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Drunk, Instagram, and Life: How do you sit out here all night
on the roof, in the cold and still
have faith your pumokin's
gonna show up?
How do you do this, Ted?
Look, I Know fhat odds are,
the love of my life isn't gonna
magically walk through that door
Well, l'm pretty drunk.
howimetyourmotherthefanpage
instagram
in a pumpkin costume at
2:43 in the moming.
But it seems as a nice spot
as any to just, you know
sit and wait.
Loved this. #HIMYM https://t.co/J4bv3QqlGZ
Loved this. #HIMYM https://t.co/J4bv3QqlGZ
Memes, Mom, and Boy: yesterday i told my nephew i'm not
allowed to eat popsicles (bc my sis
doesn't want him eating junk & he
copies me)
so he pulls me into the bathroom,
slams the door, and whispers:
"ssshhhh i got us both popsicles but
we need to eat them in here so my
mom doesn't find out"
Il
๐This boy is going places
๐This boy is going places
Community, Confused, and Lgbt: i-write-your-imagines
So I usually don't post
stuff like this but..
Right so today in class my math teacher,
a human who is taller than our door and
probably more awkward than it, casually
mentioned how he isn't married and how he
never really felt attraction to any gender. So a
pan girl in my class puts up her hand and asks
if he was Asexual. One confused state and
three queer people explanations later... HE
WAS BEYOND EXCITED TO FIND OUT THAT
HE WAS VALID AND SEEN AS AN ACTAUL
HUMAN TO THE LGBT COMMUNITY. I shit
you not. My way too tall and way too smart
and way too dorky and way too awkward
maths teacher lived his entire life thinking that
he was strange and abnormal for not feeling
any attraction to anyone. And a class of
insane grade elevens changed that.
egbtheroes
Wholesome teacher finally feels validated
Wholesome teacher finally feels validated
A Dream, Anaconda, and Church: ELEAND
PICKS UP THE RICE
RIGBYIN THE CHuURCH
WHERE A WEDDING
HAS BEEN
LIVES IN
A DREAM
WAITS AT THE
WEARING
THE
FACE
THAT SHE
KEEP S IN
A JAR BY
THE แปฑOR
WHO IS
IT FOR
ALL THE LONNELY PEOPLE WHERE Do THEY ALL CONE FRoM
ALL THE LONELY PEOPLEHERE Do THEY AL BELONG?
FATHER NcKEN2IE
WRITING THE WbRDS OFA
SERMON THAT ND ONE
WILL HEAR
NO ONE ConMES
NEAR
6
LOOK AT HIM
WORKING
SocKS IN THE
NIGHT WHEN
THERE'S
NOBO DY
THERE
WHAT
DOES
ะฝะต
CARE?
0
ALL THE LONEUY PEDRLE
WHERE DO THEY ALL COME FROM?
ALL THE LONELY PEOPLE
WHaE Do THEY ALL BaoNb
9
ELEANdR
DIED IN
THE CHuRCH
RIGBY
FATHER MCKENZIE
AND WAS BURIEDF
ALONu WTH HER
NO ONE wAS
SAvED
NAME
WIPING THE DIRT
FRoM HIS HANDS As
HE WAUKS FROM HER
GRAVE
NDBODY CAME
mailadreapta:
notaspookyhomosexualjohnegbert:
ghostabletoastables:
when i was very small i assumed this song was about some lady who literally kept a human face in a jar by the door and since father mckenzie buried her that meant that he also killed her and basically i thought eleanor rigby was about zombies until i was like 12 years old
This is so much better than anything I couldโve envisioned listening to the song.
100% improving the Beatles by making them into short horror stories.
mailadreapta: notaspookyhomosexualjohnegbert: ghostabletoastables: when i was very small i assumed this song was about some lady who lit...
Family, God, and Life: God created the dog and said:
Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone
who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life
span of twenty years."
The dog said: That's a long time to be barking. How about
only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?'
So God agreed
Then God created the monkey and said:
Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this
I'll give you a twenty-year life span.'
The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a
pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten
like the Dog did?"
And God agreed.
Then God created the cow and said:
You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and
suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support
the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of
sixty years.
The cow said: That's kind of a tough life you want me to
live for sixty years.. How about twenty and I'll give back
the other forty?
And God agreed again.
Thereafter God created humans and said:
Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'II
give you twenty years."
But the human said: Only twenty years? Could you possibly
give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten
the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that
makes eighty, okay?'
Okay, said God, 'You asked for it."
So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play
and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in
the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do
monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.. And for the
last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at
everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.
epicjohndoe:
There, Life Has Now Been Explained To You
epicjohndoe: There, Life Has Now Been Explained To You
Tumblr, Blog, and Com: novelty-gift-ideas:
Door Knocker Balls
novelty-gift-ideas: Door Knocker Balls
Ghetto, T-Mobile, and Free: l T-Mobile LTE
3:00 PM
The next day, he knocks on my door and
asked if he can use my mower to try to
mow lawns. And I said sure. He
responded "really? Everyone else has
said no"
Now, I don't live in the ghetto, but it's not
exactly a wealthy suburb. l'd rather the
kids do something productive than going
around destroying things. So, he was
gone a few hours. Came back and said
thanks.
Yesterday he comes by, and asks again to
use it. This time, he asks how much l paid
for my lawnmower, as he wants to save
up to get his own. So he doesn't have to
keep using mine. He also said he'll mow
mine for free since I'm letting him use it
l think this weekend I'm gonna go buy a
mower for him
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Wholesome mower
Wholesome mower
Family, God, and Life: God created the dog and said:
Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone
who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life
span of twenty years."
The dog said: That's a long time to be barking. How about
only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?'
So God agreed
Then God created the monkey and said:
Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this
I'll give you a twenty-year life span.'
The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a
pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten
like the Dog did?"
And God agreed.
Then God created the cow and said:
You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and
suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support
the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of
sixty years.
The cow said: That's kind of a tough life you want me to
live for sixty years.. How about twenty and I'll give back
the other forty?
And God agreed again.
Thereafter God created humans and said:
Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'II
give you twenty years."
But the human said: Only twenty years? Could you possibly
give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten
the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that
makes eighty, okay?'
Okay, said God, 'You asked for it."
So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play
and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in
the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do
monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.. And for the
last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at
everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.
epicjohndoe:
There, Life Has Now Been Explained To You
epicjohndoe: There, Life Has Now Been Explained To You
