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Facebook, Fanta, and Job Interview: Remember, every question is a test so when they say "How are you?" reply "Goal ori tated, thank you." Make a point of mentioning you failed Reli- gious Studies and say The only thing I wor- ship is productivity." 2 thumbs up. Show you're good at delegating respon bility by sending someone else to the in terview Employers check Facebook accounts so make sure all your photos show you looking at a spreadsheet and punching the air. Always make eye contact and if you have two interviewers, train your eyes to work independently like a chameleon. Tell them you're not an applicánt, you're a appliCAN. Lick your finger, hold it against buttock. Make sizzling noise. When asked why you'd be suited to the job, pass an ancient scroll along the desk& say It was foretold." Stare at them. If you're meeting 3 interviewers, bring in a 4 finger Kitkat. Take charge of di ng Kitkat to emphasise leadership. If asked where you see yourself in 5 yrs time, tip them out of their chair, sit on it & say 'Here'. Break open a Fanta. At the beginning, try to make small talk with your interviewer such as "lovely day!" or "you look like my real father. When asked to describe yourself in 5 words say "Atrocious counting skills". Laugh. Open packet of Mini Eggs. When asked if you found the place OK, say I was driven here by cab. Normally of course I'm driven by results!" 4 winks Know the interviewer's name and use it during the interview. If you're not sure what it is, call them Jobsy" or "Jobbo". THE META PICTURE awesomesthesia: Some Good Job Interview Tips
nsfw
Facebook, Fanta, and Job Interview: Remember, every question is a test so when
 they say "How are you?" reply "Goal ori
 tated, thank you."
 Make a point of mentioning you failed Reli-
 gious Studies and say The only thing I wor-
 ship is productivity." 2 thumbs up.
 Show you're good at delegating respon
 bility by sending someone else to the in
 terview
 Employers check Facebook accounts so
 make sure all your photos show you looking
 at a spreadsheet and punching the air.
 Always make eye contact and if you have
 two interviewers, train your eyes to
 work independently like a chameleon.
 Tell them you're not an applicánt, you're a
 appliCAN. Lick your finger, hold it against
 buttock. Make sizzling noise.
 When asked why you'd be suited to the job,
 pass an ancient scroll along the desk& say
 It was foretold." Stare at them.
 If you're meeting 3 interviewers, bring in a 4
 finger Kitkat. Take charge of di
 ng
 Kitkat to emphasise leadership.
 If asked where you see yourself in 5 yrs
 time, tip them out of their chair, sit on it &
 say 'Here'. Break open a Fanta.
 At the beginning, try to make small talk
 with your interviewer such as "lovely day!"
 or "you look like my real father.
 When asked to describe yourself in 5 words
 say "Atrocious counting skills". Laugh. Open
 packet of Mini Eggs.
 When asked if you found the place OK, say
 I was driven here by cab. Normally of
 course I'm driven by results!" 4 winks
 Know the interviewer's name and use it
 during the interview. If you're not sure
 what it is, call them Jobsy" or "Jobbo".
 THE META PICTURE
awesomesthesia:

Some Good Job Interview Tips

awesomesthesia: Some Good Job Interview Tips

England, Facebook, and Friends: Gay couple beaten up for refusing to kiss for men's entertainment f P Melania Geymonat (R) and her girlfriend Chris were beaten up by a gang of men on a London bus (Picture: Sam Webb) concentrated-sunshine: yayfeminism: A gay couple in London were beaten by a gang of men, after refusing to kiss. One of the women, Melania Getmonat wrote this on facebook: “Last Wednesday, I had a date with Chris. We got on the Night Bus, heading for her place in Camden Town, climbed upstairs and took the front seats. We must have kissed or something because these guys came after us. I don’t remember if they were already there or if they got on after us. There were at least four of them. They started behaving like hooligans, demanding that we kissed so they could enjoy watching, calling us ‘lesbians’ and describing sexual positions. I don’t remember the whole episode, but the word ‘scissors’ stuck in my mind. It was only them and us there. In an attempt to calm things down, I started making jokes. I thought this might make them go away. Chris even pretended she was sick, but they kept on harassing us, throwing us coins and becoming more enthusiastic about it. The next thing I know is that Chris is in the middle of the bus fighting with them. On an impulse, I went over there only to find her face bleeding and three of them beating her up. The next thing I know is I’m being punched. I got dizzy at the sight of my blood and fell back. I don’t remember whether or not I lost consciousness. Suddenly the bus had stopped, the police were there and I was bleeding all over. Our stuff was stolen as well. I don’t know yet if my nose is broken, and I haven’t been able to go back to work, but what upsets me the most is that VIOLENCE HAS BECOME A COMMON THING, that sometimes it’s necessary to see a woman bleeding after having been punched to feel some kind of impact. I’m tired of being taken as a SEXUAL OBJECT, of finding out that these situations are usual, of gay friends who were beaten up JUST BECAUSE. We have to endure verbal harassment AND CHAUVINIST, MISOGYNISTIC AND HOMOPHOBIC VIOLENCE because when you stand up for yourself shit like this happens. By the way, I am thankful to all the women and men in my life that understand that HAVING BALLS MEANS SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. I just hope that in June, Pride Month, stuff like this can be spoken out loudly so they STOP HAPPENING!” Gay couple beaten for refusing to kiss They have CCTV footage of the motherfuckers, put that shit on the met Twitter feed..blast their faces all over the place and you’ll have them in custody by tea time. What the fucking fuck
England, Facebook, and Friends: Gay couple beaten up for refusing to
 kiss for men's entertainment
 f
 P
 Melania Geymonat (R) and her girlfriend Chris were beaten up by a
 gang of men on a London bus (Picture: Sam Webb)
concentrated-sunshine:
yayfeminism:


A gay couple in London were beaten by a gang of men, after refusing to kiss.
One of the women, Melania Getmonat wrote this on facebook:
“Last Wednesday, I had a date with Chris. We got on the Night Bus, heading for her place in Camden Town, climbed upstairs and took the front seats. We must have kissed or something because these guys came after us. I don’t remember if they were already there or if they got on after us. There were at least four of them. They started behaving like hooligans, demanding that we kissed so they could enjoy watching, calling us ‘lesbians’ and describing sexual positions. I don’t remember the whole episode, but the word ‘scissors’ stuck in my mind. It was only them and us there. In an attempt to calm things down, I started making jokes. I thought this might make them go away. Chris even pretended she was sick, but they kept on harassing us, throwing us coins and becoming more enthusiastic about it. The next thing I know is that Chris is in the middle of the bus fighting with them. On an impulse, I went over there only to find her face bleeding and three of them beating her up. The next thing I know is I’m being punched. I got dizzy at the sight of my blood and fell back. I don’t remember whether or not I lost consciousness. Suddenly the bus had stopped, the police were there and I was bleeding all over. Our stuff was stolen as well. I don’t know yet if my nose is broken, and I haven’t been able to go back to work, but what upsets me the most is that VIOLENCE HAS BECOME A COMMON THING, that sometimes it’s necessary to see a woman bleeding after having been punched to feel some kind of impact. I’m tired of being taken as a SEXUAL OBJECT, of finding out that these situations are usual, of gay friends who were beaten up JUST BECAUSE. We have to endure verbal harassment AND CHAUVINIST, MISOGYNISTIC AND HOMOPHOBIC VIOLENCE because when you stand up for yourself shit like this happens. By the way, I am thankful to all the women and men in my life that understand that HAVING BALLS MEANS SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. I just hope that in June, Pride Month, stuff like this can be spoken out loudly so they STOP HAPPENING!”


Gay couple beaten for refusing to kiss
They have CCTV footage of the motherfuckers,  put that shit on the met Twitter feed..blast their faces all over the place and you’ll have them in custody by tea time.


What the fucking fuck

concentrated-sunshine: yayfeminism: A gay couple in London were beaten by a gang of men, after refusing to kiss. One of the women, Melania...