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π₯ | Latest
Love, Memes, and Jobs: superb hole
@kamilumin
I love that when the stock market
goes up, it means absolutely
nothing for those of us who aren't
rich, and when the stock market
goes down, it means we lose our
jobs
2/5/18, 3:31 PM
The stock market via /r/memes https://ift.tt/2nJhDGA
The stock market via /r/memes https://ift.tt/2nJhDGA
Anaconda, Love, and Memes: FIRST SHE TURNED THEN TURNED DOWN
DOWN $10,000 TO$100,00O TO DEBATE
DEBATE BEN SHAPIRO CANDACE OWENS
WHAT S THE PROBLEMa?
RNINC
INTU
DON'T SOCIALISTS LOVE TAKING
MONEY THAT THEY HAVEN'T EARNED
If Socialism Is So Great, Why Wonβt Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Defend It?? π€
If Socialism Is So Great, Why Wonβt Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Defend It?? π€
Game of Thrones, Sorry, and Tumblr: The last thing you're ever going to see is a
Stark smiling down at you as you die.
game-of-thrones-fans:
Sorry, I just couldnβt resist
game-of-thrones-fans: Sorry, I just couldnβt resist
Advice, Ass, and Beautiful: But when I hugged my daughter good-bye, and watched her walk
down that city street, away from us, her family, her protectors,
it was like watching her walk straight out of her childhood.
And into the unknown. And suddenly, I was not fine.
fb/l Might Be Funny
My oldest child graduated from high school in June. A big milestone moment for a parent, right? She was accepted to her first choice college, and we were all so happy and everything was just fine.
And then this summer she worked to save money, and we talked about the things she would need for school. We bought new bedding for her dorm. And it was exciting and I was fine.
We bought storage drawers and a mini fridge. We ordered her textbooks online and shipped them to her dorm address. And still, I was fine.
Then yesterday we packed everything into the car, and set off for school. We moved her into a clean, bright, dorm. We had a lovely dinner with her new roommate, and it all should have been fine.
But when I hugged my daughter good-bye and watched her walk down that city street, away from us, her family, her protectors, it was like watching her walk straight out of her childhood. And into the unknown. And suddenly, I was not fine. So now, Iβll write.
Itβs like Iβve been hit with the emotional equivalent of a hurricane. I mean, I figured Iβd be sad when she left. You canβt spend every single day of 18 years with someone and then not miss them when they move away. Even if your kid is a pain in the ass. Which mine isnβt, by the way, which maybe makes it harder.
And I knew I would feel worry. Because up until now I pretty much knew where my child was at all times. I knew what time she went to bed, what time she woke up, and what she ate for breakfast. Now, overnight, sheβs living in a big city and I donβt know when she came home, or if she remembered to bring a jacket. The only word I can think of to describe all of this not-knowing isβ¦unsettling.
Along with the worry, strangely, is guilt. Second-guessing everything I ever did as a parent. Did I adequately prepare her for the βrealβ world? Did I scare her too much or not enough? Will she really keep the pepper spray in her backpack? Why didnβt I make her take a self-defense class? Does she even know how to mail a package?
Anger. I didnβt expect to feel anger. Yes, I am pissed off at the world right now for not preparing me for this. How many pieces of unsolicited advice do we get in our years of parenting? At every other milestone I felt inundated with information and opinions. People talk endlessly about how hard it is having a newborn, the toddler tantrums, picky eater preschoolers. The middle school yearsβ¦mean girls, bullying. High schoolβ¦peer pressure, drugs, academic stress. And so on. I mean, you canβt get people to SHUT UP about that stuff.
But when you mention your child is leaving for college, the response has been invariably, βOh, how exciting!β Well, now that itβs happened Iβm like, βWait a minute! Why did NOBODY tell me, I mean REALLY tell me, that, THIS, THIS is the milestone that is the absolute HARDEST parenting time of all?β Not one single person said, βIβm so sorry, thatβs totally going to suck for you.β
And of COURSE I am happy for her. And of COURSE I am excited for her. And no, I wouldnβt rather her stay home forever. But none of that mitigates the fact that for me, the mom, it does totally suck right now. So I am telling you now, young parents, because no one actually told me. It sucks. Youβre welcome.
People say, βOh, youβre lucky that her school is close to home,β which until yesterday, gave me some comfort. But I quickly realized that it doesnβt matter much if sheβs not in her bedroom and sheβs two hours away or sheβs not in her bedroom and sheβs ten hours away. Either way, sheβs not in her bedroom. Either way, the house is too quiet.
I keep having this vision in my head of my little girl walking away, towards her building, and in this vision Iβm fighting back tears and yelling, βWAIT! Turn around! Please, Iβm not done yet. I need more timeβ¦just a little more time!β
But my time is up and all I can do is hope that I used it well.
And though my heart is heavy and my emotions are muddled, my head is clear, and I do know the truth of the matter. I may need just a little more timeβ¦but she doesnβt. Sheβs strong and sheβs smart and sheβs beautiful and sheβs ready.
Sheβs all yours, world. Please treat her kindly.
(via I Might Be Funny)
My oldest child graduated from high school in June. A big milestone moment for a parent, right? She was accepted to her first choice college...
Beef, God, and Memes: TMZ
"U STOLE MY CARD & TOLD ME YOU THOUGHT
IT WAS AN ACCOUNT WITH FREE MONEY"
THAT I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT ON GOD. GOD
WILL STRIKE YOU DOWN & MORE FOR LYING."
NICKI MINAJ
This is getting NASTY! Nicki Minaj vs Safaree - who you got? tmz nickiminaj safaree beef
This is getting NASTY! Nicki Minaj vs Safaree - who you got? tmz nickiminaj safaree beef
Donald Trump, Memes, and Aliens: "All Americans.. are rightly disturbed
by the number of illegal aliens entering
our country
That's why our administration has
moved aggressively to secure our
borders more, by hiring a record
number of new border guards, by
deporting twice as many criminal aliens
as ever before, by cracking down on
illegal hiring, by barring welfare benefits
to illegal aliens. In the budget l will
present we will try to do more, to speed
the deportation of illegal aliens who are
arrested for crimes, to better identify
1995
STE UEOON illegal aliens in the workplace."
ADDRESS Democrats cheered Clinton for saying
PRESIDENT this 22 years ago.. why are they
BILL CLINTONattacking Donald Trump now?
How Democrats used to talk.
How Democrats used to talk.
God, Memes, and News: BIG NEWS
AS MANY OF YOU KNOW,
I'VE BEEN DIVORCED FOR SOME TIME-
BUT THINGS ARE ABOUT TO GET ALL
BRADY BUNCH UP IN THIS COMIC!
IM NOW ENGAGED TO A WONDERFUL
WOMAN WITH TWO AMAZING, INFURIATING,
ULTRA-LOVABLE KIDS OF HER OWN.
(GOD HELP US.)
WE'RE SO (
SCREWED.
NO SHIT.
FowlLanguage Comics.com
Β©Brian Gordon
More of an update than a comic.
Albeit a damn-good update. π
(site is down, bonus panel in comments)
More of an update than a comic. Albeit a damn-good update. π (site is down, bonus panel in comments)
![Reddit, Soon..., and Got: This update will be complete in aeeee hectares.
Your universe will restart soon. wait patiently
Any unruly coelacanths may slow down the process by Omicron gallons
Be sure to use the %00 to withhold against unnecessary osteoclasts
Report any missing squashes immediately
The alpha of your cerebral barometers is paramount
to proper execution of the update
[Src]](https://pics.awwmemes.com/this-update-will-be-complete-in-aeeee-hectares-your-universe-35485686.png)
Cristiano Ronaldo, Memes, and Real Madrid: "Cristiano Ronaldo is on our side now
If we face Real Madrid, we won't start
the match 1-0 down. We have the
advantage now."
Leonardo Bonuccl
Jeep
You STILL donβt follow @WeTrollFootball ? βπΌπ±
You STILL donβt follow @WeTrollFootball ? βπΌπ±
Dank, Life, and Good Morning: she woke u
different,
Done with trying to figure out who was
with her, against her, or walking down
the middle because they didn't have the
guts to pick a side. She was done with
anything that didn't bring her peace.
She realized that opinions were a dime a
dozen, validation was for parking, and
loyalty wasn't a word but a lifestyle.
It was this day that her life changed.
And not because of a man or a job but
because she realized that life is way too
short to leave the key to your happiness
in someone else's pocket.
Good Morning Lover Faces!
Good Morning Lover Faces!
A Dream, Crazy, and Driving: In 2012 l put a video called My Vag on
YouTube, knowing that it probably
wouldn't do well and it would make
me the laughing stock of every job
interview ever. I wrote a song called
NYC Bitches while making $9/hr at a
vegan bodega. After it went on
YouTube, a man came in asked if l
was Awkwafina - it made me so
happy
One day, I got the email of my life. An
A&R exec at a major record label
wanted to meet with me. I listened to
Dreams by Fleetwood Mac on the way
to the meeting. He listened to two of
my songs and never called again
5 years later, I'm in an Escalade in a
gown, driving down Hollywood Blvd
that they shut down for Crazy Rich
Asians. And I asked the driver for the
aux to play Dreams by Fleetwood
Mac. I became teary, thinking about
this moment, what it meant.
I remembered those days when I got
fired from my job for Awkwafina, when
I was broke for Awkwafina, when I got
kicked off line-ups because
"Awkwafina is a joke." Awkwafina was
a dream I was chasing, and in some
ways, I am still chasing her. But we
need to take risks. We need to go
broke. We need to prove them wrong,
simply by not giving up. Awkwafina
wasn't supposed to exist, but
somehow she does. And I think about
it everyday, that she was born for one
reason only- to show every person
out there, that it is possible
Thank you guys for believing in Awkwafina. https://t.co/DDuhE5ZQf2
Thank you guys for believing in Awkwafina. https://t.co/DDuhE5ZQf2
Blackpeopletwitter, Guess, and Quizlet: Lil KiKi
@NthnEvenMatters
Quizlet shut down so if you don't have a
degree by now, I guess you just won't
get it
Stop playing with my emotions (via /r/BlackPeopleTwitter)
Stop playing with my emotions (via /r/BlackPeopleTwitter)
Beautiful, Fake, and Head: HISTORY
h
What Greek goddess is known for
being the most beautiful?
keyhollow:
knitmeapony:
28weekslaterhater:
knitmeapony:
ravenclawslibrary:
smurflewis:
DONT ASK ME THIS, THIS IS HOW THE TROJAN WAR STARTED, I DONT WANT THIS MAN
Right away, Aphrodite popped into my head.
And then Iβm just like, βDAMMIT, DID YOU LEARN NOTHING FROM PARIS? YOU ARE AN EMBARRASSMENT, AND NOW ALL THE TROJANS ARE DEAD. I HOPE YOUβRE HAPPY.β
If you are ever actually in this situation, pro-tip: name Persephone. Β Half the goddesses will be too surprised to smite you immediately and while Hades wonβt do you any favors he may at least high-five you while your on your way down.
Another tip: name Mesperyian. Not only will you shock everyone, including her (since Aphrodite was a jealous ho who burnt half her face off), but youβll win Hadesβ favour. As his most beloved daughter, anything that praises her will make you a kind human to her, an okay human to him, and a genuinely good person to anyone else.
I heartily endorse this alternative answer.
Fake goddess unfortunately. Yell Hera, she might save-ish you if sheβs feelin her oats, itβs a good day, the wind is blowing to the west, and itβs 9:04am
keyhollow: knitmeapony: 28weekslaterhater: knitmeapony: ravenclawslibrary: smurflewis: DONT ASK ME THIS, THIS IS HOW THE TROJAN WAR STA...
Memes, Run, and School: the90swerentreal
One time in high school I was waiting to talk to
the Vice Principal and this other kid came in and
sat down next to me. He said "What are you in
for?" And I said "Oh, they just want to know if its
cool if I miss my classes tomorrow to run sound
and lights for a presentation in the auditorium.
What are you in for?" and he said that he
stabbed a kid with a screwdriver. I told him we
led very different lives and he agreed.
follow @jennasmemebank its my backup account incase my account gets deleted (its happened twice in the past 2 years) my brother posts for me
follow @jennasmemebank its my backup account incase my account gets deleted (its happened twice in the past 2 years) my brother posts for me
