fae


                    
                    
                

                

                

            

        
    







            

            
            

                

                    
                

                

                    

                        


	

	
    
        

            

                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

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        Not All Heros Wear Capes
        

            
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         yer
        

            
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    fae: brightlotusmoon:
a-holiday-franchise:


perpetualcombustioninstruction:

revereche:

bogleech:

elvenrainbow:

shitsuren-chama:

ocean-child-love:

kaibas-paragraphical-mind:

what-is-a-homestuck:

WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT

YOU COULD BE A FUCKING BADASS DRAGON THAT’S THE POINT

“I AM A CREATURE OF DARKNESS” “oh hey sabrina.”

I guess the point is that you could shapeshift into the body you always thought you’d grow into when you were a kid
taller, shorter, slimmer, more muscular, purple hair, tattoos everywhere, tattoos nowhere, 
every single shoe would fit you every single time you tried it on, every single article of clothing would fit your perfectly, all you have to do is transform slightly, you’d never run out of ‘your size’ again
and you wouldn’t have to work for it at all, and you’d never be limitted by your bone structure or something. You could just transform at will.



I don’t see how this is much of a downside
When you turn into a sixty story tentacle demon and terrorize a city you want to get the credit you deserve

Oh man that would be so sweet. I could be an annoying fuck as an insect or something but you couldn’t kill me because everyone would know

That’s great but have you considered
~cosplay
~Halloween costumes
~acting
~cosplay
~stretching to reach stuff and shrinking to fit through spaces
~cosplay
~cosplay
~COSPLAY


imagine being at work minding your business and then suddenly you look out the window and see like a 50ft tall flamingo and then someone just says “oh, yeah, that’s just pete, he does this sometimes, don’t worry” 



“BRB, gonna be a cat-sized dragon for a few hours. Might come home a foot taller with mood tattoos.”
“Don’t antagonize the fae.”
“I AM the fae, Susan.”

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                fae: brightlotusmoon:
a-holiday-franchise:


perpetualcombustioninstruction:

revereche:

bogleech:

elvenrainbow:

shitsuren-chama:

ocean-child-love:

kaibas-paragraphical-mind:

what-is-a-homestuck:

WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT

YOU COULD BE A FUCKING BADASS DRAGON THAT’S THE POINT

“I AM A CREATURE OF DARKNESS” “oh hey sabrina.”

I guess the point is that you could shapeshift into the body you always thought you’d grow into when you were a kid
taller, shorter, slimmer, more muscular, purple hair, tattoos everywhere, tattoos nowhere, 
every single shoe would fit you every single time you tried it on, every single article of clothing would fit your perfectly, all you have to do is transform slightly, you’d never run out of ‘your size’ again
and you wouldn’t have to work for it at all, and you’d never be limitted by your bone structure or something. You could just transform at will.



I don’t see how this is much of a downside
When you turn into a sixty story tentacle demon and terrorize a city you want to get the credit you deserve

Oh man that would be so sweet. I could be an annoying fuck as an insect or something but you couldn’t kill me because everyone would know

That’s great but have you considered
~cosplay
~Halloween costumes
~acting
~cosplay
~stretching to reach stuff and shrinking to fit through spaces
~cosplay
~cosplay
~COSPLAY


imagine being at work minding your business and then suddenly you look out the window and see like a 50ft tall flamingo and then someone just says “oh, yeah, that’s just pete, he does this sometimes, don’t worry” 



“BRB, gonna be a cat-sized dragon for a few hours. Might come home a foot taller with mood tattoos.”
“Don’t antagonize the fae.”
“I AM the fae, Susan.”

                
            

            
            
brightlotusmoon:
a-holiday-franchise:


perpetualcombustioninstruction:

revereche:

bogleech:

elvenrainbow:

shitsuren-chama:

ocean-ch...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    fae: feniczoroark:

aqueerkettleofish:

brightlotusmoon:

a-holiday-franchise:


perpetualcombustioninstruction:

revereche:

bogleech:

elvenrainbow:

shitsuren-chama:

ocean-child-love:

kaibas-paragraphical-mind:

what-is-a-homestuck:

WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT

YOU COULD BE A FUCKING BADASS DRAGON THAT’S THE POINT

“I AM A CREATURE OF DARKNESS” “oh hey sabrina.”

I guess the point is that you could shapeshift into the body you always thought you’d grow into when you were a kid
taller, shorter, slimmer, more muscular, purple hair, tattoos everywhere, tattoos nowhere, 
every single shoe would fit you every single time you tried it on, every single article of clothing would fit your perfectly, all you have to do is transform slightly, you’d never run out of ‘your size’ again
and you wouldn’t have to work for it at all, and you’d never be limitted by your bone structure or something. You could just transform at will.



I don’t see how this is much of a downside
When you turn into a sixty story tentacle demon and terrorize a city you want to get the credit you deserve

Oh man that would be so sweet. I could be an annoying fuck as an insect or something but you couldn’t kill me because everyone would know

That’s great but have you considered
~cosplay
~Halloween costumes
~acting
~cosplay
~stretching to reach stuff and shrinking to fit through spaces
~cosplay
~cosplay
~COSPLAY


imagine being at work minding your business and then suddenly you look out the window and see like a 50ft tall flamingo and then someone just says “oh, yeah, that’s just pete, he does this sometimes, don’t worry” 



“BRB, gonna be a cat-sized dragon for a few hours. Might come home a foot taller with mood tattoos.”
“Don’t antagonize the fae.”
“I AM the fae, Susan.”

Also, consider— people will know it’s you, but it doesn’t say they’ll know what you are. “So is Pete a 50 foot flamingo who changes into a man, or the other way around?”“We.. we don’t know.  Barbara asked him once, but he just grinned.  She said they weren’t the teeth of a human OR flamingo and she didn’t want to talk about it.” 



@randomnightlord 


As a trans girl this button has no negative side effects for me
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                fae: feniczoroark:

aqueerkettleofish:

brightlotusmoon:

a-holiday-franchise:


perpetualcombustioninstruction:

revereche:

bogleech:

elvenrainbow:

shitsuren-chama:

ocean-child-love:

kaibas-paragraphical-mind:

what-is-a-homestuck:

WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT

YOU COULD BE A FUCKING BADASS DRAGON THAT’S THE POINT

“I AM A CREATURE OF DARKNESS” “oh hey sabrina.”

I guess the point is that you could shapeshift into the body you always thought you’d grow into when you were a kid
taller, shorter, slimmer, more muscular, purple hair, tattoos everywhere, tattoos nowhere, 
every single shoe would fit you every single time you tried it on, every single article of clothing would fit your perfectly, all you have to do is transform slightly, you’d never run out of ‘your size’ again
and you wouldn’t have to work for it at all, and you’d never be limitted by your bone structure or something. You could just transform at will.



I don’t see how this is much of a downside
When you turn into a sixty story tentacle demon and terrorize a city you want to get the credit you deserve

Oh man that would be so sweet. I could be an annoying fuck as an insect or something but you couldn’t kill me because everyone would know

That’s great but have you considered
~cosplay
~Halloween costumes
~acting
~cosplay
~stretching to reach stuff and shrinking to fit through spaces
~cosplay
~cosplay
~COSPLAY


imagine being at work minding your business and then suddenly you look out the window and see like a 50ft tall flamingo and then someone just says “oh, yeah, that’s just pete, he does this sometimes, don’t worry” 



“BRB, gonna be a cat-sized dragon for a few hours. Might come home a foot taller with mood tattoos.”
“Don’t antagonize the fae.”
“I AM the fae, Susan.”

Also, consider— people will know it’s you, but it doesn’t say they’ll know what you are. “So is Pete a 50 foot flamingo who changes into a man, or the other way around?”“We.. we don’t know.  Barbara asked him once, but he just grinned.  She said they weren’t the teeth of a human OR flamingo and she didn’t want to talk about it.” 



@randomnightlord 


As a trans girl this button has no negative side effects for me
                
            

            
            
feniczoroark:

aqueerkettleofish:

brightlotusmoon:

a-holiday-franchise:


perpetualcombustioninstruction:

revereche:

bogleech:

elven...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    fae: WillYouPressTheButton?.com
 I will not!
 You can shapeshift into
 any form you choose
 but
 People will always know
 it's you
endyranartz:

brightlotusmoon:
a-holiday-franchise:


perpetualcombustioninstruction:

revereche:

bogleech:

elvenrainbow:

shitsuren-chama:

ocean-child-love:

kaibas-paragraphical-mind:

what-is-a-homestuck:

WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT

YOU COULD BE A FUCKING BADASS DRAGON THAT’S THE POINT

“I AM A CREATURE OF DARKNESS” “oh hey sabrina.”

I guess the point is that you could shapeshift into the body you always thought you’d grow into when you were a kid
taller, shorter, slimmer, more muscular, purple hair, tattoos everywhere, tattoos nowhere, 
every single shoe would fit you every single time you tried it on, every single article of clothing would fit your perfectly, all you have to do is transform slightly, you’d never run out of ‘your size’ again
and you wouldn’t have to work for it at all, and you’d never be limitted by your bone structure or something. You could just transform at will.



I don’t see how this is much of a downside
When you turn into a sixty story tentacle demon and terrorize a city you want to get the credit you deserve

Oh man that would be so sweet. I could be an annoying fuck as an insect or something but you couldn’t kill me because everyone would know

That’s great but have you considered
~cosplay
~Halloween costumes
~acting
~cosplay
~stretching to reach stuff and shrinking to fit through spaces
~cosplay
~cosplay
~COSPLAY


imagine being at work minding your business and then suddenly you look out the window and see like a 50ft tall flamingo and then someone just says “oh, yeah, that’s just pete, he does this sometimes, don’t worry” 



“BRB, gonna be a cat-sized dragon for a few hours. Might come home a foot taller with mood tattoos.”
“Don’t antagonize the fae.”
“I AM the fae, Susan.”

This would be fun when around friends. 
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                fae: WillYouPressTheButton?.com
 I will not!
 You can shapeshift into
 any form you choose
 but
 People will always know
 it's you
endyranartz:

brightlotusmoon:
a-holiday-franchise:


perpetualcombustioninstruction:

revereche:

bogleech:

elvenrainbow:

shitsuren-chama:

ocean-child-love:

kaibas-paragraphical-mind:

what-is-a-homestuck:

WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT

YOU COULD BE A FUCKING BADASS DRAGON THAT’S THE POINT

“I AM A CREATURE OF DARKNESS” “oh hey sabrina.”

I guess the point is that you could shapeshift into the body you always thought you’d grow into when you were a kid
taller, shorter, slimmer, more muscular, purple hair, tattoos everywhere, tattoos nowhere, 
every single shoe would fit you every single time you tried it on, every single article of clothing would fit your perfectly, all you have to do is transform slightly, you’d never run out of ‘your size’ again
and you wouldn’t have to work for it at all, and you’d never be limitted by your bone structure or something. You could just transform at will.



I don’t see how this is much of a downside
When you turn into a sixty story tentacle demon and terrorize a city you want to get the credit you deserve

Oh man that would be so sweet. I could be an annoying fuck as an insect or something but you couldn’t kill me because everyone would know

That’s great but have you considered
~cosplay
~Halloween costumes
~acting
~cosplay
~stretching to reach stuff and shrinking to fit through spaces
~cosplay
~cosplay
~COSPLAY


imagine being at work minding your business and then suddenly you look out the window and see like a 50ft tall flamingo and then someone just says “oh, yeah, that’s just pete, he does this sometimes, don’t worry” 



“BRB, gonna be a cat-sized dragon for a few hours. Might come home a foot taller with mood tattoos.”
“Don’t antagonize the fae.”
“I AM the fae, Susan.”

This would be fun when around friends. 
                
            

            
            
endyranartz:

brightlotusmoon:
a-holiday-franchise:


perpetualcombustioninstruction:

revereche:

bogleech:

elvenrainbow:

shitsuren-ch...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    fae: Slate.com
 5 hrs .
 Slate
 Dear Prudie: Do I have to give them candy?
 aT
 T-T
 Help! Kids From Poorer Neighborhoods Keep Trick-
 or-Treating in Mine.
 Slate.com

 Dear Prudence,
 I live in one of the wealthiest neighborhoods
 in the country, but on one of the more
 "modest" streets-mostly doctors and
 lawyers and family business owners. (A few
 blocks away are billionaires, families with
 famous last names, media moguls, etc.) I
 have noticed that on Halloween, what seems
 like 75 percent of the trick-or-treaters are
 clearly not from this neighborhood. Kids
 arrive in overflowing cars from less fortunate
 areas. I feel this is inappropriate. Halloween
 isn't a social service or a charity in which l
 have to buy candy for less fortunate children
 Obviously this makes me feel like a terrible
 person, because what's the big deal about
 making less fortunate kids happy on a
 holiday? But it just bugs me, because we
 already pay more than enough taxes toward
 actual social services. Should Halloween be a
 neighborhood activity, or is it legitimately a
 free-for-all in which people hunt down the
 best candy grounds for their kids?
 91.6K 705
 Slate
 Slate.com's Post
 See More
memesandmagik:
ryulongd:

rune-midgarts:

goodtimegang:

brakehagev2:

guys this is actually real like a real person wrote this

“more than enough” oh you fucking saints, absolutely pouring wealth onto the unfortunates


lol this is amazing 

Dear Prudie,
I think I just witnessed a murder

Literally, the entire point of the tradition of trick-or-treating involved feeding your hungry neighbors in exchange for blessings, prayers for your dead, and good luck. To deny someone of a “treat” was bad luck and thought to anger the fae. 
So yeah I hope her house gets egged and her wealth mysteriously dissipates without warning. 

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                fae: Slate.com
 5 hrs .
 Slate
 Dear Prudie: Do I have to give them candy?
 aT
 T-T
 Help! Kids From Poorer Neighborhoods Keep Trick-
 or-Treating in Mine.
 Slate.com

 Dear Prudence,
 I live in one of the wealthiest neighborhoods
 in the country, but on one of the more
 "modest" streets-mostly doctors and
 lawyers and family business owners. (A few
 blocks away are billionaires, families with
 famous last names, media moguls, etc.) I
 have noticed that on Halloween, what seems
 like 75 percent of the trick-or-treaters are
 clearly not from this neighborhood. Kids
 arrive in overflowing cars from less fortunate
 areas. I feel this is inappropriate. Halloween
 isn't a social service or a charity in which l
 have to buy candy for less fortunate children
 Obviously this makes me feel like a terrible
 person, because what's the big deal about
 making less fortunate kids happy on a
 holiday? But it just bugs me, because we
 already pay more than enough taxes toward
 actual social services. Should Halloween be a
 neighborhood activity, or is it legitimately a
 free-for-all in which people hunt down the
 best candy grounds for their kids?
 91.6K 705
 Slate
 Slate.com's Post
 See More
memesandmagik:
ryulongd:

rune-midgarts:

goodtimegang:

brakehagev2:

guys this is actually real like a real person wrote this

“more than enough” oh you fucking saints, absolutely pouring wealth onto the unfortunates


lol this is amazing 

Dear Prudie,
I think I just witnessed a murder

Literally, the entire point of the tradition of trick-or-treating involved feeding your hungry neighbors in exchange for blessings, prayers for your dead, and good luck. To deny someone of a “treat” was bad luck and thought to anger the fae. 
So yeah I hope her house gets egged and her wealth mysteriously dissipates without warning. 

                
            

            
            
memesandmagik:
ryulongd:

rune-midgarts:

goodtimegang:

brakehagev2:

guys this is actually real like a real person wrote this

“more th...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    fae: A faerie introduces himself. Then, holding out a hand, asks, "And
 your name, please?"
 And, like a fool, you give it to him.
 I got asked for clarification on this (but can't reblog that particular
 post cuz on mobile), which l'm more than happy to provide.
 In this post, a faerie is asking for 'your' name. The way he is wording
 it, however, and the accompanying beckoning motion, makes it
 seem as though he is asking for you to physically hand your name
 over. Which, because of how some faeries operate, he is.
 In this instance, saying your name aloud to the fae would be literally
 giving your name over to him, the exact consequences of which are
 left up to the imagination-usually, a fae even knowing your name
 gives it some measure of power over you, but giving something your
 name would likely let it completely take over your life.
 In this instance, the wording you want to use is something like I will
 not
 give you my name, but I will tell you that it's
 you can just lie to him.
 Alternately
 ayellowbirds
 Might i suggest the less direct yet still n
 call me..."? It dodges the request while still giving an answer of a
 name, which does not even have to be yours, but any
 like telling the fae they can use to refer to you. I would
 g "you may
 name you feel
 Ligma." I respond.
 Ligma...2" Inqures the faerie.
 They gasp as they finish saying it, realizing all too late that the darlk
 magics have already taken hold of them.
 I smirk into the nearby camera.
 Li-"
Outwitting A Faerie
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                fae: A faerie introduces himself. Then, holding out a hand, asks, "And
 your name, please?"
 And, like a fool, you give it to him.
 I got asked for clarification on this (but can't reblog that particular
 post cuz on mobile), which l'm more than happy to provide.
 In this post, a faerie is asking for 'your' name. The way he is wording
 it, however, and the accompanying beckoning motion, makes it
 seem as though he is asking for you to physically hand your name
 over. Which, because of how some faeries operate, he is.
 In this instance, saying your name aloud to the fae would be literally
 giving your name over to him, the exact consequences of which are
 left up to the imagination-usually, a fae even knowing your name
 gives it some measure of power over you, but giving something your
 name would likely let it completely take over your life.
 In this instance, the wording you want to use is something like I will
 not
 give you my name, but I will tell you that it's
 you can just lie to him.
 Alternately
 ayellowbirds
 Might i suggest the less direct yet still n
 call me..."? It dodges the request while still giving an answer of a
 name, which does not even have to be yours, but any
 like telling the fae they can use to refer to you. I would
 g "you may
 name you feel
 Ligma." I respond.
 Ligma...2" Inqures the faerie.
 They gasp as they finish saying it, realizing all too late that the darlk
 magics have already taken hold of them.
 I smirk into the nearby camera.
 Li-"
Outwitting A Faerie
                
            

            
            
Outwitting A Faerie

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    fae: m4ge
 iwalk into starbucks and order a pumpkin spice
 latte with 13 shots of espresso. i tell the barista that
 i intend to transcend humanity and become a god.
 i ask for no whip creanm
 you say this jokingly but i had a customer actually
 order a pumpkin spice latte with 9 shots of espresso
 (also no whip) and when i asked her to verify that she
 did indeed want 9 shots of espresso she looked me
 dead in the eyes and said "i have 5 kids"
 Ionce had a woman come in and ordered an
 Americano with 19 shots of espresso. The drink
 took ages. It held up the line. I asked her why, and
 she shrugged and said "I just don't care". We still talk
 about that woman. We never saw her again.
 anais-ninja-blog
 new cryptid: exhausted woman at starbucks
 Actual conversation I had at register
 Hi, welcome to [Starbucks! What can I
 get you, today?"
 How much is it to fill a Venti with Espresso?"
 1-I'm sorry?"
 A venti cup. How much to fill it with Espresso?"
 Oh. uh. Well, it'd be l suppose.. only have a button
 for a Quad. I don't have special pricing for twenty
 ounces of espresso in a single... drink.
 Price is the furthest thing from my mind right now
 How many 'add shots' is that?"
 deep breath of fear* "t'd be a quad with clears
 throat* "uh, sixteen additional shots of espresso.
 But, ma'am, I should tell you that the shots will start
 to get really bitter if they have to sit and wait for us
 to pull twenty of them-
 Taste means nothing to me."
 At this point I am truly fearing for my very existence in
 the presence of what must clearly be an eldritch being.
 Oh. Well, okay." I put on my absolute best customer
 service smile to hide my terror and accept that I must
 face this dragon, fae, or demon with dignity. "We carn
 certainly get that for you! The price will be
 She begins to pay, I shit thee not, with golden dollar
 coins. We are a block from Wall Street, and this eldritch
 demi-being is paying for an unholy elixer with golden
 coins. My life will end soon, I am sure of it.
 "Do you still have the 'Add Energy' packets?"
 My heart began to race at this request. Yes ma am."
 How many can I add?
 Futile though it is, at least I know the rote response to
 this. "For health reasons, we won't add more than one
 per drink and we cannot sell the packets individually
 One then.
 alter the order and tell her the new price. She pays,
 dumps the change and five golden dollars into the
 tip box. I write the order on the venti cup and pass it
 silently to the girl working the hot beverage station.
 Normally we called and pass, but this was not
 something to be spoken aloud.
 My fellow takes the cup, not thinking anything of the
 minor break with protocol, until she sees the order.
 She stares at me. "No."
 The woman, which I call her for no other greater
 insight into her terrifying being is within my grasp,
 simply stands on the other side and says, calmly
 but with a commanding tone I expect of Admirals
 in bad movies, "Yes
 My fellow barista pales before her task. But we are
 dutiful, we are true to our task, great though it may be.
 She sets about clearing the two brand new Matrena's
 of all distraction, and sets two tall cups in the ready
 position. The energy packet is emptied into the venti
 cup, and the shots begin pouring
 The barista was damn near shaking. This woman's
 gaze felt like the fires of the sun. Finally, the shots are
 pulled, the cup is filled, and the hand off takes place.
 ta was damn near shaking. This woman's
 gaze felt like the fires of the sun. Finally, the shots are
 pulled, the cup is filled, and the hand off takes place.
 Our visiting Incomprehensible takes it to our milk bar
 and adds a dollop of cream. Satisfied, she proceeds to
 down what must have been half the damn cup.
 Then she smiled at us, like a benediction and I was
 honestly filled with joy. And horror. She left, and we
 knew nothing more of her after that.
 When I talk with other former employees, we quickly
 begin talking about "The Company" as if we'd never
 I, perhaps knowing that part of our soul still powers
 that awesome and terrible corporate machine. And
 when I share this stroy, other Baristas at first act
 shocked but quickly settle and comes the chorus,
 "Yeah, I had one like that."
 Okay, Starbucks lore is my new favorite genre
 of literature. Please collect all these and
 more into a book.
 ..I thought Venti Espresso Cryptid was a fever dream
 my manager had. Good lord.
When an elder one visits Starbucks.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                fae: m4ge
 iwalk into starbucks and order a pumpkin spice
 latte with 13 shots of espresso. i tell the barista that
 i intend to transcend humanity and become a god.
 i ask for no whip creanm
 you say this jokingly but i had a customer actually
 order a pumpkin spice latte with 9 shots of espresso
 (also no whip) and when i asked her to verify that she
 did indeed want 9 shots of espresso she looked me
 dead in the eyes and said "i have 5 kids"
 Ionce had a woman come in and ordered an
 Americano with 19 shots of espresso. The drink
 took ages. It held up the line. I asked her why, and
 she shrugged and said "I just don't care". We still talk
 about that woman. We never saw her again.
 anais-ninja-blog
 new cryptid: exhausted woman at starbucks
 Actual conversation I had at register
 Hi, welcome to [Starbucks! What can I
 get you, today?"
 How much is it to fill a Venti with Espresso?"
 1-I'm sorry?"
 A venti cup. How much to fill it with Espresso?"
 Oh. uh. Well, it'd be l suppose.. only have a button
 for a Quad. I don't have special pricing for twenty
 ounces of espresso in a single... drink.
 Price is the furthest thing from my mind right now
 How many 'add shots' is that?"
 deep breath of fear* "t'd be a quad with clears
 throat* "uh, sixteen additional shots of espresso.
 But, ma'am, I should tell you that the shots will start
 to get really bitter if they have to sit and wait for us
 to pull twenty of them-
 Taste means nothing to me."
 At this point I am truly fearing for my very existence in
 the presence of what must clearly be an eldritch being.
 Oh. Well, okay." I put on my absolute best customer
 service smile to hide my terror and accept that I must
 face this dragon, fae, or demon with dignity. "We carn
 certainly get that for you! The price will be
 She begins to pay, I shit thee not, with golden dollar
 coins. We are a block from Wall Street, and this eldritch
 demi-being is paying for an unholy elixer with golden
 coins. My life will end soon, I am sure of it.
 "Do you still have the 'Add Energy' packets?"
 My heart began to race at this request. Yes ma am."
 How many can I add?
 Futile though it is, at least I know the rote response to
 this. "For health reasons, we won't add more than one
 per drink and we cannot sell the packets individually
 One then.
 alter the order and tell her the new price. She pays,
 dumps the change and five golden dollars into the
 tip box. I write the order on the venti cup and pass it
 silently to the girl working the hot beverage station.
 Normally we called and pass, but this was not
 something to be spoken aloud.
 My fellow takes the cup, not thinking anything of the
 minor break with protocol, until she sees the order.
 She stares at me. "No."
 The woman, which I call her for no other greater
 insight into her terrifying being is within my grasp,
 simply stands on the other side and says, calmly
 but with a commanding tone I expect of Admirals
 in bad movies, "Yes
 My fellow barista pales before her task. But we are
 dutiful, we are true to our task, great though it may be.
 She sets about clearing the two brand new Matrena's
 of all distraction, and sets two tall cups in the ready
 position. The energy packet is emptied into the venti
 cup, and the shots begin pouring
 The barista was damn near shaking. This woman's
 gaze felt like the fires of the sun. Finally, the shots are
 pulled, the cup is filled, and the hand off takes place.
 ta was damn near shaking. This woman's
 gaze felt like the fires of the sun. Finally, the shots are
 pulled, the cup is filled, and the hand off takes place.
 Our visiting Incomprehensible takes it to our milk bar
 and adds a dollop of cream. Satisfied, she proceeds to
 down what must have been half the damn cup.
 Then she smiled at us, like a benediction and I was
 honestly filled with joy. And horror. She left, and we
 knew nothing more of her after that.
 When I talk with other former employees, we quickly
 begin talking about "The Company" as if we'd never
 I, perhaps knowing that part of our soul still powers
 that awesome and terrible corporate machine. And
 when I share this stroy, other Baristas at first act
 shocked but quickly settle and comes the chorus,
 "Yeah, I had one like that."
 Okay, Starbucks lore is my new favorite genre
 of literature. Please collect all these and
 more into a book.
 ..I thought Venti Espresso Cryptid was a fever dream
 my manager had. Good lord.
When an elder one visits Starbucks.
                
            

            
            
When an elder one visits Starbucks.

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    fae: therestlesswitch:
glazecake:
insecthaus_adi on ig
A handful of fae.

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                fae: therestlesswitch:
glazecake:
insecthaus_adi on ig
A handful of fae.

                
                

                
            

            
            
therestlesswitch:
glazecake:
insecthaus_adi on ig
A handful of fae.


            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    fae: m4ge
 walk into starbucks and order a pumpkin spice latte with 13 shots of espresso. i
 tell the barista that i intend to transcend humanity and become a god. i ask for
 no whip cream
 avantgaye
 you say this jokingly but i had a customer actually order a pumpkin spice latte
 with 9 shots of espresso (also no whip) and when i asked her to verify that she
 did indeed want 9 shots of espresso she looked me dead in the eyes and saidi
 have 5 kids
 witchcraft-with-space-bean
 I once had a woman come in and ordered an Americano with 19 shots of
 espresso. The drink took ages. It held up the line. I asked her why, and she
 shrugged and said "I just don't care". We still talk about that woman. We never
 saw her again.
 anais-ninja-blog
 new cryptid: exhausted woman at starbucks
 katjohnadams
 Actual conversation Ihad at register:
 Hi, welcome to [StarbucksI What can I get you, today?
 How much is it to fill a Venti with Espresso?
 -I'm sorry?
 A venti cup. How much to fill it with Espresso?
 Oh. uh. Well, it'd be I supposeI only have a button for a Quad. I don't have
 special pricing for twenty ounces of espresso in a single... drink.
 Price is the furthest thing from my mind right now. How many 'add shots' is
 that?"
 deep breath of fear* "td be a quad with, "clears throat "uh, sixteen additional
 shots of espresso. But, ma'am, I should tell you that the shots will start to get
 really bitter if they have to sit and wait for us to pull twenty of them-
 Taste means nothing to me.
 At this point I am truly fearing for my very existence in the presence of what
 must clearly be an eldritch being
 Oh. Well, okay." put on my absolute best customer service smile to hide my
 terror and accept that I must face this dragon, fae, or demon with dignity. "We
 can certainly get that for you! The price will be
 She begins to pay, I shit thee not, with golden dollar coins. We are a block from
 Wall Street, and this eldritch demi-being is paying for an unholy elixer with
 golden coins. My life will end soon, I am sure of it
 Do you still have the Add Energy' packets?"
 My heart began to race at this request. "Yes ma am.
 How many can I add?"
 Futile though it is, at least I know the rote response to this. "For health reasons,
 we won't add more than one per drink and we cannot sell the packets
 individualy
 One then."
 I alter the order and tell her the new price. She pays, dumps the change and five
 golden dollars into the tip box. I write the order on the venti cup and pass it
 silently to the girl working the hot beverage station. Normally we called and
 pass, but this was..not something to be spoken aloud
 My fellow takes the cup, not thinking anything of the minor break with protocol,
 until she sees the order. She stares at me. "No."
 The woman, which I call her for no other greater insight into her territying being
 is within my grasp, simply stands on the other side and says, calmly but with a
 commanding tone lexpect of Admirals in bad movies, "Yes
 My fellow barista pales before her task. But we are dutiful, we are true to our
 task, great though it may be. She sets about clearing the two brand nevw
 Matrena's of all distraction, and sets two tall cups in the ready position. The
 energy packet is emptied into the venti cup, and the shots begin pouring
 The barista was damn near shaking. This woman's gaze felt like the tires of the
 sun. Finally, the shots are pulled, the cup is filled, and the hand off takes place
 Our visiting Incomprehensible takes it to our milk bar and adds a dollop of
 cream. Satisfied, she proceeds to down what must have been half the damn
 cup
 Then she smiled at us, like a benediction and I was honestly filled with joy. And
 horror. She left, and we knew nothing more of her after that.
 When I talk with other former employees, we quickly begin talking about The
 Company" as if we'd never I, perhaps knowing that part of our soul still powers
 that awesome and terrible corporate machine. And when I share this stroy, other
 Baristas at first act shocked but quickly settle and comes the chorus,
 "Yeah, I had one like that."
 smartassjen
 Okay, Starbucks lore is my new favorite genre of literature. Please collect all
 these and more into a book
A modern day coffee shop cryptid
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                fae: m4ge
 walk into starbucks and order a pumpkin spice latte with 13 shots of espresso. i
 tell the barista that i intend to transcend humanity and become a god. i ask for
 no whip cream
 avantgaye
 you say this jokingly but i had a customer actually order a pumpkin spice latte
 with 9 shots of espresso (also no whip) and when i asked her to verify that she
 did indeed want 9 shots of espresso she looked me dead in the eyes and saidi
 have 5 kids
 witchcraft-with-space-bean
 I once had a woman come in and ordered an Americano with 19 shots of
 espresso. The drink took ages. It held up the line. I asked her why, and she
 shrugged and said "I just don't care". We still talk about that woman. We never
 saw her again.
 anais-ninja-blog
 new cryptid: exhausted woman at starbucks
 katjohnadams
 Actual conversation Ihad at register:
 Hi, welcome to [StarbucksI What can I get you, today?
 How much is it to fill a Venti with Espresso?
 -I'm sorry?
 A venti cup. How much to fill it with Espresso?
 Oh. uh. Well, it'd be I supposeI only have a button for a Quad. I don't have
 special pricing for twenty ounces of espresso in a single... drink.
 Price is the furthest thing from my mind right now. How many 'add shots' is
 that?"
 deep breath of fear* "td be a quad with, "clears throat "uh, sixteen additional
 shots of espresso. But, ma'am, I should tell you that the shots will start to get
 really bitter if they have to sit and wait for us to pull twenty of them-
 Taste means nothing to me.
 At this point I am truly fearing for my very existence in the presence of what
 must clearly be an eldritch being
 Oh. Well, okay." put on my absolute best customer service smile to hide my
 terror and accept that I must face this dragon, fae, or demon with dignity. "We
 can certainly get that for you! The price will be
 She begins to pay, I shit thee not, with golden dollar coins. We are a block from
 Wall Street, and this eldritch demi-being is paying for an unholy elixer with
 golden coins. My life will end soon, I am sure of it
 Do you still have the Add Energy' packets?"
 My heart began to race at this request. "Yes ma am.
 How many can I add?"
 Futile though it is, at least I know the rote response to this. "For health reasons,
 we won't add more than one per drink and we cannot sell the packets
 individualy
 One then."
 I alter the order and tell her the new price. She pays, dumps the change and five
 golden dollars into the tip box. I write the order on the venti cup and pass it
 silently to the girl working the hot beverage station. Normally we called and
 pass, but this was..not something to be spoken aloud
 My fellow takes the cup, not thinking anything of the minor break with protocol,
 until she sees the order. She stares at me. "No."
 The woman, which I call her for no other greater insight into her territying being
 is within my grasp, simply stands on the other side and says, calmly but with a
 commanding tone lexpect of Admirals in bad movies, "Yes
 My fellow barista pales before her task. But we are dutiful, we are true to our
 task, great though it may be. She sets about clearing the two brand nevw
 Matrena's of all distraction, and sets two tall cups in the ready position. The
 energy packet is emptied into the venti cup, and the shots begin pouring
 The barista was damn near shaking. This woman's gaze felt like the tires of the
 sun. Finally, the shots are pulled, the cup is filled, and the hand off takes place
 Our visiting Incomprehensible takes it to our milk bar and adds a dollop of
 cream. Satisfied, she proceeds to down what must have been half the damn
 cup
 Then she smiled at us, like a benediction and I was honestly filled with joy. And
 horror. She left, and we knew nothing more of her after that.
 When I talk with other former employees, we quickly begin talking about The
 Company" as if we'd never I, perhaps knowing that part of our soul still powers
 that awesome and terrible corporate machine. And when I share this stroy, other
 Baristas at first act shocked but quickly settle and comes the chorus,
 "Yeah, I had one like that."
 smartassjen
 Okay, Starbucks lore is my new favorite genre of literature. Please collect all
 these and more into a book
A modern day coffee shop cryptid
                
            

            
            
A modern day coffee shop cryptid

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    fae: 61below
 tumblr
 Follow
 lovelylilpup
 prokopetz
 I've seen a lot of videos going around of urban-dwelling critters coming to
 humans for help with various problems, ranging from boxes stuck on their heads
 to young trapped down a storm drain, and it's gotten me to thinking
 On the one hand, it's kind of fascinating that they know to do that.
 On the other hand, setting any questions of how this sort of behaviour must have
 arisen aside for the nonce, does it ever strike you how weird it is that we've got
 a whole collection of prey species whose basic problem-solving script ends with
 the step "if all else fails, go bother one of the local apex predators and maybe
 they'll fix the problem for no reason"?
 roachpatrol
 well, come to think of it, we're at the top of the food chain but we almost
 exclusively hunt and kill prey out in the country
 raccoons and possums and foxes and crows all succeed in an urban
 environment because they're opportunistic and observant. and almost none of
 them would have observed us pounce on one of their species and then start
 eating it, you know? a lot of them would have observed that we scream and
 chase them out of wherever we don't want them to be, but other animals are
 territorial too. but there's a number of situations where humans feed whoever's
 bold enough to take them up on the offer, and we do tend to pull garbage off of
 other animals as soon as they slow down enough for us to catch. 'a human got
 me but nothing bad happened' is a much more frequent thing than 'a human got
 me and tried to eat me
 anyway like, we're masters of our environment, we make weird shit happen all
 the time, we have lots of great food and sometimes we share, and we almost
 never eat someone. it makes sense for urban animals, over the last century or
 so, to just keep an eye out for opportunities to use us, and to pass the habit on
 to their kids.
 tsfennec
 It really is a weird, funny thing. Like yeah, technically they're predators, and they
 get pretty screamy, especially if you try to take any of their stuff... but given the
 chance it seems like they'd rather help us out and sometimes they'll just
 randomly give you food, so???
 I mean, I guess in fairytales and myths we've got our fair share of stories about
 dangerous people/creatures who might well kill you or otherwise ruin your life
 but to whom people nonetheless turn for help in desperate circumstances. So
 it's not like the perspective is exactly a foreign thing to our own mindset, really
 It's just that, y'know, we can't actually go make a deal with the faeries when
 there's something we can't figure out
 Which brings me to an interesting thought about the ubiquitous rule about never
 eating the faery food lest you find yourself forever unsatisfied with anything in
 the human world- and the potential parallels to the dangers of feeding wildlife
 human food lest they become addicted and too tame and dependent to be safe
 for either themselves or us. Hmm.)
 sapphicaquarius
 Okay, but that last bit with the Fae... makes almost perfect sense
 Of the stories I've read, the food of the Fae, its origins and effects, are often
 strange and/or obscure- Just like our food to most animals.
 The Fae are strange beings that seem to know weird things that give them
 power or an edge over us.- Just like us to animals.
 The Fae work and live by strange rules also ofen nonsensical or obscure to us
 Just like us to animals.
 The Fae can easily obtain vast amounts of things we consider
 rare/precious/desireable, and have no problem with dishing it out wantonly for no
 other reason than amusement.- Just like us to animals.
 The Fae sometimes are amused by having us around, but only on their terms
 and IF it amuses/intrigues them.- Just like us to animals.
 GUYS, I SENSE A PATTERN....
 -they have arcane social conventions and the punishment for not paying the
 correct respects right is banishment, if you're lucky, and death if you're not
 -they have wild and unexpected parties where you'd least expect to find them,
 but if you're bold enough to entertain them they'll feed you and caress you and
 play with you all night
 time runs strangely in their realm. their homes are summeriands: warm and
 bright, no matter the season. there is always fruit on their tables. but not
 everyone who comes in from the cold is let back out again.
 -their games are cruel and complex and unfair, but if you can beat them by their
 own rules you will access riches beyond imagining.
 sometimes they just fucking fuck with you, the fuckheads
 -they will absolutely steal your children away. when your children return-if they
 ever do-they will come back strange. they will know things they shouldn't. they
 won't know things that they should. your strange children might survive, might
 even prosper, might take wives and husbands and have children of their own
 but they will always be marked by their time away from your world.
 the price for pissing them off is always death. sometimes just you. sometimes
 your whole community
 if you are very good, and very smart, and very brave, they will grant your wish.
 oceaxereturns
 My eyes just got wider and wider the further down I read.
 Source:prokopetz #story feels #fae
 71,904 notes
Humans are the urban fae
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                fae: 61below
 tumblr
 Follow
 lovelylilpup
 prokopetz
 I've seen a lot of videos going around of urban-dwelling critters coming to
 humans for help with various problems, ranging from boxes stuck on their heads
 to young trapped down a storm drain, and it's gotten me to thinking
 On the one hand, it's kind of fascinating that they know to do that.
 On the other hand, setting any questions of how this sort of behaviour must have
 arisen aside for the nonce, does it ever strike you how weird it is that we've got
 a whole collection of prey species whose basic problem-solving script ends with
 the step "if all else fails, go bother one of the local apex predators and maybe
 they'll fix the problem for no reason"?
 roachpatrol
 well, come to think of it, we're at the top of the food chain but we almost
 exclusively hunt and kill prey out in the country
 raccoons and possums and foxes and crows all succeed in an urban
 environment because they're opportunistic and observant. and almost none of
 them would have observed us pounce on one of their species and then start
 eating it, you know? a lot of them would have observed that we scream and
 chase them out of wherever we don't want them to be, but other animals are
 territorial too. but there's a number of situations where humans feed whoever's
 bold enough to take them up on the offer, and we do tend to pull garbage off of
 other animals as soon as they slow down enough for us to catch. 'a human got
 me but nothing bad happened' is a much more frequent thing than 'a human got
 me and tried to eat me
 anyway like, we're masters of our environment, we make weird shit happen all
 the time, we have lots of great food and sometimes we share, and we almost
 never eat someone. it makes sense for urban animals, over the last century or
 so, to just keep an eye out for opportunities to use us, and to pass the habit on
 to their kids.
 tsfennec
 It really is a weird, funny thing. Like yeah, technically they're predators, and they
 get pretty screamy, especially if you try to take any of their stuff... but given the
 chance it seems like they'd rather help us out and sometimes they'll just
 randomly give you food, so???
 I mean, I guess in fairytales and myths we've got our fair share of stories about
 dangerous people/creatures who might well kill you or otherwise ruin your life
 but to whom people nonetheless turn for help in desperate circumstances. So
 it's not like the perspective is exactly a foreign thing to our own mindset, really
 It's just that, y'know, we can't actually go make a deal with the faeries when
 there's something we can't figure out
 Which brings me to an interesting thought about the ubiquitous rule about never
 eating the faery food lest you find yourself forever unsatisfied with anything in
 the human world- and the potential parallels to the dangers of feeding wildlife
 human food lest they become addicted and too tame and dependent to be safe
 for either themselves or us. Hmm.)
 sapphicaquarius
 Okay, but that last bit with the Fae... makes almost perfect sense
 Of the stories I've read, the food of the Fae, its origins and effects, are often
 strange and/or obscure- Just like our food to most animals.
 The Fae are strange beings that seem to know weird things that give them
 power or an edge over us.- Just like us to animals.
 The Fae work and live by strange rules also ofen nonsensical or obscure to us
 Just like us to animals.
 The Fae can easily obtain vast amounts of things we consider
 rare/precious/desireable, and have no problem with dishing it out wantonly for no
 other reason than amusement.- Just like us to animals.
 The Fae sometimes are amused by having us around, but only on their terms
 and IF it amuses/intrigues them.- Just like us to animals.
 GUYS, I SENSE A PATTERN....
 -they have arcane social conventions and the punishment for not paying the
 correct respects right is banishment, if you're lucky, and death if you're not
 -they have wild and unexpected parties where you'd least expect to find them,
 but if you're bold enough to entertain them they'll feed you and caress you and
 play with you all night
 time runs strangely in their realm. their homes are summeriands: warm and
 bright, no matter the season. there is always fruit on their tables. but not
 everyone who comes in from the cold is let back out again.
 -their games are cruel and complex and unfair, but if you can beat them by their
 own rules you will access riches beyond imagining.
 sometimes they just fucking fuck with you, the fuckheads
 -they will absolutely steal your children away. when your children return-if they
 ever do-they will come back strange. they will know things they shouldn't. they
 won't know things that they should. your strange children might survive, might
 even prosper, might take wives and husbands and have children of their own
 but they will always be marked by their time away from your world.
 the price for pissing them off is always death. sometimes just you. sometimes
 your whole community
 if you are very good, and very smart, and very brave, they will grant your wish.
 oceaxereturns
 My eyes just got wider and wider the further down I read.
 Source:prokopetz #story feels #fae
 71,904 notes
Humans are the urban fae
                
            

            
            
Humans are the urban fae

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    fae: pancakeswithketchupmoonsan... Follow
 m4ge
 i walk into starbucks and order a pumpkin spice latte with 13 shots of espresso
 itell the barista that i intend to transcend humanity and become a god. i ask for
 no whip cream
 avantgaye
 you say this jokingly but i had a customer actually order a pumpkin spice latte
 with 9 shots of espresso (also no whip) and when i asked her to verify that she
 did indeed want 9 shots of espresso she looked me dead in the eyes and said
 i have 5 kids
 witchcraft-with-space-bean
 I once had a woman come in and ordered an Americano with 19 shots of
 espresso. The drink took ages. It held up the line. I asked her why, and she
 shrugged and said " just don't care". We still talk about that woman. We never
 saw her again
 anais-ninja-blog
 new cryptid: exhausted woman at starbucks
 katjohnadams
 Actual conversation I had at register:
 "Hi, welcome to [Starbucks! What can I get you, today?
 How much is it to fill a Venti with Espresso?"
 1-I'm sorry?
 A venti cup. How much to fill it with Espresso?
 Oh. uh. Well, it'd be I suppose... I only have a button for a Quad. I don't have
 special pricing for twenty ounces of espresso in a single... drink."
 "Price is the furthest thing from my mind right now. How many 'add shots' is
 that?
 deep breath of fear* "t'd be a quad with," "clears throat uh, sixteen additional
 shots of espresso. But, ma'am, I should tell you that the shots will start to get
 really bitter if they have to sit and wait for us to pull twenty of them-
 Taste means nothing to me.
 At this point I am truly fearing for my very existence in the presence of what
 must clearly be an eldritch being
 Oh. Well, okay." put on my absolute best customer service smile to hide my
 terror and accept that I must face this dragon, fae, or demon with dignity. "We
 can certainly get that for you! The price will be
 She begins to pay, I shit thee not, with golden dollar coins. We are a block from
 Wall Street, and this eldritch demi-being is paying for an unholy elixer with
 golden coins. My life will end soon,I am sure of i.
 Do you still have the Add Energy' packets?
 My heart began to race at this request. Yes maam.
 How many can I add?
 Futile though it is, at least I know the rote response to this. "For health
 reasons, we won't add more than one per drink and we cannot sell the packets
 individually
 "One then.
 I alter the order and tell her the new price. She pays, dumps the change and
 five golden dollars into the tip box. I write the order on the venti cup and pass it
 silently to the girl working the hot beverage station. Normally we called and
 pass, but this was not something to be spoken aloud.
 My fellow takes the cup, not thinking anything of the minor break with protocol,
 until she sees the order She stares at me. "No."
 The woman, which I call her for no other greater insight into her terrifying being
 s within my grasp, simply stands on the other side and says, calmly but with a
 of Admirals in bad movies, "Yes.
 My fellow barista pales before her task. But we are dutful, we are true to our
 task, great though it may be. She sets about clearing the two brand new
 Matrena's of all distraction, and sets two tall cups in the ready position. The
 energy packet is emptied into the venti cup, and the shots begin pouring
 The barista was damn near shaking. This woman's gaze felt like the fires of the
 sun. Finally, the shots are pulled, the cup is filled, and the hand off takes place
 Our visiting Incomprehensible takes it to our milk bar and adds a dollop of
 cream. Satisfied, she proceeds to down what must have been half the damn
 cup
 Then she smiled at us, like a benediction and I was honestly filled with joy And
 horror. She left, and we knew nothing more of her after that
 When I talk with other former employees, we quickly begin talking about The
 Company" as if we'd never I, perhaps knowing that part of our soul still powers
 that awesome and terrible corporate machine. And when I share this stroy
 other Baristas at first act shocked but quickly settle and comes the chorus,
 "Yeah, Ihad one like that."
 smartassjen
 Okay, Starbucks lore is my new favorite genre of literature. Please collect all
 these and more into a book
 jennyboom21
 So 5 shots isn't normal???
 Source: m4ge
 284,670 notes
Starbucks Lore
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                fae: pancakeswithketchupmoonsan... Follow
 m4ge
 i walk into starbucks and order a pumpkin spice latte with 13 shots of espresso
 itell the barista that i intend to transcend humanity and become a god. i ask for
 no whip cream
 avantgaye
 you say this jokingly but i had a customer actually order a pumpkin spice latte
 with 9 shots of espresso (also no whip) and when i asked her to verify that she
 did indeed want 9 shots of espresso she looked me dead in the eyes and said
 i have 5 kids
 witchcraft-with-space-bean
 I once had a woman come in and ordered an Americano with 19 shots of
 espresso. The drink took ages. It held up the line. I asked her why, and she
 shrugged and said " just don't care". We still talk about that woman. We never
 saw her again
 anais-ninja-blog
 new cryptid: exhausted woman at starbucks
 katjohnadams
 Actual conversation I had at register:
 "Hi, welcome to [Starbucks! What can I get you, today?
 How much is it to fill a Venti with Espresso?"
 1-I'm sorry?
 A venti cup. How much to fill it with Espresso?
 Oh. uh. Well, it'd be I suppose... I only have a button for a Quad. I don't have
 special pricing for twenty ounces of espresso in a single... drink."
 "Price is the furthest thing from my mind right now. How many 'add shots' is
 that?
 deep breath of fear* "t'd be a quad with," "clears throat uh, sixteen additional
 shots of espresso. But, ma'am, I should tell you that the shots will start to get
 really bitter if they have to sit and wait for us to pull twenty of them-
 Taste means nothing to me.
 At this point I am truly fearing for my very existence in the presence of what
 must clearly be an eldritch being
 Oh. Well, okay." put on my absolute best customer service smile to hide my
 terror and accept that I must face this dragon, fae, or demon with dignity. "We
 can certainly get that for you! The price will be
 She begins to pay, I shit thee not, with golden dollar coins. We are a block from
 Wall Street, and this eldritch demi-being is paying for an unholy elixer with
 golden coins. My life will end soon,I am sure of i.
 Do you still have the Add Energy' packets?
 My heart began to race at this request. Yes maam.
 How many can I add?
 Futile though it is, at least I know the rote response to this. "For health
 reasons, we won't add more than one per drink and we cannot sell the packets
 individually
 "One then.
 I alter the order and tell her the new price. She pays, dumps the change and
 five golden dollars into the tip box. I write the order on the venti cup and pass it
 silently to the girl working the hot beverage station. Normally we called and
 pass, but this was not something to be spoken aloud.
 My fellow takes the cup, not thinking anything of the minor break with protocol,
 until she sees the order She stares at me. "No."
 The woman, which I call her for no other greater insight into her terrifying being
 s within my grasp, simply stands on the other side and says, calmly but with a
 of Admirals in bad movies, "Yes.
 My fellow barista pales before her task. But we are dutful, we are true to our
 task, great though it may be. She sets about clearing the two brand new
 Matrena's of all distraction, and sets two tall cups in the ready position. The
 energy packet is emptied into the venti cup, and the shots begin pouring
 The barista was damn near shaking. This woman's gaze felt like the fires of the
 sun. Finally, the shots are pulled, the cup is filled, and the hand off takes place
 Our visiting Incomprehensible takes it to our milk bar and adds a dollop of
 cream. Satisfied, she proceeds to down what must have been half the damn
 cup
 Then she smiled at us, like a benediction and I was honestly filled with joy And
 horror. She left, and we knew nothing more of her after that
 When I talk with other former employees, we quickly begin talking about The
 Company" as if we'd never I, perhaps knowing that part of our soul still powers
 that awesome and terrible corporate machine. And when I share this stroy
 other Baristas at first act shocked but quickly settle and comes the chorus,
 "Yeah, Ihad one like that."
 smartassjen
 Okay, Starbucks lore is my new favorite genre of literature. Please collect all
 these and more into a book
 jennyboom21
 So 5 shots isn't normal???
 Source: m4ge
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Starbucks Lore