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Black, Squirrel, and Never: I had never seen a black squirrel before! It took awhile, but now she’s my little buddy. I hand feed her peanuts nearly everyday.
Black, Squirrel, and Never: I had never seen a black squirrel before! It took awhile, but now she’s my little buddy. I hand feed her peanuts nearly everyday.

I had never seen a black squirrel before! It took awhile, but now she’s my little buddy. I hand feed her peanuts nearly everyday.

Best Friend, Chill, and Confused: fire-is-her-water: abracataako: merak-zoran: fire-is-her-water: My doggo, Ezri, who rarely barks and mostly borks. When I got her, she’d been abused and would cower and pee at almost everything, and had been mistreated when she’d barked, so she never would. One day months after I had her she got excited on a walk and borked at a bird, and then immediately cower-peed. I had to re-teach her to bark by gathering her whole human pack and having everyone bark and howl and feed her treats and pet her till she got excited enough to join in, and then got more treats. Took a while but I was able to teach her to bork on command (and she’s gotta be excited or she just stares at me like “Sorry, the bork system needs charging”) and she’ll do it happily when she’s excited to go for a walk or upon seeing a friend, and at birds. I love her croaky borking, especially when she started off terrified of making a joyful noise. What kind of dog is Ezri? I love her!! I… did not expect this post to blow up this much but I am delighted at all the tags and replies and Ezri has been told the internet thinks she’s a Very Good Dog. :D She’s a German spitz - in the same family as keeshonds and pomeranians. She might be crossed with something else as her freckled coat, non-pointy nose, and personality are not standard for her breed (they’re usually a lot more high energy and excitable - she’s super laid back and chill). She’s a bit less fluffy than breed-standard too, mostly because she’s grown out from her spring/summer trim (not usually necessary/good for her type of coat but she gets terribly itchy otherwise). It also makes her look like a puppy of a large breed: Ezri’s best friend is Murder Cat, who is a gentle friend to humans and Ezri, but does things to mice that would make Hannibal Lecter go “Isn’t that a bit much?” I got Murder Cat as a kitten, and she used to try to nurse on everything when she was small. Eventually, she settled on her favourite thing to nurse on, Ezri, who has never had puppies and a little confused at first but eventually went with it. She grew out of it, but they have stayed snuggly buddies ever since. New Years here is full of fireworks outside and Ezri gets Vry Scared. I usually set her up somewhere with a snuggly spot right by me, and Murder Cat comes and does this all night:  She goes everywhere with me in my bakfiets (cargo bike) and lets me warm my hands in her fur on cold days. And her ears disappear if I say her name to get her attention. ok so great thanks for coming to my TED talk about my dog, good night, drive safe
Best Friend, Chill, and Confused: fire-is-her-water:
abracataako:

merak-zoran:

fire-is-her-water:


My doggo, Ezri, who rarely barks and mostly borks.

When I got her, she’d been abused and would cower and pee at almost everything, and had been mistreated when she’d barked, so she never would. One day months after I had her she got excited on a walk and borked at a bird, and then immediately cower-peed. I had to re-teach her to bark by gathering her whole human pack and having everyone bark and howl and feed her treats and pet her till she got excited enough to join in, and then got more treats. Took a while but I was able to teach her to bork on command (and she’s gotta be excited or she just stares at me like “Sorry, the bork system needs charging”) and she’ll do it happily when she’s excited to go for a walk or upon seeing a friend, and at birds. I love her croaky borking, especially when she started off terrified of making a joyful noise.




What kind of dog is Ezri? I love her!!

I… did not expect this post to blow up this much but I am delighted at all the tags and replies and Ezri has been told the internet thinks she’s a Very Good Dog. :D
She’s a German spitz - in the same family as keeshonds and pomeranians. She might be crossed with something else as her freckled coat, non-pointy nose, and personality are not standard for her breed (they’re usually a lot more high energy and excitable - she’s super laid back and chill). She’s a bit less fluffy than breed-standard too, mostly because she’s grown out from her spring/summer trim (not usually necessary/good for her type of coat but she gets terribly itchy otherwise). It also makes her look like a puppy of a large breed:
Ezri’s best friend is Murder Cat, who is a gentle friend to humans and Ezri, but does things to mice that would make Hannibal Lecter go “Isn’t that a bit much?”
I got Murder Cat as a kitten, and she used to try to nurse on everything when she was small. Eventually, she settled on her favourite thing to nurse on, Ezri, who has never had puppies and a little confused at first but eventually went with it. She grew out of it, but they have stayed snuggly buddies ever since.
New Years here is full of fireworks outside and Ezri gets Vry Scared. I usually set her up somewhere with a snuggly spot right by me, and Murder Cat comes and does this all night: 
She goes everywhere with me in my bakfiets (cargo bike) and lets me warm my hands in her fur on cold days.
And her ears disappear if I say her name to get her attention.
ok so great thanks for coming to my TED talk about my dog, good night, drive safe

fire-is-her-water: abracataako: merak-zoran: fire-is-her-water: My doggo, Ezri, who rarely barks and mostly borks. When I got her, she’...

Ass, College, and Confused: let-the-phoenix-fly: malfkoys my cat has been fucking playing me for weeks, playing me like a fucking harp. I feed my cat twice a day with prescribed diet food because she's really fat and doesn't know when she's full so she never stops eating usually when I come home from class she is all over me like the whore of babylon all over me putting on a pity party and trying to get me to sin and give her more food but no matter what I only feed her the amount of food for her prescribed diet, but after awhile i started noticing that she wasn't loosing weight at all and was actually just getting fatter, so I called the vet pissed and i'm just like the fuck she's still getting fat. so I switched her to another diet food and that still didn't work and I was so confused and frustrated like what is wrong with this cat? so a couple weeks go by and I start noticing that I go through bags of food really fast like a week fast and I remembered how I thought that was so weird like l God honest could not figure out why the food disappeared so fast (my former naive and innocernt mind) well y'all ready here's the fucking climax-the other day my class was canceled and I come downstairs at like noonish and do you know what I see when I get down? I see my fucking cat sitting in the food bin. with my own two eyes I see her sitting in the fucking food bin. my spoiled ass cat has been eating like a fucking queen and living it the fuck up while I'm in class and then pretends like she's hungry when i get home. and you know what's the real kicker? when she leaves the lid gets knocked shut which is why i never caught onto her scam. she's fucking been working the system and playing the food game right under my fucking nose like i want to scream and now I have to call the vet and the morning and explain to him how, a well educated adult in college. got one-upped in intelligence by my fucking cat Read the whole thing what kind of posts do u want cause my stats been like bye bye
Ass, College, and Confused: let-the-phoenix-fly:
 malfkoys
 my cat has been fucking playing me for weeks, playing me like a fucking
 harp. I feed my cat twice a day with prescribed diet food because she's
 really fat and doesn't know when she's full so she never stops eating
 usually when I come home from class she is all over me like the whore of
 babylon all over me putting on a pity party and trying to get me to sin and
 give her more food but no matter what I only feed her the amount of food
 for her prescribed diet, but after awhile i started noticing that she wasn't
 loosing weight at all and was actually just getting fatter, so I called the vet
 pissed and i'm just like the fuck she's still getting fat. so I switched her to
 another diet food and that still didn't work and I was so confused and
 frustrated like what is wrong with this cat? so a couple weeks go by and I
 start noticing that I go through bags of food really fast like a week fast and
 I remembered how I thought that was so weird like l God honest could not
 figure out why the food disappeared so fast (my former naive and innocernt
 mind) well y'all ready here's the fucking climax-the other day my class
 was canceled and I come downstairs at like noonish and do you know
 what I see when I get down? I see my fucking cat sitting in the food bin.
 with my own two eyes I see her sitting in the fucking food bin. my spoiled
 ass cat has been eating like a fucking queen and living it the fuck up while
 I'm in class and then pretends like she's hungry when i get home. and you
 know what's the real kicker? when she leaves the lid gets knocked shut
 which is why i never caught onto her scam. she's fucking been working
 the system and playing the food game right under my fucking nose like i
 want to scream and now I have to call the vet and the morning and explain
 to him how, a well educated adult in college. got one-upped in
 intelligence by my fucking cat
 Read the whole thing
what kind of posts do u want cause my stats been like bye bye

what kind of posts do u want cause my stats been like bye bye

Android, Bad, and Chill: When you tell your boyfriend a joke and the girl under his bed starts laughing too Never forget your girls favorite color. I can’t explain why dudes cheat but answer this, if you got money in your wallet and you find another dollar, are you not going to pick it up? Long story short my girl was out of town at her friends graduation. She left me a spear key to come feed her dog through out the week. I did the opposite, I treated him like Gary the snail. I had my side girl over bout to get busy. You know that deep gut feeling that tells you “ight chill out” but you ignore it? That be God mercy tryna save you. I’m catching some bomb neck, I’m talking about My meat going through a 5 star car wash when I hear a engine pull up out front. I look out the window and see my girl hop out a Uber. My side girl hid under the bed. I can tell She done this before. I slid under the sheets and fake sleep. My girl comes in talking about she changed her flight to come home sooner. Android users text take 3 business days. Babe starts asking me what’s her favorite color. I confidently blurted our magenta. Here comes her dog with a red thong in his mouth. Damn dogs can’t stick together? The FBI agent in her came out and starts interrogating me. Under her sheets I’m getting my dick rode by bed bugs during the interrogation process. Im tryna figure how to get this girl out this crib before I’m toast. My girl mid way through her sentence when you hear a sneeze under her bed. Within seconds my girl downloaded a heart beat sensor. I swear Android users got it good. This is now modern warfare. I watch my girl play search&destroy with my side chick. Side chicks heartless so she couldn’t detect her. Me being the real nigga I am had to flip the whole situation on her. “I don’t like how you assume me as a black man cheat, if you don’t trust me Idk about this” Tears in my eyes because it smelled like fish cakes and my eyes couldn’t take it. My girl felt bad and hit me with the double hand twist Gawk combo. My girl said she was coming back Sunday and came back Friday. She lied to me. I can’t date liars fam. I broke up with her. I’m single and my side girl still live under my ex bed. She text me from time to time for help. Shoulda had a escape rope.
Android, Bad, and Chill: When you tell your boyfriend a joke
 and the girl under his bed starts
 laughing too
Never forget your girls favorite color. I can’t explain why dudes cheat but answer this, if you got money in your wallet and you find another dollar, are you not going to pick it up? Long story short my girl was out of town at her friends graduation. She left me a spear key to come feed her dog through out the week. I did the opposite, I treated him like Gary the snail. I had my side girl over bout to get busy. You know that deep gut feeling that tells you “ight chill out” but you ignore it? That be God mercy tryna save you. I’m catching some bomb neck, I’m talking about My meat going through a 5 star car wash when I hear a engine pull up out front. I look out the window and see my girl hop out a Uber. My side girl hid under the bed. I can tell She done this before. I slid under the sheets and fake sleep. My girl comes in talking about she changed her flight to come home sooner. Android users text take 3 business days. Babe starts asking me what’s her favorite color. I confidently blurted our magenta. Here comes her dog with a red thong in his mouth. Damn dogs can’t stick together? The FBI agent in her came out and starts interrogating me. Under her sheets I’m getting my dick rode by bed bugs during the interrogation process. Im tryna figure how to get this girl out this crib before I’m toast. My girl mid way through her sentence when you hear a sneeze under her bed. Within seconds my girl downloaded a heart beat sensor. I swear Android users got it good. This is now modern warfare. I watch my girl play search&destroy with my side chick. Side chicks heartless so she couldn’t detect her. Me being the real nigga I am had to flip the whole situation on her. “I don’t like how you assume me as a black man cheat, if you don’t trust me Idk about this” Tears in my eyes because it smelled like fish cakes and my eyes couldn’t take it. My girl felt bad and hit me with the double hand twist Gawk combo. My girl said she was coming back Sunday and came back Friday. She lied to me. I can’t date liars fam. I broke up with her. I’m single and my side girl still live under my ex bed. She text me from time to time for help. Shoulda had a escape rope.

Never forget your girls favorite color. I can’t explain why dudes cheat but answer this, if you got money in your wallet and you find anothe...

Children, Food, and Grandma: theinturnetexplorer Lauren Dobson-Hughes ldobsonhughes Amazing overheard at Whole Foods. "Um, I need to read the numbers on the barcode aloud to you. I don't want any lasers touching my food 8/7/15, 11:24 AM 3,116 RETWEETS 3,022 FAVORITES laser-free diet. floatingwithobriern y'all need to hear about gerb. gerb was my high school physics teacher. (gerb is short for mr. gerber.) when we were learning about radiation and whatnot, and we touched on radiation poisoning, gerb decided to tell us a story when gerb was in high school, he worked in a supermarket. a cashier. there was this one little old lady, mrs cassopolis, who was a regular. mrs. cassopolis firmly believed that the lasers used to scan her food items would give her radiation poisoning. they tried to explain that's not a thing. but old cass wouldn't hear a word of it. the employees had to punch in every last. grocery. item. MANUALLY. and this woman would buy cartfulls of food every week, like any good grandma trying to feed her five children and eighteen grandchildren every time they come for a Sunday visit. so pretty soon, the employees figured out a strategy to get her on her way and get on with their lives one or more employees would distract old cass while the cashier would scan all the items he could as fast as humanly possible while she wasn't paying attention. now this supermarket had a rewards program for its most efficient workers. the computer would track how quickly the cashiers scanned items, and how many total they scanned in one day, that kind of thing. so one day, gerb's boss came to him and said "uh," "you scanned three hundred items in six minutes last Tuesday during your shift" and gerb says "i recall" "that's about four times faster than anything i've ever seen" and gerb says "yea ok" "jeremy what happened?" and gerb says "i had to save a little old woman from placebo radiation" Source: theinturnetexplorer Gerb
Children, Food, and Grandma: theinturnetexplorer
 Lauren Dobson-Hughes
 ldobsonhughes
 Amazing overheard at Whole Foods.
 "Um, I need to read the numbers on
 the barcode aloud to you. I don't want
 any lasers touching my food
 8/7/15, 11:24 AM
 3,116 RETWEETS 3,022 FAVORITES
 laser-free diet.
 floatingwithobriern
 y'all need to hear about gerb.
 gerb was my high school physics
 teacher. (gerb is short for mr. gerber.)
 when we were learning about radiation
 and whatnot, and we touched on
 radiation poisoning, gerb decided to tell
 us a story
 when gerb was in high school, he
 worked in a supermarket. a cashier.
 there was this one little old lady, mrs
 cassopolis, who was a regular. mrs.
 cassopolis firmly believed that the
 lasers used to scan her food items
 would give her radiation poisoning. they
 tried to explain that's not a thing. but
 old cass wouldn't hear a word of it.
 the employees had to punch in every
 last. grocery. item. MANUALLY.
 and this woman would buy cartfulls of
 food every week, like any good
 grandma trying to feed her five children
 and eighteen grandchildren every time
 they come for a Sunday visit. so pretty
 soon, the employees figured out a
 strategy to get her on her way and get
 on with their lives
 one or more employees would distract
 old cass while the cashier would scan
 all the items he could as fast as
 humanly possible while she wasn't
 paying attention.
 now this supermarket had a rewards
 program for its most efficient workers.
 the computer would track how quickly
 the cashiers scanned items, and how
 many total they scanned in one day,
 that kind of thing. so one day, gerb's
 boss came to him and said "uh,"
 "you scanned three hundred items in
 six minutes last Tuesday during your
 shift"
 and gerb says "i recall"
 "that's about four times faster than
 anything i've ever seen"
 and gerb says "yea ok"
 "jeremy what happened?"
 and gerb says
 "i had to save a little old woman from
 placebo radiation"
 Source: theinturnetexplorer
Gerb

Gerb

Anime, Bad, and Crazy: Anonymous (ID: eQot91c+) 05/01/13(Wed)18:34:43 No.477045509 File: 1367447683568ipa-(9 KB, 480x360, yui.jpg) sbe me sbe 16 >be a total beta shave few friends nothing special -total weaboo >be doing duke of edinburgh award >for the volunteering decide to help a paralyzed girl and her mum >her dad was fighting over seas at the time -first day listen to the mum about what i'll be doing idgf >meet girl >10/10 DAYUM.jpeg -say hello how are you the usual shit >get started helping the mum cook >me and her get talking about her daughter ask what she does all day >she just lies in bed watching tv -feels bad man >don't think much other of it though >go in to take her food and to her feed her etc >SHE'S WATCHING DEATH NOTE >we start talking like crazy >discuss other anime >become friends quickly >keep up DoE award >keep talking to her >become very good friends >DoE ends *keep on visiting her after school >go out with her,with her in a wheel chair go to park and stuff -she's never been outside for a prolonged amount of time >start dating kind of >keep on visiting and helping out >watch anime together for a couple of weeks -get onto angel beats sepisode ten -find out Yui was paralyzed skeep quiet >marriage proposal scene >engageoverfeel png 10/10 girl asks if i would like her more if she could move -tears rolling down face -throw my arms around her >softly say "you are perfect the way you are, don't ever change" that was the first time i ever hugged my wife <p><a href="https://garagemovie.tumblr.com/post/156998030645/browsedankmemes-wholesome-greentext-via" class="tumblr_blog" target="_blank">garagemovie</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="http://browsedankmemes.com/post/156993764636/wholesome-greentext-via-rwholesomememes" class="tumblr_blog" target="_blank">browsedankmemes</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>Wholesome greentext via /r/wholesomememes <a href="http://ift.tt/2ktbmOA" target="_blank">http://ift.tt/2ktbmOA</a></p></blockquote> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="254" data-orig-width="356"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/f77bf3d1dd53a95edd99f5b9295c8050/tumblr_inline_ol32b0P6Wx1rk7yq5_540.png" data-orig-height="254" data-orig-width="356"/></figure></blockquote> <p>Stop. It&rsquo;s 1 am</p>
Anime, Bad, and Crazy: Anonymous (ID: eQot91c+) 05/01/13(Wed)18:34:43 No.477045509
 File: 1367447683568ipa-(9 KB, 480x360, yui.jpg)
 sbe me
 sbe 16
 >be a total beta
 shave few friends nothing special
 -total weaboo
 >be doing duke of edinburgh award
 >for the volunteering decide to help a paralyzed girl and her mum
 >her dad was fighting over seas at the time
 -first day listen to the mum about what i'll be doing idgf
 >meet girl
 >10/10
 DAYUM.jpeg
 -say hello how are you the usual shit
 >get started helping the mum cook
 >me and her get talking about her daughter
 ask what she does all day
 >she just lies in bed watching tv
 -feels bad man
 >don't think much other of it though
 >go in to take her food and to her feed her etc
 >SHE'S WATCHING DEATH NOTE
 >we start talking like crazy
 >discuss other anime
 >become friends quickly
 >keep up DoE award
 >keep talking to her
 >become very good friends
 >DoE ends
 *keep on visiting her after school
 >go out with her,with her in a wheel chair
 go to park and stuff
 -she's never been outside for a prolonged amount of time
 >start dating kind of
 >keep on visiting and helping out
 >watch anime together for a couple of weeks
 -get onto angel beats
 sepisode ten
 -find out Yui was paralyzed
 skeep quiet
 >marriage proposal scene
 >engageoverfeel png
 10/10 girl asks if i would like her more if she could move
 -tears rolling down face
 -throw my arms around her
 >softly say "you are perfect the way you are, don't ever change"
 that was the first time i ever hugged my wife
<p><a href="https://garagemovie.tumblr.com/post/156998030645/browsedankmemes-wholesome-greentext-via" class="tumblr_blog" target="_blank">garagemovie</a>:</p><blockquote>
<p><a href="http://browsedankmemes.com/post/156993764636/wholesome-greentext-via-rwholesomememes" class="tumblr_blog" target="_blank">browsedankmemes</a>:</p>
<blockquote><p>Wholesome greentext via /r/wholesomememes <a href="http://ift.tt/2ktbmOA" target="_blank">http://ift.tt/2ktbmOA</a></p></blockquote>
<figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="254" data-orig-width="356"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/f77bf3d1dd53a95edd99f5b9295c8050/tumblr_inline_ol32b0P6Wx1rk7yq5_540.png" data-orig-height="254" data-orig-width="356"/></figure></blockquote>

<p>Stop.  It&rsquo;s 1 am</p>

garagemovie: browsedankmemes: Wholesome greentext via /r/wholesomememes http://ift.tt/2ktbmOA Stop. It’s 1 am

Children, Food, and Grandma: Lauren Dobson-Hughes @ldobsonhughes Amazing - overheard at Whole Foods "Um, I need to read the numbers on the barcode aloud to you. I don't want any lasers touching my food." 8/7/15, 11:24 AM 3,116 RETWEETS 3,022 FAVORITES floatingwithobrien theinturnetexplorer: laser-free diet all need to hear about gerb gerb was my high school physics teacher. (gerb is short for mr. gerber.) when we were learning about radiation and whatnot, and we touched on radiation poisoning, gerb decided to tell us a story when gerb was in high school, he worked in a supermarket. a cashier there was this one little old lady, mrs. cassopolis, who was a regular mrs. cassopolis firmly believed that the lasers used to scan her food items would give her radiation poisoning. they tried to explain that's not a thing. but old cass wouldn't hear a word of it. the employees had to punch in every. last. grocery. item. MANUALLY and this woman would buy cartfulls of food every week, like any good grandma trying to feed her five children and eighteen grandchildren every time they come for a Sunday visit. so pretty soon, the employees figured out a strategy to get her on her way and get on with their lives one or more employees would distract old cass while the cashier would scan all the items he could as fast as humanly possible while she wasn't paying attention. now this supermarket had a rewards program for its most efficient workers. the computer would track how quickly the cashiers scanned items, and how many total they scanned in one day, that kind of thing so one day, gerb's boss came to him and said "uh," you scanned three hundred items in six minutes last Tuesday during your shift and gerb says "i recall" "that's about four times faster than anything i've ever seen" and gerb says "yea ok" jeremy what happened?" and gerb says "i had to save a little old woman from placebo radiation" Some people dont want superpowers, I guess
Children, Food, and Grandma: Lauren Dobson-Hughes
 @ldobsonhughes
 Amazing - overheard at Whole Foods
 "Um, I need to read the numbers on
 the barcode aloud to you. I don't want
 any lasers touching my food."
 8/7/15, 11:24 AM
 3,116 RETWEETS 3,022 FAVORITES
 floatingwithobrien
 theinturnetexplorer:
 laser-free diet
 all need to hear about gerb
 gerb was my high school physics teacher. (gerb is short for mr. gerber.)
 when we were learning about radiation and whatnot, and we touched
 on radiation poisoning, gerb decided to tell us a story
 when gerb was in high school, he worked in a supermarket. a cashier
 there was this one little old lady, mrs. cassopolis, who was a regular
 mrs. cassopolis firmly believed that the lasers used to scan her food
 items would give her radiation poisoning. they tried to explain that's
 not a thing. but old cass wouldn't hear a word of it.
 the employees had to punch in every. last. grocery. item. MANUALLY
 and this woman would buy cartfulls of food every week, like any good
 grandma trying to feed her five children and eighteen grandchildren
 every time they come for a Sunday visit. so pretty soon, the employees
 figured out a strategy to get her on her way and get on with their lives
 one or more employees would distract old cass while the cashier would
 scan all the items he could as fast as humanly possible while she wasn't
 paying attention.
 now this supermarket had a rewards program for its most efficient
 workers. the computer would track how quickly the cashiers scanned
 items, and how many total they scanned in one day, that kind of thing
 so one day, gerb's boss came to him and said "uh,"
 you scanned three hundred items in six minutes last Tuesday during
 your shift
 and gerb says "i recall"
 "that's about four times faster than anything i've ever seen"
 and gerb says "yea ok"
 jeremy what happened?"
 and gerb says
 "i had to save a little old woman from placebo radiation"
Some people dont want superpowers, I guess

Some people dont want superpowers, I guess

Best Friend, Chill, and Confused: fire-is-her-water: abracataako: merak-zoran: fire-is-her-water: My doggo, Ezri, who rarely barks and mostly borks. When I got her, she’d been abused and would cower and pee at almost everything, and had been mistreated when she’d barked, so she never would. One day months after I had her she got excited on a walk and borked at a bird, and then immediately cower-peed. I had to re-teach her to bark by gathering her whole human pack and having everyone bark and howl and feed her treats and pet her till she got excited enough to join in, and then got more treats. Took a while but I was able to teach her to bork on command (and she’s gotta be excited or she just stares at me like “Sorry, the bork system needs charging”) and she’ll do it happily when she’s excited to go for a walk or upon seeing a friend, and at birds. I love her croaky borking, especially when she started off terrified of making a joyful noise. What kind of dog is Ezri? I love her!! I… did not expect this post to blow up this much but I am delighted at all the tags and replies and Ezri has been told the internet thinks she’s a Very Good Dog. :D She’s a German spitz - in the same family as keeshonds and pomeranians. She might be crossed with something else as her freckled coat, non-pointy nose, and personality are not standard for her breed (they’re usually a lot more high energy and excitable - she’s super laid back and chill). She’s a bit less fluffy than breed-standard too, mostly because she’s grown out from her spring/summer trim (not usually necessary/good for her type of coat but she gets terribly itchy otherwise). It also makes her look like a puppy of a large breed: Ezri’s best friend is Murder Cat, who is a gentle friend to humans and Ezri, but does things to mice that would make Hannibal Lecter go “Isn’t that a bit much?” I got Murder Cat as a kitten, and she used to try to nurse on everything when she was small. Eventually, she settled on her favourite thing to nurse on, Ezri, who has never had puppies and a little confused at first but eventually went with it. She grew out of it, but they have stayed snuggly buddies ever since. New Years here is full of fireworks outside and Ezri gets Vry Scared. I usually set her up somewhere with a snuggly spot right by me, and Murder Cat comes and does this all night:  She goes everywhere with me in my bakfiets (cargo bike) and lets me warm my hands in her fur on cold days. And her ears disappear if I say her name to get her attention. ok so great thanks for coming to my TED talk about my dog, good night, drive safe
Best Friend, Chill, and Confused: fire-is-her-water:
abracataako:

merak-zoran:

fire-is-her-water:


My doggo, Ezri, who rarely barks and mostly borks.

When I got her, she’d been abused and would cower and pee at almost everything, and had been mistreated when she’d barked, so she never would. One day months after I had her she got excited on a walk and borked at a bird, and then immediately cower-peed. I had to re-teach her to bark by gathering her whole human pack and having everyone bark and howl and feed her treats and pet her till she got excited enough to join in, and then got more treats. Took a while but I was able to teach her to bork on command (and she’s gotta be excited or she just stares at me like “Sorry, the bork system needs charging”) and she’ll do it happily when she’s excited to go for a walk or upon seeing a friend, and at birds. I love her croaky borking, especially when she started off terrified of making a joyful noise.




What kind of dog is Ezri? I love her!!

I… did not expect this post to blow up this much but I am delighted at all the tags and replies and Ezri has been told the internet thinks she’s a Very Good Dog. :D
She’s a German spitz - in the same family as keeshonds and pomeranians. She might be crossed with something else as her freckled coat, non-pointy nose, and personality are not standard for her breed (they’re usually a lot more high energy and excitable - she’s super laid back and chill). She’s a bit less fluffy than breed-standard too, mostly because she’s grown out from her spring/summer trim (not usually necessary/good for her type of coat but she gets terribly itchy otherwise). It also makes her look like a puppy of a large breed:
Ezri’s best friend is Murder Cat, who is a gentle friend to humans and Ezri, but does things to mice that would make Hannibal Lecter go “Isn’t that a bit much?”
I got Murder Cat as a kitten, and she used to try to nurse on everything when she was small. Eventually, she settled on her favourite thing to nurse on, Ezri, who has never had puppies and a little confused at first but eventually went with it. She grew out of it, but they have stayed snuggly buddies ever since.
New Years here is full of fireworks outside and Ezri gets Vry Scared. I usually set her up somewhere with a snuggly spot right by me, and Murder Cat comes and does this all night: 
She goes everywhere with me in my bakfiets (cargo bike) and lets me warm my hands in her fur on cold days.
And her ears disappear if I say her name to get her attention.
ok so great thanks for coming to my TED talk about my dog, good night, drive safe

fire-is-her-water: abracataako: merak-zoran: fire-is-her-water: My doggo, Ezri, who rarely barks and mostly borks. When I got her, she’...

Children, Food, and Grandma: Lauren Dobson-Hughes @ldobsonhughes Amazing - overheard at Whole Foods. "Um, I need to read the numbers on the barcode aloud to you. I don't want any lasers touching my food." 8/7/15, 11:24 AM 3,116 RETWEETS 3,022 FAVORITES 13 floatingwithobrien: theinturnetexplorer: laser-free diet. y'all need to hear about gerb. gerb was my high school physics teacher. (gerb is short for mr. gerber.) when we were learning about radiation and whatnot, and we touched on radiation poisoning, gerb decided to tell us a story. when gerb was in high school, he worked in a supermarket. a cashier. there was this one little old lady, mrs. cassopolis, who was a regular. mrs. cassopolis firmly believed that the lasers used to scan her food items would give her radiation poisoning. they tried to explain that’s not a thing. but old cass wouldn’t hear a word of it. the employees had to punch in every. last. grocery. item. MANUALLY. and this woman would buy cartfulls of food every week, like any good grandma trying to feed her five children and eighteen grandchildren every time they come for a Sunday visit. so pretty soon, the employees figured out a strategy to get her on her way and get on with their lives. one or more employees would distract old cass while the cashier would scan all the items he could as fast as humanly possible while she wasn’t paying attention. now this supermarket had a rewards program for its most efficient workers. the computer would track how quickly the cashiers scanned items, and how many total they scanned in one day, that kind of thing. so one day, gerb’s boss came to him and said “uh,” “you scanned three hundred items in six minutes last Tuesday during your shift”and gerb says “i recall”“that’s about four times faster than anything i’ve ever seen”and gerb says “yea ok”“jeremy what happened?” and gerb says “i had to save a little old woman from placebo radiation”
Children, Food, and Grandma: Lauren Dobson-Hughes
 @ldobsonhughes
 Amazing - overheard at Whole Foods.
 "Um, I need to read the numbers on
 the barcode aloud to you. I don't want
 any lasers touching my food."
 8/7/15, 11:24 AM
 3,116 RETWEETS 3,022 FAVORITES
 13
floatingwithobrien:
theinturnetexplorer:

laser-free diet.

y'all need to hear about gerb. 
gerb was my high school physics teacher. (gerb is short for mr. gerber.) when we were learning about radiation and whatnot, and we touched on radiation poisoning, gerb decided to tell us a story. 
when gerb was in high school, he worked in a supermarket. a cashier. there was this one little old lady, mrs. cassopolis, who was a regular. mrs. cassopolis firmly believed that the lasers used to scan her food items would give her radiation poisoning. they tried to explain that’s not a thing. but old cass wouldn’t hear a word of it. 
the employees had to punch in every. last. grocery. item. MANUALLY. 
and this woman would buy cartfulls of food every week, like any good grandma trying to feed her five children and eighteen grandchildren every time they come for a Sunday visit. so pretty soon, the employees figured out a strategy to get her on her way and get on with their lives. 
one or more employees would distract old cass while the cashier would scan all the items he could as fast as humanly possible while she wasn’t paying attention. 
now this supermarket had a rewards program for its most efficient workers. the computer would track how quickly the cashiers scanned items, and how many total they scanned in one day, that kind of thing. so one day, gerb’s boss came to him and said “uh,”
“you scanned three hundred items in six minutes last Tuesday during your shift”and gerb says “i recall”“that’s about four times faster than anything i’ve ever seen”and gerb says “yea ok”“jeremy what happened?”
and gerb says
“i had to save a little old woman from placebo radiation”

floatingwithobrien: theinturnetexplorer: laser-free diet. y'all need to hear about gerb. gerb was my high school physics teacher. (gerb i...

Best Friend, Chill, and Confused: <p><a href="http://dandalf-thegay.tumblr.com/post/170994119442/fire-is-her-water-abracataako-merak-zoran" class="tumblr_blog">dandalf-thegay</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://fire-is-her-water.tumblr.com/post/170978939399/abracataako-merak-zoran" class="tumblr_blog">fire-is-her-water</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://abracataako.tumblr.com/post/170977403414/merak-zoran-fire-is-her-water-my-doggo" class="tumblr_blog">abracataako</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://merak-zoran.tumblr.com/post/170945654705/fire-is-her-water-my-doggo-ezri-who-rarely" class="tumblr_blog">merak-zoran</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://fire-is-her-water.tumblr.com/post/170937226484/my-doggo-ezri-who-rarely-barks-and-mostly" class="tumblr_blog">fire-is-her-water</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>My doggo, Ezri, who rarely barks and mostly borks.</p> <p>When I got her, she’d been abused and would cower and pee at almost everything, and had been mistreated when she’d barked, so she never would. One day months after I had her she got excited on a walk and borked at a bird, and then immediately cower-peed. I had to re-teach her to bark by gathering her whole human pack and having everyone bark and howl and feed her treats and pet her till she got excited enough to join in, and then got more treats. Took a while but I was able to teach her to bork on command (and she’s gotta be excited or she just stares at me like “Sorry, the bork system needs charging”) and she’ll do it happily when she’s excited to go for a walk or upon seeing a friend, and at birds. I love her croaky borking, especially when she started off terrified of making a joyful noise.</p> </blockquote> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="248" data-orig-width="450" data-tumblr-attribution="haidaspicciare:Vvry4LUoHrTPODcAw0X2rg:ZZ1zKu2H9aKW8"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/ef0c698113783e768cd579290e10b982/tumblr_ojqyq1lvEu1rfd7lko1_500.gif" data-orig-height="248" data-orig-width="450"/></figure></blockquote> <p>What kind of dog is Ezri? I love her!!</p> </blockquote> <p>I… did not expect this post to blow up this much but I am delighted at all the tags and replies and Ezri has been told the internet thinks she’s a Very Good Dog. :D</p> <p>She’s a German spitz - in the same family as keeshonds and pomeranians. She might be crossed with something else as her freckled coat, non-pointy nose, and personality are not standard for her breed (they’re usually a lot more high energy and excitable - she’s super laid back and chill). She’s a bit less fluffy than breed-standard too, mostly because she’s grown out from her spring/summer trim (not usually necessary/good for her type of coat but she gets terribly itchy otherwise). It also makes her look like a puppy of a large breed:<br/></p> <figure data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="960" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/c9b4183360780f25ae0246e4093236d4/tumblr_inline_p4av9rC8lr1taoskn_540.jpg" alt="image" data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="960"/></figure><p>Ezri’s best friend is Murder Cat, who is a gentle friend to humans and Ezri, but does things to mice that would make Hannibal Lecter go “Isn’t that a bit much?”</p> <figure data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="720" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/6fbcd9d00f5d178ad5a57247e169ae3d/tumblr_inline_p4avj7v8p71taoskn_540.jpg" alt="image" data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="720"/></figure><p>I got Murder Cat as a kitten, and she used to try to nurse on everything when she was small. Eventually, she settled on her favourite thing to nurse on, Ezri, who has never had puppies and a little confused at first but eventually went with it. She grew out of it, but they have stayed snuggly buddies ever since.</p> <figure data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="960" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/28103164a1804f04c927f4d5d92e0785/tumblr_inline_p4avotFTgi1taoskn_540.jpg" alt="image" data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="960"/></figure><p>New Years here is full of fireworks outside and Ezri gets Vry Scared. I usually set her up somewhere with a snuggly spot right by me, and Murder Cat comes and does this all night: </p> <figure data-orig-width="2048" data-orig-height="1377" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/765773d5f40b9b10091954f05973436b/tumblr_inline_p4avayOJTA1taoskn_540.jpg" alt="image" data-orig-width="2048" data-orig-height="1377"/></figure><p>She goes everywhere with me in my bakfiets (cargo bike) and lets me warm my hands in her fur on cold days.</p> <figure data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="960" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/f2531b609cc6f2e3e667bb0d0c79c4fd/tumblr_inline_p4awjt4pn61taoskn_540.jpg" alt="image" data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="960"/></figure><p>And her ears disappear if I say her name to get her attention.<br/></p> <figure data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="960" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/d03e54315c30750849ea112991a589c1/tumblr_inline_p4awju9pfx1taoskn_540.jpg" alt="image" data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="960"/></figure><p>ok so great thanks for coming to my TED talk about my dog, good night, drive safe</p> <figure data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="960" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/e7ddb530d8d4bdd3ce68e2bab5182a83/tumblr_inline_p4avxkn88v1taoskn_540.jpg" alt="image" data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="960"/></figure></blockquote> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="300" data-orig-width="540" data-tumblr-attribution="totaldivasepisodes:5mAijUxQ3lybBv2Savbs6A:Zk6RCm2MvpxDg"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/338914e4736d1041dc64f93bc1200655/tumblr_orttucRhYW1u1ljrzo1_540.gif" data-orig-height="300" data-orig-width="540"/></figure></blockquote>
Best Friend, Chill, and Confused: <p><a href="http://dandalf-thegay.tumblr.com/post/170994119442/fire-is-her-water-abracataako-merak-zoran" class="tumblr_blog">dandalf-thegay</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://fire-is-her-water.tumblr.com/post/170978939399/abracataako-merak-zoran" class="tumblr_blog">fire-is-her-water</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://abracataako.tumblr.com/post/170977403414/merak-zoran-fire-is-her-water-my-doggo" class="tumblr_blog">abracataako</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="https://merak-zoran.tumblr.com/post/170945654705/fire-is-her-water-my-doggo-ezri-who-rarely" class="tumblr_blog">merak-zoran</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://fire-is-her-water.tumblr.com/post/170937226484/my-doggo-ezri-who-rarely-barks-and-mostly" class="tumblr_blog">fire-is-her-water</a>:</p>

<blockquote>
<p>My doggo, Ezri, who rarely barks and mostly borks.</p>

<p>When I got her, she’d been abused and would cower and pee at almost everything, and had been mistreated when she’d barked, so she never would. One day months after I had her she got excited on a walk and borked at a bird, and then immediately cower-peed. I had to re-teach her to bark by gathering her whole human pack and having everyone bark and howl and feed her treats and pet her till she got excited enough to join in, and then got more treats. Took a while but I was able to teach her to bork on command (and she’s gotta be excited or she just stares at me like “Sorry, the bork system needs charging”) and she’ll do it happily when she’s excited to go for a walk or upon seeing a friend, and at birds. I love her croaky borking, especially when she started off terrified of making a joyful noise.</p>
</blockquote>

<figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="248" data-orig-width="450" data-tumblr-attribution="haidaspicciare:Vvry4LUoHrTPODcAw0X2rg:ZZ1zKu2H9aKW8"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/ef0c698113783e768cd579290e10b982/tumblr_ojqyq1lvEu1rfd7lko1_500.gif" data-orig-height="248" data-orig-width="450"/></figure></blockquote>

<p>What kind of dog is Ezri? I love her!!</p>
</blockquote>
<p>I… did not expect this post to blow up this much but I am delighted at all the tags and replies and Ezri has been told the internet thinks she’s a Very Good Dog. :D</p>
<p>She’s a German spitz - in the same family as keeshonds and pomeranians. She might be crossed with something else as her freckled coat, non-pointy nose, and personality are not standard for her breed (they’re usually a lot more high energy and excitable - she’s super laid back and chill). She’s a bit less fluffy than breed-standard too, mostly because she’s grown out from her spring/summer trim (not usually necessary/good for her type of coat but she gets terribly itchy otherwise). It also makes her look like a puppy of a large breed:<br/></p>
<figure data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="960" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/c9b4183360780f25ae0246e4093236d4/tumblr_inline_p4av9rC8lr1taoskn_540.jpg" alt="image" data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="960"/></figure><p>Ezri’s best friend is Murder Cat, who is a gentle friend to humans and Ezri, but does things to mice that would make Hannibal Lecter go “Isn’t that a bit much?”</p>
<figure data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="720" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/6fbcd9d00f5d178ad5a57247e169ae3d/tumblr_inline_p4avj7v8p71taoskn_540.jpg" alt="image" data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="720"/></figure><p>I got Murder Cat as a kitten, and she used to try to nurse on everything when she was small. Eventually, she settled on her favourite thing to nurse on, Ezri, who has never had puppies and a little confused at first but eventually went with it. She grew out of it, but they have stayed snuggly buddies ever since.</p>
<figure data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="960" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/28103164a1804f04c927f4d5d92e0785/tumblr_inline_p4avotFTgi1taoskn_540.jpg" alt="image" data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="960"/></figure><p>New Years here is full of fireworks outside and Ezri gets Vry Scared. I usually set her up somewhere with a snuggly spot right by me, and Murder Cat comes and does this all night: </p>
<figure data-orig-width="2048" data-orig-height="1377" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/765773d5f40b9b10091954f05973436b/tumblr_inline_p4avayOJTA1taoskn_540.jpg" alt="image" data-orig-width="2048" data-orig-height="1377"/></figure><p>She goes everywhere with me in my bakfiets (cargo bike) and lets me warm my hands in her fur on cold days.</p>
<figure data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="960" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/f2531b609cc6f2e3e667bb0d0c79c4fd/tumblr_inline_p4awjt4pn61taoskn_540.jpg" alt="image" data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="960"/></figure><p>And her ears disappear if I say her name to get her attention.<br/></p>
<figure data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="960" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/d03e54315c30750849ea112991a589c1/tumblr_inline_p4awju9pfx1taoskn_540.jpg" alt="image" data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="960"/></figure><p>ok so great thanks for coming to my TED talk about my dog, good night, drive safe</p>
<figure data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="960" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/e7ddb530d8d4bdd3ce68e2bab5182a83/tumblr_inline_p4avxkn88v1taoskn_540.jpg" alt="image" data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="960"/></figure></blockquote>

<figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="300" data-orig-width="540" data-tumblr-attribution="totaldivasepisodes:5mAijUxQ3lybBv2Savbs6A:Zk6RCm2MvpxDg"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/338914e4736d1041dc64f93bc1200655/tumblr_orttucRhYW1u1ljrzo1_540.gif" data-orig-height="300" data-orig-width="540"/></figure></blockquote>

dandalf-thegay: fire-is-her-water: abracataako: merak-zoran: fire-is-her-water: My doggo, Ezri, who rarely barks and mostly borks. Wh...

4chan, Anime, and Bad: Anonymous (ID: eQot91c+) 05/01/13(Wed)18:34:43 No.477045509 File: 1367447683568.i0g-(9 KB, 480x360, yui.jpg) >be me >be 16 >be a total beta >have few friends nothing special -total weaboo >be doing duke of edinburgh award for the volunteering decide to help a paralyzed girl and her mum sher dad was fighting over seas at the time >first day listen to the mum about what i'll be doing idgf >meet girl 10/10 DAYUM.jpeg >say hello how are you the usual shit >get started helping the mum cook >me and her get talking about her daughter >ask what she does all day >she just lies in bed watching t.v. -feels bad man >don't think much other of it though >go in to take her food and to her feed her etc >SHE'S WATCHING DEATH NOTE >we start talking like crazy >discuss other anime >become friends quickly >keep up DoE award >keep talking to her >become very good friends >DoE ends >keep on visiting her after school >go out with her,with her in a wheel chair >go to park and stuff >she's never been outside for a prolonged amount of time >start dating kind of >keep on visiting and helping out >watch anime together for a couple of weeks >get onto angel beats >episode ten find out Yui was paralyzed >keep quiet >marriage proposal scene >engageoverfeel.png 10/10 girl asks if i would like her more if she could move tears rolling down face throw my arms around her softly say you are perfect the way you are, don't ever change that was the first time i ever hugged my wife <p>4chan goes wholesome via /r/wholesomememes <a href="http://ift.tt/2tRmkPK">http://ift.tt/2tRmkPK</a></p>
4chan, Anime, and Bad: Anonymous (ID: eQot91c+) 05/01/13(Wed)18:34:43 No.477045509
 File: 1367447683568.i0g-(9 KB, 480x360, yui.jpg)
 >be me
 >be 16
 >be a total beta
 >have few friends nothing special
 -total weaboo
 >be doing duke of edinburgh award
 for the volunteering decide to help a paralyzed girl and her mum
 sher dad was fighting over seas at the time
 >first day listen to the mum about what i'll be doing idgf
 >meet girl
 10/10
 DAYUM.jpeg
 >say hello how are you the usual shit
 >get started helping the mum cook
 >me and her get talking about her daughter
 >ask what she does all day
 >she just lies in bed watching t.v.
 -feels bad man
 >don't think much other of it though
 >go in to take her food and to her feed her etc
 >SHE'S WATCHING DEATH NOTE
 >we start talking like crazy
 >discuss other anime
 >become friends quickly
 >keep up DoE award
 >keep talking to her
 >become very good friends
 >DoE ends
 >keep on visiting her after school
 >go out with her,with her in a wheel chair
 >go to park and stuff
 >she's never been outside for a prolonged amount of time
 >start dating kind of
 >keep on visiting and helping out
 >watch anime together for a couple of weeks
 >get onto angel beats
 >episode ten
 find out Yui was paralyzed
 >keep quiet
 >marriage proposal scene
 >engageoverfeel.png
 10/10 girl asks if i would like her more if she could move
 tears rolling down face
 throw my arms around her
 softly say you are perfect the way you are, don't ever change
 that was the first time i ever hugged my wife
<p>4chan goes wholesome via /r/wholesomememes <a href="http://ift.tt/2tRmkPK">http://ift.tt/2tRmkPK</a></p>

4chan goes wholesome via /r/wholesomememes http://ift.tt/2tRmkPK

Ass, College, and Confused: let-the-phoenix-fly malfxoys my cat has been fucking playing me for weeks, playing me like a fucking harp. I feed my cat twice a day with prescribed diet food because she's really fat and doesn't know when she's full so she never stops eating usually when I come home from class she is all over me like the whore of babylon all over me putting on a pity party and trying to get me to sin and give her more food but no matter what I only feed her the amount of food for her prescribed diet. but after awhile i started noticing that she wasn't loosing weight at all and was actually just getting fatter, so 1 called the vet pissed and I'm just like the fuck she's still getting fat so I switched her to another diet food and that still didn't work and I was so confused and frustrated like what is wrong with this cat? so a couple weeks go by and start noticing that I go through bags of food really fast like a week fast and I remembered how I thought that was so weird like I God honest could not figure out why the food disappeared so fast (my former naive and innocent mind) well y'all ready here's the fucking climax-the other day my class was canceled and I come downstairs at like noonish and do you knov what I see when I get down? I see my fucking cat sitting in the food bin with my own two eyes I see her sitting in the fucking food bin. my spoiled ass cat has been eating like a fucking queen and living it the fuck up while I'm in class and then pretends like she's hungry when I get home. and you know what's the real kicker? when she leaves the lid gets knocked shut which is why i never caught onto her scam. she's fucking been working the system and playing the food game right under my fucking nose like i want to scream and now I have to call the vet and the morning and explain to him how I, a well educated adult in college. got one-upped in intelligence by my fucking cat Read the whole thing. Just read the entire thing.
Ass, College, and Confused: let-the-phoenix-fly
 malfxoys
 my cat has been fucking playing me for weeks, playing me like a fucking
 harp. I feed my cat twice a day with prescribed diet food because she's
 really fat and doesn't know when she's full so she never stops eating
 usually when I come home from class she is all over me like the whore of
 babylon all over me putting on a pity party and trying to get me to sin and
 give her more food but no matter what I only feed her the amount of food
 for her prescribed diet. but after awhile i started noticing that she wasn't
 loosing weight at all and was actually just getting fatter, so 1 called the vet
 pissed and I'm just like the fuck she's still getting fat so I switched her to
 another diet food and that still didn't work and I was so confused and
 frustrated like what is wrong with this cat? so a couple weeks go by and
 start noticing that I go through bags of food really fast like a week fast and
 I remembered how I thought that was so weird like I God honest could not
 figure out why the food disappeared so fast (my former naive and innocent
 mind) well y'all ready here's the fucking climax-the other day my class
 was canceled and I come downstairs at like noonish and do you knov
 what I see when I get down? I see my fucking cat sitting in the food bin
 with my own two eyes I see her sitting in the fucking food bin. my spoiled
 ass cat has been eating like a fucking queen and living it the fuck up while
 I'm in class and then pretends like she's hungry when I get home. and you
 know what's the real kicker? when she leaves the lid gets knocked shut
 which is why i never caught onto her scam. she's fucking been working
 the system and playing the food game right under my fucking nose like i
 want to scream and now I have to call the vet and the morning and explain
 to him how I, a well educated adult in college. got one-upped in
 intelligence by my fucking cat
 Read the whole thing.
Just read the entire thing.

Just read the entire thing.

Anime, Bad, and Crazy: [ | Anonymous (ID: eQo+91c+) 05/01/13(Wed)18:34:43 No.477045509 File: 1367447683568.ipa-(9 KB, 480x360, yui.jpg) sbe me sbe 16 >be a total beta shave few friends nothing special total weaboo sbe doing duke of edinburgh award -for the volunteering decide to help a paralyzed girl and her mum her dad was fighting over seas at the time first day listen to the mum about what ill be doing idgf meet girl 10/10 >DAYUM.jpeg >say hello how are you the usual shit -get started helping the mum cook sme and her get talking about her daughter sask what she does all day sshe just lies in bed watching tv -feels bad man >dont think much other of it though -go in to take her food and to her feed her etc -SHE'S WATCHING DEATH NOTE >we start talking like crazy discuss other anime become friends quickly >keep up DoE award *keep talking to her >become very good friends >DoE ends >keep on visiting her after school >go out with her,with her in a wheel chair go to park and stuff sshe's never been outside for a prolonged amount of time sstart dating kind of skeep on visiting and helping out >watch anime together for a couple of weeks get onto angel beats >episode ten sfind out Yui was paralyzed >keep quiet marriage proposal scene Pengageoverfeel png 10/10 girl asks if i would like her more if she could move tears rolling down face -throw my arms around her >softly say "you are perfect the way you are, don't ever change" that was the first time i ever hugged my wife <p>Wholesome volunteering (x-post from r/greentext) via /r/wholesomememes <a href="http://ift.tt/2pto1kT">http://ift.tt/2pto1kT</a></p>
Anime, Bad, and Crazy: [ | Anonymous (ID: eQo+91c+) 05/01/13(Wed)18:34:43 No.477045509
 File: 1367447683568.ipa-(9 KB, 480x360, yui.jpg)
 sbe me
 sbe 16
 >be a total beta
 shave few friends nothing special
 total weaboo
 sbe doing duke of edinburgh award
 -for the volunteering decide to help a paralyzed girl and her mum
 her dad was fighting over seas at the time
 first day listen to the mum about what ill be doing idgf
 meet girl
 10/10
 >DAYUM.jpeg
 >say hello how are you the usual shit
 -get started helping the mum cook
 sme and her get talking about her daughter
 sask what she does all day
 sshe just lies in bed watching tv
 -feels bad man
 >dont think much other of it though
 -go in to take her food and to her feed her etc
 -SHE'S WATCHING DEATH NOTE
 >we start talking like crazy
 discuss other anime
 become friends quickly
 >keep up DoE award
 *keep talking to her
 >become very good friends
 >DoE ends
 >keep on visiting her after school
 >go out with her,with her in a wheel chair
 go to park and stuff
 sshe's never been outside for a prolonged amount of time
 sstart dating kind of
 skeep on visiting and helping out
 >watch anime together for a couple of weeks
 get onto angel beats
 >episode ten
 sfind out Yui was paralyzed
 >keep quiet
 marriage proposal scene
 Pengageoverfeel png
 10/10 girl asks if i would like her more if she could move
 tears rolling down face
 -throw my arms around her
 >softly say "you are perfect the way you are, don't ever change"
 that was the first time i ever hugged my wife
<p>Wholesome volunteering (x-post from r/greentext) via /r/wholesomememes <a href="http://ift.tt/2pto1kT">http://ift.tt/2pto1kT</a></p>

Wholesome volunteering (x-post from r/greentext) via /r/wholesomememes http://ift.tt/2pto1kT

Anime, Bad, and Crazy: Anonymous (ID: eQot91c+) 05/01/13(Wed)18:34:43 No.477045509 File: 1367447683568ipa-(9 KB, 480x360, yui.jpg) sbe me sbe 16 >be a total beta shave few friends nothing special -total weaboo >be doing duke of edinburgh award >for the volunteering decide to help a paralyzed girl and her mum >her dad was fighting over seas at the time -first day listen to the mum about what i'll be doing idgf >meet girl >10/10 DAYUM.jpeg -say hello how are you the usual shit >get started helping the mum cook >me and her get talking about her daughter ask what she does all day >she just lies in bed watching tv -feels bad man >don't think much other of it though >go in to take her food and to her feed her etc >SHE'S WATCHING DEATH NOTE >we start talking like crazy >discuss other anime >become friends quickly >keep up DoE award >keep talking to her >become very good friends >DoE ends *keep on visiting her after school >go out with her,with her in a wheel chair go to park and stuff -she's never been outside for a prolonged amount of time >start dating kind of >keep on visiting and helping out >watch anime together for a couple of weeks -get onto angel beats sepisode ten -find out Yui was paralyzed skeep quiet >marriage proposal scene >engageoverfeel png 10/10 girl asks if i would like her more if she could move -tears rolling down face -throw my arms around her >softly say "you are perfect the way you are, don't ever change" that was the first time i ever hugged my wife <p>Wholesome greentext via /r/wholesomememes <a href="http://ift.tt/2ktbmOA">http://ift.tt/2ktbmOA</a></p>
Anime, Bad, and Crazy: Anonymous (ID: eQot91c+) 05/01/13(Wed)18:34:43 No.477045509
 File: 1367447683568ipa-(9 KB, 480x360, yui.jpg)
 sbe me
 sbe 16
 >be a total beta
 shave few friends nothing special
 -total weaboo
 >be doing duke of edinburgh award
 >for the volunteering decide to help a paralyzed girl and her mum
 >her dad was fighting over seas at the time
 -first day listen to the mum about what i'll be doing idgf
 >meet girl
 >10/10
 DAYUM.jpeg
 -say hello how are you the usual shit
 >get started helping the mum cook
 >me and her get talking about her daughter
 ask what she does all day
 >she just lies in bed watching tv
 -feels bad man
 >don't think much other of it though
 >go in to take her food and to her feed her etc
 >SHE'S WATCHING DEATH NOTE
 >we start talking like crazy
 >discuss other anime
 >become friends quickly
 >keep up DoE award
 >keep talking to her
 >become very good friends
 >DoE ends
 *keep on visiting her after school
 >go out with her,with her in a wheel chair
 go to park and stuff
 -she's never been outside for a prolonged amount of time
 >start dating kind of
 >keep on visiting and helping out
 >watch anime together for a couple of weeks
 -get onto angel beats
 sepisode ten
 -find out Yui was paralyzed
 skeep quiet
 >marriage proposal scene
 >engageoverfeel png
 10/10 girl asks if i would like her more if she could move
 -tears rolling down face
 -throw my arms around her
 >softly say "you are perfect the way you are, don't ever change"
 that was the first time i ever hugged my wife
<p>Wholesome greentext via /r/wholesomememes <a href="http://ift.tt/2ktbmOA">http://ift.tt/2ktbmOA</a></p>

Wholesome greentext via /r/wholesomememes http://ift.tt/2ktbmOA

Children, Food, and Grandma: Lauren Dobson-Hughes @ldobsonhughes Amazing - overheard at Whole Foods. "Um, I need to read the numbers on the barcode aloud to you. I don't want any lasers touching my food." 8/7/15, 11:24 AM 3,116 RETWEETS 3,022 FAVORITES floatingwithobrien theinturnetexplorer laser-free diet. y'all need to hear about gerb gerb was my high school physics teacher. (gerb is short for mr. gerber.) when we were learning about radiation and whatnot, and we touched on radiation poisoning, gerb decided to tell us a story when gerb was in high school, he worked in a supermarket. a cashier. there was this one little old lady, mrs. cassopolis, who was a regular. mrs cassopolis firmly believed that the lasers used to scan her food items would give her radiation poisoning. they tried to explain that's not a thing. but old cass wouldn't hear a word of it. the employees had to punch in every. last. grocery. item. MANUALLY and this woman would buy cartfulls of food every week, like any good grandma trying to feed her five children and eighteen grandchildren every time they come for a Sunday visit. so pretty soon, the employees figured out a strategy to get her on her way and get on with their lives one or more employees would distract old cass while the cashier would scan all the items he could as fast as humanly possible while she wasn't paying attention. now this supermarket had a rewards program for its most efficient workers the computer would track how quickly the cashiers scanned items, and how many total they scanned in one day, that kind of thing. so one day, gerb's boss came to him and said "uh," "you scanned three hundred items in six minutes last Tuesday during your shift and gerb says "i recall" "that's about four times faster than anything ive ever seen" and gerb says "yea ok" "jeremy what happened?" and gerb says "i had to save a little old woman from placebo radiation" Source: theinturnetexpl 145,411 notes Employee of the Centuryomg-humor.tumblr.com
Children, Food, and Grandma: Lauren Dobson-Hughes
 @ldobsonhughes
 Amazing - overheard at Whole Foods.
 "Um, I need to read the numbers on
 the barcode aloud to you. I don't want
 any lasers touching my food."
 8/7/15, 11:24 AM
 3,116 RETWEETS 3,022 FAVORITES
 floatingwithobrien
 theinturnetexplorer
 laser-free diet.
 y'all need to hear about gerb
 gerb was my high school physics teacher. (gerb is short for mr. gerber.)
 when we were learning about radiation and whatnot, and we touched on
 radiation poisoning, gerb decided to tell us a story
 when gerb was in high school, he worked in a supermarket. a cashier. there
 was this one little old lady, mrs. cassopolis, who was a regular. mrs
 cassopolis firmly believed that the lasers used to scan her food items would
 give her radiation poisoning. they tried to explain that's not a thing. but old
 cass wouldn't hear a word of it.
 the employees had to punch in every. last. grocery. item. MANUALLY
 and this woman would buy cartfulls of food every week, like any good
 grandma trying to feed her five children and eighteen grandchildren every
 time they come for a Sunday visit. so pretty soon, the employees figured
 out a strategy to get her on her way and get on with their lives
 one or more employees would distract old cass while the cashier would
 scan all the items he could as fast as humanly possible while she wasn't
 paying attention.
 now this supermarket had a rewards program for its most efficient workers
 the computer would track how quickly the cashiers scanned items, and how
 many total they scanned in one day, that kind of thing. so one day, gerb's
 boss came to him and said "uh,"
 "you scanned three hundred items in six minutes last Tuesday during your
 shift
 and gerb says "i recall"
 "that's about four times faster than anything ive ever seen"
 and gerb says "yea ok"
 "jeremy what happened?"
 and gerb says
 "i had to save a little old woman from placebo radiation"
 Source: theinturnetexpl
 145,411 notes
Employee of the Centuryomg-humor.tumblr.com

Employee of the Centuryomg-humor.tumblr.com