cup
 cup

cup

big
big

big

Broken Foot
Broken Foot

Broken Foot

Coffee
Coffee

Coffee

Funny
Funny

Funny

mouth
 mouth

mouth

imgflip
imgflip

imgflip

toes
 toes

toes

hot dog
hot dog

hot dog

Holding
Holding

Holding

🔥 | Latest

foot: oh to share a 500 dollar four foot tall mareep…
foot: oh to share a 500 dollar four foot tall mareep…

oh to share a 500 dollar four foot tall mareep…

foot: best foot forward
foot: best foot forward

best foot forward

foot: Right foot up
foot: Right foot up

Right foot up

foot: sonneillonv: violent-cisbian: lesbianplayinanimalcrossing: violent-cisbian: thevirginmaryswomb: radcybergoth: blackswallowtailbutterfly: ryderdai: the-pump-king: morphimus: charlesoberonn: charlesoberonn: queen-of-dirt: charlesoberonn: notaboyscout: charlesoberonn: memory-thought: charlesoberonn: updogonline: It took me 3 watches to realize the door is cardboard and this man is not just freakishly strong. I assure you this is a standard interior door, usually only exterior doors are solid. You can see the inside of the cardboard though. This isn’t a real door, it’s a prop from a movie or TV set. it has a paper honeycomb for rigidity, and that’s how interior doors are made for modern construction in the USA. y'all have never kicked a hole in your bedroom door in a flurry of teenage hormonal rage and it shows If I kicked my bedroom door I’d more likely break my foot than the door. I always thought people punching through doors or shoving people through doors was just from the movies. Doors in my country are generally solid planks of wood, a polymer of sorts, or metal. American homes are made extremely cheaply and aren’t built to last. Steam from hot showers seeps into wall which are not treated to handle moisture, and mold grows in the walls. Almost every wall or floor is made out of plywood. Flimsy roofing that can withstand a run of the mill heavy storm, but not much more than that. Weak foundations that wouldn’t hold up at all if it weren’t for how light and plywood-y the overall house is. Not every American house is this shitty in all of these ways, but the vast majority of them are, and almost all of them have at least one of these problems. Even rich people’s homes. Read this article. https://dengarden.com/misc/American-Houses-and-Bad-Quality Then watch this video. Are we just ignoring this original post was about the OP looking for Elf Pussy or are we just totally past that? It’s already been answered that there is no elf pussy here, so why dwell? 🤷🏾‍♂️ I’m in Canada. I haven’t noticed any door be quite that flimsy. You could kick a hole in some of them (the hollow ones) but not right through, and not without hurting yourself. It also depends on how old your house is. My parents house is from the 80s and all the doors are solid wood Yeah my parents were the first people to live in our house so it would have been built in the same decade. I remember my mom saying that she liked how the doors were solid wood, and little me was confused bc I thought all doors were made of wood do y'all,,,, not have stone walls,,,,? No we don’t, usually just plywood or plasterboard with wooden frames for support. If it is stone it’s usually just a “feature wall” that is made of the aforementioned materials but with a thin layer of stone glued on. Basically this but just with paint over the plasterboard, American houses (or at least new ones) are built to look nice but ware easily. why would anyone build something like that? didn’t the pig with the wood house get killed or something? don’t y'all learn from your childhood? I live in AZ and one of my exterior doors is Styrofoam. Literally Styrofoam with a flexible plastic plate over it. You could kick right through it.  Or, if you felt like sneaking in and murdering me, cut through it with a kitchen knife.   Needless to say I’m having it replaced. -laughs in solid wooden door-
foot: sonneillonv:

violent-cisbian:

lesbianplayinanimalcrossing:


violent-cisbian:


thevirginmaryswomb:


radcybergoth:


blackswallowtailbutterfly:


ryderdai:

the-pump-king:


morphimus:


charlesoberonn:

charlesoberonn:

queen-of-dirt:

charlesoberonn:

notaboyscout:

charlesoberonn:


memory-thought:

charlesoberonn:


updogonline:

It took me 3 watches to realize the door is cardboard and this man is not just freakishly strong.



I assure you this is a standard interior door, usually only exterior doors are solid. 

You can see the inside of the cardboard though.
This isn’t a real door, it’s a prop from a movie or TV set.



it has a paper honeycomb for rigidity, and that’s how interior doors are made for modern construction in the USA. 




y'all have never kicked a hole in your bedroom door in a flurry of teenage hormonal rage and it shows

If I kicked my bedroom door I’d more likely break my foot than the door.



I always thought people punching through doors or shoving people through doors was just from the movies. Doors in my country are generally solid planks of wood, a polymer of sorts, or metal.



American homes are made extremely cheaply and aren’t built to last.
Steam from hot showers seeps into wall which are not treated to handle moisture, and mold grows in the walls.
Almost every wall or floor is made out of plywood.
Flimsy roofing that can withstand a run of the mill heavy storm, but not much more than that.
Weak foundations that wouldn’t hold up at all if it weren’t for how light and plywood-y the overall house is.
Not every American house is this shitty in all of these ways, but the vast majority of them are, and almost all of them have at least one of these problems. Even rich people’s homes.
Read this article.
https://dengarden.com/misc/American-Houses-and-Bad-Quality
Then watch this video.



Are we just ignoring this original post was about the OP looking for Elf Pussy or are we just totally past that? 



It’s already been answered that there is no elf pussy here, so why dwell? 🤷🏾‍♂️

I’m in Canada. I haven’t noticed any door be quite that flimsy. You could kick a hole in some of them (the hollow ones) but not right through, and not without hurting yourself.



It also depends on how old your house is. My parents house is from the 80s and all the doors are solid wood



Yeah my parents were the first people to live in our house so it would have been built in the same decade. I remember my mom saying that she liked how the doors were solid wood, and little me was confused bc I thought all doors were made of wood



do y'all,,,, not have stone walls,,,,?



No we don’t, usually just plywood or plasterboard with wooden frames for support. If it is stone it’s usually just a “feature wall” that is made of the aforementioned materials but with a thin layer of stone glued on.
Basically this but just with paint over the plasterboard, American houses (or at least new ones) are built to look nice but ware easily.



why would anyone build something like that? didn’t the pig with the wood house get killed or something? don’t y'all learn from your childhood?

I live in AZ and one of my exterior doors is Styrofoam.
Literally Styrofoam with a flexible plastic plate over it.
You could kick right through it.  Or, if you felt like sneaking in and murdering me, cut through it with a kitchen knife.  
Needless to say I’m having it replaced.



-laughs in solid wooden door-

sonneillonv: violent-cisbian: lesbianplayinanimalcrossing: violent-cisbian: thevirginmaryswomb: radcybergoth: blackswallowtailb...

foot: I wrote that I’m 9 foot 6 as a joke in my bio aaand
foot: I wrote that I’m 9 foot 6 as a joke in my bio aaand

I wrote that I’m 9 foot 6 as a joke in my bio aaand

foot: strawberryoverlord: bl-uefish: kneecap-stealing-gay-rainbow: void-of-erebos: lil-dane: dedmemehehe: official-lucifers-child: tim-tam-the-himbo-man: a-fools-love: drabbles-and-daydreams: justsomebandomtrash: pink-punk-metal: champawattigress: lizziedoesvetpath: gettingvetted: wuackamole: rimmymftim: the-bi-man-cometh: sassymccoy: i-chew-on-pushpins: sirfrogsworth: 3.944 cubits. Third grocery store shelf from the top I touch the ceiling without needing to go up on my toes About 1 Billy Joel. taller than jeremy dooley, shorter than everyone else Just a little too long for my bed 18 hands Long enough that I should just fit between two people appropriately social distancing without touching either of them when lying out flat Approximately 89% of the length of Darth Maul’s lightsaber. taller than every member of fall out boy  If I stand on a chair on my fuckin tippy toes or whatever the fuck I can touch the ceiling I am exactly one (1) Evan Jennings I am 2 capybara’s tall I need a step stool to get stuff out of upper kitchen cabinets at least 5 hands about 1 my mom slightly shorter than @official-lucifers-child I can touch my toes and forehead to opposite ends of my bed, but only when I stretch my feet out I am a little shorter than the length of social distancing. im 0.000978535 miles tall I’m a little over 12 pens tall 1 foot shorter than Master Chief
foot: strawberryoverlord:

bl-uefish:

kneecap-stealing-gay-rainbow:
void-of-erebos:


lil-dane:


dedmemehehe:


official-lucifers-child:


tim-tam-the-himbo-man:

a-fools-love:

drabbles-and-daydreams:

justsomebandomtrash:


pink-punk-metal:


champawattigress:

lizziedoesvetpath:

gettingvetted:


wuackamole:

rimmymftim:


the-bi-man-cometh:


sassymccoy:

i-chew-on-pushpins:


sirfrogsworth:

3.944 cubits.


Third grocery store shelf from the top



I touch the ceiling without needing to go up on my toes 

About 1 Billy Joel.



taller than jeremy dooley, shorter than everyone else



Just a little too long for my bed

18 hands



Long enough that I should just fit between two people appropriately social distancing without touching either of them when lying out flat

Approximately 89% of the length of Darth Maul’s lightsaber.

taller than every member of fall out boy 



If I stand on a chair on my fuckin tippy toes or whatever the fuck I can touch the ceiling 



I am exactly one (1) Evan Jennings 

I am 2 capybara’s tall

I need a step stool to get stuff out of upper kitchen cabinets

at least 5 hands



about 1 my mom 



slightly shorter than @official-lucifers-child 



I can touch my toes and forehead to opposite ends of my bed, but only when I stretch my feet out



I am a little shorter than the length of social distancing.

im 0.000978535 miles tall


I’m a little over 12 pens tall


1 foot shorter than Master Chief

strawberryoverlord: bl-uefish: kneecap-stealing-gay-rainbow: void-of-erebos: lil-dane: dedmemehehe: official-lucifers-child: ti...

foot: w33d-witch: The most beautiful little shop I’ve ever stepped foot in 😍
foot: w33d-witch:
The most beautiful little shop I’ve ever stepped foot in 😍

w33d-witch: The most beautiful little shop I’ve ever stepped foot in 😍

foot: brightlotusmoon: a-holiday-franchise: perpetualcombustioninstruction: revereche: bogleech: elvenrainbow: shitsuren-chama: ocean-child-love: kaibas-paragraphical-mind: what-is-a-homestuck: WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT YOU COULD BE A FUCKING BADASS DRAGON THAT’S THE POINT “I AM A CREATURE OF DARKNESS” “oh hey sabrina.” I guess the point is that you could shapeshift into the body you always thought you’d grow into when you were a kid taller, shorter, slimmer, more muscular, purple hair, tattoos everywhere, tattoos nowhere,  every single shoe would fit you every single time you tried it on, every single article of clothing would fit your perfectly, all you have to do is transform slightly, you’d never run out of ‘your size’ again and you wouldn’t have to work for it at all, and you’d never be limitted by your bone structure or something. You could just transform at will. I don’t see how this is much of a downside When you turn into a sixty story tentacle demon and terrorize a city you want to get the credit you deserve Oh man that would be so sweet. I could be an annoying fuck as an insect or something but you couldn’t kill me because everyone would know That’s great but have you considered ~cosplay ~Halloween costumes ~acting ~cosplay ~stretching to reach stuff and shrinking to fit through spaces ~cosplay ~cosplay ~COSPLAY imagine being at work minding your business and then suddenly you look out the window and see like a 50ft tall flamingo and then someone just says “oh, yeah, that’s just pete, he does this sometimes, don’t worry” “BRB, gonna be a cat-sized dragon for a few hours. Might come home a foot taller with mood tattoos.” “Don’t antagonize the fae.” “I AM the fae, Susan.”
foot: brightlotusmoon:
a-holiday-franchise:


perpetualcombustioninstruction:

revereche:

bogleech:

elvenrainbow:

shitsuren-chama:

ocean-child-love:

kaibas-paragraphical-mind:

what-is-a-homestuck:

WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT

YOU COULD BE A FUCKING BADASS DRAGON THAT’S THE POINT

“I AM A CREATURE OF DARKNESS” “oh hey sabrina.”

I guess the point is that you could shapeshift into the body you always thought you’d grow into when you were a kid
taller, shorter, slimmer, more muscular, purple hair, tattoos everywhere, tattoos nowhere, 
every single shoe would fit you every single time you tried it on, every single article of clothing would fit your perfectly, all you have to do is transform slightly, you’d never run out of ‘your size’ again
and you wouldn’t have to work for it at all, and you’d never be limitted by your bone structure or something. You could just transform at will.



I don’t see how this is much of a downside
When you turn into a sixty story tentacle demon and terrorize a city you want to get the credit you deserve

Oh man that would be so sweet. I could be an annoying fuck as an insect or something but you couldn’t kill me because everyone would know

That’s great but have you considered
~cosplay
~Halloween costumes
~acting
~cosplay
~stretching to reach stuff and shrinking to fit through spaces
~cosplay
~cosplay
~COSPLAY


imagine being at work minding your business and then suddenly you look out the window and see like a 50ft tall flamingo and then someone just says “oh, yeah, that’s just pete, he does this sometimes, don’t worry” 



“BRB, gonna be a cat-sized dragon for a few hours. Might come home a foot taller with mood tattoos.”
“Don’t antagonize the fae.”
“I AM the fae, Susan.”

brightlotusmoon: a-holiday-franchise: perpetualcombustioninstruction: revereche: bogleech: elvenrainbow: shitsuren-chama: ocean-ch...

foot: Everything changed when the foot nation attacked
foot: Everything changed when the foot nation attacked

Everything changed when the foot nation attacked

foot: feniczoroark: aqueerkettleofish: brightlotusmoon: a-holiday-franchise: perpetualcombustioninstruction: revereche: bogleech: elvenrainbow: shitsuren-chama: ocean-child-love: kaibas-paragraphical-mind: what-is-a-homestuck: WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT YOU COULD BE A FUCKING BADASS DRAGON THAT’S THE POINT “I AM A CREATURE OF DARKNESS” “oh hey sabrina.” I guess the point is that you could shapeshift into the body you always thought you’d grow into when you were a kid taller, shorter, slimmer, more muscular, purple hair, tattoos everywhere, tattoos nowhere,  every single shoe would fit you every single time you tried it on, every single article of clothing would fit your perfectly, all you have to do is transform slightly, you’d never run out of ‘your size’ again and you wouldn’t have to work for it at all, and you’d never be limitted by your bone structure or something. You could just transform at will. I don’t see how this is much of a downside When you turn into a sixty story tentacle demon and terrorize a city you want to get the credit you deserve Oh man that would be so sweet. I could be an annoying fuck as an insect or something but you couldn’t kill me because everyone would know That’s great but have you considered ~cosplay ~Halloween costumes ~acting ~cosplay ~stretching to reach stuff and shrinking to fit through spaces ~cosplay ~cosplay ~COSPLAY imagine being at work minding your business and then suddenly you look out the window and see like a 50ft tall flamingo and then someone just says “oh, yeah, that’s just pete, he does this sometimes, don’t worry” “BRB, gonna be a cat-sized dragon for a few hours. Might come home a foot taller with mood tattoos.” “Don’t antagonize the fae.” “I AM the fae, Susan.” Also, consider— people will know it’s you, but it doesn’t say they’ll know what you are. “So is Pete a 50 foot flamingo who changes into a man, or the other way around?”“We.. we don’t know. Barbara asked him once, but he just grinned. She said they weren’t the teeth of a human OR flamingo and she didn’t want to talk about it.” @randomnightlord As a trans girl this button has no negative side effects for me
foot: feniczoroark:

aqueerkettleofish:

brightlotusmoon:

a-holiday-franchise:


perpetualcombustioninstruction:

revereche:

bogleech:

elvenrainbow:

shitsuren-chama:

ocean-child-love:

kaibas-paragraphical-mind:

what-is-a-homestuck:

WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT

YOU COULD BE A FUCKING BADASS DRAGON THAT’S THE POINT

“I AM A CREATURE OF DARKNESS” “oh hey sabrina.”

I guess the point is that you could shapeshift into the body you always thought you’d grow into when you were a kid
taller, shorter, slimmer, more muscular, purple hair, tattoos everywhere, tattoos nowhere, 
every single shoe would fit you every single time you tried it on, every single article of clothing would fit your perfectly, all you have to do is transform slightly, you’d never run out of ‘your size’ again
and you wouldn’t have to work for it at all, and you’d never be limitted by your bone structure or something. You could just transform at will.



I don’t see how this is much of a downside
When you turn into a sixty story tentacle demon and terrorize a city you want to get the credit you deserve

Oh man that would be so sweet. I could be an annoying fuck as an insect or something but you couldn’t kill me because everyone would know

That’s great but have you considered
~cosplay
~Halloween costumes
~acting
~cosplay
~stretching to reach stuff and shrinking to fit through spaces
~cosplay
~cosplay
~COSPLAY


imagine being at work minding your business and then suddenly you look out the window and see like a 50ft tall flamingo and then someone just says “oh, yeah, that’s just pete, he does this sometimes, don’t worry” 



“BRB, gonna be a cat-sized dragon for a few hours. Might come home a foot taller with mood tattoos.”
“Don’t antagonize the fae.”
“I AM the fae, Susan.”

Also, consider— people will know it’s you, but it doesn’t say they’ll know what you are. “So is Pete a 50 foot flamingo who changes into a man, or the other way around?”“We.. we don’t know.  Barbara asked him once, but he just grinned.  She said they weren’t the teeth of a human OR flamingo and she didn’t want to talk about it.” 



@randomnightlord 


As a trans girl this button has no negative side effects for me

feniczoroark: aqueerkettleofish: brightlotusmoon: a-holiday-franchise: perpetualcombustioninstruction: revereche: bogleech: elven...

foot: Starting off on the wrong foot
foot: Starting off on the wrong foot

Starting off on the wrong foot

foot: dynastylnoire: writernotwaiting: hellenhighwater: astolen98saturnsedan: luadell: thisnewdevilry: sputnikcentury: teapotsahoy: lovedsomuch: warsfeils: anubituf: harukami: last-snowfall: weareallmedie: firedanceryote: reptila-tequila: qeilla: thefreckledavantgardegoober: mysticmisfit89: Meanwhile, in prehistoric Canada….. No no, you don’t understand, moose really do get that big. Take it from a Canadian. I’ve seen that bullshit in person. Scary as all heck. And that’s how people can die if they hit a moose. Seriously, one of our fears when driving in the country is having to deal with this scenario of a moose jumping out in front of the car. moose are actual legit ice age megafauna; theyve been here since the ice age, they are old as fuck. they also are pretty terrifying and ive echoed this before but i went to wiki and “In terms of raw numbers, they attack more people than bears and wolves combined” and “ In the Americas, moose injure more people than any other wild mammal and, worldwide, only hippopotamuses injure more.” like, fuck off with that I was dog sitting a dog once who insisted she had to go out in the middle of the night it was an emergency, so I took her out. Suddenly she starts pointing and barking and I look up and can just make out the outline of a HUGE moose. I’ve been accidentally face to face with a black bear and that scared me less than being up close with a moose. I’m 5 foot so imagine staring up at an animal several feet taller than you that is debating charging the dog who’s leash you are holding. I was terrified as I grabbed the dog by her collar to get better control over her and backed up slowly til I was out of line of sight and bolted for the house at a dead run. Did you know most Canadian lake monster stories come from people seeing moose swimming? They are massive animals. They are massive and they charge. I get so scared when tourists are all “oh yeah, we got out of the car to get a closer look and, ya’ll have some mighty impressive animals around here.”Yes, yes we do, and they have mighty tired guardian angels because moose can, and do, charge at people. Someone my mom worked with died hitting a moose on the highway. Their eyes don’t reflect light. In the dark they are literally nothing but a big slightly darker shape in the night. Roughly every year in the town I grew up in, a cow (moose) and her calf will wander through downtown. Maybe once or twice. If she’s aggressive enough, the local Mounties will escort her through to keep idiots away. I’ve definitely talked with people who thought moose were deer-sized or maybe horse-sized and I was like NO YOU DON’T EVEN UNDERSTAND MOOSE ARE TERRIFYING Moose are terrifying, you guys. I finally live on a province where moose and deer exist. I do not drive at night in fear of meeting one. If you hit a moose going 90 on a highway, not only is your car trashed, you are probably trashed. I’ve seen cars that got wrecked and there seems to be a consensus that at least half the time, the giant fucking beastie just shakes itself off and continues gallumphing along the countryside. If you fucking hit a moose with your car and their legs go through your windshield, congratulations, you are dead. Massive hooves kicking you to death? Yeah.  Moose are fucking terrifying. Bull moose won’t fuck with you too much unless you fuck with them, but the time a bull moose casually swaggered his way past 7 year old me when I was sledding literally put me off winter sports for a solid month.  Momma moose and their babies, though? I legitimately had to call in to work to be like “ey yo there is a moose in my driveway and I can’t get out” AND MY MANAGERS UNDERSTOOD. Moose. MOOSE. I have to admit I thought they were like a Canadian deer before this. The commenter above who claims that moose’s eyes don’t reflect light is only partially correct; if you shine a flashlight in a moose’s eyes it will glow like a cat (and then you will probably get killed to death by an annoyed moose) but the reason they are so dangerous to cars at nights is that they are too tall for the headlights to reach. Think about that. Moose confirmed for actual kaiju. Kaiju category: Maple.   Now I kinda want a kaiju movie set in Canada where it’s just a moose. Like a regular moose but more aggressive. @ssalogel For scale, a female african elephant is 7.2-8.5 feet at the shoulder, according to Wikipedia. A moose is  4.6 – 6.9 ft. at the shoulder. So instead of thinking “This animal is a bit bigger than a deer” you can think “This animal is barely smaller than an elephant” And they can run up to 40 miles per hour A 16 wheeler with fur
foot: dynastylnoire:

writernotwaiting:

hellenhighwater:

astolen98saturnsedan:

luadell:

thisnewdevilry:

sputnikcentury:

teapotsahoy:

lovedsomuch:

warsfeils:

anubituf:

harukami:

last-snowfall:

weareallmedie:

firedanceryote:

reptila-tequila:

qeilla:

thefreckledavantgardegoober:

mysticmisfit89:

Meanwhile, in prehistoric Canada…..

No no, you don’t understand, moose really do get that big. Take it from a Canadian. I’ve seen that bullshit in person. Scary as all heck.

And that’s how people can die if they hit a moose. Seriously, one of our fears when driving in the country is having to deal with this scenario of a moose jumping out in front of the car.

moose are actual legit ice age megafauna; theyve been here since the ice age, they are old as fuck. they also are pretty terrifying and ive echoed this before but i went to wiki and “In terms of raw numbers, they attack more people than bears and wolves combined” and “ In the Americas, moose injure more people than any other wild mammal and, worldwide, only hippopotamuses injure more.”
like, fuck off with that

I was dog sitting a dog once who insisted she had to go out in the middle of the night it was an emergency, so I took her out. Suddenly she starts pointing and barking and I look up and can just make out the outline of a HUGE moose. I’ve been accidentally face to face with a black bear and that scared me less than being up close with a moose. I’m 5 foot so imagine staring up at an animal several feet taller than you that is debating charging the dog who’s leash you are holding. I was terrified as I grabbed the dog by her collar to get better control over her and backed up slowly til I was out of line of sight and bolted for the house at a dead run. Did you know most Canadian lake monster stories come from people seeing moose swimming? They are massive animals.

They are massive and they charge. I get so scared when tourists are all “oh yeah, we got out of the car to get a closer look and, ya’ll have some mighty impressive animals around here.”Yes, yes we do, and they have mighty tired guardian angels because moose can, and do, charge at people.

Someone my mom worked with died hitting a moose on the highway. Their eyes don’t reflect light. In the dark they are literally nothing but a big slightly darker shape in the night. Roughly every year in the town I grew up in, a cow (moose) and her calf will wander through downtown. Maybe once or twice. If she’s aggressive enough, the local Mounties will escort her through to keep idiots away.

I’ve definitely talked with people who thought moose were deer-sized or maybe horse-sized and I was like NO YOU DON’T EVEN UNDERSTAND MOOSE ARE TERRIFYING
Moose are terrifying, you guys.

I finally live on a province where moose and deer exist.
I do not drive at night in fear of meeting one. If you hit a moose going 90 on a highway, not only is your car trashed, you are probably trashed. I’ve seen cars that got wrecked and there seems to be a consensus that at least half the time, the giant fucking beastie just shakes itself off and continues gallumphing along the countryside.

If you fucking hit a moose with your car and their legs go through your windshield, congratulations, you are dead. Massive hooves kicking you to death? Yeah. 
Moose are fucking terrifying. Bull moose won’t fuck with you too much unless you fuck with them, but the time a bull moose casually swaggered his way past 7 year old me when I was sledding literally put me off winter sports for a solid month. 
Momma moose and their babies, though? I legitimately had to call in to work to be like “ey yo there is a moose in my driveway and I can’t get out” AND MY MANAGERS UNDERSTOOD.
Moose. MOOSE.

I have to admit I thought they were like a Canadian deer before this.

The commenter above who claims that moose’s eyes don’t reflect light is only partially correct; if you shine a flashlight in a moose’s eyes it will glow like a cat (and then you will probably get killed to death by an annoyed moose) but the reason they are so dangerous to cars at nights is that they are too tall for the headlights to reach. Think about that.

Moose confirmed for actual kaiju.


Kaiju category: Maple.  


Now I kinda want a kaiju movie set in Canada where it’s just a moose. Like a regular moose but more aggressive. 

@ssalogel

For scale, a female african elephant is 7.2-8.5 feet at the shoulder, according to Wikipedia. A moose is 

4.6 – 6.9 ft. at the shoulder. So instead of thinking “This animal is a bit bigger than a deer” you can think “This animal is barely smaller than an elephant”

And they can run up to 40 miles per hour


A 16 wheeler with fur

dynastylnoire: writernotwaiting: hellenhighwater: astolen98saturnsedan: luadell: thisnewdevilry: sputnikcentury: teapotsahoy: lov...

foot: Yes I’m 6 foot.
foot: Yes I’m 6 foot.

Yes I’m 6 foot.

foot: I never put my foot down about anything, but I am severely tempted to do it over this. I think it’s coming down. My foot is coming down. The foot has spoken.
foot: I never put my foot down about anything, but I am severely tempted to do it over this. I think it’s coming down. My foot is coming down. The foot has spoken.

I never put my foot down about anything, but I am severely tempted to do it over this. I think it’s coming down. My foot is coming down....

foot: cupcakeshakesnake: thesouthernjedi: roachpatrol: ghostymcspooky: soloontherocks: notanotherreyloblog: thebaconsandwichofregret: azumariko: he was on TATOOINE you fucking loser Obi-Wan can find an invisible planet hidden by a devious Sith Lord, Anakin can’t find his ex-best friend on his own home planet while the guy is still using his own damn name. I know we give Obi-wan a lot of shit for leaving Luke with his real surname but Anakin really is that stupid the perfect hiding place: the sandiest fucking planet that anakin would never set foot on again I’d like to remind everyone again that it’s literally canon that Vader can’t step foot on Tatooine because the desert gets into his creaky old man robot joints and makes his suit break down aka the sand is coarse, rough, irritating, and gets everywhere i  d o n t  l i k e  s a n d okay but what if everyone was like ‘vader, kenobi’s on tattooine. he’s obviously on tattooine. he’s been there for years. he’s just right fucking there, we all know it.’ and vader is just desperately shaking down jedi like they’re magic eight-balls and he wants a better fortune. like ‘no i don’t like that try again’.  kenobi’s just sitting there in his pile of sand like a smug fucking bastard. he doesn’t need to hide jack shit. he went to the tattooine board of tourism and got them to print up flyers that say ‘COME TO TATTOOINE, WE HAVE SAND’ and luke is probably going to be safe until his midlife fucking crisis at this rate. palpatine finds vader aimlessly checking behind pieces of furniture in some shitty space motel on kamino ‘he’s on tattooine,’ palpatine says.  ‘nuh uh,’ vader says, and peers under a couch. peers under a couch This is the best Star Wars post I have read in a while.
foot: cupcakeshakesnake:
thesouthernjedi:

roachpatrol:

ghostymcspooky:

soloontherocks:

notanotherreyloblog:

thebaconsandwichofregret:

azumariko:

he was on TATOOINE you fucking loser

Obi-Wan can find an invisible planet hidden by a devious Sith Lord, Anakin can’t find his ex-best friend on his own home planet while the guy is still using his own damn name.
I know we give Obi-wan a lot of shit for leaving Luke with his real surname but Anakin really is that stupid

the perfect hiding place: the sandiest fucking planet that anakin would never set foot on again

I’d like to remind everyone again that it’s literally canon that Vader can’t step foot on Tatooine because the desert gets into his creaky old man robot joints and makes his suit break down
aka the sand is coarse, rough, irritating, and gets everywhere 

i  d o n t  l i k e  s a n d

okay but what if everyone was like ‘vader, kenobi’s on tattooine. he’s obviously on tattooine. he’s been there for years. he’s just right fucking there, we all know it.’ and vader is just desperately shaking down jedi like they’re magic eight-balls and he wants a better fortune. like ‘no i don’t like that try again’. 
kenobi’s just sitting there in his pile of sand like a smug fucking bastard. he doesn’t need to hide jack shit. he went to the tattooine board of tourism and got them to print up flyers that say ‘COME TO TATTOOINE, WE HAVE SAND’ and luke is probably going to be safe until his midlife fucking crisis at this rate.
palpatine finds vader aimlessly checking behind pieces of furniture in some shitty space motel on kamino
‘he’s on tattooine,’ palpatine says. 
‘nuh uh,’ vader says, and peers under a couch.


peers under a couch


This is the best Star Wars post I have read in a while.

cupcakeshakesnake: thesouthernjedi: roachpatrol: ghostymcspooky: soloontherocks: notanotherreyloblog: thebaconsandwichofregret: azu...

foot: WillYouPressTheButton?.com I will not! You can shapeshift into any form you choose but People will always know it's you endyranartz: brightlotusmoon: a-holiday-franchise: perpetualcombustioninstruction: revereche: bogleech: elvenrainbow: shitsuren-chama: ocean-child-love: kaibas-paragraphical-mind: what-is-a-homestuck: WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT YOU COULD BE A FUCKING BADASS DRAGON THAT’S THE POINT “I AM A CREATURE OF DARKNESS” “oh hey sabrina.” I guess the point is that you could shapeshift into the body you always thought you’d grow into when you were a kid taller, shorter, slimmer, more muscular, purple hair, tattoos everywhere, tattoos nowhere,  every single shoe would fit you every single time you tried it on, every single article of clothing would fit your perfectly, all you have to do is transform slightly, you’d never run out of ‘your size’ again and you wouldn’t have to work for it at all, and you’d never be limitted by your bone structure or something. You could just transform at will. I don’t see how this is much of a downside When you turn into a sixty story tentacle demon and terrorize a city you want to get the credit you deserve Oh man that would be so sweet. I could be an annoying fuck as an insect or something but you couldn’t kill me because everyone would know That’s great but have you considered ~cosplay ~Halloween costumes ~acting ~cosplay ~stretching to reach stuff and shrinking to fit through spaces ~cosplay ~cosplay ~COSPLAY imagine being at work minding your business and then suddenly you look out the window and see like a 50ft tall flamingo and then someone just says “oh, yeah, that’s just pete, he does this sometimes, don’t worry” “BRB, gonna be a cat-sized dragon for a few hours. Might come home a foot taller with mood tattoos.” “Don’t antagonize the fae.” “I AM the fae, Susan.” This would be fun when around friends. 
foot: WillYouPressTheButton?.com
 I will not!
 You can shapeshift into
 any form you choose
 but
 People will always know
 it's you
endyranartz:

brightlotusmoon:
a-holiday-franchise:


perpetualcombustioninstruction:

revereche:

bogleech:

elvenrainbow:

shitsuren-chama:

ocean-child-love:

kaibas-paragraphical-mind:

what-is-a-homestuck:

WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT

YOU COULD BE A FUCKING BADASS DRAGON THAT’S THE POINT

“I AM A CREATURE OF DARKNESS” “oh hey sabrina.”

I guess the point is that you could shapeshift into the body you always thought you’d grow into when you were a kid
taller, shorter, slimmer, more muscular, purple hair, tattoos everywhere, tattoos nowhere, 
every single shoe would fit you every single time you tried it on, every single article of clothing would fit your perfectly, all you have to do is transform slightly, you’d never run out of ‘your size’ again
and you wouldn’t have to work for it at all, and you’d never be limitted by your bone structure or something. You could just transform at will.



I don’t see how this is much of a downside
When you turn into a sixty story tentacle demon and terrorize a city you want to get the credit you deserve

Oh man that would be so sweet. I could be an annoying fuck as an insect or something but you couldn’t kill me because everyone would know

That’s great but have you considered
~cosplay
~Halloween costumes
~acting
~cosplay
~stretching to reach stuff and shrinking to fit through spaces
~cosplay
~cosplay
~COSPLAY


imagine being at work minding your business and then suddenly you look out the window and see like a 50ft tall flamingo and then someone just says “oh, yeah, that’s just pete, he does this sometimes, don’t worry” 



“BRB, gonna be a cat-sized dragon for a few hours. Might come home a foot taller with mood tattoos.”
“Don’t antagonize the fae.”
“I AM the fae, Susan.”

This would be fun when around friends. 

endyranartz: brightlotusmoon: a-holiday-franchise: perpetualcombustioninstruction: revereche: bogleech: elvenrainbow: shitsuren-ch...

foot: gahdamnpunk: Cops are the foot-soldiers of capital. In any part of the world.
foot: gahdamnpunk:

Cops are the foot-soldiers of capital.

In any part of the world.

gahdamnpunk: Cops are the foot-soldiers of capital. In any part of the world.