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Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
 ALLIGATORS
 How To WRESTLE FREE
 FROM AN ALLIGATOR
 If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
 downward pressure on its neck.
 This will force its head and jaws down.
 2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
 This will usually make it more sedate.
 5 feet
 10 fet
 15 feet
 20 feet
 3 Go for the eyes and nose.
 If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
 (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
 Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
 They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
 back off.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
 How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
 NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
 If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
 from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
 actions cause severe tissue damage.
 Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
 not begin shaking.
 Determine the size of the alligator.
 Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
 than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
 alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
 can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
 should be considered deadly.
 cut or bruise, to treat infection.
 Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
 Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
 Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
 If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
 Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
 water
 5 Make a loud noise.
 To get an alligator to release sometbing it
 bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
 Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
 ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
 move, however, you will have gained its attention.
 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
 the object.
 The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
 An alligator more than nine feet
 long is likely to be male, and males
 tend to be more aggressive.
 space.
 Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
 After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
 run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
 Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

 when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
 only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
 human.
 will travel
 Who Has the Most Bite?
 ANIMAL
 NUMBER OF TEETH
 WARNING!
 whale
 Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
 commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
 Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
 red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
 sharpest teeth in the world)
 You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
 The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
 Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
 in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
 Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
 young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
 youngster
 lion
 30: four canine, four carnassial,
 the rest conical
 human being
 32
 sloth bear
 40
 bear
 42, including four canines and
 12 incisors
 Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
 animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
 are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
 without provocation.
 saltwater crocodile
 68 to 70
 alligator
 80 to 88
 giant armadillo
 up to 100
 gavial (fish-eating
 crocodile)
 102
 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
 Approach the alligator from behind.
 longspouted spinner up to 252
 dolphin
 2 Straddle the creature's back
 Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
 alligator.
 up to 3,000 in five rows (the
 scariest mouth)
 great white shark
 3 Crawl your way up to the head.
 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
 structures called radulae)
 snail
 Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
 Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
 over the eyes of the beast.
 GClamp the jaws.
 Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
 gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
 Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
 mouth is tightly closed
 use to
 open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
 hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
 Z Take out your binding material.
 Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
 grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
 teeth
 Wrap the tape
 six times around
 the snout
 Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
 nout.
 WARNING!
 Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
 rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
 that can be fied and knotted.
 Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
 Copyrighted Material
 seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
 ALLIGATORS
 How To WRESTLE FREE
 FROM AN ALLIGATOR
 If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
 downward pressure on its neck.
 This will force its head and jaws down.
 2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
 This will usually make it more sedate.
 5 feet
 10 fet
 15 feet
 20 feet
 3 Go for the eyes and nose.
 If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
 (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
 Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
 They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
 back off.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
 How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
 NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
 If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
 from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
 actions cause severe tissue damage.
 Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
 not begin shaking.
 Determine the size of the alligator.
 Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
 than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
 alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
 can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
 should be considered deadly.
 cut or bruise, to treat infection.
 Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
 Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
 Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
 If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
 Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
 water
 5 Make a loud noise.
 To get an alligator to release sometbing it
 bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
 Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
 ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
 move, however, you will have gained its attention.
 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
 the object.
 The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
 An alligator more than nine feet
 long is likely to be male, and males
 tend to be more aggressive.
 space.
 Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
 After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
 run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
 Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

 when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
 only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
 human.
 will travel
 Who Has the Most Bite?
 ANIMAL
 NUMBER OF TEETH
 WARNING!
 whale
 Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
 commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
 Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
 red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
 sharpest teeth in the world)
 You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
 The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
 Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
 in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
 Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
 young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
 youngster
 lion
 30: four canine, four carnassial,
 the rest conical
 human being
 32
 sloth bear
 40
 bear
 42, including four canines and
 12 incisors
 Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
 animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
 are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
 without provocation.
 saltwater crocodile
 68 to 70
 alligator
 80 to 88
 giant armadillo
 up to 100
 gavial (fish-eating
 crocodile)
 102
 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
 Approach the alligator from behind.
 longspouted spinner up to 252
 dolphin
 2 Straddle the creature's back
 Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
 alligator.
 up to 3,000 in five rows (the
 scariest mouth)
 great white shark
 3 Crawl your way up to the head.
 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
 structures called radulae)
 snail
 Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
 Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
 over the eyes of the beast.
 GClamp the jaws.
 Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
 gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
 Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
 mouth is tightly closed
 use to
 open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
 hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
 Z Take out your binding material.
 Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
 grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
 teeth
 Wrap the tape
 six times around
 the snout
 Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
 nout.
 WARNING!
 Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
 rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
 that can be fied and knotted.
 Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
 Copyrighted Material
 seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
 ALLIGATORS
 How To WRESTLE FREE
 FROM AN ALLIGATOR
 If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
 downward pressure on its neck.
 This will force its head and jaws down.
 2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
 This will usually make it more sedate.
 5 feet
 10 fet
 15 feet
 20 feet
 3 Go for the eyes and nose.
 If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
 (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
 Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
 They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
 back off.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
 How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
 NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
 If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
 from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
 actions cause severe tissue damage.
 Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
 not begin shaking.
 Determine the size of the alligator.
 Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
 than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
 alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
 can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
 should be considered deadly.
 cut or bruise, to treat infection.
 Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
 Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
 Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
 If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
 Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
 water
 5 Make a loud noise.
 To get an alligator to release sometbing it
 bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
 Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
 ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
 move, however, you will have gained its attention.
 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
 the object.
 The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
 An alligator more than nine feet
 long is likely to be male, and males
 tend to be more aggressive.
 space.
 Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
 After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
 run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
 Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

 when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
 only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
 human.
 will travel
 Who Has the Most Bite?
 ANIMAL
 NUMBER OF TEETH
 WARNING!
 whale
 Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
 commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
 Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
 red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
 sharpest teeth in the world)
 You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
 The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
 Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
 in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
 Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
 young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
 youngster
 lion
 30: four canine, four carnassial,
 the rest conical
 human being
 32
 sloth bear
 40
 bear
 42, including four canines and
 12 incisors
 Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
 animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
 are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
 without provocation.
 saltwater crocodile
 68 to 70
 alligator
 80 to 88
 giant armadillo
 up to 100
 gavial (fish-eating
 crocodile)
 102
 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
 Approach the alligator from behind.
 longspouted spinner up to 252
 dolphin
 2 Straddle the creature's back
 Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
 alligator.
 up to 3,000 in five rows (the
 scariest mouth)
 great white shark
 3 Crawl your way up to the head.
 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
 structures called radulae)
 snail
 Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
 Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
 over the eyes of the beast.
 GClamp the jaws.
 Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
 gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
 Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
 mouth is tightly closed
 use to
 open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
 hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
 Z Take out your binding material.
 Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
 grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
 teeth
 Wrap the tape
 six times around
 the snout
 Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
 nout.
 WARNING!
 Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
 rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
 that can be fied and knotted.
 Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
 Copyrighted Material
 seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
 ALLIGATORS
 How To WRESTLE FREE
 FROM AN ALLIGATOR
 If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
 downward pressure on its neck.
 This will force its head and jaws down.
 2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
 This will usually make it more sedate.
 5 feet
 10 fet
 15 feet
 20 feet
 3 Go for the eyes and nose.
 If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
 (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
 Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
 They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
 back off.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
 How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
 NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
 If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
 from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
 actions cause severe tissue damage.
 Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
 not begin shaking.
 Determine the size of the alligator.
 Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
 than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
 alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
 can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
 should be considered deadly.
 cut or bruise, to treat infection.
 Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
 Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
 Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
 If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
 Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
 water
 5 Make a loud noise.
 To get an alligator to release sometbing it
 bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
 Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
 ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
 move, however, you will have gained its attention.
 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
 the object.
 The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
 An alligator more than nine feet
 long is likely to be male, and males
 tend to be more aggressive.
 space.
 Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
 After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
 run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
 Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

 when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
 only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
 human.
 will travel
 Who Has the Most Bite?
 ANIMAL
 NUMBER OF TEETH
 WARNING!
 whale
 Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
 commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
 Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
 red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
 sharpest teeth in the world)
 You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
 The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
 Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
 in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
 Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
 young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
 youngster
 lion
 30: four canine, four carnassial,
 the rest conical
 human being
 32
 sloth bear
 40
 bear
 42, including four canines and
 12 incisors
 Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
 animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
 are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
 without provocation.
 saltwater crocodile
 68 to 70
 alligator
 80 to 88
 giant armadillo
 up to 100
 gavial (fish-eating
 crocodile)
 102
 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
 Approach the alligator from behind.
 longspouted spinner up to 252
 dolphin
 2 Straddle the creature's back
 Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
 alligator.
 up to 3,000 in five rows (the
 scariest mouth)
 great white shark
 3 Crawl your way up to the head.
 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
 structures called radulae)
 snail
 Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
 Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
 over the eyes of the beast.
 GClamp the jaws.
 Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
 gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
 Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
 mouth is tightly closed
 use to
 open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
 hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
 Z Take out your binding material.
 Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
 grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
 teeth
 Wrap the tape
 six times around
 the snout
 Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
 nout.
 WARNING!
 Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
 rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
 that can be fied and knotted.
 Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
 Copyrighted Material
 seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
 ALLIGATORS
 How To WRESTLE FREE
 FROM AN ALLIGATOR
 If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
 downward pressure on its neck.
 This will force its head and jaws down.
 2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
 This will usually make it more sedate.
 5 feet
 10 fet
 15 feet
 20 feet
 3 Go for the eyes and nose.
 If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
 (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
 Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
 They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
 back off.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
 How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
 NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
 If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
 from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
 actions cause severe tissue damage.
 Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
 not begin shaking.
 Determine the size of the alligator.
 Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
 than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
 alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
 can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
 should be considered deadly.
 cut or bruise, to treat infection.
 Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
 Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
 Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
 If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
 Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
 water
 5 Make a loud noise.
 To get an alligator to release sometbing it
 bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
 Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
 ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
 move, however, you will have gained its attention.
 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
 the object.
 The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
 An alligator more than nine feet
 long is likely to be male, and males
 tend to be more aggressive.
 space.
 Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
 After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
 run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
 Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

 when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
 only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
 human.
 will travel
 Who Has the Most Bite?
 ANIMAL
 NUMBER OF TEETH
 WARNING!
 whale
 Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
 commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
 Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
 red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
 sharpest teeth in the world)
 You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
 The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
 Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
 in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
 Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
 young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
 youngster
 lion
 30: four canine, four carnassial,
 the rest conical
 human being
 32
 sloth bear
 40
 bear
 42, including four canines and
 12 incisors
 Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
 animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
 are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
 without provocation.
 saltwater crocodile
 68 to 70
 alligator
 80 to 88
 giant armadillo
 up to 100
 gavial (fish-eating
 crocodile)
 102
 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
 Approach the alligator from behind.
 longspouted spinner up to 252
 dolphin
 2 Straddle the creature's back
 Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
 alligator.
 up to 3,000 in five rows (the
 scariest mouth)
 great white shark
 3 Crawl your way up to the head.
 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
 structures called radulae)
 snail
 Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
 Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
 over the eyes of the beast.
 GClamp the jaws.
 Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
 gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
 Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
 mouth is tightly closed
 use to
 open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
 hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
 Z Take out your binding material.
 Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
 grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
 teeth
 Wrap the tape
 six times around
 the snout
 Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
 nout.
 WARNING!
 Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
 rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
 that can be fied and knotted.
 Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
 Copyrighted Material
 seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
 ALLIGATORS
 How To WRESTLE FREE
 FROM AN ALLIGATOR
 If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
 downward pressure on its neck.
 This will force its head and jaws down.
 2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
 This will usually make it more sedate.
 5 feet
 10 fet
 15 feet
 20 feet
 3 Go for the eyes and nose.
 If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
 (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
 Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
 They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
 back off.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
 How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
 NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
 If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
 from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
 actions cause severe tissue damage.
 Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
 not begin shaking.
 Determine the size of the alligator.
 Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
 than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
 alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
 can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
 should be considered deadly.
 cut or bruise, to treat infection.
 Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
 Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
 Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
 If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
 Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
 water
 5 Make a loud noise.
 To get an alligator to release sometbing it
 bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
 Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
 ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
 move, however, you will have gained its attention.
 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
 the object.
 The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
 An alligator more than nine feet
 long is likely to be male, and males
 tend to be more aggressive.
 space.
 Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
 After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
 run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
 Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

 when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
 only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
 human.
 will travel
 Who Has the Most Bite?
 ANIMAL
 NUMBER OF TEETH
 WARNING!
 whale
 Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
 commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
 Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
 red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
 sharpest teeth in the world)
 You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
 The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
 Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
 in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
 Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
 young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
 youngster
 lion
 30: four canine, four carnassial,
 the rest conical
 human being
 32
 sloth bear
 40
 bear
 42, including four canines and
 12 incisors
 Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
 animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
 are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
 without provocation.
 saltwater crocodile
 68 to 70
 alligator
 80 to 88
 giant armadillo
 up to 100
 gavial (fish-eating
 crocodile)
 102
 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
 Approach the alligator from behind.
 longspouted spinner up to 252
 dolphin
 2 Straddle the creature's back
 Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
 alligator.
 up to 3,000 in five rows (the
 scariest mouth)
 great white shark
 3 Crawl your way up to the head.
 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
 structures called radulae)
 snail
 Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
 Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
 over the eyes of the beast.
 GClamp the jaws.
 Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
 gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
 Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
 mouth is tightly closed
 use to
 open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
 hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
 Z Take out your binding material.
 Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
 grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
 teeth
 Wrap the tape
 six times around
 the snout
 Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
 nout.
 WARNING!
 Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
 rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
 that can be fied and knotted.
 Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
 Copyrighted Material
 seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Africa, Books, and Fucking: بوكسيلوس SPLUS Ma A 83INT 14th century Chinese explorer Zheng He's ship compared to Columbus's. deducecanoe: ourobousfamilia: deducecanoe: chickwithmonkey: potootagath: wingleader: wakeupslaves: the-goddamazon: LOL man. never forget white people did nothing first neither the best, they sleep and eat false propaganda, Ugh, why the shit does that have to turn into a race thing? Why does EVERYTHING have to turn into a race thing? because white people have made sure that everything is about race as proved by the fact that when you say explorer, you think of a bunch of white guys walking the world and discovering it ~exotic wonders~ even though Zheng He travelled through Asia, to the Middle East, and even East Africa. But you’d likely never heard of him before. Same reason you never heard of Ahmad Ibn Fadlan, an Arab traveller who, as early as the 10th century, went to the Volga area for diplomatic reasons. He wrote about it, much as Marco Polo would do later for his own travels, and is one of our sources on what viking were like (and by all accounts, he wrote about them more accurately than western scholars of the same period did) Oh, or Ibn Battuta who travelled throughout Africa long before europeans did, and even went to Europe himself. And that’s just some example of Muslim medieval travel writers Everything is about race because white people keep telling everyone that their race is the only one who every got anything done. i have heard of precisely zero non-european explorers ever in my life, and that fucking sucks. this exhibit is amazing and i need to learn more. That boat is a frickin aircraft carrier comparatively. Holy crap. And no. Never heard a peep. Zhenghe went to over 40 countries in Asia and Africa and probably went even further, but I didn’t encounter that in history books before. He brought gifts from China to every country he went to and everyone loved him. It was just like “Hey, I’m here with a water-helicarrier and a gift,” and the kings of every country were lilke “holy shit son well here have a giraffe.” There are paintings depicting him leading a giraffe as well. Check him out guys, he’s really cool That is so awesome. Fuck western history. This is the real shit.
Africa, Books, and Fucking: بوكسيلوس
 SPLUS
 Ma
 A
 83INT
 14th century Chinese explorer Zheng He's
 ship compared to Columbus's.
deducecanoe:
ourobousfamilia:

deducecanoe:

chickwithmonkey:

potootagath:

wingleader:

wakeupslaves:

the-goddamazon:

LOL man.

never forget white people did nothing first neither the best, they sleep and eat false propaganda,

Ugh, why the shit does that have to turn into a race thing? Why does EVERYTHING have to turn into a race thing?

because white people have made sure that everything is about race
as proved by the fact that when you say explorer, you think of a bunch of white guys walking the world and discovering it ~exotic wonders~ even though Zheng He travelled through Asia, to the Middle East, and even East Africa. But you’d likely never heard of him before.
Same reason you never heard of Ahmad Ibn Fadlan, an Arab traveller who, as early as the 10th century, went to the Volga area for diplomatic reasons. He wrote about it, much as Marco Polo would do later for his own travels, and is one of our sources on what viking were like (and by all accounts, he wrote about them more accurately than western scholars of the same period did)
Oh, or Ibn Battuta who travelled throughout Africa long before europeans did, and even went to Europe himself.
And that’s just some example of Muslim medieval travel writers
Everything is about race because white people keep telling everyone that their race is the only one who every got anything done.

i have heard of precisely zero non-european explorers ever in my life, and that fucking sucks. this exhibit is amazing and i need to learn more.

That boat is a frickin aircraft carrier comparatively. Holy crap. And no. Never heard a peep.

Zhenghe went to over 40 countries in Asia and Africa and probably went even further, but I didn’t encounter that in history books before. He brought gifts from China to every country he went to and everyone loved him. It was just like “Hey, I’m here with a water-helicarrier and a gift,” and the kings of every country were lilke “holy shit son well here have a giraffe.” There are paintings depicting him leading a giraffe as well. Check him out guys, he’s really cool

That is so awesome. Fuck western history. This is the real shit.

deducecanoe: ourobousfamilia: deducecanoe: chickwithmonkey: potootagath: wingleader: wakeupslaves: the-goddamazon: LOL man. never fo...

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
 ALLIGATORS
 How To WRESTLE FREE
 FROM AN ALLIGATOR
 If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
 downward pressure on its neck.
 This will force its head and jaws down.
 2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
 This will usually make it more sedate.
 5 feet
 10 fet
 15 feet
 20 feet
 3 Go for the eyes and nose.
 If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
 (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
 Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
 They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
 back off.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
 How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
 NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
 If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
 from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
 actions cause severe tissue damage.
 Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
 not begin shaking.
 Determine the size of the alligator.
 Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
 than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
 alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
 can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
 should be considered deadly.
 cut or bruise, to treat infection.
 Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
 Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
 Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
 If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
 Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
 water
 5 Make a loud noise.
 To get an alligator to release sometbing it
 bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
 Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
 ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
 move, however, you will have gained its attention.
 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
 the object.
 The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
 An alligator more than nine feet
 long is likely to be male, and males
 tend to be more aggressive.
 space.
 Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
 After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
 run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
 Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

 when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
 only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
 human.
 will travel
 Who Has the Most Bite?
 ANIMAL
 NUMBER OF TEETH
 WARNING!
 whale
 Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
 commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
 Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
 red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
 sharpest teeth in the world)
 You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
 The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
 Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
 in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
 Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
 young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
 youngster
 lion
 30: four canine, four carnassial,
 the rest conical
 human being
 32
 sloth bear
 40
 bear
 42, including four canines and
 12 incisors
 Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
 animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
 are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
 without provocation.
 saltwater crocodile
 68 to 70
 alligator
 80 to 88
 giant armadillo
 up to 100
 gavial (fish-eating
 crocodile)
 102
 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
 Approach the alligator from behind.
 longspouted spinner up to 252
 dolphin
 2 Straddle the creature's back
 Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
 alligator.
 up to 3,000 in five rows (the
 scariest mouth)
 great white shark
 3 Crawl your way up to the head.
 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
 structures called radulae)
 snail
 Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
 Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
 over the eyes of the beast.
 GClamp the jaws.
 Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
 gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
 Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
 mouth is tightly closed
 use to
 open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
 hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
 Z Take out your binding material.
 Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
 grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
 teeth
 Wrap the tape
 six times around
 the snout
 Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
 nout.
 WARNING!
 Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
 rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
 that can be fied and knotted.
 Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
 Copyrighted Material
 seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
 ALLIGATORS
 How To WRESTLE FREE
 FROM AN ALLIGATOR
 If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
 downward pressure on its neck.
 This will force its head and jaws down.
 2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
 This will usually make it more sedate.
 5 feet
 10 fet
 15 feet
 20 feet
 3 Go for the eyes and nose.
 If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
 (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
 Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
 They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
 back off.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
 How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
 NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
 If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
 from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
 actions cause severe tissue damage.
 Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
 not begin shaking.
 Determine the size of the alligator.
 Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
 than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
 alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
 can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
 should be considered deadly.
 cut or bruise, to treat infection.
 Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
 Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
 Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
 If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
 Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
 water
 5 Make a loud noise.
 To get an alligator to release sometbing it
 bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
 Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
 ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
 move, however, you will have gained its attention.
 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
 the object.
 The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
 An alligator more than nine feet
 long is likely to be male, and males
 tend to be more aggressive.
 space.
 Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
 After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
 run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
 Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

 when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
 only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
 human.
 will travel
 Who Has the Most Bite?
 ANIMAL
 NUMBER OF TEETH
 WARNING!
 whale
 Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
 commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
 Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
 red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
 sharpest teeth in the world)
 You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
 The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
 Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
 in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
 Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
 young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
 youngster
 lion
 30: four canine, four carnassial,
 the rest conical
 human being
 32
 sloth bear
 40
 bear
 42, including four canines and
 12 incisors
 Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
 animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
 are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
 without provocation.
 saltwater crocodile
 68 to 70
 alligator
 80 to 88
 giant armadillo
 up to 100
 gavial (fish-eating
 crocodile)
 102
 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
 Approach the alligator from behind.
 longspouted spinner up to 252
 dolphin
 2 Straddle the creature's back
 Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
 alligator.
 up to 3,000 in five rows (the
 scariest mouth)
 great white shark
 3 Crawl your way up to the head.
 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
 structures called radulae)
 snail
 Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
 Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
 over the eyes of the beast.
 GClamp the jaws.
 Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
 gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
 Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
 mouth is tightly closed
 use to
 open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
 hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
 Z Take out your binding material.
 Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
 grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
 teeth
 Wrap the tape
 six times around
 the snout
 Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
 nout.
 WARNING!
 Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
 rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
 that can be fied and knotted.
 Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
 Copyrighted Material
 seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
 ALLIGATORS
 How To WRESTLE FREE
 FROM AN ALLIGATOR
 If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
 downward pressure on its neck.
 This will force its head and jaws down.
 2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
 This will usually make it more sedate.
 5 feet
 10 fet
 15 feet
 20 feet
 3 Go for the eyes and nose.
 If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
 (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
 Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
 They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
 back off.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
 How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
 NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
 If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
 from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
 actions cause severe tissue damage.
 Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
 not begin shaking.
 Determine the size of the alligator.
 Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
 than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
 alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
 can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
 should be considered deadly.
 cut or bruise, to treat infection.
 Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
 Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
 Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
 If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
 Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
 water
 5 Make a loud noise.
 To get an alligator to release sometbing it
 bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
 Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
 ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
 move, however, you will have gained its attention.
 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
 the object.
 The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
 An alligator more than nine feet
 long is likely to be male, and males
 tend to be more aggressive.
 space.
 Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
 After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
 run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
 Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

 when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
 only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
 human.
 will travel
 Who Has the Most Bite?
 ANIMAL
 NUMBER OF TEETH
 WARNING!
 whale
 Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
 commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
 Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
 red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
 sharpest teeth in the world)
 You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
 The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
 Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
 in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
 Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
 young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
 youngster
 lion
 30: four canine, four carnassial,
 the rest conical
 human being
 32
 sloth bear
 40
 bear
 42, including four canines and
 12 incisors
 Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
 animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
 are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
 without provocation.
 saltwater crocodile
 68 to 70
 alligator
 80 to 88
 giant armadillo
 up to 100
 gavial (fish-eating
 crocodile)
 102
 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
 Approach the alligator from behind.
 longspouted spinner up to 252
 dolphin
 2 Straddle the creature's back
 Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
 alligator.
 up to 3,000 in five rows (the
 scariest mouth)
 great white shark
 3 Crawl your way up to the head.
 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
 structures called radulae)
 snail
 Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
 Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
 over the eyes of the beast.
 GClamp the jaws.
 Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
 gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
 Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
 mouth is tightly closed
 use to
 open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
 hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
 Z Take out your binding material.
 Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
 grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
 teeth
 Wrap the tape
 six times around
 the snout
 Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
 nout.
 WARNING!
 Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
 rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
 that can be fied and knotted.
 Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
 Copyrighted Material
 seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
 ALLIGATORS
 How To WRESTLE FREE
 FROM AN ALLIGATOR
 If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
 downward pressure on its neck.
 This will force its head and jaws down.
 2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
 This will usually make it more sedate.
 5 feet
 10 fet
 15 feet
 20 feet
 3 Go for the eyes and nose.
 If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
 (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
 Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
 They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
 back off.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
 How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
 NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
 If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
 from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
 actions cause severe tissue damage.
 Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
 not begin shaking.
 Determine the size of the alligator.
 Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
 than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
 alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
 can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
 should be considered deadly.
 cut or bruise, to treat infection.
 Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
 Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
 Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
 If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
 Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
 water
 5 Make a loud noise.
 To get an alligator to release sometbing it
 bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
 Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
 ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
 move, however, you will have gained its attention.
 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
 the object.
 The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
 An alligator more than nine feet
 long is likely to be male, and males
 tend to be more aggressive.
 space.
 Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
 After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
 run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
 Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

 when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
 only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
 human.
 will travel
 Who Has the Most Bite?
 ANIMAL
 NUMBER OF TEETH
 WARNING!
 whale
 Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
 commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
 Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
 red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
 sharpest teeth in the world)
 You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
 The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
 Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
 in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
 Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
 young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
 youngster
 lion
 30: four canine, four carnassial,
 the rest conical
 human being
 32
 sloth bear
 40
 bear
 42, including four canines and
 12 incisors
 Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
 animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
 are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
 without provocation.
 saltwater crocodile
 68 to 70
 alligator
 80 to 88
 giant armadillo
 up to 100
 gavial (fish-eating
 crocodile)
 102
 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
 Approach the alligator from behind.
 longspouted spinner up to 252
 dolphin
 2 Straddle the creature's back
 Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
 alligator.
 up to 3,000 in five rows (the
 scariest mouth)
 great white shark
 3 Crawl your way up to the head.
 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
 structures called radulae)
 snail
 Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
 Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
 over the eyes of the beast.
 GClamp the jaws.
 Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
 gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
 Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
 mouth is tightly closed
 use to
 open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
 hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
 Z Take out your binding material.
 Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
 grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
 teeth
 Wrap the tape
 six times around
 the snout
 Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
 nout.
 WARNING!
 Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
 rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
 that can be fied and knotted.
 Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
 Copyrighted Material
 seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
 ALLIGATORS
 How To WRESTLE FREE
 FROM AN ALLIGATOR
 If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
 downward pressure on its neck.
 This will force its head and jaws down.
 2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
 This will usually make it more sedate.
 5 feet
 10 fet
 15 feet
 20 feet
 3 Go for the eyes and nose.
 If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
 (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
 Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
 They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
 back off.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
 How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
 NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
 If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
 from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
 actions cause severe tissue damage.
 Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
 not begin shaking.
 Determine the size of the alligator.
 Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
 than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
 alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
 can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
 should be considered deadly.
 cut or bruise, to treat infection.
 Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
 Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
 Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
 If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
 Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
 water
 5 Make a loud noise.
 To get an alligator to release sometbing it
 bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
 Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
 ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
 move, however, you will have gained its attention.
 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
 the object.
 The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
 An alligator more than nine feet
 long is likely to be male, and males
 tend to be more aggressive.
 space.
 Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
 After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
 run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
 Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

 when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
 only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
 human.
 will travel
 Who Has the Most Bite?
 ANIMAL
 NUMBER OF TEETH
 WARNING!
 whale
 Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
 commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
 Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
 red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
 sharpest teeth in the world)
 You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
 The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
 Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
 in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
 Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
 young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
 youngster
 lion
 30: four canine, four carnassial,
 the rest conical
 human being
 32
 sloth bear
 40
 bear
 42, including four canines and
 12 incisors
 Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
 animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
 are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
 without provocation.
 saltwater crocodile
 68 to 70
 alligator
 80 to 88
 giant armadillo
 up to 100
 gavial (fish-eating
 crocodile)
 102
 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
 Approach the alligator from behind.
 longspouted spinner up to 252
 dolphin
 2 Straddle the creature's back
 Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
 alligator.
 up to 3,000 in five rows (the
 scariest mouth)
 great white shark
 3 Crawl your way up to the head.
 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
 structures called radulae)
 snail
 Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
 Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
 over the eyes of the beast.
 GClamp the jaws.
 Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
 gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
 Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
 mouth is tightly closed
 use to
 open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
 hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
 Z Take out your binding material.
 Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
 grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
 teeth
 Wrap the tape
 six times around
 the snout
 Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
 nout.
 WARNING!
 Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
 rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
 that can be fied and knotted.
 Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
 Copyrighted Material
 seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
 ALLIGATORS
 How To WRESTLE FREE
 FROM AN ALLIGATOR
 If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
 downward pressure on its neck.
 This will force its head and jaws down.
 2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
 This will usually make it more sedate.
 5 feet
 10 fet
 15 feet
 20 feet
 3 Go for the eyes and nose.
 If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
 (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
 Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
 They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
 back off.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
 How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
 NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
 If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
 from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
 actions cause severe tissue damage.
 Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
 not begin shaking.
 Determine the size of the alligator.
 Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
 than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
 alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
 can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
 should be considered deadly.
 cut or bruise, to treat infection.
 Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
 Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
 Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
 If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
 Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
 water
 5 Make a loud noise.
 To get an alligator to release sometbing it
 bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
 Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
 ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
 move, however, you will have gained its attention.
 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
 the object.
 The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
 An alligator more than nine feet
 long is likely to be male, and males
 tend to be more aggressive.
 space.
 Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
 After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
 run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
 Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

 when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
 only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
 human.
 will travel
 Who Has the Most Bite?
 ANIMAL
 NUMBER OF TEETH
 WARNING!
 whale
 Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
 commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
 Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
 red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
 sharpest teeth in the world)
 You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
 The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
 Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
 in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
 Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
 young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
 youngster
 lion
 30: four canine, four carnassial,
 the rest conical
 human being
 32
 sloth bear
 40
 bear
 42, including four canines and
 12 incisors
 Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
 animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
 are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
 without provocation.
 saltwater crocodile
 68 to 70
 alligator
 80 to 88
 giant armadillo
 up to 100
 gavial (fish-eating
 crocodile)
 102
 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
 Approach the alligator from behind.
 longspouted spinner up to 252
 dolphin
 2 Straddle the creature's back
 Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
 alligator.
 up to 3,000 in five rows (the
 scariest mouth)
 great white shark
 3 Crawl your way up to the head.
 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
 structures called radulae)
 snail
 Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
 Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
 over the eyes of the beast.
 GClamp the jaws.
 Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
 gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
 Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
 mouth is tightly closed
 use to
 open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
 hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
 Z Take out your binding material.
 Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
 grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
 teeth
 Wrap the tape
 six times around
 the snout
 Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
 nout.
 WARNING!
 Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
 rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
 that can be fied and knotted.
 Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
 Copyrighted Material
 seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
 ALLIGATORS
 How To WRESTLE FREE
 FROM AN ALLIGATOR
 If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
 downward pressure on its neck.
 This will force its head and jaws down.
 2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
 This will usually make it more sedate.
 5 feet
 10 fet
 15 feet
 20 feet
 3 Go for the eyes and nose.
 If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
 (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
 Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
 They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
 back off.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
 How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
 NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
 If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
 from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
 actions cause severe tissue damage.
 Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
 not begin shaking.
 Determine the size of the alligator.
 Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
 than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
 alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
 can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
 should be considered deadly.
 cut or bruise, to treat infection.
 Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
 Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
 Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
 If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
 Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
 water
 5 Make a loud noise.
 To get an alligator to release sometbing it
 bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
 Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
 ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
 move, however, you will have gained its attention.
 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
 the object.
 The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
 An alligator more than nine feet
 long is likely to be male, and males
 tend to be more aggressive.
 space.
 Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
 After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
 run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
 Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

 when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
 only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
 human.
 will travel
 Who Has the Most Bite?
 ANIMAL
 NUMBER OF TEETH
 WARNING!
 whale
 Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
 commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
 Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
 red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
 sharpest teeth in the world)
 You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
 The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
 Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
 in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
 Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
 young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
 youngster
 lion
 30: four canine, four carnassial,
 the rest conical
 human being
 32
 sloth bear
 40
 bear
 42, including four canines and
 12 incisors
 Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
 animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
 are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
 without provocation.
 saltwater crocodile
 68 to 70
 alligator
 80 to 88
 giant armadillo
 up to 100
 gavial (fish-eating
 crocodile)
 102
 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
 Approach the alligator from behind.
 longspouted spinner up to 252
 dolphin
 2 Straddle the creature's back
 Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
 alligator.
 up to 3,000 in five rows (the
 scariest mouth)
 great white shark
 3 Crawl your way up to the head.
 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
 structures called radulae)
 snail
 Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
 Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
 over the eyes of the beast.
 GClamp the jaws.
 Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
 gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
 Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
 mouth is tightly closed
 use to
 open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
 hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
 Z Take out your binding material.
 Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
 grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
 teeth
 Wrap the tape
 six times around
 the snout
 Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
 nout.
 WARNING!
 Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
 rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
 that can be fied and knotted.
 Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
 Copyrighted Material
 seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
 ALLIGATORS
 How To WRESTLE FREE
 FROM AN ALLIGATOR
 If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
 downward pressure on its neck.
 This will force its head and jaws down.
 2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
 This will usually make it more sedate.
 5 feet
 10 fet
 15 feet
 20 feet
 3 Go for the eyes and nose.
 If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
 (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
 Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
 They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
 back off.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
 How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
 NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
 If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
 from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
 actions cause severe tissue damage.
 Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
 not begin shaking.
 Determine the size of the alligator.
 Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
 than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
 alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
 can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
 should be considered deadly.
 cut or bruise, to treat infection.
 Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
 Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
 Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
 If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
 Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
 water
 5 Make a loud noise.
 To get an alligator to release sometbing it
 bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
 Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
 ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
 move, however, you will have gained its attention.
 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
 the object.
 The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
 An alligator more than nine feet
 long is likely to be male, and males
 tend to be more aggressive.
 space.
 Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
 After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
 run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
 Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

 when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
 only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
 human.
 will travel
 Who Has the Most Bite?
 ANIMAL
 NUMBER OF TEETH
 WARNING!
 whale
 Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
 commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
 Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
 red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
 sharpest teeth in the world)
 You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
 The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
 Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
 in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
 Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
 young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
 youngster
 lion
 30: four canine, four carnassial,
 the rest conical
 human being
 32
 sloth bear
 40
 bear
 42, including four canines and
 12 incisors
 Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
 animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
 are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
 without provocation.
 saltwater crocodile
 68 to 70
 alligator
 80 to 88
 giant armadillo
 up to 100
 gavial (fish-eating
 crocodile)
 102
 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
 Approach the alligator from behind.
 longspouted spinner up to 252
 dolphin
 2 Straddle the creature's back
 Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
 alligator.
 up to 3,000 in five rows (the
 scariest mouth)
 great white shark
 3 Crawl your way up to the head.
 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
 structures called radulae)
 snail
 Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
 Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
 over the eyes of the beast.
 GClamp the jaws.
 Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
 gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
 Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
 mouth is tightly closed
 use to
 open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
 hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
 Z Take out your binding material.
 Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
 grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
 teeth
 Wrap the tape
 six times around
 the snout
 Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
 nout.
 WARNING!
 Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
 rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
 that can be fied and knotted.
 Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
 Copyrighted Material
 seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
 ALLIGATORS
 How To WRESTLE FREE
 FROM AN ALLIGATOR
 If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
 downward pressure on its neck.
 This will force its head and jaws down.
 2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
 This will usually make it more sedate.
 5 feet
 10 fet
 15 feet
 20 feet
 3 Go for the eyes and nose.
 If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
 (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
 Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
 They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
 back off.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
 How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
 NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
 If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
 from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
 actions cause severe tissue damage.
 Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
 not begin shaking.
 Determine the size of the alligator.
 Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
 than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
 alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
 can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
 should be considered deadly.
 cut or bruise, to treat infection.
 Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
 Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
 Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
 If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
 Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
 water
 5 Make a loud noise.
 To get an alligator to release sometbing it
 bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
 Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
 ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
 move, however, you will have gained its attention.
 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
 the object.
 The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
 An alligator more than nine feet
 long is likely to be male, and males
 tend to be more aggressive.
 space.
 Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
 After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
 run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
 Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

 when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
 only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
 human.
 will travel
 Who Has the Most Bite?
 ANIMAL
 NUMBER OF TEETH
 WARNING!
 whale
 Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
 commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
 Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
 red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
 sharpest teeth in the world)
 You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
 The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
 Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
 in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
 Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
 young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
 youngster
 lion
 30: four canine, four carnassial,
 the rest conical
 human being
 32
 sloth bear
 40
 bear
 42, including four canines and
 12 incisors
 Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
 animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
 are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
 without provocation.
 saltwater crocodile
 68 to 70
 alligator
 80 to 88
 giant armadillo
 up to 100
 gavial (fish-eating
 crocodile)
 102
 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
 Approach the alligator from behind.
 longspouted spinner up to 252
 dolphin
 2 Straddle the creature's back
 Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
 alligator.
 up to 3,000 in five rows (the
 scariest mouth)
 great white shark
 3 Crawl your way up to the head.
 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
 structures called radulae)
 snail
 Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
 Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
 over the eyes of the beast.
 GClamp the jaws.
 Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
 gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
 Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
 mouth is tightly closed
 use to
 open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
 hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
 Z Take out your binding material.
 Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
 grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
 teeth
 Wrap the tape
 six times around
 the snout
 Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
 nout.
 WARNING!
 Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
 rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
 that can be fied and knotted.
 Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
 Copyrighted Material
 seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Crush, Final Boss, and Fucking: vigarath: ayriath: sensicalabsurdities: miatasenpai: island-delver-go: 8bitmickey: tanoraqui: threefeline: creepsandcrawlers: jelloapocalypse: dastardlypineapple: probablyottrpgideas: strangestquarkwave: professorsparklepants: vigarath: Size comparison of Y’gathok, the Ceaseless Hunger and Bjorn, our level 20 Goliath Barbarian. Hey quick question: why the FUCK do you have that Imagine, from out of nowhere, your dm casually slapping this thing down on the table like any other encounter. “Yeah, the fight will start in a sec, uh…I’ll give inspiration to whomever helps me get this fucking box out of my car.” https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/7asxci/oc_ygathok_the_ceaseless_hunger_final_boss_of_our/This is the reveal of this ridiculousness during their game Please watch this reveal video it’s kickass FUCK ME  the reveal video “CHRIS??????” “Um, I don’t think our plan is gonna work.” Always reblog Y'gathok DM:*Pulls out Y’gothok* *Turns on “Open Your Heart” by Crush 40* Wow that DM really goes above and beyond Reblogging Ygathok because it’s been one year since we fought him!!!! It just popped up on my timeline today! Happy one year anniversary, our precious Old God boi!!! One year ago today, this boy was revealed. And for you guys, I have great news: I have the stats of Y’gathok complete and a general design for “how to use him” done. However, an adventure guide is incoming to teach you how to integrate him into any of your worlds!
Crush, Final Boss, and Fucking: vigarath:

ayriath:

sensicalabsurdities:

miatasenpai:

island-delver-go:

8bitmickey:

tanoraqui:

threefeline:

creepsandcrawlers:

jelloapocalypse:

dastardlypineapple:

probablyottrpgideas:

strangestquarkwave:

professorsparklepants:

vigarath:
Size comparison of Y’gathok, the Ceaseless Hunger and Bjorn, our level 20 Goliath Barbarian.

Hey quick question: why the FUCK do you have that

Imagine, from out of nowhere, your dm casually slapping this thing down on the table like any other encounter.


“Yeah, the fight will start in a sec, uh…I’ll give inspiration to whomever helps me get this fucking box out of my car.”

https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/7asxci/oc_ygathok_the_ceaseless_hunger_final_boss_of_our/This is the reveal of this ridiculousness during their game

Please watch this reveal video it’s kickass

FUCK ME  the reveal video

“CHRIS??????” 


“Um, I don’t think our plan is gonna work.”


Always reblog Y'gathok

DM:*Pulls out Y’gothok* *Turns on “Open Your Heart” by Crush 40*


Wow that DM really goes above and beyond


Reblogging Ygathok because it’s been one year since we fought him!!!! It just popped up on my timeline today! 
Happy one year anniversary, our precious Old God boi!!!

One year ago today, this boy was revealed.
And for you guys, I have great news: I have the stats of Y’gathok complete and a general design for “how to use him” done. However, an adventure guide is incoming to teach you how to integrate him into any of your worlds!

vigarath: ayriath: sensicalabsurdities: miatasenpai: island-delver-go: 8bitmickey: tanoraqui: threefeline: creepsandcrawlers: jello...

Advice, Android, and Apple: creative writing MASTERPOST studysection: Hey guys! As a writer myself, it’s hard to have a lot of resources for writing in one place. That’s why I decided to create this masterpost, and maybe make more if I find future resources. I hope you like it, and expect to see more masterposts like this in the future! Generators Character Appearance Generator Archetypes Generator Character Generator Character Traits Generator Family Generator Job/Occupation Generator, (II) Love Interest Generator Motive Generator Name Generator Personality Generator, (II) Quick Character Generator Super Powers Generator Names Brand Name Generator Medicine Title Generator Name Generator Quick Name Generator Vehicle Generator Town Name Generator Plot First Encounter Generator First Line Generator, (II) Plot Generator, (II), (III) Plot Device Generator Plot Twist Generator Quick Plot Generator Setting/World-Building City Generator Fantasy Race Generator Laws Generator Pet Generator Setting Generator Species Generator Terrain Generator Prompts Subject Generator ”Take Three Nouns” Generator Word Prompt Generator Misc Color Generator Decision Generator Dialogue Generator Journey Generator Title Generator, (II), (III) Some Tips Just a few I found from the writing tips tag! Writing action / @berrybird How to create a strong voice in your writing / @collegerefs How to plot a complex novel in one day! / @lizard-is-writing 8 ways to get past writer’s block / @kiramartinauthor psa for writers / @dasakuryo ”Write Using Your 5 Senses” / @ambientwriting How People Watching Improves Your Writing / @wherethetransthingsare Writing Science Fiction: Tips for Beginners / @fictionwritingtips Creating Likeable Characters / @authors-haven Vocabulary Descriptive words / @somekindofstudent Words to replace “Said” / @msocasey Obscure color words / @mintsteelpeachlilac Words to spice up your stories / @busyibee Words to describe someone’s voice Words to Use Instead of Very / @gaybybirth Touchy Feely Words / @gaybybirth Some Advice Stephen King’s Top 20 Rules for Writers ”But my plot isn’t UNIQUE or BIG enough!” / @youreallwrite 8 Things Every Creative Should Know / @adamjk (How To) Get Over Comparing Yourself to Other Creatives / @adamjk How to Get Over Common Creative Fears (Maybe) / @adamjk 14 Tips From Stephen King On Writing / @i-can-give-you-prompts Playlists Electronic Thoughts / @eruditekid “Mix About Writing” An Instrumental Mix / @shadowofemirates Shut Up, I’m Writing! / @ninadropdead Chill / @endlessreveries Breathtaking Film Scores / @tweedskirts Music to Write to Vol. 1: Starlight / @crestadeen Music for Written Words / @ghoulpatch Dead Men Tell No Tales / @scamandersnewt Fatale / @dolcegf All These Things that I’ve Done / @referenceforwriters Feeling Soaking into Your Bones / @verylondon I Can Feel Your Pulse in the Pages / @rphelper Morally Ambiguous / @scamandersnewt Wonderwall / @wheelerwrites Pythia / @mazikeene Ballet: To Dance / @tanaquil Websites and Apps For Writing ZenPen: A minimalist writing website to keep you free of distractions and in the flow. The Most Dangerous Writing App: A website where you have to keep typing or all of your writing will be lost. It helps you keep writing…kind of. You can choose between a time or word count limit! Evernote: An online website where you can take notes and save the product to your laptop and/or smartphone! Writer, the Internet Typewriter: It’s just you and your writing, and you can save your product on the website if you create an account. Wordcounter: A website to help check your word and character count, and shows words you’re using frequently. Monospace: An Android app for writing on the go when you feel the inspiration, but you don’t have your laptop on you! For Productivity Tide: An app that combines a pomodoro-esque timer with nature sounds and other noises! (Google Play / Apple Store) ClearFocus: An Android app with a pomodoro-type time counter to let you concentrate easier and stay productive. Forest: An app with a time counter to keep you focused and off your phone, and when you complete the time limit, a tree grows in your garden! (Google Play / Apple Store) SelfControl: A Mac downloadable app that blocks you from distracting mail servers, websites, and other things! Prompt Blogs @writeworld @dialouge-prompts @oopsprompts @prompts-for-the-otp @creativepromptsforwriting @the-modern-typewriter @theprofessionalpromptmaker @writers-are-writers @otp-imagines-cult @witterprompts @havetobememes @auideas @putthepromptsonpaper @promptsonpaper @fyotpprompts @otpisms @soprompt @otpprompts @ablockforwritersblock @awritersnook Writing Tips Blogs @writeworld @anomalously-written @awritersnook @clevergirlhelps @referenceforwriters @whataboutwriting @thewritershelpers @nimblesnotebook @slitheringink
Advice, Android, and Apple: creative writing
 MASTERPOST
studysection:

Hey guys! As a writer myself, it’s hard to have a lot of resources for writing in one place. That’s why I decided to create this masterpost, and maybe make more if I find future resources. I hope you like it, and expect to see more masterposts like this in the future!
Generators
Character
Appearance Generator
Archetypes Generator

Character Generator

Character Traits Generator
Family Generator

Job/Occupation Generator, (II)

Love Interest Generator
Motive Generator
Name Generator

Personality Generator, (II)

Quick Character Generator
Super Powers Generator
Names
Brand Name Generator
Medicine Title Generator

Name Generator
Quick Name Generator
Vehicle Generator
Town Name Generator
Plot
First Encounter Generator

First Line Generator, (II)


Plot Generator, (II), (III)

Plot Device Generator
Plot Twist Generator
Quick Plot Generator
Setting/World-Building
City Generator
Fantasy Race Generator
Laws Generator
Pet Generator

Setting Generator
Species Generator
Terrain Generator
Prompts

Subject Generator
”Take Three Nouns” Generator
Word Prompt Generator
Misc
Color Generator
Decision Generator

Dialogue Generator
Journey Generator

Title Generator, (II), (III)
Some Tips
Just a few I found from the writing tips tag!

Writing action / @berrybird

How to create a strong voice in your writing / @collegerefs


How to plot a complex novel in one day! / @lizard-is-writing


8 ways to get past writer’s block / @kiramartinauthor


psa for writers / @dasakuryo

”Write Using Your 5 Senses” / @ambientwriting


How People Watching Improves Your Writing / @wherethetransthingsare


Writing Science Fiction: Tips for Beginners / @fictionwritingtips


Creating Likeable Characters / @authors-haven

Vocabulary

Descriptive words / @somekindofstudent


Words to replace “Said” / @msocasey


Obscure color words / @mintsteelpeachlilac


Words to spice up your stories / @busyibee

Words to describe someone’s voice

Words to Use Instead of Very / @gaybybirth


Touchy Feely Words / @gaybybirth

Some Advice
Stephen King’s Top 20 Rules for Writers

”But my plot isn’t UNIQUE or BIG enough!” / @youreallwrite

8 Things Every Creative Should Know / @adamjk


(How To) Get Over Comparing Yourself to Other Creatives / @adamjk


How to Get Over Common Creative Fears (Maybe) / @adamjk


14 Tips From Stephen King On Writing / @i-can-give-you-prompts
Playlists

Electronic Thoughts / @eruditekid

“Mix About Writing” An Instrumental Mix / @shadowofemirates

Shut Up, I’m Writing! / @ninadropdead

Chill / @endlessreveries


Breathtaking Film Scores / @tweedskirts


Music to Write to Vol. 1: Starlight / @crestadeen


Music for Written Words / @ghoulpatch


Dead Men Tell No Tales / @scamandersnewt


Fatale / @dolcegf


All These Things that I’ve Done / @referenceforwriters

Feeling Soaking into Your Bones / @verylondon


I Can Feel Your Pulse in the Pages / @rphelper

Morally Ambiguous / @scamandersnewt


Wonderwall / @wheelerwrites


Pythia / @mazikeene


Ballet: To Dance / @tanaquil
Websites and Apps
For Writing

ZenPen: A minimalist writing website to keep you free of distractions and in the flow.

The Most Dangerous Writing App: A website where you have to keep typing or all of your writing will be lost. It helps you keep writing…kind of. You can choose between a time or word count limit!

Evernote: An online website where you can take notes and save the product to your laptop and/or smartphone!

Writer, the Internet Typewriter: It’s just you and your writing, and you can save your product on the website if you create an account.

Wordcounter: A website to help check your word and character count, and shows words you’re using frequently.

Monospace: An Android app for writing on the go when you feel the inspiration, but you don’t have your laptop on you!
For Productivity
Tide: An app that combines a pomodoro-esque timer with nature sounds and other noises! (Google Play / Apple Store)

ClearFocus: An Android app with a pomodoro-type time counter to let you concentrate easier and stay productive.
Forest: An app with a time counter to keep you focused and off your phone, and when you complete the time limit, a tree grows in your garden! (Google Play / Apple Store)


SelfControl: A Mac downloadable app that blocks you from distracting mail servers, websites, and other things!
Prompt Blogs

@writeworld

@dialouge-prompts
@oopsprompts
@prompts-for-the-otp
@creativepromptsforwriting
@the-modern-typewriter
@theprofessionalpromptmaker
@writers-are-writers
@otp-imagines-cult
@witterprompts
@havetobememes
@auideas
@putthepromptsonpaper
@promptsonpaper
@fyotpprompts
@otpisms
@soprompt

@otpprompts

@ablockforwritersblock
@awritersnook
Writing Tips Blogs

@writeworld

@anomalously-written
@awritersnook
@clevergirlhelps
@referenceforwriters
@whataboutwriting
@thewritershelpers
@nimblesnotebook
@slitheringink

studysection: Hey guys! As a writer myself, it’s hard to have a lot of resources for writing in one place. That’s why I decided to create t...

Tiger, Amazing, and Zebra: Amazing encounter of a Tiger attacking a Zebra
Tiger, Amazing, and Zebra: Amazing encounter of a Tiger attacking a Zebra

Amazing encounter of a Tiger attacking a Zebra

Animals, Confused, and Fuck You: saintcucumbers Can someone please tell me what it means when an owl LITERALLY fucking swims towards you and then stares you down?? Like look at it?? Literally flew past me and my my friend, it was so close that the wings touched our faces. shiraglassman It's reminding you to do your Duolingo practice demonladytakkuri The real answer is that it really wants you to go away That's a fledgling great horned owl, they're known for being generally ballsy and aggressive, and owls have been known to both climb trees and swim through still water in a pinch Most likely full scenario: the bird was practicing flying, but it fell because it's still a kid and they do that. It probably fell in/by the water. It then was like Oh Damn Oh Jesus and decided it was not in fact a duck and headed to you, and was utterly offended but confused on what to do. So it decided to Square Up and face you like the hellbeast it is. The pose it's taking in the pic is one I affectionately call Full Orb. A fully orbed owl is 100% READY to FIGHT 1v1 no items final destination. You were probably its first up close encounter with a human, and since birds tend to associate larger animals with predators, it tried to make itself look as big as possible to make sure you know what's up. It was staring you down because it was waiting to see you make the first move in the dual or flee in fear from its superior owl might. timatisblog This reply made this post ette karmacharmeleon18 me: oh hello little owl owl: i will fuck you up aterrasilvershade Owl: I am lorge! Get spooked! Questionable owl encounters
Animals, Confused, and Fuck You: saintcucumbers
 Can someone please tell me what it means
 when an owl LITERALLY fucking swims
 towards you and then stares you down??
 Like look at it?? Literally flew past me and my
 my friend, it was so close that the wings
 touched our faces.
 shiraglassman
 It's reminding you to do your Duolingo practice
 demonladytakkuri
 The real answer is that it really wants you to go
 away
 That's a fledgling great horned owl, they're
 known for being generally ballsy and
 aggressive, and owls have been known to both
 climb trees and swim through still water in a
 pinch
 Most likely full scenario: the bird was practicing
 flying, but it fell because it's still a kid and they
 do that. It probably fell in/by the water. It then
 was like Oh Damn Oh Jesus and decided it was
 not in fact a duck and headed to
 you, and was utterly offended but confused on
 what to do. So it decided to Square Up and face
 you like the hellbeast it is.
 The pose it's taking in the pic is one I
 affectionately call Full Orb. A fully orbed owl is
 100% READY to FIGHT 1v1 no items final
 destination. You were probably its first up close
 encounter with a human, and since birds tend
 to associate larger animals with predators, it
 tried to make itself look as big as possible to
 make sure you know what's up. It was staring
 you down because it was waiting to see you
 make the first move in the dual or flee in fear
 from its superior owl might.
 timatisblog
 This reply made this post
 ette
 karmacharmeleon18
 me: oh hello little owl
 owl: i will fuck you up
 aterrasilvershade
 Owl: I am lorge! Get spooked!
Questionable owl encounters

Questionable owl encounters

God, Monster, and Movies: INTERNATIONAL INTERNATIONAL SAN DIEGO AN DIE ECON CONCON CON INTERNA INTER INTERNATIONAL 1N DIEG0 OIEGO SAN DIEGO CON OUG NO CON DIEGO CON INTERNATIONAL ONAL INTERNATIONAL IN E WATIONAL TERNATIONA SAN DIEGO CON SAN OIEG0 0 93 eONCON CO SAN OIEG N OIEG CO INTERNATIO COMICE CO OM feministscoundrel: This photo means a lot to me. And I’ll tell you why.  Natalie Portman, as we know, was shut out of Marvel. She chose not to sign any new contract not just because of the way her character was treated (though there is that) but because Thor: The Dark World was slated to be the first Marvel movie directed by a woman, her friend (and eventual Wonder Woman director) Patty Jenkins. Portman hadn’t planned on being in The Dark World, but lept at the chance to be a part of feminist history and to be directed in what would have beenJenkin’s first film since her 2003 Oscar-winning Monster. Portman signed a new contract with Marvel. They fired Jenkins soon after. Portman was crushed because she essentially had been duped into a contract for a film that would keep her away from her young son and force her back into a one-dimensional role under yet another male director. And we all remember how awful that movie was.  When it came time for the third Thor movie, they tried to get Portman under contract again. And she said no. Marvel decided to spin the story to make it seem like it was all their idea. At first, they went for the lame and nonsensical:  When Marvel Studios President Kevin Feige was asked about why she wouldn’t be in the third film, and said there were “many reasons, many of which are in the film, so you will see that” continuing with “There are only a couple of scenes on Earth in this movie. The majority, 95 percent of the movie, takes place in the cosmos.” (x) Seeing as The Dark World also took place in space, this answer didn’t have a lot of credibility. When Portman said she was “done” with the Marvel Universe, Feige got vicious in interviews, telling reporters that Valkyrie was in Ragnorak to be better than Jane Foster and a better match for Thor.  “We wanted Thor to encounter somebody that was near his equal and that his relationship with Jane may have evolved in unexpected ways in between The Dark World and Ragnarok, and we wanted to pit him against a character who was much more his equal and in many ways his superior.” (x) Feige implies that A) Valkyrie was in Ragnorak just to be a romantic interest for Thor, B) Valkyrie is better and more powerful than Jane Foster, and C) Jane Foster was always Thor’s inferior.  What’s ridiculous is that Ragnorak had a “sorry Jane dumped you” throwaway line to explain Portman’s absence. And instead of saying that Jane and Thor broke up in interviews, a line that does not spoil literally anything about the film, Feige chose to attack Jane’s strength and capability, which would have been a very special dig at Portman.  Do you want to know what none of this sounds like? Taika Waititi’s opinion. Waititi is a master storyteller who does not sacrifice his feminist views for laughs. You can bet that Feige’s ridiculous slams on Portman and her character Jane– disguised as “promotion” for WAITITI’S FILM– would have troubled him immensely. This is a man with a Māori father, who had to use his mother’s maiden name– Cohen– for earlier work because an indigenous last name kept him away from opportunity. This man does NOT fuck around with entertainment that gets its power off of sexism and inequality. He knows from experience just how infuriating it is when it comes to directors missing out on opportunities because they aren’t a white man.  So how does he fix this? How does he fix the idea that Jane Foster can’t go to space, or that she’s not powerful enough for Thor, the god of thunder?  He makes her Thor.  Waititi saw Portman / Jane Foster’s name dragged through the mud by Kevin Feige in order to promote his movie, and when he got hired to direct again, he decided to right those wrongs. This picture means everything. He is on his knee, handing her Thor’s hammer, essentially saying, you will never have to go through that shit with me. With me, you’re a god. And the expression on her face, after Marvel attempted to break her, doesn’t need words.  What a photo. What a film. What a man. 
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feministscoundrel:

This photo means a lot to me. And I’ll tell you why. 
Natalie Portman, as we know, was shut out of Marvel. She chose not to sign any new contract not just because of the way her character was treated (though there is that) but because Thor: The Dark World was slated to be the first Marvel movie directed by a woman, her friend (and eventual Wonder Woman director) Patty Jenkins. Portman hadn’t planned on being in The Dark World, but lept at the chance to be a part of feminist history and to be directed in what would have beenJenkin’s first film since her 2003 Oscar-winning Monster. Portman signed a new contract with Marvel. They fired Jenkins soon after. Portman was crushed because she essentially had been duped into a contract for a film that would keep her away from her young son and force her back into a one-dimensional role under yet another male director. And we all remember how awful that movie was. 
When it came time for the third Thor movie, they tried to get Portman under contract again. And she said no. Marvel decided to spin the story to make it seem like it was all their idea. At first, they went for the lame and nonsensical: 
When Marvel Studios President Kevin Feige was asked about why she wouldn’t be in the third film, and said there were “many reasons, many of which are in the film, so you will see that” continuing with “There are only a couple of scenes on Earth in this movie. The majority, 95 percent of the movie, takes place in the cosmos.” (x)
Seeing as The Dark World also took place in space, this answer didn’t have a lot of credibility. When Portman said she was “done” with the Marvel Universe, Feige got vicious in interviews, telling reporters that Valkyrie was in Ragnorak to be better than Jane Foster and a better match for Thor. 
“We wanted Thor to encounter somebody that was near his equal and that his relationship with Jane may have evolved in unexpected ways in between The Dark World and Ragnarok, and we wanted to pit him against a character who was much more his equal and in many ways his superior.” (x)
Feige implies that A) Valkyrie was in Ragnorak just to be a romantic interest for Thor, B) Valkyrie is better and more powerful than Jane Foster, and C) Jane Foster was always Thor’s inferior. 
What’s ridiculous is that Ragnorak had a “sorry Jane dumped you” throwaway line to explain Portman’s absence. And instead of saying that Jane and Thor broke up in interviews, a line that does not spoil literally anything about the film, Feige chose to attack Jane’s strength and capability, which would have been a very special dig at Portman. 
Do you want to know what none of this sounds like? Taika Waititi’s opinion. Waititi is a master storyteller who does not sacrifice his feminist views for laughs. You can bet that Feige’s ridiculous slams on Portman and her character Jane– disguised as “promotion” for WAITITI’S FILM– would have troubled him immensely. This is a man with a Māori father, who had to use his mother’s maiden name– Cohen– for earlier work because an indigenous last name kept him away from opportunity. This man does NOT fuck around with entertainment that gets its power off of sexism and inequality. He knows from experience just how infuriating it is when it comes to directors missing out on opportunities because they aren’t a white man. 
So how does he fix this? How does he fix the idea that Jane Foster can’t go to space, or that she’s not powerful enough for Thor, the god of thunder? 
He makes her Thor. 
Waititi saw Portman / Jane Foster’s name dragged through the mud by Kevin Feige in order to promote his movie, and when he got hired to direct again, he decided to right those wrongs. This picture means everything. He is on his knee, handing her Thor’s hammer, essentially saying, you will never have to go through that shit with me. With me, you’re a god. And the expression on her face, after Marvel attempted to break her, doesn’t need words. 
What a photo. What a film. What a man. 

feministscoundrel: This photo means a lot to me. And I’ll tell you why.  Natalie Portman, as we know, was shut out of Marvel. She chose not...

Gif, God, and Monster: INTERNATIONAL INTERNATIONAL SAN DIEGO AN DIE ECON CONCON CON INTERNA INTER INTERNATIONAL 1N DIEG0 OIEGO SAN DIEGO CON OUG NO CON DIEGO CON INTERNATIONAL ONAL INTERNATIONAL IN E WATIONAL TERNATIONA SAN DIEGO CON SAN OIEG0 0 93 eONCON CO SAN OIEG N OIEG CO INTERNATIO COMICE CO OM ebonyheartnet: jewishdragon: feministscoundrel: This photo means a lot to me. And I’ll tell you why.  Natalie Portman, as we know, was shut out of Marvel. She chose not to sign any new contract not just because of the way her character was treated (though there is that) but because Thor: The Dark World was slated to be the first Marvel movie directed by a woman, her friend (and eventual Wonder Woman director) Patty Jenkins. Portman hadn’t planned on being in The Dark World, but lept at the chance to be a part of feminist history and to be directed in what would have beenJenkin’s first film since her 2003 Oscar-winning Monster. Portman signed a new contract with Marvel. They fired Jenkins soon after. Portman was crushed because she essentially had been duped into a contract for a film that would keep her away from her young son and force her back into a one-dimensional role under yet another male director. And we all remember how awful that movie was.  When it came time for the third Thor movie, they tried to get Portman under contract again. And she said no. Marvel decided to spin the story to make it seem like it was all their idea. At first, they went for the lame and nonsensical:  When Marvel Studios President Kevin Feige was asked about why she wouldn’t be in the third film, and said there were “many reasons, many of which are in the film, so you will see that” continuing with “There are only a couple of scenes on Earth in this movie. The majority, 95 percent of the movie, takes place in the cosmos.” (x) Seeing as The Dark World also took place in space, this answer didn’t have a lot of credibility. When Portman said she was “done” with the Marvel Universe, Feige got vicious in interviews, telling reporters that Valkyrie was in Ragnorak to be better than Jane Foster and a better match for Thor.  “We wanted Thor to encounter somebody that was near his equal and that his relationship with Jane may have evolved in unexpected ways in between The Dark World and Ragnarok, and we wanted to pit him against a character who was much more his equal and in many ways his superior.” (x) Feige implies that A) Valkyrie was in Ragnorak to be a romantic interest for Thor, B) Valkyrie is better and more powerful than Jane Foster, and C) Jane Foster was always Thor’s inferior.  What’s ridiculous is that Ragnorak had a “sorry Jane dumped you” throwaway line to explain Portman’s absence. And instead of saying that Jane and Thor broke up in interviews, a line that does not spoil literally anything about the film, Feige chose to attack Jane’s strength and capability, which would have been a very special dig at Portman.  Do you want to know what none of this sounds like? Taika Waititi’s opinion. Waititi is a master storyteller who does not sacrifice his feminist views for laughs. You can bet that Feige’s ridiculous slams on Portman and her character Jane– disguised as “promotion” for WAITITI’S FILM– would have troubled him immensely. This is a man with a Māori father, who had to use his mother’s maiden name– Cohen– for earlier work because an indigenous last name kept him away from opportunity. This man does NOT fuck around with entertainment that gets its power off of sexism and inequality. He knows from experience just how infuriating it is when it comes to directors missing out on opportunities because they aren’t a white man.  So how does he fix this? How does he fix the idea that Jane Foster can’t go to space, or that she’s not powerful enough for Thor, the god of thunder?  He makes her Thor.  Waititi saw Portman / Jane Foster’s name dragged through the mud by Kevin Feige in order to promote his movie, and when he got hired to direct again, he decided to right those wrongs. This picture means everything. He is on his knee, handing her Thor’s hammer, essentially saying, you will never have to go through that shit with me. With me, you’re a god. And the expression on her face, after Marvel attempted to break her, doesn’t need words.  What a photo. What a film. What a man.  Wiatiti And Portman are also BOTH jewish! Jews lifting up Jews!
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ebonyheartnet:
jewishdragon:

feministscoundrel:

This photo means a lot to me. And I’ll tell you why. 
Natalie Portman, as we know, was shut out of Marvel. She chose not to sign any new contract not just because of the way her character was treated (though there is that) but because Thor: The Dark World was slated to be the first Marvel movie directed by a woman, her friend (and eventual Wonder Woman director) Patty Jenkins. Portman hadn’t planned on being in The Dark World, but lept at the chance to be a part of feminist history and to be directed in what would have beenJenkin’s first film since her 2003 Oscar-winning Monster. Portman signed a new contract with Marvel. They fired Jenkins soon after. Portman was crushed because she essentially had been duped into a contract for a film that would keep her away from her young son and force her back into a one-dimensional role under yet another male director. And we all remember how awful that movie was. 
When it came time for the third Thor movie, they tried to get Portman under contract again. And she said no. Marvel decided to spin the story to make it seem like it was all their idea. At first, they went for the lame and nonsensical: 
When Marvel Studios President Kevin Feige was asked about why she wouldn’t be in the third film, and said there were “many reasons, many of which are in the film, so you will see that” continuing with “There are only a couple of scenes on Earth in this movie. The majority, 95 percent of the movie, takes place in the cosmos.” (x)
Seeing as The Dark World also took place in space, this answer didn’t have a lot of credibility. When Portman said she was “done” with the Marvel Universe, Feige got vicious in interviews, telling reporters that Valkyrie was in Ragnorak to be better than Jane Foster and a better match for Thor. 
“We wanted Thor to encounter somebody that was near his equal and that his relationship with Jane may have evolved in unexpected ways in between The Dark World and Ragnarok, and we wanted to pit him against a character who was much more his equal and in many ways his superior.” (x)
Feige implies that A) Valkyrie was in Ragnorak to be a romantic interest for Thor, B) Valkyrie is better and more powerful than Jane Foster, and C) Jane Foster was always Thor’s inferior. 
What’s ridiculous is that Ragnorak had a “sorry Jane dumped you” throwaway line to explain Portman’s absence. And instead of saying that Jane and Thor broke up in interviews, a line that does not spoil literally anything about the film, Feige chose to attack Jane’s strength and capability, which would have been a very special dig at Portman. 
Do you want to know what none of this sounds like? Taika Waititi’s opinion. Waititi is a master storyteller who does not sacrifice his feminist views for laughs. You can bet that Feige’s ridiculous slams on Portman and her character Jane– disguised as “promotion” for WAITITI’S FILM– would have troubled him immensely. This is a man with a Māori father, who had to use his mother’s maiden name– Cohen– for earlier work because an indigenous last name kept him away from opportunity. This man does NOT fuck around with entertainment that gets its power off of sexism and inequality. He knows from experience just how infuriating it is when it comes to directors missing out on opportunities because they aren’t a white man. 
So how does he fix this? How does he fix the idea that Jane Foster can’t go to space, or that she’s not powerful enough for Thor, the god of thunder? 
He makes her Thor. 
Waititi saw Portman / Jane Foster’s name dragged through the mud by Kevin Feige in order to promote his movie, and when he got hired to direct again, he decided to right those wrongs. This picture means everything. He is on his knee, handing her Thor’s hammer, essentially saying, you will never have to go through that shit with me. With me, you’re a god. And the expression on her face, after Marvel attempted to break her, doesn’t need words. 
What a photo. What a film. What a man. 


Wiatiti And Portman are also BOTH jewish! Jews lifting up Jews!

ebonyheartnet: jewishdragon: feministscoundrel: This photo means a lot to me. And I’ll tell you why.  Natalie Portman, as we know, was shu...

God, Monster, and Movies: INTERNATIONAL INTERNATIONAL SAN DIEGO AN DIE ECON CONCON CON INTERNA INTER INTERNATIONAL 1N DIEG0 OIEGO SAN DIEGO CON OUG NO CON DIEGO CON INTERNATIONAL ONAL INTERNATIONAL IN E WATIONAL TERNATIONA SAN DIEGO CON SAN OIEG0 0 93 eONCON CO SAN OIEG N OIEG CO INTERNATIO COMICE CO OM feministscoundrel: This photo means a lot to me. And I’ll tell you why.  Natalie Portman, as we know, was shut out of Marvel. She chose not to sign any new contract not just because of the way her character was treated (though there is that) but because Thor: The Dark World was slated to be the first Marvel movie directed by a woman, her friend (and eventual Wonder Woman director) Patty Jenkins. Portman hadn’t planned on being in The Dark World, but lept at the chance to be a part of feminist history and to be directed in what would have beenJenkin’s first film since her 2003 Oscar-winning Monster. Portman signed a new contract with Marvel. They fired Jenkins soon after. Portman was crushed because she essentially had been duped into a contract for a film that would keep her away from her young son and force her back into a one-dimensional role under yet another male director. And we all remember how awful that movie was.  When it came time for the third Thor movie, they tried to get Portman under contract again. And she said no. Marvel decided to spin the story to make it seem like it was all their idea. At first, they went for the lame and nonsensical:  When Marvel Studios President Kevin Feige was asked about why she wouldn’t be in the third film, and said there were “many reasons, many of which are in the film, so you will see that” continuing with “There are only a couple of scenes on Earth in this movie. The majority, 95 percent of the movie, takes place in the cosmos.” (x) Seeing as The Dark World also took place in space, this answer didn’t have a lot of credibility. When Portman said she was “done” with the Marvel Universe, Feige got vicious in interviews, telling reporters that Valkyrie was in Ragnorak to be better than Jane Foster and a better match for Thor.  “We wanted Thor to encounter somebody that was near his equal and that his relationship with Jane may have evolved in unexpected ways in between The Dark World and Ragnarok, and we wanted to pit him against a character who was much more his equal and in many ways his superior.” (x) Feige implies that A) Valkyrie was in Ragnorak to be a romantic interest for Thor, B) Valkyrie is better and more powerful than Jane Foster, and C) Jane Foster was always Thor’s inferior.  What’s ridiculous is that Ragnorak had a “sorry Jane dumped you” throwaway line to explain Portman’s absence. And instead of saying that Jane and Thor broke up in interviews, a line that does not spoil literally anything about the film, Feige chose to attack Jane’s strength and capability, which would have been a very special dig at Portman.  Do you want to know what none of this sounds like? Taika Waititi’s opinion. Waititi is a master storyteller who does not sacrifice his feminist views for laughs. You can bet that Feige’s ridiculous slams on Portman and her character Jane– disguised as “promotion” for WAITITI’S FILM– would have troubled him immensely. This is a man with a Māori father, who had to use his mother’s maiden name– Cohen– for earlier work because an indigenous last name kept him away from opportunity. This man does NOT fuck around with entertainment that gets its power off of sexism and inequality. He knows from experience just how infuriating it is when it comes to directors missing out on opportunities because they aren’t a white man.  So how does he fix this? How does he fix the idea that Jane Foster can’t go to space, or that she’s not powerful enough for Thor, the god of thunder?  He makes her Thor.  Waititi saw Portman / Jane Foster’s name dragged through the mud by Kevin Feige in order to promote his movie, and when he got hired to direct again, he decided to right those wrongs. This picture means everything. He is on his knee, handing her Thor’s hammer, essentially saying, you will never have to go through that shit with me. With me, you’re a god. And the expression on her face, after Marvel attempted to break her, doesn’t need words.  What a photo. What a film. What a man. 
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feministscoundrel:
This photo means a lot to me. And I’ll tell you why. 
Natalie Portman, as we know, was shut out of Marvel. She chose not to sign any new contract not just because of the way her character was treated (though there is that) but because Thor: The Dark World was slated to be the first Marvel movie directed by a woman, her friend (and eventual Wonder Woman director) Patty Jenkins. Portman hadn’t planned on being in The Dark World, but lept at the chance to be a part of feminist history and to be directed in what would have beenJenkin’s first film since her 2003 Oscar-winning Monster. Portman signed a new contract with Marvel. They fired Jenkins soon after. Portman was crushed because she essentially had been duped into a contract for a film that would keep her away from her young son and force her back into a one-dimensional role under yet another male director. And we all remember how awful that movie was. 
When it came time for the third Thor movie, they tried to get Portman under contract again. And she said no. Marvel decided to spin the story to make it seem like it was all their idea. At first, they went for the lame and nonsensical: 
When Marvel Studios President Kevin Feige was asked about why she wouldn’t be in the third film, and said there were “many reasons, many of which are in the film, so you will see that” continuing with “There are only a couple of scenes on Earth in this movie. The majority, 95 percent of the movie, takes place in the cosmos.” (x)
Seeing as The Dark World also took place in space, this answer didn’t have a lot of credibility. When Portman said she was “done” with the Marvel Universe, Feige got vicious in interviews, telling reporters that Valkyrie was in Ragnorak to be better than Jane Foster and a better match for Thor. 
“We wanted Thor to encounter somebody that was near his equal and that his relationship with Jane may have evolved in unexpected ways in between The Dark World and Ragnarok, and we wanted to pit him against a character who was much more his equal and in many ways his superior.” (x)
Feige implies that A) Valkyrie was in Ragnorak to be a romantic interest for Thor, B) Valkyrie is better and more powerful than Jane Foster, and C) Jane Foster was always Thor’s inferior. 
What’s ridiculous is that Ragnorak had a “sorry Jane dumped you” throwaway line to explain Portman’s absence. And instead of saying that Jane and Thor broke up in interviews, a line that does not spoil literally anything about the film, Feige chose to attack Jane’s strength and capability, which would have been a very special dig at Portman. 
Do you want to know what none of this sounds like? Taika Waititi’s opinion. Waititi is a master storyteller who does not sacrifice his feminist views for laughs. You can bet that Feige’s ridiculous slams on Portman and her character Jane– disguised as “promotion” for WAITITI’S FILM– would have troubled him immensely. This is a man with a Māori father, who had to use his mother’s maiden name– Cohen– for earlier work because an indigenous last name kept him away from opportunity. This man does NOT fuck around with entertainment that gets its power off of sexism and inequality. He knows from experience just how infuriating it is when it comes to directors missing out on opportunities because they aren’t a white man. 
So how does he fix this? How does he fix the idea that Jane Foster can’t go to space, or that she’s not powerful enough for Thor, the god of thunder? 
He makes her Thor. 
Waititi saw Portman / Jane Foster’s name dragged through the mud by Kevin Feige in order to promote his movie, and when he got hired to direct again, he decided to right those wrongs. This picture means everything. He is on his knee, handing her Thor’s hammer, essentially saying, you will never have to go through that shit with me. With me, you’re a god. And the expression on her face, after Marvel attempted to break her, doesn’t need words. 
What a photo. What a film. What a man. 

feministscoundrel: This photo means a lot to me. And I’ll tell you why.  Natalie Portman, as we know, was shut out of Marvel. She chose not ...

Bitch, Friends, and Fucking: Trade Pokmon Auricular Nintendo DS and secrets with your friends! Trade you my WeaVile Cor MUnChla ays some nintendo Wi-Fi MunChlax is pretty hot.. fry again. Go to NintendoWiFi.comm to get started! Selection may vary at retail. Games, system, and headset sold separately. Pokéde tabaquis-barking: kiyotakamine: kiyotakamine: munchlax is pretty hot happy 10 year anniversary of munchlax being pretty hot Actually know what reblogging again bc the girl with the white ds knows what the FUCK is up and pink girl is either a dumbass or a scammer. In DPP (Diamond/Pearl/Platinum) sneasel shows up on five different routes, and then evolves into weavile when leveled with a razor claw at night. Razor claws aren’t hard to find either, so while there’s minimal effort involved here, weavile isn’t really special. Munchlax, though? Jesus fuck. Jesus fucking christ. Munchlax in DPP is one of the most difficult Pokémon in ANY of the games—if not the absolute most difficult. DPP has a mechanic where you could slather honey on certain trees, and six hours later a Pokémon would turn up on the tree. Several of the Pokémon you could get this way were common, but some could ONLY be obtained from honey trees. You couldn’t change the DS system’s time to speed things up, because the trees ran on their own counter—so you HAD to wait six hours for a Pokémon to show up. It gets worse. There were 21 of these honey trees in the game, and regardless of the tree’s location, and tree could summon any of the “honey tree Pokémon…” Except. Fucking. Munchlax. Only FOUR trees in the game had the potential to summon Munchlax. Which trees, you ask? Guess. No, literally, take a fucking guess—because the four trees that can summon Munchlax are decided at random based on your trainer ID and secret ID. There is NO way to determine which trees they are unless you feel like hacking into your game’s data and then doing some weird complicated math. That’s not all. You thought that was all? You thought Munchlax was a merciful god that would take pity on your tiny, pathetic body? Oh no. Not even close. Munchlax isn’t done with you yet, Munchlax is going to peel you like a fucking mango and laugh while you cry. Munchlax only has a 1% encounter rate. ONE. PERCENT. As in 1/100. So to recap—4/21 honey trees (and you don’t know which ones) have a 1% chance of summoning this little motherfucker once every six hours. That’s it. No fast tracking, no cheats, and no workarounds. Munchlax in DPP is the holy grail of hard to find Pokémon. And pinky here has the AUDACITY to offer the MUCH more easily obtainable weavile for it. Fuck that. Fuck that!!! White DS girl knows what the FUCK is up!!! In conclusion; Munchlax is pretty hot… Try again. Bitch.
Bitch, Friends, and Fucking: Trade Pokmon
 Auricular Nintendo DS
 and secrets
 with your
 friends!
 Trade you my
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 Cor
 MUnChla
 ays some
 nintendo
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 MunChlax
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 fry again.
 Go to
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 Selection may vary at retail. Games, system, and headset sold separately.
 Pokéde
tabaquis-barking:
kiyotakamine:

kiyotakamine:
munchlax is pretty hot
happy 10 year anniversary of munchlax being pretty hot

Actually know what reblogging again bc the girl with the white ds knows what the FUCK is up and pink girl is either a dumbass or a scammer. 
In DPP (Diamond/Pearl/Platinum) sneasel shows up on five different routes, and then evolves into weavile when leveled with a razor claw at night. Razor claws aren’t hard to find either, so while there’s minimal effort involved here, weavile isn’t really special.
Munchlax, though? Jesus fuck. Jesus fucking christ. Munchlax in DPP is one of the most difficult Pokémon in ANY of the games—if not the absolute most difficult. DPP has a mechanic where you could slather honey on certain trees, and six hours later a Pokémon would turn up on the tree. Several of the Pokémon you could get this way were common, but some could ONLY be obtained from honey trees. You couldn’t change the DS system’s time to speed things up, because the trees ran on their own counter—so you HAD to wait six hours for a Pokémon to show up.
It gets worse. There were 21 of these honey trees in the game, and regardless of the tree’s location, and tree could summon any of the “honey tree Pokémon…”
Except. Fucking. Munchlax.
Only FOUR trees in the game had the potential to summon Munchlax. Which trees, you ask? Guess. No, literally, take a fucking guess—because the four trees that can summon Munchlax are decided at random based on your trainer ID and secret ID. There is NO way to determine which trees they are unless you feel like hacking into your game’s data and then doing some weird complicated math.
That’s not all. You thought that was all? You thought Munchlax was a merciful god that would take pity on your tiny, pathetic body? Oh no. Not even close. Munchlax isn’t done with you yet, Munchlax is going to peel you like a fucking mango and laugh while you cry. 
Munchlax only has a 1% encounter rate. 
ONE. PERCENT. As in 1/100. 
So to recap—4/21 honey trees (and you don’t know which ones) have a 1% chance of summoning this little motherfucker once every six hours. That’s it. No fast tracking, no cheats, and no workarounds. Munchlax in DPP is the holy grail of hard to find Pokémon.
And pinky here has the AUDACITY to offer the MUCH more easily obtainable weavile for it. Fuck that. Fuck that!!! White DS girl knows what the FUCK is up!!!
In conclusion;
Munchlax is pretty hot… Try again.

Bitch.

tabaquis-barking: kiyotakamine: kiyotakamine: munchlax is pretty hot happy 10 year anniversary of munchlax being pretty hot Actually know ...

My Way, Web, and Development: JS 5 My way of solving every issue I encounter during web development
My Way, Web, and Development: JS
 5
My way of solving every issue I encounter during web development

My way of solving every issue I encounter during web development