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point
point

point

fightings
 fightings

fightings

night
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night

i dont care
i dont care

i dont care

posted
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posted

caring
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looking good
looking good

looking good

black friday shopping
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🔥 | Latest

Ass, Bad, and Blade: 1AM glyndarling: aerylon: loloftheday: Let’s see you little punks smash my letterbox now This reminds me of this guy who used to live on my dad’s street.   Every time it snowed, the snow plow would take out his mailbox - and only his mail box.  And just to be clear - it was done intentionally.  No one knows why, but the driver of the snow plow would target his box and mow it down.  He’d call the DOT to complain, and would get an earful of excuses that amounted to “not our fault you have a wimpy mailbox.”   Fast forward to the next winter.  First decent snow starts falling, and every kid is hoping for a snow day.  It was right around 4:30 am that the whole neighborhood was woken up to this loud CLANG and the screech of tearing metal.  My dad made it to the window first and started laughing his ass off. Sitting out side was one very totaled, and almost ripped in half, snow plow.  And these weren’t little pick-up trucks with a blade on the front, we have these up in NY: Well, turns out over the summer, my dad’s neighbor got himself a backhoe and sank a steel I beam into the ground in his front yard.  Then he covered it with a decorative wood sleeve and topped it with a brand new mailbox.  When the snowplow driver tried to mow it down it was a bad case of immovable object meets unstoppable force - and the mailbox won.  With the plow firmly impaled on the I beam, it was very clear that the driver had gone out of his way to hit it.   Naturally, the DOT wasn’t happy, and the neighbor’s reply was simple: “Not my faulty you have a wimpy snowplow.”  They did try to sue him for the damages, but as he had gone to the town, gotten approval for the post and its installation, and made sure everything was up to code, it was thrown out pretty quick.   And for anyone wondering about the driver…  He was fine.  His job and tighty-whiteys … not so much. That is a very satisfying read.
Ass, Bad, and Blade: 1AM
glyndarling:

aerylon:

loloftheday:

Let’s see you little punks smash my letterbox now

This reminds me of this guy who used to live on my dad’s street.  

Every time it snowed, the snow plow would take out his mailbox - and only his mail box.  And just to be clear - it was done intentionally.  No one knows why, but the driver of the snow plow would target his box and mow it down.  He’d call the DOT to complain, and would get an earful of excuses that amounted to “not our fault you have a wimpy mailbox.”  

Fast forward to the next winter.  First decent snow starts falling, and every kid is hoping for a snow day.  It was right around 4:30 am that the whole neighborhood was woken up to this loud CLANG and the screech of tearing metal.  My dad made it to the window first and started laughing his ass off.

Sitting out side was one very totaled, and almost ripped in half, snow plow.  And these weren’t little pick-up trucks with a blade on the front, we have these up in NY:

Well, turns out over the summer, my dad’s neighbor got himself a backhoe and sank a steel I beam into the ground in his front yard.  Then he covered it with a decorative wood sleeve and topped it with a brand new mailbox.  When the snowplow driver tried to mow it down it was a bad case of immovable object meets unstoppable force - and the mailbox won.  With the plow firmly impaled on the I beam, it was very clear that the driver had gone out of his way to hit it.  

Naturally, the DOT wasn’t happy, and the neighbor’s reply was simple: “Not my faulty you have a wimpy snowplow.”  They did try to sue him for the damages, but as he had gone to the town, gotten approval for the post and its installation, and made sure everything was up to code, it was thrown out pretty quick.  

And for anyone wondering about the driver…  He was fine.  His job and tighty-whiteys … not so much.


That is a very satisfying read.

glyndarling: aerylon: loloftheday: Let’s see you little punks smash my letterbox now This reminds me of this guy who used to live on my ...

Doctor, Family, and Fresh: Like I used to be." THIS WAS THE BEST THANKSGIVING EVER WE'D LOVE TO HAVE YOU STAY, HONEY I KINDA DON'T WANNA LEAVE BUT YOU HAVE TO MOVE ON TO THE NEXT PERFORMANCE I'M SURE THE CIRCUS WILL BE BACK IN TOWN NEXT YEAR. WHEN IT IS, OUR HOME is YOUR HOME. ు PROMISE? OF COURSE, I DO, SWEETIE I'M AFRAID NOT, RICHARD. IT WAS OUR DAUGHTER'S FAVORITE VExy FuOLY OMe SHE'S WAITING FOR THE DAY WHEN SHE CAN PASS IT ON TO SOMEONE SPECIAL THE BOOK WAS GREAT. CAN I КЕЁР IT? "КАУ. ViExY FROAL T've been thinking about them a lot, Dr. Haas. My parents were killed before we got to go back "They're long dead now I'm sure, but I wish I'd seen them again. "They were kind and decent. Even more important, they were family." WELL DONE IT MAУ TАKE YEARS, BUT WE ARE PERFECTLY POSITIONED FOR THE DAY... .WHEN RICHARD GRAYSON 1S OURS. "WAYNE WILL NEVER LET GO OF YOU IF YOU STAY IN GOTHAM. YOU WANT ME TO LEAVE? MY ONLY GOAL IS YOUR HEALTH AND HAPPINESS. PUT ASIDE THE IDEA OF RECOVERINGA LIFE YOU CAN'T REMEMBER... THERE'S LITTLE TO KEEP YOU HERE AND YOUR FRUSTRATION IS OBVIOUS. ...AND FOCUS ON BUILDINGA NEW LIFE. SO, WHY NOT START IN A PLACE THAT DOES MEAN SOMETHING? SOMEPLACE LIKE... МАУВЕ THIS WILL HELP YOU CONNECT WITH HAPPIER TIMES. ...BLÜDHAVEN IS THAT--P! I ALSO HAD IT AS A CHILD. KVERY FAADIY OWL WOW THANK YOU! THE IT'S JUST LIKE I REMEMBER IT! BUT, uh... DON'T YOU THINK I'M A LITTLE OLD FOR IT? NO ONE IS EVER TOO OLD TO LET THE BEST MOMENTS OF THEIR CHILDHOOD BE THEIR GUIDE. YOU CAN THANK ME BY CREATING A VIBRANT NEW LIFE FOR YOURSELF IF I KNOW WAYNE, HE HAS CONTACTS ON STAFF GOODBYE, RICHARD. I'LL BE IN TOUCH YOU WERE LISTENING? IT'LL BE EASIER FOR YOU TO DISAPPEAR IF YOU DON'T SIGN OUT. I OWE YOU MORE THAN I CAN EVER REPAY, DR. HAAS THANK YOU. OF COURSE YOUR DRUG REGIMEN AND PSYCHOLOGICAL MANIPULATION BURIED GRAYSON'S MEMORY AND LEFT HIM RIGHT WHERE WE WANT HIM WELL DONE, DOCTOR. THERE'S MORE TO BE DONE, OF COURSE BUT THE DICK GRAYSON OF THE PAST... IS GONE FOREVER. "HE'S RICHARD GRAYSON NOW, A FRESH LUMP OF CLAY, WAITING TO BE MOLDED INTO WHATEVER WE WANT "NOTIFY СОВВ. Blüdhaven 45 mi LET HIM KNOW THAT THE TIME TO MOVE IS ALMOST HERE... ..AND THAT HIS GREAT- GRANDSON WILL SOON BE HIS." why-i-love-comics: Nightwing Annual #2 - “The Very Friendly Owl” (2019)written by Dan Jurgensart by Travis Moore
Doctor, Family, and Fresh: Like I used
 to be."
 THIS WAS
 THE BEST
 THANKSGIVING
 EVER
 WE'D LOVE
 TO HAVE YOU
 STAY, HONEY
 I KINDA
 DON'T WANNA
 LEAVE
 BUT YOU HAVE TO
 MOVE ON TO THE NEXT
 PERFORMANCE
 I'M
 SURE THE
 CIRCUS WILL
 BE BACK IN
 TOWN NEXT
 YEAR.
 WHEN IT IS,
 OUR HOME is
 YOUR HOME.
 ు

 PROMISE?
 OF
 COURSE, I DO,
 SWEETIE
 I'M AFRAID NOT,
 RICHARD. IT WAS
 OUR DAUGHTER'S
 FAVORITE
 VExy FuOLY
 OMe
 SHE'S
 WAITING FOR
 THE DAY WHEN
 SHE CAN PASS IT
 ON TO SOMEONE
 SPECIAL
 THE BOOK
 WAS GREAT.
 CAN I
 КЕЁР IT?
 "КАУ.
 ViExY FROAL
 T've been thinking
 about them a lot,
 Dr. Haas.
 My parents were
 killed before we
 got to go back
 "They're long dead
 now I'm sure, but
 I wish I'd seen
 them again.
 "They were kind
 and decent.
 Even more
 important, they
 were family."
 WELL
 DONE
 IT MAУ TАKE
 YEARS, BUT WE
 ARE PERFECTLY
 POSITIONED FOR
 THE DAY...

 .WHEN
 RICHARD
 GRAYSON 1S
 OURS.
 "WAYNE WILL
 NEVER LET GO OF
 YOU IF YOU STAY
 IN GOTHAM.
 YOU WANT ME
 TO LEAVE?
 MY ONLY GOAL IS
 YOUR HEALTH AND
 HAPPINESS.
 PUT ASIDE
 THE IDEA OF
 RECOVERINGA
 LIFE YOU CAN'T
 REMEMBER...
 THERE'S LITTLE TO
 KEEP YOU HERE AND
 YOUR FRUSTRATION
 IS OBVIOUS.
 ...AND FOCUS
 ON BUILDINGA
 NEW LIFE.
 SO, WHY NOT
 START IN A PLACE
 THAT DOES MEAN
 SOMETHING?
 SOMEPLACE
 LIKE...
 МАУВЕ
 THIS WILL HELP
 YOU CONNECT
 WITH HAPPIER
 TIMES.
 ...BLÜDHAVEN
 IS
 THAT--P!
 I ALSO
 HAD IT AS
 A CHILD.
 KVERY FAADIY
 OWL
 WOW
 THANK
 YOU!
 THE
 IT'S
 JUST LIKE I
 REMEMBER
 IT!
 BUT, uh...
 DON'T YOU THINK
 I'M A LITTLE OLD
 FOR IT?

 NO ONE IS
 EVER TOO OLD
 TO LET THE BEST
 MOMENTS OF THEIR
 CHILDHOOD BE
 THEIR GUIDE.
 YOU CAN THANK
 ME BY CREATING A
 VIBRANT NEW LIFE
 FOR YOURSELF
 IF I KNOW
 WAYNE, HE HAS
 CONTACTS ON
 STAFF
 GOODBYE,
 RICHARD.
 I'LL BE IN
 TOUCH
 YOU WERE
 LISTENING?
 IT'LL BE
 EASIER FOR YOU
 TO DISAPPEAR
 IF YOU DON'T
 SIGN OUT.
 I OWE YOU
 MORE THAN
 I CAN EVER
 REPAY, DR.
 HAAS
 THANK
 YOU.
 OF
 COURSE
 YOUR DRUG REGIMEN
 AND PSYCHOLOGICAL
 MANIPULATION BURIED
 GRAYSON'S MEMORY
 AND LEFT HIM RIGHT
 WHERE WE WANT
 HIM
 WELL DONE,
 DOCTOR.
 THERE'S
 MORE TO BE
 DONE, OF
 COURSE
 BUT
 THE DICK
 GRAYSON OF
 THE PAST...

 IS GONE
 FOREVER.
 "HE'S RICHARD
 GRAYSON NOW, A FRESH
 LUMP OF CLAY, WAITING
 TO BE MOLDED INTO
 WHATEVER WE WANT
 "NOTIFY
 СОВВ.
 Blüdhaven
 45 mi
 LET HIM KNOW THAT
 THE TIME TO MOVE IS
 ALMOST HERE...
 ..AND THAT
 HIS GREAT-
 GRANDSON WILL
 SOON BE HIS."
why-i-love-comics:

Nightwing Annual #2 - “The Very Friendly Owl” (2019)written by Dan Jurgensart by Travis Moore

why-i-love-comics: Nightwing Annual #2 - “The Very Friendly Owl” (2019)written by Dan Jurgensart by Travis Moore

Bad, Cher, and Children: Cher @cher Happy Day My Darling Son Mom 2:26 PM 04 Mar 16 514 RETWEETS 2,869 LIKES sonneillonv: rocknlobster: twunkmccree: brotoro: svpermodeling: Every mother with trans children should take Cher as an example. ok i love her but lets not give brownie points because she called him her son. thats like. minimum requirement for a decent human being. Ok, you know what? No. Brownie points to Cher. She publicly announced her love and acceptance of her SON and yeah some people would call that “the minimum requirement” of decency, but as someone whose mother gushes about her acceptance in private and sometimes uses gender neutral terms for me (not the male ones I prefer) but aggressively misgenders me in public to keep things from being “awkward”, cher’s public acknowledgement and expression of her love and acceptance for her son is a big deal. Yes this SHOULD BE the bare minimum of parental decency, but right now it’s not and I’m glad to see Chaz and Cher showing the world that this is the way things are supposed to be. What is up with the idea that we shouldn’t acknowledge when people do something good/nice/etc. because “everyone should be doing that anyway”? It is BY acknowledging the things we see as good that we tell others how we see the world and enforce what we consider proper behavior. There is literally never a time when it doesn’t make sense to acknowledge something positive. And acknowledging something positive does NOT make some sort of blanket statement about the person like they can do no wrong either. We can acknowledge a positive, and also criticize a negative; there is no zero-sum game here. Reinforcing good behavior is just as important, in fact more important, than criticizing bad behavior when it comes to making a change.  This is true of training pets, children, and cis people.
Bad, Cher, and Children: Cher
 @cher
 Happy Day My Darling Son
 Mom
 2:26 PM 04 Mar 16
 514 RETWEETS 2,869 LIKES
sonneillonv:
rocknlobster:

twunkmccree:

brotoro:

svpermodeling:
Every mother with trans children should take Cher as an example.

ok i love her but lets not give brownie points because she called him her son. thats like. minimum requirement for a decent human being.

Ok, you know what? No. Brownie points to Cher. 

She publicly announced her love and acceptance of her SON and yeah some people would call that “the minimum requirement” of decency, but as someone whose mother gushes about her acceptance in private and sometimes uses gender neutral terms for me (not the male ones I prefer) but aggressively misgenders me in public to keep things from being “awkward”, cher’s public acknowledgement and expression of her love and acceptance for her son is a big deal.

Yes this SHOULD BE the bare minimum of parental decency, but right now it’s not and I’m glad to see Chaz and Cher showing the world that this is the way things are supposed to be.

What is up with the idea that we shouldn’t acknowledge when people do something good/nice/etc. because “everyone should be doing that anyway”? It is BY acknowledging the things we see as good that we tell others how we see the world and enforce what we consider proper behavior. There is literally never a time when it doesn’t make sense to acknowledge something positive. And acknowledging something positive does NOT make some sort of blanket statement about the person like they can do no wrong either. We can acknowledge a positive, and also criticize a negative; there is no zero-sum game here.

Reinforcing good behavior is just as important, in fact more important, than criticizing bad behavior when it comes to making a change.  This is true of training pets, children, and cis people.

sonneillonv: rocknlobster: twunkmccree: brotoro: svpermodeling: Every mother with trans children should take Cher as an example. ok i lo...

Cher, Children, and Love: Cher @cher Happy Day My Darling Son Mom 2:26 PM 04 Mar 16 514 RETWEETS 2,869 LIKES rocknlobster: twunkmccree: brotoro: svpermodeling: Every mother with trans children should take Cher as an example. ok i love her but lets not give brownie points because she called him her son. thats like. minimum requirement for a decent human being. Ok, you know what? No. Brownie points to Cher. She publicly announced her love and acceptance of her SON and yeah some people would call that “the minimum requirement” of decency, but as someone whose mother gushes about her acceptance in private and sometimes uses gender neutral terms for me (not the male ones I prefer) but aggressively misgenders me in public to keep things from being “awkward”, cher’s public acknowledgement and expression of her love and acceptance for her son is a big deal. Yes this SHOULD BE the bare minimum of parental decency, but right now it’s not and I’m glad to see Chaz and Cher showing the world that this is the way things are supposed to be. What is up with the idea that we shouldn’t acknowledge when people do something good/nice/etc. because “everyone should be doing that anyway”? It is BY acknowledging the things we see as good that we tell others how we see the world and enforce what we consider proper behavior. There is literally never a time when it doesn’t make sense to acknowledge something positive. And acknowledging something positive does NOT make some sort of blanket statement about the person like they can do no wrong either. We can acknowledge a positive, and also criticize a negative; there is no zero-sum game here.
Cher, Children, and Love: Cher
 @cher
 Happy Day My Darling Son
 Mom
 2:26 PM 04 Mar 16
 514 RETWEETS 2,869 LIKES
rocknlobster:

twunkmccree:

brotoro:

svpermodeling:
Every mother with trans children should take Cher as an example.

ok i love her but lets not give brownie points because she called him her son. thats like. minimum requirement for a decent human being.

Ok, you know what? No. Brownie points to Cher. 

She publicly announced her love and acceptance of her SON and yeah some people would call that “the minimum requirement” of decency, but as someone whose mother gushes about her acceptance in private and sometimes uses gender neutral terms for me (not the male ones I prefer) but aggressively misgenders me in public to keep things from being “awkward”, cher’s public acknowledgement and expression of her love and acceptance for her son is a big deal.

Yes this SHOULD BE the bare minimum of parental decency, but right now it’s not and I’m glad to see Chaz and Cher showing the world that this is the way things are supposed to be.

What is up with the idea that we shouldn’t acknowledge when people do something good/nice/etc. because “everyone should be doing that anyway”? It is BY acknowledging the things we see as good that we tell others how we see the world and enforce what we consider proper behavior. There is literally never a time when it doesn’t make sense to acknowledge something positive. And acknowledging something positive does NOT make some sort of blanket statement about the person like they can do no wrong either. We can acknowledge a positive, and also criticize a negative; there is no zero-sum game here.

rocknlobster: twunkmccree: brotoro: svpermodeling: Every mother with trans children should take Cher as an example. ok i love her but le...

Alive, Apparently, and Bad: ORihad Herrma M S youmakemelikecharity: rock-moms: vastderp: gaybuttfuckzone: deltasniper1000: So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I’m posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.] Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it’s not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them. THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH) They are the world’s largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE. They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn’t put them where they need to fucking go. So they don’t have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn’t just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it’ll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it’s basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons. “If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators.” No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job. They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it’s so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) “Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!” Do not let that expression fool you, they just don’t have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck. They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them. “Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us.” Yes, thank you. “But if they’re so bad at literally everything, why haven’t they gone extinct.” Great question. BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT’S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that’ll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY. And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it. LIVE OCEAN SUNFISH UPDATE: FISH DISCOVERED TO BE MORE DUMB THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHTSo the top and bottom fins kind of wiggle all of the time and they are not sure exactly why but think it’s stabilization. BUT they can jump by turning on their side and using them as wing type things. It is suspected they do this as a way of “scratching” their parasite ridden bodies. So learning that I was like “huh okay they have a skill.” Then I discovered this: Since they are so terrible at swimming, the current will carry them into deep cold water. Then they die. So I have learned that they are so stupid they just get slowly consumed by a freezing death. All while they have the full ability for that to not happen. Because they’re fucking worthless floating garbage i read this out loud to my marine bio nerd friend and she agrees be nice to them they’re doing their best :(
Alive, Apparently, and Bad: ORihad Herrma M
 S
youmakemelikecharity:

rock-moms:

vastderp:

gaybuttfuckzone:

deltasniper1000:

So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I’m posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.]

Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it’s not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them.

THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH)

They are the world’s largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE.

They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn’t put them where they need to fucking go. 

So they don’t have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn’t just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it’ll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it’s basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons. 

“If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators.” No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job.

They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it’s so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) “Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!” Do not let that expression fool you, they just don’t have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck.

They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them. 

“Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us.” Yes, thank you. “But if they’re so bad at literally everything, why haven’t they gone extinct.” Great question. 

BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT’S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that’ll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY. 

And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it.


LIVE OCEAN SUNFISH UPDATE: FISH DISCOVERED TO BE MORE DUMB THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHTSo
 the top and bottom fins kind of wiggle all of the time and they are not
 sure exactly why but think it’s stabilization. BUT they can jump by 
turning on their side and using them as 
wing type things. It is suspected they do this as a way of “scratching” 
their parasite ridden bodies. So learning that I was like “huh okay they
 have a skill.” Then I discovered this: Since they 
are so terrible at swimming, the current will carry them into deep cold 
water. Then they die. So I have learned that they are so stupid they 
just get slowly consumed by a freezing death. All while they have the 
full ability for that to not happen. Because they’re fucking worthless 
floating garbage



i read this out loud to my marine bio nerd friend and she agrees


be nice to them they’re doing their best :(

youmakemelikecharity: rock-moms: vastderp: gaybuttfuckzone: deltasniper1000: So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the...

Tumblr, Blog, and Space: space-pics: Finally got my first decent Milky Way shot in Eastern Wyoming!
Tumblr, Blog, and Space: space-pics:

Finally got my first decent Milky Way shot in Eastern Wyoming!

space-pics: Finally got my first decent Milky Way shot in Eastern Wyoming!

Comfortable, Deer, and Hello: hello-kitty-senpai There is a specific and terrifying difference between "never were" monsters and "are not anymore" monsters The thing that was not a deer implies a creature which mimics a deer but imperfectly and the details which are wrong are what makes it terrifying The thing that was not a deer anymore" on the other hand implies a thing that USED to be a deer before it was somehow mutated, possessed, parasitically controlled or reanimated improperly and what makes THAT terrifying is the details that are still right and recognizable poking out of all the wrong and horrible malformations hello-kitty-senpai hey I totally forgot the 3rd type, which is "Is Not Anymore And Maybe Never Was" monsters "The thing which was no longer a deer and maybe never was" implies a creature that, at first glance, completely appears to be a deer, but over time degrades very slowly until you realize (probably too late) that it is not a deer anymore, and had you seen it in this state first, you wouldn't have recognized it as a deer at all, and there's a decent chance that it was never actually a deer to begin with but only a very good mimic, and what makes this one scary is the slow change from everything being right to everything being wrong, happening slowly enough that you don't even notice it until its too late, as welll as the fact that something now so clearly not a deer could have fooled you to begin with katekarl And the fourth type, which is, "I dunno, but it sure ain't a deer. Which implies complete confusion about what the creature could be, to the point that even a person as comfortable in this world as someone who would use the word ain't unironically is uncertain, which should horrify you to the deepest depths of your soul. goblinfruit Don't forget the fifth type, the that's a weird looking dog," implying that while the creature has an appearance that slips beyond our ken, that raises the tiny hairs at the back of our necks and limbs, that makes our lungs rattle and hearts constrict,... personality-wise, it is a good boy Source: hello-kitty-senpai 52,450 notes #anymore #never #were #notNever were, not anymore - #Anymore #notNever
Comfortable, Deer, and Hello: hello-kitty-senpai
 There is a specific and terrifying difference between "never were" monsters and
 "are not anymore" monsters
 The thing that was not a deer implies a creature which mimics a deer but
 imperfectly and the details which are wrong are what makes it terrifying
 The thing that was not a deer anymore" on the other hand implies a thing that
 USED to be a deer before it was somehow mutated, possessed, parasitically
 controlled or reanimated improperly and what makes THAT terrifying is the
 details that are still right and recognizable poking out of all the wrong and
 horrible malformations
 hello-kitty-senpai
 hey I totally
 forgot the 3rd type, which is "Is Not Anymore And
 Maybe Never Was" monsters
 "The thing which was no longer a deer and maybe never was" implies a creature
 that, at first glance, completely appears to be a deer, but over time degrades
 very slowly until you realize (probably too late) that it is not a deer anymore, and
 had you seen it in this state first, you wouldn't have recognized it as a deer at all,
 and there's a decent chance that it was never actually a deer to begin with but
 only a very good mimic, and what makes this one scary is the slow change from
 everything being right to everything being wrong, happening slowly enough that
 you don't even notice it until its too late, as welll as the fact that something now
 so clearly not a deer could have fooled you to begin with
 katekarl
 And the fourth type, which is, "I dunno, but it sure ain't a deer. Which implies
 complete confusion about what the creature could be, to the point that even a
 person as comfortable in this world as someone who would use the word ain't
 unironically is uncertain, which should horrify you to the deepest depths of your
 soul.
 goblinfruit
 Don't forget the fifth type, the that's a weird looking dog," implying that while the
 creature has an appearance that slips beyond our ken, that raises the tiny hairs
 at the back of our necks and limbs, that makes our lungs rattle and hearts
 constrict,... personality-wise, it is a good boy
 Source: hello-kitty-senpai
 52,450 notes
#anymore #never #were #notNever were, not anymore - #Anymore #notNever

#anymore #never #were #notNever were, not anymore - #Anymore #notNever

Cars, Fire, and God: Jared 2 hrs please tell me someone got a video of the fire truck moving swiftly and safely through thousands of protestors tonight you know, for all of the "concerned citizens" at home You, Rick d 20 others 2 Comments 1 Share Like Share Comment THROWBACK NIGHT OLD SCHOOLAPROV Speak Out Against Adam Iverson Muslim Ban! 17 mins For the people who complain about emergency vehicles being blocked: GVE MEY AdamlversonPhotography captain-snark: ohdionne: So Minnesotans showed the fuck up tonight (like we do) - thousands in the street protesting tr*mp’s latest executive disorders. And guess what happened? The old proverb “What if an emergency vehicle needs to get where it’s going” came to life, and the sea went silent and parted to allow it through (swiftly…literally the truck was going about as fast as, if not faster than, it would have been if there had been cars it needed to go around). Please share this. This was a rare occurrence where an emergency vehicle needed to go through the route of a protest, when usually they have predetermined alternative routes, and it went completely fine. Also for the love of god, have more respect for firefighters/EMTs…they know how to do their jobs. They’re ready for anything, including working around protests. So folks can stop using that tired old argument now (not that it was ever backed up by sources anyway). It’s almost as though these protesters who are protesting for human rights are decent human people.
Cars, Fire, and God: Jared
 2 hrs
 please tell me someone got a video of the fire truck
 moving swiftly and safely through thousands of
 protestors tonight
 you know, for all of the "concerned citizens" at home
 You, Rick
 d 20 others
 2 Comments 1 Share
 Like
 Share
 Comment

 THROWBACK NIGHT
 OLD SCHOOLAPROV
 Speak Out Against
 Adam Iverson
 Muslim Ban!
 17 mins
 For the people who complain about emergency
 vehicles being blocked:
 GVE MEY
 AdamlversonPhotography
captain-snark:

ohdionne:

So Minnesotans showed the fuck up tonight (like we do) - thousands in the street protesting tr*mp’s latest executive disorders. And guess what happened? The old proverb “What if an emergency vehicle needs to get where it’s going” came to life, and the sea went silent and parted to allow it through (swiftly…literally the truck was going about as fast as, if not faster than, it would have been if there had been cars it needed to go around).

Please share this. This was a rare occurrence where an emergency vehicle needed to go through the route of a protest, when usually they have predetermined alternative routes, and it went completely fine. Also for the love of god, have more respect for firefighters/EMTs…they know how to do their jobs. They’re ready for anything, including working around protests. 

So folks can stop using that tired old argument now (not that it was ever backed up by sources anyway).

It’s almost as though these protesters who are protesting for human rights are decent human people.

captain-snark: ohdionne: So Minnesotans showed the fuck up tonight (like we do) - thousands in the street protesting tr*mp’s latest execut...