fightings
 fightings

fightings

trying to figure out
 trying to figure out

trying to figure out

firstly
firstly

firstly

figures
figures

figures

figuratively
figuratively

figuratively

tur
tur

tur

yours
yours

yours

ons
ons

ons

toure
toure

toure

carefully
carefully

carefully

πŸ”₯ | Latest

Ass, Bitch, and Fucking: dick-rider-dave-strider: strangelyobsessedwithstuff: vialsofbrightforgettingpowders: ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN SO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH. NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED. PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITH A BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE. NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS POST FOR AGESthanks for the tip karkat reference
Ass, Bitch, and Fucking: dick-rider-dave-strider:

strangelyobsessedwithstuff:

vialsofbrightforgettingpowders:

ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD
THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS

YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN
SO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH.

NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED. PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITH A BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE.
NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING

NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE

GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED

IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS POST FOR AGESthanks for the tip karkat

reference

dick-rider-dave-strider: strangelyobsessedwithstuff: vialsofbrightforgettingpowders: ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT ...

Basketball, Dude, and Fam: "wow she really left our toxic relationship to be in a happy relationship?" Every dude has that one girl that we think β€œdamn what could have been?”. That girl is far from perfect, but a combination of personality,looks, and chemistry between the two of you was a perfect blend. You can’t reminisce on her king move on. You just scrolling through ya timeline looking for memes In bed to put your mood up when she updates her story. Dudes not FBI agents like girls. We be searching through tags and profiles for someone. We end up watching basketball highlights. But me I was determined. Shorty caught that heartbreak glow up. Once a girl cut her hair she a whole new person. She lost that Fupa and caught all the motivation she never had while with you. She focusing On God family and school now. She been hit with a Revelation to better her self for the next dude she with. And the funny thing for the Next dude If your girl was slim she got thick within a 4 day span. Her skin glowing, she bumped up from the 6.5 - to a respectable 8. It’s no nut November and you tryna stay strong but her new nigga don’t participate in that. He probably clapping as we speak. You see a snap of her and hear a dudes voice in the background. You trying to figure out if it’s her daddy or new man. But then you realize her daddy ain’t come back from Walmart. New dude voice deep like Mufasa. You sound like Hinata to him. This one hit to close to home fam. I’m still a dog tho.
Basketball, Dude, and Fam: "wow she really left our toxic relationship
 to be in a happy relationship?"
Every dude has that one girl that we think β€œdamn what could have been?”. That girl is far from perfect, but a combination of personality,looks, and chemistry between the two of you was a perfect blend. You can’t reminisce on her king move on. You just scrolling through ya timeline looking for memes In bed to put your mood up when she updates her story. Dudes not FBI agents like girls. We be searching through tags and profiles for someone. We end up watching basketball highlights. But me I was determined. Shorty caught that heartbreak glow up. Once a girl cut her hair she a whole new person. She lost that Fupa and caught all the motivation she never had while with you. She focusing On God family and school now. She been hit with a Revelation to better her self for the next dude she with. And the funny thing for the Next dude If your girl was slim she got thick within a 4 day span. Her skin glowing, she bumped up from the 6.5 - to a respectable 8. It’s no nut November and you tryna stay strong but her new nigga don’t participate in that. He probably clapping as we speak. You see a snap of her and hear a dudes voice in the background. You trying to figure out if it’s her daddy or new man. But then you realize her daddy ain’t come back from Walmart. New dude voice deep like Mufasa. You sound like Hinata to him. This one hit to close to home fam. I’m still a dog tho.

Every dude has that one girl that we think β€œdamn what could have been?”. That girl is far from perfect, but a combination of personality,loo...