Riches
Riches

Riches

Bigly
Bigly

Bigly

Told
Told

Told

I Have
I Have

I Have

Sons
Sons

Sons

When I Was
When I Was

When I Was

Me As A Parent
Me As A Parent

Me As A Parent

Gold Star
Gold Star

Gold Star

shredding
shredding

shredding

father of the year
 father of the year

father of the year

🔥 | Latest

Beautiful, Bitch, and Boo: olivia joy @livvmaloney when I dropped everything to do some Brazilian man's English homework: all Verizon 10:00 PM _paulocaetano Today at 9:24 PM Done Hey Kitty girl I need some help Pleaseeee Yo Thank god Are u American? Yes I'm brazilian Here we have english class And i'm hang out with a cute guy I want to impress Write a message... . Verizon 10:00 PM Done paulocaetano If i impress him I can Kiss on this weekend Are you asking me how to impress him? 6) a-( ) Did / eat b-( ) Did / eaten you c-( ) Have /eaten d-( ) Have / eat a movie last Saturday 7) Mary a-( ) did watch b-( ) didn't watch C-( d-( ) didn't watched ) has watched March 8) He hasn't come here d-( ) already b-( )just 9) The cake is ready I have a-( ) already b-( ) yet prepared it { ) for d-( ) never at home last week 10) My father a-( ) has stayed have stayed d-( ) did stay to the USA last year 11) He a-( ) move b-( ) moved C-( ) has moved d-( ) did move twenty years. 12)r've lived here a-(since b-() yet c-( ) already d-( ) for O Reply Choose the correct alternative 1) Last year she a-( )did go b-( ) has gone to England on holiday c-( ) went d-( ) did went 2) I a-( ) have visited b-( ) visited a lot of interesting places yesterday C-( ) have visit d-( ) did visit 3) The students a-( ) saw b-( ) has seen a beautiful rainbow c-( ) have see d-( ) have seen 4) the man much money last night ? c-() Did / spend Write a message... . Verizon 10:00 PM Done paulocaetano 1) Last year she a-() did go b-( ) has gone to England on holiday c-( ) went d-( ) did went 2) 1 a-( ) have visited b-( ) visited a lot of interesting places yesterday c-《 ) have visit d-( ) did visit 3) The students a-( ) saw b-( ) has seen a beautiful rainbow c-f ) have see d-( ) have seen much money last night? ) Did / spend ) Has / spend the man a-( ) Did / spent b-( ) Has / spent c-( d-( some gifts for his children 5) He a-( ) has brought b-( ) has bring C-( ) brought d-f ) did bring Japanese food ? you already 6) a-( ) Did/ eat c-() Have / eatern d-( ) Have / eat Did/ eaten O Reply I need help in this shit I got u fam So u Will help me? Yes going to do it now for you One minute Thank Boo i knew New york's girls are the best one I'm from Rhode Island boo, even better Write a message... Verizon 10:00 PM Done paulocaetano I ask help for a cali chick and she block me What a bitch Yaas grl Omg grl U write U rock Write a message... livingwithdystonia: tiny-septic-box-sam: bornlucky: bonus: I’ve never seen this with the update and it makes it so much funnier did he do her Spanish homework!? I must know! Brazilians speak Portuguese.
Beautiful, Bitch, and Boo: olivia joy
 @livvmaloney
 when I dropped everything to do some
 Brazilian man's English homework:

 all Verizon
 10:00 PM
 _paulocaetano
 Today at 9:24 PM
 Done
 Hey Kitty girl
 I need some help
 Pleaseeee
 Yo
 Thank god
 Are u American?
 Yes
 I'm brazilian
 Here we have english class
 And i'm hang out with a cute guy
 I want to impress
 Write a message...

 . Verizon
 10:00 PM
 Done
 paulocaetano
 If i impress him
 I can Kiss on this weekend
 Are you asking me how to impress
 him?
 6)
 a-( ) Did / eat
 b-( ) Did / eaten
 you
 c-( ) Have /eaten
 d-( ) Have / eat
 a movie last Saturday
 7) Mary
 a-( ) did watch
 b-( ) didn't watch
 C-(
 d-(
 ) didn't watched
 ) has watched
 March
 8) He hasn't come here
 d-( ) already
 b-( )just
 9) The cake is ready I have
 a-( ) already
 b-( ) yet
 prepared it
 { ) for
 d-( ) never
 at home last week
 10) My father
 a-( ) has stayed
 have stayed
 d-(
 ) did stay
 to the USA last year
 11) He
 a-( ) move
 b-( ) moved
 C-( ) has moved
 d-( ) did move
 twenty years.
 12)r've lived here
 a-(since
 b-() yet
 c-( ) already
 d-( ) for
 O Reply
 Choose the correct alternative
 1) Last year she
 a-( )did go
 b-( ) has gone
 to England on holiday
 c-( ) went
 d-( ) did went
 2) I
 a-( ) have visited
 b-( ) visited
 a lot of interesting places yesterday
 C-( ) have visit
 d-( ) did visit
 3) The students
 a-( ) saw
 b-( ) has seen
 a beautiful rainbow
 c-( ) have see
 d-( ) have seen
 4)
 the man
 much money last night ?
 c-() Did / spend
 Write a message...

 . Verizon
 10:00 PM
 Done
 paulocaetano
 1) Last year she
 a-() did go
 b-( ) has gone
 to England on holiday
 c-( ) went
 d-( ) did went
 2) 1
 a-( ) have visited
 b-( ) visited
 a lot of interesting places yesterday
 c-《 ) have visit
 d-( ) did visit
 3) The students
 a-( ) saw
 b-( ) has seen
 a beautiful rainbow
 c-f ) have see
 d-( ) have seen
 much money last night?
 ) Did / spend
 ) Has / spend
 the man
 a-( ) Did / spent
 b-( ) Has / spent
 c-(
 d-(
 some gifts for his children
 5) He
 a-( ) has brought
 b-( ) has bring
 C-( ) brought
 d-f ) did bring
 Japanese food ?
 you already
 6)
 a-( ) Did/ eat
 c-() Have / eatern
 d-( ) Have / eat
 Did/ eaten
 O Reply
 I need help in this shit
 I got u fam
 So u Will help me?
 Yes going to do it now for you
 One minute
 Thank Boo i knew New york's girls
 are the best one
 I'm from Rhode Island boo, even
 better
 Write a message...

 Verizon
 10:00 PM
 Done
 paulocaetano
 I ask help for a cali chick and she
 block me
 What a bitch
 Yaas grl
 Omg grl
 U write
 U rock
 Write a message...
livingwithdystonia:

tiny-septic-box-sam:
bornlucky:

bonus:



I’ve never seen this with the update and it makes it so much funnier

did he do her Spanish homework!? I must know!

Brazilians speak Portuguese.

livingwithdystonia: tiny-septic-box-sam: bornlucky: bonus: I’ve never seen this with the update and it makes it so much funnier did he...

Android, Another One, and Dad: AngryMarn @AngryManTV Had a really proud dad moment today Dropped my oldest off at school at 7:30. Helped her carry her project board to the classroom. She was like You coming back at 8.3O for my presentation?" Told her l couldn't cuz l had a 9am meeting in the office 4:10 PM 3/18/19 Twitter for Android 16.1K Retweets 46K Likes AngryMan @AngryManTV. 23h Replying to @AngryManTV Gave her a hug & kiss, then prayed with her, but knew she was disappointed Drove back home & got dressed for work. Was driving to the Metro when I detoured to her school. Grabbed my work phone & sent an email telling them I'd be in after 10. 16 450 4,026 AngryMan @AngryManTV 23h As hard as I worked with her on that project and rehearsing that presentation I had to be there. I needed to support my baby girl. Work could wait. 916 t49 5,557 AngryMan @AngryManTV 23h I hit her teacher with a Class Dojo (parents know.. LOL) message letting her know I was coming. "Please don't let her present without me there" I said. I got to the school at like 8:45, signed in & ran down the hall t2385 3,894 AngryMan @AngryManTV 23h I walked in the classroom as another young man was doing his presentation. My daughter was sitting there at her desk listening. She saw me and lit up The glow damn near brought tears to my eyes. A big bright smile came to her face Her teacher also saw me and smiled 14 t727 8,838 AngryMan @AngryManTV 23h A few more kids did there presentations and then my daughter was up. Man, listen. She killed it!! Everything we had practiced and then some. She was articulate, spoke clearly and loudly. She answered all questions from other students with ease 93 507 7010 AngryMan @AngryManTV 23h When she finished and sat back down, I walked over to her desk, gave her a quick kiss on the forehead & told her "Amazing job!!" t370 4,236 4 AngryMan @AngryManTV 23h Another one of my partners was there supporting his son. That dude had just got off work after working a 12 hours overnight shift, but was there to see his lil man. I stayed and watched his son's presentation. 520 7009 AngryMan @AngryManTV 23h Afterwards we left and just talked about the sacrifices we make as fathers and how often we're overlooked. I appreciate the brothas in my circle. Great fathers who care 15 738 8,086 AngryMan @AngryManTV 23h I left the school and got to work at like 10:45. I ain't care what nobody had to say. Nothing else mattered. An overwhelming feeling of pride has been with me all day. I look forward to getting home to give her another big hug and listen to her tell her story This is what being a real father is all about! Dads don’t sometimes get recognized so this warmed my heart by WVUGuy29 MORE MEMES
Android, Another One, and Dad: AngryMarn
 @AngryManTV
 Had a really proud dad moment today
 Dropped my oldest off at school at
 7:30. Helped her carry her project
 board to the classroom. She was like
 You coming back at 8.3O for my
 presentation?" Told her l couldn't cuz l
 had a 9am meeting in the office
 4:10 PM 3/18/19 Twitter for Android
 16.1K Retweets 46K Likes
 AngryMan @AngryManTV. 23h
 Replying to @AngryManTV
 Gave her a hug & kiss, then prayed with
 her, but knew she was disappointed
 Drove back home & got dressed for
 work. Was driving to the Metro when I
 detoured to her school. Grabbed my
 work phone & sent an email telling them
 I'd be in after 10.
 16
 450
 4,026
 AngryMan @AngryManTV 23h
 As hard as I worked with her on that
 project and rehearsing that presentation
 I had to be there. I needed to support my
 baby girl. Work could wait.
 916 t49 5,557
 AngryMan @AngryManTV 23h
 I hit her teacher with a Class Dojo
 (parents know.. LOL) message letting
 her know I was coming. "Please don't let
 her present without me there" I said. I
 got to the school at like 8:45, signed in &
 ran down the hall
 t2385
 3,894
 AngryMan @AngryManTV 23h
 I walked in the classroom as another
 young man was doing his presentation.
 My daughter was sitting there at her
 desk listening. She saw me and lit up
 The glow damn near brought tears to my
 eyes. A big bright smile came to her face
 Her teacher also saw me and smiled
 14 t727 8,838
 AngryMan @AngryManTV 23h
 A few more kids did there presentations
 and then my daughter was up. Man,
 listen. She killed it!! Everything we had
 practiced and then some. She was
 articulate, spoke clearly and loudly. She
 answered all questions from other
 students with ease
 93 507 7010
 AngryMan @AngryManTV 23h
 When she finished and sat back down, I
 walked over to her desk, gave her a quick
 kiss on the forehead & told her "Amazing
 job!!"
 t370
 4,236
 4
 AngryMan @AngryManTV 23h
 Another one of my partners was there
 supporting his son. That dude had just
 got off work after working a 12 hours
 overnight shift, but was there to see his
 lil man. I stayed and watched his son's
 presentation.
 520 7009
 AngryMan @AngryManTV 23h
 Afterwards we left and just talked about
 the sacrifices we make as fathers and
 how often we're overlooked. I appreciate
 the brothas in my circle. Great fathers
 who care
 15 738 8,086
 AngryMan @AngryManTV 23h
 I left the school and got to work at like
 10:45. I ain't care what nobody had to
 say. Nothing else mattered. An
 overwhelming feeling of pride has been
 with me all day. I look forward to getting
 home to give her another big hug and
 listen to her tell her story
This is what being a real father is all about! Dads don’t sometimes get recognized so this warmed my heart by WVUGuy29
MORE MEMES

This is what being a real father is all about! Dads don’t sometimes get recognized so this warmed my heart by WVUGuy29 MORE MEMES

Being Alone, Be Like, and Bitch: 11Alive News @11AliveNews She went to the hospital to have her baby. Now her husband is raising two kids alone: on.11alive.com/2P9SS5 8:12 AM Oct 18, 2018 647 Retweets 929 Likes GEM @ROZtheCreator Dear BLACK WOMEN, It's time to educate ourselves even further... I believe it's time to hire more midwives or doulas and try to do home births.. idk if you guys didn't see that video where that Doctor explained that they don't listen BLACK WOMEN.., well here's proof 11Alive News @11AliveNews She went to the hospital to have her babv. Now her husband is raising two kids alone on.11alive.com/2P9SS5I 1:30 PM Oct 18, 2018 4K Retweets 6K Likes uncommonbish: mx-lamont: uncommonbish: BLACK MOTHERS shouldn’t be dying after giving birth but they are and it isn’t because of complications or health issues, it’s because NO ONE IS LISTENING WHEN THEY SPEAK! My little sister’s birthing is PRIME example of this! My parents ended up suing a hospital because Instead of the doctor being the one to deliver my little sister some random nurse did it. And SHE cut the umbilical cord (From where I come from that is the father’s duty) A janitor walked in right before delivery while my mom was in stirrups (business all out) to “mop the floor” They didn’t get my mom the right dosage of anastasia And to top it all off My mom literally KICKED that bitch of a fuckin nurse because on my mother’s paper work it say she is ALLERGIC TO LATEX!! 👏🏾AND👏🏾 WHAT👏🏾 DOES 👏🏾THAT👏🏾 BITCH 👏🏾WEAR👏🏾?!? LATEX GLOVES!!! My father had to run to the CVS across the street to buy a box of non-latex gloves for them to use because they didn’t have ANY non-latex gloves in the ENTIRE FUCKING HOSPITAL!!! I wish I were making this up. I wish I could just be like “lol jk” But my mother almost lost her life in birth because the hospital staff didn’t listen to her the SEVERAL TIMES she was trying to tell them something was wrong.
Being Alone, Be Like, and Bitch: 11Alive News
 @11AliveNews
 She went to the hospital to have her
 baby. Now her husband is raising two
 kids alone: on.11alive.com/2P9SS5
 8:12 AM Oct 18, 2018
 647 Retweets
 929 Likes

 GEM
 @ROZtheCreator
 Dear BLACK WOMEN,
 It's time to educate ourselves even
 further... I believe it's time to hire
 more midwives or doulas and try to
 do home births.. idk if you guys didn't
 see that video where that Doctor
 explained that they don't listen BLACK
 WOMEN.., well here's proof
 11Alive News @11AliveNews
 She went to the hospital to have her babv. Now her
 husband is raising two kids alone
 on.11alive.com/2P9SS5I
 1:30 PM Oct 18, 2018
 4K Retweets
 6K Likes
uncommonbish:

mx-lamont:

uncommonbish:
BLACK MOTHERS shouldn’t be dying after giving birth but they are and it isn’t because of complications or health issues, it’s because NO ONE IS LISTENING WHEN THEY SPEAK!

My little sister’s birthing is PRIME example of this!
My parents ended up suing a hospital because
 Instead of the doctor being the one to deliver my little sister some random nurse did it. 
And SHE cut the umbilical cord (From where I come from that is the father’s duty)
A janitor walked in right before delivery while my mom was in stirrups (business all out) to “mop the floor”
They didn’t get my mom the right dosage of anastasia
And to top it all off
My mom literally KICKED that bitch of a fuckin nurse because on my mother’s paper work it say she is ALLERGIC TO LATEX!! 👏🏾AND👏🏾 WHAT👏🏾 DOES 👏🏾THAT👏🏾 BITCH 👏🏾WEAR👏🏾?!? LATEX GLOVES!!! 
My father had to run to the CVS across the street to buy a box of non-latex gloves for them to use because they didn’t have ANY non-latex gloves in the ENTIRE FUCKING HOSPITAL!!!
I wish I were making this up. I wish I could just be like “lol jk”
But my mother almost lost her life in birth because the hospital staff didn’t listen to her the SEVERAL TIMES she was trying to tell them something was wrong.

uncommonbish: mx-lamont: uncommonbish: BLACK MOTHERS shouldn’t be dying after giving birth but they are and it isn’t because of complicati...

Aladdin, Candy, and Children: Toy Story: Andy's Parents Are Divorcing You never see the Dad They are moving (to a smaller house no less The Mom's wedding ring is off in the shot where she picks up the Burz box -Andy is introverted and emotionally attached to inanimate, masculine figures -They get a puppy (surprisingly common for divorcees) None of the babies in "Rugrats" actually exist, but they are all instead figments of Angelica's imagination, as result of her parent's negligence. Chuckie died with his mother, which explains how much of a nervous wreck his father is. Tommy was a stillborn baby, which explains why his father, Stu, was always in the basement making toys for the son he never had. Finally, the DeVilles had an abortion To compensate for not knowing the sex of the baby, Angelica invented twins in her head, one boy, one girl Willy Wonka knew those children would die in his factory, After Augustus gets sucked up the shoot, they all hop on board the boat through the tunnel of doom. The boat doesn't have two extra vacant seats thoughh Iit was designed with prior knowledge that they would lose two participants before that point. Later they drive a creanm spewing car with only four seats. Did they have another car waiting in the garage in case the others made it? Of course not. Willy Wonka uses children to make candy There's a scene in "Aladdin where Genie calls Aladdin's clothes 0 3rd century. However, as we all know, the Genie was locked inside a lamp for the past 10,000 years, meaning that there is no way he could have known what the 3rd century was like.This means that Aladdin actually takes place in the FUTURE, in at least 10,300 AD. The movie itself is set in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, one where only some Arabic culture has survived. The things called "magic" are actually just some of the technological marvels left behind by the previous civilization. These include flying carpets and genetically engineered parrots which can comprehend human speech instead of just mimicking it How else could the Genie do impressions of ancient, long-dead celebrities like Groucho Marx, Jack Nicholson, etc? Courage the Cowardly Dog is actually a normal dog and he sees the world through a dog's eyes. All the villains in the show are just normal people, but to a little dog they seem scary. They don't actually live in the middle of Nowhere, but since his owners are too old to take him outside for walks, he only knows what's around his immediate property, and everything beyond that is nothing because he's never seen it. Game begins with curtain opening shadows on Blocks bolted to more shadows on skyline Exit stage right; end of set Platforms hanging La from roof, sticking out through slots in backdrop running via hidden machines behind set Super Mario Bros. 3 never happened It was all just a stage show. A play Mario was never once in any real danger You were merely the audience lolzandtrollz: Oh No, My Poor Childhood Memories
Aladdin, Candy, and Children: Toy Story: Andy's Parents Are Divorcing
 You never see the Dad
 They are moving (to a smaller house no less
 The Mom's wedding ring is off in the shot where she picks up the Burz box
 -Andy is introverted and emotionally attached to inanimate, masculine figures
 -They get a puppy (surprisingly common for divorcees)
 None of the babies in "Rugrats" actually exist, but they are all instead
 figments of Angelica's imagination, as result of her parent's
 negligence. Chuckie died with his mother, which explains how much
 of a nervous wreck his father is. Tommy was a stillborn baby, which
 explains why his father, Stu, was always in the basement making
 toys for the son he never had. Finally, the DeVilles had an abortion
 To compensate for not knowing the sex of the baby, Angelica
 invented twins in her head, one boy, one girl
 Willy Wonka knew those children would die in his factory, After Augustus gets
 sucked up the shoot, they all hop on board the boat through the tunnel of doom.
 The boat doesn't have two extra vacant seats thoughh Iit was designed with prior
 knowledge that they would lose two participants before that point. Later they
 drive a creanm spewing car with only four seats. Did they have another car
 waiting in the garage in case the others made it? Of course not. Willy Wonka
 uses children to make candy
 There's a scene in "Aladdin where Genie calls Aladdin's clothes 0
 3rd century. However, as we all know, the Genie was locked inside a
 lamp for the past 10,000 years, meaning that there is no way he could
 have known what the 3rd century was like.This means that Aladdin
 actually takes place in the FUTURE, in at least 10,300 AD. The movie
 itself is set in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, one where only some
 Arabic culture has survived. The things called "magic" are actually just
 some of the technological marvels left behind by the previous
 civilization. These include flying carpets and genetically engineered
 parrots which can comprehend human speech instead of just mimicking
 it How else could the Genie do impressions of ancient, long-dead
 celebrities like Groucho Marx, Jack Nicholson, etc?
 Courage the Cowardly Dog is actually a normal dog
 and he sees the world through a dog's eyes. All the
 villains in the show are just normal people, but to a
 little dog they seem scary. They don't actually live in
 the middle of Nowhere, but since his owners are too
 old to take him outside for walks, he only knows
 what's around his immediate property, and everything
 beyond that is nothing because he's never seen it.
 Game begins with
 curtain opening
 shadows on
 Blocks bolted to
 more shadows
 on skyline
 Exit stage right;
 end of set
 Platforms hanging La
 from roof, sticking
 out through slots in
 backdrop running
 via hidden machines
 behind set
 Super Mario Bros. 3 never happened
 It was all just a stage show. A play
 Mario was never once in any real danger
 You were merely the audience
lolzandtrollz:

Oh No, My Poor Childhood Memories

lolzandtrollz: Oh No, My Poor Childhood Memories

Best Friend, Confused, and Dad: MAMMA, EVER SINCE I SAlV I'M ITALIAN, EVERYONE KEEP4 TEA IN ME AND AGKING IF I'M IN THE MAFIA NEXT TIME TELL THEM THEN THEY WILL FEAK YOU. 2srooky: giancarlovolpe: Based on a true story. this reminds me of a story that’s kind of an ongoing joke in my family.  I’m half German, and my father’s side of the family is full blooded German. My father owns a business that deals with a lot of international calls, and during my early tween years he got a lot of business calls at all hours of the day and night from all over the world.  Now, when i first met my best friends, I had them sleeping over at my house, and we were watching TV. Every few minutes the phone would ring, and our caller ID would project at the top of the television screen.  I was bullied a lot as a kid, so my dad told me to tell people if they asked what my father did, that he was in the German Mafia. So, naturally when my friends asked who was calling, I made the joke it was business cause my dad was in the German Mafia, and the joke stuck.  And it spread, too. Middle school was filled with jokes about my family and the mafia, but they were just jokes. That I was in the mafia, my dad was a mafia boss, etc. etc. Those jokes continued into high school, where, in my junior year I was in a big depressive spell. I wore my hair tied back from my face a lot, and in my history class, these jokes were cracked a little more often as we began our European Studies. One day, my History teacher, the most amazing teacher I had in high school, walked between me and my best friend, as our desks were right next to each other, while we had been making one of these jokes.  He paused, and reached out, tapping my right temple twice while a huge, cheeky grin spread on his face and he just went.  “Good to see you finished your induction.” and walked away. I was confused, my best friend and I were staring at each other for a solid ten minutes before we got back to work.  When I went home that night, I looked up a bunch of stuff about the German Mafia. The German Mafia would often do a tattoo of 3 dots on someone once they had finished their “trials” and were accepted. This was most often done in cases of murder, and other crimes. Where the tattoos were placed meant different things. Hands were the norm, but sometimes a tattoo would be placed on the face.  These tattoos are now mostly outdated, and are usually just prison tattoos done for years/crimes committed in prison, but some branches of Russian, Cuban, and German mafias still use the three dot tattoos.  I was flabbergasted for two reasons. One, that my teacher knew all of this about the German mafia, and, Two, that he pointed out the three freckles on my temple that make a perfect triangle.  For the rest of my Junior and Senior year, the mafia jokes dwindled less and less, because people actually believed I was in the mafia.  I never told them I wasn’t, either.
Best Friend, Confused, and Dad: MAMMA, EVER SINCE
 I SAlV I'M ITALIAN,
 EVERYONE KEEP4
 TEA IN ME AND
 AGKING IF I'M IN THE
 MAFIA

 NEXT TIME
 TELL THEM

 THEN THEY
 WILL FEAK
 YOU.
2srooky:

giancarlovolpe:

Based on a true story.

this reminds me of a story that’s kind of an ongoing joke in my family. 
I’m half German, and my father’s side of the family is full blooded German. My father owns a business that deals with a lot of international calls, and during my early tween years he got a lot of business calls at all hours of the day and night from all over the world. 
Now, when i first met my best friends, I had them sleeping over at my house, and we were watching TV. Every few minutes the phone would ring, and our caller ID would project at the top of the television screen. 
I was bullied a lot as a kid, so my dad told me to tell people if they asked what my father did, that he was in the German Mafia.
So, naturally when my friends asked who was calling, I made the joke it was business cause my dad was in the German Mafia, and the joke stuck. 
And it spread, too. Middle school was filled with jokes about my family and the mafia, but they were just jokes. That I was in the mafia, my dad was a mafia boss, etc. etc.
Those jokes continued into high school, where, in my junior year I was in a big depressive spell. I wore my hair tied back from my face a lot, and in my history class, these jokes were cracked a little more often as we began our European Studies. One day, my History teacher, the most amazing teacher I had in high school, walked between me and my best friend, as our desks were right next to each other, while we had been making one of these jokes. 
He paused, and reached out, tapping my right temple twice while a huge, cheeky grin spread on his face and he just went. 
“Good to see you finished your induction.” and walked away.
I was confused, my best friend and I were staring at each other for a solid ten minutes before we got back to work. 
When I went home that night, I looked up a bunch of stuff about the German Mafia. The German Mafia would often do a tattoo of 3 dots on someone once they had finished their “trials” and were accepted. This was most often done in cases of murder, and other crimes. Where the tattoos were placed meant different things. Hands were the norm, but sometimes a tattoo would be placed on the face. 
These tattoos are now mostly outdated, and are usually just prison tattoos done for years/crimes committed in prison, but some branches of Russian, Cuban, and German mafias still use the three dot tattoos. 
I was flabbergasted for two reasons. One, that my teacher knew all of this about the German mafia, and, Two, that he pointed out the three freckles on my temple that make a perfect triangle. 
For the rest of my Junior and Senior year, the mafia jokes dwindled less and less, because people actually believed I was in the mafia. 
I never told them I wasn’t, either.

2srooky: giancarlovolpe: Based on a true story. this reminds me of a story that’s kind of an ongoing joke in my family.  I’m half German,...

Af, Funny, and Maury: tillerboomin: HOW EVERY WHITE FATHER DENYS THEIR KIDS ON MAURY Still funny af
Af, Funny, and Maury: tillerboomin:

HOW EVERY WHITE FATHER DENYS THEIR KIDS ON MAURY

Still funny af

tillerboomin: HOW EVERY WHITE FATHER DENYS THEIR KIDS ON MAURY Still funny af

Crazy, Pop, and Tumblr: LEARN RUSSIAN TO READ IN 15 MINUTES By PETER STARR NORTHROA AND RAN ESTRADA 、 ★ ESTE ANALE ABRI COMES FROM THIS CRAZY WRITING BUNCH OF ALPHABETS WHICH STOLE THEIR WRITING STYLES FROM THE GREEKS. THAT MAKES IT A KINDA WACKY AND DISJOINTED COUSIN TO OUR LATIN ALPHABET SO RUSSIAN LOOKS ALMOST KINDA LIKE IT COULD BE READ BY AN ENGLISH SPEAKER BUT THEN ALL THESE STRANGE NEW LETTERS POP IN, SO IT'S THIS ALIEN SYSTEM THAT LOOKS LIKE IT COULD BE FAMILIAR, WHICH IN THE END JUST MAKES IT SEEM ALL THE MORE ALIEN. SOME CONSONANTS LOOK THE SAME BUT MEAN TOTALLY DIFFERENT THINGS. AND THEN RUSSIAN ADDS IN LIKE, FIVE EXTRA VOWELS AND 3 CONSONANTS OR SOMETHING CRAZY BECAUSE OF THIS, YOU CAN'T JUST PICK UP A RUSSIAN BOOK AND START TO READ. HOWEVER, ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS LEVEL UP THROUGH THE DIFFERENT LAYERS OF RUSSIAN AND YOU CAN MAKE IT MAD EASY FOR YOURSELF THERE'S NO WEIRD SOUNDS THAT COMBINE LIKE IN ENGLISH, AND ONLY A FEW LETTERS CHANGE SOUNDS FROM TIME TO TIME. ALL THE LETTERS (EXCEPT ONE) ARE THE SAME UPPER CASE AND LOWER CASE SO YOU ONLY NEED TO LEARN EACH LETTER ONCE. ONCE YOU TEACH YOURSELF THE BASIC RULES, YOU'LL FIND THAT T MIGHT EVEN BE EASIER THAN ENGLISH STUFF THAT'S TOTALLH THE SAME SOME RUSSIAN LETTERS ARE EXACTLY THE SAME AS ENGLISH LETTERS AND THAT MAKES A GREAT STARTING POINT FOR YOU TOMKAT F THE LETTER YOU'RE LOOKING AT CAN BE FOUND IN THIS OBSOLETE CELEBRITY COUPLE PORTMANTEAU YOU'RE IN LUCK! THEYRE THE SAME AS USUAL HEADS UP THOUGH! UNLIKE IN ENGLISH, RUSSIAN VOWELS MAKE ONE SOUND CONSISTENTLY. SO THE O MAKES A LONG O SOUND, AS IN 'NO' OR 'GO' AND THE 'A' MAKES THE SOUND YOU HEAR IN 'FATHER OR 'HAHA SO THE WORD ABOVE HAS A RUSSIAN ACCENT AND SOUNDS KINDA LIKE TOME COT THEIR SOUNDS, BUT O AND A CAN GO ROGUE DEPENDING ON F THEYRE STRESSED SYLLABLES OR NOT O CAN BE "AH" LIKE FATHER) AND A CAN BE "EH (LIKE PENCIL) SO TOME COT CAN ALSO BE TAHM-KEHT FOR NOW THOUGH, JUST PRACTICE WITH TOME-COT THAT'LL HELP THE MOST LEVEL 2VOWELS IF YOU SEE SOMETHING THAT LOOKS LIKE AN ALTERED VERSION OF A VOWEL YOU RECOGNIZE, OR A BACKWARDS CONSONANT, IT'S A VOWEL YOU CAN BREAK THEM DOWN INTO TWO SIMPLE GROUPS AND SET 2, WHICH ARE JUST THE SOFT VOWELS PLUS A Y SOFT VOWELS: HARD VWELS FATHER BED YO YOU BLL THAT GUY ON THE END THERE IS THE EXCEPTION TO THE RULE INSTEAD OF MAKING A YEE SOUND, IT SOUNDS LIKE THE I IN BILL I COULD KILL BILL FOR MESSING UP THE SYSTEM. WHAT KIND OF LETTER IS MADE OF TWO LETTERS, ANYWAY? THAT JERK. EVE ALTER HOURE VOWELS THERE ARE SIX MORE VOWEL SOUNDS, AND YOU ONLY NEED TO KNOW ONE MORE LETTER TO BE ABLE TO READ THEM ADDING AFTER A VOWEL IS A LOT LIKE ADDING A Y IN ENGLISH- IT JUST MAKES THE SOUND LONGER. TO PRACTICE, LET'S ADD TO THE CONSONANTS AND VOWELS YOU ALREADY KNOW TATA TAVI TIE TO TO TOM TWEE KEY (BUT STRONGER) lolzandtrollz: Learn To Read Russian
Crazy, Pop, and Tumblr: LEARN
 RUSSIAN
 TO READ
 IN 15 MINUTES
 By PETER STARR
 NORTHROA AND
 RAN ESTRADA
 、
 ★
 ESTE ANALE ABRI COMES FROM THIS CRAZY WRITING
 BUNCH OF ALPHABETS WHICH STOLE THEIR WRITING
 STYLES FROM THE GREEKS. THAT MAKES IT A KINDA WACKY
 AND DISJOINTED COUSIN TO OUR LATIN ALPHABET
 SO RUSSIAN LOOKS ALMOST KINDA LIKE IT
 COULD BE READ BY AN ENGLISH SPEAKER BUT
 THEN ALL THESE STRANGE NEW LETTERS POP
 IN, SO IT'S THIS ALIEN SYSTEM THAT LOOKS LIKE
 IT COULD BE FAMILIAR, WHICH IN THE END
 JUST MAKES IT SEEM ALL THE MORE ALIEN.
 SOME CONSONANTS LOOK THE SAME BUT MEAN
 TOTALLY DIFFERENT THINGS. AND THEN
 RUSSIAN ADDS IN LIKE, FIVE EXTRA VOWELS
 AND 3 CONSONANTS OR SOMETHING CRAZY
 BECAUSE OF THIS, YOU CAN'T JUST PICK UP
 A RUSSIAN BOOK AND START TO READ.
 HOWEVER, ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS LEVEL UP
 THROUGH THE DIFFERENT LAYERS OF RUSSIAN
 AND YOU CAN MAKE IT MAD EASY FOR
 YOURSELF
 THERE'S NO WEIRD SOUNDS THAT COMBINE
 LIKE IN ENGLISH, AND ONLY A FEW LETTERS
 CHANGE SOUNDS FROM TIME TO TIME. ALL THE
 LETTERS (EXCEPT ONE) ARE THE SAME UPPER
 CASE AND LOWER CASE SO YOU ONLY NEED TO
 LEARN EACH LETTER ONCE. ONCE YOU TEACH
 YOURSELF THE BASIC RULES, YOU'LL FIND THAT
 T MIGHT EVEN BE EASIER THAN ENGLISH
 STUFF THAT'S
 TOTALLH THE SAME
 SOME RUSSIAN LETTERS
 ARE EXACTLY THE SAME
 AS ENGLISH LETTERS AND
 THAT MAKES A GREAT
 STARTING POINT FOR YOU
 TOMKAT
 F THE LETTER YOU'RE LOOKING AT CAN BE FOUND IN
 THIS OBSOLETE CELEBRITY COUPLE PORTMANTEAU
 YOU'RE IN LUCK! THEYRE THE SAME AS USUAL
 HEADS UP THOUGH! UNLIKE IN ENGLISH, RUSSIAN
 VOWELS MAKE ONE SOUND CONSISTENTLY. SO THE O
 MAKES A LONG O SOUND, AS IN 'NO' OR 'GO' AND THE 'A'
 MAKES THE SOUND YOU HEAR IN 'FATHER OR 'HAHA
 SO THE WORD ABOVE HAS A RUSSIAN ACCENT AND
 SOUNDS KINDA LIKE TOME COT
 THEIR SOUNDS, BUT O AND A CAN GO ROGUE DEPENDING ON
 F THEYRE STRESSED SYLLABLES OR NOT O CAN BE "AH"
 LIKE FATHER) AND A CAN BE "EH (LIKE PENCIL) SO TOME
 COT CAN ALSO BE TAHM-KEHT FOR NOW THOUGH, JUST
 PRACTICE WITH TOME-COT THAT'LL HELP THE MOST
 LEVEL 2VOWELS
 IF YOU SEE SOMETHING THAT LOOKS LIKE AN ALTERED VERSION OF A
 VOWEL YOU RECOGNIZE, OR A BACKWARDS CONSONANT, IT'S A VOWEL
 YOU CAN BREAK THEM DOWN
 INTO TWO SIMPLE GROUPS
 AND SET 2, WHICH ARE JUST
 THE SOFT VOWELS PLUS A Y
 SOFT VOWELS: HARD VWELS
 FATHER
 BED
 YO
 YOU
 BLL
 THAT GUY ON THE END THERE IS THE EXCEPTION TO THE RULE
 INSTEAD OF MAKING A YEE SOUND, IT SOUNDS LIKE THE I IN BILL
 I COULD KILL BILL FOR MESSING UP THE SYSTEM. WHAT KIND OF
 LETTER IS MADE OF TWO LETTERS, ANYWAY? THAT JERK.
 EVE
 ALTER HOURE
 VOWELS
 THERE ARE SIX MORE VOWEL SOUNDS, AND YOU ONLY NEED
 TO KNOW ONE MORE LETTER TO BE ABLE TO READ THEM
 ADDING AFTER A VOWEL IS A LOT LIKE ADDING A Y
 IN ENGLISH- IT JUST MAKES THE SOUND LONGER. TO
 PRACTICE, LET'S ADD TO THE CONSONANTS AND
 VOWELS YOU ALREADY KNOW
 TATA TAVI
 TIE
 TO TO TOM
 TWEE
 KEY (BUT
 STRONGER)
lolzandtrollz:

Learn To Read Russian

lolzandtrollz: Learn To Read Russian