Claiming
Claiming

Claiming

Entire World
Entire World

Entire World

Taking
Taking

Taking

Thats
Thats

Thats

Didnt
Didnt

Didnt

Your
Your

Your

I Wish
I Wish

I Wish

The
The

The

Walk It Off
Walk It Off

Walk It Off

Not
Not

Not

🔥 | Latest

Being Alone, Crazy, and Home Alone: The Trevor Moore O @itrevormoore Tmes TREDOR moORE Remember. Kevin McCallister could have phoned the police at any time. He was a child who had accidentally been left alone. One call and he would have been safe. But it was never about safety. He was hunting those men. He wanted them to die. It was fun for him. He enjoyed it. bisexualhennessy: foxyclock: orgyporgy: shittymoviedetails: Kevin is the real villian in Home Alone The movie establishes that the phone lines to the house are down, that’s also why nobody is able to call Kevin at home. The movie also establishes that all of his neighbors are out of town which is why he couldn’t borrow their phones. The movie ALSO BEGINS by introducing the main antagonist as a “police officer” which is why Kevin doesn’t trust the cops. I’m so tired of the ignorance. The slander. FINALLY we’ve reached the time of year for home alone discourse #he did what he needed to do to survive. then he did a bunch of other stuff he felt like doing (via @hotcrossedfangs)  Also the police in that movie are hilariously inept. Kevin‘s mom contacts them to do a wellness check on her eight-year-old son who is home alone and for them that consists of casually wandering down to the house, knocking once, and then when nobody answers instead of considering the very real possibility that a frightened young boy might not open the door right away, they just assume everything‘s fine and the mom is just crazy and they fuck right off.
Being Alone, Crazy, and Home Alone: The
 Trevor Moore O
 @itrevormoore
 Tmes
 TREDOR
 moORE
 Remember. Kevin McCallister could
 have phoned the police at any time. He
 was a child who had accidentally been
 left alone. One call and he would have
 been safe. But it was never about safety.
 He was hunting those men. He wanted
 them to die. It was fun for him. He
 enjoyed it.
bisexualhennessy:

foxyclock:

orgyporgy:

shittymoviedetails:
Kevin is the real villian in Home Alone
The movie establishes that the phone lines to the house are down, that’s also why nobody is able to call Kevin at home. The movie also establishes that all of his neighbors are out of town which is why he couldn’t borrow their phones. The movie ALSO BEGINS by introducing the main antagonist as a “police officer” which is why Kevin doesn’t trust the cops. I’m so tired of the ignorance. The slander. 


FINALLY we’ve reached the time of year for home alone discourse

#he did what he needed to do to survive. then he did a bunch of other stuff he felt like doing (via @hotcrossedfangs) 

Also the police in that movie are hilariously inept. Kevin‘s mom contacts them to do a wellness check on her eight-year-old son who is home alone and for them that consists of casually wandering down to the house, knocking once, and then when nobody answers instead of considering the very real possibility that a frightened young boy might not open the door right away, they just assume everything‘s fine and the mom is just crazy and they fuck right off.

bisexualhennessy: foxyclock: orgyporgy: shittymoviedetails: Kevin is the real villian in Home Alone The movie establishes that the phone ...

Aww, Beautiful, and Cute: 2:50 1 ull LTE Today 10:32 AM This is such a weird thing to do. Don't take it as an insult. It's a big compliment actually. I really liked you a lot and I think you are really cute and sweet and funny. So I want to set you up with my good friend if you would be ok with that. I just think you two would have more in common than we do. She likes heavy metal music and she's a nerd and she's shy and beautiful and funny. She's religious though and that's a deal breaker for her if you aren't religious. So two questions, would you want to meet her? And are you religious? Today 11:18 AM I'm super flattered, but l'm very much not religious and totally respect that being a deal breaker. As curious as l'd be to meet her, since that is a deal breaker it's a moot point! I also enjoyed our date last night, you seem like an interesting and attractive woman. But I think there was just a certain chemistry missing, and l'd like to give you the opportunity to find a guy who's a better match for you. Hahaha You're so wonderful! Omg. I'm going to talk to my friend. The entire date I was thinking that you are perfect for her. You two have the same energy. Ugh. Yeah. Religion is a deal breaker for her. You are so nice though! That is the absolute sweetest way anyone has ever turned me down. I wish I had more single female friends to set you up with because you are so sweet and awesome. I would give you 5 stars if I could rate you on here. Hahaha. Sent Aww, you're too sweet. The feeling is mutual. I absolutely wish you and your friend the best of luck with navigating the buffet of guys you both undoubtedly have as options. Like I said, you seem like an amazing girl, just maybe not the amazing girl for me! Send Type a message GIF Stitch It! The most wholesome way that I have ever been turned down
Aww, Beautiful, and Cute: 2:50 1
 ull LTE
 Today 10:32 AM
 This is such a weird thing to do. Don't
 take it as an insult. It's a big
 compliment actually. I really liked you a
 lot and I think you are really cute and
 sweet and funny. So I want to set you
 up with my good friend if you would be
 ok with that. I just think you two would
 have more in common than we do. She
 likes heavy metal music and she's a
 nerd and she's shy and beautiful and
 funny.
 She's religious though and that's a deal
 breaker for her if you aren't religious.
 So two questions, would you want to
 meet her? And are you religious?
 Today 11:18 AM
 I'm super flattered, but l'm very much
 not religious and totally respect that
 being a deal breaker.
 As curious as l'd be to meet her, since
 that is a deal breaker it's a moot point!
 I also enjoyed our date last night, you
 seem like an interesting and attractive
 woman. But I think there was just a
 certain chemistry missing, and l'd like
 to give you the opportunity to find a
 guy who's a better match for you.
 Hahaha
 You're so wonderful! Omg. I'm going to
 talk to my friend. The entire date I was
 thinking that you are perfect for her.
 You two have the same energy.
 Ugh. Yeah. Religion is a deal breaker
 for her. You are so nice though! That is
 the absolute sweetest way anyone has
 ever turned me down. I wish I had more
 single female friends to set you up with
 because you are so sweet and
 awesome.
 I would give you 5 stars if I could rate
 you on here. Hahaha.
 Sent
 Aww, you're too sweet. The feeling is
 mutual. I absolutely wish you and your
 friend the best of luck with navigating
 the buffet of guys you both
 undoubtedly have as options. Like I
 said, you seem like an amazing girl, just
 maybe not the amazing girl for me!
 Send
 Type a message
 GIF
 Stitch It!
The most wholesome way that I have ever been turned down

The most wholesome way that I have ever been turned down

Bones, Cats, and Dogs: Cat's Diary Dog's Diary Day 983 of My Captivity Dog food! My favorite thing! A car ride! My favorite 8:00 am My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre littie dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheiess must eat something in order to keep up my strength. 9:30 am thing! A walk in the park! My 9:40 am favorite thing! 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing! 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail My favorite thing! The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today i decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since this clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good litle hunter" I am. Bastards! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe... for now. Dinner! My favorite thing! 5:00 pm 7:00 pm - Got to play balll My favorite thing! 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing! mini phone dump
Bones, Cats, and Dogs: Cat's Diary
 Dog's Diary
 Day 983 of My Captivity
 Dog food! My favorite thing!
 A car ride! My favorite
 8:00 am
 My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre littie dangling
 objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other
 inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
 Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear,
 I nevertheiess must eat something in order to keep up my
 strength.
 9:30 am
 thing!
 A walk in the park! My
 9:40 am
 favorite thing!
 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My
 favorite thing!
 12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite
 thing!
 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My
 favorite thing!
 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail My favorite
 thing!
 The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In
 an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
 Today i decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at
 their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts,
 since this clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they
 merely made condescending comments about what a "good litle
 hunter" I am. Bastards!
 There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.
 I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the
 event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I
 overheard that my confinement was due to the power of
 "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to
 my advantage.
 Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one
 of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking.
 I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
 I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
 snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly
 released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is
 obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe
 him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that
 he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective
 custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe... for now.
 Dinner! My favorite thing!
 5:00 pm
 7:00 pm - Got to play balll My favorite
 thing!
 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the
 people! My favorite thing!
 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My
 favorite thing!
mini phone dump

mini phone dump

Life, School, and Shower: just-shower-thoughts Blind people must save a lot on electricity. stomatium They do actually! mauve-moth I had a blind professor, last semester, and I swung through his office to make up an exam. It was a while before I knew he was in there because he was sitting with the lights off. I finally went in, apologized, and took the exam by the light of a nearby window (which was fine). Forty-five minutes into dead silence he panicked and yelled in this booming voiced, "WAIT, YOU CAN SEE!!" before diving across his desk to turn on the lights. I'm sure he was embarrassed but I thought it was endearing and it highlighted a large aspect of disabled life that I hadn't previously considered. hotmolasses Sort of relatedly I once had professor who was deaf, but she had learned to read lips and speak so she could communicate easily with hearing people who didn't know sign language. One day she had gotten off topic and was talking a little about her personal life, so that one of the students said "Oh, I know, I grew up in Brooklyn too." She stared at him for a long time and then said "How do you know l'm from Brooklyn?" And he said "You have a Brooklyn accent." She said "I do?" and the whole class nodded, and then she burst out laughing and said "I had no idea! The school where I learned to speak was in Brooklyn. I learned by moving my mouth and tongue the way my teachers did. So I guess it makes sense that I have their accent, I just never thought about it." Realising perspectives!
Life, School, and Shower: just-shower-thoughts
 Blind people must save a lot on electricity.
 stomatium
 They do actually!
 mauve-moth
 I had a blind professor, last semester, and I swung
 through his office to make up an exam. It was a while
 before I knew he was in there because he was sitting
 with the lights off. I finally went in, apologized, and
 took the exam by the light of a nearby window (which
 was fine). Forty-five minutes into dead silence he
 panicked and yelled in this booming voiced, "WAIT,
 YOU CAN SEE!!" before diving across his desk to
 turn on the lights. I'm sure he was embarrassed but I
 thought it was endearing and it highlighted a large
 aspect of disabled life that I hadn't previously
 considered.
 hotmolasses
 Sort of relatedly I once had professor who was deaf,
 but she had learned to read lips and speak so she
 could communicate easily with hearing people who
 didn't know sign language. One day she had gotten
 off topic and was talking a little about her personal
 life, so that one of the students said "Oh, I know, I
 grew up in Brooklyn too."
 She stared at him for a long time and then said "How
 do you know l'm from Brooklyn?"
 And he said "You have a Brooklyn accent."
 She said "I do?" and the whole class nodded, and
 then she burst out laughing and said "I had no idea!
 The school where I learned to speak was in Brooklyn.
 I learned by moving my mouth and tongue the way
 my teachers did. So I guess it makes sense that I
 have their accent, I just never thought about it."
Realising perspectives!

Realising perspectives!

Bad, Christmas, and Dr. Seuss: 12:36 o s O NO Sl A 42% 4 < Jane Ari Pralle Chat Yeter 2u You iked Jane's phota Yetering onu I can't resist a good bad Christmas sweater What should your custom poem be about Ooh surprise me But that could be copy pasted and that's no tun Gimme something suuuuper specific And then I need a format choice toa, between Dr. Seuss poem, Shakespearean sonnet, or something custom Yesterty For the spirit of things, that same Christmas sweater. I think sonnet or Seuss style would be Interesting Sommet, final answer Sonnet Veetery 0PM I enjoy al these amusingly specitic soloctionsl Holiday sweaters. are my shit. Sit tight| Engaging ryicality Should Rudolph pause before a red so fine? Esch every handmade brickline laid with care No sweater on this earth match'd her desigrn, Doff polyester now for wool so fair. Nostalgic evenings end by fire's dance, Unending chest nuts roasting on the flame Doth time unerringly from thus advance? Enmesh fair memries in your fabric's frame. Such understated beauty holds the wreath, Just lookl espy her face for beauty more. And yonder ribbons dance and light bequeath, No trash pullover could so highly soar Each hearth lacks warmth in absence of such heart. Ere onto spring l'd never be apart. Tuday AM That was very well thought out, I really, really liked it Trsday M Haha thankall But just wait until you read the first ietter of each ine in the sonnet Taday SAM Dammit You're too clever Ch if anly it ended there. See the message I sent after your requesta, the one about the amusingly specific selections? Resd the first letter of each word in that sentence Tulay aAM Did not see that one coming Taday AM Oh, it only gets worse. The message after that one, starting with "holiday sweaters". Write down the first letter of each word, but than read it backwards Any other coded messages? Keeps on going fm afraid Check out the sonnet again. Read the first letter of the "second" word in each line Fedau AM Well played (at this point she guessed what's ahead and also did this one) I got that one Unsurprisingly there's also a secret message it you read the first letter of the third word in each ine Probably for good measure you could olso read the first letter of every message i sent "after the sonnet Th SENDNODES NE Sthash especttuy the hmanher Degr I thought I’d peaked before, but I was so, so wrong… This clearly is the best I’ll ever manage. I can’t ever hope to match it
Bad, Christmas, and Dr. Seuss: 12:36 o s O
 NO Sl
 A 42% 4
 < Jane Ari
 Pralle
 Chat
 Yeter 2u
 You iked Jane's phota
 Yetering onu
 I can't resist a good bad Christmas sweater
 What should your custom poem be about
 Ooh surprise me
 But that could be copy pasted and that's no tun
 Gimme something suuuuper specific
 And then I need a format choice toa, between
 Dr. Seuss poem, Shakespearean sonnet, or
 something custom
 Yesterty
 For the spirit of things, that same Christmas
 sweater. I think sonnet or Seuss style would
 be Interesting
 Sommet, final answer
 Sonnet
 Veetery 0PM
 I enjoy al these amusingly specitic soloctionsl
 Holiday sweaters. are my shit. Sit tight| Engaging
 ryicality
 Should Rudolph pause before a red so fine?
 Esch every handmade brickline laid with care
 No sweater on this earth match'd her desigrn,
 Doff polyester now for wool so fair.
 Nostalgic evenings end by fire's dance,
 Unending chest nuts roasting on the flame
 Doth time unerringly from thus advance?
 Enmesh fair memries in your fabric's frame.
 Such understated beauty holds the wreath,
 Just lookl espy her face for beauty more.
 And yonder ribbons dance and light bequeath,
 No trash pullover could so highly soar
 Each hearth lacks warmth in absence of such
 heart.
 Ere onto spring l'd never be apart.
 Tuday AM
 That was very well thought out, I really,
 really liked it
 Trsday M
 Haha thankall But just wait until you read the first
 ietter of each ine in the sonnet
 Taday SAM
 Dammit
 You're too clever
 Ch if anly it ended there. See the message I sent
 after your requesta, the one about the amusingly
 specific selections? Resd the first letter of each
 word in that sentence
 Tulay aAM
 Did not see that one coming
 Taday AM
 Oh, it only gets worse. The message after that
 one, starting with "holiday sweaters". Write down
 the first letter of each word, but than read it
 backwards
 Any other coded messages?
 Keeps on going fm afraid Check out the sonnet
 again. Read the first letter of the "second" word
 in each line
 Fedau AM
 Well played
 (at this point she guessed what's
 ahead and also did this one)
 I got that one
 Unsurprisingly there's also a secret message it
 you read the first letter of the third word in each
 ine
 Probably for good measure you could olso read
 the first letter of every message i sent "after the
 sonnet
 Th
 SENDNODES NE
 Sthash
 especttuy the
 hmanher
 Degr
I thought I’d peaked before, but I was so, so wrong… This clearly is the best I’ll ever manage. I can’t ever hope to match it

I thought I’d peaked before, but I was so, so wrong… This clearly is the best I’ll ever manage. I can’t ever hope to match it