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Alive, Beard, and Children: feniczoroark: minority-cubed: princemetalthunder: skrill-cosby: drucila616: How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?WITNESS: My name is Susan!_______________________________ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?WITNESS: No, I just lie there.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?WITNESS: July 18th.ATTORNEY: What year?WITNESS: Every year._____________________________________ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?WITNESS: Forty-five years._________________________________ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?WITNESS: I forget..ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?____________________________________ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?WITNESS: Are you shitting me?_________________________________________ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?WITNESS: Getting laid____________________________________________ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: How many were boys?WITNESS: None.ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?____________________________________________ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?WITNESS: By death..ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?WITNESS: Take a guess.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beardATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male._____________________________________ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.______________________________________ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight._________________________________________ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?WITNESS: Oral…_________________________________________ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PMATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?______________________________________And last:ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?WITNESS: No..ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. oh my god these are great fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes The last one is how I feel about all my schoolmates I can feel the frustration
Alive, Beard, and Children: feniczoroark:

minority-cubed:

princemetalthunder:

skrill-cosby:

drucila616:

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?WITNESS: My name is Susan!_______________________________ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?WITNESS: No, I just lie there.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?WITNESS: July 18th.ATTORNEY: What year?WITNESS: Every year._____________________________________ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?WITNESS: Forty-five years._________________________________ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?WITNESS: I forget..ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?____________________________________ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?WITNESS: Are you shitting me?_________________________________________ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?WITNESS: Getting laid____________________________________________ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: How many were boys?WITNESS: None.ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?____________________________________________ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?WITNESS: By death..ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?WITNESS: Take a guess.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beardATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male._____________________________________ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.______________________________________ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight._________________________________________ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?WITNESS: Oral…_________________________________________ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PMATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?______________________________________And last:ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?WITNESS: No..ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

oh my god these are great

fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes


The last one is how I feel about all my schoolmates

I can feel the frustration

feniczoroark: minority-cubed: princemetalthunder: skrill-cosby: drucila616: How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?These are from a...

News, Pop, and Swag: .. . . KOReA News-.. . Yoo Seonho Ungkapkan la Ingin Kolaborasi Lagi Trouble Maker" Hingga Jelaskan Hubungan Spesial Dengan Lai Guanlin WANNA ONE FOLLOWN @NANDO NATNAT Yoo Seonho nampak sangat menyukai aksi panggung dari grup seniornya Trouble Maker. Hal itu nampak membuatnya ingin melakukan lagi setelah sempat menunjukkan perfomance tersebut bersama Lai Guanlin WANNA ONE di Produce 101. Dalam interview dengan Herald Pop (10-7) Yoo Seonho banyak mendapatkan pertanyaan soal partner traineenya di 'Produce 101'. . Q.Saat penempatan level awal, kau telah menampilkan "Trouble Maker" kan. Apa alasanmu memilih bagian HyunAh? A.Kau tahu Lai Guanlin hyung itu rapper, terlihat gentle, dan swag. Karena pak kepala mengatakan ekspresiku bagus, aku mengambil posisi itu. Lalu aku sering mencari video HyunAh noona.Daripada kami canggung mengikuti dance boygrup, karena lagu Troble Maker juga yang mewakili nama Cube, saat itu aku berusaha menampilkan hal yang tak "mainstream" ,, ya seperti yang kalian lihat,, . Q.Apa kau berharap ingin menarikan lagi Trouble Maker bersama Lai Guanlin? A.Kalau ia setuju, kapanpun aku siap.Aku ingin giat melakukan apapun itu. Q.Lai Guanlin telah jadi member Wanna One, apa kalian masih sering menghubungi? A.Kami tak bisa saling menghubungi karena Hyung sibuk.Aku terakhir bertemunya saat konser final Produce 101.Waktu itu katanya dia datang ke agensi tapi aku tak bisa menemuinya karena sedang ada jadwal diluar.Hubungan kami memang spesial tapi kami tak sering mengatakan hal yang spesial.Kami berkomunikasi dengan lirikan mata, dan hati.Kami tak sering mengobrol.Setelah masuk Produce 101 kami jadi dekat.Banyak perubahan deh. Source : Herald Written by Heeloooung ©KSense via @nando_natnat nkn_PRODUCE101 nkn_YOOSEONHO NATNAT_KNEWS Follow @nando_natnat2
News, Pop, and Swag: .. . . KOReA News-.. .
 Yoo Seonho Ungkapkan la Ingin Kolaborasi Lagi
 Trouble Maker" Hingga Jelaskan
 Hubungan Spesial Dengan Lai Guanlin WANNA ONE
 FOLLOWN @NANDO NATNAT
Yoo Seonho nampak sangat menyukai aksi panggung dari grup seniornya Trouble Maker. Hal itu nampak membuatnya ingin melakukan lagi setelah sempat menunjukkan perfomance tersebut bersama Lai Guanlin WANNA ONE di Produce 101. Dalam interview dengan Herald Pop (10-7) Yoo Seonho banyak mendapatkan pertanyaan soal partner traineenya di 'Produce 101'. . Q.Saat penempatan level awal, kau telah menampilkan "Trouble Maker" kan. Apa alasanmu memilih bagian HyunAh? A.Kau tahu Lai Guanlin hyung itu rapper, terlihat gentle, dan swag. Karena pak kepala mengatakan ekspresiku bagus, aku mengambil posisi itu. Lalu aku sering mencari video HyunAh noona.Daripada kami canggung mengikuti dance boygrup, karena lagu Troble Maker juga yang mewakili nama Cube, saat itu aku berusaha menampilkan hal yang tak "mainstream" ,, ya seperti yang kalian lihat,, . Q.Apa kau berharap ingin menarikan lagi Trouble Maker bersama Lai Guanlin? A.Kalau ia setuju, kapanpun aku siap.Aku ingin giat melakukan apapun itu. Q.Lai Guanlin telah jadi member Wanna One, apa kalian masih sering menghubungi? A.Kami tak bisa saling menghubungi karena Hyung sibuk.Aku terakhir bertemunya saat konser final Produce 101.Waktu itu katanya dia datang ke agensi tapi aku tak bisa menemuinya karena sedang ada jadwal diluar.Hubungan kami memang spesial tapi kami tak sering mengatakan hal yang spesial.Kami berkomunikasi dengan lirikan mata, dan hati.Kami tak sering mengobrol.Setelah masuk Produce 101 kami jadi dekat.Banyak perubahan deh. Source : Herald Written by Heeloooung ©KSense via @nando_natnat nkn_PRODUCE101 nkn_YOOSEONHO NATNAT_KNEWS Follow @nando_natnat2

Yoo Seonho nampak sangat menyukai aksi panggung dari grup seniornya Trouble Maker. Hal itu nampak membuatnya ingin melakukan lagi setelah se...

Friday, Memes, and 🤖: MikeEpps audition for Next Friday, might be the greatest thing I've seen this week. Cube couldn't even keep a straight face. 😂😂😂
Friday, Memes, and 🤖: MikeEpps audition for Next Friday, might be the greatest thing I've seen this week. Cube couldn't even keep a straight face. 😂😂😂

MikeEpps audition for Next Friday, might be the greatest thing I've seen this week. Cube couldn't even keep a straight face. 😂😂😂