Cosmopolitan


                    
                    
                

                

                

            

        
    







            

            
            

                

                    
                

                

                    

                        


	

	
    
        

            

                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

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    Cosmopolitan: kristalknobb:
Illustration for Cosmopolitan, June 1974 Detail
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Cosmopolitan: kristalknobb:
Illustration for Cosmopolitan, June 1974 Detail
                
            

            
            
kristalknobb:
Illustration for Cosmopolitan, June 1974 Detail

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Cosmopolitan: The Elder Scrolls III
 The elder Scrolls
 MORROWINTD
 MORROWIND
 e9
 Do not mm
 ORK
 Media company.The Elder Scrolls, Morrowind
 Bink Video, Copynight 1997-2001 by RAD
 Game of the Year Edition
 mvention of copy pro
 strictly prohibited.Confide

 SAFETY INFORMATION
 TABLE OF CONTENTS
 Introduction
 Main Menu
 Gameplay Controls
 The Game Screen
 Stats Menu
 Inventory Menu
 Magic Menu
 Map Menu
 Races
 Attributes
 Derived Attributes
 Combat Arts
 ABOUT PHOTOSENSITIVE SEIZURES
 A very small percentage of people may
 visual images, including flashing lights or patterns that may appear
 Even people who have no history of seizures or epilepsy may have a
 condition that can cause these photosensitve epileptic seizures while watching video
 experience a seizure when exposed to certain
 in video games.
 n undiagnosed
 These seizures may have a variety of symptoms including: lightheadedness
 vision, eye or face twitching, jerking or shaking of arms or legs, disorientation
 entation
 confusion, or momentary loss of awareness. Seizures may also cause loss of
 consciousness or convulsions that can lead to injury from falling down or strikina
 nearby objects.
 16
 mmediately stop playing and consult a doctor if you experience any of these
 symptoms Parents should watch for or ask their children about
 hildren and teenagers are more likely than adults to experience these seizures. The
 the above symptoms.
 19
 Stealth Arts
 of photosensitive epileptic seizures may be reduced by sitting farther from the
 using a smaller television screen, playing in a well-lit room, and not
 Combat Classes
 Magic Classes
 Stealth Classes
 en you are drowsy or fatigued
 of your relatives have a history of seizures or epilepsy, consult a doctor
 Increasing Your Skills and Leveling Up
 Weapons
 R IMPORTANT HEALTH AND SAFETY INFORMATION
 28
 29
 30
 .30
 30
 ox Instruction Manual contains important safety and health information that
 Using Weapons, Repairing Weapons & Armor
 u should read and understand before using this software
 School of Conjuration
 VOID DAMAGE TO YOUR TELEVISION
 School of Illusion
 School of Destruction
 not use with certain televisions. Some televisions, especially front- or rear-projection
 pes, can be damaged if any video games, including Xbox games, are played on them.
 tatic images presented during the normal course of game play may burn in to the
 creen, causing a permanent shadow of the static image to appear at all times, even
 when video games are not being played. Similar damage may occur from static images
 eated when placing a video game on hold or pause. Consult your television owner's
 nanual to determine if video games can be safely played safely on your set. If you are
 unable to find this information in the owner's manual, contact your television dealer or
 School of Restoration
 School of Mysticism
 School of Alteration
 Abilities, Powers, Diseases, Spells.
 34
 35
 36
 Magic Items, Magic Scrolls
 Spellmaking
 Enchanting
 39
 the manufacturer to determine if video games can be played safely on your set.
 I Unauthorized copying, reverse engineering, transmission, public performance, rental,
 Potions, Alchemy
 Stealth
 pay for play, or circumvention of copy protection is strictly prohibited
 42
 Books, Journal.
 Containers, Resting and Waiting, Fast Travel, Crime and Jail.
 Loading and Saving
 Preferences
 Credits
 .46
 The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind
 The Elder ScI: Morrowind

 CREATING YOUR CHARACTER
 When you first start, you mu
 entered in your Name, you'l be asked to select a Race, Class, and Bithsign
 ist decide what kind of player you will be. After you've
 DARK ELF
 In the Empire, "Dark Elf is the common
 usage, but in their Morrowind homeland,
 they call themselves the "Dunmer." The
 dark-skinned, red-eyed Dunmer combine
 powerful intellect with strong and agile
 physiques, producing superior warriors and
 sorcerers. On the battlefield, Dark Elves are
 noted for their skilled and balanced
 integration of swordsmen, marksmen, and
 war wizards.
 RACES
 You may choose from 10 races commonly encountered in MORROWIND. Since each
 race has unique abilities, selecting your race is one of the most important decisions
 vou'll make.
 ARGONIAN
 Little is known and less is understood about the
 reptilian denizens of Black Marsh. Years of
 defending their borders have made the
 Argonians experts in guerilla warfare, and their
 Skill Bonuses: Long Blade +5, Destruction +10, Light Armor +5, Athletics +5, Mysticism +5,
 Marksman +5, Short Blade +10
 Specials: Ancestor Guardian, Resistant to Fire
 natural abilities make them equally at home in
 water and on land. They are well suited for the
 treacherous swamps of their homeland, and
 have developed natural immunities to the
 diseases and poisons that have doomed many
 would-be explorers of the region.
 HIGH ELF
 The High Elves, or Altmer, are the proud, tall, golden-
 skinned peoples of Summerset Isle. The common
 tongue of the Empire, Tamrielic, is based on their
 speech and writing, and most of the Empire's arts,
 crafts, and sciences are derived from High Elven
 traditions. Deft, intelligent, and strong-willed, High
 Elves are often gifted in the arcane arts, and are far
 more resistant to disease than the lesser races.
 Skill Bonuses: Alchemy +5, Athletics +15,Illusion +5, Medium Armor +5, Mysticism +5
 Spear +5, Unarmored+5
 Specials: Resist Disease, Immune to Poison, Water Breathing
 Skill: Destruction +10, Enchant +10, Alchemy +10, Alteration +5, Conjuration +5,Illusion +5
 Specials: Fortified Maximum Magicka, Weakness to Magicka, Fire, Frost, and Shock,
 Resistant to Disease
 BRETON
 Bretons feel an inborn, instinctive bond
 with the mercurial forces of magic and the
 supernatural. Many great sorcerers have
 IMPERIAL
 Natives of the civilized, cosmopolitan province of
 Cyrodiil, the Imperials are well-educated and well-
 spoken. Though physically less imposing than the
 other races, the Imperials have proved to be shrewd
 diplomats and traders. These traits, along with their
 remarkable skill and training as light infantry, have
 enabled them to subdue all the other provinces and
 to have erected the monument to peace and
 prosperity that comprises the Glorious Empire.
 from the home province of High
 Rock, and in addition to their quick and
 perceptive grasp of spellcraft, enchantment,
 and alchemy, even the humblest of Bretons
 boast a high resistance to destructive and
 dominating magical energies.
 Skill Bonuses: Conjuration +10, Mysticism +10, Restoration +10, Alchemy +5, Alteration +5
 Illusion +5
 pecials: Fortified Maximum Magicka, Dragon Skin, Resist Magicka
 SKILL BONUSES: Speechcraft+10, Mercantile+10, Long Blade +10, Blunt Weapon +S,
 Light Armor +5, Hand to Hand +5
 SPECIALS: Star of the West, Voice of the Emperor
 The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind
 13
 The Elder crlsIII: Morowind

 BIRTHSIGNS
 In Tamriel, persons born under certain constellations are said to be fortunate in their
 aspects', Such persons are often blessed-or cursed- with remarkable abilities or
 weaknesses as a result of the magical conjunctions of celestíal influences.
 STEALTH SPECIALIZED CLASSES
 THIEVES
 Thieves are pickpockets and pilferers. Unlike robbers, who kill and
 loot, thieves typically choose stealth and subterfuge over violence,
 and often entertain romantic notions of their charm and
 in their acquisitive activities
 cleverness
 THE APPRENTICE
 Those bom under the sign of The Apprentice have increased Magicka, but
 also have a weakness to it.
 AGENTS
 atives skilled in deception and avoidance, but
 dasTHE ATRONACH
 trained in self-defense and the use of deadly force. Self-reliant and
 independent, agents devote themselves to personal goals, or to
 various patrons or causes.
 Those born under the sign of The Atronach cannot regenerate Magicka, but
 have a chance of absorbing any magic cast at them.
 THE LADY
 Those born under the sign of The Lady have increased Endurande
 and Personality.
 ASSASSINS
 Assassins are killers who rely on stealth and mobility to approach
 victims undetected. Execution is performed with ranged weapons
 or with short blades for close work. Assassins can be ruthless
 murderers or principled agents of noble causes.
 THE LORD
 Those born under the sign of The Lord can regenerate Health, but are weak
 to fire
 THE LOVER
 Those born under the sign of The Lover have increased Agility and can
 paralyze others with a kiss.
 ACROBATS
 Acrobať' is a polite euphemism for agile burglars and second-story
 men, These thieves avoid detection by stealth, and rely on mobility
 and cunning to avoid capture.
 THE MAGE
 Those born under the sign of The Mage have increased Magicka.
 MONKS
 Monks are students of the ancient martial arts of hand-to-hand
 combat and unarmored self-defense. Monks avoid detection by
 stealth, mobility, and agility, and are skilled with a variety of
 ranged and close-combat weapons.
 THE RITUAL
 Those born under the sign of The Ritual can heal themselves and
 turn undead.
 THE SERPENT
 Those born under the sign of The Serpent can poison others at a loss of
 PILGRIMS
 Pilgrims are travelers, seekers of truth and enlightenment. They
 fortify themselves for road and wilderness with arms, armor, and
 magic, and through wide experience of the world, they become
 shrewd in commerce and persuasion
 their own Health.
 THE SHADOW
 Those born under the sign of The Shadow can make themselves invisible.
 THE STEED
 Those born under the sign of The Steed can move faster
 BARDS
 Bards are loremasters and storytellers. They crave adventure for the
 wisdom and insight to be gained, and must depend on sword
 shield, spell, and enchantment to preserve them from the perils of
 their educational experiences
 THE THIEF
 Those born under the sign of The Thief are harder to hit.
 THE TOWER
 detect things at a distance.
 Those born under the sign of The Warrior have an increased chance
 Those born under the sign of The Tower can unlock doors magically and
 THE WARRIOR
 25
I miss the days when games came with manuals
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Cosmopolitan: The Elder Scrolls III
 The elder Scrolls
 MORROWINTD
 MORROWIND
 e9
 Do not mm
 ORK
 Media company.The Elder Scrolls, Morrowind
 Bink Video, Copynight 1997-2001 by RAD
 Game of the Year Edition
 mvention of copy pro
 strictly prohibited.Confide

 SAFETY INFORMATION
 TABLE OF CONTENTS
 Introduction
 Main Menu
 Gameplay Controls
 The Game Screen
 Stats Menu
 Inventory Menu
 Magic Menu
 Map Menu
 Races
 Attributes
 Derived Attributes
 Combat Arts
 ABOUT PHOTOSENSITIVE SEIZURES
 A very small percentage of people may
 visual images, including flashing lights or patterns that may appear
 Even people who have no history of seizures or epilepsy may have a
 condition that can cause these photosensitve epileptic seizures while watching video
 experience a seizure when exposed to certain
 in video games.
 n undiagnosed
 These seizures may have a variety of symptoms including: lightheadedness
 vision, eye or face twitching, jerking or shaking of arms or legs, disorientation
 entation
 confusion, or momentary loss of awareness. Seizures may also cause loss of
 consciousness or convulsions that can lead to injury from falling down or strikina
 nearby objects.
 16
 mmediately stop playing and consult a doctor if you experience any of these
 symptoms Parents should watch for or ask their children about
 hildren and teenagers are more likely than adults to experience these seizures. The
 the above symptoms.
 19
 Stealth Arts
 of photosensitive epileptic seizures may be reduced by sitting farther from the
 using a smaller television screen, playing in a well-lit room, and not
 Combat Classes
 Magic Classes
 Stealth Classes
 en you are drowsy or fatigued
 of your relatives have a history of seizures or epilepsy, consult a doctor
 Increasing Your Skills and Leveling Up
 Weapons
 R IMPORTANT HEALTH AND SAFETY INFORMATION
 28
 29
 30
 .30
 30
 ox Instruction Manual contains important safety and health information that
 Using Weapons, Repairing Weapons & Armor
 u should read and understand before using this software
 School of Conjuration
 VOID DAMAGE TO YOUR TELEVISION
 School of Illusion
 School of Destruction
 not use with certain televisions. Some televisions, especially front- or rear-projection
 pes, can be damaged if any video games, including Xbox games, are played on them.
 tatic images presented during the normal course of game play may burn in to the
 creen, causing a permanent shadow of the static image to appear at all times, even
 when video games are not being played. Similar damage may occur from static images
 eated when placing a video game on hold or pause. Consult your television owner's
 nanual to determine if video games can be safely played safely on your set. If you are
 unable to find this information in the owner's manual, contact your television dealer or
 School of Restoration
 School of Mysticism
 School of Alteration
 Abilities, Powers, Diseases, Spells.
 34
 35
 36
 Magic Items, Magic Scrolls
 Spellmaking
 Enchanting
 39
 the manufacturer to determine if video games can be played safely on your set.
 I Unauthorized copying, reverse engineering, transmission, public performance, rental,
 Potions, Alchemy
 Stealth
 pay for play, or circumvention of copy protection is strictly prohibited
 42
 Books, Journal.
 Containers, Resting and Waiting, Fast Travel, Crime and Jail.
 Loading and Saving
 Preferences
 Credits
 .46
 The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind
 The Elder ScI: Morrowind

 CREATING YOUR CHARACTER
 When you first start, you mu
 entered in your Name, you'l be asked to select a Race, Class, and Bithsign
 ist decide what kind of player you will be. After you've
 DARK ELF
 In the Empire, "Dark Elf is the common
 usage, but in their Morrowind homeland,
 they call themselves the "Dunmer." The
 dark-skinned, red-eyed Dunmer combine
 powerful intellect with strong and agile
 physiques, producing superior warriors and
 sorcerers. On the battlefield, Dark Elves are
 noted for their skilled and balanced
 integration of swordsmen, marksmen, and
 war wizards.
 RACES
 You may choose from 10 races commonly encountered in MORROWIND. Since each
 race has unique abilities, selecting your race is one of the most important decisions
 vou'll make.
 ARGONIAN
 Little is known and less is understood about the
 reptilian denizens of Black Marsh. Years of
 defending their borders have made the
 Argonians experts in guerilla warfare, and their
 Skill Bonuses: Long Blade +5, Destruction +10, Light Armor +5, Athletics +5, Mysticism +5,
 Marksman +5, Short Blade +10
 Specials: Ancestor Guardian, Resistant to Fire
 natural abilities make them equally at home in
 water and on land. They are well suited for the
 treacherous swamps of their homeland, and
 have developed natural immunities to the
 diseases and poisons that have doomed many
 would-be explorers of the region.
 HIGH ELF
 The High Elves, or Altmer, are the proud, tall, golden-
 skinned peoples of Summerset Isle. The common
 tongue of the Empire, Tamrielic, is based on their
 speech and writing, and most of the Empire's arts,
 crafts, and sciences are derived from High Elven
 traditions. Deft, intelligent, and strong-willed, High
 Elves are often gifted in the arcane arts, and are far
 more resistant to disease than the lesser races.
 Skill Bonuses: Alchemy +5, Athletics +15,Illusion +5, Medium Armor +5, Mysticism +5
 Spear +5, Unarmored+5
 Specials: Resist Disease, Immune to Poison, Water Breathing
 Skill: Destruction +10, Enchant +10, Alchemy +10, Alteration +5, Conjuration +5,Illusion +5
 Specials: Fortified Maximum Magicka, Weakness to Magicka, Fire, Frost, and Shock,
 Resistant to Disease
 BRETON
 Bretons feel an inborn, instinctive bond
 with the mercurial forces of magic and the
 supernatural. Many great sorcerers have
 IMPERIAL
 Natives of the civilized, cosmopolitan province of
 Cyrodiil, the Imperials are well-educated and well-
 spoken. Though physically less imposing than the
 other races, the Imperials have proved to be shrewd
 diplomats and traders. These traits, along with their
 remarkable skill and training as light infantry, have
 enabled them to subdue all the other provinces and
 to have erected the monument to peace and
 prosperity that comprises the Glorious Empire.
 from the home province of High
 Rock, and in addition to their quick and
 perceptive grasp of spellcraft, enchantment,
 and alchemy, even the humblest of Bretons
 boast a high resistance to destructive and
 dominating magical energies.
 Skill Bonuses: Conjuration +10, Mysticism +10, Restoration +10, Alchemy +5, Alteration +5
 Illusion +5
 pecials: Fortified Maximum Magicka, Dragon Skin, Resist Magicka
 SKILL BONUSES: Speechcraft+10, Mercantile+10, Long Blade +10, Blunt Weapon +S,
 Light Armor +5, Hand to Hand +5
 SPECIALS: Star of the West, Voice of the Emperor
 The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind
 13
 The Elder crlsIII: Morowind

 BIRTHSIGNS
 In Tamriel, persons born under certain constellations are said to be fortunate in their
 aspects', Such persons are often blessed-or cursed- with remarkable abilities or
 weaknesses as a result of the magical conjunctions of celestíal influences.
 STEALTH SPECIALIZED CLASSES
 THIEVES
 Thieves are pickpockets and pilferers. Unlike robbers, who kill and
 loot, thieves typically choose stealth and subterfuge over violence,
 and often entertain romantic notions of their charm and
 in their acquisitive activities
 cleverness
 THE APPRENTICE
 Those bom under the sign of The Apprentice have increased Magicka, but
 also have a weakness to it.
 AGENTS
 atives skilled in deception and avoidance, but
 dasTHE ATRONACH
 trained in self-defense and the use of deadly force. Self-reliant and
 independent, agents devote themselves to personal goals, or to
 various patrons or causes.
 Those born under the sign of The Atronach cannot regenerate Magicka, but
 have a chance of absorbing any magic cast at them.
 THE LADY
 Those born under the sign of The Lady have increased Endurande
 and Personality.
 ASSASSINS
 Assassins are killers who rely on stealth and mobility to approach
 victims undetected. Execution is performed with ranged weapons
 or with short blades for close work. Assassins can be ruthless
 murderers or principled agents of noble causes.
 THE LORD
 Those born under the sign of The Lord can regenerate Health, but are weak
 to fire
 THE LOVER
 Those born under the sign of The Lover have increased Agility and can
 paralyze others with a kiss.
 ACROBATS
 Acrobať' is a polite euphemism for agile burglars and second-story
 men, These thieves avoid detection by stealth, and rely on mobility
 and cunning to avoid capture.
 THE MAGE
 Those born under the sign of The Mage have increased Magicka.
 MONKS
 Monks are students of the ancient martial arts of hand-to-hand
 combat and unarmored self-defense. Monks avoid detection by
 stealth, mobility, and agility, and are skilled with a variety of
 ranged and close-combat weapons.
 THE RITUAL
 Those born under the sign of The Ritual can heal themselves and
 turn undead.
 THE SERPENT
 Those born under the sign of The Serpent can poison others at a loss of
 PILGRIMS
 Pilgrims are travelers, seekers of truth and enlightenment. They
 fortify themselves for road and wilderness with arms, armor, and
 magic, and through wide experience of the world, they become
 shrewd in commerce and persuasion
 their own Health.
 THE SHADOW
 Those born under the sign of The Shadow can make themselves invisible.
 THE STEED
 Those born under the sign of The Steed can move faster
 BARDS
 Bards are loremasters and storytellers. They crave adventure for the
 wisdom and insight to be gained, and must depend on sword
 shield, spell, and enchantment to preserve them from the perils of
 their educational experiences
 THE THIEF
 Those born under the sign of The Thief are harder to hit.
 THE TOWER
 detect things at a distance.
 Those born under the sign of The Warrior have an increased chance
 Those born under the sign of The Tower can unlock doors magically and
 THE WARRIOR
 25
I miss the days when games came with manuals
                
            

            
            
I miss the days when games came with manuals

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Cosmopolitan: bollywoodhqs:

Cosmopolitan Man
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Cosmopolitan: bollywoodhqs:

Cosmopolitan Man
                
            

            
            
bollywoodhqs:

Cosmopolitan Man

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    Cosmopolitan: She was an old dog when she
 moved in with us - nine years
 old at the time. Last month she
 turned old enough to be able
 to vote
Shout to u ladies whose grammar and spelling turn poor AF when u s€xt!ng bruv. In fact when the grammar-spelling too on point and the punctuation is all in the right place it’s almost like wtf? If u so fired up how u typing so good ma sumting wong 🤔. Nah. Lemme see that urgency. “Omg daddy that would feel so goog please dady”. Yes ma’am! I’m there! This wasn’t no cut and paste! Stop it ladies I know some of y’all in the game like magazine editors out dis bih. Cosmopolitan Editor-in-Chief and sh*t bruv “83 ways to please your man” lookin a$$, ol “Lemme grab this perfect photograph with optimal lighting from when Obama was just elected and it was a better time and lemme pair it with this text that has worked 11 times before” and the man usually buy it just like “omg Karen you’re AMAZING lol heck 😍”. Nah. I be searching the room for clues. “That Dell laptop look like a college joint ma. Freshman special lmao. Paid $899 at orientation at the campus bookstore lookin a$$. Lemme find out this pic is circa 2008. This pic turning 10 next year. We need to celebrate the taking of this pic ma u need to retire this pic...Nine years of service ma that pic need a pension and a retiree health care plan” 😂. Nah. Send me a hastily worded text u typed with one hand (😍) and pair it with a pic where yo hair look a mess and u laying in bed talmbout “pardon the mess and pardon my cat he’s an a$$hole” send me THAT. All natural. U feel me? NOTHING AGAINST MAKEUP I LOVE U LADIES AND YALL ONE INCH THICK MAKEUP TUTORIAL EYEBROWS WITH THE MASTERFULLY DONE FADE BUT I ALSO LOVE U WITH YA NORMAL EYEBROWS, BAGS UNDER YA EYES, SKRETCH MARKS, NANI STUBBLE WITH THE SKRAGGLY BUCKSHOT STRAY SHORT HAIR RIGHT WHERE THE THIGH MEAT CREASES TO MEET THE NANI REGION (Lil Atticus Pubicus u doing the best u can u escaped the razor this time and u be gone by next time but u fought the good fight, u da real MVP 🏅😂), CELLULITE, OTHER “imperfections”, I’LL TAKE ANY DAY OVER A PIC FROM WHEN JA RULE WAS SO HOT THAT JAY-Z MADE A MUSICAL GROUP WITH HIM (all u lil babies out there please google ‘Murder Inc.’, this happened 🤗, don’t say smash never taught u nothing BLESS UP 😩😂😂😂)
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Cosmopolitan: She was an old dog when she
 moved in with us - nine years
 old at the time. Last month she
 turned old enough to be able
 to vote
Shout to u ladies whose grammar and spelling turn poor AF when u s€xt!ng bruv. In fact when the grammar-spelling too on point and the punctuation is all in the right place it’s almost like wtf? If u so fired up how u typing so good ma sumting wong 🤔. Nah. Lemme see that urgency. “Omg daddy that would feel so goog please dady”. Yes ma’am! I’m there! This wasn’t no cut and paste! Stop it ladies I know some of y’all in the game like magazine editors out dis bih. Cosmopolitan Editor-in-Chief and sh*t bruv “83 ways to please your man” lookin a$$, ol “Lemme grab this perfect photograph with optimal lighting from when Obama was just elected and it was a better time and lemme pair it with this text that has worked 11 times before” and the man usually buy it just like “omg Karen you’re AMAZING lol heck 😍”. Nah. I be searching the room for clues. “That Dell laptop look like a college joint ma. Freshman special lmao. Paid $899 at orientation at the campus bookstore lookin a$$. Lemme find out this pic is circa 2008. This pic turning 10 next year. We need to celebrate the taking of this pic ma u need to retire this pic...Nine years of service ma that pic need a pension and a retiree health care plan” 😂. Nah. Send me a hastily worded text u typed with one hand (😍) and pair it with a pic where yo hair look a mess and u laying in bed talmbout “pardon the mess and pardon my cat he’s an a$$hole” send me THAT. All natural. U feel me? NOTHING AGAINST MAKEUP I LOVE U LADIES AND YALL ONE INCH THICK MAKEUP TUTORIAL EYEBROWS WITH THE MASTERFULLY DONE FADE BUT I ALSO LOVE U WITH YA NORMAL EYEBROWS, BAGS UNDER YA EYES, SKRETCH MARKS, NANI STUBBLE WITH THE SKRAGGLY BUCKSHOT STRAY SHORT HAIR RIGHT WHERE THE THIGH MEAT CREASES TO MEET THE NANI REGION (Lil Atticus Pubicus u doing the best u can u escaped the razor this time and u be gone by next time but u fought the good fight, u da real MVP 🏅😂), CELLULITE, OTHER “imperfections”, I’LL TAKE ANY DAY OVER A PIC FROM WHEN JA RULE WAS SO HOT THAT JAY-Z MADE A MUSICAL GROUP WITH HIM (all u lil babies out there please google ‘Murder Inc.’, this happened 🤗, don’t say smash never taught u nothing BLESS UP 😩😂😂😂)
                
            

            
            
Shout to u ladies whose grammar and spelling turn poor AF when u s€xt!ng bruv. In fact when the grammar-spelling too on point and the pun...