Ends
Ends

Ends

Toilet Seat Up
Toilet Seat Up

Toilet Seat Up

Toilet Seat
Toilet Seat

Toilet Seat

When
When

When

Golfing
Golfing

Golfing

And
And

And

Dranking
Dranking

Dranking

Oh Look
Oh Look

Oh Look

prize
 prize

prize

so much
 so much

so much

🔥 | Latest

Animals, Bones, and Church: teaboot The amount of times I could have been that white girl in the horror movie could honestly be a movie in itself and it's honestly a waste that my entire life isn't constantly recorded on film because it would be HILARIOUS teaboot 1. That one time I decided to see what was past the old gate in the woods, but when got there it had been smashed in half and there was a decapitated sheep head with no skin just off the trail, so instead I just turned around and went home. 2. That time some friends and I went camping and we found a pile of bones wrapped in a garbage bag buried under a log, but the adult supervisor told us it was nothing, so we just put it back and didn't talk about it again. 3. The time I was getting chased through the woods at night and I realized "wait it's dark as fuck so I just held still until the guy gave up and left. . The time this dude said he was in love with me and so he was going to cut my head off and dump my body in a lake, so l told him to grow the hell up, but then he got caught stealing girl's underwear a day later andI never saw him again 5. That one time in college where I was taking a shortcut on my home at night and a car followed me into a dark alley, so I stared directly into the driver's side of the window and walked towards it to psych them out 6. The night I was out on a walk and this old guy told me he'd locked his keys in his truck and that he needed someone my size to crawl in through the back window for him, so I told him you know that sounds super suspicious right and told him where to find a pay phone for a tow truck instead 7. The one time this random guy on the street said he was in love with me and so he was going to follow me home on my bus, so l clapped him on the shoulder and told him that if he got that close to my bus then I was going to throw him under the wheels, but then this really nice homeless man from Nigeria told the guy to fuck off and then checked to make sure he didn't follow me onboard 8. That big cat with yellow eyes who I found in a well and brought home who used to put rotting meat in my closet and wake me up by chewing on my face, until I put him back outside and never saw him again. 9. My one cousin who used to come over for the summer who kept calling me 'piñata and hitting me with sticks, until he went back home and was sent to juvie c got caught torturing animals cause he finally 10. The time I got lost on the way to a meeting and wound up at a circus tent instead, and got followed by a full-out clown for three vacant street blocks 11. The pet hamster I had when I was seven who would scream all night and eventually es- caped by ripping a bar out of its cage and wig- gling through the hole. My mom caught it and put it back but it lved another year and a half until one night the screaming just stopped 12. The time I was whistling in the woods and something started whistling back, so I went home 13. That one night at summer camp where a group of girls got together to play 'bloody mary in the lavatory and invited me to come with them so I said "no thanks" and stayed with the camp councillors and drank soup instead. 14. The old abandoned house I just moved into with the door that leads into a big empty room full of dirt and empty cooking pots that I just sort of... locked up forever and never gon ear 15. Once when I was at an ihop I saw a coffee mug do a full 360° spin with nobody touching it, so I said 'that was neat' and never ate there again 16. The time I took a photo of a big old raven sitting on the crucifix on top of the old town church cause it was the most goth thing l'd ever seen, right? But then it swooped down towards me, so I apologized immediately for being rude, and I felt a little silly for a while but the car that hit me on the way home didn't even leave a bruise so idk be nice to birds teaboot Sorry I know I bring this shit up a lot but sometimes im awake at night and I just. keep thinking teaboot I think the secret to survival is to be good to animals, stay away from men, and say "no elsean Source: teaboot 205.063 notes Teaboots Adventures As That White Girl in Horror Movies
Animals, Bones, and Church: teaboot
 The amount of times I could have been that
 white girl in the horror movie could honestly
 be a movie in itself and it's honestly a waste
 that my entire life isn't constantly recorded on
 film because it would be HILARIOUS
 teaboot
 1. That one time I decided to see what was
 past the old gate in the woods, but when
 got there it had been smashed in half and
 there was a decapitated sheep head with no
 skin just off the trail, so instead I just turned
 around and went home.
 2. That time some friends and I went camping
 and we found a pile of bones wrapped in a
 garbage bag buried under a log, but the adult
 supervisor told us it was nothing, so we just
 put it back and didn't talk about it again.
 3. The time I was getting chased through
 the woods at night and I realized "wait it's
 dark as fuck so I just held still until the guy
 gave up and left.
 . The time this dude said he was in love with
 me and so he was going to cut my head off
 and dump my body in a lake, so l told him
 to grow the hell up, but then he got caught
 stealing girl's underwear a day later andI
 never saw him again
 5. That one time in college where I was
 taking a shortcut on my home at night and a
 car followed me into a dark alley, so I stared
 directly into the driver's side of the window
 and walked towards it to psych them out
 6. The night I was out on a walk and this old
 guy told me he'd locked his keys in his truck
 and that he needed someone my size to crawl
 in through the back window for him, so I told
 him you know that sounds super suspicious
 right and told him where to find a pay phone
 for a tow truck instead
 7. The one time this random guy on the street
 said he was in love with me and so he was
 going to follow me home on my bus, so l
 clapped him on the shoulder and told him that
 if he got that close to my bus then I was going
 to throw him under the wheels, but then this
 really nice homeless man from Nigeria told
 the guy to fuck off and then checked to make
 sure he didn't follow me onboard
 8. That big cat with yellow eyes who I found
 in a well and brought home who used to put
 rotting meat in my closet and wake me up
 by chewing on my face, until I put him back
 outside and never saw him again.
 9. My one cousin who used to come over
 for the summer who kept calling me 'piñata
 and hitting me with sticks, until he went back
 home and was sent to juvie c
 got caught torturing animals
 cause he finally
 10. The time I got lost on the way to a
 meeting and wound up at a circus tent
 instead, and got followed by a full-out clown
 for three vacant street blocks
 11. The pet hamster I had when I was seven
 who would scream all night and eventually es-
 caped by ripping a bar out of its cage and wig-
 gling through the hole. My mom caught it and
 put it back but it lved another year and a half
 until one night the screaming just stopped
 12. The time I was whistling in the woods
 and something started whistling back,
 so I went home
 13. That one night at summer camp where
 a group of girls got together to play 'bloody
 mary in the lavatory and invited me to
 come with them so I said "no thanks" and
 stayed with the camp councillors and
 drank soup instead.
 14. The old abandoned house I just moved
 into with the door that leads into a big
 empty room full of dirt and empty cooking
 pots that I just sort of... locked up forever
 and never gon
 ear
 15. Once when I was at an ihop I saw a
 coffee mug do a full 360° spin with nobody
 touching it, so I said 'that was neat' and
 never ate there again
 16. The time I took a photo of a big old raven
 sitting on the crucifix on top of the old town
 church cause it was the most goth thing l'd
 ever seen, right? But then it swooped down
 towards me, so I apologized immediately for
 being rude, and I felt a little silly for a while
 but the car that hit me on the way home didn't
 even leave a bruise so idk be nice to birds
 teaboot
 Sorry I know I bring this shit up a lot but
 sometimes im awake at night and I just.
 keep thinking
 teaboot
 I think the secret to survival is to be good to
 animals, stay away from men, and say "no
 elsean
 Source: teaboot
 205.063 notes
Teaboots Adventures As That White Girl  in Horror Movies

Teaboots Adventures As That White Girl in Horror Movies

Bad, Be Like, and Bitch: rachel @Rachel_Bonacoi i seriously need a job where i don't have to interact with people. I just asked a table if they were celebrating anything and when they said their dad's bday i brought them a bday table decoration and THEN they decide to tell me he's not coming cause he's datd.... I had the weirdest, longest dream last night. Some people were trying to like basically destroy the world and these monster things would pretty much just decimate every building they saw and they’d go just go one to the next and when you got killed by them you got sent to like another dimension or something but me and these three other kids found these magic like shards or something that broke off of the monsters idk and we put them together and it teleported ya back to the regular dimension like, actual earth, but everything was fixed again and so we all went to this like corner store and it was like reinforced to keep those monsters and bad guys out so we just worked there and the bad guys would come in and we had to keep fighting them. There was a lot more but it’s too hard to describe and I don’t remember a lot of it. Then the dream shifted to a spy mission and it was me and @brielarson and we had to dive into these water filled vents to get into the room but the vents were full of these fish that would like poison you and she was like ‘oh well it hurts at first but then it stops so just go’ so she would jump in the vent but then the ‘screen’ would go black and be like ‘You Died’ like in dark souls, and I was like oh my god what is this bitch doing?? And eventually after a few times I drank this weird stuff that made me immune to the poison so we got through the vents and into the room but now Brie Larson was Shakira and I forget who the ‘villain’ was but she and Shakira were seeing who could like hack something and find something through their computers the fastest except their computers were just showin GTA V so they were like lookin at license plates on cars and looking at buildings around Los Santos idk, and the villain beat shakira and I was like “:O oh no!” But then shakira was like ‘..yeah maybe you beat me but .. (and this was really dramatic here) the plants like carbohydrates ;) “ and she basically made these plants in the room grow super big and she was now Poison Ivy and (CARBOHYDRATES WHAT THE FUCK?) that’s all I remember thanks
Bad, Be Like, and Bitch: rachel
 @Rachel_Bonacoi
 i seriously need a job where i don't
 have to interact with people. I just
 asked a table if they were celebrating
 anything and when they said their
 dad's bday i brought them a bday
 table decoration and THEN they
 decide to tell me he's not coming
 cause he's datd....
I had the weirdest, longest dream last night. Some people were trying to like basically destroy the world and these monster things would pretty much just decimate every building they saw and they’d go just go one to the next and when you got killed by them you got sent to like another dimension or something but me and these three other kids found these magic like shards or something that broke off of the monsters idk and we put them together and it teleported ya back to the regular dimension like, actual earth, but everything was fixed again and so we all went to this like corner store and it was like reinforced to keep those monsters and bad guys out so we just worked there and the bad guys would come in and we had to keep fighting them. There was a lot more but it’s too hard to describe and I don’t remember a lot of it. Then the dream shifted to a spy mission and it was me and @brielarson and we had to dive into these water filled vents to get into the room but the vents were full of these fish that would like poison you and she was like ‘oh well it hurts at first but then it stops so just go’ so she would jump in the vent but then the ‘screen’ would go black and be like ‘You Died’ like in dark souls, and I was like oh my god what is this bitch doing?? And eventually after a few times I drank this weird stuff that made me immune to the poison so we got through the vents and into the room but now Brie Larson was Shakira and I forget who the ‘villain’ was but she and Shakira were seeing who could like hack something and find something through their computers the fastest except their computers were just showin GTA V so they were like lookin at license plates on cars and looking at buildings around Los Santos idk, and the villain beat shakira and I was like “:O oh no!” But then shakira was like ‘..yeah maybe you beat me but .. (and this was really dramatic here) the plants like carbohydrates ;) “ and she basically made these plants in the room grow super big and she was now Poison Ivy and (CARBOHYDRATES WHAT THE FUCK?) that’s all I remember thanks

I had the weirdest, longest dream last night. Some people were trying to like basically destroy the world and these monster things would pre...