as a giant mecha, whats not to like? What does everyone think of the new Godzilla film?

KIRIYU!

art-of-thomas-elliott: MechaGodzilla, Its Godzilla as a giant mecha, whats not to like? What does everyone think of the new Godzilla film? ...

Cute, Head, and Tumblr: pizzaback: lionofchaeronea:Self-Portrait as David with the Head of Goliath, Johan Zoffany, 1756 me when i kill a giant but i still want to look cute in my portrait
Cute, Head, and Tumblr: pizzaback:

lionofchaeronea:Self-Portrait as David with the Head of Goliath, Johan Zoffany, 1756
me when i kill a giant but i still want to look cute in my portrait

pizzaback: lionofchaeronea:Self-Portrait as David with the Head of Goliath, Johan Zoffany, 1756 me when i kill a giant but i still want to ...

Bubba, Clock, and Crying: writing-prompt-s You're in charge of assigning every child on Earth the monster under their bed One child in particular has caused every monster assigned to him/her to quit. You decide to assign yourself. kittenwiskers Case: #273402 Status: Disastrous I stare at the file and realize I have no options, over the last 2 years every monster assigned to Charlotte Dower has quit, every last one. Her first monster; a giant goldfish-faced humanoid named Bubba, had been with her for four years and then she wasn't scared of him anymore. After that it was a string of different common, uncommon, and rare monsters... I even assigned a sentient sock monster to her. He came back crying I look on my tablet, only one assignable monster left; myself. Field work has never been my cup of tea, but desperate times call for desperate measures. So at 8:03 pm, after Mrs. Gideon tucks in Charlotte and her little brother Daniel; I slither into the space beneath Charlotte's bed Across the room underneath Daniel's crib is a rookie, Chico, a standard Creep kind of monster. I turn my attention to the bed above me, Charlotte is still awake but barely, reach up over the bed and run an ice cold finger over her cheek, silence, so I do it again "I'm not afraid of you monster!" She whispers, but her voice is shaking. I can see a small clock on the wall 8:14, a door somewhere in the house slams and there is an audible hitch of breath from above me. A few minutes go by I can hear Francis Gideon yelling at his wife. There are heavy footsteps on the stairs, and loud panting breaths, Charlotte scrambles off the bed and.. She. CRAWLS. Under. The. Bed. With Me. "Move. Over!" Charlotte hisses at me. I The door to the bedroom slams open and I smell the stench of human intoxicants before the man even steps inside. I know why Charlotte isn't afraid of any of my monsters; she's afraid of her own. Francis reaches a hand under the bed and I thrust my wrist into it, he starts to pull, I slither out. "What the... I cut Francis's next words off by unfolding to my full 12 foot height. Looming over the drunken man I caress my cold fingers down his face. "If you ever touch, scare, or harm my child again, I will find you, and I will do the same to you, for all eternity." I promise to him As Francis runs from the room he soils himself. I pull Charlotte from under the bed, tuck her back under her covers and kiss her forehead goodnight. "l'll be back tomorrow night, sleep well darling." Charlotte Dower is my child, I am the monster under her bed funny.C awesomacious: A greatly written story
Bubba, Clock, and Crying: writing-prompt-s
 You're in charge of assigning every child
 on Earth the monster under their bed
 One child in particular has caused every
 monster assigned to him/her to quit. You
 decide to assign yourself.
 kittenwiskers
 Case: #273402
 Status: Disastrous
 I stare at the file and realize I have no
 options, over the last 2 years every
 monster assigned to Charlotte Dower has
 quit, every last one. Her first monster; a
 giant goldfish-faced humanoid named
 Bubba, had been with her for four years
 and then she wasn't scared of him
 anymore. After that it was a string of
 different common, uncommon, and rare
 monsters... I even assigned a sentient
 sock monster to her. He came back
 crying
 I look on my tablet, only one assignable
 monster left; myself. Field work has never
 been my cup of tea, but desperate times
 call for desperate measures. So at 8:03
 pm, after Mrs. Gideon tucks in Charlotte
 and her little brother Daniel; I slither into
 the space beneath Charlotte's bed
 Across the room underneath Daniel's crib
 is a rookie, Chico, a standard Creep kind
 of monster.
 I turn my attention to the bed above me,
 Charlotte is still awake but barely, reach
 up over the bed and run an ice cold
 finger over her cheek, silence, so I do it
 again
 "I'm not afraid of you monster!" She
 whispers, but her voice is shaking. I can
 see a small clock on the wall 8:14, a door
 somewhere in the house slams and there
 is an audible hitch of breath from above
 me. A few minutes go by I can hear
 Francis Gideon yelling at his wife. There
 are heavy footsteps on the stairs, and
 loud panting breaths, Charlotte
 scrambles off the bed and..
 She. CRAWLS. Under. The. Bed. With
 Me.
 "Move. Over!" Charlotte hisses at me. I
 The door to the bedroom slams open and
 I smell the stench of human intoxicants
 before the man even steps inside.
 I know why Charlotte isn't afraid of any of
 my monsters; she's afraid of her own.
 Francis reaches a hand under the bed
 and I thrust my wrist into it, he starts to
 pull, I slither out.
 "What the... I cut Francis's next words
 off by unfolding to my full 12 foot height.
 Looming over the drunken man I caress
 my cold fingers down his face.
 "If you ever touch, scare, or harm my
 child again, I will find you, and I will do
 the same to you, for all eternity." I
 promise to him
 As Francis runs from the room he soils
 himself.
 I pull Charlotte from under the bed, tuck
 her back under her covers and kiss her
 forehead goodnight. "l'll be back
 tomorrow night, sleep well darling."
 Charlotte Dower is my child, I am the
 monster under her bed
 funny.C
awesomacious:

A greatly written story

awesomacious: A greatly written story